---
title: 'Everything Wrong With EVERY Matrix Movie (That We''ve Sinned So Far)'
source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=Uw2KT3_6Mf4'
video_id: 'Uw2KT3_6Mf4'
date: 2026-06-30
duration_sec: 4481
---

# Everything Wrong With EVERY Matrix Movie (That We've Sinned So Far)

> Source: [Everything Wrong With EVERY Matrix Movie (That We've Sinned So Far)](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Uw2KT3_6Mf4)

## Summary



## Transcript

Did you hear that?
>> Hear what?
>> Are you sure this line is clean?
>> Later, when they find out the call was
traced, it somehow doesn't occur to
Morpheus or Trinity that Cipher is
either bad at his job or just a dick.
>> POLICE IN YOUR HEAD. WHY DOES Trinity or
anyone for that matter from the
Nebuchadnezzar need to physically jack
into the Matrix to keep an eye on Neo?
Doesn't Morpheus watch him and see and
guide his every move in the office
building in just a few minutes? I love
this opening scene as much as anyone,
but it's still pretty unnecessary in the
grand scheme of keeping an eye on Neo.
>> I think we can handle one little girl.
>> Hey, how come the agents don't already
know it's Trinity? How come they didn't
leap into one of the cops in room 303
with Trinity at gunpoint the second they
burst into the room and saw her or once
she started kicking ass?
That's impossible.
>> I'm guessing Agent Smith and his two
partners go around with the Men in Black
memory eraser after these missions.
Doing impossible stunts, jumping into
other people and taking over their
bodies. This gives away the idea of the
Matrix to normal people. Right.
[music]
Agent sees Trinity running, but instead
of shooting her or chasing after her,
decides to watch her run away as if he's
never seen running before.
Why is the light swinging? I admit it's
a cool shot, but it wasn't hit by debris
or even the wind when she dove through
the window and it stopped swinging in
the next shot as evidenced by the light
not moving. The agents have to visually
confirm someone like Trinity in order to
know exactly where she is. So, how did
the agents know to morph into this truck
driver? How did they know which phone
booth she would be headed for? Trinity
is a dead woman if Agent Smith doesn't
stop and wait here for a few seconds to
give the movie's plot a chance to even
happen. Come to think of it, why did he
even feel compelled to turn the vehicle?
Couldn't he have just smashed into the
phone booth on his way down the street?
Truck does a Fred Flintstone tire spin
to buy Trinity even more time to barely
escape. Truck is always further away
than it was the last time we saw it so
that this escape is possible.
>> We have the name of their next target.
The name is Neo. We'll need a search
running.
>> Why are the humans able to use computers
inside your computer program to find a
person by his alias faster than Well,
computers are? How do you not know who
and where Neo is instantly?
Neo is somehow awakened by online chat.
What is this [ __ ] on Neo's computer
monitor?
>> My own personal Jesus Christ.
>> Movie hits the Jesus metaphor a little
square on the head.
>> Something wrong, man? You look a little
whiter than usual.
>> That's racist.
>> It's called masculine. It's the only way
to fly.
>> Movie promptly dates itself 9 minutes in
with a reference to masculine of all
drugs. Why not angel dust or speedballs?
I know Morpheus could probably tell
these [ __ ] were coming to Neo's
apartment, but how the did he know the
girl with the white rabbit tattoo would
turn her shoulder to expose the tattoo?
And how did he know Neo would see it?
Isn't this follow the white rabbit just
a bit too koi when the fate of the world
is in the balance?
>> My name is Trinity.
>> Trinity
>> as in father, son, and holy ghost. Wait,
does this movie have religious
symbolism?
>> And it will find you.
>> Why was it so important to have Neo go
to the club just to tell him the Matrix
is real and it will find him? I mean,
couldn't you have typed that on the
computer instead of follow the white
rabbit? Computer software company has no
mechanisms in place to determine when
flaky employees are just sitting in
their cubicle meditating instead of
doing actual work. It seems like Trinity
could have given him this phone last
night at the club, but Morpheus relies
on FedEx to send it to him. Hell, they
could even have been talking well before
Neil went into work today and he could
have avoided this altogether. Also, this
phone is conveniently delivered just
before the agents show up. How is
Morpheus able to see Neil's location and
guide him through the building? But the
agents who are connected to this entire
computer system called the Matrix have
no idea where Neo is.
>> Why is this happening to me? What I do?
>> Computer hacker and illegal software
salesman asks why me as FBI people chase
him around his workplace. I know we're
in the Matrix right now, but why doesn't
this thing carving its way into Neo's
belly button leave any blood anywhere?
>> Then go to the Adam Street Bridge.
>> Morpheus gives Neo a meat location on a
tapped phone and miraculously no agents
are there waiting for him when he
arrives.
>> Think you're bugged. Not that it's
mattered from the time you left your
apartment to go to the Atom Street
Bridge to getting in a mysterious car.
Also, why bug Neo in the first place?
Can't you just track his movements
through the Matrix itself? Remember,
>> all I'm offering is the truth, nothing
more.
>> That statement actually couldn't be less
true.
>> Dramatic thunder and lightning is
dramatic.
>> It means buckle your seat belt, Dorothy,
cuz Kansas is going bye-bye.
Dramatic thunder and lightning is
repetitive. Here's that guy Morpheus was
interested in. Better disconnect him and
totally forget why he woke up in the
first place. Neo pulls out this IV
without knowing what it does or whether
it keeps him alive.
>> We have only bits and pieces of
information.
>> So all the stuff that doesn't make
sense. We'll just chalk up to that.
>> Birth to AI.
>> AI? You mean artificial intelligence?
>> Well, you're a hacker, so yeah, you know
what AI means.
>> We don't know who struck first, but we
know that it was us that scorched the
sky.
>> What? How and how does that keep the sun
out? Did they blow up the sun? How is
that accomplished? How do you know about
this very specific detail and nothing
else?
>> The oracle prophesized his return.
>> Prophecy that one man will save us all.
Cliche.
>> I believe that search is over.
>> What is it that made Morpheus think Neo
was the one? He's a computer hacker who
works at a software company. No skills
in the area of badasserie. Nothing
incredibly notable accomplished in his
life. What was the one thing that said,
"Yep, this dude is totally worth going
through lots of trouble to unplug from
the matrix." near the Earth's core where
it's still warm.
>> Oh, come on. It's probably a lot more
than warm, right? Sun doesn't have
anything to do with the core
temperature. That is hot because of a
variety of factors, including
radioactive decay and awesome science
stuff. Even if he's talking about the
mantle, that [ __ ] is too hot. People
would be burned alive going to Zion.
>> Wa!
>> Squiddy's sweeping in quick.
>> Why do the human ships have radar-like
ability to detect squiddies at greater
distances than the squiddies can detect
human ships? Why didn't the machines
just put motion detection sensors all
over the place so the human ships would
be unable to move at all without being
spotted? Why are the squiddies
programmed only to look for electrical
signatures of the human ships instead of
biological signs of life or hell large
metal things that are hovercraft shaped?
>> The matrix.
>> Do you always look at it in coding?
>> Well, you have to.
>> Wait, so when Morpheus was guiding Neo
through the office cubicles, was he
actually looking at falling green lines
of code? Is this movie actually saying
these people learn how to see real
images in this code? Isn't Cippher
jacked into some machine back at the
ship? Is everyone asleep? There's not
one person who could just happen to walk
by and see Cipher hooked into the Matrix
and see him talking with an agent. And
how does Cipher get back? I thought it
required someone back at the ship to
wake you up and get you out of the
matrix with a hard line. Is this the
first time he's eaten since he got here?
After all that training and [ __ ] he
should be well aware of the awful
non-matrix food.
It's very cool, but how do they make a
connection on this call if there's no
one on the other end to pick it up? Like
Neo will be racing for a ringing phone
by the end of this movie. And if he
could just pick it up instead of getting
shot, he'd establish the connection and
transport back out. But leaping into the
Matrix, they still use real phone lines,
but it's apparently just for show. I
honestly don't know.
>> [ __ ] it.
>> We're in.
>> Wait, they went back into the Matrix to
see the Oracle. So, is the Oracle part
of the Matrix or is she plugged in
somewhere? Don't even bring up the
sequels when you defend this [ __ ]
either.
>> I can only show you the door. You have
to walk through it.
>> What an [ __ ] What was said was for
you and for you alone.
>> Which is why I told you what the oracle
told me while we were on the elevator.
>> Deja vu.
>> This has kind of always bothered me even
though it's actually really cool and I
accept it as a fantastic idea. But this
is not deja vu as we humans normally
experience it. You don't see something
and then see an absolute repeat of it 2
seconds later and go, "Wow, dja vu." And
you usually experience something and
feel like you've done it before, but it
feels like you did it long ago. and
chuck this up to plot convenience, even
though it's awesome. The hole wasn't
there when they opened the door, so they
basically kicked a hole in the wall
without anyone hearing it. Amazing.
Neo should definitely be dead from these
bullets, but it's not time for this
movie's bad guys to have good aim yet.
>> You must get Neo.
>> Damn, Smith is taking this like he's a
mannequin or some
Yeah. No, still not time for good aim.
Why are there like no agents down here?
Stopping the guys from going back to the
ship is an important part of the plan.
In fact, why don't they send 20 or 100
agents for a mission like this?
>> You all look the same to me.
>> That's racist. Tank takes two hits from
the electricity gun, but lives and is
basically fine. Even while only one
brief shot from the same gun later takes
out Cipher completely.
>> That red pill right up your ass.
>> You can see Morpheus blink at the wind
power of Cipher's pee in pill.
>> Just pull a plug here.
>> Murderous traitor conveniently kills
good guys in the order of their
importance to the remainder of the
story.
>> No, I don't believe it.
>> I don't believe it either. The leader of
every ship has given codes to Zion's
mainframe computer.
>> So you can't just send a message to Zion
and say, "Yo, change the codes. They got
Morpheus and they're going to make him
talk. Peace."
>> Those are agents holding him. Three of
them.
>> I know. I can't believe it's not more
either.
>> That's why I have to go.
>> Why? Because I believe in something.
>> What?
