[00:02] lecture, or work meeting, and the person in charge or the manager asks a question? You know the answer, but the moment you think about raising your hand to participate or answer, a voice inside you tells you, "Don't! Everyone will be watching you. Your nervousness will overwhelm you, and it will show in your voice and body language. When
[00:18] they see or sense this, they will start secretly laughing at you, even if they don't show it." You find yourself frozen, watching to see who is more confident and daring than you, the one who will raise their hand. And then someone does, receiving all the applause and attention in
[00:33] the room. While you're applauding along with everyone else, a feeling of regret is eating you up, and one phrase is regret is eating you up, and one phrase is dominating your entire mind: "I'm not confident." So, if you truly feel that you are completely insecure, then congratulations, you've clicked on the
[00:47] right video because in this episode, I'll tell you three things, specifically the third: if  If you apply them, you will be shocked by your self-confidence afterward, and everyone will look at you and wish they had a quarter of your confidence. So continue this episode until the end. The important question is, have you asked yourself why you are not confident in yourself?  In the name of God,
[01:04] the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Good evening, friends. Our Lord, judge between us and our people with truth, for You are the best of judges. Welcome to a new episode of your program. I was thinking about the people who keep saying, "What happened to the detective program? What's up, Shehab? You haven't released episodes of the detective program. Was it canceled or what?"
[01:17] No, guys, it's not canceled, but the idea is that producing the detective episodes themselves has become more difficult. It now involves real-life experiments, people we conduct on, or even myself. The ideas are taken a bit out of the box,
[01:31] so the execution is harder, and naturally, there are fewer episodes. But God willing, a new episode will be released soon. Keep an eye on the channel; it will be released in the next couple of days, not sooner. And this episode is really great and completely different. Anyway,
[01:44] today I want to talk to you about one of the issues that represents a huge problem for people, especially for my followers. Honestly, guys, if I told you how many comments and messages I get every day, I mean, I get
[01:59] messages from dozens of people and a million comments written on every episode I've had in mind, and it's always the comment everyone wants.  He's talking about self-confidence. Honestly, guys, I get really difficult messages from young people whose mental state is
[02:14] are truly hurtful. I have absolutely no self- confidence, starting with my appearance, my body shape, and my features. I don't think my skin tone is the best, my hair isn't the best, my nose, the pimples on my face, and the small scars or blemishes on my face make me feel self-conscious. I
[02:28] hate my body shape and height. Now let's talk about my personality and what happens to me. I'm always afraid to raise my hand, afraid to participate or answer, even if I know the answer. I'm afraid to speak because I don't like my voice. If I speak, anxiety and tension creep in,
[02:42] so people will laugh, even if they're secretly laughing and not showing it. I'm very sensitive, and I know I'll sense it. And the issue isn't... But it's limited to these two points. I can be with my friends, and when I try to talk or participate in the conversation, they ignore me as if I don't
[02:57] exist. When I try to joke, no one laughs at what I say. And then there's the way everyone treats me; all they ever say is, " You're too young." Plus, there are a few embarrassing situations that have happened to me that have shocked me. All of this has affected me and made my self-confidence plummet. I always feel like I'm not enough
[03:11] for myself. I always feel like a coward, weak, and vulnerable, but I don't show it to anyone. I'm fed up now. I've started to believe that I'll never have any kind of self- confidence. No matter how much I pretend to be confident, deep down I know I'm a coward, and that it's just a
[03:26] facade. So here I am, clicking on the episode you posted, hoping it might offer a solution to my problem. Right? First of all, I want to tell you  I really understand you and your feelings, especially regarding self-confidence. I might be the one who
[03:40] understands it best because of things I've been through before, difficult experiences that really affected me. That's why I want to tell you a strange but simple story that happened to us personally, and then we'll get to the point. Don't worry, I won't leave you confused. You'll come away from this video with three things that, if you
[03:54] do them, everyone will wish they had even a quarter of your self- confidence. confidence. About five months ago, I was in one of the most difficult situations of my life. I was at an event I was invited to,
[04:08] sitting alone in a room, scrolling through my phone. Then, scrolling through my phone. Then, One of them gave me a very strange reply, very quickly. He said, "We're in..."  "Disaster? What disaster?
