[0:00] I just watched something that I still
[0:01] can't believe is real. It's just so
[0:04] painfully pathetic.
[0:07] Last night on stream, there was one guy
[0:08] in chat for like the two and a half
[0:10] hours I was playing Wacky Games saying,
[0:13] "You've got to check out Ned Fulmer's
[0:15] standup." And for some reason, it didn't
[0:19] process what that meant up here. I
[0:21] thought he had made a video called
[0:23] standup where he was doing some kind of
[0:25] like I don't know artsy think piece or
[0:28] something reflecting on his infidelity
[0:31] and how cheating affected him cuz all he
[0:33] does now is make videos about how he
[0:36] cheated on his wife and the effect that
[0:38] it's had on him and like almost going on
[0:40] this like self-pity tour about him being
[0:43] the victim. Even did the podcast where
[0:46] he talked about him cheating directly to
[0:48] her. just brutal, awful garbage. So, I
[0:53] looked it up this morning because it got
[0:54] me curious. No, the standup refers to
[0:57] him doing standup comedy. And you'll
[1:00] never guess what his material consists
[1:02] of.
[1:03] >> Yeah, if you don't know me, um, don't
[1:06] Google me.
[1:08] Uh, I am Ned Fulmer. Oh, that was so
[1:12] uncomfortable. And um yeah, I used to be
[1:16] famous at BuzzFeed for trying new
[1:18] things. Then I cheated on my wife. Turns
[1:21] out that was the one thing I should not
[1:25] have tried that was new. I swear to God,
[1:28] Ned is like Spongebob with the ripped
[1:30] pants. He just keeps bringing up one
[1:33] thing, the cheating, and he's making it
[1:35] his whole brand now. He completely
[1:38] torpedoed his whole career because of
[1:42] him cheating and instead of just moving
[1:44] on and doing something else, he
[1:46] desperately clings to like internet [ __ ]
[1:49] and has made him being a cheater his
[1:52] whole thing. So now he does like a
[1:54] humiliation ritual, you know,
[1:56] terrorizing open mic nights here with
[1:59] this [ __ ] trash. It is I like it's
[2:03] incomprehensible
[2:04] to a sane mind. So, this video is about
[2:07] him like leading up to the standup
[2:09] getting coached on how to do standup.
[2:12] And every step of the way, he tries to
[2:13] find every excuse to mention him being a
[2:16] cheater. It's not even comedic. It just
[2:19] makes people already rightfully dislike
[2:21] you. Like, they're not even laughing at
[2:22] you. They're not even laughing with you.
[2:24] They're not even laughing. You're just
[2:26] telling them that you're a piece of
[2:28] [ __ ] Like, so the response, he does the
[2:31] exact same routine twice, and the
[2:32] response is always the same.
[2:35] Haha.
[2:37] Like like it makes no sense. He talks
[2:40] about cheating like those washed up
[2:42] peaked in high school losers talk about
[2:44] the time they were football quarterback
[2:46] for a single spring season. And balln
[2:50] knowowers will recognize that he's
[2:52] literally verbatim repeating something
[2:54] he said on that infamously
[2:56] trash podcast where he was just talking
[2:59] about why he cheated to the woman he
[3:02] cheated on. And he even said this exact
[3:04] thing line for line, bar for bar, beat
[3:07] for beat of, oh yeah, don't Google me.
[3:12] It's so weird. And I think the reason
[3:15] he's doing this is because he wants to
[3:18] just get like views off the absur the
[3:20] absurdity of it. He knows no one's like
[3:22] in his corner on his side. So he's
[3:25] hoping by playing into it and reminding
[3:27] everyone of it, they'll tune in for the
[3:29] train wreck. And it's not even working.
[3:32] This has 63 likes. I think it had like
[3:34] 10,000 views or something. But I've seen
[3:37] like a lot of people made videos around
[3:39] it. Like when I typed in Ned Fulmer
[3:41] standup, his was like the last one on
[3:43] the first page. So people are like
[3:46] pointing at him and throwing tomatoes,
[3:48] but they're never actually trickling
[3:49] back down to his channel cuz no one
[3:51] wants to see this [ __ ] man. It's so
[3:54] [ __ ] peculiar.
[3:56] made me
[3:58] check a lot of the privilege from past
[4:01] experiences
[4:03] being an influencer and stuff. But, you
[4:05] know, I've been practicing self-care
[4:07] lately. Uh, things like crying on the
[4:09] toilet and uh doom scrolling Tinder. You
[4:13] know, I got very discombobulated in the
[4:15] middle of my set. I got off track. I
[4:18] kind of forgot things. Uh, what else?
