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[01:20] measuring their logo dicks instead of letting each other finish. Back off, Universal. It might be a moon, but Spielbergs is bigger. Since the long past days of the 1970s, I have never been able to appreciate the style of
[01:32] trying to guess the word before it appears. Sore is closure. Damn it. I know you're ripping on alien. Just get on with it.
[01:44] Thoughts and prayers to anyone who saw this in IMAX over 40X. There are so many core message that humanity can't help but fight itself at every opportunity. wrestling match because subtlety is for nerds and this movie ain't no nerd.
[01:58] everyone stands. >> Doing a shady handoff in a public place public place and then pulling a gun when your row of seats is fully exposed to said public place is not. >> 7.23.48.83
[02:16] to this back alley for the rest of the handoff, why waste any amount of time attending the fight? That metaphor wasn't that good. >> Well, this is all rather disappointing. >> Coming to a rash conclusion a mere 3
[02:29] minutes into the movie. Sorry. Coming to a rash but ultimately correct conclusion >> It's here. >> The pronoun game, sir. It never left. It never does. It knows all. It sees all. What does it see and know? We don't
[02:42] will be. >> Where is it? He's talking about an Daniel is hidden on his person, which makes me wonder why they chose to hand they had the most important thing they were hostaging her for in the first
[02:55] >> Do not fire. >> If you fire, it could activate the absolutely should have been shared in the pre-mission briefing. Also, we'll learn that this discount sonic screwdriver is only really a danger to
[03:07] problem. >> And it almost killed me. Now place the camera's approaching Daniel and then it suddenly skips a few feet. I only Colin Furt's character is completely uninterrupted despite these three agents
[03:22] positions. Weird choice, but does it affect my enjoyment of the movie? No, >> I should do to you what you did to them. >> Is it to continue playing the pronoun Because I didn't kidnap your girlfriend, Dan, and yet I'm feeling very targeted.
[03:36] >> History doesn't have a reset key. >> Lessons deemed unlearnable by the MCU in DCU. Up until this point, I can buy being careful around the alien gadget. didn't drop it. They go back to base and just start tracking him from there
[03:48] instead. Letting him just leave at this point feels more about having a story to mission. Movie will occasionally cut to a behind-the-scenes documentary covering how Back Rooms was made, which is weird because this came out way before Back
[04:00] >> You got to get secure for the night. Has to be somewhere I've never been before >> I know a place close to here. Having a girlfriend who failed at becoming a nun but is still on good enough terms with the monastery to use them as a no
[04:12] questions asked safe house is mighty serendiportuitous. This huge iMac screen of news reports and data is impressive in its ability to be a confusing blur of see filled with text no one could possibly read.
[04:24] >> Couldn't we have saved some data center hydration and just showed the 12 people song and dance of the computer picking them out from the entire staff? Kelner applied cyber security and he spent the better part of eight years safeguarding
[04:39] us about him? >> Nothing you shouldn't already know, but it does tell the audience that he is a big old nerd. >> Hugo Wakefield didn't show up for work this morning.
