--- title: 'Why Toxic Positivity Is a Lie and Cynicism Is Your Enemy' source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=VAwhW55S0FU' video_id: 'VAwhW55S0FU' date: 2026-07-14 duration_sec: 0 --- # Why Toxic Positivity Is a Lie and Cynicism Is Your Enemy > Source: [Why Toxic Positivity Is a Lie and Cynicism Is Your Enemy](https://youtube.com/watch?v=VAwhW55S0FU) ## Summary Gary Vaynerchuk passionately argues against the term 'toxic positivity,' calling it a misnomer for delusion. He distinguishes between practical optimism and cynicism, emphasizing that cynicism is a fear-based protection mechanism that prevents people from taking risks and achieving success. ### Key Points - **Toxic Positivity is Delusion** [00:00] — Gary asserts that 'toxic positivity' is a slang term for delusion, not positivity. He criticizes the weaponization of the term against optimistic people. - **Practical Optimism vs. Delusion** [00:30] — He explains that people confuse practical optimism with delusion because they don't understand the difference between trying temporarily and wasting time forever. - **Tax on Cynicism** [01:00] — Cynics never discover the 'gold at the other side of the rainbow' because they don't even try. Cynicism is a protection mechanism against public failure. - **Cynicism vs. Thoughtfulness** [01:30] — Gary distinguishes cynicism (believing people are motivated by self-interest) from being thoughtful (evaluating risks). Cynicism is not the same as smart decision-making. - **Regret of Not Taking Risks** [02:00] — The worst feeling is when your soul says yes but fear makes you say no, leading to regret. Losing money on a belief feels better than missing out on a success. - **Value of Shared Failure** [02:30] — Gary values the camaraderie of failing with friends over being the 'smart' cynic who never tries. Shared failures become cherished stories. - **Cynics Eventually Seek Optimism** [03:00] — Extreme cynics, after years of unhappiness, often become open to practical optimism. Gary attracts both delusional people and tired cynics ready for change. - **Middle Ground: Maybe** [03:30] — Gary advocates for a balanced approach: not blind yes, but a 'maybe trying to find yes' grounded in work ethic and accountability. ### Conclusion Gary Vaynerchuk urges people to reject cynicism and embrace practical optimism, emphasizing that taking calculated risks leads to growth and fulfillment, while cynicism leads to a life of regret and missed opportunities. ## Transcript Nothing could be more interesting to me [music] than people have decided to create a term called toxic positivity and try to weaponize it against humans. It's truly one of the saddest things I've seen in the world. Toxic positivity is really just slang term for delusion. I mean, the concept that there is even an ability to be toxically positive is so stupid. It's a misunderstanding of positive. What they're trying to say is delusion. Stop saying toxic positivity. start saying delusional cuz positivity and delusion are not the same. But you're tricking the kids. I'm [ __ ] pissed about this. I've decided I'm pissed about this. You're [ __ ] ruining an entire generation's opportunity because of your own hurt and loserness. [ __ ] that [ __ ] We're not letting that happen. People are confusing practical optimism with toxic positivity or delusion because they don't know the difference between trying for a little while or wasting all your time and money on it forever. I am the king of what some people would say wasting minutes and hours and days on hypotheses that end up not being true. But that level of curiosity and practical optimism has also led me to 40 things that are so true that the upside of those 40 truths has created remarkable economic and emotional happiness. The tax on cynicism is none of the people that deploy it could have ever discovered the gold at the other side of the rainbow cuz they never slid down the rainbow >> cuz they never they don't even try cuz they're not even they're not even in the game. If you are trying to accomplish something, but you've already talked yourself out of it and you're not doing it, doesn't that actually render it 100% impossible? How could you possibly achieve something if you've killed it before you started? >> You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. >> And people are so scared that they choose to weaponize cynicism as a protection mechanism. And then if that's not enough, they go and try to deploy toxic positivity on people that are practically optimistic. Why are people doing this? Oh, wait. People are saying no to protect themselves from losing publicly. Think about how safe it is. I'm going to [ __ ] on people like Gary and others who are positive and say they're toxic positivity that makes me feel like I'm doing something cuz in real life I'm doing nothing. There's really no logic, like no actual practical logic to be a queen of cynicism. Now, let me counter myself. Let me join the ranks. Optimism is not the same word as delusion. And cynicism is not the same word as thoughtful. It's good to be thoughtful so you don't