[4:21] What else? Um, you know, you could say
[4:23] I'm just I'm in the middle of a rebrand.
[4:25] You know, I'm embracing my jaded dadbod
[4:28] Ben Affleck back tattoo aesthetic. You
[4:31] know, I'm less daddy and I'm more every
[4:34] other weekend father.
[4:37] Yeah. No, I'm kidding. I have a great
[4:39] relationship with my kids. Bro, this
[4:42] guy's charisma is like my Trump phone.
[4:44] It just doesn't exist. It's actually
[4:46] impressive how devoid of life his
[4:50] speaking is. And that awkward stick can
[4:54] definitely work for a lot of talented
[4:55] comics. He is neither talented nor a
[4:58] comic. I don't really get what even made
[5:02] him think about doing standup in the
[5:04] first place beyond just giving people
[5:07] more ammunition to clown on him. It
[5:10] really might be a fetish for him at this
[5:11] point. I think that's definitely not off
[5:13] the table. These aren't even really
[5:16] jokes. He's not even telling jokes. He's
[5:18] just letting people know that he's a
[5:20] loser. But it's not even in like a
[5:22] comedic way where you'd like
[5:23] uncomfortably laugh at it. You just are
[5:25] sitting here watching a really weird
[5:30] specimen confess to being a piece of
[5:33] [ __ ]
[5:34] And that's really it.
[5:36] >> This experience has aged me. You know,
[5:37] I'm like the uh Yeah, true.
[5:41] I'm like the uh Obama before the
[5:44] presidency verse after meme. Um, except
[5:47] instead of killing Osama bin Laden, I
[5:50] killed my brand sponsorship
[5:51] opportunities.
[5:53] >> Yeah, right now the only brands that'll
[5:56] sponsor me are Boner Pills and Better
[5:59] Help.
[6:00] >> Pretty solid.
[6:01] >> Pretty solid. Yeah. No, actually
[6:03] BetterHelp rejected me too. My Boner
[6:06] Pills and BetterHelp line. Someone
[6:08] heckled like, "Hey, those are actually
[6:10] pretty good sponsors." I was like, "Oh,
[6:12] this is this is a different crowd."
[6:15] That's the only actual laugh that he
[6:17] gets throughout the set there when he
[6:18] says the experienced aged him. And it's
[6:21] because it's so bad that the people
[6:24] there who are also comics couldn't
[6:26] believe that he even bothered saying
[6:28] that [ __ ] It was so low that they
[6:30] laughed at him for it. And then he goes
[6:34] into like one of his lines about the
[6:36] Moner pills and better help. And then
[6:39] the laughter is gone. Also, one thing
[6:43] that he loves about his set is to assume
[6:46] everyone is just online all the time.
[6:48] So, we'll understand like Better Help
[6:51] and why that'd be like a joke here
[6:54] because of their reputation. And like he
[6:56] even opens his set about being social
[6:59] media famous like
[7:02] he's trying to cater to a specific crowd
[7:05] that is not going to open Mike Knights
[7:08] in the first place.
[7:10] I'm just trying to rebuild my life with
[7:12] integrity one day at a time. And I'm
[7:15] grateful to be here. Thankful to you all
[7:18] for having me. And I'm so so thankful to
[7:22] Boner Pills and BetterHelp for
[7:24] sponsoring today's set. Thank you. Thank
[7:25] you so much.
[7:28] >> Made some friends.
[7:30] >> Whoa. A lot of sad dudes get him to
[7:34] stand up after they get a divorce.
[7:37] >> Thanks for having me. Thanks for having
[7:39] me. Oh man, that was
[7:40] >> You got cooked. I got cooked pretty bad.
[7:42] >> YOU GOT COOKED, BRO. You're going to go
[7:44] therapy tomorrow for this.
[7:46] >> This is a good PSA for being faithful to
[7:48] your wife throughout this whole
[7:49] experience.
[7:50] >> Can't keep your dick in your pants,
[7:51] you're going to wind up bombing in the
[7:53] pool room at a Mexican restaurant
[7:56] 10:30 at night.
