[0:00] I don't trust him with our kids.
[0:01] >> That's not the greatest thing to hear
[0:03] from our wife.
[0:05] >> But he did tell Lindsay something before
[0:06] you were supposed to come on. He's has
[0:09] an out plan.
[0:11] >> I'm living alone and the kids will go to
[0:13] you for a week. That is that is
[0:15] literally the plan. That's called
[0:17] divorce.
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[0:51] >> Hi, I'm Callie. I'm 28. I'm Drew. I'm
[0:54] 29. We're from the Dallas Fort Worth
[0:56] area
[0:56] >> and this is Financial Audit.
[0:59] >> Welcome. Thanks for coming down to
[1:02] Austin guys.
[1:04] >> Listen, no, you're welcome. You're
[1:05] welcome. I I know I need to be a part of
[1:07] this conversation. I looked at the note
[1:09] for the episode. Don't know much else
[1:11] about y'all, but I know one of you says,
[1:13] "I'm the financial audit of the
[1:15] relationship," which I've never heard
[1:16] that before, and I need Caleb to help me
[1:19] essentially reaffirm that. who is
[1:21] financially auditing each other in this
[1:23] relationship. I don't know. As the
[1:25] financial audit guy, by the way, I do
[1:26] not financial audit my relationship. I
[1:28] don't know how long my relationship
[1:30] would ask if I was financially auditing
[1:32] and Caleb hammering my own relationship
[1:34] on a daily basis. I think she would
[1:36] murder me. Who's financial auditing each
[1:39] other? And who's murdering each other?
[1:41] >> So, I'm trying to financially audit
[1:43] Cali.
[1:44] >> Okay, good luck.
[1:46] >> Yeah, I need it.
[1:47] >> So, what's going on? What? What? What
[1:49] are you financially auditing? Cali, are
[1:50] you guys married?
[1:51] >> Yeah. Get some baselines.
[1:53] >> I said no.
[1:54] >> How the are we disagreeing on marriage?
[1:57] That doesn't make sense. That immediate
[1:59] I'm going to be honest. What the
[2:01] >> Okay, we're not legally married. We are
[2:03] quote Texas common law married. We have
[2:05] >> Okay. So, what do you what do you guys
[2:07] call yourselves?
[2:08] >> Husband and wife.
[2:09] >> Husband and wife. Yeah.
[2:10] >> Then what do you say? No, you're common
[2:12] law married.
[2:13] >> From like a legal standpoint,
[2:15] >> you got the common law protection. You
[2:17] establish it. common law married.
[2:18] >> Okay, then yes, we're married.
[2:20] >> Okay. How long have you, I guess, been
[2:22] together?
[2:23] >> Um, we've been together for like 8
[2:25] years.
[2:25] >> Yeah, about 8 years, I think.
[2:26] >> Why the don't Why not just get married?
[2:29] >> Um, number one, very expensive.
[2:31] >> Not really. Go to the courthouse.
[2:33] >> Okay. I wanted I would I offered that
[2:35] and then his parents said that his
[2:38] parents
[2:38] >> we should have one for the family to
[2:40] bring.
[2:40] >> Okay. So, now we just have none at all.
[2:43] Should be your response to the parents.
[2:45] I mean, you guys are doing I pulled up
[2:47] to work all happy, all excited to get
[2:50] here, get myself a cup of coffee, and I
[2:52] saw you guys flinging dirty diapers in
[2:54] the parking lot. You guys are breeding.
[2:57] >> You ain't married, common law. You guys
[2:59] have been together, but you're breeding.
[3:00] There's children in my office.
[3:03] >> I don't know how many, but there's
[3:04] noises. As I was going out there right
[3:06] before filming,
[3:07] >> how many kids y'all got together?
[3:09] >> Three.
[3:11] >> Oh [ __ ] And you can't even get married?
[3:13] That's weird. How old?
[3:15] >> Um 6 20 months and 6 months.
[3:17] >> What?
[3:18] >> 6 years old. 20 months and 6 months.
[3:21] >> Okay. Why? Why? 20 months. That's the
[3:24] >> He's not 2 years old.
[3:25] >> He's basically
[3:26] >> Say that to him.
[3:28] >> I Okay. He's basically two. You argue
[3:30] with
[3:30] >> I lost track of the months. I just say
[3:32] that he's going to be two in September.
[3:33] >> No, you don't. You go. I don't like
[3:35] that.
[3:35] >> Okay. So, 6 years, 20 months, and 6
[3:39] months.
[3:39] >> Yeah.
[3:40] >> Okay. So, well, we're on a roll. Well,
[3:42] it sounds like you guys are pumping them
[3:44] out quickly. Now, is is there a fourth
[3:46] one coming? Because you went from 20
[3:47] months 6 months.
[3:49] >> No,
[3:50] >> it's on the table, but we're years away.
[3:53] >> See, again, you guys aren't aligned.
[3:54] What? What? What?
[3:55] >> Well, you say if if you ask if another
[3:57] one's coming. I'm assuming like right
[3:59] now. No, we're not.
[4:00] >> You're about to turn 30. When's the
[4:02] years away? You know what happening?
[4:04] Okay. Well, you'd be okay, I guess. But
[4:06] just start heading towards the cliff.
[4:08] >> Well, yes, I guess. Well, it's just if
[4:11] we're making plans, right? I don't know.
[4:14] >> Yeah.
[4:14] >> Are you raw dogging?
[4:16] >> Yeah.
[4:17] >> Okay. So, I don't think it's necessarily
[4:19] 5 years away.
[4:21] >> Could be if we plan it right.
[4:23] >> Oh, absolutely. But it could happen at
[4:26] any time. It's happened on this show.
[4:28] It's likely. Were all them intentional?
[4:30] >> Um,
[4:31] >> exactly.
[4:31] >> No.
[4:32] >> Exactly.
[4:33] >> No.
[4:33] >> And neither was I. This is biology.
[4:35] Welcome to Come. We just recently
[4:39] combined everything.
[4:40] >> 8 years in.
[4:42] >> Yeah.
[4:42] >> Well, I think I understand the why you
[4:45] guys broke up and then you found out
[4:47] you're pregnant, so you're just like,
[4:48] "A, we'll do it."
[4:49] >> Well, no, we got pregnant after we got
[4:51] back together.
[4:52] >> Okay.
[4:53] >> But no, we just recently combined
[4:56] everything. Um, and so with that, he's
[4:58] trying to have more control over it. And
[5:00] I don't like that cuz I haven't had to
[5:02] do that my entire life. Have I had to
[5:05] ask someone, can I go buy this?
[5:08] Um so
[5:09] >> because I'm married, it's not
[5:11] necessarily permission on everything,
[5:13] but it is a conversation whether or not
[5:14] we can afford it in the budget in order
[5:17] to hit the goals that we're trying to
[5:18] get to as a couple.
[5:19] >> That'd be correct if um that was shared
[5:23] with the class.
[5:23] >> If what? Share your [ __ ] Tell you share
[5:25] with the class what the I'm trying to
[5:27] get some insight. Tell me.
[5:28] >> Tell you what,
[5:29] >> what's going on? Why are you saying
[5:30] that? What does that mean?
[5:32] >> I have no clue. So, in all honesty, I
[5:34] >> What is going on then for you to say
[5:35] that? You just have no insight. Is that
[5:37] what you're trying to tell me?
[5:37] >> No, I don't.
[5:38] >> Okay, that's what you got to say.
[5:40] >> Okay. So, why?
[5:41] >> Because he puts it all in a little black
[5:42] book while he works overnight and then
[5:44] doesn't tell me about it and or it's on
[5:46] an app on his phone now and then doesn't
[5:49] show us like the budget. Doesn't show me
[5:51] the budget. We don't have any
[5:52] conversations about it. Ask.
[5:54] >> Well, it's not that she It's not that
[5:56] she can't know. We have conversations
[5:57] about it. I'm not trying to hide.
[5:59] >> She's saying everything that's going on.
[6:01] She's But okay. Well, what
[6:03] >> he doesn't actively try and I've told
[6:05] him multiple times, we need to schedule
[6:06] a time like on a Sunday, sit down, fix
[6:08] our budget, plan out like meals and
[6:10] stuff together, and this is what we need
[6:12] to do, like plan out our grocery list
[6:14] and all of that good stuff. But he has
[6:17] yet to like try that. I'm still the one
[6:20] making the grocery list.
[6:21] >> Wait, but he he was saying in the pre-in
[6:24] that it's all your fault. You weren't
[6:25] even supposed to be on. We just luckily
[6:27] convinced you to come on because he was
[6:29] saying it's all your fault and all your
[6:30] spending. But you're saying he's not
[6:32] willing to put in the effort or try.
[6:35] >> But then he makes like massive payments
[6:37] on cards and then I don't
[6:38] >> cards. Well, yeah. Paying off debt.
[6:40] Wouldn't that be good?
[6:42] >> Correct.
[6:42] >> What's wrong with that?
[6:43] >> But if I don't know about it in our
[6:45] budget and I'm planning to like grocery
[6:46] shop and then money goes out and then I
[6:48] don't tight it. What do you guys do?
[6:50] What do you What do you do for work,
[6:51] Kelly?
[6:51] >> So, I work in real estate.
[6:53] >> Well, in what context?
[6:55] >> I work in management. Property
[6:56] management.
[6:57] >> Okay. Okay. That that could make money.
[6:59] I don't know.
[7:00] So, what do you make?
[7:01] >> I make $96,200 a year.
[7:04] >> Okay, go yourselves. How possibly are we
[7:07] talking about? We made a payment on a
[7:09] car. Now, we don't know if we can get
[7:10] groceries if half of our income is
[7:13] $96,000 a year. Die. What the is wrong
[7:16] with you? That's that you're acting like
[7:18] children. If you're saying making a
[7:20] payment on a card prevents you from
[7:21] getting groceries, you're being
[7:23] children. It doesn't prevent, but it
[7:25] does kind of throw things off when I'M
[7:27] NOT
[7:27] >> NO, NOT enough for half the income.
[7:30] >> I'm not on the Wells Fargo account. I'm
[7:32] not on the MX account. And he goes he
[7:34] goes and does stuff with the MX and
[7:36] makes a payment with the Wells Fargo.
[7:38] >> The problem is that Exactly. Like you
[7:40] said, no communication.
[7:42] >> We We make money. We have sat down and
[7:44] built out a budget and then the second
[7:47] life starts happening, we just throw the
[7:49] budget out the window and it's hundreds
[7:51] of dollars towards this, hundreds of
[7:53] dollars towards that. Stuff that's not
[7:55] in the budget, stuff that we don't
[7:56] actually need.
[7:57] >> What What are we getting that we don't
[7:58] need? Who's getting what we don't need?
[8:00] How often?
[8:01] >> You're crying and complaining that you
[8:03] couldn't get groceries, but you're
[8:05] getting [ __ ] you don't need. So that's
[8:06] that's not the same thing.
[8:08] >> It's not the same thing.
[8:09] >> What is she getting? What is she doing?
[8:10] >> God, I mean, it's everything. It's
[8:12] clothes for herself. Um, you know,
[8:15] shoes. I don't even know what she's
[8:16] getting on Amazon, but [ __ ] just keeps
[8:18] showing up almost every single day. And
[8:21] then not to mention all all the new
[8:23] hobbies that she picks up. Have you ever
[8:25] seen how expensive pottery is pottery?
[8:27] >> Oh, why the are you picking up? Listen,
[8:29] I mean, do a hobby. Hobbies fine. You
[8:31] guys make money. You can get a hobby,
[8:33] but you got to have a fully funed,
[8:35] emergency fund, and no bad debt,
[8:36] >> right?
[8:37] >> And even if you even if you have those
[8:39] things, stick to a hobby. Don't hobby
[8:41] hobby. You're a hobby hopper.
[8:42] >> I am a hobby hopper.
[8:43] >> If you're a hobby hopper, you can't
[8:44] afford to be hobby hopping. You should
[8:46] be able to at 96.
[8:47] >> Set hobby, but I set out to learn
[8:48] something new this year. And I wanted to
[8:50] learn
[8:50] >> new this year. Okay. How many new things
[8:51] is she learning this year?
[8:53] >> This year, I think it's just the pottery
[8:55] so far.
[8:56] >> Okay. Well, how much is it cost? 96. You
[8:58] should be able to do pottery. You can do
[9:00] pottery. 96.
[9:01] >> Pottery is very expensive.
[9:02] >> 96. You can do it. You alone are making
[9:05] more than the median household income in
[9:07] the DFW area in the United States.
[9:10] >> We should be able to afford that. I
[9:12] agree.
[9:12] >> You can if you're not it all up.
[9:14] >> And on all the Amazon packages, my good
[9:17] sir, that's all for work currently.
[9:19] >> That is not all for work.
[9:21] >> All of the packages that are
[9:22] >> the ones that are coming the ones that
[9:24] are coming right now are for work. Your
[9:26] company's paying for that. But over the
[9:28] last I bought one.
[9:30] >> Why do you refuse to show them your
[9:31] Amazon account though? I'm being told
[9:32] that. I've you pull out my phone. We can
[9:35] pull it up right now. You can have it,
[9:36] buddy.
[9:37] >> Why have you refused to show it up until
[9:38] this moment, though?
[9:39] >> Never refused. I've gone through it.
[9:41] >> Why are you saying that then? Why are
[9:42] you telling Why are you telling Lindsay
[9:44] that you refuse that she refuses to show
[9:46] you?
[9:46] >> I think it's because she doesn't want me
[9:48] to see all of the stuff.
[9:49] >> If she's saying she doesn't refuse,
[9:51] though so
[9:54] now if she would if she would ask if I
[9:56] would ask.
[9:56] >> No, we'll look at that later. But you
[9:58] specifically told us that she refuses to
[10:00] show it, but she's saying no. No, no. I
[10:02] don't refuse.
[10:03] >> He's never asked. He's never said
[10:05] anything.
[10:06] >> So, you're saying he refuses to show you
[10:08] the finances? She's He's saying you
[10:10] refuse.
[10:11] >> I've asked. That's the difference is I
[10:13] ask. I say, "Hey, what are we like what
[10:15] what are we what's our budget?" And then
[10:17] he wants to throw out that I go and buy
[10:18] all these clothes. He has set a $100
[10:21] like clothing fund within our budget.
[10:24] And I don't ever
[10:25] >> every single month,
[10:26] >> right? But I've only bought one outfit
[10:29] for myself in like 2 months.
[10:32] >> Absolutely not true.
[10:33] >> I bought a shirt, a pair of pants, and
[10:35] then last month I bought two dresses.
[10:37] >> Okay, how about last month when we That
[10:39] might have even been just 3 weeks ago,
[10:42] we went to the sporting goods store.
[10:44] >> I bought a bathing suit and a bathing
[10:45] suit cover up.
[10:46] >> $400.
[10:48] >> And then we bought a couple of things. I
[10:50] And that's honestly because the store we
[10:51] went to, that's very expensive. I bought
[10:52] a bathing suit, a bathing suit cover up,
[10:54] and then a workout outfit.
[10:57] for the gym. Like that was it.
[10:59] >> It was $400.
[11:01] >> It's Well, you can't wear your bikini
[11:04] out in the middle of public, right?
[11:06] >> Who?
[11:07] >> Um public indecency laws.
[11:09] >> Is this true?
[11:10] >> That is not true.
[11:11] >> I've live Well, Lifetime has the rule
[11:13] that you can't walk out in out of like
[11:15] the dressing room.
[11:16] >> Okay, whatever. That's that that's not
[11:17] the big point. Okay, you complained. You
[11:20] you made the excuse it was dependent on
[11:22] the store. Why'd you go to that store
[11:23] then? That was just what was closest to
[11:25] his parents house and we were going
[11:27] >> if you're going to go to another place.
[11:28] >> Well, I mean
[11:30] >> the entire excuse for that which by the
[11:32] way again you guys can afford a $400
[11:34] purchase. We we haven't even talked
[11:35] about your job. You
[11:36] >> should be able to.
[11:37] >> Median household for your metro $70,000.
[11:40] Yeah.
[11:40] >> You make 94. You not even him included.
[11:44] What do you do for a living?
[11:45] >> I work in public safety.
[11:47] >> Public safety usually pays well these
[11:49] days. What do you make?
[11:50] >> Uh so I make a shade over $50 an hour.
[11:54] Guys,
[11:57] what the are we doing? What does that
[11:59] translate to?
[12:00] >> Around 107 annually.
[12:04] >> You make $200,000 a year in an area
[12:06] where the median household income is 70.
[12:09] And you're telling me you can't get
[12:10] groceries? You shouldn't even be
[12:12] freaking out about a $500 purchase. How
[12:15] have you guys this up so bad? And then
[12:17] you guys don't even have the same
[12:20] conclusion in the end about what it
[12:23] looks like today or how it's gotten
[12:24] there.
[12:25] >> What the has happened. Yeah. Lack of
[12:28] communication. But I don't know which
[12:29] side's correct if any.
[12:31] >> Well, it's not just a lack of
[12:32] communication. We have spent so long
[12:34] living above our means that
[12:36] >> above 200 a year.