[04:22] Who are you and what are you doing?" I was confused. Then one of them told me, " We're the organizers of this event outside." I said, "Okay, what disaster are you talking about?" He told me that a very important person who was supposed to speak at the
[04:36] event—the very first speaker, actually, and a well-known figure (his name starts with the letters 'M' and 'H'—you can guess his name in the comments below)—had something come up and couldn't make it. This person was the first speaker, the first one to address the audience,
[04:49] and if he didn't, there would be a huge problem. I said, "Okay, so what do you want me to do?" They told me, "We want you to go on stage and speak in his place. Speak in his place? You must be joking! First of all, I haven't prepared anything. Second, I'm completely unprepared to
[05:03] speak in front of an audience."  Now, please, Mr. Shehab, please save us! We're going to be in big trouble today, and this whole thing is going to cause us huge problems. I don't know what possessed me to ask that question, but I found myself asking them how many people were sitting outside in the hall. I thought maybe
[05:16] 50 or 100 people, but when it gets really crowded, it's 200. They told me there are 3,000 people in the hall outside! Oh my God, that's a huge number! Then they told me, "You haven't second surprise was, and they told me that I'm supposed to be on stage in eight minutes to talk to the
[05:30] audience. Now I'm in a difficult situation, and I have no choice but to either tell them no, to find someone else to speak instead, that it's not my problem, and of course, these people will be in trouble because everyone who came to attend paid for their tickets,
[05:43] or to agree.  And I spoke after eight minutes in front of 3000 people, and I took one of the biggest adventures I could ever take in my life. Guys, I'll tell you exactly what happened. While I was standing with them, I found myself with my tongue moving. I really don't
[05:57] know how I spoke, and I told them, "Okay, I'm going on stage." Of course, if you're watching now and you call me stupid, I wouldn't blame you at all because this is a situation that only a crazy person would do. I mean, the whole thing is terrifying. You're going to speak in front of 3000 people and you don't even know what you're going to talk about.
[06:10] Anyway, all I was feeling at that moment was my heart pounding, pounding, pounding, pounding, pounding. My heart was going to stop from the excitement. And the people who know me know that when I get nervous, my stomach hurts a lot. My stomach was about to burst from all the nervousness, and I was racking my brain, not knowing how to focus.
[06:24] Focus, what should I talk about?  What was I supposed to talk to these people about? I didn't even know how old most of them were, what they were interested in, or what they wanted me to talk about. Lost in a whirlwind of thoughts, one of them came in and took a seat backstage—the area before you go on stage. I heard a
[06:38] voice next to me say, "Mr. Shehab, you'll be on stage in less than five minutes." The sound of the crowd was terrifying, and I was so nervous I was about to collapse. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what to say. While I was thinking about this, the person who was setting up my microphone was still working on it. I was completely
[06:53] thinking about this, the person who was setting up my microphone was still working on it. I was completely I still remember the whole thing to this day—the girl who came in to introduce me started telling them what to say. The suspense was building because I was going in, and then, right in the middle of her talking, someone's voice came right next to my
[07:06] ear: "Mr. Shehab, you'll be on stage in 60 seconds!" I knew it was like, "You've got me suffocated!"  The tension completely overwhelmed me, to the point where I was thinking of telling them, "Guys, I'm just going to the bathroom and I'll be right back." I was actually going to run away. My heart was pounding and my legs were
[07:20] shaking. Amidst all this, I heard the sentence I'd been dreading. The girl grabbed the microphone and said, "Now we have the influencer who's very close to the youth, the influencer who's very close to the youth, the amazing content creator Shehab Mahmoud, and the
[07:34] whole stage is at peace." Exactly two years later, the applause was deafening, and the world was completely silent. I was standing at the backstage door, wondering whether to go in or not. My heart was literally going to burst out of my chest; I could hear it pounding. My
[07:47] two options: run away and not speak in front of everyone, or take just one step forward and I'd be in front of 3,000 people. Before I knew it, I was taking the step, my knew it, I was taking the step, my legs shaking. I looked up, and the sight  It's
[08:02] terrifying how many people there are, and I never expected to do what you're about to hear in front of so many people. But so I don't keep dying over the story and so the episode doesn't get too long, I'll tell you exactly what happened in the middle or at the end of the episode. But the important question for me