[04:52] know who this Hugo chap is or what he looks like? Spell it out for me. No need >> second device is missing from deep storage. the 12 missing employees is suspicious, but the missing alien artifact can't be
[05:06] explained by collective food poisoning. Hugo's personal history section shows that he has been in some kind of law or law adjacent field most of his life, biological assets. Director of biological burdens would be far more
[05:19] directly across the lawn of your monastery safe house is a bad way to lay Danny, >> how do you know they'll answer it? monastery has reached its legally mandated maximum occupancy limit. That
[05:33] respected that dedication to the reality of fire coats. The point is this blanket disapprove of the blind confidence with which it was delivered. to sneakers. >> Teasing me with a possessed sneakers
[05:47] deliver on. Guess I'll have to wait for the next conjuring outing. >> Whatever you have done, you must hold yourself accountable. But leave Jane out >> Hold up, sister. How does she know Jane isn't the troublemaker? It's actually
[05:59] kind of sexist to assume Daniel is dragging her along his trail of be an irresponsible nerd do well as much as any man's. Sister Mora, >> We've had sex. What do you think? >> Implying that one should always be able
[06:13] intimate with has ever been a nun. I don't think a tattoo down there is as like the nuns here should or would have living in sin under their monastic roof. You wanted to be a nun, but what? You
[06:28] >> Semantics. >> How long have you worked for these >> They're doing a quid proquo of questions, and this is the second most important question she has. The does it matter? Ask what he stole. Ask what the
[06:40] gadget is that had Mr. Darcy and his goons their combined britches. Who the to date? Noting you, Jane. >> I did 19 months in Petersburg for cyber for hiding her nunism while simultaneously hiding the fact that he
[06:54] be completely consistent with his personality, but it is also completely >> Wordex recruited me straight out of the parking lot the day I was released. >> Recruiting Daniel after he's free just means they have zero leverage over a man
[07:08] wasn't good enough at the thing they need him to do to not get caught doing >> I keep secrets for a living. I didn't mean to keep them from you. >> I didn't mean to not tell you. you. I went to prison because my job makes me
[07:20] bad at truththing is certainly a flex. >> What I stole, it belongs to 8 billion >> And yet you seem pathologically and plottically incapable of sharing it with the one person you have access to. Spill the alien tea already, Dan. In case you
[07:34] also in Missouri. >> It's going to mass condense it like >> Trust the Brit to get this excited about a mass condescension. What? Don't >> It's good. That's really good. You're really It's
[07:47] >> Maggie seems to be irritated by this generic assessment even though the professional background in newscasting and a vested interest in still being her. >> Yet weather power
[08:02] >> again. >> Choosing to move to Missouri and then Pretending that this bread resembles anything close to sufficiently toasted. seconds, which isn't nearly enough time to guarantee the structural integrity
[08:17] crunchitude. This is the equivalent of fake sipping a clearly empty Starbucks how unfucking toasted the bread is. [ __ ] movies, man. Whole world's gone >> When did you learn Russian? >> This is as far as his questioning will
[08:31] Instead of telling her to stop a [ __ ] second and explain how weird it was that and appeared to have no awareness of doing so. At best, this is a stroke and >> Oh god, I got to go. I'm late. >> She started making breakfast at 6:40,
[08:45] sat down at 6:45, meaning she never had a chance to get anything close to bread. >> Anna, those things she said to you this >> Imagine you're this cop. You pull over a lady for speeding. She ends up being a
[08:58] shares personal and specific insights to your home life, upbringing, and fears of fatherhood. She then leaves. Do you a immediately let her go with no attempt down while calling an exorcist? There are no wrong answers except a
[09:12] nation has faced. >> Thinking we won't care that your news getting it from the sauce. >> Very generous of you to show up 3 minutes before this. >> That traffic stop cost you exactly 2
[09:24] minutes and 16 seconds. I very much doubt that arriving 5 minutes and 16 live would have made him any happier. Margaret to get off her. Get off her. Cut away. Taking this long to cut away from
[09:37] attack or mild seizure. >> General, you have learned what we know >> Mixing tenses in a way that is unbecoming of an Englishman. >> Let's get an azimuth check here. >> Do not open the aperture on the
[09:49] >> I almost chocked up a bonus round for all the unnecessary fluffy wording that goes on in this movie. Dropping inventory. Azimuth checks. Opening the one pretentious metaphor away from opening my aperture and eating my own
[10:02] >> Yes, and it matched. with, "Hey, this lady in Kansas City is speaking the one alien language we know, >> What's going on with me? That doesn't make sense."
