[00:02] someone's eyes, hoping they would listen to me, and they would turn their backs on me.  I understood that that day was necessary because today I focus on my client's gaze and I don't let him lose
[00:17] my client's gaze and I don't let him lose hope that I when I was 6 years old, right?  We came from São Paulo, from Minas Gerais
[00:34] came from São Paulo, from Minas Gerais to São Paulo, an alcoholic father with to São Paulo, an alcoholic father with four children and an illiterate woman four children and an illiterate woman who believed, you know, that marriage made
[00:46] difference.  She has an older daughter, an unemployed father living in a room, right? unemployed father living in a room, right? Suddenly he got a job and we
[00:58] ate bread and juice all day long because we didn't have a stove to cook on, you know?  So we would spend the whole day eating bread with juice, and at night we would sleep in a single bed with four children.  As the
[01:13] eldest daughter, I registered that moment in my life.  Then one day my father got a job and I was so happy because I thought everything was going to work out and we were going to get out of that life.  So, what really struck me was looking at those
[01:27] walls and seeing that there was no plaster.  And I saw my mother one day drinking a liter of wine because she couldn't stand seeing her children in that situation anymore.  One early morning, my father had found a
[01:40] job, but he didn't have a stove or a clock.  He woke up in the middle of the night, around clock.  He woke up in the middle of the night, around 3 a.m., jumped out of bed and said, "I lost my job because I overslept."  That
[01:54] overslept."  That daughter, who's almost seven, woke up too, and I said, "Wow, if he lost his job, I'm not sure if drinking juice with bread will make things worse."  But no.  It was 3
[02:09] a.m., he left a very dangerous place, where people murdered for no reason. Well, he went to work and waited from 3 Well, he went to work and waited from 3 until 7 in the morning for the company to
[02:22] until 7 in the morning for the company to open so he could start working.  This child open so he could start working.  This child grew up in extreme poverty, but seeing that father wake up in the middle of the night and drink heavily on weekends, you know?  And I
[02:36] believed that I was going to be someone. And when I grew up, I got my job.  I had to arrive at work before everyone else, because
[02:48] if someone arrived before me, I was considered incompetent and I would lose my job.  So I was carrying a great deal of pain, a backpack that belonged to my father, but that 6- year-old child understood that if I didn't arrive,
[03:03] you know, first I would lose my job. So, I lived my whole story on my part, you know, in the labor field.  I'm an accountant, you know, and I wasn't being recognized at my job.  Once, in a conversation on the
[03:18] subway with my boss, I said, "Wow, I need to buy a gate for my house, you know, and I'm not going to buy it because if I lose my job, I'll pay for the gate." He said, "But if you lose your job, you have severance pay, you can pay for the gate."
[03:32] So, I carried a lot of limiting beliefs, right? limiting beliefs, right? And a lot of suffering. Because of that, I swallowed a lot of nonsense at work. Everyone was recognized, except me. I did my
[03:45] best. And when I asked for a raise, it was always a no. And then one day, uh, it was the first time I felt a lot of stomach pain. And then I went to the doctor, one ulcer, two ulcers, three
[04:01] ulcers, they would heal and automatically come back. Then one day the doctor told me, "Look, you have to stop smoking." I said, "Doctor, I don't smoke." He said, "Then, your cancer test came back abnormal, and this cancer test only comes back abnormal for
[04:16] abnormal, and this cancer test only comes back abnormal for That day I understood that I had to take a break.  In my job, because I was in a place and I was living my father's story, because I was
[04:31] constantly expecting to be fired and I wasn't recognized, because n't be recognized. Then one day I went to college, wasn't what I wanted, because in my mind I always wanted to be a
[04:47] psychologist, but I didn't see myself in that role because I thought I would never be poor. Then one day, working, having already finished college, I don't really like social media, you know? Married, I got married at 17, you
[05:04] social media, you know? Married, I got married at 17, you know? I met my father, uh, my husband was a friend and we started dating and my father decided to go back to Minas Gerais so he wouldn't get married. Then my husband went after him, I got married at 17,
[05:20] husband went after him, I got married at 17, without any experience whatsoever. And then I went to college and at work one day I decided to go on Facebook, something I do n't really like to
[05:32] do. And I had been praying to God,  I was asking God to give me a solution. Why? My job didn't justify my my effort. So I wanted to achieve
[05:46] something, I earned a little money, but it didn't fulfill me. So I said, "Oh, Lord." Then I started praying. Put something in my life that will make me truly live my dream, right? And when I was feeling unwell,
