[00:12] our Yoda 2026 needs a reminder that the Empire in Star Wars was evil. Also, this is serving absolutely nobody. It's not detailed enough to be useful to anyone patronizingly vague to anyone who has. Also, also, reading.
[00:27] >> Opening your Star Wars movie with a phrase never uttered by the Star Wars >> Long live the Empire. >> Hmm, I think I kind of like this actor and his villainous husky tones. It's refreshing to have a movie actually open
[00:40] sit with them. Long live Imperial loyal Wait, why is he so low in the credits? I Jon Favreau going up to the AD and saying, "I think just having six humans sitting around the table is boring. What if we gave the guy sitting in the middle
[00:55] of weird nose?" The AD thought that was a stupid [ __ ] idea, but they also weird nose alien man. >> I am raising the tribute. >> But your Excellency, we are operating at
[01:07] >> Star Wars movie thinks the only way it can get us rock hard in the first 2 minutes is by trade negotiations of some sort. Stop Phantom Menacing on the rug, Star Wars. Bad Star Wars. Bad. >> The trade routes are plagued with
[01:19] >> Threatening us with a pirating good time that we will never see in this movie. leader thought his please, sir, can we I can only assume he took one for the writing team by offering himself as
[01:31] tribute to cement the main guy's villainy. Also, I see them all over the a function, but does anyone actually use the [ __ ] scope on these guns? >> Sounds like a perimeter alarm. >> Sounds like? Question mark. It sounds
[01:44] easily distinguishable from any other alarm. Also, perimeter alarms that sound been breached. Maybe it wasn't the perimeter alarm after all. Has anyone >> I'll send reinforcements. >> He's sending for reinforcements by mouse
[01:59] droid instead of radio because it's more secure, more durable, so it can polish the movie with some very coy shots of Mando kicking snowtrooper butt as if we one hijacked season of The Book of Boba Fett worth of him kicking butt in full
[02:14] decided to go out like a [ __ ] instead of using his gun from way the [ __ ] away. being foot humbled in the ribcage. >> Lay down cover fire. >> You want a galactic hubris it takes to tax your people and then expect them to
[02:28] take up arms to cover your escape would make even Dark King George blush. it will open the door instead of making it permanently unopenable. And the door these laser blasts coming from? Did the elevator not have a roof? Or did he get
[02:42] off, let the elevator continue, and then reopen the door from whatever floor he upwards? >> By all accounts, it doesn't make sense. [ __ ] said it. Fight me, nerds. Apparently, there's only room for one
[02:54] Grogu wants you to [ __ ] know about it. The thing they never tell you is these helmets, you apparently lose tenfold in peripheral hearing. Also, an AT-ST should not be easier to hijack than my Chevy Equinox. We like the scene
[03:08] of the robot emu deftly navigating this steep downhill climb as a direct cue to anyone who has bemoaned all the AT variants for being unnecessarily gangly think it's unnecessarily gangly, awkward, and full of [ __ ]
[03:21] >> Did you get him? How would you even know where he was coming from to be able to the path he would take? It was a [ __ ] up path to take. Also, these snowy trailer. Meaning, the trailers are little more than a creepy man in a van
[03:35] favorite Star Wars toys. You won't regret it." And I did, in fact, regret Empire might have been all the casualties they suffered from piss-poor situational awareness cuz I'm not buying that the people who invented Death Stars
[03:48] with something less gangly and awkward for this knife-edge cliffhanger. Movie flirts with becoming a full-on John Wick-alorian and Grogu but never quite delivers. Why is shooting the ceiling and making this prop fall on the trooper
[04:01] Seems odd to me that the immediate destruction of the head of an AT-AT would result in it immediately falling down. That makes sense if it's a living thing like an elephant, but they're not elephants, right? The utility and
[04:13] you're about to yeet boot into snow oblivion is hard to justify >> Auto fire >> Updating the audience with [ __ ] you'd Got to make sure Pedro is earning those Disney bucks, I guess. Fortunately for
[04:26] Mando, these grenades are set on a go off only when the good guy has done what timer. >> No, it's better if you bring him in >> I enjoy how movies spinning off from TV shows act like you don't need to know