[12:38] >> Well, it wasn't always 200. That's only
[12:40] been in the last year and a half or so.
[12:42] >> What? Year and a half is great. So even
[12:44] still last year and a half let's say you
[12:46] lived above your means before that last
[12:48] year and a half you should be able to
[12:49] pay that down.
[12:50] >> So what the are you doing? What is what
[12:53] is
[12:53] >> I think it's just mismanagement of money
[12:55] to be honest
[12:56] >> from
[12:56] >> from probably both parties.
[12:58] >> What' you say both parties to an extent?
[13:00] Yeah.
[13:01] >> Okay.
[13:01] >> I spend but he doesn't communicate what
[13:04] we need to pay and when and how those
[13:06] payments are aligning. Like I know that
[13:08] he has set up how we're going to what is
[13:10] it your payment method for like paying
[13:13] things off.
[13:14] >> Oh the avalanche.
[13:15] >> Oh is avalanche. Okay. Yeah that doesn't
[13:17] work if we spend more money on them
[13:18] anyway. So he's probably not doing
[13:20] avalanche. I don't know. People have
[13:21] this in their mind then they don't even
[13:23] touch it. Yeah was the plan. Immediately
[13:25] spent only did the minimum payment on
[13:27] the top card and then spent double the
[13:30] balance that was already on it. So
[13:32] avalanche you. What are you talking
[13:34] about? There's no avalanche. How do the
[13:35] financial conversations go in this
[13:36] household?
[13:37] >> Not well.
[13:38] >> Tell me.
[13:39] >> It ends in a fight. Always. Um, he
[13:43] thinks he's right. I think I'm right. We
[13:44] butt our heads. And then
[13:46] >> what's the perspective? Tell me. Give me
[13:48] like the most recent example. So my plan
[13:51] is we discuss how much is going to come
[13:54] in. Our um our income is pretty set in
[13:58] stone with the exception of any overtime
[13:59] that I get. That's just extra. Um, and
[14:03] so then we can build out, you know, if
[14:05] we're going to spend $1,000 on groceries
[14:07] every month, uh, we know what our
[14:09] mortgage payment is going to be, we know
[14:10] what the car payments are going to be,
[14:12] we know what our utilities are going to
[14:13] be, and then we should have x amount
[14:16] left over to in this case or given our
[14:19] circumstances, we need to be able to
[14:21] apply that to the debts, but instead it
[14:25] just gets spent on other things.
[14:28] And then the conversations are usually
[14:31] well you know we have we have to do this
[14:33] this is coming up we need to make sure
[14:36] that we can put this money towards this
[14:38] or the second we get any unexpected
[14:40] money instead of applying that towards
[14:42] our existing debts it's I think we
[14:45] should do this with it instead
[14:47] >> but that's always a conversation and he
[14:48] typically agrees to it. It is never me
[14:51] deciding.
[14:52] >> What do you mean? How did that turn into
[14:53] a fight? I said for a recent example,
[14:54] but you guys say you're fighting. What
[14:56] was
[14:56] >> Because we argue about where money goes
[14:59] and then he gets angry about what I
[15:00] spend money on. So if I go and buy my
[15:03] daughter something, he gets he will
[15:06] argue about that. Um or that she doesn't
[15:08] need this.
[15:08] >> That's an example is what I'm asking
[15:10] for. That's what I asked for, guys. Come
[15:11] on.
[15:12] >> He went and bought clothes.
[15:13] >> Clothes. Okay. $890 of clothes.
[15:16] >> Yeah, it's expensive. Expensive. You
[15:19] should be able to afford it in your
[15:20] budget though. You should be able to.
[15:21] What was the argument?
[15:22] >> It It wasn't budgeted. She said, "I'm
[15:24] going to go to Target. I'm going to get
[15:26] a couple of clothes for the kids."
[15:27] >> I said, "I'm going to get all summer
[15:29] clothes because they all need it. They
[15:31] are all in the next size up at the very
[15:33] same time."
[15:34] >> And then without any further
[15:35] conversation, it was I'm buying their
[15:38] full wardrobes for the next four to 6
[15:40] months when we don't have that kind of
[15:42] money available.
[15:43] >> That doesn't make sense. You don't pay
[15:44] for that. Six shirts for my
[15:46] six-year-old. Four pairs of pants, two
[15:48] dresses, and a pair of shoes and
[15:50] underwear.
[15:50] >> Damn. Why'd you got to get so much in
[15:52] one go?
[15:53] >> What do you mean? It's There's seven
[15:55] days in a week.
[15:56] >> She didn't have anything else, and
[15:57] there's no hand-me-downs from the
[15:58] previous.
[15:59] >> She's the oldest.
[16:00] >> There's no family members. I don't know.
[16:01] So, there was no confirmed. There was no
[16:04] other clothes for her to wear.
[16:05] >> Her closet's full. She's borderline 40.
[16:07] What do you mean it's full? Half her
[16:09] butt is hanging out in her bike shorts.
[16:10] Her shorts are her shirt lifts up and
[16:12] shows her tummy whenever she's out. Do
[16:14] you really want her walking around with
[16:15] her belly and butt out?
[16:17] >> She's obviously not.
[16:18] >> No, she's very lean, but she's very
[16:20] tall. So, like the skirt we bought her
[16:23] four months ago, or I mean 6 months ago
[16:25] at this point, doesn't fit.
[16:26] >> Then why in this moment did you text and
[16:27] call him and say, "Ied up."
[16:29] >> I texted him at checkout and was like,
[16:31] "Okay, I that is not literally my text.
[16:36] I up." And he said, "Oh,
[16:38] >> did you though? Cuz right now you're
[16:39] saying you clearly did."
[16:40] >> I don't think I did. I don't think
[16:41] >> Why did you text me up? because I knew
[16:43] he'd be mad about the cost. But then he
[16:46] doesn't ever go buy their clothes.
[16:47] >> What store?
[16:49] >> Target.
[16:50] >> That's not unreasonable.
[16:52] >> Like I wasn't going to Justice. I wasn't
[16:54] going to
[16:55] >> I don't know what that is, but it's a
[16:57] girl store.
[16:57] >> Well,
[16:58] >> I wasn't going anywhere crazy. It's
[16:59] Target and it was $5 Cat and Jack shirts
[17:01] and bike shorts.
[17:03] >> Yeah. I'm not saying that the entire
[17:05] purchase was completely unreasonable,
[17:06] but maybe a little heads up that we're
[17:08] spending almost $1,000.
[17:10] >> Heads up was fine. Did he know? Did he
[17:13] know you were going?
[17:13] >> He did know. I I told him I'm
[17:15] >> So, what was the What did he think was
[17:17] happening?
[17:18] >> He probably thought I was going to spend
[17:19] like $200. But then again, had he ever
[17:23] gone and bought clothing for our
[17:24] children, he would know.
[17:26] >> Is that what you all have negotiated
[17:28] responsibilities around the house?
[17:30] >> No.
[17:30] >> Okay. Cuz I'll be completely honest, in
[17:32] her pre-in she says you're lazy around
[17:33] the house, that you check out at the
[17:34] house, that you just show up and you're
[17:36] just a bad uh
[17:38] >> partner. Yeah. That Well, that is what
[17:40] she said.
[17:41] >> Yeah. I I'm not perfect, but
[17:42] >> Well, not perfect. I mean, she made it
[17:44] sound a little worse. Like, you just
[17:45] don't contribute. So, like, yeah, you
[17:48] wouldn't have any perspective in buying
[17:50] clothes and whatnot if you don't help.
[17:53] >> Like, when was the last time you went
[17:54] and bought them clothes? Give me an
[17:56] actual time, a time frame when you went
[17:59] with me or whenever you went and bought
[18:01] them yourself.
[18:02] >> I don't know. I mean, in the last 6
[18:03] months or so, I've been there or went
[18:06] and bought
[18:07] >> you pair of shoes a month ago and before
[18:09] that. Can you give me another example?
[18:13] >> Not off the top of my head. No.
[18:14] >> Okay.
[18:16] >> What is this lack of helping around the
[18:18] house then? Cuz that's going and buying
[18:20] clothes. But I want more perspective
[18:22] into this.
[18:23] >> So he works nights. Um so on those
[18:25] nights he takes a a short nap um the day
[18:28] of or he has the kids. I work full-time
[18:30] and I I'm throughout the day. So he has
[18:32] the kids. Um, and we have two small ones
[18:35] that don't always lean the most ability
[18:38] to clean, which is okay. Um, but then he
[18:43] has the two days that he's off and he
[18:45] does jack [ __ ] the entire time. He
[18:49] rarely gets up and then the last day
[18:51] that he's off. So like if he works
[18:53] Tuesday and Wednesday or Wednesday and
[18:54] Thursday, he doesn't really do anything
[18:56] until Friday evening or Saturday.
[18:58] >> How many hours a week are you working?
[18:59] So, I have an alternating schedule. Uh,
[19:02] on my short week, I work uh 24 hours. On
[19:06] my long week, I work
[19:07] >> What's he doing on his 24 hours? He's
[19:08] not doing anything.
[19:09] >> That's a great question. I don't know. I
[19:11] clean the whole house.
[19:11] >> Listen, I understand your schedule's a
[19:12] bit. Okay. Your sleep's a bit weird.
[19:14] That I mean, that is fair. That part's
[19:16] fair, but 24 hours, you got you can step
[19:19] up a little at the house. No.
[19:21] >> Yeah. I mean, I I try I do try, but you
[19:23] try.
[19:24] >> Um, well, last week, uh, it was raining.
[19:27] He left the dog outside in the rain. and
[19:28] he slept on the couch. Our toddler was
[19:30] running around with a marker colored on
[19:31] the couch and the baby was awake. And I
[19:34] was in the middle of a work call, got
[19:35] off of that, went downstairs and I said,
[19:37] "Are you kidding me?"
[19:40] Yeah,
[19:42] >> buddy.
[19:43] >> How do you defend yourself?
[19:44] >> What the are we doing? Look, it I I do I
[19:47] do try my hardest to make sure that they
[19:50] are that they're safe, that I'm not
[19:51] leaving them in weird positions like
[19:53] that. But when I'm when I'm working 12
[19:56] hours overnight and then I come home and
[19:58] now I'm responsible for an almost
[20:00] 2-year-old and a baby and keeping them
[20:03] quiet to a point that she can that she
[20:05] can work and not have the noises of of
[20:07] children's lives interrupt her phone.
[20:09] >> This was a Monday or Tuesday. So my
[20:10] sister was off of work and available to
[20:13] help. I also offered
[20:14] >> that was my second question.
[20:16] >> I also offered and said I will take them
[20:18] if you need me to. What do you need from
[20:20] me? And he said no it's fine. I'm gonna
[20:22] try to get them down for a nap and then
[20:25] never sleep.
[20:26] >> It doesn't work because I was about to
[20:27] defend you cuz your sleep that is your
[20:29] sleep schedule and that's fair. I was
[20:30] about to defend you but if the sister
[20:32] was willing to step in and she offered
[20:33] you can't take the responsibility and
[20:35] then not
[20:35] >> he's like the partner in a school
[20:37] project whenever you do all of the work
[20:38] and then he goes me too. And then he
[20:40] gets a grade for it.
[20:41] >> How's y'all's relationship right now?
[20:44] >> We're we're trying. It's it's it's
[20:47] rocky. It's a really hard
[20:48] >> Why is it rocky? So because we have this
[20:51] exact conversation
[20:53] >> 50 times a week.
[20:54] >> Exactly.
[20:55] >> Why did you step up after you have that
[20:57] issue?
[20:57] >> Well, I I
[20:58] >> It's not like a biological problem
[20:59] you're having. That's like a
[21:02] >> It's not like you're not getting hard,
[21:05] >> right?
[21:06] >> And which there are pills for that.
[21:07] >> Okay. And there's pills for that. So
[21:08] there we go. But even so, this is
[21:10] literally just behavior,
[21:13] >> right? I understand that. And
[21:15] >> you're someone with discipline. You're
[21:16] in public. After we h after we have
[21:18] these conversations, I do get better for
[21:20] >> a few days for a period of time and then
[21:23] I and then I have days where I struggle
[21:26] and it's
[21:27] >> it it's hard to have a great day every
[21:30] day. But I I do asking for great day
[21:32] every day.
[21:33] >> Sometimes it feels that way.
[21:34] >> Okay. But also you went to help them buy
[21:36] shoes once in the last 6 months.
[21:40] >> That's not great day every day request.
[21:42] >> But the the biggest conversation that we
[21:44] have is more around the house.
[21:46] because she she complains almost I mean
[21:50] I'd say four times a week that she's
[21:52] doing all the cleaning around the house
[21:54] and that I do nothing to help. But like
[21:56] I said before, I'm having to keep these
[21:59] two rambunctious children active and
[22:03] doing something in a way that it doesn't
[22:06] interrupt or interfere with her work.
[22:08] >> Right. But then you complain to Lindsay
[22:09] that she doesn't cook enough.
[22:10] >> Right. She But there's days where she
[22:12] chooses not to cook.
[22:14] >> Yes. because she had she had a long day
[22:16] of work and instead of cooking, we're
[22:18] just going to order something.
[22:19] >> Can you cook?
[22:21] >> Absolutely. And I love cooking.
[22:22] >> Oh, does he cook?
[22:23] >> Occasionally. Okay, if you love to cook,
[22:25] then cook. But expecting me to cook
[22:28] dinner, clean the entire house, manage
[22:30] all three kids, work a full-time job.
[22:32] Not to mention, I'm also in school.
[22:35] I'm so sorry. I feel like I have a
[22:37] Thanksgiving plate and it's overflowing.
[22:39] And yours has a slice of turkey and
[22:41] maybe a little dollop of potatoes. Take
[22:43] some damn sides off my plate and have a
[22:46] low like have a field day with it. Dude,
[22:49] I don't know what you want.
[22:50] >> You think she's lazy?
[22:52] >> No, I don't think No, you think he's
[22:53] lazy?
[22:54] >> Yes. I mean, he'll do the dishes, but he
[22:57] does
[22:58] >> the dishes. Doesn't clean off the
[23:00] counters. Doesn't clean off the stove.
[23:02] Doesn't take things and put them away.
[23:05] He does the dishes in less sink.
[23:08] >> Are you a minimum effort guy at the
[23:10] house? I I really try not to be, but
[23:12] some days I say the good words. You say
[23:15] you're trying, you do, you want to all
[23:17] these things, but you don't do any of
[23:21] it.
[23:22] >> So, you got the good words, but where's
[23:25] the good actions? You're a disciplined
[23:26] man. You're in public safety.
[23:28] >> You went through it.
[23:29] >> You helped the world be disciplined. Why
[23:32] can't you bring some of that to home? I
[23:34] don't know. I guess maybe I'm just
[23:37] giving too much at work and not allowing
[23:41] myself to have any extra effort to give
[23:44] once I come home.
[23:45] >> It feels a little bit like a cope. I'm
[23:46] not going to lie.
[23:47] >> I mean like maybe that's true, but it
[23:49] feels like family dinners on Sundays
[23:51] with your co-workers and you
[23:52] occasionally find dark dilapidated
[23:54] corners and take naps.
[23:55] >> So
[23:58] I'm confused. I don't get to take naps
[24:01] at work.
[24:03] >> I don't take naps at work.
[24:05] Okay.
[24:06] >> Huh? But why what are you insisting or
[24:08] insinuating here?
[24:09] >> He takes naps at work.
[24:11] >> So, I mean, you're he's saying that he's
[24:13] one of those where you're allowed to.
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[26:56] official rules for details. So,
[27:00] yes and no. I mean,
[27:02] >> obvious obviously it's not ideal to do
[27:05] that. Uh, and I and I do my best not to.
[27:08] I've I've dozed off. I'm not going to
[27:09] lie to you and say that I haven't dozed
[27:11] off and fallen asleep.
[27:11] >> So then you're not giving up when we're
[27:13] not when we're not having a busy night
[27:15] at home. That's my argument there is.
[27:18] >> Yeah.
[27:19] >> I mean to be clear with the spending and
[27:21] a lot of things you do, not the clothes
[27:23] thing, but we do know from what we
[27:25] looked at that you are the aggressive
[27:28] aggressive spender on [ __ ]
[27:30] >> You are the villain there,
[27:32] >> right?
[27:32] >> But you're kind of the villain of being
[27:34] lazy at home. And I feel like you're
[27:35] almost taking it out. I'm just going and
[27:38] swiping,
[27:39] >> which doesn't necessarily help us in the
[27:41] end, right? As a household.
[27:43] >> Listen, if he is,
[27:44] >> sometimes you need like a break.
[27:46] >> I agree with that. And I want him to
[27:48] step up so you can, but you don't get
[27:50] revenge. You don't also bring down the
[27:53] household by being a [ __ ] menace on
[27:56] the outside. You do financially, though.
[27:59] >> Okay? So, listen. Just because someone's
[28:02] not stepping up at home doesn't mean you
[28:03] can just not step up outside the home.
[28:06] >> Okay.
[28:07] >> You can't it up.