[08:15] now is, is what I did a kind of self-confidence?  You'll tell me, "Of course, guys, that's the height of self-confidence! Just agreeing is confidence in itself!" But I'm telling you, I'm afraid to raise my hand in front of 30 or 40 people in my group, even if I know the answer. I just don't have the
[08:29] confidence to raise my hand and answer. Like, Shehab, sometimes I take public transport and I don't have change, or I buy something from someone and I'm owed change, and it's a small amount, and the person in front of me might forget to give it to me. I don't even ask for it because
[08:43] I'm so insecure. First of all, like I said, I understand your feelings and I really empathize with you. But before I can tell you the solution, I want to ask you a question: Is self-confidence something physical or genetic that we're born with, or is it something we acquire over time and
[08:56] through experiences? You'll say, "I think, Shehab, that it's something we acquire over time and through experiences." Because confidence isn't a specific organ or gene in our bodies, bravo! Self-confidence is something we acquire, just like all the other qualities in the world. Generosity is an acquired trait, stinginess is an acquired trait,
[09:10] respect is an acquired trait, and rudeness is also an acquired trait. So, since self-confidence is an acquired trait and not something we're born with, then relax, be reassured, and say, "Thank God, the problem has a solution, and we can do it." This isn't, God forbid, a birth defect or a physical disability. No, it's something
[09:25] you can acquire. But the key is knowing how to acquire it. First, what is your definition of self-confidence? You have to ask yourself this question before you start trying to solve it because many young people are aware of the completely wrong trap. Many young people are aware that they think that fighting
[09:39] and bullying are types of self-confidence, or that bullying someone or being arrogant and condescending towards people is. All of this, of course...  That's completely wrong. On the contrary, I want you to emphasize this sentence: The person who constantly tries to belittle others and shake their self-confidence is
[09:53] actually someone who lacks self-confidence and does this to hide their lack of self- confidence, which they call "fake confidence," but they take it in a negative way. I mean, I actually take it in a negative way. I mean, I actually
[10:09] you why later. The important thing is that self-confidence is not what we talked about at all. So what is self-confidence? I want you to focus with me. Self-confidence, in short, is the ability to change your reality by utilizing all the tools and achieving a result that is in
[10:22] line with your initial expectations. What does this mean?  It means changing the reality you live in, whether it's work, studies, your mental state, or anything else in life in general, by learning how to use the tools God has given you and benefit from them to the fullest extent.
[10:35] These tools don't have to be something tangible; for example, they could be something like patience. You have to be patient with yourself when you make mistakes so that next time you'll do it right. If you don't do it right the next time, you'll do it the next time, because you have nothing else to do but do the right thing. Now, after God blesses you and you learn to see your tools
[10:49] and use them correctly, you start to make the biggest change in your reality, and this change should be in line with the expectations you set from the beginning. So, your expectations must be based on the tools God has given you at the moment. And if God gives you more than you expected, that's a blessing
[11:03] from God. And if you say, "Praise be to God," that's also a blessing from God. First, so that we know how to solve problems. The problem is, first we need to understand the root cause. Unfortunately, low self-confidence is often a result of Unfortunately, low self-confidence is often a result of
[11:18] or even strangers: "Look at how much they have, look at what they've done, look at what they've achieved." When this happens repeatedly, it creates a self-perception that tells you, "You're not enough, you're not enough," despite your accomplishments. Besides comparisons, you might have experienced a traumatic event, like being bullied or severely
[11:31] Besides comparisons, you might have experienced a traumatic event, like being bullied or severely beaten as a child. All of this can contribute to low self- childhood experiences, you might also have encountered situations later in life that have led to this lack of
[11:45] confidence. Okay, guys, I understand what you're saying. Let's address this issue because I'm genuinely tired of this lack of self-confidence.  The solution I'm about to tell you can be summarized in three points, and believe me, if you implement these three points, your self-
[11:58] confidence will increase to an unimaginable degree. The first point, to start building your self-confidence, might seem strange to some: stop being afraid of your fear. Stop being afraid of being afraid. Many young people think that a confident person does n't have any kind of
[12:13] fear, or that they aren't afraid of the things they're confident in. This is wrong. No human being is without fear when doing any of the things that scare us all. No human being is without fear when taking any step in life. I