[04:39] throw characters in that were not only in some of the said TV show, but are also more popularly known from another goddamn show in the franchise. So, have to do homework, but for also having the audacity to tell me I did the wrong
[04:53] homework at the same time. >> You see, you catch the bad guy and they tell us where the other bad guys are. >> Sub splaners. A quick PSA that 99% of your enjoyment of this movie stems from Ludwig Göransson's bad-ass [ __ ]
[05:05] score. It will add approximately 1,000 units of fun to even the most mundane on. Tony Scott's Star Wars: The credit done so much heavy lifting to erase the two people who actually play
[05:18] the Mandalorian. Also, it will never not be weird to see a movie in a galaxy far, credits. This is not the way. This [ __ ] not R2-D2 good-ass droid tease. This second [ __ ] not R2-D2 shit-ass Wait, IT'S R2-D2. YEAH. IS HOW
[05:35] this. You know, in the same way a meatball sub is based on a food created let's not be kidding ourselves here. The entirety of this dialogue-less walk and closing door that does nothing for nobody. Also, 1 minute and 50 seconds on
[05:49] a theme I love but can hear at any time and don't want to hear while we sit through this space smash establishing scene in an already 2 hour and 11 minute Very messy. >> Discount Sigourney we Oh holy [ __ ]
[06:03] idea that Sigourney Weaver might eventually be put into cryosleep and then defrosted anytime a struggling franchise needs an injection of badass. >> This isn't about revenge. It's about preventing another war.
[06:16] that want to start another war would in fact prevent another war. Maybe Mando's not going about it the most ethical way, but you both clearly have the same this one? >> You're getting paid, all right.
[06:29] >> Where did you get one of these? >> It's from a captured Imperial Commandant vehicles. >> She said I don't know, but Jon Favreau said we had to strangely. Also, if the ship is so important that you have to
[06:42] contrive yourself back into a discount version Razor Crest, why destroy the [ __ ] thing in the first place? Also, also, I know this is supposed to be for internally? Was he really all that attached to the Razor Crest? Mando
[06:54] strikes me as a being of utility, not sentimentality. Is there a part of the specifically? >> What next mission? >> Why does he sound surprised? He just
[07:07] >> Just give me time. I'll take out every bad guy in your deck of cards. missions, right? Also, the Republic has taken a Sub Act deck and used it to keep track of wanted Imperial nasties and then distribute their likeness details
[07:20] like the CIA using a deck of cards as America's most wanted list. Don't give me ideas. >> Commander Coin, >> Handing a silhouette to a bounty hunter and pretending that's in any way useful
[07:34] of many bad things stick. >> I don't work for gangsters anymore, especially the Hutts. >> You don't want the job. >> This makes it seem like the New Republic is the only game in town for legendary
[07:47] go work for someone else? Or hunt Imps on his own? There seems to be a whole >> I didn't say yes. >> You didn't say area instead of giving us a solid reason for Mando going back on his word to
[08:01] >> She's stuck, but she's clean. >> The five-word assessment that lost me my Kids. >> That's a lot of firepower here. laundry list of enemies have decided to heavily defend their fortress of
[08:15] observed. >> Looks like they hired the droid Gotra. interesting story about a group of self-emancipated droids fighting for independence, but only giving it a singular sentence worth of explanation.
[08:28] Mandalorian season 3 episode 6? >> Hutts been the head of criminal >> Talking to your cute apprentice while nerds planning directly to an audience who might have just turned up to the Star Wars party for the cute apprentice.
[08:41] >> I'm told he can lead us to the Imperial fugitive Commander Thorne. assigned giving Mando the card with a silhouette, but showing it to the Hutts is just asking for my wrath. This is so [ __ ] dumb and pointless. He may as
[08:53] paper. >> Think of how you would feel if your went missing. >> I'm guessing this sudden change to English, which is something we very rarely see the Hutts do, is so we won't
[09:06] be shocked when Jeremy Allen White is allowed to exclusively speak New York >> What does he look like? >> What? How many 16-ft 3,000-lb slugs is they sending Mando to hunt baby Sinclair?
