[0:00] Now the advantage to being agreeable then is that you're good in teams and you're
[0:03] very much likely to give other people credit. The downside of being agreeable is that
[0:07] you're not very good at putting forward your own interests. And so one of the
[0:11] things that predicts salary across time, for example, is agreeableness and it predicts it negatively.
[0:16] And so it's part of the reason why women get paid less than men. And
[0:19] this is something for the women in the class to really listen to. Because how
[0:25] you get paid across time depends on a very large number of things, right? It
[0:28] depends on your... How you get paid across time depends on a very large number
[0:31] of things, right? It depends on your skills and your abilities and your position and
[0:35] your social network and all of that. But the other thing it depends on is
[0:38] whether or not you actually go ask for money. Or maybe that you don't even
[0:41] ask. Because actually you don't ask for money. You tell people that you need to
[0:45] be paid more or something they don't like will happen. And I don't mean as
[0:49] a threat. I mean that you have to be willing, when you're negotiating, to have
[0:54] an alternative. You go talk to your boss who isn't going to give you money
[0:57] because everyone wants money, right? It's a competitive game. Who isn't going to give you
[1:00] money because everyone wants money, right? It's a competitive game. You're going to have to
[1:04] be, you're going to have to go there and say, look, here's what I do.
[1:08] Here's why it's useful. Here's why you have to give me more money. And this
[1:12] is my opportunities if you don't. And then you're not taking your boss's money anyways
[1:17] because it's very seldom, very frequently the case that he's working for a whopping big
[1:21] company. But he needs an excuse to give you money because everyone's asking for money
[1:26] all the time. And so you have to put your case forward powerfully. the time.
[1:31] And so you have to put your case forward powerfully and disagreeably. Now, you don't
[1:37] want to do it too disagreeably, because then he's going to think that you're a
[1:40] son of a bitch, and maybe he's not going to give you anything, and maybe
[1:42] you'll get fired for being mouthy and all of that. And that certainly happens to
[1:46] people who are too disagreeable. You've got to get the balance right, but it's definitely
[1:50] the case. And the other thing that happens to women that's also worth noting, and
[1:53] this is probably because they're higher in negative emotion, is they tend to underestimate their
[1:58] own utility in business settings, right? Because if you're trying to evaluate
[2:05] what you're like and you're more tilted towards negative emotion, then the things that you
[2:10] do that are wrong are going to stand out more on the foreground than the
[2:14] things that you do that are right. So if you go into a negotiation and
[2:17] you're uncertain already because you have self -doubts and then you're agreeable in the negotiation,
[2:22] what's going to happen is that you're not going to win as often. And winning
[2:27] in a business setting or in a career development setting means more opportunity for promotion.
[2:32] setting or in a career development setting means more opportunity for promotion and more revenue
[2:37] generated. Now the downside of that of course is as you climb the business hierarchy
[2:41] is that you also have to take on more responsibility and that responsibility is sometimes
[2:46] unpleasant as well especially to people who are agreeable because you're not necessarily liked if
[2:51] you're in a position of authority and agreeable people really like to be liked. It's
[2:55] their primary motive motivator because they're concerned about the maintenance I would say of
[3:00] intimate positive relationships.
[3:07] and that also makes them conflict avoidant.