[28:09] >> Can we take a little break?
[28:11] >> You need a break?
[28:12] >> Yeah. Can we take a little break?
[28:13] >> Okay. Well, take a break.
[28:14] >> I'm honestly very tired. I would not be
[28:16] crying right now. I'm very tired.
[28:18] >> That's okay. Your mother, you see that?
[28:22] Yeah, I see it.
[28:24] She She's not afraid to tell me when
[28:26] she's overloaded either.
[28:28] It would be nice if you listened.
[28:30] >> And it would also be nice if you didn't
[28:32] go spend money you don't have.
[28:34] >> Fair.
[28:35] >> Cuz that's going to add to the stresses
[28:36] of the household. A man not stepping up,
[28:38] not helping the house, that's going to
[28:40] be a reason for divorce at some point.
[28:41] >> Mhm.
[28:42] >> Financial [ __ ] in the house, that is a
[28:45] leading cause for divorce in this
[28:46] country. Do we want to get divorced?
[28:49] >> No.
[28:50] >> I don't read you guys as a couple that
[28:51] wants to get divorced. It's not
[28:52] something I would advocate for in you
[28:54] guys. I don't see that. But are we
[28:56] surprised that the household is rocky
[28:58] right now? No. When you both up in two
[29:01] very clear directions and neither of you
[29:03] seem like you want to make any ground in
[29:05] making those situations better. Like you
[29:07] make the good talk, but you don't seem
[29:09] like you're trying to do any better at
[29:10] the house. You don't sound like you're
[29:11] trying to do any better financially. No
[29:13] wonder he's not willing to. It feels
[29:14] like he's hiding [ __ ]
[29:16] >> I don't think he's hiding anything. He
[29:18] just isn't
[29:18] >> forthcoming. Communicate.
[29:20] >> Yeah. I'd be nervous too if you're going
[29:23] out there and around constantly
[29:25] and in the financial conversations I'm
[29:27] being had again again this is the pre-in
[29:30] a couple of the things that I said were
[29:31] kind of wrong earlier from what he said
[29:33] like the you know he was like a fine
[29:35] well you know we'll stick it out cuz you
[29:36] got pregnant well apparently that wasn't
[29:37] true cuz it was timeline issue and then
[29:39] one other thing I said was kind of
[29:41] incorrect that's cuz he told Lindsay
[29:43] that pre-in [ __ ] before you were coming
[29:45] on so it was going to be a defense
[29:47] mechanism so the story was going to be a
[29:49] little different anyway it sounds like
[29:50] that he was going to tell.
[29:52] >> Well, that's interesting.
[29:53] >> I don't know, but you guys say different
[29:55] things. So, I don't know if this was pre
[29:57] you coming on or not, but he always says
[29:59] that I'm always giving into her. I'm
[30:01] always giving into her is what he said.
[30:03] Is that true?
[30:05] >> Yeah, absolutely. What does that mean?
[30:08] >> Um, it means that I am very persuasive
[30:11] in my arguments
[30:13] for
[30:14] >> by that he said he says no and you get
[30:16] angry and then he's just like fine.
[30:18] >> I don't always get angry.
[30:21] I do not always get angry.
[30:23] >> I mean, I live with the world.
[30:24] >> Any
[30:26] any time that you have said, "I want to
[30:29] get this. I feel like we need this." And
[30:31] I say, "Well, no, we don't we don't have
[30:33] the money to spend on that or we that's
[30:35] just not something that we need right
[30:36] now." Then it is immediately anger. I
[30:41] mean, let's go back to a couple months
[30:43] ago whenever you were wanting to get a
[30:45] Dyson vacuum. We we had two working
[30:48] vacuums at the house.
[30:50] >> They And okay, they are both really
[30:53] really crappy. One of we got one of them
[30:55] from your parents
[30:57] >> and I didn't say it had to be a Dyson. I
[30:59] just said I really like this one because
[31:00] it doesn't have to plug in. We don't
[31:02] have to carry it up and down the stairs.
[31:04] And as the person who cleans the house,
[31:06] I think that I get a little bit of
[31:09] leeway in what I would like to use to
[31:12] clean our home.
[31:12] >> Women love to clean. They bowl of to
[31:16] cook steak.
[31:17] >> Dude, all women are the exact same. My
[31:19] girlfriend's asking for the exact same
[31:22] thing. Look. And you
[31:23] >> And we have cleaners. So, what the is
[31:25] happening?
[31:25] >> I would kill for a cleaner.
[31:27] >> Okay. Well, they're cheap and you guys
[31:28] make a lot of money. I'll be honest.
[31:29] Which, by the way, you specifically
[31:31] wanted the Dyson because the last time
[31:33] we tried to find a cheaper alternative
[31:34] to Dyson,
[31:36] >> we got something else and it broke very
[31:37] quickly and then we replaced it with
[31:40] something different. Had two working
[31:41] vacuums at the time that she was
[31:43] requesting this Dyson. And I said, "No,
[31:45] that's crazy expensive. We don't have
[31:47] the money to spend on that. We have two
[31:48] working vacuums." Immediately, she goes,
[31:51] "When we combined finances, you said
[31:53] that you weren't going to be
[31:54] controlling, but this is the exact
[31:57] controlling behavior that I was trying
[31:58] to
[31:58] >> asking for a vacuum."
[32:00] >> Yeah. Apparently, denying a vacuum when
[32:02] we have two working vacuums is
[32:04] controlling. when one of them weighs
[32:06] like 20 pounds and you're carrying it up
[32:08] the stairs and you're the one doing the
[32:09] most of the work and the other one is so
[32:11] small and compact that it's not meant
[32:13] for like room vacuuming. Our whole
[32:16] upstairs is three bed four bedrooms is
[32:19] the master and three other bedrooms and
[32:21] it's all carpeted.
[32:22] >> Yeah. How much the
[32:25] >> one of them was like 500.
[32:26] >> Guys, you make $200,000 a year. I don't
[32:28] think you understand.
[32:29] >> But we're we're hemorrhaging money
[32:31] already.
[32:31] >> I agree. I think now this is a household
[32:34] beneficial tool potentially. But but
[32:37] where's all the money going that would
[32:39] go to that instead?
[32:40] >> The miscellaneous
[32:41] >> [ __ ] billion monthly payments that we
[32:44] have to make.
[32:44] >> It's a billion monthly payments. It's
[32:46] eating out. But
[32:48] out if I had help.
[32:50] >> You can't do that. You can't do that and
[32:53] get that kind of [ __ ] or well get a
[32:55] vacuum like that if the money goes to
[32:56] the [ __ ]
[32:57] >> You can't $1,000 went out to you last
[32:59] month. $1,000. You make $200,000 a
[33:01] month, but $1,000 going to food eating
[33:04] out actually cuz groceries is was an
[33:06] additional th000. So 2,000 going to food
[33:09] that immediately means no, you probably
[33:11] don't get to have a $500 vacuum and
[33:14] [ __ ] Especially when unknown shopping
[33:15] things we don't 100% know. Could be
[33:17] [ __ ] could be not. Was an
[33:18] additional $1,800
[33:20] >> the previous month. 1,800 other large
[33:23] purchases. These are big picture
[33:25] purchases. Might be [ __ ] might not
[33:26] be. 2,400.
[33:30] So now we have a potential [ __ ]
[33:32] amount of Oh, and then miscellaneous
[33:34] [ __ ] An additional $75,000 by the
[33:36] way. So what are we at? We're like four
[33:39] potential four $5,000 in [ __ ]
[33:42] >> potential has made it in the middle and
[33:44] say minimum $2,000 on [ __ ]
[33:46] >> Yeah, you could get a vacuum. Why are we
[33:49] spending 2,000 on [ __ ] instead?
[33:51] >> Because it's random little things that
[33:52] we want.
[33:53] >> Well, there you go. Then you don't get
[33:55] to have the big thing. Even if it makes
[33:56] your life better, you don't get to.
[33:59] >> So, it's all her.
[34:01] >> Yes. Absolutely.
[34:02] >> So, you didn't pay someone $500 to get a
[34:04] pair of boots, which you've never
[34:06] gotten.
[34:06] >> You didn't pay someone to do that. And
[34:08] you've never gotten the money back.
[34:09] You've never ordered clothes from Adidas
[34:11] online.
[34:12] >> You've never paid for golf.
[34:13] >> $70 of clothes.
[34:15] >> Okay. But you've never paid for golf.
[34:16] You didn't go buy a new a new a new iron
[34:18] for golf and spend a little bit more and
[34:20] get other things.
[34:21] >> Yeah. Yeah, I used I used I used a $300
[34:23] gift card that your sister gave me.
[34:25] >> And you spent more than that?
[34:26] >> Yeah, by $90 for two for two clubs.
[34:30] >> It's all me though. And you didn't go
[34:31] buy these new pants?
[34:32] >> Not these pants?
[34:33] >> Oh, well, you bought
[34:34] >> I had these for over a year.
[34:36] >> But it's all me.
[34:38] >> It's all her.
[34:38] >> Yeah, I see how the conversation's going
[34:40] in this household now. So, you just kind
[34:42] of like uh blow up.
[34:44] >> Okay.
[34:45] >> Yeah.
[34:46] >> But rightfully so. You're sitting here
[34:49] telling me I'm the You're You're sitting
[34:51] here telling me I'm the problem. That
[34:52] I'm the one who spends all this money on
[34:54] clothes and all of this money on random
[34:56] [ __ ] I have
[34:58] >> what? Four four outfits in the last I
[35:00] don't know 6 months, four months.
[35:02] >> I mean, Kelly told Lindsay that she
[35:04] holds grudges against you and I feel
[35:07] like I'm seeing them now.
[35:08] >> What are these grudges? Like cuz if that
[35:11] continues consistently, that's not
[35:13] necessarily healthy at all.
[35:14] >> Continuous behavior that's never
[35:15] changed.
[35:16] >> What's the grudges though? It's grudges
[35:18] against money. It's him telling me that
[35:20] I shouldn't go do stuff and then blaming
[35:21] me for our financial mishaps when he
[35:24] also spends money on random [ __ ] $25
[35:28] every other night at the gas station on
[35:29] gas station food. You love to cook so
[35:31] much. Cook your lunch and take it to
[35:33] work.
[35:35] >> I mean, when I have the kids and I have
[35:37] to keep them quiet, it makes it
[35:39] difficult to make those meals during the
[35:41] day.
[35:41] >> What are we talking about? You can meal
[35:42] prep a couple times a week
[35:43] >> and you can open the back door, can go,
[35:46] "Oh, can we bleep?"
[35:47] >> Yeah. All All their names are bleeped,
[35:49] >> but um he can go outside and play. The
[35:51] other one can sit in a high chair and
[35:53] watch you work. He loves to watch you do
[35:55] things. And then our oldest goes
[35:56] upstairs and plays and does whatever she
[35:58] wants to do or she hangs out with me 98%
[36:01] of the time. So, I'm very confused.
[36:04] >> Yeah. But then the second one of them,
[36:06] let's say the middle child comes back
[36:08] inside and he starts making noise
[36:11] because he's a rambunctious almost
[36:12] 2-year-old. The second he makes a sound,
[36:15] it's blowing up my phone. I'm on a call.
[36:17] I'm on a call.
[36:18] >> If I'm on a call, I'm on a call. That's
[36:19] a serious thing. I have to work. If you
[36:21] want, I can quit my job and our $96,000
[36:24] additional income can go out the window.
[36:26] >> Obviously, that's not what I want.
[36:27] >> Okay.
[36:28] >> But when I'm getting those Exactly. I'm
[36:31] recognizing that your work is important
[36:33] and that you have to be on those calls.
[36:35] But when I'm getting those those
[36:37] messages the second I'm trying to do
[36:39] something.
[36:39] >> Am I on a call 7 days a week, 24 hours a
[36:42] day?
[36:42] >> I mean, obviously not.
[36:43] >> I know. I schedule my stuff for two
[36:45] specific days a week that are my calls
[36:47] are my days are filled with calls back
[36:49] toback. And 90% of those calls I'm on
[36:51] mute. You can come park one with me,
[36:54] park one with my sister, and you can
[36:57] meal prep. You can cook dinner for the
[36:59] afternoon or evening. You can put stuff
[37:00] in a crock pot. Hey, that takes so much
[37:02] off my mental load and so much off my
[37:04] plate.
[37:06] >> Okay.
[37:08] >> Wait, the sister lives with you guys.
[37:09] The sister that you said could help.
[37:11] >> Mhm.
[37:12] >> But she doesn't actually help that much.
[37:13] We're figuring out.
[37:14] >> Well, but via request or she's just not
[37:16] stepping up. Is she asked to help and
[37:18] she doesn't?
[37:19] >> Um, sometimes yes, sometimes no.
[37:21] >> Is she renting from you guys or is it
[37:22] like a temporary?
[37:23] >> So, the the agreement was that she was
[37:25] going to move in with us. uh where we
[37:27] live was going to be a better place for
[37:28] her than where she was living with their
[37:30] parents. And instead of paying rent, she
[37:33] was going to help out with the kids and
[37:35] >> help clean and help clean.
[37:37] >> So, she's supposed to be stepping up a
[37:39] little more than you for the kids.
[37:41] >> She also has a full-time job in which
[37:42] she works Tuesday through Saturday,
[37:45] >> but she's not paying rent.
[37:46] >> No,
[37:46] >> then make her pay rent.
[37:48] >> Okay. Well, right.
[37:49] >> Like she she has to pay in one way help
[37:51] with the kids or rent,
[37:52] >> right? So if if she's not helping out in
[37:54] the originally agreed upon way, it's got
[37:56] to be financially,
[37:57] >> which he never goes and asks her for
[38:00] help. So it's hard for her to just offer
[38:03] it if you're not going to. And circling
[38:06] back, I we had both asked him, "Put the
[38:09] kids with one of us if you need help or
[38:10] whatever." And then he just didn't. And
[38:12] then toddler coloring on the couch,
[38:15] >> right? And then even even though she
[38:18] offers to help sometimes, I still in
[38:21] deep in my heart, these are my children.
[38:23] They're my responsibility.
[38:25] >> Your responsibility.
[38:26] >> So I I have a little bit of trouble
[38:28] pushing the burden of my own children
[38:30] off on someone who
[38:31] >> But that's literally why she's there.
[38:33] >> I think this is kind of toxic, guys. I
[38:36] think it's it's gotten to such a toxic
[38:38] point and it's going to take a big lift
[38:40] to pull it out. just toxicity with the
[38:42] sister, toxicity with teacher. She even
[38:43] said just like she doesn't even like
[38:46] getting gifts from you because it feels
[38:47] like there's always strings attached.
[38:49] Like what the if we can't even give
[38:50] gifts at this point.
[38:52] >> Yeah. I
[38:52] >> Where is this relationship?
[38:54] >> I don't understand.
[38:55] >> Someone someone educate me on that that
[38:58] topic please.
[38:59] >> We had a fight on my birthday so we did
[39:01] not celebrate my birthday and then 2 or
[39:03] 3 days later he takes me to get a locket
[39:06] that I have been I have been wanting a
[39:08] locket for a while. It's one of the
[39:10] things I've consistently gone back to.
[39:11] I've I wanted a locket. Um so 2 or 3
[39:14] days later after I said fight, after I
[39:16] questioned, is that what we're doing for
[39:17] my birthday? We're just going to fight
[39:19] and then do nothing. Then he gets the
[39:21] locket. Um I had mentioned, I don't
[39:24] know, in a few a few times over the
[39:26] years that having nice underwear is a
[39:29] good thing, but then he buys it after
[39:31] fights or for whatever reason and
[39:33] phrases it like, well, I mean, it's for
[39:35] me too.
[39:37] It's no longer a gift if you're getting
[39:39] it for yourself and the obligation is
[39:40] for me to
[39:42] >> that's strings attached.
[39:44] I don't know. And as far as the birthday
[39:46] thing goes, we had a plan for her
[39:48] birthday. My parents offered to watch
[39:50] all of our children so that we could go
[39:51] have a nice dinner for her birthday. And
[39:53] I don't remember what caused what
[39:57] >> something for our home that would
[39:59] improve it. That way we could improve
[40:00] equity whenever we sell. And instead of
[40:03] spending $300 on a steak dinner at Basta
[40:05] that we should go get stuff to make a
[40:07] patio.
[40:08] >> Yeah, that's right.
[40:09] >> And then we had something else.
[40:12] >> Yep. So instead of instead of going to
[40:13] dinner, she made the decision and I
[40:15] verified this several times with her,
[40:17] >> which is fine. Then we were no longer
[40:19] going to do the dinner. Instead, we were
[40:22] going to allocate that money into
[40:23] supplies to build a patio. And then who
[40:27] knows what we thought about that day.
[40:28] She said, "Screw it. We're done. We're
[40:30] not We're not building this patio.
[40:33] And then
[40:35] we didn't And then we didn't do anything
[40:37] on her birthday. Okay. I don't guys,
[40:41] this is just what the Everything's so a
[40:44] villain fight. Horrible. But he did tell
[40:48] Lindsay something before you were
[40:49] supposed to come on. He said he hasn't
[40:52] had the stomach or the will to say it.