[09:18] >> Not the mama. >> If things get messy, I can call in an >> I know the drill. >> Okay, Mando, but we don't. Zeb was filling us in in case we didn't know and decide to send the fact. Thanks, Zeb.
[09:31] >> The only thing Martin Scorsese says whenever outcome is mentioned and makes it into the movie. Also, if a movie has a character voiced by Martin Scorsese, we have to be sure to give said character large bushy eyebrows so
[09:44] Martin Scorsese providing the voice. Cliche. guy's a monster. >> Bribing the locals before looking at the bribe the locals. No one knew they needed swole Hutts until it happened. No
[09:58] to voice said swole Hutt until it happened. In fact, no one knew they needed either of these things so much that we probably would have gone on just fine had neither thing ever happened. >> It doesn't seem like a prisoner to me.
[10:11] the episode of Star Trek where The Rock made his acting debut. >> What makes you think they need rescuing? >> Uh the bars? to what? >> You know how hard it is to be your own
[10:24] >> Skip. >> Where can I find Lord Jana? >> Why is he asking Martin Scorsese again instead of just asking Rotta? Wouldn't those Scorsese bucks and dammit, they're going to get their money's worth. Living
[10:38] and not having a lock on your mobile kitchen. It's to cover his tab. >> Paying off the establishment your kid is stealing from instead of just teaching your [ __ ] kid not to [ __ ] steal.
[10:50] >> Shady bar goes silent when a villain's name is mentioned. Cliche. This eye sure you follow the code of fighting him one maximum two at a time so he has a >> Hugs breath, clean up. >> Star Wars names that leave me wondering
[11:06] just an insult. >> Salt is of no value to me where I'm from. But here it's worth a small fortune because it's rationed >> This is so specific. Are they rationing other things as well? It's like the
[11:21] gas would be too obvious. Let's go for something really alien like salt. >> He does not. >> This buys a lot of salt where I'm from. with a big bag of salt. >> My dear boy, there's no price high
[11:35] >> The reason for this is that he's going to kill Radda in his last fight and make a ton of money from betting against the favorite. So, there is a price and that price is literally however much he makes from that plus a few grains of salt.
[11:48] >> This is last fight ever. >> Janu will now tell Mando his plan to have Radda killed. But, why? Janu has zero clue why Mando wants to buy out Could be because they roomed together in college, became best friends over their
[12:03] love of Halo and cheese doodles and Mando will immediately go and tell Radda >> He's fighting a Dejarik match? >> He referenced the Star Wars chess game >> The people of Shikari would pay any price to see the rarest of sights, one
[12:18] of the legendary Mandalorian warriors engaging in blood sport. >> These are the same people who would also pay any price for salt, so don't let it considering you just told him that the plan for your current prize fighter is
[12:30] this is the incentive you think it is. straits if the only pet available at the Bald Villain Store was his parrot. sweet time rescuing that salt crystal that we know is worth a small fortune. I
[12:43] mean, horn repairing in this economy can't be cheap. The score currently is doing some weird convergence of the Mandalorian theme, Vangelis, and Daft Punk, which weirdly sounds like it would fit better in a movie like Maxine. And I
[12:55] >> Looks like we're going to have to do this THE HARD WAY. >> NOT A single security measure or camera will be seen protecting Janu's prize >> Twins want me dead because I'm heir to
[13:08] >> Star Wars trying to swing a Game of Thrones without us noticing. Except, and I notice things. >> I don't want to be anything like my >> Radda's one character trait is that he's trying to live life as a good Hutt in
[13:20] the shadow of a super evil daddy Hutt and they will pound this character trait into the ground about 57,000 more times. >> When I first started fighting, the >> What Rada doesn't know is that the booing had zero to do with his
[13:32] relationship to Jabba and 100% to do with everyone finding out he was a Mets >> Kid, fighting's not a sport. >> Disney missing the opportunity to draft in and Lin-Manuel and make this thing a
[13:45] full rap musical. Come on, kid, fighting's more than just a sport. You That's not the way, that's the end of the story, and no going back in time, no Mandalorian. I know Grogu was passed out
[13:57] for a while, probably from the gas, but he's not anymore. He has the goddamn force when he clearly needs to? It was annoying enough on the TV series, and movie. >> I'm not going to kill you.