[06:03] because the ulcers made me feel so bad, I had terrible cramps, I would go to work with terrible cramps. When I went to the doctor, the doctor would tell me, "Look, I'm going to give you a three-day sick leave." I would cry like
[06:16] a child in front of the doctor. "Don't do that because I can't lose my job." I wasn't an adult yet, I was still a 6-year-old child. And then that day, when I opened Facebook and saw
[06:30] Jair, I looked at him, I didn't see Jair the person, I looked into his eyes, because as he says, "I have very keen eyes."  I was staring
[06:42] blankly, and the only thing I saw was Jair's eyes. I wanted to see if there was sincerity in that man, because I didn't trust anyone anymore, because everyone approached me to take what
[06:56] I didn't have for myself, you know? So I said: "No, this man must be lying, that's not true." And then I watched that video several times, looking for the same look that child had when his father drank, and I was
[07:13] looking for help in someone's eyes, and people turned their backs on me, and I kept looking for Jair's look to see if he was really being sincere. The video ended, and I said: "I need to take this course."  I took the
[07:30] mini-course and then he appreciated it.  Because I had a limiting belief, I thought, "My God, that's a lot of money, I won't be able to do it, it's too much money."  Then I started thinking, and I said: "No, this is my
[07:43] opportunity."  And then, on the last day I had to register, I said: "I'm going to believe. If I don't believe now, I 'll still continue not living my dream of being that psychologist, the one that child
[07:59] developed seeing a family that was increasingly involved in was increasingly involved in alcoholism and limiting beliefs." So I started the course, but I was very tired. I'd
[08:14] course, but I was very tired. I'd get home from work, lie down, get home from work, lie down, put on the video, and just listen to him talking and taking notes, lying there, because I had no
[08:26] strength left. If I made an audio call with someone, they'd say: "Wow, you don't look well." It wasn't a physical exhaustion, it was a soulful one. soulful one. And then I did the mini-course, I did the course, and I
[08:39] said: "Lord, Jair has something different, he doesn't talk about money, because I had gone to see
[08:53] he said: "Wow, if you think you can't have money, you have to have money, you want it." And for me, that was something. The money was taking a lot, right? Because I never had a
[09:05] family that had a lot, so I thought I couldn't have it. I said: "I don't want this car , I'll stick with , I'll stick with Jair's." And then I finished the mini-
[09:17] course. I said: "I have to start."   " If I don't hit the road, I 'll never get a client." Then, in accounting, I went to visit a client. And I said, "Sir, I want the worst person, the one with the worst
[09:33] problems, and that's you, Jair."  You will introduce me to the client I will begin working with now.  I trust in the Lord because before I met Jair, I had first spoken with the Lord.  So I went to this
[09:46] client and said, "Oh, I'm a therapist, I want to do an internship."  I finished my course and I need an internship.  Don't you know anyone?  And since it was an NGO that worked with people struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction, you see, we tend to
[10:03] alcoholism and drug addiction, you see, we tend to draw on our own pain, right?  Then the young woman draw on our own pain, right?  Then the young woman said: "Wow, I have someone here who has fibromyalgia, she's in deep depression, she had two
[10:16] bariatric surgeries, and gained weight again."  I said, "This is the one I want because I'm going to help."  Because Jair conveyed a great deal of help."  Because Jair conveyed a great deal of certainty, right?  I completed
[10:29] my process earlier and was assisted. Then I said, "No, I threw my money away, I can't away, I can't believe it. I can't believe I'm
[10:47] working while praying the
[11:10] halfway there I looked at the clock, it was 8:05, I had to arrive at 7. Then I said, "Wow, 8:05, I'm not having an subconscious took me back to that exact day my father woke up at 3
[11:26] a.m., and that's where all my pain began, right?  all my pain.  I arrived right?  all my pain.  I arrived late, but it didn't bother me.  I arrived with authority.  I would arrive early, make coffee for everyone, and nobody appreciated
[11:41] my work.  From that day on, I said, I don't make coffee for anyone. Today I am being served.  A young man came in, and he still makes coffee to this day, bringing it makes coffee to this day, bringing it to my desk.  And then, uh, I started
[11:56] woman, and I got sick.  It was right in December, I had reprocessing, I was starting to see patients again, I got
[12:08] see patients again, I got sick and went to the doctor.  The doctor said, "Look, I'll give you five days off for Christmas when we were going to work. What was think? They'll think I'm making up an excuse not to go to
[12:22] work. They'll fire me." I called my boss, I'm sick, I won't be working these five days.  And I didn't even realize it I can't believe I said that to my boss."  And it was right around that time of the
[12:37] pandemic, I caught a really bad cough, the cough wouldn't go away.  I understand that it's like Jair says, when we finish the course, when we finish our treatment, it seems like our subconscious pulls up all that