[7:57] >> Just watching Ned Fulmer interact with
[7:59] other human beings is like how an alien
[8:02] would try and talk with us. So like he's
[8:04] thanking the guy for having him there
[8:06] and the guy's actually giddy. He is
[8:08] giggling hard about how [ __ ] hard Ned
[8:12] just got cooked because it was a
[8:14] disaster for him. And the way that Ned's
[8:16] responding is it's like inhuman. Like
[8:20] there's almost no real
[8:23] like sentience behind his words. I don't
[8:26] know. Like I' I never really watched the
[8:28] Try Guys, so I'm not overly familiar
[8:30] with Ned, but like the way he talks with
[8:33] others feels really fake and forced.
[8:35] like there's no actual humanity or soul
[8:38] behind it. But yeah, the other comics
[8:40] going up there and just insulting him.
[8:43] That made me laugh. And I think it's a
[8:45] legitimate possibility that that's what
[8:46] he's going for here, just being the
[8:48] punching bag to try and soak some clams
[8:50] off the ad revenue from people insulting
[8:52] him and trying to make content out of
[8:54] people making fun of him. So, he's
[8:57] always putting himself in these
[8:58] positions for that to be ample
[9:02] opportunities to do so, which I think is
[9:05] just so
[9:08] embarrassing cringe pathetic pitiful
[9:12] almost like it's it's just what the [ __ ]
[9:16] is even the point? Like, just just do
[9:18] something else, man.
[9:20] >> Hello everybody. I'm Ned Fulmer. If you
[9:23] know me, I'm sorry. Uh, and if you don't
[9:26] know me, don't Google me.
[9:28] >> Yeah, I uh don't know if you know uh but
[9:32] I uh I was social media famous at
[9:35] BuzzFeed for trying new things and then
[9:38] I cheated on my wife. Turns out that was
[9:42] the one thing I really shouldn't have
[9:44] tried new.
[9:48] So, he's doing another open mic night.
[9:51] This time I think it's no comics in the
[9:53] crowd. I think this is just like an
[9:55] audience here to enjoy some standup.
[9:59] God rest their souls. They they didn't
[10:00] know what they were in store for here.
[10:02] They were held hostage by Ned Fulmer.
[10:05] This [ __ ] is more painful than like a
[10:07] [ __ ] ISIS beheading video here. But
[10:10] he does get more laughs this time
[10:11] around. I think it comes from a place of
[10:14] like them trying to be nice. So, it's a
[10:17] lot of pity laughs because I just can't
[10:21] imagine anyone genuinely having like a
[10:23] belly laugh or a hoot and a holler with
[10:26] any of his material. Ah, Buzzfeed. You
[10:29] know, I I basically wrote the listical
[10:31] 10 reasons why having a workplace affair
[10:34] will shatter your marriage and career.
[10:38] Like,
[10:41] subscribe.
[10:43] Yep. Good one, Ned.
[10:46] Like I said, these aren't even really
[10:47] jokes, and he doesn't even deliver them
[10:49] as such. It almost sounds spiteful.
[10:52] Like, it sounds like it's coming from a
[10:53] place of like saltiness about how all of
[10:56] this unfolded.
[10:58] And the way he like does the like,
[11:01] subscribe, like the very animated, you
[11:05] know, components there. It reminds me of
[11:08] like back in college when you would have
[11:10] a friend that's had one too many natty
[11:12] lights and they start trying to like
[11:14] tell jokes but they're really [ __ ] at
[11:16] it. It's led me to stand up though. Um,
[11:19] seems like I fit right in. Thank you
[11:21] very much for having me.
[11:24] This real speedrunning my divorced dad
[11:27] telling jokes narrative.
[11:30] I have been trying to make uh more male
[11:33] friends. That's something I've been
[11:34] working on. Um, it can be hard to make
[11:37] male friends in LA, especially if you
[11:40] don't do things like play pickle ball or
[11:43] have a stable relationship. Is it? I
[11:46] hate LA. It's one of my least favorite
[11:48] places in the country. But this is just
[11:50] like very telling that he's just not a
[11:53] good guy, even outside of the cheating,
[11:55] because there are tons of people who
[11:58] have had affairs that still have like an
[12:01] entire circle of friends. This guy, I'm
[12:04] assuming this is coming from a place of
[12:06] honesty cuz all he does is be honest
[12:07] about being a [ __ ] cheater and a
[12:09] scumbag. So, I'm assuming that he
[12:11] actually is struggling to make male
[12:13] friends. And I'm going to tell you right
[12:15] now, Ned, it's not because you're a
[12:16] cheater. You're just a [ __ ] loser and
[12:19] you're probably no fun to be around. And
[12:20] like I said, the way he interacts with
[12:22] people like in his videos that I've seen
[12:25] here is just really uncomfortable. Like,
[12:29] no one's going to want to be around
[12:30] that. He needs to figure out how to
[12:32] actually exist as a normal person before
[12:36] trying to like put together the puzzle
[12:38] pieces on how to be a influencer again,
[12:42] which I think is just the path he should
[12:44] abandon. He should prioritize just being
[12:47] a guy, like just being a decent person
[12:53] first and foremost, but he's trying to
[12:55] just skip that step and I guess speedrun
[12:59] his way to divorce dad telling jokes to
[13:02] make money off YouTube. And hopefully
[13:05] that ends up with him having friends too
[13:07] somewhere along the way.
