[0:03] Oh, that's how fast I was going. It is a
[0:06] smooth car.
[0:07] >> It is.
[0:07] >> Yeah.
[0:08] >> You You don't notice.
[0:21] >> YEAH.
[0:23] MY name is William Saber.
[0:31] I WEAR A BANDANA everywhere I go. I GOT
[0:35] A BACK TATTOO that says YOUR MOM. MY
[0:41] FAVORITE DRINK IS DR. Pepper and Uo.
[0:47] I GOT BANNED FROM PHILADELPHIA City Hall
[0:50] after trying to get to the top of the
[0:53] roof to jerk off William PENN AND I
[0:57] DRIVE A 1998
[0:59] Dodge Viper GTS.
[1:03] My middle name
[1:05] is important.
[1:12] When I was in the sixth grade, I SLEPT
[1:15] OVER AT Mike Fiman's house and he had to
[1:18] go to services the next MORNING AND THE
[1:21] CONSISTRY or whatever asked me to leave
[1:25] BECAUSE I WALKED INTO THE SYNAGOGUE like
[1:28] this.
[1:33] Guess what else I learned to do in the
[1:35] sixth grade?
[1:41] Yeah, I learned to swallow air and belch
[1:45] on command. I still do it. I'm 44. Can I
[1:50] get
[1:53] Don't click away.
[1:56] Give me extra.
[1:58] My name's
[2:00] There it is. And I don't hold my farts
[2:02] in when I have sweaty sex WITH YOUR MOM.
[2:05] THEN I PEEL OUT OF A ranch house
[2:07] driveway in my Dodge Viper. Benson and
[2:10] hedges hanging from my lips cuz I'm
[2:12] classy and nookie by Limp Biscuit on the
[2:16] stereo.
[2:21] Invite me to your wedding. I'm going to
[2:23] do this.
[2:27] I'll be out in the parking lot revving a
[2:29] Dodge Viper and doing Gravity Bong hits
[2:31] with your cousins. Today's episode of
[2:33] Regular Car Reviews is sponsored by
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[4:06] LastFit website. Thank you. We rag on
[4:09] Chrysler, Dodge, Stalantis with good
[4:12] reason. Most of what they make, Jeeps
[4:15] included, is junk. Their cars are poorly
[4:18] built unreliable gremlinaden credit
[4:22] ruining money pits. They're like a guy
[4:24] at a bowling alley who picks up a 14lb
[4:27] ball with two hands, swaggers up to the
[4:30] line, and goes, "COME
[4:37] and then chucks the alleyball down the
[4:39] lane." But every once in a while,
[4:41] William important Saber gets a strike
[4:44] and then struts like Travolta in the
[4:47] opening credits of Saturday Night Fever
[4:49] back to his Michelob Ultra. And the
[4:51] second gen Dodge Viper is an 8 L V10
[4:55] sports car making 450 horsepower at
[4:58] 5,200 RPM and 490 lb feet at 3,700 RPM.
[5:04] Uh, excuse me. My name is private equity
[5:07] Peter Merkel and I am a freshman at
[5:10] Princeton University and my M4 makes
[5:14] that. My dad golfs with Chris Christie
[5:17] and my grandpa told Baduire that he
[5:20] should probably do that thing. 450
[5:23] horsepower and 490 lb feet of torque
[5:26] sounds like nothing in 2026 when any EV
[5:30] worth its lithium has to make at least
[5:32] 1,000 horsepower to be special. But not
[5:36] all horsepowers are made equal. 1,000
[5:39] horsepower EVs or a 500 horsepower BMW
[5:43] are techladen machines that are
[5:46] permanently locked in the tutorial
[5:48] level. You can't [ __ ] up. Stability
[5:51] control, traction control, torque
[5:54] vectoring, collision mitigation,
[5:56] autofaladial lanekeeping, liza Minnelli
[5:58] hand jobs, mountable center consoles,
[6:01] vent ducks filled with dried [ __ ] You
[6:04] can't make a mistake in them. But the
[6:06] Gen 2 Viper has no assists, not even
[6:10] anti-lock brakes. You have full power
[6:14] all the time. And the only thing keeping
[6:16] this car in check is the same sense of
[6:19] self-preservation that governs your ego.
