---
title: 'I Bought Every Illegal Survival Tool'
source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=OkFESTMFA0A'
video_id: 'OkFESTMFA0A'
date: 2026-07-29
duration_sec: 981
---

# I Bought Every Illegal Survival Tool

> Source: [I Bought Every Illegal Survival Tool](https://youtube.com/watch?v=OkFESTMFA0A)

## Summary

This video tests a variety of survival tools, rating them on practicality and legality. The host demonstrates everything from waterproof matches that reignite underwater to a flamethrower that's legal in most states, providing entertaining insights for outdoor enthusiasts.

### Key Points

- **Waterproof Matches** [00:00] — The matches continue burning underwater and reignite after being dipped, making them highly effective for wet conditions.
- **Pocket Chainsaw** [01:13] — A portable chainsaw that cuts through logs but is slower than a regular chainsaw. Rated 4 stars for portability.
- **Bear Horn** [02:09] — Extremely loud at 50.2 decibels above normal air horn, but illegal in public. Rated 2 stars for survival usefulness.
- **2 Million Lumen Flashlight** [03:03] — Claims high brightness but is underwhelming; strobe mode is more for dancing than survival. Rated low.
- **Ghillie Suit** [03:51] — Used for concealment, lightweight, but not essential for survival. Rated 2 stars.
- **LifeStraw** [04:37] — Filters 99.999% of bacteria from dirty water. Tasted acceptable after filtering. A reliable survival tool.
- **MREs** [05:52] — Meals Ready to Eat: pepperoni pizza and cheese tortellini. No cooking required, tasty, rated 5 stars.
- **1-Second Setup Tent** [08:25] — Sets up almost instantly, very easy to use, rated 5 stars for quick shelter.
- **Flamethrower (Flame Torch)** [09:49] — Legal in all states except Maryland; with a permit in California. Powerful and useful for starting fires, rated 5 stars.
- **Night Vision Goggles** [10:43] — Work well at night but not essential for survival. Rated 2 stars.
- **Shovel/Saw Combo** [11:09] — Ineffective as a saw, difficult to dig. Rated 2 stars.
- **Flint Necklace** [11:50] — Contains steel and flint for sparks, plus fishing line. Compact and versatile, rated 5 stars.
- **Laser Pointer** [12:56] — Dangerous and illegal if pointed at aircraft; punishment up to 20 years and $250,000 fine. Rated 1 star.
- **Soap Puck** [13:30] — Creates lather in water for cleaning, but limited use. Rated 2 stars.
- **Portable Toilet Kit** [14:01] — Impractical, uncomfortable, and includes unnecessary items like a door tag. Rated 1 star.
- **Survival Bow** [15:14] — Small but surprisingly effective; however, not as good as a real bow. Rated 2 stars.

### Conclusion

While many tools were fun to test, only a few like the LifeStraw, MREs, and flint necklace are truly valuable for survival. Legal considerations also matter, as some items can cause more trouble than help.