[40:54] You remember what that was?
[40:57] >> Mm- No.
[40:59] >> Oh no. Now you conveniently forget.
[41:01] >> I don't remember.
[41:03] >> Brother,
[41:04] >> I've slept since then.
[41:06] >> He has an out plan.
[41:11] >> I have an out plan.
[41:13] >> Buddy, these are your own words, man.
[41:16] Though you're not there yet,
[41:19] and he hasn't said it to her, but he
[41:21] could walk away if they don't get their
[41:23] finances in order. Not there yet.
[41:27] but is waiting for the right
[41:29] conversation that would give him the
[41:32] leeway to say it.
[41:33] >> Well, we've had tons of those
[41:34] conversations.
[41:36] >> What?
[41:37] >> We I've had tons of conversations where
[41:39] I said, "This is not where I want to be
[41:40] in 5 years. I don't want to be here
[41:42] financially or like relationship wise,
[41:44] marriage-wise. I don't want to be in a
[41:46] relationship where we're fighting
[41:48] constantly where I'm doing 90% of the
[41:49] household work and child raising after
[41:52] birthing them and feeding them. I don't
[41:54] want to do this if you're not going to
[41:56] be a partic like if you're not going to
[41:57] be an active parent.
[41:59] >> So both of you were getting
[42:01] >> we had those conversations.
[42:03] >> How freaking like
[42:04] >> I don't have an out. I don't have like a
[42:06] backup plan. I'm not trying to have
[42:08] >> How many times have you talked about
[42:09] your plan for if you leave me?
[42:11] >> If we if I leave you, I'm living alone
[42:15] and the kids will go to you for a week
[42:17] and back and forth. That is that is
[42:19] literally the plan. That's called
[42:21] divorce.
[42:22] >> Why? How frequently is this brought up,
[42:25] guys? I need the rat.
[42:26] >> She has had several conversations about,
[42:29] you know, or several conversations about
[42:34] leaving me. The idea of leaving me. It's
[42:36] not something that is in my head is the
[42:39] the topic.
[42:39] >> But you have an out.
[42:40] >> But you have an out. Yeah, you're
[42:41] talking.
[42:42] >> So, it clearly is in your head.
[42:45] >> You can't say one thing and then act
[42:46] like another and say that it's not there
[42:48] when it is.
[42:48] >> Not to Lindsay, but one of our
[42:49] pre-producers before hers is where the
[42:51] message is coming from. I mean, I I I
[42:53] hate to sound like I'm backtracking, but
[42:55] I I truly feel like that is a
[42:57] misunderstanding of the words that I
[42:59] said to her.
[43:00] >> I really do.
[43:00] >> Before she was supposed to come on.
[43:02] >> Mhm.
[43:03] >> Um
[43:05] >> how close have you gotten to leaving?
[43:07] >> Um
[43:08] >> I know one of you have left before and
[43:10] then the kid.
[43:12] >> Yeah, pretty pretty close.
[43:14] >> When?
[43:15] >> Um a few a few years ago.
[43:18] >> It just
[43:19] >> we were living with his parents. He
[43:21] refuses to say anything. Well, we had we
[43:23] had just left and we moved down here and
[43:25] then we had to find jobs. So, we stay
[43:27] with his parents and he refuses.
[43:30] God, I could not tell you why to stand
[43:32] up and say anything to his parents.
[43:34] Like, his dad will not turn on the air
[43:35] conditioner upstairs and that's where we
[43:37] were living and he will go up there and
[43:38] turn up to like 80 82 degrees in the
[43:40] middle of summer, but then leave all the
[43:42] doors open and heat rises in a two-story
[43:44] home. Um, so it would be 98 degrees up
[43:47] there and it would take like all night
[43:50] to cool down and he would just never say
[43:52] anything and never defend me or our kids
[43:55] or anything.
[43:57] >> You almost laughed.
[43:59] >> Yeah.
[44:01] >> So I didn't stand up to him at that time
[44:03] because
[44:05] his only request was to stop keeping it
[44:07] at 69°
[44:09] >> which it wasn't. It was at 7
[44:10] >> all day every single day. So when it
[44:14] wasn't so
[44:14] >> it was at 75 and it's hard not to keep
[44:16] it at a lower temperature when they
[44:18] don't even run the downstairs one and
[44:20] all that heat is rising. So even if it
[44:22] was set at a at like a set temperature
[44:25] if they would have turned on their
[44:26] downstairs one hey we just had this
[44:28] conversation about HVAC's and how if you
[44:30] turn them off it makes them work harder
[44:32] and your energy bills increase because
[44:34] you're running more power to get them
[44:35] back to a normal temperature. That's
[44:38] what continued to happen because you
[44:39] never stepped up and said anything.
[44:42] >> Be honest here, guys. Has anyone ever
[44:44] looked for apartments? Just on the DL.
[44:46] Just Just looking to look.
[44:47] >> He told me to and I did.
[44:49] >> Oh, you told her to?
[44:51] >> We had a big issue
[44:52] >> around that time. We were going
[44:54] >> What the Look, we we were going through
[44:57] a serious very serious rough spot in our
[45:00] relationship. And at that time, I wasn't
[45:03] sure if I was willing to stay in the
[45:05] relationship
[45:06] >> with the dad thing.
[45:09] >> That was it.
[45:10] >> There there were other things going on.
[45:12] Uh, one of those things is on it's on
[45:13] our list that I don't want to bring up.
[45:15] >> Okay. I don't think I know it, but
[45:17] >> but no, because of what was going on
[45:19] there, I wasn't sure if we were going to
[45:21] continue in our relationship. I
[45:23] suggested that she start looking for an
[45:25] apartment and she looked for a little
[45:27] bit and ultimately we decided that we
[45:29] were just going to stay in our
[45:30] relationship. we were going to try to
[45:31] work through it. And for that issue, we
[45:33] have
[45:34] >> Yeah, we have. We have for that. But
[45:36] that's like the only time where we have
[45:38] really considered either that's the only
[45:42] time I've really considered leaving. Um,
[45:45] and then I mean there's like the little
[45:47] petty squables where we talk about it
[45:49] and I tell him, I don't want to do this.
[45:51] if this is what our life is going to be
[45:52] like. I don't I I don't want to feel
[45:55] like a freaking brood mayor where I just
[45:57] get bread all the time and then I it's
[45:59] my responsibility to have a job and
[46:00] clean the entire house and take care of
[46:02] all of the kids. That's a lot for one
[46:03] person.
[46:03] >> What the
[46:06] >> That's literally what I feel.
[46:07] >> I don't want you I don't want you to
[46:09] feel like you are just a brood mayor and
[46:12] I'm the stud that keeps putting kids in
[46:14] you. But I mean when I when I'm on 2
[46:19] hours of sleep after being awake for 48
[46:22] hours
[46:22] >> which I agree with that part another
[46:24] week work 25 hours
[46:26] >> right but so after that 25 hours of or
[46:30] 24 hours of work there's times where
[46:32] I've worked or been awake for 48 to 50
[46:36] plus hours through those days of work
[46:39] and now I'm responsible for these
[46:42] children
[46:43] >> your children.
[46:44] >> Yes. Yes. They are they are my children.
[46:46] Absolutely. And I have to do something
[46:50] and keep them entertained and keep them
[46:53] quiet enough for her to work.
[46:55] >> Do you guys totally trust each other?
[46:57] >> I don't trust him with our kids. No,
[46:59] >> that's not
[47:01] the greatest thing to hear from our
[47:03] wife.
[47:04] >> I've told him that before that I do not
[47:06] trust his capabilities and taking care
[47:08] of our children.
[47:10] >> He can't stay awake. He I had to go wake
[47:12] him up last night to put our our middle
[47:15] child down cuz he fell asleep putting
[47:17] him to bed so that way he would get up
[47:18] and take a shower.
[47:19] >> Diet. What are you doing? You're fat.
[47:21] I'm fat, too. But like I'm not like
[47:24] responsible for people's lives and
[47:25] children. So if you can't stay awake or
[47:29] having issues,
[47:30] >> right? Well, I typically have to rely on
[47:34] caffeine to keep me awake because
[47:35] >> Right. Why not get healthier?
[47:38] >> I I've tried. It's It's a
[47:40] >> tried.
[47:41] >> I've I've tried. I've tried.
[47:43] >> I've I've been thinner in the past. I'm
[47:45] just about at the biggest I've ever been
[47:46] right now.
[47:47] >> Oh, that's not good. No [ __ ] You're
[47:48] falling asleep.
[47:49] >> Yeah.
[47:49] >> Fatty.
[47:51] >> What the Why aren't you eating less or
[47:53] just better?
[47:54] >> Better. I definitely need to be better.
[47:56] I do work out. I take I I do.
[47:58] >> He does.
[47:59] >> I take There's a few
[48:00] >> I take the boys to the gym with me.
[48:01] >> You can't outwork a bad diet, right?
[48:03] That's my issue. I'm relatively active
[48:05] sometimes.
[48:06] >> We've been playing Russ recently. Now
[48:07] I'm not. RIP. Worth it.
[48:10] >> I don't I like just eat better, dude.
[48:13] >> I know. I I
[48:14] >> Are you the donut and coffee guy?
[48:16] >> No. No. Not the donut. I really I really
[48:18] try to stay away from donuts.
[48:20] >> The coffee is okay.
[48:21] >> But I I Coffee is a Coffee is a problem.
[48:24] >> What? What? What? What's wrong with
[48:25] coffee?
[48:25] >> It's a problem for me. I'm
[48:27] >> Why?
[48:28] >> Because I I need it. I'm addicted.
[48:30] >> Well, yeah, but like caffeine is one of
[48:32] those like
[48:33] >> addictions where it's like not even like
[48:35] an addiction.
[48:36] >> It's like upside. No, it is an
[48:37] addiction. This is like upside though.
[48:39] >> Yeah. Unless you're just like, "What are
[48:40] you down?" Like,
[48:43] >> it could be. Can we
[48:44] >> What the [ __ ] are you on about?
[48:45] >> I'm just saying like if we're talking
[48:46] about addictions, at least he's addicted
[48:48] to caffeine. And I
[48:49] >> That's true.
[48:49] >> Okay. Here's Gamer Subs. Just like you
[48:51] make your coffee at home, make your
[48:52] energy drinks at home. It's delicious.
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[49:03] your gamer subs. And then, you know, 40
[49:06] cents a serving. So, there you go. that
[49:07] should help but I mean out you can't out
[49:10] eventually you have a baseline then you
[49:12] have to just continuously up caffeine so
[49:14] just like anything else right that's the
[49:16] issue there if you're always chasing it
[49:17] then you can get to a dangerous amount
[49:19] >> um which for larger people fatties is
[49:22] not necessarily best for the heart what
[49:25] are you eating man cuz if you're falling
[49:27] asleep I'm concerned I'm concerned like
[49:29] your health must not be the best
[49:31] >> so I mean I kind of just eat what's
[49:34] what's already available like when I'm
[49:36] at home. Really, when I'm at home,
[49:38] that's when I'm eating at my worst
[49:41] because we're not we're not always
[49:43] taking the time to prepare meals. We
[49:44] don't always have good stuff for making,
[49:47] you know, lunches and, you know, I I
[49:51] just kind of eat whatever I can.
[49:54] >> We do have all the stuff to cook,
[49:55] though. I spend $1,000 a month on
[49:57] grocery and I build out menus, so we do
[49:59] have stuff in there to cook. The issue
[50:01] is that what he's saying we don't have
[50:03] food is we don't have easily ready food.
[50:08] >> Meal prepping and THEN YOU HAVE TO cook
[50:09] it.
[50:10] >> Meal prep a couple times a week, guys.
[50:11] What the [ __ ] are we doing? I love meal
[50:13] prepping. It makes it so much easier.
[50:14] >> Why don't you
[50:15] >> I just I just struggle to actually make
[50:17] the time to
[50:18] >> 25 hours of the week.
[50:21] >> Huh?
[50:22] >> Yeah. 2 weeks and free stuff. We didn't
[50:25] have a 56 hour.
[50:26] >> Not going into detail, but is there ever
[50:28] a situation where you might be required
[50:30] to run?
[50:31] >> Absolutely.
[50:32] >> Okay,
[50:33] >> buddy.
[50:34] >> I'm faster than I look, brother.
[50:36] >> No, I don't think you have any idea how
[50:38] fast I really am.
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[51:29] WAB, but everyone just deletes it
[51:31] because it's way too complicated to use.
[51:33] So, you go to every dollar. That's Dave
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[51:37] Well, they're going to force you to use
[51:39] it his way. That's not very personal
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[52:14] >> You and me.
[52:15] >> You and me have the sprints, but we
[52:17] don't have the distance.
[52:19] >> There is no stamina.
[52:21] >> It's the distance.
[52:22] >> No, no, no. You know, I've got stamina.
[52:24] >> Distance buddy. Distance, buddy. Okay.
[52:26] What? You have a 30 second pump and
[52:28] dump. Good for you.
[52:29] >> Sometimes.
[52:29] >> Listen, the thing is us fatties,
[52:31] everyone's shocked how quick I can go.
[52:34] But it's not for a long distance. And
[52:37] that might be necessary,
[52:39] right? Yeah. But if you're falling
[52:42] asleep, come on. If you're falling
[52:44] asleep, come on.
[52:46] All right. What do we think our
[52:47] household financial score is all
[52:48] combined?
[52:49] >> One.
[52:51] >> Well, I think two, two and a half,
[52:53] three.
[52:54] >> Okay. If you watch your Hamburg
[52:55] financial score, figure it out. Take the
[52:57] assessment. Take that assessment for
[52:58] free at calehammer.com. Just takes a few
[53:00] minutes and you can see where you stand
[53:01] in the world of money, where you're
[53:02] doing poorly, where you're doing great,
[53:03] what you need to do to become better.
[53:05] Usually what most people need to do is
[53:06] use a budgeting app. And we've made one
[53:09] for the people on this show and for you
[53:11] and for me. It's called Dollarise. Take
[53:13] the free trial. It comes with the 30-day
[53:15] budget meal plan and the digital version
[53:17] of the cookbook for those who sign up
[53:18] for the annual version, which also saves
[53:20] like 50% on the subscription, by the
[53:22] way. But take the free trial, see if you
[53:23] like it. I'll sign that and I'll mail
[53:24] directly to you. So there you go. No
[53:26] more excuses. Use it. There's recipes.
[53:28] It's easy. It's simple. It's budget
[53:29] friendly. No more excuses, guys. Again,
[53:32] minimum minimum 2,000 on [ __ ] last
[53:35] month. Likely upwards of like 3 or
[53:37] 4,000.
[53:39] What hits our account on a monthly
[53:40] basis? I didn't get that. I know your
[53:41] guys' gross income is large, but so my
[53:45] checks come in every two weeks at
[53:49] Oh, what is it? 30 just about 3,100.
[53:53] >> Okay. And then you
[53:54] >> I get 56 a month.
[53:57] >> Yeah. hers come in at about 2855.
[54:01] >> Okay, so 11,800 now. Like you guys are
[54:05] killing it. It's so upsetting. And the
[54:07] it's always the people who are like
[54:08] killing it on the income scale that get
[54:10] even worse on the finance scale cuz you
[54:12] get access to more tools that'll destroy
[54:14] you cuz you are not credit card people.
[54:16] >> Yeah,
[54:17] >> you're not. WANT PROOF OF IT?
[54:19] Quicksilver one. Who's is this? Are we
[54:21] all on cards together? Buddy, what are
[54:22] you doing? I thought she was the
[54:24] problem.
[54:24] >> Huh? She Huh?
[54:26] >> Yeah. What are you talking about? This
[54:28] is a big problem right here.
[54:29] >> Mhm.
[54:30] >> You know what happened on this card?
[54:33] >> I I don't know. Is that the one I
[54:34] wanted? Cuz I know you have two.
[54:35] >> Yeah, that's the one that you're an
[54:36] authorized user on.
[54:37] >> Maybe you are making problems almost 2
[54:39] years.
[54:40] >> Is that true?
[54:41] >> Uh
[54:42] >> my card is locked. I haven't used it. I
[54:44] went to go get gas and I was like, "Hey,
[54:47] I don't have the debit card with me and
[54:48] I'm at a gas station that doesn't do tap
[54:50] pay. Can I use this?" And he didn't
[54:52] respond quick enough. So, I left and
[54:54] went somewhere else with Tap Pay, but
[54:55] the card is locked. But I haven't used
[54:56] it in well over a year.
[54:59] >> Card is locked.
[55:00] >> Yeah, cuz I'm not I'm on the account.
[55:02] >> You're locked.
[55:03] >> My card is locked.
[55:04] >> My card. You're locked.
[55:05] >> Well, I'm I'm on the account. I don't
[55:07] have access to it. I can't even see like
[55:09] the balances on it.
[55:10] >> What? Why? I I just made her an
[55:12] authorized user and the I mean the app
[55:15] has always been on my
[55:16] >> access to the account.
[55:19] >> I don't know. You've got you've got a
[55:21] Capital One card of your own, too. So,
[55:23] take that up with them.