[6:22] Gen 2 Viper. Good luck, chuckle nuts.
[6:25] And this lack of safety is even funnier
[6:28] because the Gen 1 Viper didn't have
[6:31] driver's aids either. And you'd think
[6:33] that Dodge would have been like, "Oh,
[6:35] that weird experiment that the Viper is
[6:37] is actually selling and it's selling
[6:39] enough to necessitate another
[6:41] generation. Well, we better modernize
[6:44] it." But no, this is dodge. They just
[6:47] grabbed their favorite metal straw and
[6:49] went,
[6:50] "YES, WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN."
[6:55] Feeling good. Feeling a bit of warmth.
[6:57] Feeling fantastic. Here's what we're
[6:59] going to do. More bulges, more power,
[7:02] and and
[7:04] that's it. What? What? Who are you and
[7:06] what department do you what? Oh. Oh. Oh,
[7:10] fine. Okay, sure. Air conditioning.
[7:13] We'll give it air conditioning. You want
[7:15] real glass in the windows?
[7:18] Fine. But that's it, man. I'm sick of
[7:21] you guys. This thing is pretty much a
[7:24] kit car still. It just got updated
[7:27] styling, more power out of the V10, and
[7:29] that's it. 1998 Dodge Viper GTS. The
[7:33] official car of weekend warriors and
[7:34] ragtop shirts shouting no mercy as they
[7:38] plank in the middle of the freeway area.
[7:40] This car is a joy to drive. It's
[7:44] expensive.
[7:46] Does this thing drink. The funny thing
[7:47] is the Corvettes of the same year,
[7:50] especially the C5s once they came out,
[7:53] they did not get hit with the gas
[7:55] guzzler tax because Corvettes competitor
[7:58] this car sort of had very tall fifth and
[8:01] sixth gears. They could get 30 m a
[8:03] gallon if you babyed them. They were
[8:06] geared nice and nice and high at the end
[8:10] for cruising. The Viper. No. No. This
[8:15] thing is geared as if it's meant to be
[8:16] on a track, but it is so sketchy. This
[8:20] thing did get hit with the gas guzzler
[8:22] tax. Did the buyers care? No, cuz it's
[8:25] awesome. And everybody's looking at you.
[8:28] While we were filming this, there were
[8:30] people who came up and didn't even know
[8:32] what it was. There's nothing that looks
[8:34] like this. Nothing is wild. Nothing is
[8:37] eye-catching. The styling is perpetually
[8:41] aggressive, but in that weird welcoming
[8:44] way. I suppose because it lacks the
[8:46] angular fake aggressiveness that soaked
[8:51] the 201s. Oh, this is 1998. Try to find
[8:54] a right angle on the car. No. Sensual
[8:58] curves. True beauty is non-binary. the
[9:02] perfect mix of masculine and feminine
[9:04] together doing deadlifts. There are very
[9:07] few, and this is for the straight people
[9:09] out there, cars that are very fast,
[9:14] muscular, and strong
[9:17] that also attract females, and this is
[9:19] one of them. Now, on the outside, you
[9:22] get on the inside of a Viper. Oo, it's
[9:25] your shoulders are squished together,
[9:27] your feet are off to the side, it gets
[9:29] you, the windows aren't enough. You need
[9:31] to have the air conditioner on and the
[9:32] windows down. There is just heat pouring
[9:35] out of the engine. Heat pouring out of
[9:37] the transmission. You're sitting next to
[9:39] the transmission, not on top of it. You
[9:41] can't see out the sides. The hood bulges
[9:43] are up to your eyes. It's like a woman
[9:45] with big megalodons. Just all pushed up
[9:48] to the bottom of her nose trying to
[9:50] attire shoes. You don't know where the
[9:52] front of this car ends. And good luck
[9:53] trying to see out the back. But it's
[9:55] joyous. Every gear change is an
[9:58] affirmation to acceleration and the
[10:01] upcoming future. So let's get into some
[10:04] literary theory. So all right class,
[10:07] today we're going to be talking about
[10:08] objectoriented
[10:10] onthology. Objectoriented onthology.