>> Neo stopped short of explaining himself
twice in a row so that Trinity and Tank
have to ask him what the hell he's
talking about.
>> Every mammal on this planet.
>> What mammals? Are there still other
mammals out there? Are they hooked up to
the matrix, too? Dreaming about being in
fields and getting taken down by
mountain lions? Because there sure as
hell aren't any other mammals in the
real world, what with the sky scorched
and all? Why are you talking about all
the planets other now dead mammals in
the present tense, you ass? Still not
time for good aim. Using lift instead of
elevator proves we're not in an American
city.
So, these guys with radios heard the
call for backup in the lobby, but didn't
deem it an important matter until all
the backup SWAT guys died, too. Why are
they bursting in to tell Smith about it
instead of leaping into the SWAT guys 30
seconds ago and killing Neo?
What the hell is this agent waiting for?
THEY DON'T SEE YOU.
>> OH, now he pulls out the gun. And as you
can see, pulling it out now has terrible
disadvantages, like Neo being able to
dodge the bullets.
>> Only human.
>> Even agents with artificial intelligence
have to say some [ __ ] just before
they kill someone so that the hero can
be saved at the last second.
>> Dodge this. However, when the roles are
reversed and the good guy has to say
some [ __ ] but apparently there is
not enough time for the bad guy to get
saved. Honestly, I know he's the one and
everything, but even the one would have
a hard time seeing the agents he wants
to kill and the Morpheus he doesn't want
to kill from this perspective,
especially with the sprinklers going
crazy on the inside.
[groaning and screaming]
I guess Morpheus just finally realized
there are no handcuffs. This This is the
one and only moment in the movie when
the bad guy has good aim. when he's
being rained on by sprinklers firing
blind from behind a wall.
>> The Oracle,
>> she told you
exactly what you needed to hear.
>> Okay, fine. We're going to go with that
Star Wars stuff where Obi-Wan said
Anakin Skywalker was dead. And then
later we find out, oh, it was just a
perspective I had that wasn't misleading
in any way whatsoever. [snorts] But did
Neo really need to hear the Oracle's
prophecy about Morpheus sacrificing his
life for him and he'd have to make a
choice? Wouldn't he have made the choice
to try and save Morpheus anyway? Also,
why did she literally spell out the
future for everyone else that saw her
and only get all reverse psychology on
Neo? This spelling of authorized proves
we're not in an American city. I
guarantee you there are hundred other
homeless people reacting to things like
pedestrians, air, the sky, the traffic
lights with just as much enthusiasm as
this guy does, and it doesn't set off
any alarms in the Matrix. How does the
information from this just woke up
vision stand out to the machines as
important from all the other homeless
people are seeing and getting excited
about all over the city?
>> Neo, I want to tell you something.
Something that can wait until after
we're back on the ship, but feel the
need to delay you with right now. Train
drives through an empty station and
never stops because it only comes during
dramatic moments. Cliche.
>> Uh, help. Need a little help. The door.
>> The one can't find a door in plain view,
which was his only option. How is it
possible that none of the Nebuchadnezzar
crew remember this building from the
opening scene like Agent Smith does?
Especially Trinity, who wasing there.
[music]
Even though Neo's mind believed himself
to be dead, the power of boners is far
stronger.
>> And then I'm going to show these people
what you don't want them to see. For
instance, the two sequels to this movie.
Also, the two sequels to this movie.
Okay, we get it. The Matrix digital
programming. This is Neo's dream about
Trinity dying. And it's so detailed he
dreams of the guy clocking out at the
end of his shift.
Was
the motorcycle rigged with C4 or
something? Ah, a full 0001% of the
bullets fired in this scene found their
target. Opening scene was just a dream
cliche. Also, so much for that I'm going
to show these people a world without you
mission that Neo promised at the end of
the first Matrix.
>> I can't say I fully understand your
reasons for volunteering.
>> Well, I can say it. The guy that played
Tank got all divish and demanded too
much money, causing the screenwriters to
invent both Link and his reason for
joining the crew.
>> That's right.
>> That can't be.
>> Why not? Morpheus somehow heard this
conversation all the way back here.
>> Morpheus, glad you could join us.
>> Naobbi.
>> Movie finds a clunky way to let us know
what Naobbi's name is.
>> We're going to do what Commander Lock
ordered us to do. We'll evacuate
broadcast level and return to Zion.
>> So, why the meeting? Why didn't everyone
head back to Zion after the order? Is it
so Morpheus could suggest one of the
ships stay behind?
>> How did you know someone was here?
>> This dude is somehow unaware of Neo's
supernatural powers. Also, showdown
number one with Agent Smith pushed to
later in the film because I guess Smith
just wants to play games and be koi, but
also probably the script. Look, I get
it. You're trying to show that Neo is
soing awesome at fighting that he's
really only humoring these [ __ ] and
even with upgrades, they still can't
beat him. The problem is that's [ __ ]
boring. And also, I think the Wowskis
are the only people on planet Earth who
forgot Neo could disintegrate agents by
jumping into them because he doesn't do
any of that in this entire movie. Also,
I truly believe this movie suffers from
the same issue plaguing most Superman
movies. The hero is too indestructible
for us to give a [ __ ] during the action
sequences. All right, now that I've
killed these agents, time to fly out of
here and go to the oracle's apartment
all of a sudden.
>> Is Neo okay?
>> Okay, Morpheus, you should have seen
him.
>> It was exactly like the first movie,
only way more boring. Also, it was
Trinity who asked the question, but
Morpheus is the one with the phone. So,
how did Link hear her? And why did he
specifically address Morpheus with that
answer?
>> He's doing this Superman thing.
>> Oh, so he's breaking someone's neck.
Also, DC Comics Rubber Neo number one.
If the oracle's true message in the
first movie was know thyself, and it
was, then why are Neo and the others
completely powerless to do anything
without hearing from her again? Last
time they were positive they needed her
advice and she told Neo he wasn't the
one. An outright lie.
Stalking these people are jacked into
some sort of flight control matrix down
in Zion. Why the four movie rips off the
robot mech suits from aliens. Also, this
[ __ ] quit doing his job before the
gate closed completely. Slacker. I want
the ship ready to go as soon as humanly
possible.
>> I thought that was the point of your
ship coming back anyway. You needed to
recharge. You have 36 hours to go back.
I guess this is a long way of me saying
unnecessary orders. Also, this is just a
bunch of clips and a mag light maybe and
I think a meat thermometer.
>> What is it between them?
>> Neo knows there's a deeper story here
because the script said exposition scene
at the top of the page.
>> What is it between them?
>> Morpheus and Log Naobi.
>> Also, Neo plays the pronoun game. So,
that Trinity has to ask who the hell he
means by them.
>> Doesn't have anything better to do.
>> You know what they say about the life
you save? It's worth two in the bush.
You either saw the Animatrix or you
didn't. Either way, you're probably
wondering why they crammed this stupid
kid into this movie.
>> I told you, kid. You found me.
>> Neo makes a casual reference to a far
better Matrix film. Steampunk Office is
steampunk.
>> I don't care about oracles or prophecies
or messiahs.
>> Bad guy speaks for the audience. Neo,
>> not everyone believes what you believe.
>> Come on. You mean all the stuff Neo did
in the first movie is simply a legend.
Nobody knows the story of how Neo flew
into an agent and destroyed him.
Everyone was like, that Morpheus, he's
always telling tales. God damn, it's
[music] good to be home.
>> Home is a piece of [ __ ] This pandown
shot is kind of cool, but it greatly
exaggerates the size of Zion's
population and requisite housing
infrastructure requirements.
>> Needy people cockpock. Also, the
philosophy that Neo is some sort of
Jesus becomes mind-numbingly literal.
>> Where's my [ __ ]
>> How many girlfriends would let you refer
to them as your [ __ ] My guess is none.
Awesome badass chick Gina Torres from
Alias Firefly and Angel gets about 30
seconds in this movie.
>> Tank and Dosa believed it. After all
that [ __ ] with Tank surviving in the
last movie, this movie decides that Tank
died somehow without explanation since
then. Basically, you tank
>> been seeing Neo do the things he can do.
>> Like what? Flying and calmly beating up
agents. We saw all that in the first
movie.
>> I give you Morphe.
>> Polarizing figure Morpheus somehow gets
cheers from 99% of the crowd. Discount
stomp. And who designed these things?
Dr. Seuss. It's obvious the Wowskis
decided to put a weird rave scene in the
first act of both this and the first
Matrix movie. What's not obvious ising
why we haven't had sex in ages. We're
dying to [ __ ] But hang on a few minutes
while I light all these candles. So,
here we are at the 30-minute mark
dancing. PG-13 sex in an R-rated movie.
Hardly any ass kicked at this point, and
we're at the exact same spot plot-wise
as we were 20 minutes ago.
This is sort of like Neo thinking about
baseball so he doesn't climax too soon.
Also, did the orgasm make him think
about the nightmare, or did the
nightmare assist in the orgasm?
>> All that matters is this.
>> Wait, what? They obviously can't take
physical items with them through the
phone line. So, is this envelope
symbolic? The [ __ ] I am so confused
right now. Does this mean that if Neo
answered the call intended for Trinity,
he could be inside Trinity? That sounds
really dirty, but seriously, once Agent
Smith takes this dude's body, why does a
phone call transportation system still
allow him to transport? I figure you
have to contain the same DNA of the guy
you're transporting into, or else the
Matrix wouldn't allow it, right?
>> I just haven't been able to sleep much.
>> We interrupt this Matrix sequel to bring
you boring.
>> Old men like me don't bother with making
points. This movie is definitely going
to make up for its violation of the
asskicking protocol later on, but the
question is, will I still be awake by
the time it gets there?
>> Neil, he's from the oracle.
>> Wait, that's not that's not the
important message from the envelope that
can't possibly have come through the
phone line from a computer program into
the physical world, is it?
>> You know, I don't believe in this stuff,
>> but I [music] do. It's always brought me
luck.
>> You maintain a belief system that is
based on luck. You know, it took me a
while to figure out this was Agent Smith
inside this dude's body. I mean, we saw
him twice, but both times he wore
sunglasses. or was in shadows. So, at
this point, he just seems like the
random dude who hates Neo or discount
Cipher from the first movie.