[10:15] >> Thinking stress can explain spontaneously learning three new The only thing more insane than that would be if Maggie hasn't shared those help getting to the bathroom. >> Maggie seems relieved that there's
[10:29] another door here. So, what was her plan if this was just a regular one entrance minds, but how likely is it that the doctor was at that precise moment thinking, "Man, I wish my bathroom back home had multiple doors just like the
[10:42] >> Who's the guy with Nixon? >> Big TV star in the 50s. The fact that Nixon was showing TV stars alien bodies back in the 1970s undermines the idea that we got all the way to 2026 without it being exposed to the entire world at
[10:55] probably Reagan. Also, Nixon pulling Nixon aside, look at all these people operation to other locations and across the 79 years since Roswell in 1947. You're talking about thousands and
[11:08] involved in this cover up and not a single one until Daniel had decided to all members of the same species that >> Are they children? >> Are they what? Now this is a wild
[11:22] question to ask unless are they children is being followed by of the corn of Mars or of aliens. >> Are they people? No. Daniel, >> is he an experiencer? You can't dive on
[11:35] spoonfed the meaning of the clearly established lingo in this movie. It being of intelligence, which makes me uncomfortable and suspicious, which >> Pull the data on the girlfriend. >> The computer instinctively knew that
[11:48] though it meant pulling up a completely different image instead of just zooming in on the one that's already there. >> It has the highest level of military and American history. >> You mean to say the existence of aliens
[12:01] and alien technology is being kept secret? Get the out of here. >> Presidents are civilians again after 8 years. So, this is no longer a reason to >> Expecting me to believe that the flow of information given to a president can be
[12:14] work ethic might be the biggest leap into speculative fiction this movie ever >> I was a part of all that until I saw what you just saw. he's implying that there was a time he knew aliens existed but didn't realize
[12:27] they were being interrogated. A level of naive that is hard to justify given well all of recorded human history. >> Full disclosure to the whole world all asleep or don't have access to a radio or television those squares.
[12:41] stop believing in a god. >> Yes. Because when people are faced with new facts they without fail no matter how complicated the topic always change self-evident truth held across the circumference of this flat earth of
[12:54] ours. Also, thinking that the arrival of aliens will stop people believing in God shows an extreme lack of faith in well, how faith works. that God is divine, >> missing the fact that certainty and
[13:06] religion make for kinky but awkward bed fellows. Also, I feel like Spielberg debate here about how faith interacts with science. A debate that's pretty a burden of proof. >> He's how we define ourselves. He's what
[13:20] Having a character be this ignorant of the many, many, many unsuttle examples of World War II newsposition around them. This is why Netflix thinks we're >> we've been raised to believe in a supreme being, and now you want to show
[13:33] us actual supreme beings. >> But she has no idea whether they're supreme beings or not. All she knows for certain is that they can die in a be captured and tortured by the evolved apes in charge of this planet. But I'm
[13:46] that this summer blockbuster showed us a couple of corpses. Hope we'd remember a dove straight into a theological debate about the strength of religious extraterrestrial life. All while the [ __ ] Super Mario Galaxy movie kicks
[14:01] for you, Stevie, but damn it, throw us a bone. >> Continuing to think you're qualified to speak on behalf of 8 billion people. meet you, Miss Fairchild. >> For someone who very much needs Maggie
[14:14] out of his way to come off as a creepy stalker at every opportunity. Who is >> A friend. And if I'm right about you, Margaret, you'd know if I wasn't. >> And if I'm not right, it's World War III for everyone. But I do love to gamble.
[14:28] fair. >> Have you play this to other people? >> Daniel has every right to be frustrated here. And since Daniel already knows about aliens, there's no reason to not tell him what he just heard was an alien
[14:40] a mysterious bastard, no matter how much it puts everything at risk. >> There's always been just the two of you. This revelation is punctuated by a entirely sure why other than it being the only chapter in the big book of
[14:54] alien cliches that we haven't given lip service to yet. Oh, I am entirely sure it really is wild how exfiles coded this movie is. We have the religious character who's skeptical of aliens in Jane. Daniel is Molder, convinced that
[15:06] deserves to know. With the smoking man essentially being split into Coleman likely an acknowledgement that no one body could have absorbed that much nicotine and survived 11 seasons. Noah takes control of Jane's body and decides
[15:20] to a perfect his black swan audition, b take advantage of a rare opportunity to fit and the tantrums IRL, c play a patented game of Joey Tribani's this hand is your hand, this hand is my hand, or d all the above.
[15:33] >> Hello, Shane. Since Noah can't dive on Daniel, there's no way Noah could have now and watching Jane freak out as she holds a conversation with thin air. been problematic. A buddy of mine said, "I think I like Disclosure Day, but
[15:47] movie, and I can't think of a better review." short circuit this body snatching, diving stuff almost immediately. And yet, she still finds herself questioning the divinity of God. Maybe she's
[16:02] the writers need him to be. >> I remember St. Cliff from my Sunday like me. >> Jane attending a monastery with a patron that just happens to relate to this exact sci-fi situation. And Noah somehow
[16:15] pulling that fact out of his ass from his days at Sunday school is the most God this movie will produce. >> I don't like you. >> Cinema Sense. >> What does it say?