[12:51] trauma we had, rubs it in our face and says: "Do you want to continue like this?"  Everything I was afraid of came crashing down on me after I finished.  And I called my boss and said, "I'm not going to work because I'm not feeling well. Oh,
[13:06] okay, you can stay home."   I went back .  When I arrived, there was a very, you know, one of those strict people.  And I joined in cheering during a time of pandemic.  She looked at me and said, "You're still drunk and you came to
[13:24] work?" She said that and went inside the bathroom.  I walked into my boss's office and said, "I spent the whole night rooting for this , I'm here to work. I
[13:39] won't tolerate people taking my space."  And he listened to what she had said.  If that person comes to say anything else, I will not be responsible for my actions. I went and sat down.  When I sat down in the chair, I said, "Wow, I can't
[13:54] believe I did that! I was acting unconsciously, but with some unconsciously, but with some clean drawers, with the TRG (Transformational Rehabilitation Therapy), it cleared everything that was like trauma, it threw me back to my past, and there I had the opportunity to
[14:08] do things differently because I had been empowered. I said, 'I can't believe it.' Then at my desk I did: 'Yes, it didn't hurt, it didn't hurt.' From that day on, I started to realize that my life was changing from that of a child who had
[14:23] a limiting belief. If I had R$ 100 in my pocket and I wanted to buy a snack, I wouldn't buy it because I was afraid that tomorrow I wouldn't have anything to eat. I went hungry a lot. At home, I didn't replace the furniture
[14:37] because I thought I couldn't spend money if I went hungry tomorrow. Then I called my husband and said, 'Look, we need to replace the table in my house.' He said, 'Oh, then let's go to the mall to buy it.' So I got there...  I was
[14:50] a table." She brought me everything table." She brought me everything that old Cida believed in. A table that old Cida believed in. A table , you know, to break the next
[15:04] day. I looked at her and said, "Miss, I want a table." Then she said, "Oh, okay." Then she showed me the table I wanted, and I bought it, man. Then I went to work, and I said, "Wow, all this unconsciously."
[15:19] I said, "Guys, I need a wardrobe." Wardrobe? I had gotten the woman's WhatsApp. I said, "Miss, I need a wardrobe." Then she showed me a wardrobe there. One of those wardrobes you buy one day, and it
[15:31] understand, do you?"  "I want a wardrobe." I started using my wardrobe." I started using my psychology and started, you know, negotiating with her. wanted. I said, "Look, I just bought a table over there."  Then the wardrobe,
[15:46] how much did she say? "Oh, it's R$ 13,000."  I said, "13? Oh, let's talk. I bought the table, now let's negotiate. You can give me a discount on that wardrobe, right?"  She said, "Sure, I will ."  I bought the
[16:01] wardrobe.  Then I stopped and said, "Guys, I'm in debt. I used to be afraid to even buy a chicken croquette, I didn't take on debt, I didn't make installment payments. I thought, ' debt, I didn't make installment payments. I thought, ' Something's wrong here.' Then I started
[16:14] saying, 'Wow, therapy has worked, and it's acting in such a natural way that I haven't changed who I was, but I've changed what I believed.' Then, not satisfied, and attending to the
[16:30] woman, I said, 'No, I need to attend to her.'"  She doesn't know what course I took; she's the first.  I'm the only one who controls the process, so I don't have to be afraid of process, so I don't have to be afraid of it.  Then yes, I will assist her.  She
[16:43] came from a completely broken home, with a father who was also an alcoholic.  So I also attracted my fears and difficulties so that I could understand that there were people who understand that there were people who lived like me.  And this girl, she was
[16:57] depressed and nobody knew her in the neighborhood.  It evolved and one day it was neighborhood.  It evolved and one day it was working, okay?  Even in a mentorship program.  After I received the service, I went to participate in the mentoring program.  I was so happy because it
[17:10] brought me results.  And then I told Jair results.  And then I told Jair that day during the mentoring session: "Jair, today I feel like a Jair in a skirt, because today I know what it means to be a therapist." That
[17:24] day she had really boosted my ego. Then, when I empowered myself, I said I wanted to buy, you know, a property, a plot of land to build a property. But I empowered myself and left it
[17:39] there. Then I said: "Wow, I need this, I need to buy a plot of land." I told my husband, we need to buy a plot of land, right? And he said: "How, woman?"  We don't have the money for that, do we?  Fali: "Oh, it's okay,
[17:53] see, it won't kill anyone."  Then I arranged to see a plot of land, and I wanted another plot in Guararema, a city in São Paulo. Then a friend of mine called and said, "Look, there's a plot of land for sale here in the gated community ."  I said, "No, but I
[18:09] made an appointment with someone to see if 1000 m is more or less 70,000, right, to buy on credit. Oh, here it's 20,000 m."  I said, "Sir, are you crazy? If R$1,000, that 1,000