>> Stupid kid ex Machina.
>> Bane.
>> Seriously, this dude's name is Bane. Did
his parents know that one day he would
be possessed by Agent Smith and become a
bad guy? Batman much. Good luck. So, he
could easily stab Neo right now, right?
Neo isn't in the Matrix. Doesn't have
access to his badass powers, and there
are a million Agent Smiths in the
Matrix. So, even if he fails and dies,
who cares? You were going to take a
chance and stab him in the back. So, why
not now? Also, why a knife? This dude
has access to guns, right?
>> Or am I still in charge of our def?
>> Oh, look, more talking. I like kung fu
as much as the next guy. But is it
always supposed to be this boring?
>> I had to be sure of what? That you are
the one.
>> That dumbass fight we just saw proves
Neo is the one. Also, Sarif plays the
stop short game so that Neo has to ask
him what the hell he meant by I had to
be sure.
>> You do not truly know someone until you
fight them. movie sets up a ridiculously
delicious premise, but then never
delivers on it by having something
unexpectedly badass happen. Like Neo
having to fight Morpheus or Trinity or
someone he thinks he knows in order to
find out they're actually traitors or
something. Instead, no, just a saying.
[ __ ] you, Angel dude.
>> You do not truly know someone until you
fight them.
>> Also, I keep telling my potential
girlfriends that, but I always end up
bloodied at the antique shop.
>> The ones doing their job, doing what
they were meant to do, are invisible.
>> I think the movie could basically have
started here. Sentinels are going to
attack Zion. Let's go to the Oracle.
Awesome ideas about the Matrix and Rogue
programs. Boom. This is the scene that
finally sets the movie into motion.
>> Because you're the one.
>> That's not what you said last time.
>> Seems like every time we meet, I got
nothing but bad news.
>> No, you got nothing but riddles and
instructions, lady. You have never had
anything resembling news. Hey, can I go
back with you guys? Can you send me to a
place where I can get out of here? No.
Okay, I'll fight 100 Agent Smiths then.
Oh well. So, this fight goes on for 6
minutes. Agent Smith was a formidable
adversary in the first movie, but
hundreds of Agent Smiths are no match
for Neo in this one. Feel free to use
the restroom at this point. This fight
has a lot of sound and fury, signifying
nothing. Wait, this is a place where any
[ __ ] can walk by and see this? If so,
why is this the first person stumbling
on this fight? Neo gets punched in the
face a zillion times, but his glasses
keep on ticking. This reminds me, why
doesn't Neo just go ahead and fly the
hell out of here? Rubber Neo number two.
Also, this is a classic example of a
scene that looked fantastic on the big
screen opening weekend, but then can
never really be viewed at home again
without the experience being soiled by
how obvious the CGI becomes. Finally,
the 100 Aiden Smiths get smart and pile
on Neo instead of doing the one by one
silliness that all bad guys do in fights
like this. But even that proves totally
pointless. Neo could crush Superman with
his penis if he wanted to. Haha, they
can't fly. But why? I mean, he can in
the next movie. He's not a human being.
He's a computer program, but he still
somehow has to earn or learn the ability
to fly. And now there's more than one of
them.
>> How is that possible?
>> I don't know.
>> No worries. I'm sure they're just
waiting to explain that in the third
movie. Right.
>> Right.
>> Comprehension is not a requisite of
cooperation.
>> This [ __ ] sounds just like a
machine. Let's get him. Also, harmonica
Nicholas.
>> Because some things never change, Jason,
[music] but some things do.
>> Why don't any of these citizens turn
into an agent when they see Neo and
Morpheus? Morpheus is addicted to people
who don't want to use the stairs. Why
don't any of the citizens eating at the
Marovvenians restaurant turn into agents
when they see Neo and Morpheus in there?
>> Action.
reaction, cause and effect.
>> Since when did programs get so damn
wordy and preachy? Every character Neo
runs into in this movie has a master's
degree in philosophy. Truth
>> is we are completely
>> cake orgasm.
>> I am so sick and tired of his [ __ ]
on and on. Pumpus prick.
>> Man, lots of people in this movie keep
saying what the audience is thinking.
>> Kiss.
>> I'm going to help you, but only if you
kiss me, cliche. What? That's not a
cliche. That's just completely stupid.
Okay, well, no cliche, but still plenty
of sin for this [ __ ] Come on. I
mean, this is Monica Baluchcci, man.
Make that [ __ ] count. Kissing her like
you do Trinity would not be hard. You
know, I'm serious about this because I'm
taking off my sunglasses. This kitchen
doesn't have the end fight scene from
the raid too happening in it right now.
>> They do dirty work.
>> Why the long introduction when you're
just going to kill them?
>> How many people keep silver bullets in
their gun?
>> Wait, these guys are werewolves? The
Oracle said stuff like that was
possible. Now the movie's forcing me to
debate whether it's better that we never
see the werewolves or just be happy that
I got the reference. I'm torn.
>> You can either run to the restaurant and
tell my husband what [music] I have done
or you can stay there and die.
>> Praphanie lets one henchman live to tell
the husband because promise to help
implies simultaneous promise to harm.
Apparently
>> that's racist. Nobody here has any
powers that can make this fight
interesting either. We interrupt this
Matrix sequel to bring you the force.
Also, why doesn't he do that kind of
more often? Also, why is he even using
weapons anymore after realizing he can
do like that? So, this is still going.
You know, fights aren't good because
they're longer. They're only good when
you feel like the hero could be in
danger. Okay, so I understand that the
keys change the rooms that you go into,
but how do you change a room from the
outside and not be in that same room
yourself? See, here are guys who should
be fighting Neo. These dudes have
amazing powers and would present a
challenge. But they're the only
characters in this whole movie who do
anything cool. Hm. We have the ability
to become Vapor. How do we ever get into
this car? Is the knife part of this
twin's program where it turns to vapor
when he turns to vapor? If not, why
doesn't he just turn other things into
vapor by touching them? That could come
in handy. You know what? This movie
needs some good slow motion about now
for no reason. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Yeah.
Bullet holes appear and disappear all
over this scene, but we aren't really
into nitpicking little details like
that. Are these people somehow oblivious
to the war zone that has been coming up
on their ass for 5 minutes? Oakland,
man. Also, empty highway behind Chase is
super empty.
>> Shots fired. Where the [ __ ] has this
radio guy been this whole time? He's
just now calling in. Shots fired. Dude,
you are fired. Now that he's out of
bullets, now's the time to vaporize over
to the other car. Where did all thising
traffic behind them come from? Wait, so
while the agent does this, what is the
twin doing? He has an absolutely huge
opening to kill Morpheus and Trinity and
make off with the key maker. This van is
honking, I guess, for the incredible
scene of watching a guy turn into vapor
and land in the middle of the freeway
unharmed. I mean, are the people who
live inside the Matrix muggles or
something? They don't see magic right in
front of them. This computer programmed
cop has terrible aim. Conveniently timed
truck with convenient motorcycles is
convenient. These two make this jump,
but only through the power of editing.
How the hell are agents coming from all
over, leaping into all these [ __ ]
drivers, and smashing the hell out of
her in the keymaker? I guess this is the
only person on the entire freeway who
noticed the motorcycle. What? How did
these cops know to drive down the exit
ramp? And how could they be sure it was
a completely empty exit ramp that they
could enter the freeway with? Cool shot,
but as we've seen, people getting
possessed by agents go through all these
convulsions before changing. The
placement of the sword on the side of
the truck jumps several feet between him
stabbing it and him needing to stand on
it. The next action I take will require
the removal of my sunglasses. Oh, look.
The sword jumped back up to the top of
the truck just in time for him to grab
it in his hour of need.
>> Gotcha.
>> What? Then you're meant for one more
thing. Deletion.
>> Okay, so do it already. Why has the
agent not already killed the key maker
five times by now?
>> Neo, if you're out there, I could use
some help.
>> Morpheus says a prayer to Neo and it's
answered. Of course, Neo saves the day.
No one in this scene enters it at any
time other than the exact perfect
second. We interrupt this Matrix sequel
to bring you a teaser trailer for the
next one.
>> There is a building. Inside this
building, there is a level [music] where
no elevator can go.
>> Welcome to the most confusing scene in
movie history. Up is down, left is
right, and everything is happening all
at once and not at all. While also being
discussed and explained in what appears
to be the same room where Neo first met
Morpheus, which would be a stupid place
for them to go, but like I said, there's
so much wrong and weird with this entire
scene. I'm just going to roll the dinger
for a couple seconds.
Did he say Paul?
>> You know, pound-for-pound, Roy Jones is
the worst actor they could have gotten
to say this terrible line.
>> But like all systems, it has a weakness.
>> Of course it does. Sure, as Morpheus
said, there are no accidents. Just
really convoluted ways to get Trinity
into the Matrix when Neo doesn't want
her in there.
>> In 5 minutes, [music] I'll tear that
whole goddamn building down.
>> Yeah, we saw the dream at the beginning
of the movie. Too bad there's no
suspense now. Well, this timing is
perfect, actually. Do you mind fighting
with us for a little bit? Just for a few
moments while our friends fix the power
station crisis that we don't even know
about so that we don't die when we open
the door. Awesome.
>> Hold it right there. Little lady guard
sees badass chicken leather walk into a
restricted area and thinks of the words
little lady. The Mr. Smiths behind Neo
are just [ __ ] worthless. They let Neo
do whatever he needs to do before
attacking him again. Also, some of these
Mr. Smiths are obviously not Hugo
Weaving. Mr. Smith goes to Bowlington.
You'll know which door are in you.
>> Man, this dude was riddled with bullets,
but thankfully he had exactly enough
breath to give Neo the instructions.
You'll know which door.
>> Yep, it's so obvious.
>> I am the architect.
>> Remember that earlier scene that I said
was the most confusing one in movie
history? Yeah, about that. See, I hadn't
actually watched any further than that
point in the movie when I said that.
>> Here goes some of my answers. You will
understand, and some of them you will
not.
>> It's a convenient thing to say when the
audience decides they have no clue what
the is going on.
>> You say white prick.
