--- title: 'Splatoon Raiders' source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=VAEsEtqANNg' video_id: 'VAEsEtqANNg' date: 2026-07-28 duration_sec: 521 --- # Splatoon Raiders > Source: [Splatoon Raiders](https://youtube.com/watch?v=VAEsEtqANNg) ## Summary A humorous and chaotic playthrough of Splatoon 3's single-player mode, filled with absurd commentary, game observations, and running jokes about fish enemies, Big Man, and the game's mechanics. ### Key Points - **Survival difficulty claim** [00:16] — The player jokes about survival list difficulty, saying no one survives, and questions carryover from Splatoon 3. - **Hairstyle decision** [00:44] — After hours of gameplay, the player decides on the best hairstyle: yellow duck ass. - **Squid swimming paradox** [01:12] — The player notes that squids can't swim in water and die, finding it absurd. - **Weapon drop mechanic** [01:54] — Observes that fish drop weapons, comparing it to real life and referencing the Splattershot Jr. from Halo ODST. - **Banana birth joke** [02:38] — Random comment about bananas being born, followed by laughter and Big Man being too big. - **Religious significance war** [03:08] — Claims the war has religious significance to fish people, and Big Man becomes the player's car. - **Level up and wrenches** [04:10] — Player levels up and brags about having more wrenches than Reggie. - **Boss defeat on timer** [05:03] — Player runs out of ammo but wins by seconds, declaring themselves the best Splatoon player. - **Getting sniped by stick** [06:16] — Humorous moment where a giant stick snipes the player, comparing to a Twitch streamer. - **Research item fish stick** [07:31] — Player unlocks fish stick research item and jokes about tasting it every Friday. - **Metal Gear comparison** [08:00] — Compares the game to Metal Gear, fighting giant robot on mother base, roleplaying as mechanic. ### Conclusion A hilarious, unstructured romp through Splatoon 3 that prioritizes jokes over gameplay tips, catering to fans of the series who enjoy chaotic commentary. ## Transcript people who only played Splatoon 2. I've been here since Mario Paint, son. What's this? Okay, Resident Evil. In survival list difficulty, no one survives. WHAT? Does my locker carry over from Splatoon 3? Oh, he's still alive. Coward, Nintendo. What's the difference between this and this? How my person stands? After hours of gameplay, I've decided this is the best hairstyle. yeah, give me that one. Easy. Give me yellow duck ass. Love it. You have no power. You have no power. This guy could become an issue. Ba ba ba ba ba. He could become a major threat. See the mysterious shark just ahead? You can pet it. Did I cover this Oh, I don't know, man. I don't know about this Splatoon. They're messing up You can cover all the plants in ink. Okay, I like that. Squids can swim in water. No? thought. No, they die. How are squids worse at swimming than we dumb out here? Instead of Big Man, it should have been Big Sam, Nintendo. Reggie, slipping? Got to get me in the company. Splat tune, more like balloon Wonder World. Nintendo, swap me for Reggie. Shoo. Through the Cheeto ring? This is their equivalent of Trick Cereal, this guy. I trust Big Man. That's Splatoon Cheetos. Get that. Shrimp Cheeto rings taste like walnuts. That's Big Lonka. This guy is no match for me. I'm ranked B plus in Splatoon 1. Sometimes fish drop weapons. So, it's just like real life. The flamingo Splattershot Jr. That was my go-to weapon in uh ODST. know what you buy with the mysterious shards. Probably Cheetos. Probably a big Cheeto. Big man, you're about to be dead man, big time. bananas are born. Put me in the NICE ONE. >> [laughter] >> HE'S JUST JAMMED HIMSELF IN THERE. Big man, you're too big in there, man. Sometimes Target has a big line of fish people like this. Everybody's using frying pans in this one, man. frying pans in this one, man. I still got the Splattershot Jr. >> Get me out, Big Man. This war has a religious significance to This war has a religious significance to the fish people. means you can't cook these with it. Big Man, I know that you and me have our differences, but now you're my car. Ah, they're coming to GET ME. AH! CLIMB STAIRS. It's not in their nature. Oh, what? Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, they can't fall down either. That's their downfall. And I got Big Man, I can do this. All their foolish down there. do this. All their foolish down there. They got no powers. I got more orange balls than NBA Jam, son. control a hammerhead shark. She's the same thing but for eels, and I don't tame anything because I'm a big idiot. I'm going to jump over Ralph. Oh, that's cool. Platoon jump. DON'T LET ME GO. LEVEL UP. Plus one wrench. How many wrenches do you have, Reggie? That's right. Keep more than you. >> You're wrong. colon. So, I was wrong twice. This is a game where fish can't swim, but they can fly by level three. Watch this. Watch how I OH! YOU can't allow the tong enemy to go unchecked. Once he gains access to the >> Big man going big mode. Ooh! I'm in a mode. >> These enemies think that I am a bag of shrimp Cheetos. shrimp Cheetos. >> They cooked salted too. They're already breaking out laser breath in level four. me there. You're on a timer to kill the boss? No. I'm out of ammo, though. No! No, no. I'm going to lose. Five, four, three, YOU'RE BLOCKING ME, TWO, ONE. I WON! I won! Man, I'm so good at Splatoon. I'm the uh everybody that plays this game, I'm the best in the world. Now that the fog has cleared, we can see that I'm the best in the world. fish statue. >> Cluttered table unlocked. You could put three things on there with ease. Just a million guys with tongs. No. No, No, no. I just have to defeat 474 more of these and then I can unlock a fun fact about the tongue-wielding enemies. >> Oh, that's a lot of big guys coming at me. That's like a lot of lot of lot of I can't even What the WHERE AM I? TAKE THIS. IT IS NOTHING. IT IS NOTHING. WAIT. Bunny mode. Bunny mode activated. getting sniped by a giant stick >> [laughter] >> guy. Who is this giant guy? Oh, I knocked him way down. Okay. I Twitch streamer. I don't play on tourist difficulty. difficulty. The chip starts. I'm like 3 years old. Are you serious? Nintendo's community guidelines apply to online play and I'm not playing it then. My pain is purple now. If I lose, that's My pain is purple now. If I lose, that's why. team, Tony Soprano or Paulie Riot Shields? The lore in Splatoon 3 was like telling me about like the pre-post apocalyptic era of life. This one is like telling me about like what's the latest codes that people like to wear. latest codes that people like to wear. The minute you scoop. YouTube viewer level has increased. New joke unlocked. There's something fishy about this game. Back then, they didn't want Plan Dan. They all on me. I'm dead. Flashlight. Be a flashlight. One of 800 fire neck gems. New research item, fish stick. I need to research how these taste every Friday. Then I'm going to spaghetti then. Then I'm having spaghetti then. Jimbo big side. breath? I got them on the I got him on the ropes. I got him on the ropes. I'm see I'm winning. And with this treasure I can now unlock the jumbo menu at participating Chili's locations. I don't give me that crap worth millions I don't give me that crap worth millions for the first time in Splatoon. Birds. This is Metal Gear. Fight giant robot. We're on a mother base in the ocean instead of the medic you play as the mechanic. Instead of Big Boss there's >> Don't give up. Keep going. >> Ready and howling at the moon. >> Ready and howling at the moon. >> [music] >> [music] >> Run now. May your troubles be gone and all be done.