[00:02] We go through the cards and we try to make up a story using the numbers. So, like you make up a story and you're like, "All right, I'm uh" So, I I walk
[00:17] like, "All right, I'm uh" So, I I walk into a 7-Eleven, right? And I see a beautiful girl and I say, "Forgive me, uh, but you look wonderful." uh like a perfect 10 dressed to the
[00:31] uh like a perfect 10 dressed to the nines. No two ways about it. Uh are you single? And she said I'm eight. No, no, she didn't say that. She said um she said I'm separated. Ah, divorcee.
[00:48] I got there. Okay. Uh that was a that was a close one. I said a divorcee. Uh was a close one. I said a divorcee. Uh I'm one too. And she said that's nice. What's your 9 to5? I I I thought of a lie and I said, "I'm a I'm a spy. I'm a
[01:03] lie and I said, "I'm a I'm a spy. I'm a I'm a lieutenant in the secret ancient army." She bought it and she goes, "That's sexy." Like double 07. I great.
[01:17] >> it's happening." [Laughter] >> Just like James Bond, I thought, "Yeah, okay. You only live once." So, I asked her out and she said yes. Turns out she actually lives only about a block away
[01:31] from my house. I remember her address. It was one stop sign away from It was two doors after the stop sign and it was five four doors. It was her address wasn't important. Okay. What was important
[01:48] >> Yeah. >> And uh she said, "Hey, I have three a red one and a blue one and a yellow one. And I said, "I really don't care. what? We're the red one. I like it. It looks like a tutu. So, uh,
[02:04] looks like a tutu. So, uh, so we get in my car. I drive a Porsche 9 Ford uh Ford Explorer four-door. And, uh, and We can do anything. We could cuddle up, watch some YouTube videos like of Justin
[02:19] Flam." She goes, "I don't know who that is." So, we go out to burgers, uh, Five Guys. And when we're done, after we ate, uh, I said, "Hey, what do you think "I'm really more of a Tupac girl." And I said, "Okay." Well, it was still early.
[02:31] It was only like 800 p.m. And p.m. And we went back to my house. we went back to my house. And we started to play some Twister. And
[02:44] as I was twisting myself to some yellow, I thought to myself, uh, I was twisting myself to some blue. And I thought to myself, you know, I'm really drawn to this girl. So, I decided to shoot my shot and I went in and I tenderly kissed
[03:00] her on the forehead. And she backed away. She gave me a high five and she this." And I said, "Why not?" And she said, "I just saw you're 23 and me and said, "I just saw you're 23 and me and we are related." And I said, "Ooh."
[03:17] And that's the wild story of how I almost went on a date with my cousin. almost went on a date with my cousin. [Applause]