[14:11] >> This is the third time this movie has felt the need to have Mando explain yet again how he's there to rescue Rada and not harm him. And it feels like it's at least the 15th. Pure unalloyed beskar armor or not, it's better the fighter
[14:24] all of Mando's bones survived this. This part of the score is currently doing some Mos Eisley Cantina version of the Rocky theme, and it's really goddamn doesn't even come close to being as exciting as any fight in a Rocky movie.
[14:37] And yeah, I'm [ __ ] counting Rocky V. >> You knocked him down, why don't you try knocking me down? >> Our only chance is to work together. >> Dialogue. I feel like it would have been cheaper and easier to just put some kind
[14:49] of glass ceiling on top of this pit, or like spikes on the walls, or make the paroling a bunch of dudes with zappy sticks on a laser grid that clearly creature design to feast our eyes on here. Sadly, that's where the creativity
[15:02] stopped, demonstrated by his few minutes of them swinging sticks and punching each other instead of doing anything actually alien. all I'm saying. You know what would be an even easier way for Grogu to get out
[15:18] of that cage? Using the goddamn force. Grogu is basically a [ __ ] Jedi. Act here. >> I honestly can't figure out at times if that Mando and Grogu won't get out of whatever dicey situation they've gotten
[15:32] movie, I know they're getting out of this one. So, [ __ ] your fake suspense in the tauntaun you suspensefully rode all the the way in on. Star Wars new motto is apparently, you can never have enough cute alien babies. I know I made the
[15:45] funny how quickly this movie decided to do its own version of Gremlins. What even does catch up with Rotta? Because based on the first 46 minutes of this Force. Also, since Mando usually carries
[15:58] see the point other than thinking we were dying to see him reunited with his version of a razor crest. In 1983, this chase scene probably would have been very exciting. In 2026, it looks like CGI slop chasing CGI slop taking the
[16:11] excitement level down to almost nonexistent. Deus Machina. >> You don't know that. >> He clearly does, and Mando honestly should, too. The TV series in this movie want us to think Mando is smart and has
[16:24] neither of those capabilities to be true. I can disappear. >> Considering how hated and feared the son, I don't think it's possible for him to disappear anywhere.
[16:37] >> When I bring you back to giving me the whereabouts of Commander Coin, a the outer rim. It's Jano. >> Of course it is. You know, if Lucas were still involved, it would be an entirely
[16:49] make a Comic-Con exclusive action figure out of him, but at least it wouldn't have been this convenient Coin being Jano nonsense. You know when someone's lying. >> You know that thing bounty hunters are
[17:01] >> This place is lousy with stormtroopers. >> Zeb accidentally inventing a better name worry, guys. It's just a lousy of stormtroopers. We'll be fine. Take it. Convenient blue screen thingy that is there in case a random Mandalorian shows
[17:15] chooses this specific room to capture him in is convenient. >> I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold. >> Why did Jenu take the time to set up the whole computer screen deception, but
[17:29] didn't have a better way to escape the room than the exact path Mando and Zeb >> Neither of us know how to fly and I can't even fit in the cockpit. fly, he should have figured out the couldn't fit in the cockpit part. This
[17:42] think Mando is a freaking idiot. >> Look for the ignition relay cutoff. route and have Grogu do something stupid like launch weapons instead of firing the ship up. Damn it. Also, the movie rips off the Guardians of the Galaxy
[17:57] any simple directions, making this one rip-offs that isn't directed or produced by James Gunn. >> It's on the other side of the manual control surface calibration.
[18:09] >> Mando continues to name very technical buttons even though it's clear Grogu these words mean. >> I don't think he knows what he's doing. >> Almost every old school Star Wars fans reaction to Dave Filoni since he took
[18:21] over Lucasfilm somehow made its way into the script. I said almost every and yes, I checked. I get they don't want Jenu captured, but how does shooting down a ship that he's in where he has a very good chance of dying help in any way?
[18:33] >> He said to the audience attempting to enjoy this movie. seatbelt. >> This movie is 54% the more you know >> There we go. >> Due to Disney's refusal to do any other
[18:45] kind of editing during action scenes than a hundred cuts every 10 seconds, I have [ __ ] all of a clue how Mando got to the there we go portion of events. There >> That doesn't look like a hut.