[12:26] told you earlier that all traits are acquired: generosity, stinginess, and respect—all these are acquired traits except for one trait that we are born with. What is this trait? Fear. And that's why you find that God Almighty...  And God Almighty says, “In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, that man was created fearful.” Meaning,
[12:41] man is created fearful. If evil befalls him, he is impatient. Oh my God, my future will be lost! I am ruined! My self-confidence will be gone! What should I do? I don’t know what to do. And if good befalls him, he is fearful. Meaning, the day God blesses him and sends him good fortune, he is afraid. Oh my God, it will be lost to him. Except for whom?  Except for those who pray,
[12:56] this point is very, very important. The foundation for reducing your fear is prayer, drawing closer to God. If you're close to God, and this is the spiritual aspect, and you're very good at it, then you can start to learn how to reduce your fear in a logical way. There's no such thing as " I'm not afraid," but there is such a thing as
[13:11] taking the step while acknowledging your fear and accepting it, not being bothered by it and trying to push it away. The mistake that most people who lack self-confidence make is that when they're about to do something and they're afraid and unsure of themselves, they start telling themselves, "Don't be afraid, we don't know
[13:24] what to do, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, what is this, don't be afraid, this is n't normal, no human being is without fear." So what should you do? This will actually have the opposite effect if you do it and apply it. You need to acknowledge your fear, admit that you're afraid and that the situation you're about to face is indeed frightening,
[13:37] but you take the step while you're afraid. Learn that you Befriend your fear. Don't be afraid of mistakes. Don't be afraid to try. Don't make mistakes, man. I mean, let me imagine with you the worst-case scenario that could happen. The thing wrong. What could happen? You won't die. I think you won't die. So, the matter does
[13:53] n't warrant this terrible fear that makes you afraid to take the step or afraid to make a mistake. No, really, the teacher is asking a question. Raise your hand and try to answer. You answered wrong. Okay, thank God, it's wrong. I'll fix it next time. Life doesn't stop. So,
[14:06] the summary of the first point is that you shouldn't suppress your fear. You should learn to befriend your fear and gradually reduce it. So, how do I reduce my fear? That's what I'll explain to you now in the second point. The second point is experimentation and learning, and I'll add the word "
[14:19] observation." What does this mean? Let's assume now that you have a lack of  It's incredibly self-confidence to go out and speak in front of people. You might be afraid to ask the driver for change when paying the fare, or you might feel shy. To increase your confidence in these situations, the solution is to try it. Do
[14:33] n't judge yourself as lacking confidence if you have n't even tried it yet. This experience will have one of two outcomes: either you'll do it correctly, and thank God, your confidence will increase; or you'll do it incorrectly, and then you'll need to
[14:46] learn from your mistake. When you look at it from this perspective, your confidence will increase. You'll accept that you made a mistake, so what's the big deal? I'll go back and fix it, try it again, learn from it, and identify where I went wrong. And believe me, the next time you try it, you'll go with even more confidence.
[15:01] forget about it. If you try it, you'll find, "Oh my God, was I making such a big deal out of it? Was I really that much of a big deal? I was my change, but when I tried it, he gave it to me normally, and it wasn't the end of the world!" "Oh my God, was
[15:13] I really making such a big deal out of it? I was afraid to even raise my hand to get an answer, but when I gave the wrong answer once, everything worked out normally, and it was worked out normally, and it was
[15:34] go through every experience yourself. There are people around you who have experienced or gone through the same browsing the internet, in riggles, or on the podcasts you listen to, and they're sharing their stories. Difficult experiences they went through... It's not at all smart for someone to talk about how
[15:49] difficult it was for them the first time and how they did it wrong, and then try to do it the same way. Instead, observe what those around you are doing. Observe the experiences in the videos and podcasts you listen to. What was that person's experience, and what was the
[16:01] result? Here, you've literally learned a lesson worth millions for free. For example, there are global companies that achieve huge profits because they avoided a huge mistake, learned from it, and observed the results of a company that went bankrupt before them. So, observing, following the experiences of those
[16:15] around you, understanding them, benefiting from them, and studying them is very important. The third point, which is considered the most important point, and if you do it, it will make a huge difference in your life, is flexibility. Let's talk about this point a little. Flexibility is very important, and you see and admire any confident person.