## Transcript

survival situations. Now, I'm going to test each one to see that claim to be waterproof. So, this is what a normal
match does. Light it up. It already went out. Let's try Okay. Instantly goes out in water. Not very useful if it's the waterproof matches. Wow! These are crazy. Look, it's all orange.
it. Whoa! So, now, apparently, if I dip it in water. Look, it's bubbling. And take it out. Whoa! It just reignited again! I've never seen anything like this. Oh, man. I better
put this out before it burns my fingers. again. This time, I'm gonna dip it in water and then try to strike it.
lit. And let's put it back in this water. Why not? It starts bubbling. It's in there for a while. Here we come in handy if you were trying to survive. I got
crazier! Look at this next one. The next tool I brought this log in half. But first, let's see how long it
takes compared to a normal chainsaw. Three, two, one, go!
Oh, man! That was way easier. This is working, though. I feel it going through. Almost through!
it. There we go! fast as a regular chainsaw. But you can't carry a chainsaw
are looking pretty high. I'm gonna give this one four stars. actually a bear horn. It's so loud, it's meant to scare
normal air horn, and I'm going to use a sound meter to see how loud it is. Cover your ears! Ow! I think it said 50.2. Now, we got the bear
All right. Everyone, cover your ears! Here we go! why this is illegal if you use it in public, because
it could cause a public disturbance. This thing really works, but survival. I'm gonna give it two stars. which as a comparison, an iPhone is 50 lumens. Let's turn
it on and see. Oh! That's not that impressive. I was obviously it would help, but for 2 million lumens, I feel front of me. It's not that bright. If this really was
someone's eyes because it could damage their vision, and that would strobe lights for dancing. Look at me dance! Whoa! Cool dance
party, while I'm trying to survive in the wilderness. Hope I then I can pretend like I'm the police. Not what I need when I actually need the police to find me. This
on screen. and wildlife photographers to blend in with their surroundings. I kind
lightweight, though, and I'm not that hot in it. This could as much fun as I know it is to hide in
sometimes people will use these to hide in bushes while they're disorderly conduct. So, if you're buying one of these, make sure I don't really see how this is necessary to survive, so
give this one two stars. This water is extremely dirty, but this LifeStraw claims to filter out 99.999% of bacteria. So, I'm gonna try this water and
see how it tastes. Oh! I'm not excited for this. All like a straw, and then I gotta stick this in here. Oh, this looks so disgusting. Do I have to do this?
Oh, I don't want to do this, man. I hope this works, because if it doesn't, I'm gonna be very upset.
I guess, it's clear. Seems to work, though, which is pretty in here. I mean, look at this. And the reason they say it's 99.999% is because if someone gets sick using it,
then it's no longer 100%. So, this gives them some deniability. mean I have to do another sip? I don't want to. No, don't chant my name. No! Oh,
Straw it by Mike! Straw it by Mike! is one of the most important things when you're trying to
the wilderness, you never know what you're going to eat. And get food, so they made MREs, Meals Ready to Eat. These
have expiration dates on them. All right, we have two different packs. I'm gonna try the pepperoni pizza meal first. This looks like it's pepperoni pizza. Oh, this looks interesting.
used to eat as a kid. Honestly, if I was out All right, let's try the next thing. An oatmeal cookie. Wow,
look at that. This is like a nice cookie. this is a good piece of food. All right, we got
cheese spread with jalapeno and vegetable crackers. Here's a cracker. Tastes like a normal cracker. Nothing too crazy. Look at that. Like, little Cheez Whiz.
like dry tasting. But the Cheez Whiz is really good. And then for dessert, apple pieces and spice sauce.
Wow! Look at that. Yum. All right. That's good. Look at these big chunks of apple. right, now let's compare it to this next meal. Cheese tortellini
and tomato sauce. Oh, that sounds good. It's crazy on here. It says US government property. Warfighter recommended. Warfighter tested. Warfighter approved. the cheese tortellini.
All right. Whoa! Look at this. It smells good. Let's see how it tastes, though. It's like not hot pasta, you know, like if someone left
it still tastes pretty good. Overall, I like the pepperoni pizza Plus, it came with dessert. Those apples were really good. All
I mean, you don't have to cook anything and you stop them five stars. Next, I have two tents. One claims a
Let's see if this is true!
Oh, man. hold it up. They're gonna do a kind of a crisscross
still... now, I gotta get the other end over here like I don't know how to do it. This is my first
Ah! We get this right here. Ah! Oh, he is done. You lost! You snooze, you lose. Oh, no! You're gonna break it. Well, this product was very
quick. Super easy to use actually. That was my first time mess. He didn't even get close to it. This set up almost instantly. I gotta give this one five stars. Next, I
have a flamethrower. Well, actually a flame torch. It's sleek, it's compact. Kind of looks like a James Bond weapon. Come on, baby.
Oh! There we go! Whoa!! This thing's crazy! Whoa! Wow, look That's a pretty big flame! Flamethrowers are legal in all states
except for Maryland. But in California, you have to have a just a flame torch, so it's actually legal everywhere. You can use it on grills, bonfires, anything that needs a fire. Whoa!
Everybody needs fire. I'm gonna have to give this five stars. during the night. So I bought some night vision goggles that
I can see almost everything. Whoa! This works pretty well. I I can perfectly see it. And this thing is pretty lightweight
and easy to use, so you don't need this to survive. at night. I'm gonna give it two stars. It does actually work, though. This shovel claims to be both a shovel and
to see if you had to pick one, which one would be better in your survival toolkit. Three, two, one, go!
Ah! This is hard. a dent in it. No! This is gonna take forever.
Oh, man. It's not working that great as a saw. gonna have to give this one two stars. It doesn't really
I had to pick one tool to have in my survival is a necklace that has a piece of steel and flint if I take this steel and strike this flint, it creates
sparks, which can start a fire. Whoa! You see that? Whoa! necklace open, it has all these strands. These ones right here on it. And then it has this red one, which is
this yellow one here, which is a fishing line. This thing that you don't just randomly start fires with it, because if be responsible for all the damages. Whoa! Look at that. This
it starts one of the most important things you need for survival, a fire. I'm gonna give this five stars. Let me show you. Look at that. You can see the
looks like a lightsaber 'cause it creates a beam, and this But if you misuse it, you can get in a lot thinks it's funny to point them at planes flying up ahead,
or temporarily affect their vision. Plus, it's against federal law, with the punishment of up to this could help you get found in a survival situation, but
more trouble than help. I'm gonna give it one star. And take care of yourself. This little puck doesn't look like much, but once you add it to water. Look at that. It
in handy if you're trying to wash yourself off. Need to wash your face or your hands. So I have to say, one when trying to survive. So I'm gonna give it two
And someone made a portable kit that has everything you need here. It's got wet wipes. We have a log of the down there about your bathroom activities. I don't know why you
A door tag? There's no door tags out in the wilderness. uncomfortable and kind of small. I don't know what this would
be holding. And plus, when nature calls, I don't think you wouldn't even be good to wear as underwear. It looks super a fire in your pants. Then we got a bag here.
Biohazard bag. I guess this is like to pick up after yourself like a dog? That doesn't make any sense. What's this? your nose like this, and then you can't smell anything. This
could come in handy when my cameraman, Joel, goes to the You don't want to know what that smells like. hilarious, though. But I got to give it one star. But
set up an archery challenge to see the difference between the First, the real bow and arrow. There we go! Hit the target. All right, let's try the
I guess you just put it here. This is not made well. Let's try it out. Here goes nothing. What the heck? This thing's so small.
Oh, my gosh! I can't believe it worked that well! Oh, all. I thought I was gonna have to walk all the the real bow and arrow. This thing won't actually help you
to give it two stars, though, 'cause I was pretty impressed top three that might be worth adding to your survival kit. the wrong place, they could get you in some legal trouble.
video here.