[18:58] >> That's racist. Also, Mando was supposed to bring Rota to the twins and not back discount Ripley expect him to have Rota with him at all? For all she knows, he location, caught him, and brought him in. If anything, she should be saying,
[19:11] faster than expected." >> Intelligence has been cultivating a long time. >> I mean, the good guys cultivating a guys as a positive. >> This one got messy.
[19:25] >> It is impressive and damning in equal measure how easily this movie could be cut into 6 22 to 26-minute episodes of a Disney Plus series. With the Anzellians gone way overboard on its little creature quota. They're trying way too
[19:40] hard to make the movie appear to be good because we all love little creatures. Also, movie contains Anzellians but does not contain one Amy Sedaris. >> Considering half this movie has shown Mando seemingly to go out of his way to
[19:52] believe Rotta. >> Wait here. If I say no, get out. >> But, he's not going to actually tell Grogu or the Anzellians what the signal is because he knows Grogu is going to ignore his ass anyway. Non-scary,
[20:06] crappy-looking CGI dog is non-scary, crappy-looking in CGI dog. >> That's a weird way to say, "Holy crap, I'm going to be eaten by this [ __ ] which is a perfect time to share that
[20:18] predictable that I actually should be thanking Disney for saving me from [ __ ] Not that I would have done it, but it's the thought that counts. And I'm damn thoughtful. Is there any other franchise this movie would like to steal
[20:32] dozen thefts so far. We had Rocky earlier and now Grogu Ramboing himself for Sylvester Stallone than Over the Top, Cobra, The Specialist, Stop! Or My combined. Listen, you got your trailer bait, fine. People ate this [ __ ] up, but
[20:48] taking this super tiny ship that Mando would never fit in to rescue Mando is an offense to my senses. I get all these people right up against the landing pad, smooshed by a ship landing are slim to none, but is it worth the risk? They can
[21:00] landed just as easily. >> Hot say, baby. >> Considering they knew they were set on a course for Nal Hutta to rescue Mando, surprise that they are going to be on a planet with hot. The Anzellians have
[21:14] >> [laughter] >> Okay, fine. You got me again, you adorable [ __ ] Grogu chooses to use Nickelodeon green slime on the attacking creature instead of, you know, the goddamn [ __ ] force. Oh my god. That's
[21:27] season 1 and it actually meant something. The only thing I'm sensing isn't the moment that we finally get to see Pedro Pascal unmasked because it would have gargled all the bantha balls. Ruby gives us a discount rank or monster
[21:40] trap, but no discount metal bikini clad Pedro Pascal. The sin removals would Rumor has it that Tom Cruise showed up on set to see if Pedro wanted him to was mostly just an excuse for Tom to
[21:52] breathe underwater for Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation story for the of those very noticeable parts of the creature's pop up out of the water. Ruby chose the much less exciting route of not showing us how Mando stabbed the
[22:05] creature underwater. >> K'ranch a yula. was the [ __ ] point? Why bother contriving a reason to
[22:17] to throw it back on after 5 minutes? I guess they paid those Pedro Pascals face money's worth, all 5 minutes of it. Also, they said that Mandalorian armor them that much be worthy of this priceless artifact? This entire scene
[22:31] beginning to relate to the fans who can't help but hate anything Star Wars post-1980. And if that isn't worth a million cents, I don't know what is. which appears to be as big as the body of water Mando is standing in, waited
[22:44] because it's only fun if you play the dramatic timing game. >> The more important question is how did these [ __ ] enter the palace at the plays the whale fall game 5 months before whale fall releases. Also, have
[23:00] movie? Sounds [ __ ] ridiculous and I can't wait for it. Go and read about it leave it running. You're not missing anything. I promise.