[55:24] >> But you can't see it.
[55:26] Okay, how can we say she's the problem
[55:28] when you had a balance? He had a balance
[55:29] of $927. Okay, that's large. It acrews
[55:31] interest, whatever. With your income,
[55:33] you can kind of pay it off. But he made
[55:34] the minimum payment of $35 only.
[55:36] >> Mhm.
[55:36] >> Nothing else. No progress. Avalanche.
[55:39] Avalanche. And then he spent $2,000.
[55:43] >> Mhm.
[55:43] >> Why the did you put $35 to it if you're
[55:46] going to spend $2,000
[55:48] acrewing interest? $57.66.
[55:51] New balance $2,9001.
[55:54] minimum monthly payment $87.
[55:58] Uh your kid, oldest kid will be not only
[56:01] out of high school but will also be out
[56:02] of college and also a couple years into
[56:06] his career
[56:08] because this takes 17 years to pay off
[56:10] minimum payments only with no additional
[56:12] purchases which you're incapable of. So
[56:14] what the is the problem? That doesn't
[56:16] look like problem to me or her. That
[56:18] looks like you. What are you talking
[56:20] about? HUH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
[56:24] Rack attack.
[56:25] >> Yeah, we bought a uh car rooftop cargo
[56:30] system to go a credit card. You could
[56:34] afford it, but why not put it on? You
[56:36] can't pay off this credit card. You're
[56:37] not paying off this credit card. You
[56:38] only put the minimum towards it. Why not
[56:40] put it on the debit card? Duh.
[56:42] >> Because we didn't have $1,800.
[56:44] >> Did you get the rooftop thing?
[56:47] >> We needed it.
[56:48] >> Why did you need it? We were going to
[56:50] die.
[56:51] >> Well, obviously we weren't going to die.
[56:52] >> Well, then why'd you need it?
[56:54] >> So, we were taking a road trip to see
[56:55] her parents.
[56:56] >> Okay. Didn't need it then.
[56:57] >> We've got her We've got her SUV that is
[57:00] loaded down with children plus the
[57:03] kennel and a dog in the back.
[57:06] >> Didn't need.
[57:06] >> And then we didn't have any room for our
[57:08] stuff. You didn't need to go on the road
[57:10] trip to survive.
[57:13] What the are we doing?
[57:15] >> I think it's important to see family.
[57:16] >> I think it is as well. It sounds like
[57:17] they can afford to come down. My my I
[57:20] won't let them stay with me.
[57:21] >> What?
[57:22] >> They they smoke and I don't like them
[57:24] smoking around my children and they
[57:27] >> a couple days at a hotel's cheaper than
[57:28] this cuz you spent almost $2,000
[57:30] >> and they refuse to stay in a hotel. They
[57:32] refuse to get an Airbnb.
[57:34] >> They they only will stay at my house. Um
[57:37] >> and you won't allow that?
[57:38] >> I won't allow that.
[57:39] >> What the is wrong with these people?
[57:40] What is wrong with you people? What the
[57:41] is happening?
[57:42] >> Well, I've made very clear rules. Don't
[57:43] smoke around my kids. I don't care.
[57:45] >> Yeah, that's fair. Why can't they stay
[57:46] at a hotel or Airbnb to But why can't
[57:47] they just not smoke?
[57:49] >> Okay. Well, they're addicted to it. I
[57:50] would also agree, but
[57:51] >> nicotine patches exist.
[57:52] >> Okay. Insens and all that good stuff.
[57:54] Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree. But
[57:56] also, why can't they stay at an area?
[57:58] >> Because my mother is worse with her
[57:59] finances than I am.
[58:02] >> What do you think?
[58:02] >> I agree. It's important to go. You
[58:04] didn't necessarily have to. And even if
[58:06] still, there may have been cheaper
[58:07] solutions.
[58:08] >> 2,000 bucks there. 2,000.
[58:11] >> Something that we're going to continue
[58:12] using.
[58:12] >> Sure. And you know what else you'll
[58:14] continue doing? Paying interest on it.
[58:15] cuz you don't do more than a minimum
[58:17] payment. Then you went inside some store
[58:19] and I think got some like energy drinks
[58:20] or coffee or something.
[58:21] >> Yeah, probably.
[58:21] >> And then Amazon. You did some Amazon.
[58:24] Okay, let me look at this. Amazon.
[58:25] >> Amazon, sir.
[58:26] >> Let me see.
[58:26] >> I haven't spent on Amazon.
[58:28] >> So, you do spend on this card. This is
[58:29] on Amazon. You're not fully locked out.
[58:30] It says it's attached to the Amazon
[58:32] account probably.
[58:34] >> So, let us see here. Ah, iPhone. Okay.
[58:37] What the is wrong with you? What the is
[58:39] wrong with you?
[58:40] >> What do you mean? What? Why do
[58:41] >> you have 15% battery on your phone?
[58:43] We listened to stuff on on my
[58:46] >> plug it into the car. Let it charge.
[58:49] >> I'm sorry.
[58:50] >> What are you doing? 15% at before noon.
[58:53] >> I don't know, man.
[58:54] >> I didn't charge it last night.
[58:55] >> What the is wrong with you?
[58:58] >> I was tired. I was packing up diaper
[59:00] bags and gathering everything.
[59:01] >> How much of a disaster someone is to me
[59:03] if I see them low battery before noon?
[59:05] Their life's a failure.
[59:08] >> Okay.
[59:08] >> Oh, come on. You got to charge your
[59:10] phone. You know how easy easy it is to
[59:12] plug it in somewhere?
[59:15] >> Oh, I did it all on the way up here.
[59:18] >> Plugged my phone.
[59:18] >> Oh, at least you have a way to get back,
[59:20] I guess. So, home master hardware. Okay.
[59:22] It's like some hinges.
[59:24] >> Yeah, those are hinges and a door handle
[59:25] for a screen door for our backpack.
[59:28] >> Some patches. Lots of kids things. A
[59:30] remote.
[59:31] >> Um, those are It's an ice pack.
[59:35] >> A fake plant. We didn't need that to
[59:36] survive. A clock. We didn't need to
[59:38] survive.
[59:38] >> That's for my office. We didn't pay for
[59:40] that.
[59:40] That's for my That's for my office at
[59:42] work.
[59:42] >> Office chair. Well, that's good. Yeah.
[59:44] So, um those work rellated purchases get
[59:47] ref or reimbured
[59:50] rug, pillow, all that stuff.
[59:51] >> Yeah. All of that.
[59:52] >> Okay. And the two chairs,
[59:53] >> all of that until you hit the desk.
[59:55] >> Okay. So, the desk was you.
[59:57] >> Well, no. Like that is
[59:58] >> so after that. Yeah. So, the key lock
[60:00] box.
[60:01] >> Oh, that's also work.
[60:02] >> Okay. Well, what the [ __ ] you talking
[60:03] about then? The trash bin
[60:05] >> that we we bought a trash can
[60:08] >> for our home. That's not the worst. I'm
[60:10] just surprised you didn't have one. We
[60:11] did.
[60:12] >> Well, we did, but Well, then what are we
[60:13] doing? These are the small things we
[60:15] don't need to do when we're trying to
[60:16] pay off that. If you already had trash,
[60:18] then there we go. We're okay,
[60:19] >> right? But it
[60:20] >> right. Cookie cutters. Did you need the
[60:23] rectangle cookie cutters? You can do
[60:24] this.
[60:25] >> I did not need those. You're
[60:26] >> So, these are the little things. Okay.
[60:28] What the are we doing as a society where
[60:31] we're getting a preschool graduation
[60:34] >> because they weren't doing graduation
[60:36] for her
[60:36] >> because it's preschool
[60:38] >> kindergarten and I might be a but I have
[60:42] graduation photos of myself
[60:45] passage
[60:45] >> you want to be like smokers
[60:47] >> no
[60:49] >> but it's a right of passage
[60:51] >> you don't not graduate kindergarten
[60:53] >> I mean
[60:54] >> she had how how much was the the cap and
[60:57] gown
[60:57] >> I have $1.
[60:59] >> It was $18. I have one memory from
[61:02] preschool. Other than that, no one else
[61:04] has actually no kindergarten. One
[61:06] memory. Don't arrest me for this. It was
[61:07] illegal. I broke the law. I gas lit
[61:11] another kid in a line at the gymnasium
[61:13] to pull the fire alarm. He never showed
[61:15] up to school again.
[61:16] >> You're not the one that pulled the the
[61:18] fire alarm, so I think you're good.
[61:19] >> But I definitely did some manipulating
[61:21] to do it.
[61:22] >> But it's memory.
[61:22] >> That's the only memory I have. This
[61:24] person will not have any other memory
[61:25] other than when he illegally did
[61:27] something. You do you start holding
[61:30] memories from four years old school. Are
[61:33] they are they p from kindergarten? Are
[61:35] they pictured memories? Cuz remember a
[61:37] lot of times vivid memories from
[61:38] kindergarten.
[61:39] >> She has a memory like me. She remembers
[61:41] everything. I kid you not. And he can
[61:43] attest to that.
[61:43] >> Yeah. Plus the she was so happy to put
[61:45] that cap and gown.
[61:46] >> I'm getting a lot of pictures in the
[61:48] room.
[61:49] >> I'm so happy to take those pictures. I
[61:51] feel like $18 is money well spent.
[61:52] Remember, a lot of the vivid memories
[61:54] that we have when we're young children
[61:55] psychologically are usually like
[61:57] pictures that we construct into memories
[61:59] that don't actually fully exist.
[62:00] >> But it's memories for me.
[62:03] >> Oh,
[62:03] >> she's my first baby.
[62:04] >> Well, if it's for you, then you're being
[62:05] a selfish [ __ ] cuz you don't have the
[62:07] money
[62:09] >> cuz you got the pants as well. You got
[62:11] some low pow Christian shirts for women.
[62:14] >> It's just a t-shirt and pants, which to
[62:17] survive.
[62:18] >> Okay.
[62:18] >> Like we're trying to cut back right now.
[62:20] Dog whistle. That was for training
[62:22] because he said that our dog is not
[62:23] training.
[62:23] >> I'm okay with that one as a minimum.
[62:26] Meditation candles. Don't need it to
[62:28] survive. A
[62:29] >> meditation candle.
[62:30] >> It's the little candles for Bible study.
[62:33] Sorry.
[62:34] >> Well, [ __ ] off. She can study without
[62:37] candles.
[62:39] >> Right.
[62:41] >> I've never had I remember studying
[62:42] without candles.
[62:44] >> She can.
[62:45] >> Slow feeder dog bowl. That might make
[62:46] sense. Cookbook. Christian cookbook for
[62:48] beginners. You're paying the premium for
[62:50] what? What? What is the where what's the
[62:52] atheist cookbook?
[62:54] >> It's just a small cookbook and it
[62:55] >> that you paid a premium cuz it's
[62:57] Christian.
[62:58] >> Oh, maybe
[62:59] >> they marketed it to you and you paid a
[63:00] premium for it.
[63:01] >> Okay. We talked about it at my Bible
[63:02] study group and we all were going to do
[63:04] stuff and that's why
[63:05] >> they know you're poor as even though you
[63:07] make a lot of money.
[63:08] >> We don't talk about our finances there.
[63:10] >> Well, that seems like actually something
[63:11] kind of important to bring up in that
[63:14] community setting, but that's okay.
[63:16] Inflect killer spray. That's fine. I
[63:17] don't think we're getting a What is an
[63:19] atheist cookbook? Muslim cookbook. I get
[63:21] it. All of a sudden, you don't get pork
[63:22] and it gets scary. I understand.
[63:25] >> Atheist cookbook. I don't know. Would it
[63:27] be baby hearts?
[63:28] >> Is that what atheist eat?
[63:29] >> Maybe. I don't know.
[63:30] >> I don't think you needed a Christian
[63:32] cookbook. You paid the premium for it.
[63:34] Large arched felt bulletin board. They
[63:38] didn't need it to survive. Like, off
[63:40] guys. [ __ ] spending. What are we
[63:43] doing? And I'm sorry I triggered you
[63:45] with the Muslim cookbook because you
[63:46] were ranting beforehand how you're
[63:48] scared that you bought a house in an
[63:49] area that's being overrun by Muslims.
[63:51] And yes,
[63:51] >> I'm not scared. Dallas worth is, you
[63:54] know,
[63:54] >> I'm not scared. You know, Frisco.
[63:56] >> Yeah, we're like borderline
[63:59] is actually really nice, though. Frisco
[64:00] is a beautiful city.
[64:01] >> And it's not that they're It's not that
[64:02] it's bad. They're they're nice. It's
[64:04] just that they literally are overtaking
[64:07] everything. And those I mean, okay,
[64:10] they're overtaking everything and they
[64:12] don't have to pay the premium to ask
[64:14] for, I don't know, to paint their doors
[64:15] and change stuff in their front lawn
[64:17] that we do.
[64:18] >> What do you mean?
[64:19] >> Our HOA requires you pay a fee.
[64:21] >> That's your HOA.
[64:22] >> Yes, but they're all ran by um a whole
[64:25] family and that whole family lives in
[64:28] this HOA and they don't require anyone
[64:30] else to pay it. But then if I put
[64:34] something in, I tried and I had to pay
[64:36] that. But I I talked to a lady at school
[64:38] and she didn't have to pay it to get her
[64:40] flower beds. I wasn't trying to build
[64:41] out flower beds, but she built out like
[64:43] a rock board around her flower bed and
[64:45] she didn't have to pay for it.
[64:46] >> She didn't have to pay the the HOA
[64:48] approval fee, no application fee.
[64:51] >> No.
[64:52] >> It's the first thing he ranting to them
[64:54] that the schools celebrate the public
[64:57] schools celebrate Muslim holidays
[64:58] instead of Christian holidays. Correct.
[65:00] And I don't like it.
[65:01] >> It's interesting. My daughter came home
[65:03] and was talking about Ramadan and how we
[65:05] can celebrate it at home and I said we
[65:07] don't celebrate that. But that's
[65:08] wonderful that you learned it.
[65:10] >> Okay.
[65:11] >> I learned about Ramadan in school.
[65:13] >> No, they don't. They did like they did a
[65:16] holiday party and that was it.
[65:18] >> Well, I would prefer no religion in
[65:20] public schools.
[65:21] >> Separation of church and state. I just
[65:22] think if you're going to allow one, then
[65:24] you should allow all.
[65:24] >> I mean, it's okay to say like this is a
[65:26] holiday that's happening today. Maybe
[65:28] get some snacks and treats. No, they
[65:29] devote like a whole lesson plan to like
[65:32] Chinese Lunar New Year, Ramadan, all of
[65:34] that.
[65:36] >> But not Easter.
[65:37] >> But not Easter. Not like any any other
[65:40] like Jewish holiday or Christmas.
[65:42] Selective.
[65:43] >> It It is because of who's on the school
[65:45] board for this school.
[65:48] >> Yeah, it's a bit selective.
[65:50] >> Uh do all or do none. I don't know.
[65:52] >> Yeah.
[65:52] >> Patland.
[65:55] >> Yep.
[65:56] >> Okay. Uh, you immediately just spent
[65:58] 2,600. I don't know what's going on.
[66:01] >> Uh,
[66:01] >> what's happened here?
[66:02] >> That That's the dog. We financed our
[66:04] dog.
[66:05] >> You just got the dog.
[66:07] >> Yep.
[66:08] >> Are you afraid of them eating it?
[66:10] >> No,
[66:12] >> of course not.
[66:12] >> That's a racist joke for you.
[66:15] Uh $2,570.
[66:19] The What is a pet land? This one of
[66:21] those like
[66:22] >> pet stores
[66:23] >> females.
[66:24] >> Oh, those are those places are bad,
[66:25] dude. I have heard after the fact that
[66:27] apparently people have some pretty low
[66:28] opinions on them. I didn't know about
[66:30] any of that. So, sorry to the people who
[66:33] protest pet land.
[66:34] >> Well, they're just kind of like puppy
[66:35] mills. Not saying like adopt not shop,
[66:37] sure, but if like every adopt is like a
[66:39] pitbull, like I get it. You don't
[66:40] necessarily need to do that cuz they'll
[66:41] kill your kids. But besides that, like
[66:44] puppy mills aren't always the best.
[66:46] >> Was a a like accredited breeder and they
[66:49] gave background on horse. Why do you
[66:52] think they're going to say, "Hey, we're
[66:53] an unethical business. Please come to us
[66:55] and spend your money.
[66:57] >> Okay. Well, either way, you open a
[66:58] credit card with them.
[67:00] >> Yeah, it's uh deferred deferred interest
[67:02] financing on the dog.
[67:03] >> How many dogs you got?
[67:05] >> One.
[67:05] >> Just the one.
[67:06] >> What'd you get?
[67:07] >> An Australian Shepherd.
[67:08] >> I'm sure it's a beautiful dog.
[67:10] >> It's fine, but it's supporting a
[67:12] business that isn't necessarily the
[67:13] best.
[67:15] >> 24 month. Oh, deferred.