[16:27] >> Sykesville. Hugo knows what this alien device is capable of and yet he's done the pissiest of piss poor job preparing his team for being dove on. Hugo hasn't he had, Santiago would have known to blindfold their asses for the whole
[16:40] >> Jane, could you stop him if you had to? >> Wasting time on questions that don't controlling her when it comes to stopping him. This is like asking her the stop signs. >> Left to right. Stop her. Get up. Move to
[16:53] knife. The same goal could have been accomplished more quickly by simply instead of activating her T800's search mode programming, again? >> I'm actually amazed Hugo didn't tell
[17:06] If Wordex can't track her, then it's not a big leap to start tracking her >> Oh my god, Daniel Kelner. >> Dare I say that Wyatt Russell could do >> Who is this? >> Do not go back to the house.
[17:21] warning and go right back to the house. Either the alien should have possessed someone better at convincing people, or wait, why aren't they just possessing Daniel, too? Hiding behind a fence that is 87% air.
[17:33] No one who is hunting rogue Daniels for a living hears this noise and decides to high here, so why doesn't Daniel leave the bag somewhere in the neighboring data doesn't go down with him. And based on how quickly the copy of Playboy that
[17:46] around our high school, it might be the most efficient method of getting the information out anyway. If this irritatingly unlocked door is has been able to keep a singular Worther's original under wraps for 79
[18:00] years. Where am I? >> I don't know. But driving directly into this tree as if it had the inclination or will to step out of the way wouldn't be my first choice. Daniel blindly driving this car through
[18:13] giving an energy of she might not believe in God, but let's see if God believes in her. Daniel somehow manages to pick up a 14-second lead, which gives in the car, meaning every single one of these ass clowns were out of their
[18:26] vehicles and unprepared to give immediate chase. that side mirror. They'll definitely give themselves up now.
[18:40] how many ridiculous happenstances are time they need it most. Oh, shoot. THAT'S MY JOB. IT >> WASN'T YOU. IT WASN'T YOU. It was Scan. >> Reminding me that my time would be
[18:52] better spent watching an allgether more sexy Scanland with similar magic powers. >> The device. The device. >> Okay. Someone update the days since last dumbass touched the alien device with their bare hand. So close to beating our
[19:06] presumably well-trained agents takes it as gospel that they both drove off the the crash and hidden behind literally the first rock in sight. You know what's something wrong with me. >> Movie accidentally stumbles upon the
[19:21] along. And by the world, I mean the internet. No lie, these noodles are my go-to snack of choice for any given disaster. And if you buy them in bulk, with a shelf life of approximately
[19:34] be left on the shelf during any toilet paper hoarding level apocalypse. Thems >> It's science. >> Math you there tomorrow. >> These phone calls with Hugo are so full
[19:48] know why he doesn't communicate with them via carrier pigeon. will become clear. >> Writing checks this movie will refuse to cash. I'm all for a solid pun. Truly, they're worth waking up for. But why is
[20:00] they're worth waking up for. But why is DI separated from the ANA? In Diana works much better as a motel pun, right? Come on, people. I'm jonesing for an could be Ultron again and hides any
[20:12] except the literal paper he's been writing on like a dumbass. Colin's the peeping. Colin's the peeping very. Since they're not actually the police, I feel unnecessary self-exposure. >> This is our guy. They're coming right.
[20:26] was plenty of time for him to follow her through the window. The only thing a needless sacrifice to spice up the pacing. Also, the fact that the Wardex goons just assumed this motel was too cheap to possibly have windows on the
[20:39] monumental oversight in case you confused it with Excelsier NX2000. Nerds >> You're going to tell me the name of every Confederate Warex. >> Asking Daniel for information that Noah already has and has been displayed on
[20:54] >> What's the day code? >> Kentucky Philly. It's very suspicious two people we're hunting and whose image would have absolutely been shared with my hands are tied. I know walking like you belong is a genuine phenomenon, but
[21:09] she's not meandering into a AMC theater without paying. He's rushing into a interrogating the civilian he just kidnapped. Someone should at least be kidnapped. Someone should at least be manning the door, right? [music]
[21:25] after all this is done will be making sure the guard station at the front gate boxes. >> What did you see? My wife. >> Okay, she pulled some crazy Jedi mind tricks, but we seem to be cool now.