>> Did he say you old white prick? Cuz
that's racist. So Link told her the bad
guys were headed her way and to get the
hell out of there. and she goes and
waits for the elevator.
>> Thus, I redesigned it.
>> You can tell this is a movie from 2003
when George W. Bush gets equated to
Hitler.
>> There are two doors. The door to your
right leads to the source and the
salvation of Zion. The door to your left
leads back to the Matrix to her and to
the end of your species.
>> So, basically no different from the
choice Batman has to make in Batman and
Robin, previously on the Matrix
Reloaded.
>> What was that? It's moving faster than
anything I've ever seen.
>> First off, you know with your whole
heart what that is. Second off, it can't
be much faster than when Neo came out of
the mountains to save Morpheus and the
Keymaker from that truck crash at the
last minute. This is [ __ ] awesome. A
dozen years before Man of Steel, this
movie stole Superman's Thunder just a
little bit. And by the same studio, too.
Holy [ __ ] he caught it.
>> I know. Amazing. You saw this before,
remember? Also, at the speed Neo was
flying. Wouldn't this basically have
been like a 747 crashing into Trinity?
We'll explain his hand somehow reaching
into her with the use of green digital
characters. Also, I don't know whether
I'm supposed to think this is amazing or
be turned on. Why didn't he just pull
the bullet out with the force? Neo has
been powered up from Superman Jesus to
God Almighty.
>> I can't take this.
>> I really relate to this guy. This guy is
the audience. Only my amazement is more
anger based than his.
>> Guess this makes us even.
>> Yeah, you saved me with a miracle kiss
that shouldn't have worked. I reached
inside your body and took a bullet out
and restarted your heart. But yeah,
we're even. Women, that's impossible.
Someone in a sci-fi movie declares
something impossible cliche.
>> I have dreamed a dream. We interrupt
this second Matrix movie to bring you
lay miser rob movie has the balls to
come up with a fantastic cliffhanger
ending after 2 hours of relative
boredom. It's the hammer. The hammer is
my penis. Also, weren't there way more
than just three of those sentinels back
when they threw the bomb? Aren't the
rest of them right behind those first
three and killing all these fools right
about now? Here's a cliffhanger ending
for your ass. By the way, I had already
sort of forgotten about Mr. Smith Bane
and what he looked like. So, seeing him
upside down does me no favors. First
time I saw this, I was like, "Who the
[ __ ] is that? Evil Neo?" Come back in 6
months. We guarantee you'll be less
pissed off about this movie. Then
for dramatic purposes, patients in this
ship's infirmary are placed headto-head,
giving us the yin-yang Neo Smith shot we
didn't know we wanted.
>> I bring word from the Oracle. You must
come at once.
>> I won't tell you where, though, even
though that's crucial information. We
assume you can figure it out for
yourself. Only this girl and her parents
at the terminal, yet they ignore her
enough so that she can just start
chatting up Neo and stuff.
>> This isn't the Matrix. That's where the
train goes.
>> Thankfully, she's full of exposition.
Oh, look. They knew where to meet Sarif
without him saying anything about
location. Wowee. One sin for regular old
mortality for causing this franchise to
have to recast a role that was already
perfectly cast.
>> Do you know what happened to Neo?
>> Yes, he is trapped in a place between
this world and the machine world.
>> This train man is cool and all, but the
movie never even once tries to explain
how Neo controlling the Sentinels in the
real world caused him to end up in this
train limbo.
>> He has placed a bounty on your lives.
You must be careful at all times
>> because prior to this moment, you did
not need to be careful.
>> Sati, come here, darling. Leave the poor
man in peace.
>> You've coughed up enough exposition on
him for one day.
>> I am sorry. She is still very curious.
>> If you were really sorry, you'd have
stopped her from bothering Neo long
before this. Also, he's a goddamn
program. How did computer programs get
so emotional and irrational?
>> I just have never heard a program speak
of love. It is a human emotion.
>> No, it is a word. What matters is the
connection the word implies.
>> Clever dialogue, but you're still
suggesting machines have emotions, which
is not only weird, but goes against what
this series of films has spent a lot of
time trying to prove.
>> I see that you are in love.
>> Computer program in another region place
can see Neo's love for Trinity just by
looking at him. This motherucker is not
running fast enough to outrun the
Oracle, let alone Sarah, Trinity, and
Morpheus. Also, in the last cut of the
turn styles, this dude was nowhere near
this far ahead of them.
Damn it. guy who runs super slow only
needs a threec car subway going by to
disappear like vapor. Also, even if that
head start is somehow a good one, which
it isn't, these [ __ ] still just give
up.
>> Why?
>> That is a karma.
>> You believe in karma.
>> Dialogue like this really, when you boil
it all down is why both Matrix sequels
end up being more boring than
entertaining. It's
>> over my big dead ass.
>> So be it.
>> Classic case of a bad guy waiting too
damn long to just do what he was
threatening to do. Even with the element
of surprise, Sarif and Gang only managed
to kill one of the five gun check dudes
on the first spray. But whatever. Slow
motion guns and rape music. Party time,
am I right? Just a reminder, no one in
the actual club, which has the coat and
gun check just outside, can hear this. I
know clubs be loud, but damn. Jesus,
this room is a coat and gun check room.
It is only this large with huge concrete
columns everywhere so that this action
sequence can take place. Discount rave
scene from either of the two previous
matrixes. Or is it matrices? Oh, who
cares? I get why they're all three
backtoback going through the dance
floor, but why do they have to be
constantly spinning? Wouldn't staying in
relative stationary direction give each
of the three a better longer look at the
surroundings near them as opposed to
constantly spinning and scanning.
>> Hey
DJ wearing headphones and a loud ass
club that couldn't hear gunfire in the
next room somehow hears the maravvenian
yelling at him. Also gas attack victim
DJ also DJs. Does every person at this
bondage nightclub know and respect the
meravenian enough to be basically
soldiers for him? I mean not one of them
is going to complain about why the music
stopped. Are none of these club goers
drinking and or drunk? I couldn't even
tell you the owner of my favorite
nightclub if he walked up to me in a
spandex bodysuit and pinched my ass. Or
is this just the mayor of Indian's work
headquarters and all these people are
henchmen and the dancing is just a
byproduct of having so many latex laden
hotties all together in one room.
>> I am curious though as to how it
actually happened.
>> Yeah, you and me both, buddy.
Unfortunately, the movie ain't got no
clue itself how that happened, so you'll
just have to get over it and move on.
Trinity starts kicking ass and none of
the gun toing henchmen do anything
allowing Morpheus and Serif to also
start kicking ass without any good guys
getting shot despite all logic and
reason. This chick down here does not
shoot Trinity the entire time she
watches and catches the gun. I can't
help but wonder how many other gun toing
[ __ ] are just offcreen also not
shooting Trinity.
Latex Bondage Club Mexican standoff.
>> She'll do it if she has to. She'll kill
every one of us. She's in love. Thank
god the third movie finally paid off
that completely weird and emotionless
true love's kiss in the bathroom scene
from the last movie.
>> I can't leave yet. I have to see her
>> now.
>> No, at some later point in time. What
the hell, Trinity? You get to see the
oracle, but your boyfriend, who is the
one can't?
>> I was hoping to have these done before
you got here.
>> Well, you are the oracle, right?
Couldn't you have just started making
the dough a few minutes earlier since
you knew when he was coming?
>> I think it's time for a tasting. Take
the bowl to Sarah and find out if
they're ready. Salmonella. If you
rearrange the letters on the fridge, it
spells, "You wasted a bunch of time
looking at fridge letters for humorous
anagrams and came up empty."
>> And you are all that stands in his way.
>> Smith.
>> Man, the oracle is the [ __ ] master of
the pronoun game. She wrote the book on
that [ __ ]
>> What is he?
>> He is you, your opposite, your negative.
The result of the equation trying to
balance itself out.
>> Okay, fair enough. But Neo is the sixth
one. And we already saw Smith himself
say in the last movie that his newfound
power was a new development in the
repeating Matrix cycle. And he said that
way before Neo broke the cycle by saving
Trinity instead of Zion. So what I'm
saying is you're full of lady.
>> I need time.
>> Okay, this is one of the movies biggest
problems to serve the story and the eb
and flow of the action in the film. Neo
spends a super long time just thinking
about what he should do. Even though the
oracle just told him in the last scene,
he already knew what he needed to do. If
we weren't trying to line up parallel
crescendos, then Neo would immediately
head for the machine city right now and
end the war before Zion gets attacked.
Agent Smith somehow controls this
building's power. Okay, fine. But why is
he shutting off the lights one at a time
for drama?
>> Agent Smith is addicted to cookies.
>> What did you do with Sy?
>> Cookies need love like everything does.
>> You are a bastard.
>> Well, you're the one that had Sati alone
with you in an abandoned building when
you knew Smith was coming. So, here's
Neo still seeing visions of the place he
already knows he needs to go. Still not
going.
>> These squids are sneaky bastards. Could
be a trap.
>> But wouldn't you have picked them up on
your scanners? Haven't we seen multiple
times already that you can do that?
Also, discount inside the space monsters
throat scene from Empire Strikes Back.
>> What did you tell you?
>> The same thing she always does. Exactly
what I needed to hear.
>> Oh, that's useful. Thanks. Overhead shot
of supposedly smallass Zion suggests
there are millions more inhabitants than
originally believed. Movie repeats
Matrix Reloaded's mistake of thinking we
give a [ __ ] about these two.
>> What the [ __ ] is going on over here?
>> What the podorn pencil neck like you
doing volunteering for my call?
>> That's racist. And do the Zionborn
people harbor some kind of
discrimination or ill will against
people born in the pod farm? If so, why
isn't that flushed out a little bit
more? I can even see it. The sneeches in
Zion, those are the ones with plugs on
their mugs. Movie repeats Matrix Reload.
mistake of thinking we give a [ __ ] about
>> Give me a chance, sir. I won't let you
down
>> again. I mean,
>> I'm sorry that I took so long.
>> So are we.
>> If we leave inside the hour, [music] we
should reach Zion as the machines do.
>> Imagine when you could have arrived if
Neo hadn't taken his sweet ass time on
this decision.
>> What if I blew that EMP?