[67:17] >> Deferred. Yeah,
[67:18] >> guys.
[67:19] >> I know. We're only making the minimum
[67:20] right now.
[67:21] >> Oh, yeah. 30 bucks. Okay. So, 2570. I'm
[67:24] guessing you have like uh 23 months
[67:26] left. 257 uh 23. So, you actually have
[67:30] to make $112 payments a month or else
[67:34] this is going to acrue at a 36%.
[67:37] No, no, no. It is accuring at a 36%
[67:39] interest. And then that interest will
[67:40] hit if you don't pay it off and what? 23
[67:43] months from now.
[67:44] >> Yep. So, $112 a month now going forward.
[67:48] Are you hundreds of dollars will hit?
[67:51] Oh, you don't even like the dog.
[67:53] >> I really want
[67:54] >> You're not like a dog.
[67:55] >> I really want to. What creature are you?
[67:58] >> He's I I love dogs. I grew up with dogs.
[68:00] >> What?
[68:01] >> I want to love him, but right now it is
[68:03] so hard.
[68:05] >> He lacks training, but he also won't
[68:07] train him.
[68:08] >> Well, yeah, puppies don't come with
[68:09] training.
[68:10] >> Well, of course not. But when part of
[68:11] the agreement of us getting this dog was
[68:14] saying, I will I will do all the
[68:16] training. You will do all the training.
[68:17] Well, why aren't you training them?
[68:18] >> And I do when I have time. Oh, hey
[68:21] buddy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If
[68:22] you said, "Well, let's get a dog. I'll
[68:24] do the training.
[68:24] >> Lay down. Come and like stay." He knows
[68:26] all of this.
[68:27] >> The training that hasn't happened. How
[68:28] many months old?
[68:29] >> He's seven.
[68:31] >> Seven months. He's one month older than
[68:32] I am.
[68:32] >> So, you're out of the puppy training.
[68:34] You're out of the potty training.
[68:36] >> Yeah. So, training is good. What? And he
[68:38] listens to command. What are you
[68:39] complaining about then?
[68:40] >> He just hyperactive. Sometimes you sit
[68:44] and lay down. But the problem is when
[68:46] he's running around the backyard, he
[68:48] will fur missile into our middle child
[68:51] and hit him square in the torso. He nip
[68:54] nips all three of them. I mean, he bit
[68:56] the toddler on the face the other day
[68:58] >> in a play way or aggressive way.
[69:00] >> He thinks he's playing.
[69:01] >> He thinks he's playing. Yeah. I mean,
[69:02] yes, more training is going to Yeah, you
[69:04] might need more professional training on
[69:05] that, honestly, with kids for what it's
[69:07] worth. Yeah. I mean, seven monthy old
[69:09] Australian Shepherd, yes, it's going to
[69:10] be a bit more wild and you just need
[69:12] more professional training.
[69:13] >> That's new to me. I've never had such an
[69:14] active dog before. I grew up with lap
[69:16] dogs. I've I've never been around a dog
[69:18] like this.
[69:19] >> Yeah, Australians, they're crazy. Yep.
[69:21] No, it's true. Um, okay. Well, someone
[69:24] needs to take some responsibility here
[69:26] and do something and probably do real
[69:28] training.
[69:29] >> Real training.
[69:31] >> Yeah. Maybe paid for, unfortunately.
[69:33] >> Robin Hood credit card.
[69:35] >> Mhm. I love my Robin Hood credit card,
[69:37] but uh you guys have done the opposite
[69:40] of me.
[69:41] >> Yeah,
[69:41] >> I don't have access to that.
[69:43] >> I'm okay with you guys like at some
[69:44] point doing some kind of like shortcut
[69:46] like um like I know you're trying to do
[69:48] the avalanche. Not really. But if you do
[69:50] any kind of consolidation or personal
[69:52] loan, I just want to keep this in the
[69:53] back of your head. Bankruptcy, but not
[69:55] until you change your behavior because
[69:56] we're not changing our behavior. Again,
[69:57] there's spending on here. We're if we're
[69:59] we're not changing our behavior. You're
[70:01] still spending on credit cards that you
[70:02] are not even or you're just making the
[70:04] minimum payments. you're not pay paying
[70:05] off. You done consolidations before?
[70:08] >> Yes.
[70:08] >> Okay. See, and that just shows cuz then
[70:10] you rack it back up. It doesn't work
[70:12] until you change your behavior. Okay.
[70:14] >> Mhm.
[70:15] >> When you're ready. And for people out
[70:17] there that have changed their behavior,
[70:18] we do have a good personal loan service
[70:20] at caleb.com that we just connect you
[70:22] with good personal loans, the best
[70:24] personal loans for you. Check that out.
[70:25] And actually credit cards as well. Those
[70:27] are for people that are credit card
[70:28] people like me because I do really well
[70:30] with the Robin Hood app. So, I use our
[70:32] credit card finder service. You guys
[70:35] can't the personal loan. Maybe someday
[70:37] for consolidation. It's good for them,
[70:40] but not for you. Change your behavior
[70:42] first because again on here you spent
[70:44] $712 even though it's maxed out. WHY?
[70:48] Who's Robin Hood card?
[70:49] >> It's mine.
[70:50] >> Of course. I thought she was the
[70:52] problem. $4,685.73.
[70:57] $168
[70:58] is the minimum. 20 years to pay off
[71:01] minimum with no purchases. 20.
[71:05] Yeah. YouTube TV, which is fine. Again,
[71:08] it's fine, especially at your income
[71:09] level. I'll give you a large
[71:11] subscription fund. It's okay. Okay. It
[71:13] comes with all the NFL [ __ ] Yeah.
[71:15] YouTube TV is good.
[71:16] >> That's the only reason I got it.
[71:18] >> You're putting on a credit card that you
[71:19] can't pay off though, so it doesn't make
[71:21] sense for you. Storage King, you guys
[71:23] have a big storage unit.
[71:24] >> Yes, we do.
[71:25] >> Lifetime. You can't afford lifetime.
[71:28] >> It is. Listen, Lifetime's great. I also
[71:30] have that. You don't need it.
[71:32] >> I I need it.
[71:33] >> Not Lifetime, though.
[71:34] >> I need Lifetime.
[71:35] >> Why?
[71:36] >> So, Lifetime has the only Lifetime is
[71:39] the only gym in our area that has um
[71:41] >> childare
[71:42] >> child care for more than just the
[71:44] morning. And I can't always go in the
[71:45] morning.
[71:46] >> [ __ ]
[71:48] Okay. Well, don't put it on a credit
[71:50] card. You're paying 550 a month.
[71:52] >> Yeah, it's even more.
[71:54] >> Good death.
[71:56] Good death, man. But look, the dude
[71:59] lifetime
[72:00] I will not give it up. It's not It's not
[72:03] >> You have to budget it in.
[72:04] >> I do budget it in the the
[72:06] >> You're spending more money than you do.
[72:08] >> Yeah. The balance that's on there that's
[72:09] from before we even got the lifetime
[72:11] membership. But
[72:13] >> so it was already at a high balance.
[72:15] >> So you're making it worse. You're just
[72:16] getting you're maintaining it.
[72:17] >> Yeah. But I'm I'm yourself.
[72:19] >> I'm paying more than the lifetime plus
[72:22] minimum payment every month.
[72:24] >> Barely. It's moved down like a couple
[72:25] bucks even though you're still spending
[72:27] money. That money, that $700 that you
[72:28] spent could have been $700 that went
[72:30] towards the card and brought it down to
[72:32] uh below $4,000. So, go [ __ ] yourself.
[72:35] What are you talking about?
[72:36] >> I don't care what you say. I'm not
[72:37] giving up that membership. I
[72:38] >> I'm not necessarily saying you have to,
[72:40] but it's going on a credit card.
[72:41] >> You just said I can't afford it.
[72:43] >> Not in this context. Not on a credit
[72:44] card that is accuring interest. If we
[72:46] can put it on a debit card, maybe we can
[72:47] figure it out. But you got to cut things
[72:48] somewhere. I give everyone a gym
[72:50] membership on the show. lifetime. A bit
[72:52] excessive potentially for your
[72:53] situation, but we'll figure it out in
[72:55] the end.
[72:55] >> All right. Well,
[72:56] >> who's the American Express Gold card?
[72:58] >> That'd be mine.
[73:00] >> Oh, buddy.
[73:00] >> So, that's that's a card that I got
[73:02] specifically uh for both of us to use,
[73:05] even though it's only one card that's in
[73:07] my name.
[73:08] >> Okay. Well, this one it looks like you
[73:09] actually pay off.
[73:10] >> Yes. Yeah. That one has been used for
[73:12] only groceries and eating out.
[73:16] >> OKAY. EATING OUT IS [ __ ] BUDDY. I I
[73:19] AGREE, but it's something that we're
[73:21] struggling to escape.
[73:22] >> So, oh, are you guys adults or not? Shut
[73:24] the up. What do you mean you have kids?
[73:26] Shut up.
[73:26] >> Yeah. So, it goes on that and it's been
[73:28] getting paid off every month.
[73:30] >> Yeah. Yeah. And I can give you the high
[73:31] five for paying it off every month. But
[73:32] guess what? The money you're having to
[73:33] use to pay it off every month that is
[73:34] going towards paying off your eating out
[73:36] could be money that is going towards the
[73:37] three credit cards that that came before
[73:39] this that are not being paid off. So, if
[73:42] you spend you know what what did you
[73:43] spend on this? You spent like 2,000 on
[73:44] this card, right? Across the multiple
[73:46] things and you paid it off. Great. Say
[73:47] a,000 of it is eating out. That means
[73:48] that's a,000 of it that you could put
[73:50] towards the Robin Hood card and bring it
[73:51] to below 3,000
[73:53] combined with the spending you did on
[73:55] the Robin Hood card. So, it doesn't
[73:56] matter. Like, yes, this is paid off.
[73:58] Congratulations. First card of the four
[74:00] cards we looked at that has paid off,
[74:02] but it is still money being spent that
[74:03] could go towards things to improve your
[74:05] life and actually avalanche like you
[74:07] like to. You're not avalanche. You've
[74:08] never heard of avalanche in your life.
[74:10] >> I mean, obviously, I've heard of it. I
[74:12] wouldn't have brought it up if I had.
[74:13] >> You don't know what it is, though. If
[74:14] you're not doing it, you're uber eating.
[74:16] Uber eating
[74:18] >> that that would be
[74:19] >> calories [ __ ] Domino's.
[74:21] >> I disagree with Uber eating.
[74:23] >> What? Okay. He does.
[74:24] >> Well, you should. Yeah, it's it's a
[74:26] premium. It's like an extra I looked at
[74:28] the statistics yesterday. It's like an
[74:29] extra 90% sir charge. Yeah, I believe it
[74:32] >> 100%. And I I don't disagree, but
[74:36] working 8 hours a day, having kids and
[74:38] school, and then he is going to go to
[74:40] work at 5. He wakes up at 4:30. He takes
[74:43] like an afternoon nap
[74:44] >> and the sister needs to step in in some
[74:45] kind of way in some kind of way. You
[74:46] need to step up in some kind of way. And
[74:48] also meal prep. If we're cooking a few
[74:49] times a week, you can warm things up.
[74:50] It's easy.
[74:52] >> True. So,
[74:52] >> and I do I do I do sometimes like I'll
[74:54] make a big I'll make a big meal and
[74:57] we'll save it and we'll have it like for
[74:59] leftovers or whatever. But when you're
[75:02] like the primary cooker
[75:04] in your house.
[75:06] >> If you or your child spent years growing
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[75:10] serious mental health struggles, you
[75:12] should hear this. Recently, a jury
[75:14] ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions
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[75:28] prioritizing profits. The recent
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[75:45] Stop bleeding out money making minimum
[75:47] payments across multiple highinterest
[75:49] accounts. Most Americans are spending
[75:51] hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars
[75:53] that could be going toward actually
[75:55] paying down debt instead of lining some
[75:58] bank's pockets. And look, if you're
[76:00] sitting on highinterest credit card
[76:01] debt, a car loan at 18% or oh my
[76:04] goodness, a payday loan charging you
[76:07] tripledigit interest rates, you need to
[76:10] hear this. If you've already cut up the
[76:12] cards and built better financial habits,
[76:14] but you're still drowning in interest
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[76:32] But here's the deal. This isn't a magic
[76:35] bullet. If you refinance your debt but
[76:37] keep swiping, you're just making the
[76:39] problem worse. You still need to fix the
[76:41] behavior that screwed you in the first
[76:43] place. But if you're serious about
[76:44] getting out of debt faster, you could
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[76:53] description below to see your
[76:54] personalized offers or go to caleb.com.
[76:56] And remember, you still got to do the
[76:58] work. Listen, I don't know if she I'll
[77:00] get your sister a course careers cuz you
[77:01] guys are doing great on your income.
[77:03] Sounds like she needs to figure her [ __ ]
[77:04] out. I'll get her course career
[77:05] certification and I'll get her on Helium
[77:07] as well for a cheaper phone plan. But I
[77:10] don't know, like she needs to step up
[77:12] and help. Domino's, Waterburger,
[77:14] Starbucks. [ __ ]
[77:17] Exquisite Cafe. Morning Donut. Cheeky
[77:21] Monkeys. Cheeky Monkeys. So much
[77:23] [ __ ] Chick-fil-A.
[77:25] The cheeky monkey was a birthday. Black
[77:27] Rock coffee Uber Eat 65 bucks in that
[77:30] one.
[77:31] >> It's [ __ ]
[77:33] >> SO, YES, PAID OFF, but could instead go
[77:36] towards actually helping to pay off one
[77:37] of your bad debts.
[77:40] Oh, one main financial. What is this?
[77:42] >> Yep. So, this is a consolidation loan
[77:44] that I took out a few years ago. Uh
[77:47] because we were and this is before most
[77:49] of these credit cards that we've gone
[77:50] over even existed, but we we had gotten
[77:54] stuff or all of our cards maxed out. I
[77:56] didn't
[77:57] >> all of his cards maxed out and this is
[77:58] before we were started looking for a
[78:00] home and it's the reason why we couldn't
[78:01] buy a home sooner than we did.
[78:03] >> So you guys are renting right now?
[78:04] >> No, we bought a home but so this was
[78:07] like 2 years ago but we lived in an
[78:09] apartment for a year and then my job
[78:11] gives really
[78:12] >> Did he take it out behind your back?
[78:14] Yeah, he took it out and didn't tell me
[78:15] about it.
[78:16] >> And I had been planning and we'd been
[78:18] talking about buying a home and my
[78:19] >> [ __ ] she can't trust you.
[78:20] >> My job gives really great bonuses that
[78:22] we could have used toward a down payment
[78:24] to lower our rent and then he did this
[78:27] which up our debt to income and we
[78:30] couldn't buy a house.
[78:31] >> Yeah. Yeah, I was wait for another I um
[78:35] >> I was trying to control take take
[78:38] control of all the finances without, you
[78:40] know, having the mature conversation of
[78:42] explaining that we're in a bad spot and
[78:45] I just did that. I thought I could
[78:46] >> What's the point of the personal loan
[78:47] anyway? The interest rate is practically
[78:49] a credit card at 24.21%
[78:51] interest right?
[78:53] >> It was still better than the rates that
[78:54] I had
[78:55] >> and at least I don't know. Okay. Uh you
[78:58] can usually declare some kind of
[78:59] hardship with many credit cards and
[79:01] they'll get you on like a 1% interest
[79:03] loan,
[79:03] >> but then you have to close out the
[79:04] credit card. Yes.
[79:08] >> What's the point of the personal? What
[79:09] was the consolidation without closing?
[79:11] You're just going to end up in the same
[79:12] situation which you did. So if
[79:16] >> Okay. So $47787.
[79:20] >> Mhm. a month and you owe $10,1181
[79:24] with an insane interest rate.
[79:27] >> Yeah.
[79:28] >> Okay. And I'm also being told there was
[79:30] another loan that he didn't send in.
[79:31] What the what?
[79:33] >> So, we have an upstart loan that I
[79:35] originally took out to pay for our
[79:36] daughter's dental care because he failed
[79:39] to put her on his dental plan and she
[79:42] never had dental care and then she had
[79:44] cavities and that was $10,000. So, I had
[79:46] to take out a loan to assist in the
[79:48] payment of that because he failed to put
[79:50] her on insurance.
[79:51] >> Why aren't you putting your kids on your
[79:52] insurance dude?
[79:53] >> He was lazy and procrastinated.
[79:54] >> I have since then it was
[79:56] >> Well, since then after the consequences.
[79:59] >> Yeah. No, I I recognized where I where I
[80:01] messed up in that situation,
[80:03] >> but you know, obviously her dental
[80:07] health is important and she need there
[80:09] was work that she needed to get done. I
[80:11] felt like if we waited the two months
[80:14] for her to actually be on the insurance
[80:16] plan and then schedule everything, it
[80:19] would have been okay. But instead, we
[80:21] just
[80:23] >> pushed through and took care of it.
[80:24] >> That he didn't have her on insurance. I
[80:26] got independent insurance for her. But
[80:27] they told us to wait 60 days before any
[80:30] actual care could be done aside from
[80:32] like cleanings.