[10:13] Write it down in your notebooks, please.
[10:16] This theory suggests that humans are not
[10:19] a privileged class. And by privileged
[10:23] class I mean not privileged at all in
[10:27] the hierarchy of all objects in the
[10:32] known universe. Humans according to
[10:34] object-oriented onthology are just
[10:38] another type of object among countless
[10:41] other objects both living and
[10:43] non-living. And we all have equal value
[10:47] because all things have a material
[10:51] reality and independent worth outside of
[10:56] human perception and use. Sort of think
[10:58] of this as like scrap prices. We are
[11:02] just the sum of the things that make us
[11:04] up. You may have a car that's just
[11:07] oozing sentimental value, but to a
[11:09] scrapper it's $350 in metal. As Rocky
[11:12] said to Grace in the Hail Mary book,
[11:15] "You are leaky space blob." It's sort of
[11:17] an answer to the question of whether or
[11:19] not a tree can fall in the woods if a
[11:22] person isn't around to hear it. Well, of
[11:24] course it can because a tree has an
[11:26] independent relationship with the world
[11:28] and its surroundings that we don't see.
[11:31] Now, it might seem weird to compare the
[11:33] two, but but the Dodge Viper is the
[11:36] Mario to the Cybert truck's Wario. And
[11:40] together they make a great case for
[11:43] objectoriented
[11:45] ontology. Both the Cybert truck and the
[11:48] Viper are the same. Both are
[11:50] uncomfortable. Both are needlessly
[11:52] expensive. Both are aggressively
[11:55] overpowered. Both are uncomfortable on
[11:58] the inside, poor visibility looking
[12:01] outside, and are completely impractical
[12:04] and expensive. And by the way, they're
[12:07] both poorly built. Even Dodge Vipers,
[12:10] yes, have body lines that don't line up
[12:13] and never will. On the one hand, these
[12:16] cars wouldn't have any use if humans
[12:19] disappeared tomorrow. But on the other
[12:20] hand, they would still have interactions
[12:24] with time and the environment and with
[12:28] the objects they contain. They will
[12:30] rust, they will degrade, and they will
[12:32] become home to squirrels and birds. So,
[12:35] a car might need humans to maintain its
[12:37] function, but not its existence. In that
[12:41] sense, the Viper and the Cybertruck
[12:43] might just be the only two cars we can
[12:45] think of that behave as if they don't
[12:48] need us. And they do this by being
[12:51] straight up hostile to the driver's
[12:53] existence. The Cybertruck doesn't care
[12:56] if you enjoy driving it, while the Viper
[12:58] doesn't care if you can even understand
[13:00] how. And yet, when faced with choosing
[13:02] between these two cars that force you to
[13:05] adapt to their independent qualities,
[13:07] who do you think I'm choosing? Come on.
[13:11] I'm picking a second gen Dodge Viper GTS
[13:15] every single time because the Viper may
[13:17] be chaotic, but I'll never not be able
[13:21] to enjoy driving it, even if the car
[13:23] never trusts me to actually do it. 1998
[13:26] Dodge Viper GTS. When I die, scatter my
[13:30] ashes on the tail of the dragon. This is
[13:32] a loud, fast, power- hungry, fuel
[13:36] thirsty car that doesn't even make sense
[13:39] on the track. And it displaces 8 L of
[13:43] American Venom.
[13:50] And when you hear it ex when you hear
[13:53] its exhaust screaming through a gated
[13:56] community of weepy snot bubbling hoa
[14:02] belly who complain anytime someone mows
[14:04] a lawn earlier than noon, you'll know
[14:07] that only one of two things has
[14:09] happened. Either your neighbor's son
[14:10] Kyle got an early parole or one of the
[14:13] neighborhood dads has had a new
[14:15] self-care ritual that involves edging
[14:17] the grim reaper. Let me put it this way.
[14:20] Speed you can control feels different
[14:23] than speed you can't. And the Dodge
[14:26] Viper requires you to know what the hell
[14:30] you're doing because it's not going to
[14:32] compensate for your shortcomings in the
[14:34] way all modern performance cars will.