>> This guy has been playing his part
correct the entire time for days. But
now he decides to monologue and
basically warn this chick about his
evilness before killing her. How did
Trinity and Neo actually lose chemistry
as a couple as these movies go along?
How is that possible? It's not like they
had a ton to begin with. Did Lucas guest
direct these scenes?
>> I ain't saying goodbye.
>> I'm not saying goodbye. Cliche. She
survives this.
>> Mr. Anderson.
>> This phrase alone does not immediately
cause Agent Smith light bulbs for Neo
and Trinity. And that's some [ __ ]
Now, I know this is Agent Smith we're
talking about here. And his ego is
nearly as big as Shawn Penn, but still
sinning for the bad guy wasting time and
not killing him already. Thankfully, the
shards from that light she smashed on
Bane's head a few minutes ago are handy
to help her cut her binds. I realize
she's probably limited in what she can
do to help. But doesn't turning on the
lights limit your boyfriend as much as
it does the enemy.
>> Blind Messiah.
>> Messiah. Man, trilogy that doesn't want
you to miss the Jesus parallels really
doesn't want you to miss the Jesus
parallels. Even now that he's blinded
Neo, Smith still feels the need to mess
with him instead of just punching him in
the ear and then killing him with a gun.
I can see you.
>> Movie also never explains how Neo was
the first and only of all the ones that
could see and control machines outside
the actual Matrix, but whatever. Cool
shot, I guess.
>> Sorry, but I think you're going to have
to drive. Why can't he drive the ship
when he can sense and feel everything
now? Just what inarnation are these
screens behind lock supposed to be
showing? And how is this information in
this graphical display any kind of
useful? Movie rips off the robot mech
suits from the Matrix Reloaded.
>> All right,
this is it.
>> Movie shows us a vast shot of APUs, then
shows us their commander giving the
pre-war speech in a speaking voice the
third row is probably struggling to
hear.
>> If it's our time to die, it's our time.
>> Well, that's inspiring.
Robot roll call. Holy Christ, would you
look at that?
>> So, you can scan for Sentinels. What was
that worry again earlier when you
thought they might be ambushing you?
They're inching along trying to sneak up
on millions of Sentinels, but everyone
is in the cockpit. Probably so that they
have to scramble and waste time manning
the guns when they made a stupid noise
to alert the Sentinels to their
presence.
I knew it.
>> Systems the gun to.
>> Yeah, late much. Blatant Star Wars
homage is Star Wars. The proper piloting
of this hovercraft will require the
removal of my sweater. This dome
concrete ceiling is capable of being
pierced without the whole thing raining
down on [ __ ] And we've known for
ages what direction these [ __ ] were
coming from. But sure, yeah, let's wait
until the last second to train our guns
on the spot.
>> Knuckle up. [screaming]
>> Knuckle up. Machine drillers are
basically self-reviving transformers.
Machines wait forever to send the full
strength of Sentinel forces. Then the
Sentinels join five streams into one for
the main assault, making themselves much
easier to target for the few guns that
exist in this dock. The Sentinels are
terrible at finding humans until the
humans shoot rockets at them. How is a
giant ass hover ship faster than these
[ __ ] The Sentinels blow off a
hover pad in two seconds flat, but how
much you want to bet it takes them
forever to get the rest of them off? We
can hack into the matrix and put humans
inside a computer program wearing and
carrying anything we want. But when it
comes to targeting computers, just
triangles, dog, that's all we can offer.
Sorry, yo. Damn, these hovercraft are
built like tanks.
>> Cap. You see that?
>> That's the radio. Stop him.
>> You haven't even tried to use the radio
to call Zion once. Why protect what
you're not using? Also, call Zion on the
radio before the radio gets destroyed.
God damn it. The Sentinels are terrible
at finding humans until the humans shoot
rockets at them. Either these Sentinel
arms have the aim of Stormtroopers, or
else these girls are luckier than Andrew
Luck on a luck dragon.
>> No one can pilot mechanical.
>> I bet there's at least one person who
can. And I bet the movie tells us how
awesome a pilot that person is about 153
times. We blow an EMP inside there,
we'll lose the dock, sir, we already
lost the dock. Open the gate.
>> How in the [ __ ] are you giving to
Morpheus later about blowing the EMP
when you went out of your way to help
him do it? Before they finalized
character names for the script, this
dude's name read as 100% dick guy number
one.
>> HE'S NOT RESPONDING. Taking critical
damage, sir. You lost control.
>> Relatively random carnage has ironic
timing.
>> Oh dear, woman, you can drive.
>> We ain't home yet.
>> How did you hear that? You don't have a
headset on anymore. Are all his comments
just broadcast shipwide? This guy
wouldn't be alive anymore if entire
swarms of Sentinels weren't constantly
passing him by. There are clearly more
than enough Sentinels here to keep this
guy from making an ammo run, let alone
eventually saving the day. And while
we're at it, how come the super strong
exo suit things can only carry two boxes
of ammo at a time? That's a design flaw
if I've ever seen one. Cool shot, I
guess. But what the hell are these
Sentinels doing? Showing off? Is it like
a machine version of Ribbon Ballet
Gymnastics or something?
>> HEADS UP. THEY'RE COMING DOWN.
>> SO WHAT? THEY DON'T do anything to you
when they fly past you anyway. What's
the worry? None of the 10,000 sentinels
swarming and eating and killing Muffi
noticed the delicious teenage human
dangling off the back. Maybe they read
the script.
>> Hurry, there's no timing.
>> I didn't finish the training program.
Movie repeats Matrix Reload its mistake
of thinking neither did I. [sighs]
>> But you did finish the dying with one
eye open program.
>> Get to the main deck. Charge the EMP.
>> Yeah, cuz that's not something you could
have done earlier or anything.
>> You I believe
>> you believe what? That there is no
spoon? That shooting this thing will
open the door? That Neo is the one? You
already believe that, didn't you? Why
are you wasting time to say this thing?
Also, I guarantee Neo does not give a
[ __ ] about whether or not you believe.
You know, even if they survive this
machine attack, everyone in Zion is
going to die of smoke inhilation anyway.
You're miles underground after an EMP.
Where's all this light coming from right
now?
>> You're a hell of a pilot.
>> After telling us for two movies that
Naobbi is a hell of a pilot, and then
actually showing us Naobbi in the act of
being a hell of a pilot, Repetitive
Movie feels compelled yet again to tell
you she's a hell of a pilot.
Thank god this dock is on fire right
now. Am I right? Or else none of us
would be able to see you in order to
cheer you.
>> Did I miss something, Commander? I
thought we just saved the dock. What's
the problem with you people? You can't
think but 5 minutes in front of your
face.
>> You were the one who ordered the dock
door open so they could do the thing
they did that you're now being a dick
about. Dick.
>> That EMP knocked out almost every piece
of hardware in every APU.
>> Why only almost every piece of hardware?
It knocked out every Sentinel. Even the
ones outside the dock already escaping.
But the good guys still have some
equipment left that works.
>> Save the dock, Captain. Just handed it
to him on a silver platter.
>> Well, you did. But whatever. Semantics,
I suppose. I guess we're using those
minimally lasting damage EMPs where
everything can be restarted instantly
except the dead sentinels, of course,
>> because he's the one who believes in
miracles. [snorts]
>> Meanwhile, back at the three electrical
conduits. Also, why did the machines
build the fields of humans so far away
from the machine city? Was it just for
dramatic timing purposes?
[music]
>> Gotcha.
>> Wait, what? Did the Sentinel ghost come
through the ship, but not its physical
body? Are they currently fighting
against both physical and ghost
sentinels? Go up over them. What? The
>> sky is the only way.
>> But we're in a hovercraft, Neo. There's
a limit to how far we can hover from
things like Earth.
>> You made it.
>> Premature self. Congratulations.
>> I wished I had one more chance to say
what really mattered.
>> Which I will do here in a moment,
provided I don't run out of breath and
die during this setup.
>> But you brought me back. You gave me my
wish. One more chance to say what I
really wanted to say.
>> Just say it already. Gasp crying. Oh,
sure. It takes him 6 hours to think
about whether or not he's sure about his
mission. But morning Trinity, that over
in seconds. The blind Neo can see light
thing is cool for sure, but this makes
it look like he's got no idea if he's
stepping on solid surfaces or about to
plunge to his death. Literal deos
xmacha. Also, were the machines like
we'd better at least appear human when
we negotiate with this human cuz that
way he won't realize we're machines.
These sentinels land and then instead of
attacking, they just stalk forward. Then
the humans respond by not attacking.
This is a weirdass battle. And if you
fail, I'm wrong.
>> The machines just accept this. Thunder
and lightning indicate the Matrix had
gone to [ __ ] How do all the identical
Agent Smiths know which one of them is
the true original one that gets to fight
Neo? And while we're on that subject,
what was the point in making all the
Agent Smith clones if you were still
going to fight Neo with just one of
them? I realize Smith winning is exactly
how Neo wins. But Smith doesn't know
that. He should be attacking Neo with
all the Smiths.
>> It ends tonight.
>> I know it does. I've seen it.
That's why the rest of me is just going
to enjoy the show.
>> A couple problems here. First off, how
is Smith getting visions now? Didn't
Neil get visions previously, too, in
this very movie? I know they're yin and
yang and all that, but why would Smith
gain visions and Neo lose them? Why
didn't Neo have any visions of this
event? Second, are you actually telling
me cockiness is the reason Smith chooses
to fight Neo as one man instead of an
army of millions? Cuz I'm pretty sure
the real reason is special effects cost
kung fu flex of defiance. This is the
second huge exploding slow motion ball
of water shot in the last 3 minutes.
It's a cool effect and all, but the
movie will show us Neo's revelation
about how he needs to die to kill Smith
here in a few moments. So, my question
is, what's his plan right now? Bite to
the death with each of the millions of
Agent Smiths one at a time. Damn, this
movie is more in love with its slow
motion exploding water effects than it
is with the story or any of its
characters.
Superman is addict metropol. Oh, wait.
Yeah, no need to fly to the location of
impact. Walking dramatically will
suffice. Also, production saved a ton of
money on rain machine rental and green
camera filters by shooting on the road
to predition set.