[80:34] >> He wanted to get it done ASAP.
[80:36] >> It wasn't a
[80:38] root canal emergency.
[80:40] She she had she had several cavities and
[80:42] needed crowns.
[80:43] >> Yeah.
[80:44] >> Although which age one?
[80:46] >> The oldest. So she was she was five at
[80:48] the time.
[80:48] >> That's like her baby teeth, right?
[80:50] >> Yes. But then if you don't take care of
[80:52] them, it Well, okay. If you don't take
[80:54] care of those teeth and it burrows down
[80:55] into the teeth that come up and it like
[80:57] you up for the rest of your life.
[80:58] >> Okay. So,
[80:59] >> and the dentist said you couldn't wake
[81:01] >> those. I was at work so he took her.
[81:04] >> Oh, you just went. You just did.
[81:06] >> Yeah. I I took her and
[81:08] >> I I felt pressured to get it done right
[81:10] then and there from Cali instead of
[81:12] waiting
[81:13] >> two months for her to actually have
[81:15] insurance coverage that's necessary for
[81:17] her to not get those anymore.
[81:19] >> Yes. Earlier to get such intense dental
[81:22] work right?
[81:22] >> Yes. But I was also the only one who was
[81:24] brushing her teeth and I would do it day
[81:26] and night.
[81:26] >> She's brushing her own teeth now. I
[81:27] don't she's old enough to do it now as
[81:30] long just as long as she's
[81:31] >> Okay. What's the balance and upstart?
[81:32] Uh,
[81:33] >> it's like 5600 because whenever I get
[81:36] bonuses,
[81:36] >> what's the minimum monthly payment?
[81:37] >> It's I think like 112.
[81:39] >> What's the interest?
[81:41] >> 32%.
[81:42] >> What the?
[81:44] >> It was what I could get at the time.
[81:46] >> Okay. Wells Fargo credit card. What's
[81:47] this?
[81:48] >> So that's mine. Uh,
[81:50] >> what? What? Have they not been yours
[81:51] yet?
[81:52] >> Everything is Everything that you have
[81:54] is mine, but the spending
[81:56] >> I gave you all of my stuff.
[81:58] >> Okay. Well, I didn't send it in. Sorry.
[82:00] What the?
[82:01] >> So there's It's even worse. It's even
[82:03] more. So
[82:04] >> I have like three credit cards. They're
[82:06] not bad,
[82:07] >> but they're not with like high limits
[82:09] like his are. His are matter. They're
[82:11] still balances. You dumb tit.
[82:12] >> You're right. The the reason she The
[82:14] reason I didn't send them in is because
[82:15] uh that Upstar loan that I've got was uh
[82:18] it consolidated her stuff. So it's in
[82:21] >> But she still has balances on her credit
[82:23] cards right?
[82:23] >> I have recurring stuff that pays off
[82:25] every month. So I
[82:26] >> pay it off every month. They're
[82:27] balances. You don't like I still want to
[82:29] know your spending.
[82:31] >> Oh, it's like Apple Music.
[82:32] >> Be prepared to pull those up. I want to
[82:33] see the spending. Either way, 5,336.16.
[82:38] Minimum to payment $123.72.
[82:42] >> Interest is acrewing. So, it's
[82:43] temporarily at 1%.
[82:45] >> Right. Yeah. So, that that account that
[82:47] account is closed.
[82:48] >> Ah, so you did the hardship thing that I
[82:50] talked about.
[82:51] >> I didn't know that that's what I was
[82:53] signing up with them to do. I was just
[82:55] >> What's wrong with closing your accounts?
[82:56] You you already have a house.
[82:57] >> There's nothing wrong with it. I didn't
[82:58] know that I could close it and take out
[83:01] or get this hardship situation with them
[83:03] to have a minuscule interest rate on
[83:06] what's left. I didn't know that that was
[83:08] an option, but I found it by accident.
[83:10] >> Are you paying on that?
[83:11] >> Yeah.
[83:11] >> I didn't know that.
[83:13] >> What?
[83:13] >> That he was paying on the Wells Fargo
[83:15] one.
[83:16] >> Well, he has a minimum.
[83:16] >> Yeah, just the just the minimum every
[83:18] month.
[83:18] >> Um, I think now would be a really great
[83:20] time to tell you that he also opened up
[83:21] a new credit card with USAA.
[83:23] >> Myself.
[83:24] >> Yeah. Well, since Okay. Yeah, since we
[83:28] just got it in the mail.
[83:29] >> Why, dude? What is your addiction here?
[83:31] This is insane.
[83:32] >> So, a lot of those other ones I fell I
[83:34] fell into the trap of points chasing. I
[83:37] I didn't do it I didn't do the process
[83:39] correctly and that's how
[83:41] >> what like interest is acrewing and that
[83:42] completely negates any kind of points
[83:44] you'd ever get.
[83:45] >> Yes. Precisely.
[83:46] >> Okay. So,
[83:47] >> so and then you applied to financial
[83:48] audit, submitted your documents and then
[83:50] got a new credit card. Like you already
[83:51] know you're
[83:52] >> Yeah, I know,
[83:53] >> brother. So this hind card so he
[83:55] couldn't activate it.
[83:56] >> Even on here it says [ __ ] spending.
[83:58] Rosa's cafe and tortilla going inside
[84:00] getting some energy drinks. More
[84:02] Petland. What the? You made your pet
[84:05] petland down payment maybe on here.
[84:07] >> So that's a separate financing deal. It
[84:10] charges over uh it charges over 12
[84:14] months a uh a set balance.
[84:17] >> Chip donuts. Chip donuts. And I'll be
[84:18] honest,
[84:20] >> girl had her friends in town. I was
[84:23] like, you know, let's give them a little
[84:24] Texas love. Gosh [ __ ] please. I used to
[84:27] think they were incredible. There some
[84:28] Those were the worst donuts I've ever
[84:30] had in my life.
[84:30] >> It's got to be a fresh glaze. It's the
[84:32] only way it's good.
[84:34] >> And they're [ __ ] They're just They're
[84:36] like bread. This is bread. It's not
[84:38] donuts. They're like They're actually
[84:40] like a loaf of bread that's slightly
[84:41] glazed. They're [ __ ] man. That is
[84:44] >> I know. I know there's better donuts out
[84:45] there. That's
[84:46] >> Yeah. Round donuts. Crispy cream. Donuts
[84:49] ever.
[84:50] Even Duncan. Tim Horn.
[84:52] >> Absolutely. Duncan is trash.
[84:54] >> It's not good. You're right. It's not
[84:56] good. But it's better than Shipley.
[84:58] Shipley's not a donut, dude.
[84:59] >> Why are we arguing over Shiplan?
[85:03] >> Donut. We are donut connoisseurs.
[85:05] >> We are fat. Except
[85:06] >> and he's got a bad opinion about it's
[85:08] not a bad They're not donuts. You're
[85:10] right. Dunkin is [ __ ] But at least
[85:12] they're donuts. You were talking about a
[85:14] loaf of bread that gets a little glaze
[85:16] on it. It's horrible. It's literally it
[85:19] is the Congratulations. They're
[85:21] horrible. Everyone I saw everyone shake
[85:23] their head yes when I said that cuz
[85:24] they're [ __ ] donuts. You're a bad fat.
[85:26] >> Okay.
[85:27] >> I don't want to be fat. So I guess it's
[85:29] a good thing that I'm a bad fat. Oh,
[85:31] you're only getting fatter and it's on
[85:32] shitty food.
[85:32] >> Yeah, it's cuz I'm damn good at getting
[85:34] fat.
[85:34] >> You're damn good at eating the worst
[85:36] donuts.
[85:37] >> If you're going to be in public safety,
[85:38] at least get the good donuts.
[85:41] >> Well, I don't get donuts while I'm
[85:42] working.
[85:44] >> He gets them after for the kids. We do
[85:47] like a little donut sundae which has
[85:50] >> crispy.
[85:51] >> Well, yeah. Honestly, we don't really
[85:52] >> I love crispy cream. There's not one on
[85:54] the way home.
[85:54] >> What the?
[85:56] >> It's too out of the way.
[85:57] >> Okay. Saver card. Who?
[85:59] >> Also mine.
[86:00] >> $97242.
[86:03] I can never get Shipley. It's
[86:05] horrendous. What?
[86:07] >> The worst [ __ ] I've ever had. The the
[86:09] friends were so disappointed and
[86:10] everyone was so disappoint. They were so
[86:11] they were just so bad. They were so bad.
[86:13] Got the glaze. Got the filled. got the
[86:16] uh strawberry sprinkles. We got
[86:17] everything and it was all [ __ ]
[86:20] Barbarian filled. Horrible. Horrible.
[86:22] Horrible.
[86:23] >> I don't disagree.
[86:24] >> Then I got one and then I ate one the
[86:26] next day and it gave me diarrhea farts
[86:28] all day. It was horrible. $97242
[86:31] cents on here. Interest being acred. No
[86:33] purchases, but you're only making the
[86:34] minimum payment cuz we're avalanching.
[86:36] I.e. spending on the credit cards that
[86:38] we're putting more towards. Stupid
[86:40] stupid ass. 7 years to pay off. Interest
[86:44] is being acrewing like crazy. Yeah.
[86:46] Okay. Venmo credit card. [ __ ] me. What a
[86:49] balance. And a Venmo credit card takes
[86:53] eight years to pay off. 2,784.
[86:59] Ridiculous. You'll have experienced two
[87:01] more preschool graduations
[87:03] by the time this has paid off.
[87:05] >> But they're all going to use the same.
[87:07] >> Yeah. They better cuz that's the most
[87:08] pointless waste of society thing. Our
[87:11] quality of education is going down
[87:12] everywhere in this country. Everyone's
[87:14] becoming more and you're giving them a
[87:16] celebration for preschool.
[87:17] >> Yeah.
[87:18] >> [ __ ] off. Kindergarten, whatever. Same
[87:20] thing. Same [ __ ] to me.
[87:22] >> $69 monthly payment. Eight years to pay
[87:24] off. And oh, you're no interest.
[87:26] Interest is being accured. Brutal. Of 50
[87:29] bucks practically after a $70 payment.
[87:32] $277.84.
[87:35] Auto. We have a car.
[87:37] >> That's my car.
[87:38] >> What is it? It's a 2024 Volkswagen Atlas
[87:41] Seek.
[87:42] >> Okay. Well, you owe $38,000
[87:46] $385.74
[87:48] with a minimum monthly payment of $754.
[87:52] Now, that's that highinccome [ __ ]
[87:55] That's where people themselves. I got
[87:57] death threats on Twitter yesterday after
[87:59] Dexto posted a clip of me saying we
[88:01] spent too much on cars. Here's an
[88:03] example. They make so much money then
[88:04] they get $800 minimum payment on their
[88:06] car that they don't need. You know how
[88:08] much it was worth for your $40,000 loan?
[88:10] >> So I
[88:11] >> What's it worth?
[88:12] >> It's worth a lot to me.
[88:13] >> Okay. $28,000. You
[88:16] >> Okay. Well, I yourself I'm going to
[88:18] drive the wheels off it. But also the
[88:19] car is what everyone says.
[88:21] >> Well, I don't have any plans to upgrade.
[88:23] >> We What are you a little Nazi? What do
[88:25] you mean? What?
[88:26] >> I just like my car. We upgraded because
[88:29] all three car seats would not fit in my
[88:31] previous car.
[88:33] >> Don't care. You owe a lot of money on
[88:34] this car.
[88:35] >> What am I supposed to do? drag the other
[88:36] kid behind me with a chain.
[88:38] >> There's other cars that exist that can
[88:39] fit it that are not $40,000 at an $800 a
[88:42] month payment. I What name it off the
[88:45] top of my head? A used Volkswagen.
[88:48] >> Ours was No, it was new. But we got a
[88:50] better deal on it. You on a
[88:51] >> Shut the up. You didn't get a good deal.
[88:53] You're underwater by $10,000. What's the
[88:54] interest rate on it?
[88:56] >> Seven and change.
[88:58] >> Go off. So, it's barely even competing
[88:59] with the marketplace if your money's in
[89:00] there and then you got depreciating. You
[89:01] already lost 10.
[89:04] You'll lose more as it goes. Me so
[89:07] stupid. What is this then? A lease?
[89:10] >> Yeah,
[89:10] >> you have a lease. What's your lease?
[89:12] >> I got a 2025 F-150.
[89:16] >> This is
[89:16] >> And he had a Volkswagen Jetta that was
[89:18] almost paid off.
[89:20] >> You are a American.
[89:22] You don't do anything. You go to work
[89:25] and drive a different car.
[89:28] You don't need this. You don't do
[89:29] anything. You pick up groceries. Even
[89:31] I've used it for things that I couldn't
[89:32] have done
[89:33] >> a couple times that you could rent a car
[89:34] for that you could rent a truck in the
[89:36] moment for. You don't need you never you
[89:39] never in no way do you need an F-150.
[89:43] >> I mean I needed something that just like
[89:45] hers that could fit all three car seats.
[89:47] >> You didn't need a Ford
[89:48] >> also and also do other things like
[89:51] whenever we were uh she wanted to build
[89:54] something for uh doing pottery
[89:56] >> rent.
[89:59] You don't need to lease this [ __ ] at
[90:01] $579.81
[90:02] a month, which your miles will likely be
[90:04] over, which your gas payment, especially
[90:06] now, is aggressive on.
[90:07] >> Yeah, the g the gas is hard right now.
[90:09] >> Yeah. Your problem. Your fault.
[90:11] >> Can I also just say that um our our
[90:14] monthly payments increased on things
[90:17] because he had a really sweet deal where
[90:19] he was still on his parents' insurance
[90:21] and he was not paying his dad for the
[90:23] insurance. So, they told him to get his
[90:25] own. So now he has to pay what is it
[90:28] like $300 with your own
[90:30] >> uh yeah between
[90:32] that for the budget
[90:34] >> the
[90:34] >> what's the term on this
[90:36] >> uh
[90:37] >> 5 years
[90:37] >> 40 no 48 months
[90:38] >> and what are you going to do after once
[90:40] it's done
[90:41] >> release it to keep it
[90:43] >> why something you don't need
[90:45] >> get an auto loan to finish
[90:46] >> F150 to get to the office and you have a
[90:48] Ford F150 to get groceries this is so
[90:51] pathetic
[90:53] you you're the most American piece of
[90:55] [ __ ] with a stupid car. It's so stupid.
[90:58] >> I I think that it's that it works out
[91:00] because I mean ju right
[91:02] >> afford your car payments are a,000 500
[91:05] bucks.
[91:05] >> Yeah, I know they're expensive, but I
[91:07] mean ju just for the truck I have I have
[91:09] a
[91:10] >> which you don't utilize.
[91:10] >> I have a 40 a 40 mile commute to work.
[91:13] >> That's even a worse reason to That's
[91:15] even a worse reason to have a truck. A
[91:16] 40 mile commute. What the
[91:18] >> Yeah. No, I I'm I'm not disputing that.
[91:20] The fuel economy sucks compared to to
[91:22] the last car that I had. But I'm in a
[91:24] position where no matter the weather, no
[91:26] matter what's going on, I have to get
[91:28] there. So
[91:29] >> with it, just stay in an SUV. You'd be
[91:31] fine.
[91:31] >> Over the winter when we had snow and
[91:34] ice just
[91:35] >> four-wheel drive SUV, you'd be fine.
[91:38] >> A four-wheel drive SUV is the same price
[91:40] of pickup.
[91:41] >> I went to I think it was like the uh
[91:43] it's statistically like the eighth
[91:45] snowiest university in the United
[91:46] States. Snows up to here constantly.
[91:48] West Michigan, [ __ ] Lake Michigan,
[91:51] lake effect snow. Crazy. I had a
[91:53] two-wheel drive horrible sedan and I was
[91:57] doing delivery Jimmy John's and uh uh
[92:02] avalanches. Shut up.
[92:04] >> Compact snow is way easier to drive on
[92:06] than
[92:06] >> black ice.
[92:08] >> What are you talk? I WAS BLACK ICE every
[92:10] second of every day. What do you think
[92:12] happens up there? It's horrible. It's
[92:14] scary.
[92:14] >> I think it just snows and everyone
[92:15] drives on it and then it compacts and
[92:17] it's easy to drive.
[92:17] >> No. And it's also like hurricane snow
[92:20] [ __ ] too. Blizzards, buddy, this is a
[92:23] cope. You're coping. Shut the up. Your
[92:27] house
[92:29] $323,85684.
[92:33] What's it worth right now?
[92:34] >> Um, I think it's worth 368.
[92:36] >> Okay. So, I guess you would be close to
[92:38] breaking even if you sold it after
[92:40] everything.
[92:41] >> $2,349.71
[92:43] a month. A decent rate. Actually, good
[92:45] rate at 4.25. So, I do like to see that.
[92:47] That's fine. I'm not freaking out about
[92:49] the house. Yeah, the
[92:50] >> the mortgage payment's a little higher
[92:52] now. Um after the first year there was
[92:55] >> So what's it now?