[14:38] Let me reiterate, there's no traction
[14:40] control or ABS here. So, if you push
[14:43] this car past its limit, you will not be
[14:46] able to recover unless you are a very
[14:49] skilled driver. And by that, I mean that
[14:52] you have already taken a Viper past the
[14:56] limits of adhesion on a track and know
[14:58] what this is going to do. But, but
[15:01] that's also why the GTS is so
[15:04] compelling. It's like a hyper
[15:06] motorcycle. You look at it and realize
[15:10] you're looking at greatness.
[15:12] But you're also looking at exclusion.
[15:15] For our skiers and snowboarders up
[15:17] there, remember the first time you gazed
[15:20] over the edge of a true double black?
[15:23] Not an east coast double black, you
[15:25] know, maybe Killington, but west coast
[15:28] double black or Utah, Colorado. Oh,
[15:33] and you see the horizon. You look down
[15:35] and down. Oh, I thought I was skilled.
[15:39] The skill pit goes deeper. The Viper
[15:42] utilizes its aggression in a more
[15:45] thoughtful way than something like the
[15:47] Cyber Truck. It maximizes driver
[15:50] influence rather than minimizing it. A
[15:52] drive that requires track day focus is
[15:55] more rewarding than showing up to a
[15:58] place without any memory of the drive
[16:00] that got you there. And there's also
[16:02] something to to be said for this design
[16:04] because while both cars have a sort of
[16:07] offputtingly edgy appearance, the Viper
[16:10] feels a lot less tryh hard. Right? If
[16:13] the Cybert truck is a goth loner who
[16:16] acts like they're above the cool kids
[16:18] while desperately craving their
[16:21] validation, like the creator of this car
[16:24] desperately wants our validation. Guess
[16:27] what? No amount of money buys coolness.
[16:31] No amount of money buys hip. Money does
[16:35] not equal popularity. It never will.
[16:39] You're a loser if you think so. But the
[16:42] Viper is the cool kid who couldn't
[16:45] possibly care less about whether anybody
[16:48] likes him or not. He's got pit vipers on
[16:51] and he's owning them. It's effortless
[16:54] cool that's reinforced through a
[16:56] combination of performance and aura. The
[16:59] Viper is doing its own thing and doesn't
[17:02] care if you don't care to watch. It's an
[17:05] outsider artist. And for that, I love
[17:08] Dodge that kept this car going. There
[17:10] are few cars that were built for the
[17:12] love of the game, and this is one of
[17:14] them. You buy a Dodge Viper when you
[17:17] realize you haven't known peace since
[17:19] age 10. And chaos is what feels most
[17:22] like home. The type of kids who played
[17:25] chicken with oncoming trains grew up and
[17:28] bought Dodge Vipers. After all, nothing
[17:30] reaffirms life like a car that doesn't
[17:33] care if you live or die. 1998 Dodge
[17:36] Viper GTS skill issue. But even while I
[17:40] enjoy this car eternally, chat, I can't
[17:43] see myself ever wanting to own one. And
[17:45] the biggest reason is how much money you
[17:48] risk just to keep this thing on the
[17:50] road. Aside from keeping up with basic
[17:53] maintenance, uh you have to pray stuff
[17:55] doesn't break since stock parts on
[17:58] Vipers are expensive and difficult to
[18:00] find. It got to the point where our
[18:02] volunteer Matt just went out and bought
[18:05] aftermarket wheels and tires because
[18:07] they were cheaper than the stock tires
[18:09] and took the side markers off an old
[18:11] utility truck when they needed a
[18:13] replacement. And now one of the
[18:15] headlights is cracked and Matt doesn't
[18:17] have many options since these headlights
[18:20] were made in fairly low volumes. And
[18:22] there are no aftermarket options for
[18:24] these headlight enclosures. At least not
[18:27] in 2026. According to Matt, if you want
[18:30] a new headlight enclosure for a second
[18:33] gen Viper, guess what? $4,000
[18:37] a piece. So it has a cracked headlight
[18:40] enclosure. I don't blame him. Crack
[18:42] doesn't go all the way through. and he's
[18:43] not getting a fix it ticket. But even if
[18:45] it didn't have any of these problems,
[18:47] it's still a mechanically absurd car in
[18:50] a lot of ways. It has electric door
[18:52] handles, yet there's no way to open the
[18:54] rear hatch from inside the car. It has
[18:57] cold and hot air, but only heat comes
[18:59] out of the lower vents, and only cold
[19:01] air comes out of the top vents, which
[19:03] Matt tells us that's from factory. Dodge
[19:05] said this thing will do 20 on the
[19:07] highway. Matt says it's closer to eight
[19:10] miles per gallon city and
[19:14] 13 highway.