[21:37] the base and chase them, right? Like put on some earplugs, avoid eye contact, and stop them. Boss, hello. Just going to let him leave again. Aces, >> what is she? [music]
[21:50] better. Also, unstoppable feels like a bold thing to say when I doubt this works on a well-maintained Glock or ICBM. It is deeply unsettling to my mind palace that he took the bottom right ammo clip, top right gun, but top left
[22:04] set of keys. >> Spirit flew in through my window. >> Holy [ __ ] How the You're freaking me the out. [laughter] >> I just want to overexlain why this is such a hilarious exchange, but most of
[22:16] Boy. I lost every friend I ever had because I couldn't stand to be around >> Movie will never explain what made Jane specifically so special. Just, you know, vibes and >> what happened to us?
[22:30] just shooting this definitely not bulletproof Alfa Romeo while you have often are you chasing someone and they stop right next to a train track right as the train is coming? Come on, I can't pass this up. It's so cinema."
[22:47] in charge of organizing the guns and ammo is getting paid a lot more than >> Hello, Hugo. why has he waited until now? In fact, why didn't he dive on any of the other
[23:01] work today? I'd be diving on Coleman Domingo all day. Wait, >> they regard empathy as an evolutionary advantage. The aliens value empathy above all else, meaning their gravest error was saving us jumped up apes
[23:14] who hold hands while they sleep. On the other hand, if they're looking for first. >> And is your bleeding heart why you >> Hugo did such an incredible job of helping the alien escape that he didn't
[23:28] get found out for 5 years. Can't imagine how he pulled this off. And since we >> You lost her and almost immediately were lost to me. It apparently took an entire with the villain for this movie. Work that was apparently thrown out and
[23:41] wife. >> The archive Ker stole is a virus against which the world has zero immunity. >> Immunity often comes down to exposure of disregarding the cultural impact of Star Trek, Star Wars, the XFile, Doctor Who,
[23:57] Mindy. >> Pull up the 12 who didn't show up to him right now. >> Surely they're all with him though. He's staging a house for Maggie on what must be a pretty need to know basis. What the
[24:09] not helping with the task of preventing World War II. >> And Nathan Swinning, Hugo's chief aid. >> You couldn't have at least started with this right-hand guy. >> Jane, where are you? Jane.
[24:21] the monastery, which is of course being monitored just in case Jane or Daniel decide to what? They're not monitoring the monastery. Why don't the bad guys >> Cuz Genesis says that we're his supreme creation. But do you think it's possible
[24:34] >> How in the fancy [ __ ] did she work out Jane is talking about aliens based on that? This is exactly what she needs to hear in this exact moment. Meaning maybe which I don't think is the point anyone behind this movie was trying to make.
[24:49] Daniel >> Santiago deciding to have fun with Dan they don't freak the out of being kidnapped. Also, since she didn't know Maggie pull some of that emotional mental kung fu on them?
[25:03] >> He's a friend from work. >> Got to check it real quick. Make sure >> I mean, sure, they're clear now, but what's stopping Noah from dropping back at any point after they've been scanned? They clearly don't know their
[25:15] isn't quite sure what one of those is either. Also, can't you just blindfold going to do if they did detect Noah in there, leaving them on the side of the >> Same thing about firet trucks. Everyone gets the hell out of your way.
[25:28] And they're a lot less likely to be pulled over when someone spots them and that is not one of our trucks. >> Why won't you [music] look at me? >> This is the guy. >> I'm the guy.
[25:41] tour through her childhood home for the all. This is exactly why this movie is 2 and a half hours long sometime. >> And you so you could understand us. they're Trixie littleers who love nothing more than a slowb burn mystery.
[25:56] imagine landing in America, being kidnapped and tortured for decades, and the next American you meet doesn't grow exists, too. Scotland's got golf. >> I sing my song.