[18:21] "Sir, are you crazy? If R$1,000, that 1,000 m² is 70, imagine 20,000 m². I started believing it. I got there, we divided the land, one person bought 10,000 m², I bought 10,000 m². But, well, I
[18:38] believed I could have that land. The owner of the land had refused 240,000. He came and said, "I'll sell it to you, you give me 50,000 as a down payment and I'll pay the rest in installments of
[18:52] 750 per month indefinitely."  I said, "The land is mine."  But I believed.  In less than 6 months, this man called and said, "Look, I'm going to
[19:06] sell, if you each give me 32,000 and a half, I'll sell the land, we'll pay off this land." So, in less than 6 months, I had a debt of 200,000 for a child who wouldn't eat a chicken croquette, who
[19:22] was afraid of losing his job and didn't have the courage to buy a gate because he thought he couldn't afford it. After I did the therapy, in less than 6 months, I paid off a debt of 200,000,
[19:41] believing that I could change my life. And today I've already changed lives, right? No, I believe that God knows that we are only channels of God's grace, like Jair, he is a sinful man, full of flaws, but He gave him the opportunity to be a
[19:56] channel of grace. And on that day, God united my soul with his soul, because God knew my desire to be a psychologist, but He knew that at that moment I wouldn't be able to afford it.  I went to college for
[20:12] psychology. I had the money to pay for an accounting degree, a degree in accounting sciences, right? But for psychology, which was my dream, I didn't have the money because I did n't think I deserved it. So I went to the college
[20:26] my boss wanted, not the college I wanted. Hi. How do you feel today? How do I feel today? I feel like a person whose lives I transform, and every day
[20:38] I transform my own life because I continue to do therapy through the pain of others. Because I tell my clients, here we are exchanging experiences, I transform you and you transform me with your pain. So I value
[20:54] my past and I say to all my clients and to myself, my past is my history, but it's not my pain. And happy people make other people happy, because I need to seek a happiness that's within me. If I
[21:09] don't believe in that, every day of my life I can't transform your life. So we are energy. The energy that is in me meets your energy and we make a difference and we make a better world. And that's what...
[21:25] Jair looked at me in his eyes. He would say to 6-year-old Cida, "What would I say to 6-year-old Cida? Thank you so much for waking up that
[21:39] day with your father, because if it weren't for that day, I wouldn't have met weren't for that day, I wouldn't have met Jair, because Jair gave me exactly what my father couldn't give me that day: the
[21:55] hope of a better story." [Music] [Music] And today I am proud of my father, because I am the only daughter who went to
[22:08] college. I am the only daughter who didn't fall into a compulsion and a repetition of the pain of living his story, of being an alcoholic, you understand? Because since I was little I
[22:24] understood that my father only gave me what he had. he had. So, that child wanted to study So, that child wanted to study psychology to heal her father's pain, right?
[22:37] And today I haven't seen anyone from my family because I respect their space, you understand? Because I think everyone has their own time. And it's so much so that if you come to me for therapy
[22:53] and you say, "I want to stop," I say, "Go." It's not your time. When you have the right time...  Your moment, I'm here to welcome you. Because I understood this when I looked into Jair's wide eyes
[23:08] and I understood that this was my moment to reclaim my story of pain and transform that story into a story of
[23:21] achievements. I wouldn't throw away any moment of that childhood. On the contrary, I'm proud to have had that had that juice with bread without butter. I'm
[23:35] proud because through that juice with bread, today I can understand my client who has their pain from the depression I went through, which many times, because of that, I looked into a person's eyes seeking someone to
[23:50] listen to me and people turned their backs on me. I understood that that day was necessary because today I hold onto my client's gaze and I don't leave them without
[24:02] hope of me listening to them. So, everything I went through was necessary for me to I went through was necessary for me to become the therapist I am today. I 'm not a therapist by choice, I'm a
[24:18] therapist by choice, I'm a therapist by God's grace and choice. So, I don't just do therapy of the flesh, because we are a triad: mind, body, and spirit. So,
[24:34] I seek satisfaction in my client. Internally. So, if he's not ready, Internally. So, if he's not ready, I let him go. And I learned that from Master Jair. Don't feel guilty. One day he'll come back, you understand? And I
[24:50] wait like the father of the prodigal son, with open arms. And he comes back simply because I believe, right? So that's my story. I wouldn't change anything about my story. I wouldn't change anything about little 6-year-old Cida. On the contrary,
[25:05] I look at her today and I'm grateful because she taught me to be an grateful because she taught me to be an extremely humane therapist.