buy a million-doll lottery ticket. Like, you don't want to be right. But again, I think people think cynicism is the same as like, "Well, Gary, if I wasn't cynical, I would have invested in that beachfront property in Peru and with my neighbors and we all lost our money." Like, that's not cynicism. That's being thoughtful. Cynicism is deep. What's the definition? What's the Webster's definition of cynicism? T >> an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest. Skepticism. That would be like the people selling us the beachfront property in Peru aren't just selling a beachfront property and letting us make a decision. They're trying to trick us to take our money and it's going to be bad for us. That's different than this is a neutral business deal and should we the four of us, you know, should we all pile in our dollars? We got a new friend here. Can you add 20 bucks to it and can we buy this property? The cynics will point to the nine times it doesn't work out. I'll speak to the time where I bought beachfront Malibu property for 100,000. It's worth 40 million. I didn't do that. I'm just saying good examples. The worst feeling is you fully believe something and you go against your feelings because you let fear stop you. You wish you dated that boy and said yes. You wish you bought that thing. You wish you invested in that stock. You wish you took that job. Like it's it's the worst feeling. The worst feeling is your soul is telling you yes and your brain fear when you let that overpower your gut. Yes. Most people need to know what it feels like to lose $15,000 when they can't fully they can afford it. Like they're not dead, but it's a [ __ ] ding. If you really believed it, you're going to feel better than you think. That's the part that most people don't understand that if you actually believed it. Let me break down the scenario if you want to use example. You believe it's a good investment to put $15,000 into a group fund with 10 other buddies to buy a single family home for 150,000 and make money off the derivative. You believe it. You say no. They go on and do it. And by [ __ ] year three, they're already paid back and making money for the rest of their life. You're [ __ ] dead inside cuz you believed yes, but you allowed cynicism and fear to make you go no. You go and put that 15,000 and it does not work out. You don't feel as bad as the first example. That is what I have to teach people to go through. Let me give you the reverse. Your brain fear says don't do it. Your heart and soul says do it. You take your brain and then thing does not work out. It doesn't feel as good as you think it does. Like some people get off on it. See, he told you you nine friends are suckers. Like you get your high on that. But there's no You didn't win. This is what I keep telling people. You didn't win. Is that what you want your life to be? That you make fun of your nine friends who took a chance? Like, is that fulfilling? Your nine buddies failed, their restaurant investment failed, and what you just be like, "Hah, I was the only smart." Like, what are you doing? Like, what is that life? I'd rather lose with my buddies. Like, the drinking nights of like making fun of us like remember when we tried to buy a Chinese restaurant in Alabama? like like that 15 times you have that story over beers is worth the $15,000 that I like you know and again everything's relative and money's important like I'm not saying that I'm saying soul your soul people are about to get to 70 80 year olds and realize they did nothing in their life besides [ __ ] on other people's dreams that's great congrats hope you enjoyed that run on your only time on earth what a [ __ ] pathetic point of view now do I think that there are people that are downright delusional, like delusional. Sure, I meet them all the time. Those people do gravitate to me. You know, it's funny. I get both sides. You know who gravitates to me? The extreme cynics that are like so tired and are 10 years into their cynicism that they're actually ready for my practical optimism. They're not in year one where they're going to leave a comment toxic king of toxic positivity. They're in year seven where like clearly my way didn't work. I want to actually know what this guy's been talking about for the last 20 years. And then there's people that a lot of those people are making fun of and think exist, which is like delusional people. Which is why I always talk about work ethic, accountability, the market is the market. >> Yes, you should quit after four and a half years of sucking at the same thing over and over like like you know like I would just tell everybody that if you're willing to be quiet and really understand are you on the side of paying a cynicism tax? If you're on the side of the other side of the pillow, delusion at scale, try to find this middle, which is grounded in maybe. I'm a maybe trying to find yes guy. I'm not yes at everything. But [ __ ] man. Boy, do I see the world loaded with people that are no one. >> Toxic posit. Do you know how insane toxic positivity is? As if positivity is like a problem.