[92:56] >> Uh just under uh Yeah, it's just under
[92:58] 3,000.
[92:59] >> Hey, me.
[93:01] >> But that was because our taxes went up.
[93:03] And then we also found out that we were
[93:04] >> Show me your credit cards.
[93:05] >> We were We also found out double paying
[93:08] insurance.
[93:09] >> Here we go. Checking account. Decent
[93:10] money in there, but it's Cheesecake
[93:12] [ __ ] Great American Lush. Sonic
[93:16] Sonic [ __ ] at Target. [ __ ] at
[93:18] Target. Amazon, Sonic, Apple Bill,
[93:20] Waterburger Lowe's Nails Etsy
[93:23] [ __ ] McDonald's, [ __ ] Sonic,
[93:26] [ __ ] SONIC, SONIC, SONIC. WHAT IS
[93:29] WITH YOU IN SONIC? It's horrible. It's
[93:31] the greasiest [ __ ] in the world. It's
[93:32] actually
[93:34] defend that [ __ ] because it is one
[93:36] drink, maybe two with my sister and it
[93:39] keeps
[93:40] >> $4250 at Sonic.
[93:42] >> That was a night that we all had dinner.
[93:44] >> Interesting. Shut the up. No, you
[93:47] didn't. Okay. $10. It's a $10 drink
[93:50] >> if me and my sister go and she gets a
[93:51] >> sister that doesn't pay rent. [ __ ] off.
[93:53] Amazon. When is that some energy drink?
[93:56] Spotify. Sonic. Apple bill.
[93:59] >> Energy drink. Snowy fun. [ __ ]
[94:01] Energy drink was a birthday.
[94:03] >> Panda Express. Off. You can't afford it.
[94:05] >> Amazon. Amazon. School Cafe. Raising
[94:08] Cane. Sonic. Amazon. [ __ ] Amazon.
[94:10] Amazon. Um, okay. Pharmacy probably.
[94:13] Okay. McDonald's. Sonic. McDonald's.
[94:16] Amazon. Energy drink. [ __ ]
[94:20] Auto pay. Oh, auto payment. Well,
[94:22] something I don't know, but it's like 41
[94:23] bucks. Black Rockck Coffee.
[94:25] >> Oh, that was like an auto payment to a
[94:27] card.
[94:27] >> Amazon. In-N-Out. [ __ ] Apple bill.
[94:30] Water burger. Waterburg. Waterburg.
[94:31] Sonic.
[94:33] Boot city. Cavenders. [ __ ] Sonic.
[94:37] [ __ ] Energy drink. [ __ ] Apple
[94:40] Bell. Energy drink. McDonald's. Canteen.
[94:43] Vending machine. Yeah, at work probably.
[94:46] Vetting machine, black rock coffee,
[94:47] Sonic coffee,
[94:50] [ __ ] raising canes,
[94:53] got the trial for AMC, every dollar.
[94:55] Well, now you get dollar wise for free
[94:57] forever. So, congratulations.
[94:58] McDonald's [ __ ]
[95:01] [ __ ] Victoria's Secret, 80 bucks
[95:03] there. Chick-fil-A, Starbucks, [ __ ]
[95:06] Waterburg, Sonic, [ __ ] APPLE BILL,
[95:08] SONIC, [ __ ] [ __ ]
[95:12] Energy drinks, energy drinks, Sonic,
[95:13] [ __ ] Waterburger, black coffee,
[95:15] Amazon. Amazon. What the are we doing?
[95:18] Savings $103. Wow, what a stunning
[95:20] success. $200,000 a year household. What
[95:22] the are we doing? 7% employee
[95:25] contribution rate for this TMRS. Well,
[95:27] what's the balance? 13,000. Definitely
[95:29] behind for your age.
[95:30] >> Yeah, but that's
[95:31] >> Robin Hood 189.
[95:33] >> So on that on that retirement account,
[95:35] it's um my employer matches 2 to1. So
[95:39] >> that's good, but there's only 13 in
[95:41] there,
[95:41] >> right? But that's that's only my contrib
[95:43] that's only my contributions
[95:45] >> because I'm not fully vested yet. So I
[95:48] can see the amount that will be
[95:50] available. It's just not fully available
[95:52] until I hit 5 years with them.
[95:53] >> Got you. Even still behind for your age
[95:55] for sure,
[95:55] >> especially at your income.
[95:57] >> And that's you guys know what your
[95:58] retirement should be at in about one
[96:00] year.
[96:00] >> Uh probably $100,000.
[96:02] >> $200,000 combined. So, what we need to
[96:05] be doing is paying off everything and
[96:08] then living solely off one income and
[96:10] putting everything else away.
[96:11] >> You're just literally having a monthly
[96:12] fee on here. You're just paying for your
[96:13] monthly fee.
[96:14] >> I was just saying I need to I can't you
[96:17] still haven't cancelceled that card?
[96:18] >> No, I haven't. I'm sorry.
[96:20] >> You need to I told her that she needs to
[96:23] cancel.
[96:24] >> Literally just paid a monthly fee for
[96:25] the credit card and you didn't even
[96:26] spend on it.
[96:27] >> And you still have the credit one?
[96:29] >> Yeah,
[96:29] >> credit one's insane.
[96:31] >> Yeah, I need to delete I need to delete
[96:33] them.
[96:33] >> Delete it. Um, or I need to cancel them.
[96:35] >> Yeah, I told you that 3 months ago.
[96:38] >> Sorry.
[96:38] >> Well, why didn't you do it?
[96:40] >> I forgot to be so honest.
[96:42] >> Shut the [ __ ] up. What kind of That's so
[96:45] immature.
[96:47] Credit One's insane. All this bullshit's
[96:49] insane. Minimum Ze payments, no
[96:51] mortgage $2,42,341
[96:54] without the mortgage, guys. 2500 bucks.
[96:59] Never been in the credit one app. This
[97:01] is disgusting. Okay. Yeah, you purchased
[97:03] 46 bucks here. Where where' it go?
[97:05] Where' it go?
[97:06] >> Probably to [ __ ]
[97:07] >> Canva and church
[97:11] and another credit one. Jeez.
[97:13] >> The Canva I probably need to expense.
[97:15] That's for work. I do a lot of our
[97:16] marketing stuff.
[97:17] >> But you're doing it on the credit one is
[97:19] insane.
[97:20] >> It's just what was attached to it.
[97:22] >> Uh Stan Pato.
[97:25] >> What?
[97:26] >> I don't know. It's a store. Some some
[97:27] guy's store you spend money in. Cur one.
[97:30] Oh, and here we go. Recent transactions.
[97:32] Black Rockck coffee. Sonic. It just
[97:34] continues. He went inside, got some
[97:35] [ __ ] Oh, some gas. Sonic [ __ ]
[97:37] Starbucks, Jack the Box, Barnes & Noble,
[97:39] Monster Yogurt, Chick-fil-A. What the is
[97:41] wrong with you?
[97:42] >> You guys are pathetic on your spending.
[97:44] This is insane.
[97:46] Mortgage 2,900.
[97:50] What's your gas, electric, utilities,
[97:52] internet combined?
[97:53] >> Um, our electric is 150. Our gas is 60.
[97:58] Our
[98:00] water is 125.
[98:03] Our
[98:04] trash is included in the water.
[98:07] >> Internet. So you utility should be
[98:09] around 350. Internet also has her phone
[98:12] bundle.
[98:13] >> It's included in our phone. How much? Um
[98:14] it's like $400 a month for
[98:16] >> No, no, it's uh
[98:17] >> It just went down.
[98:18] >> It just went down to three.
[98:20] >> Good death.
[98:21] >> For phone plus internet.
[98:22] >> 650. [ __ ] off, man. Again, helium when
[98:25] your phones are paid off. What the [ __ ]
[98:26] are we doing? I know the service is
[98:28] great up there.
[98:29] >> Phone bill. All right. Well, we already
[98:31] Is there an additional phone bill on top
[98:32] of that?
[98:33] >> Um, he should be paying his parents for
[98:34] his um
[98:35] >> how much?
[98:36] >> No. So, my my agreement with my parents
[98:38] is they have me on their plan as the
[98:42] as the primary so that they can keep
[98:45] >> gas vroom vroom drive. Both of you
[98:46] combined. It's going to be insane.
[98:48] >> Right now, we're like $450 a month.
[98:51] >> The price is even that low.
[98:52] >> I also get like a $300 stipend every
[98:54] quarter for gas.
[98:55] >> Oh, quarter. Yeah.
[98:56] >> Okay. So, I'll bring it down to 350
[98:58] then.
[98:59] >> $100 went to it. Car insurance combined.
[99:02] >> Uh,
[99:02] >> you just combined it.
[99:04] >> Oh, what did it just go up to?
[99:06] >> About 400.
[99:07] >> Kill me. Okay. Necessary food. Listen.
[99:10] Okay. So, two 20month-old pretty much
[99:12] eating everything normal.
[99:13] >> 265.
[99:17] >> That's the That's the last payment.
[99:20] >> Oh, he added me to it.
[99:21] >> Either way, 20-year-old, 2-year-old.
[99:23] >> Mhm.
[99:24] >> Eating everything just normal.
[99:25] >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Eats everything under
[99:26] the sun.
[99:27] >> Six month olds sound like baby food
[99:28] though right?
[99:29] >> Baby food and formula.
[99:30] >> Formula formula is $200 to $300 a month.
[99:33] >> That's fine. So I think we should be
[99:35] able to do groceries. Total meal
[99:36] prepping about a,000 bucks. TP find
[99:39] anything else needed to survive. That is
[99:40] diapers. That is everything. That is
[99:41] [ __ ] as toilet paper. That is school
[99:42] [ __ ] It's going to be expensive for a
[99:44] household like yours. About 500 bucks a
[99:45] month. Medical health care. How much
[99:47] co-pays monthly basis? Anything?
[99:49] >> Uh we have a uh we owe money to the
[99:53] pediatrician's office. Well, that's a
[99:55] debt.
[99:55] >> Well, it it it's because I didn't know
[99:58] the
[99:59] >> Well, how much?
[100:00] >> It's $100 every month for
[100:01] >> It's for 27 months. It's $2,700.
[100:04] >> Well, add 100 bucks to the debt cuz
[100:05] that's what it is. Are there any co-pays
[100:07] on a monthly basis, though?
[100:08] >> No.
[100:09] >> Okay. Jim, what was it like 550?
[100:11] >> Oh, it's way more than that now cuz uh
[100:15] third kid, then she added Pilates to it.
[100:19] >> How much?
[100:19] >> 765.
[100:21] >> We'll see how it ends up. Pet insurance
[100:23] 50 bucks. How much for pet food? Uh
[100:26] >> 50 bucks every quarter. He He eats like
[100:29] a cup of food for
[100:30] >> it'll ramp up. Okay. 20 bucks. I'll put
[100:32] >> No, he's fully grown now.
[100:34] >> Okay. So, seven months.
[100:36] >> He's still a puppy.
[100:38] >> I mean, he's not he's not going to grow
[100:41] in size anymore.
[100:42] >> I don't know if that means he's
[100:43] >> subscriptions. I'm going to try to give
[100:45] you guys like 200 bucks if I'm being
[100:47] nice. Let's see. Anything else that
[100:48] needs to be in this budget?
[100:51] Uh, I don't think so.
[100:53] >> I don't have
[100:54] >> All right, guys. Yeah, even with that,
[100:56] there's some wiggle room, but there's a
[100:57] lot of debt to pay off. Okay, so needed
[100:59] to survive. $9,36411.
[101:02] I give you $200 for subscriptions. You
[101:04] can use some of that. Put it to fun.
[101:06] Maybe $100 for subscriptions, 100 for
[101:07] fun. You don't get to spend money on
[101:09] [ __ ] or not right now because you
[101:11] have an extra Okay, let me do this. Let
[101:13] me give you guys $200 for fun. You have
[101:15] an extra $2,200
[101:17] on a monthly basis. Okay. So, that's
[101:19] going out to eat. It's going doing
[101:21] whatever. Save it up over a month and
[101:22] have $400 next month. Whatever. But I
[101:24] need to figure out more than anything
[101:26] the most important.
[101:30] Okay. So, total debt $68,4104
[101:35] plus what's the total pediatrician debt?
[101:38] >> $2700.
[101:39] >> Okay.
[101:41] With the $2,200, I mean, yeah, you guys
[101:44] paid it off in just about 2 and a half
[101:47] years. And that's not bad. And I'm
[101:48] giving you fun money. And you know,
[101:50] overtime, more we can rack up, the
[101:51] better that pays it off. Raises
[101:53] throughout the years, that'll pay it
[101:54] off. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys
[101:55] pay it off in about 2 years to be
[101:57] completely honest. And that's with fun
[101:58] money in a great subscription fund. And
[102:00] I gave you a lot. But you're meal
[102:02] prepping. We're not eating now. You can
[102:03] use your $200 for take from
[102:05] subscriptions. You can use $300 towards
[102:06] There you go. But whatever. It's 2
[102:08] years, guys. This isn't the end of the
[102:10] world. Or two and a half depending if
[102:11] your income is purely stagnant. But you
[102:13] have to make a change. You have to make
[102:14] a sacrifice. No more credit card
[102:16] spending. And it's all in the debit. And
[102:17] yes, you did have enough money in there.
[102:19] You didn't have to put it on credit
[102:20] card. Stop around. You guys are behind
[102:22] on retirement. Don't put yourself in a
[102:24] dangerous situation with your kid. You
[102:25] guys make an incredible income. Take
[102:26] advantage of it now, guys. Stop being
[102:28] pathetic. Stop being pathetic. Then
[102:31] after that, a fully funded six-month
[102:32] emergency fund. Then 20% is going to
[102:34] retirement on a monthly basis. And you
[102:35] guys have an incredible 30% to spend on
[102:37] fund with your $11,800, which will be
[102:40] even higher, but you'll be able to spend
[102:41] $3,540 a month on fun. [ __ ] off. It's
[102:44] better than anyone gets to ever. So shut
[102:46] the up. This is the easiest situation
[102:48] ever. It's disgusting that you're in it.
[102:50] It's disgusting that you're not getting
[102:51] out of it. It's not complicated.
[102:52] Communicate. Go to couples therapy.
[102:54] Figure it out. Before we go to the post
[102:57] show, let me get their hammer financial
[102:58] score. Get yours at calehammer.com.
[103:00] Spending in a budget.
[103:03] You overspend dramatically. $22,000.
[103:05] Zero out of 10 cuz you guys don't
[103:07] communicate. You won't talk. You don't
[103:08] budget. Use dollar-wise debt. No
[103:11] collections, which is good.
[103:14] But it is pretty I I'll give you a 2 out
[103:16] of 10. Not good. Obviously, two years to
[103:19] pay off though. Emergency funds. Uh
[103:21] there was really nothing in savings.
[103:23] There's a little bit in checking
[103:24] account. I'll give you a two out of 10
[103:25] to be generous cuz there's like 6,000 in
[103:26] checking account, but I'm sure that
[103:28] fluctuates dramatically. In fact, I'll
[103:29] give it a 1 out of 10 because of that.
[103:31] Retirement definitely behind for our
[103:32] age. I didn't see anything from you.
[103:33] What?
[103:34] >> No. My company doesn't have a retirement
[103:35] plan and I don't have
[103:37] >> they don't have a 401k.
[103:38] >> No,
[103:38] >> they don't have to match for them. Okay.
[103:40] Well, you still have access to IAS. So,
[103:42] >> right off.
[103:43] >> I have an interest bearing savings
[103:44] account but
[103:45] >> okay. IRA, max it out, dude. Okay,
[103:47] whatever. Uh, retirement. I will give
[103:50] you about a 3 out of 10 there. That
[103:52] might be generous. Real estate is the
[103:54] only thing going for you. You can sell
[103:55] at break even. Great interest rate, good
[103:57] location, you're in a boom town. Yeah.
[103:59] Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm happy with the real
[104:01] estate. Eight out of 10, but I'm going
[104:02] to bring the retirement down to two.
[104:08] Hammer financial score. Get your at
[104:10] Calebhammer.com.
[104:11] Real estate's caring you guys three out
[104:13] of 10. Join us in the post show by
[104:15] clicking that join button or by
[104:16] downloading the Hammer elite app or
[104:18] going to hammerite.com. You can watch it
[104:20] on YouTube or you can watch it on our
[104:21] platform. Completely up to you. Say
[104:23] membership on both places. Love you
[104:24] guys. Thanks for supporting us. See you
[104:26] in the best membership on YouTube in the
[104:30] h and the financial auto post show.
[104:32] >> There was a a consolidation loan that we
[104:33] didn't talk about.
[104:34] >> But you haven't changed your behavior.
[104:35] You spent so much money. Hey, it wasn't
[104:37] even my idea. Whose idea was it? Kelly,
[104:40] >> it was your idea.
[104:41] >> So was the So was the upstart.
[104:44] >> How much was the loan for?
[104:46] >> $1,000.
[104:47] >> Consolidated.
[104:50] >> I have an exclusive offer just for you,
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