>> You believe you're fighting for
something for more than your survival?
Can you tell me what it is? Do you even
know?
>> Yeah. Um, he's fighting to end the
machine war with humans. He's actually
come here prepared to die. Honestly,
you're the most in the-dark character in
the film right now.
>> Only a human mind can invent something
as incipid as love. But the program dude
back at the train station went to great
lengths to waste lots of my time by
explaining that machines too feel love.
So now I'm confused. Plastic punch.
>> He saved us.
>> The military commanders aren't even
positive the Sentinels are leaving for
real and for good. But sure kid, go run
and tell all of Zion that the war is
over without any actual proof. All you
know is that this current battle is
paused and maybe over. Why is the
chancellor hanging out 15 yards behind
the front lines? Oh, sure. When the
Sentinel army was approaching, you held
a sweaty naked dance party in here. But
now that the war is over, it's just
hugs. I demand quick flashes of
interracial nudity. Reluctant
peacekeeping machine show respect to
Neo's dead body instead of just
logically turning it immediately into
liquid fuel. I have your word.
>> What do you think I am?
>> Human,
>> right? Because the machines haven't ever
lied or been deceitful this entire
series.
>> Freeze. Do not move.
>> Get it? It's like deja vu. Get it? Do
you get it? Do you get it?
>> No. Lieutenant, [music] your men are
already dead.
>> Hey, I remember that line from the
Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for this
first scene. And then it's on to
something new, right? Right. Also, we
find out later that Neo created this
modal for some reason. And it's a sort
of video game free-for-all testing area.
But Neo didn't see this. He didn't even
join the story until well after this
happened. And Seek and Bugs will say
something soon here about knowing this
story inside and out. But even that
doesn't make sense. The only way they
know the story at all is if Neo put it
in his famous video game, which again,
how does he even remember these events
so well when he wasn't there? Only the
original story was being recorded by the
machines as it happened and humans found
some way to access the files and
underground copies of that video
circulated and became legit. Either way,
sounds like [ __ ] to me. Even if
Trinity told Neo this story later in
life, she wouldn't know what the cops on
the street said to each other.
>> Your rejection's breaking up. Switch to
audio.
>> He doesn't switch to audio. The video
remains fine. And this is never
mentioned again. As pointless as this
tension is, she might as well have said,
"You're late.
>> We know what happens next." She kicks
their ass off.
>> Putting the commentary track inside the
actual movie.
What? I know this is a computer code
world, but she just literally went sue
storm. Also, if she can do that, why did
she wait until now? And why doesn't she
do it again anytime later?
How the hell did he know to come
directly here? Is this the only other
door on this street after the hotel? The
hell?
>> The more you like, the more you found.
Story of my life. [sighs]
>> I mean, is that surprising? The more I
listen, the more I hear, the more I
touch, the more I feel. The more you
eat, the more. Am I profound
incorrectly?
>> I am
Morpheus.
>> There is zero reason this version of
Morpheus couldn't have been played by
Fishburn. I mean, other than money or
the almighty scheduling, which usually
just means money. Morpheus being younger
here and even a nanobot in the real
world does not necessitate a new actor,
but whatever. I'm not sure why this
movie is playing in theater 1. I get the
sense it should be an eight. If nothing
else, this movie is teaching me that
modern agents, aka goddamn computer
programs, can't aim for [ __ ] They can
do intricate kung fu moves, but their
computer brains are just not capable of
aiming worth a damn, apparently. Okay,
lots to unpack here. First of all, this
is the office of the most famous
designer of the most popular video game
of all time. This, it looks like the
office of an everyday Wall Street bro.
Second, the monitor setup on this desk
is chaotic neutral at best, but the far
top left laptop is virtually unseeable
from Neo's current position.
>> Billions of people just living out their
lives oblivious.
>> Hey, I remember that line from the
Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for this
second scene. And then it's on to
something new, right? Right.
>> I mean, omg.
>> Saying OMG like this when saying oh my
god takes literally no more syllables.
It's like taking a shortcut when the
difference between the shortcut and the
regular route is zero. I'm sure you can
understand why our beloved parent
company Warner Brothers has decided to
make a sequel to the trilogy.
>> If you ever wondered at what point self-
reference turned into self-parody, I
think we found it. Everything is so on
the surface already here that there is
no audience reward for exploration or
nuance. This movie is going from meta to
meta real fast. That's the thing about
stories. They never really end, do they?
>> I don't know. The movie Presumed
Innocent sure ended. Apollo 13 ended.
Hm. Maybe this is just bad hyperbole.
We're still telling the same stories
we've always told, just with different
names, different faces. The MCU.
>> Thomas, you are a suicide survivor
gifted with a powerful imagination.
>> This will not be the last time this
movie uses suicide as a direct metaphor
for escaping a fake reality. And it will
also not be the last time I sit it for
doing so.
>> Do you need a refill on your
prescription?
>> Yeah. I wish this movie was making a
statement about overprescribing mental
health patients who might be treatable
with therapy and exercise alone. But
it's really just using therapy and drugs
as metaphors for prison shackles, which
is an outdated way of thinking regarding
mental health. And it's pretty offensive
actually. The pills are blue. Get it?
Because he took the red pill in the
first movie. Do you get it? Do you get
it?
Ah, taking pills without water or other
liquid like some kind of monster. having
Christina Richi and wasting her in this
single scene. Matrix Resurrections
making the timely and original point
that maybe we spend too much time on our
mobile devices.
>> People want us up in their gray space.
>> He just said that in a different outfit
in a different scene. So, is the movie
saying every day is the same but
different? Or are these employees just
repeating themselves every meeting? Do
these all represent times Neo tried to
get out or kill himself but then got
reset?
>> Mindless action [music] is not on brand.
>> And the movie will go on to be mostly
filled with uninventive mindless action.
There are those who think this movie was
made bland and unenjoyable on purpose as
a kind of commentary about modern
remakes and sequels when in reality it
is a movie that is making a commentary
on remakes and sequels that just so
happens to also be pretty bland and
unenjoyable. Showing me Neo taking a
[ __ ] in a public bathroom. If you look
up the word subtle in a dictionary,
there would be a picture of this movie
and the text would say the opposite of
this.
>> Obviously, the Matrix is about trans
politics,
>> cryptofascism. [music]
>> It's a metaphor
>> of capitalist exploitation. One of the
things I think this movie does really
well here is skewer all the
self-important philosophical articles
and thesis written about the original
that were just seeing what they wanted
to see. And yet most of the critics,
even those who liked this movie, seem to
think the main theme is about reboots in
the iPhone age. Anyway, that's a sendoff
for this movie regardless. Get it? In
the first movie, he said a place had
really good noodles. Do you get it? Do
you get it? Maybe you don't want to take
these pills. I can get down with that.
But putting them all down the sink drain
is a plumbing nightmare in the making.
Just use the trash, man.
>> We need new bullet time. I do 100%
believe WB executives said this at one
point. So, the sin is for WB executives.
>> We [clears throat] need to revolutionize
gaming again. Revolutionize gaming
again.
>> Again, I ask, are they just doing the
same meeting over and over? Are these
all different incarnations of Neo's new
reality? I recognize that the repetition
reinforces the remake reboot rebukes,
but reckon we can receive a reason for
it.
>> How do you know if you want something
yourself or if your upbringing
programmed you to want it? Preachers kid
here checking in. And the answer is you
don't know ever.
>> I should get more therapy, but honestly,
I'm too goddamn tired.
>> H weird. This movie has already kind of
mishandled therapy by making the analyst
a literal gatekeeper for Neo. But here
we are again disparaging therapy by
making it sound exhausting. And while
sometimes therapy sessions can be
emotionally draining, depending on the
subject matter, the characterization of
therapy as something to endure has long
been a stigma that keeps people from
getting help.
>> Can I ask something about your game?
>> Stop asking if you can ask something.
Did you base your main character on
yourself?
>> For as much as this movie seems to want
to decry nostalgia based income
streamlining, it sure goes heavy on
giving us those hits of scenes from the
first movie. Can a thing both chastise a
thing and be the thing at the same time?
If hypocrisy was a business model, don't
you think we'd have figured it out by
now?
>> My youngest stuck a Lego up his nose?
>> Kids, at last.
>> Hey, I remember that line from the
Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for this
third scene. And then it's on to
something new, right? Right.
>> This can't be happening.
>> Do you mean the fire sprinklers? True.
They usually have individual heat-based
release capsules, so none of the ones in
this room should be sensing near enough
heat to go off. Unless, of course, they
were programmed this way as part of the
machine's penchant for cinematic
water-based action scenes. Naming the
company Deus Machina in the background
while the new young digital Morpheus
does impossible to shoot all the bad
guys does not absolve you from new young
digital Morpheus being a Deus Xmachina
in this scene.
>> I've missed you.
>> So, they hid Agent Smith inside Neo's
boss at the video game company. Really?
I will kindly sit on my porch every
Monday for 20 years waiting for someone
to deliver me a good reason why. When
the machines rebuilt a new matrix, Agent
Smith ended up as Neo's video game boss.
What the evering [ __ ] with the
helling goddamn.
>> I heard deja vu outside. Open my door
and there you are.
>> If the machines are trying to keep all
this on the down low, why would they
name the cat deja vu? Are they
programmed with an Easter egg delivery
directive? Look, real talk. I've done
therapy a bunch in my life. At my count,
at least six different offices, and none
of them ever look like Hannibal Lecter's
Federal Hill 5,000 ft² apartment. God
damn, this is a huge and pretentious
therapy office. How can anyone
concentrate with all the ego stroking
going on in this room's decor?
>> Even your dislike of my cat made it into
your matrix.
>> Wait, I thought you said he came to you
after he tried to jump off a building at
a party we can see was clearly thrown
after the success of the video game. So,
how exactly did he name the cat in the
Matrix Déja Vu before he even knew you?
These machines are sloppy, man. And even
when they try to justify their [ __ ]
they're easily contradicted. There are
so many clips from the other films that
I swear I would believe you if you told
me you can construct the entire Matrix
trilogy from the flashbacks in this
movie.
>> I fly or I fall.