[16:30] He's always learned to be flexible, first and foremost with his psychological state and the events that happen. Because, as we know, life isn't always rosy, and what I told you at the beginning is very easy to say—the words are easy, but the feeling itself and the
[16:44] action are difficult. So the idea is to have flexibility, or as they say in Egyptian Arabic, to have a sporting spirit, to have the flexibility to adapt to your difficult circumstances now and try to overcome them with out-of-the-box thinking. This is very important; having the
[16:57] flexibility to break free from your negative thinking patterns. Let's take, for example, the story of a successful person you might know. Let's take Mohamed Salah as an example. Mohamed Salah started his career at Al Mokawloon Al Arab, then he started to go to Basel Suez, and then he started to go to
[17:11] Chelsea, even higher teams. But when he went to Chelsea, what happened? He didn't play a single match. Literally, they kept him on the bench more than he went home. So what made Mohamed  Salah is an exceptional player, and the professionalism and impressive performances we see him in now stem from his
[17:24] resilience. This is what distinguishes one player from another. Other players would have given up, wouldn't play, and their teams would have treated them as if they didn't exist. Furthermore, the team that signed him afterward was in the English league, which is considered the strongest league in the world. For most players, it would have been a complete breakdown of their careers. They might have thought, "I've turned professional, it's over, and
[17:42] this situation. I'll just move on and see what the future holds." But Mohamed Salah possessed the resilience to go to Roma in the Italian league and try to play his best. He would train hard and reach his highest level.
[17:57] When he did this and worked on himself with this mentality, Mohamed Salah went to Liverpool and became the Mohamed Salah we are so proud of today. Now, apply this principle to any successful person, any successful person in general.  A confident person must be flexible, especially when dealing with
[18:10] negative thoughts. They need to know how to break free from those negative thinking patterns and place themselves in a positive mindset. Flexibility means taking mistakes with a sporting spirit: "It's okay, I made a mistake, I'll learn from it and try again. I made another mistake, I'll learn from it and try a third time, and so on." They have the flexibility to keep trying. Flexibility also means
[18:23] not confining yourself to a specific idea. When you start labeling yourself, you'll automatically find yourself doing that. For example, "I'm afraid to give presentations, I'm afraid to speak in front of people." Once you label yourself that way, you'll automatically find yourself
[18:39] afraid to give presentations or speak in front of people. For example, I'm an Ahly fan, and I don't talk to any Zamalek fans or engage in conversation with them to learn anything. How do they think? A Zamalek fan thinks the complete opposite. So what's the big deal? A
[18:52] Zamalek fan...  This could teach me so many things that I, as an Ahly fan, don't Zamalek, but the idea of ​​flexibility is about accepting differences, accepting mistakes, accepting everything, and taking it all in stride with a
[19:06] sporting spirit and dealing with it calmly. Deal calmly and steadily with all the difficult and bad situations you might encounter, whether you're the cause or someone else is. Then, with complete flexibility, start to get
[19:18] positive mindset. Adapt to the situation you're in and try to get yourself out of it. Most people who own unicorn or million-dollar companies started something, lost money, and even went into debt. million-dollar companies started something, lost money, and even went into debt.