[13:10] I uh all a lot of my friends in the
[13:12] group chat, they're they're married and
[13:13] they have kids, so the jokes hit
[13:14] different now. You know, my friends,
[13:16] they're like, "Oh gosh, I would just I
[13:19] would pay any price just to have an hour
[13:22] to myself." And I say, "My friends, a
[13:25] price does exist
[13:28] for a mere 50% of your net worth and
[13:31] crippling loneliness. You may have all
[13:34] the time in the world.
[13:36] Yeah, making friends is tough. Uh,
[13:39] dating as a single parent is tough. You
[13:41] know, it's less tequila soda and more My
[13:45] Little Soda pop.
[13:48] That's a K-pop Demon Hunters reference.
[13:52] It's a children's movie that I've seen
[13:54] approximately 84 times.
[14:00] [ __ ] sucks, man. Not much more to say
[14:03] about it. Every single aspect of this
[14:06] sucks. You suck.
[14:10] >> Um, I did go on a date with someone who
[14:12] is polyamorous lately.
[14:15] Uh, they invited me to meet their
[14:17] boyfriend. Actually, I'm like, whoa,
[14:20] this is huge. Meeting the boyfriend.
[14:23] Finally, here's a way to make male
[14:26] friends without having to play pickle
[14:28] ball.
[14:31] Thank you so much. That was his first
[14:33] actual punchline there. I don't think it
[14:35] was a very good one, but it was an
[14:38] actual joke that he told to close out
[14:41] that routine.
[14:43] So maybe we're just seeing him at the,
[14:46] you know, the genesis of a meteoric rise
[14:50] in the comedy space. You know, maybe
[14:53] he's going to start really finding his
[14:54] stride and turn away or find a way to
[14:57] turn his cheating into like the next
[15:00] gutbuster, like actual sides spplitting
[15:02] comedy routine. Ned Fulmer could be the
[15:05] guy to do it. He's He's got all the
[15:09] ingredients to create the perfect comic.
[15:11] No doubt.
[15:12] >> We did get some fun comments on
[15:14] Instagram once we booked Ned,
[15:18] but we did.
[15:20] We did a lot of people calling for us to
[15:23] punish him and I thought he's doing a
[15:26] 6:00 clown show at the Alleian vault.
[15:32] We're doing it.
[15:33] >> Yeah, him getting insulted does keep
[15:35] making me giggle. I I will say that much
[15:38] at the very least. And like one of the
[15:41] other comics said, it is a very real PSA
[15:44] to not cheat on your wife or be like a
[15:47] [ __ ] scumbag because you could end up
[15:49] like Ned Fulmer, this loser,
[15:52] just cruising around beclouding himself
[15:55] publicly for what I believe to be a
[15:59] desperate attempt to once again have
[16:01] that social media fame that he once did.
[16:05] Again, he starts his routine with
[16:07] reminding people of it. He still keeps
[16:10] posting this kind of [ __ ] And honestly,
[16:13] it does feel like he's even a little bit
[16:14] proud of him being a cheater because
[16:18] he's made it his whole personality, his
[16:20] whole brand. So, it really seems like
[16:23] there is a bit of pride with cheating in
[16:26] in his life. I guess at least that's the
[16:29] perception I take away from this kind of
[16:31] [ __ ] I I have no other explanation for
[16:33] that kind of behavior. It's so [ __ ]
[16:35] odd. He is a loser and he's trying to
[16:40] use that as the springboard to launch
[16:43] his internet career again. It's so
[16:46] fascinating to see. It really is. Uh
[16:49] anyway though,
[16:51] I had to yap about this. How could I
[16:53] resist yapping about some [ __ ] like
[16:55] this? It's about it. See you.