>> Using suicide as an explicit metaphor
for escaping a fake reality again. There
was a window washer outside the office
when Neo was getting in trouble in the
first movie. So I guess literally
everything has to be the same in this
movie.
>> They don't look like typical agents.
They use bots [music] now skin as normal
people. And with that, the movie gives
itself permission to mow down as many
human appearing people as it pleases
since they aren't real humans. You see?
>> And that when I did, you would be ready
for this.
>> A tattoo of a rabbit from a game that
millions of people have played. How is
this supposed to build trust? For all he
knows, you're a stalky, stalky fan girl.
>> We don't have to run to phone booths
anymore either.
>> Mostly because mirrors are more
metaphorical and cinematic and phone
booths don't exist anymore. But yeah,
technology.
>> Nothing comforts anxiety like little
nostalgia.
>> Try therapy and meds. Thanks for playing
you think you know mental health. We
will see everyone next time when Captain
America says nothing defeats fear and
PTSD quite like optimism.
>> Time is always against us.
>> Hey, I remember that line from the
Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for
this. You know what? This is going to
happen a lot. So, let's just add 20 sins
for this being say the line Bart the
movie and move on.
>> Hide me. I've been at a company making a
game called The Matrix.
>> Neo would be an anagram for the one at
Cinema Sense.
>> We've been checking that company for
years. We screened every Thomas Anderson
we found. What we didn't understand was
that they could alter your DSI.
>> Hold up. They named him Thomas freaking
Anderson and had him design a game
called The Matrix. And you couldn't find
him in here because they checking notes
changed his character skin. [laughter]
[laughter]
>> Keep the loop tight.
>> And McGuffin the widgets lance through
the Nianis fraud. I need to see movement
on that unspecified but important
technology. People, let's go, go, go.
They went to great lengths to keep Neo
alive for 60 years, but now they're just
firing missiles that could easily kill
him. I can't follow any of this cut to
death action. I think at one point I saw
a sharpened sucker stick and maybe an
elbow to the face. This series, even the
two sequels most people don't love, has
long been known for inventive and
highquality action till this entry. What
in the name of Hypercut Mcshaky Cam is
this nonsense? And no, it's not a
commentary on something. Anyone in the
comments that explains sins in this
video by saying it's a commentary on is
disinvited to the family reunion.
>> Think perspective. Closer you are,
bigger it gets.
>> Advice I gave to my college girlfriend
somehow makes it into the script. Also,
this works. I think I seen this film
before and I didn't like the ending. Eh,
he doesn't have a side view of her head
and face. He is directly across from her
pod. He can maybe see her feet. These
machines are designed like bugs and
violently grab him by the neck and push
him under the amniotic fluid before
saving it instead of presenting
themselves as friendly because movie has
to squeeze every ounce of false tension
out of us before we get bored and look
at our phones
being able to hide from squidies this
easily. As they fly around and Neo takes
in all the [ __ ] I'm reminded about the
first movie and the first time he was
pulled out of the Matrix and his eyes
didn't work because he had never used
them. But now, after not using them for
60 years in the Neutrix, he's able to
see perfectly as soon as he's unplugged.
What's up, Doc?
>> Having a character named Bug say this
just because you can't.
>> But see, they don't know you like I do.
>> But all you know is what he wrote for
you, right? You're his program inside
the program. And shouldn't the Docbots
be able to interpret that coding? This
Morpheus is literally a weak faximile of
the real thing. And the fact that the
movie thinks we're buying into this is
dumber than forcehiring a director to
sabotage her own intellectual property.
>> No, I'm done fighting.
>> [ __ ] you know that's not true. And
you're just adding to the length of this
thing. So get your ass out there and
[ __ ] do some kung fu. Nufus thinks
the best way to help Neo's physical body
would be to fight in the construct, but
when Smith was beating the out of Neo in
the first movie in the subway, plugged
in Neo on the ship was shaking and
convulsing and bleeding. I know he's
trying to stimulate Neo's mind in the
hopes that the mind will help the body,
but this is a terrible idea.
See, also I'd give all the sense back if
this fight scene cut to the Morpheus is
fighting Neo kid scrolling on his phone
and yawning. So, Neo destroys the
fighting realm, maybe the construct
itself, and then wakes up in his
bedroom. What about his vitals? Did he
use the one powers to put all his
molecules back into place and hold them
there?
>> When this new version of the Matrix was
uploaded, there was a purge.
>> You keep that revenge fantasy violence
porn franchise out of my matrix. Do you
think once a year WB gives its execs a
green light to murder franchises with no
repercussions? It would explain a lot.
Also, that there was a purge is the only
explanation we get for why the Oracle is
gone. It's fascinatingly lazy writing.
>> Promised peace and they gave us purge.
>> They also pee at paradise and put up a
parking lot.
Sequoa, but everybody calls me Seek.
>> If your real name is Sequoa, why do they
call you Seek instead of Seek? This
would be like shortening Rihanna to Ry
instead of Riri.
>> You knew my grandfather, Captain Roland.
>> Hey, that's really
[snorts]
>> whenever you're feeling up for it. I've
got like a million questions.
>> That's not weird at all. But also,
aren't we trying to save the world or
what? Jesus.
>> What is that?
>> An exomorphic particle codeex. Oh,
>> it gives programs access to this world
within limits.
>> Didn't the program Smith come into this
world in human form in the original
trilogy, though? I guess this is a
humane way for programs to come to this
world, but you make it sound all
original and
>> Morpheus.
Thank you.
>> Neato shakes hands with a tiny bot
version of his mentor that he partially
recreated in a modal, which is to say,
Neo knocks Knuckles with a naked nano
knowledge neighbor not native to this
narrative with nar negative notion on
the entire encounter. How does it work?
>> Paramagnetic oscillation.
>> Oh you movie rejected dialogue for this
moment included trans electronic
positration. Abso prefect nebulation
ticto vagentic speculation and
endocronomic supra frustrust.
>> Even if it were Trinity and she wanted
to be free. We have no idea how to do it
>> yet.
>> Yet cliche.
>> That looks real.
>> Bio Sky works kind of like grow lights.
>> Wait, is that a weed joke? Is there weed
in the year 2247 or whatever? Did Neo
ever show any signs of being a weed guy?
Oh. Oh, wait. Apparently, grow lights
are for any kind of indoor plant, and
I've just projected myself onto this
scene. [laughter] What? What is weed,
though? I certainly do not know. Is it
just me or is this old age makeup
terrible? It looks like the instruction
was to make it look like Jada mixed with
the William Shatner mask from Halloween.
Cocoon 3. Jada. I'm looking forward to
it. But just to be clear, that's not a
joke about Jada at all. Just about the
makeup department. I wouldn't want to
get slapped with a lawsuit.
>> Transfer your access codes. You are
done, [music] Captain. Oh no. I can't
believe she lost her. I don't really
give much of a [ __ ] She'll be back.
Nothing matters.
>> Zion was stuck in the past. Stuck in
war.
>> I don't know. They had all those engines
to keep the city running and the peace
mosh pits. You grew a strawberry and
suddenly you're enlightened. I'm sure
the overandling here is the entire
point. But who is maintaining this? And
why are they 15 ft tall?
>> Nothing can breed violence like scarcity
>> or oppression or dictatorships or racism
and genocide. Sporting events in
Vancouver. And a lot of things breed
violence as well as or better than
scarcity. Neo gets in prison, goes to
his balcony, and is immediately rescued.
Patting the runtime called, and it's
filing suit for impersonation. General
Jada Smith watches the escaped Neo and
company take off, and she does nothing.
This will be important in a few minutes
when she inexplicably sends forces after
them to bring them all back to IO. Huh.
But it looks like the mirror reflection
is of this hotel room we see on the
right. But the reflections table has a
chair in the wrong place and a full
bouquet of orange flowers. While the
right has a chair way out of sight and a
single flower in the centerpiece. I
guess they're hoping people will be
distracted by that Eiffel Tower. But
there are loads of differences here that
I could go on for days about.
Predictable as ever. Oh, hey. Not quite,
Agent Smith. It's been like an hour. You
good? Just chilling in the Matrix
waiting for Neo to come back so the
movie can once again wash, rinse, and
repeat. At least the movie isn't forcing
some sort of meravenian reference. It is
you.
>> Well, as with Morpheus, there is zero
reason why this should be played by a
new actor other than again scheduling
difficulties, which just means money.
Easy to see how Jonathan Grath, bless
him, is cheaper than Hugo Weaving is at
this point. No,
>> all you have to do is stay out of the
Matrix and leave the good doctor to me.
>> Somehow, in the last 60 years, Smith has
grown more angry at the analyst, who is
just a new architect, than Neo, which is
surprising considering Neo is the one
who beat his ass multiple times over
multiple films. What the MV is trying to
say is
>> the MV? The MV? What the [ __ ] is this
movie? And can we get to the part where
the knee and the Trin finally get back
together? Sure, there's a lot of stuff
going on here. Not sure exactly what,
but people seem to be occasionally shaky
cam hitting each other while the feral
venian is shouting things like suck my
silky ass and couch flicks climatey wiki
piss and and honestly, what more does a
Matrix fan really need?
>> Originality
mattered. The guy yelling originality
mattered is from the sequel to the first
Matrix film. And that perhaps is
everything wrong with this movie. It
wants to say whatever it wants about
itself, even if it contradicts previous
films, and then get all bulletproof if
someone dares to question the official
narrative.
>> I still kung fu.
[applause]
While Neo fights Smith inside the
Matrix, I'm still wondering about how he
takes all these hits without suffering
back at the ship in human form. You
know, like he did even when Morpheus was
kind of pretend fighting him. He's 100
years old, godamn it. And this movie
just wants me to forget that whenever
it's convenient. Wait, who are these
people Bugs is fighting? Wait, it
doesn't matter. Carry on then. Did Neo
just generate a force field? Why are
there force fields all of a sudden? And
more importantly, why would he ever stop
generating them? Trinity's new vocation
and his motorcycle builder repairer. And
like everything else in this film, it's
a little on the nose. Imagine if Neo
found her and she was a cupcake
decorator. And then Neo could be all
like cupcakes. Wo,
>> I don't have a lot of time.