[26:09] will come. And Disney trying to back door another live action remake of Snow White into Disclosure Day is a hate crime that we shall not let slide on religious allegory and imagery in this movie, but damn it, I haven't got a
[26:22] perfectly placed above Maggie's head help me? >> They present his animals to calm us. trying to calm a 10-year-old is to have them imagine that a giant [ __ ] antler
[26:36] deer has suddenly appeared in their bedroom. Also, I'm not going to go all will talk about how odd it is that an alien species is revealing itself to this is by scaring the [ __ ] out of a child with a sudden animal conference in
[26:50] on this because they only had access to Disney movies while being locked in Area grateful this encounter didn't end with them killing her parents. Listen, the deer turning into an alien is a beautiful shot. Topnotch. Good shot. But
[27:04] different shapes and sizes like foxes and deers, how is the government and wardex ever able to keep them hostage? Turn into a mouse and skitter away, turn states would have elected them into office. I guess the alien definition of
[27:17] terrifying the [ __ ] out of them, and then implanting superpowers in their later. I'd hate to see what their idea of harming us would be. >> Huh? With all their advanced technology and ability to shapeshift into or
[27:31] ability to travel through space, did they really have to waste Colon house to help with recovering those memories? Was that really a dealbreaker? complicates the plan. We need the house, Hugo. Time shares on Alpha Viagra 2 are
[27:46] summer when this blows over. >> They found us. >> Relying on having a man on watch at a side door to tell you this instead of a underestimation of the stakes.
[27:58] >> rare footage of the devastating toll a missed cup of tea takes on an us. >> Fellow alien brethren, this gadget that magical things. It can read the minds of people. It can push your consciousness
[28:12] distances and allow you to puppet them into doing your bidding. It can even plain sight, but only visibly. You'll still be able to hear them. Noise abide it. >> Everybody, stop moving. relying on your
[28:26] that tablet that can track their heat signatures. >> The fact that Maggie insists on holding the alien gadget in front of her, be a commentary on women's clothing never having sufficient pockets. The
[28:40] tonal whiplash of this goon's comically run into invisible things to a chirpy is using it to train astronauts for re-entry. WHICH ONE DO WE FOLLOW? vehicles, saving you from this conundrum. I'm going on air at the
[28:54] >> Okay. >> Maggie has been given the power to sense sure how that translates to yes, mistress, I shall do what you say. >> Control room. Why am I doing this? >> Because someone assumed you asking this
[29:08] satisfying explanation and then broke for an early lunch. Loving the drama of a finale so much that you bring a transfer device that can only upload Maggie uses the gadget to bring the station back online, and Noah decides to
[29:22] sits back and lets it happen. As if he hasn't just spent an entire movie about to share will categorically destroy humanity. >> What a great way to end the movie. The news gets out and people know what they
[29:35] didn't know about. Not much story left to tell here. Really weird that there's 20 minutes of credits, though. >> Since 1973, a non-governmental >> Oh, so we're going to get the whole news report. The news report summarizing all
[29:48] the things we just spent the last two hours and six minutes organically ever seen a movie for a news position finale. That's only news positioning world. >> This is disclosure day.
[30:01] >> Roll disclose it. >> Do we verify this feed? Is it fake? Is >> Valid question which would likely lead to the feed being cut completely rather being a hoax. This might have worked in the 1990s, but it's crazy to think this
[30:14] age of the 2020s. I mean, some of these images are the definition of AI alien about this. >> Well, you could start by saying it looks carried away from a crash site. Since when does the news care about protecting
[30:29] >> Unclear if this is an official government disclosure. >> Is it seemed pretty clear to me that is not coming from the government? Do you archival footage at a Kansas City affiliate station?
[30:41] >> It's apparently another crash site. >> If you learn just two things today, it's these aliens suck at flying. It's not entirely clear why the alien is being Other than this sucker loves a dramatic catwalk reveal. These [ __ ] with
[30:55] their flashes on creating so many goddamn reflections and glares that none on will be able to see a damn thing. That's right. Spielberg has finally made an alien movie. Huzzah. And if you're thinking, "Wait, he's already made
[31:07] you're wrong. ET was about childhood innocence, not aliens. Close Encounters of the Worlds was a movie about someone else's aliens. And Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, that one actually was just about aliens. Anyway, this is his
[31:21] This movie isn't about aliens at all. It's about accepting each other, no cultures seem, through empathy and active listening. It guys, it can't just be Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Listen, >> forgetting that listening is only half
[31:34] but if the person I'm listening to is full of and spouting hate, are they a chance that the key to lasting world peace might just might not have a peace might just might not have a comfortable one-word answer? Heard.
[31:55] because he too lives in fear of what he's created?