[19:31] break free from the negative thinking patterns of their situation allowed them to open another company, and this second company became much bigger than the first. The fourth thing—and I intentionally put it as number four because if you do it, it will increase the number of things.  Your self-confidence is largely tied to your appearance, your clothes, and
[19:45] your body. Let's be very straightforward. If you're someone who doesn't care about your body and does n't exercise, and you feel that you're overweight or chubby, you'll naturally have a kind of lack of self-confidence in that area. Don't try to convince me otherwise; no matter how confident you are, this is a
[19:59] weakness. So, when you're someone who exercises, cares about your health, and cares about your body shape, and when you look in the mirror you're happy with your appearance, and you care about your clothes and your overall look, then people will get the impression that you're confident. And subconsciously, you're already getting the impression that you're
[20:13] the impression that you're confident. And subconsciously, you're already getting the impression that you're will increase. So, take care of your appearance, your clothes, your health, and your body—this is the most important thing. Believe me, if you exercise or go to the gym and start to see a real difference in your body, you'll see a significant improvement.  It's
[20:28] perfectly natural that it will increase your self-confidence. You'll feel stronger, more confident, and your walk will feel more confident and commanding. So, if you do the four things I mentioned in this episode and manage to implement them correctly, believe me, your self-confidence will increase beyond
[20:42] your imagination. I swear to God, I'm speaking from experience. Try it, don't be afraid. Why shouldn't you be afraid? Embrace your fear and take the step, even if you're trembling. Take the step, even if you make a mistake. What's the harm? The world won't end. If something goes wrong, we'll learn from it. And like I said, whether it goes right or wrong, your
[20:56] self-confidence will increase in both cases because you tried. Don't keep shutting yourself off and saying, "I won't try because I lack self-confidence. I don't know how to speak up in front of people. I don't know how to stand up for myself against someone who bullies me. I don't know how to speak up and stand up for myself. Generally, I'm afraid to
[21:10] raise my hand in class or a lecture to answer a question."  I know the answer, so why don't you try it? Why don't you try it, my friend? And remember, the more you try, the more your self-confidence will increase, and your fear will start to decrease because repetition builds self-confidence. Take someone like that, for example, a telesalesman—the kind of
[21:23] starts selling to people. If you get that person for their first call, they'll tell you, "I was terrified when I was talking to the customer." Why are you a telesalesman? Take a content creator like that and ask them, "What did you feel when you made your first video?" I swear to God, my first video
[21:38] was so low in confidence that I edited it about 29 times. The video was only 48 seconds long after editing. I spent about six hours filming it. Now, three years have passed. Is today the same as the first day I made a video? Of course not. Right
[21:52] now, I'll turn on the camera, write a script or some points I'll talk about, and then go on the phone to talk to...  My friend, the whole thing became easy for me because I tried it. But before my first video, I was terrified, so scared I thought I wouldn't even create content. What happened was that
[22:06] when I started filming a lot, it became much more normal for me. My fear of being in front of the camera was significantly less. That's exactly what self- confidence is, and that was exactly what I expected from the
[22:19] beginning. Before the episode ends, I want to talk to you about a very important point: the idea of ​​pretending to be confident. Many people misunderstand it and start to become arrogant or treat people badly, thinking they're
[22:33] confident when they're actually just being themselves. You can use it correctly in certain situations, but only for that specific moment. I won't repeat this again. Pretend that...  I'm confident in myself in this aspect, but this situation won't
[22:45] happen again. For example, if I'm going to apply to a very large company and I have a very difficult interview with HR, this interview will only happen once, and based on it, I'll either be accepted or rejected. Here in Cabanio, you should feign
[22:58] as much self-confidence as possible to get the job. But if you're put in a situation that will be repeated every day, and you start to feign self-confidence in it, one day the act will end, and the balloon will burst. What will happen is a shock, and you'll find yourself experiencing a terrifying lack of self-confidence. The self-
[23:12] confidence you were pretending to have, which was very high, will start to plummet. So, we do n't pretend to be confident. And the strive for; confidence is a result.  Or the result, not the goal, and how will we reach this result? We'll try. But
[23:28] before I end the episode, I want to tell you what happened in the difficult situation I was in, standing in front of 3000 people without preparing anything. The truth is, I didn't run away; I stood up and faced it. But the solution I discovered while on stage wasn't telling myself, "Don't be afraid, Shehab, don't be afraid, don't be afraid,
[23:41] hold on, be strong." I don't know what the solution was. It was that I was flexible. As soon as I started, I grabbed the microphone and spoke. I told the people honestly, " Forgive me," and I felt that way about any kind of nervousness on my part. I presented it to them in a pleasant way, making them feel like I was really one of their friends. After that, I started
[23:54] talking to them, finding out what their interests were, or gauging their feelings, what they wanted me to talk about. As soon as I grasped the situation, I started talking to them as if I were just a regular friend. Consequently, I was close to them in the speech or conversation because I talked about what they...  They
[24:07] wanted me to talk about it, and my talk that day won the best talk award at the event. So the point here wasn't to keep telling myself not to be afraid, the point here was that I was flexible, I knew how to adapt to the situation I was in, and I tried to do my best, and the result was that it was the
[24:22] best talk at the event. Try it, and the experience will reduce your fear. Don't be afraid, and as usual, don't forget to will reduce your fear. Don't be afraid, and as usual, don't forget to share. Ah.