[19:16] He says he was able to e this thing to
[19:19] 18 m gallon highway in sixth gear while
[19:23] staying to the 65 mph speed limit. And I
[19:26] know who who cares about fuel economy in
[19:27] a Viper. The GTS wasn't cheap in its
[19:30] heyday. uh 1998 it MSRPD for $66,000
[19:35] which adjusted for inflation to 2026 is
[19:39] $130,000.
[19:41] That's a lot to pay for a frictionless
[19:44] majestic 1990s Mopar pile of garbage.
[19:48] However, you can also kind of understand
[19:51] it since the GTS was such a low volume
[19:54] car. It was handbuilt by small teams for
[19:56] limited runs which separated it from
[19:59] anything else on the road. There is
[20:01] there was nothing like this and there
[20:03] will be nothing like this. Oh, in
[20:05] addition to air conditioning and real
[20:07] glass for the side windows, this was the
[20:09] first Viper to get airbags. And because
[20:11] this is a pre2000 Viper, you also get
[20:14] forged pistons. This car represents a
[20:16] time when Chrysler used to be with it in
[20:18] a very Abe Simpson way. Chrysler used to
[20:21] knew what it was. They took risks in the
[20:25] way athletes take peeds without any
[20:28] thought to who might see them do it or
[20:31] how it might impact their future earning
[20:33] potential. And the world loved them for
[20:35] it. Chrysler was 1998 Mark Maguire
[20:39] drilling homers all the way back to the
[20:41] cheap seats. They were making these
[20:43] kinds of cars because people responded
[20:45] to these types of cars. And people
[20:47] responded to them because Chrysler cared
[20:50] about making them fun. But as with just
[20:53] any product that was halfway decent in
[20:55] the9s, Chrysler fell out of touch with
[20:58] what people wanted from them and has
[21:01] become something unrecognizable. They're
[21:04] the automotive equivalent of Gwen
[21:06] Stefani. They're saving face these days
[21:08] by cutting costs to the bone, but all
[21:11] that does is leave their current
[21:13] customer base saltier than target
[21:15] popcorn. People still like Jeeps and
[21:18] people still like Chargers and
[21:20] Challengers, but it seems like the Mopar
[21:24] scene is defending your choice. It's
[21:27] like buying a Sega Genesis too late and
[21:29] realizing it's all over, man. And I'm
[21:31] not saying the answer in 2026 is for
[21:34] Chrysler to make something like this
[21:36] again. I'm not entirely convinced they
[21:38] can. Stalantis build quality is so far
[21:41] down the toilet, it's practically in the
[21:43] Mushroom Kingdom. Maybe they'd luck into
[21:46] something great. Or maybe they'd build
[21:48] something that looks fun but sputters
[21:50] like a dying can of whipped cream. I
[21:52] don't know. A car like a Dodge Viper
[21:54] doesn't make sense today. But that
[21:57] hasn't stopped it from rising in value
[21:59] on the used market because Chrysler was
[22:01] just open to throwing caution to the
[22:04] wind and in the process ended up
[22:06] creating a reference point to their
[22:08] former greatness. Even within the Viper
[22:11] line, the second gen Dodge Viper GTS is
[22:14] the save point. It's the bookmark slid
[22:18] between the pages of automotive history.
[22:20] And even if Stalantis is around for
[22:23] another 100 years,
[22:26] as long as a single Viper is still in
[22:29] existence, as long as a single Viper is
[22:30] still on the road, its individuality
[22:34] will survive the company that made it.
[22:38] Just ask Minnie.