>> Cool. Skip. Old Dr. Hower using this
bullet time nonsense to slow down Neo is
certainly [ __ ] but did it have to
look like actual, too? What's up with
this janky low frame rate crap? Why does
this movie want everything to look
worse?
>> Did you know hope and despair are nearly
identical in code?
>> This movie is full of these little
pearls of not wisdom that it thinks are
super deep, but are really just
nonsense. Did you know that anxiety is
the only cure for comfort? Did you know
that an evil bear and a gentle bear
share almost all the same atoms? And the
director said, "Yeah, sure. The
character has been evil monologuing for
the last 5 minutes and blatantly
torturing our protagonist. But just in
case people were still wondering if he's
truly an [ __ ] let's do the whole
apple biting thing because I'd hate for
anything in this movie to be subtle."
>> You and her quietly yearning for what
you don't have.
>> I guess he thinks he can just reboot
them or something. But even so, why give
this whole I win, I'm better than you
speech, detailing your whole plan. If
you do reboot them, then no one will
ever remember this speech, making it
even stupider. It's so odd to me that
the first three movies went out of their
way to make the city in the Matrix seem
like any city or every city. But in the
fourth movie, they were all like, "Let's
just do San Francisco." And they call
that a choice.
>> We get it already. Choice is an
illusion. This is like the fourth time
you said it already, and I'm still no
closer to understanding why you don't
have enough exomorphic particles to
complete the back of your head. Did the
exomorphic factory run short on them?
And we're back in IO. This movie is
playing hopscotch,
>> which she exercised with her own
particular brand of shortsighted
stupidity.
>> Do you think they cut a bunch of stuff?
Maybe. I can't for the life of me
understand why she was wisfully hoping
for the best as she watched them fly
away yesterday, but now she's all pissed
off about it. The locations aren't the
only part of this movie playing
hopscotch.
>> My father designed the resurrection pods
where Neo and Trinity were imprisoned.
>> NO, [screaming]
WAIT, DO I CARE ABOUT THAT?
>> A few hours ago. Say, is that Bug
standing there at detention receiving
this military mission briefing? Didn't
you demote her and there was going to be
a court marshal? I think, right? I love
how discipline only really matters in
times of peace.
>> I need two more.
>> Are you out of your minds?
You don't even know what it is.
>> You're the one that asked for two
volunteers without giving the mission
details first.
>> The passages used to rescue Neo are now
sealed.
>> The machines had only left them unsealed
for something they referred to as the
plotinduced exhaust port coralering. We
don't know exactly what it means, but we
will have to think of a new and exciting
rescue for what we're temporarily
calling the third act.
>> In order to unplug Trinity's body while
her mind still remains connected to the
Matrix, I'm going to need a second human
brain to implement the bypass.
>> Whatever, dude. Just get on with it. My
other favorite part is how the machines
are like, "Oh no, Neo escaped. I bet
he's coming back for Trinity. Seal off
his escape routes and post a bunch of
Sentinels by the tower." But that whole
area right next to Trinity, keep that
surveillance free. Wouldn't want to
overdo it. This is where it gets tricky.
>> Using the cords and tentacles to
strategically cover the specific parts
of the human body our culture has deemed
inappropriate. Yep. Super tricky. I
don't think it's very fair that Neo has
to try and explain everything to Trinity
and give her a choice while a 100
heavily armed FBI and SWAT guys all
stand around eavesdropping.
>> See, this is Loco. Lies, lies, and more
lies.
Smith.
>> Yep. Because Smith can apparently
operate in the analyst bullet time when
Neo can't and also just happens to be
here at the exact moment Neo needs
saving for a Smithious Xmacha. Sure, why
not? If the goal for the movie was to
create the most confusing and
indecipherable action scene possible,
I'd say they hit the jackpot when they
landed on Mosh Pit with guns. Nicely
done. Making this movie all about Neo
and Trinity's love was a mistake. Neo
and Trinity's relationship was always a
blandest storyline in the original
films. While Neo versus Smith never
failed to crackle, this movie puts the
boring story line up front and basically
makes Smith an ally. There's subverting
expectations and then there's just in
the bed.
>> I don't suppose he can still [music]
fly?
>> Yeah, that's not happening.
>> Does this movie want to give any
reasoning for why things are or aren't
happening? Or are we just supposed to
laugh at this projectile dysfunction
joke and move on? And if so, sorry about
forgetting to do the laugh part.
>> How is she? [music] Lifelines are good.
>> What? When they unplug Neo, he was near
death immediately and he had to go fight
Morpheus at a fake dojo to get his mojo
back, which somehow then kept his
hundred-y old body together. No one will
be seated while the Matrix 4 goes full
Night of the Living Dead.
So Neo is forces sensitive then. But
again, how least the movie could have
done is give us a training montage with
Obi-Wan Naobbi. I'm not going to show it
to you. So here's a picture of the
Catric poster while we chat. But the
movie will now enter a section that's
one of the most tonedeaf scenes in all
of film. As a technicality allows the
movie to have hundreds of people hurl
themselves out windows and off
buildings, triggering everyone from
folks with suicidal ideiation to people
still grappling with post 911 PTSD to
survivors of suicide victims and more.
The Wowskis deserve a lot of praise for
the inclusivity of different races and
sexualities in their films. But between
this and Cloud Atlas, it's beginning to
look like they have a blind spot to the
issue of suicidal imagery. It is
nighttime when they enter this building,
but full-on dawn when they exit to the
roof. That's not how the sun works. Why
are they shooting at Neo? The analyst
wants them alive. No. Or has he switched
to if I can't have them, no one can.
This whole scene just plays like two
kids playing with toys. I wouldn't be
surprised if we cut to one of them
shouting, "Well, I brought my
helicopters, the E force field dogs."
Cool. Awesome. Beautiful. Love it. Wow.
But um how Okay, so he was going to
fall, but Trinity is the one now and can
fly, so she saved him. But earlier in
the movie, Bug said she saw Neo jump off
a building and he did not fall. So why
is he falling now?
>> We were on our way to remake your world.
>> Can't the machines just like flash the
firmware or power it off and back on or
something? This is all a software
construct still, right? I'm all for the
Trinio union, but I have no idea how any
of this helps either the real world or
the long-term viability of the Matrix.
It's almost like to sort it all out,
they will need some koas. Seoas, they
need to plant some sequoas is all I
meant. Please don't make more movies. As
Neo and Trinity fly into the sky exactly
like Neo at the end of the first film,
it's important to note that while I have
sinned all the excessive callbacks to
the first three movies, I will still sin
the fact that they somehow couldn't get
a Rage Against the Machine song to end
this movie. Well, it's a rage song, but
it's a cover of what you ask? The same
song that ended the first movie. God
damn.
>> What we need is a series of videos that
we call the cat tricks.
>> They actually filmed this also. Oh, holy
noles. This movie is 2 and 1/2 hours
long.
>> Pills are good.
>> Pills are good.
>> Get up here.
>> Wiggle your big toe.
>> The answer is out there, Neo.
It's looking for you
and it will find you.
>> And I will kill you.
Understand?
Then hit me if you can.
>> Sweep the leg.
>> You have a problem with that.
>> Got the basic layout. Bookstore, cafe.
Almost everything else is here, too.
>> Who are the people?
>> Projections in my subconscious.
>> It's yours.
>> Yes. Remember, you are the dreamer. You
build this world. I am the subject. My
mind populates. You can literally talk
to my subconscious. That's one of the
ways we extract information from the
subject.
>> We're going in.
>> Taking Neo to see her.
>> See who? The Oracle.
>> Who is this?
>> It's Jake from State Farm.
>> What are you wearing? Jake from State
Farm.
>> Uh, khakis.
>> She sounds hideous.
>> I'm not afraid anymore.
Told me that I would fall in love and
that that man,
the man that I loved, would be the one,
everyone.
Listen up. At the edge of our hope, at
the end of our time, we have chosen not
only to believe in ourselves, but in
EACH OTHER. WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO
THE NIGHT. We will not vanish without a
fight.
We're going to live on.
We're going to survive.
Today, WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE
DAY.
here right now.
>> Yes. Steve, don't come yet.
>> You feel this?
>> I'll never let go.
>> All right, guys. Uh, listen this little
blues riff and be watch me for the
changes and try and keep up. Okay.
He's after the Dragon Ball. Is it safe?
It has begun.
>> If you're looking for a berserk night
out in in the New York, I know just the
place for you. New York's hottest club
is Whimsy. Condemned by Glad and the EPA
from Ghostbusters.
This old wet band-aid found in a in a
jacuzzi is the kind of place that makes
you feel weird the next time you see
your parents.
>> Oh no,
they're
>> my eyes. The goggles do nothing.
[music]
>> SPARTANS,
WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION? [screaming]
>> COMRADES, our own fleet doesn't know our
full potential. They will do everything
possible to test us, but they will only
test their own embarrassment.
>> We will pass through the American
patrols, pass their sonets, and lay off
their largest city and listen to their
rock and roll while we conduct missile
drills.
>> Get you.
>> I'm going to get you.
>> I'm going to swim with you.
>> I'm going to get you.
>> I'm going to be your best friend.
>> Good feelings gone. I am
kind.
>> What a beautiful day to be alive. Am I
right? Problemmo.
>> No problemmo.
>> I needed coffee.
>> Put that coffee down.
>> Oh, rubber ducky. You're the one.
>> Life insurance.
>> Bingo was his name.
>> All right. You want me to check him out?
>> It's from way UP HERE. YOU ALL LOOK LIKE
LITTLE ANTS.
>> But it wasn't a dream. It was a place.
And you and you and you and you were
there.
>> Do or do not. There is no trying.
>> Before we get started,
>> does anyone want to get out?
>> You never appreciated our relationship.
>> You think you're my greatest enemy.
>> Yes. You're obsessed with me.
>> No, I'm not.
>> Yes, you are.
>> No, I'm not.
>> YES, YOU ARE.
>> WHO ELSE DRIVES YOU TO ONEUP THEM THE
way that I do,
>> Bane? We can't go back.
>> We have to go back, Kate. The sheeple
aren't going anywhere. They like my
world. They don't want this
sentimentality. They don't want freedom
or empowerment. You want to be fooled.