[23:16] Language. No one will be seated as Mando completes the now hotter forest run in >> Go, kid. I can't fit in that thing. version of this plan that Grogu and the Anzellians came up with. Was it to tow
[23:29] definitely thinking of something and I want to see that hilarity. Return of the Jedi? Well, Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu said, "Let's do a
[23:43] will only be similar in that the scene takes place in a forest and it won't be exciting at all." [ __ ] insects that don't even wait till the body's cold. minutes showing Grogu nurse Mando back to health and it's honestly the best
[23:57] it, you might ask? Because this is the best part of the [ __ ] movie. Walking. Putting water in a canister. Exciting. Grogu is somehow able to get the water choking him and he couldn't even see exactly where Mando's mouth is or if
[24:12] Grogu built this entire shelter in less than a day with those tiny little [ __ ] Oh, now you use the force. Why didn't Grogu do that to build the seconds watching Grogu swat at fireflies. What the [ __ ] is this movie?
[24:28] parental figure. I mean, that feels like it should be a sin. Get away from my fish. >> This works and it absolutely should not because it's clear Kibo isn't even looking at the area the fish are in. She
[24:40] is hiding behind. >> Says your partner's hurt real bad. Bit by a dragon snake. Poisoned. >> Thankfully, the bounty hunter shared way share. And now they can cook up something to cure Mando. That was so
[24:55] Mando to this planet to die. But wait, how did Grogu get across the river wet? And you might ask who cares? CinemaSins, that's who. Perhaps I was being nitpicky with the water feeding, but I feel confident in sinning Mando
[25:08] for not choking to death as Grogu clumsily forces crushed berries into >> The old protect the young, and then the young protect the old. >> No one will be seated as Mando shines his light around dark corners. I mean,
[25:23] this should be a suspenseful scene, but it's just not, like, at all. Considering Mando on the planet, it's very odd that no one noticed the thought-to-be and thought maybe the [ __ ] Mandalorian was on it. Nice. I mean, ew.
[25:39] palace? Isn't that kind of the whole job of palace guards? None of these [ __ ] shadows that the Hutts don't palace guard correctly. The Transformers movies thing they did have was realistic-looking warrior robots. So,
[25:53] why isn't it possible for a goddamn Star Wars movie to have that same luxury? If the wiring in these things is exposed enough to be taken advantage of by taken advantage of by a thermal detonator and blaster. Making them
[26:06] pretty shitty guards of last resort, to be honest. This, well, this just feels like a design flaw. >> You saw my face. Now it's time to die. >> Hold up, I can fix this. >> You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[26:18] >> Where the [ __ ] has he been hiding this entire battle? The vibe is clearly clear is why. If the goal of all the fight scenes in this movie was to make consider this an impressive mission accomplished. Kids, yay, we finally get
[26:32] to see the Hutts belly fighting each other, said no one ever. now? Instead of, you know, when he already had Rotta captured in in the
[26:44] and now he's saying it again, which makes him a redundant slugger [ __ ] I action sequences where everyone has to have a fighting partner that matches saying goes, you should never have your sleeping chambers above a lake
[26:59] has been visible pretty much since he started pulling open the door. So, why door enough to let the other droids through before killing it? to give them aid, then why didn't they go this route before the first time they
[27:14] came to rescue Mando? Since the twins are gone, there is no question that this no interest in it, but at the very least droids to stop attacking his [ __ ] friends. Had the twins survived, I think
[27:27] suing whoever sold them these shitty turrets that couldn't even defend turrets that couldn't even defend against a single rebel squadron. of all the air defenses and turrets, and it doesn't look like anyone is on their
[27:42] in the world to confirm that Mando has need to. It's like someone watched Rogue One and every other Star Wars movie for all that matter and said, "Let's do that, but make it not make any sense."
[27:55] walk out the front door with a couple minutes to spare. I think most of us are quite simple people that don't require a 100-ft fall sponsored by Michael Bay to feel like we've justified the price of admission. Also, Mando calls in the
[28:07] be able to escape, but how did he know through all the chaos? I ask because water to drop into. Scene does not contain a recognizable
[28:20] Scene does not contain a recognizable cowboy hat. As long as they're within your jurisdiction. wouldn't dare poop on with a nitpick, but if I was going to nitpick, I'd note
[28:35] pushed the lever with the famous silver ball on it to jump to hyperdrive. So, different button? Unless Mando is a dirty liar. It's the thing I would complete another troll, live long and prosper.
[29:00] >> I want them alive. No disintegration.