[0:01] It's It's not good, but it's not as bad
[0:05] as like the ginormous super stinkers
[0:08] we've seen DCU fart out in the past. I
[0:11] will say it is a big step back from
[0:14] Superman, which I enjoyed. This feels
[0:16] like a remnant of old superhero films
[0:18] where it's just a CGI schmorggishborg at
[0:22] times some wonky CGI with a very generic
[0:25] standard plot and a very forgettable
[0:28] villain whom I know by the time credits
[0:31] role you'll forget the name of. I
[0:33] didn't. Crim, that's his name. I said it
[0:37] with confidence. Chin held high, but
[0:39] then I wasn't exactly sure. So, I double
[0:41] checked. I was right. It is Crim of the
[0:43] Yellow Hills. So rejoice Crim fan. Well,
[0:47] not a whole lot to rejoice about if you
[0:49] do like the comic book counterpart of
[0:51] Crim. Cuz in here, he [ __ ] sucks,
[0:54] man. He I also think he has less than 20
[0:57] words to say. Pretty much every time
[0:59] he's on screen, he's doing two things.
[1:01] One of two things. Eating food like
[1:04] eating cereal out of a bowl or drinking
[1:06] some alien titty milk. Or he's doing
[1:09] this,
[1:11] hitting the blue steel. and he walks
[1:14] around kind of like Jack Sparrow
[1:15] sometimes. I don't know. He's really
[1:17] lame. He's a very lame villain. But
[1:19] overall, the movie is not great by any
[1:21] means, but I certainly wouldn't put it
[1:23] side by side with some of DCU's worst,
[1:26] which I know isn't really a compliment.
[1:28] I don't think it's that bad, but it's
[1:30] definitely
[1:32] a misstep here in the new DCU launch. So
[1:35] anyway, this film follows Supergirl Cara
[1:38] as she is still on her, you know, crash
[1:43] out arc where she's drinking herself
[1:45] into oblivion. She prefers to stay on
[1:48] red sun planets that way she's normal
[1:50] and can feel pain and bleed and get
[1:54] wasted and drunk and that kind of thing.
[1:56] She's a mess because she's gone through
[1:59] so much in her life that's made her lose
[2:02] faith in people and kind of just lose
[2:05] the will to, you know, be the person
[2:08] that her family expected her to be. As
[2:11] well as Clark, the expectations Superman
[2:15] has of her. She doesn't have any
[2:16] interest in living up to that. She just
[2:18] wants to drink and pass out and that's
[2:21] it. And then Crim gets introduced after
[2:25] he kills a family for their swords.
[2:28] There was a little girl who survived the
[2:30] massacre and now she's out for revenge.
[2:32] And she happens to run into Cara at a
[2:34] bar where she was dancing around. Then
[2:37] she tries to recruit her to help avenge
[2:39] her family and kill Crim, which she has
[2:42] no interest in helping this little girl.
[2:44] But then Crim steals her ship and shoots
[2:46] Krypto with a poison dart. Now she has
[2:48] three days before Krypto dies. Thus, she
[2:50] has to go get the antidote that he wears
[2:52] around his neck with his necklace. So,
[2:56] they team up and they go try and track
[2:58] him down and get that antidote. Super
[3:00] simple. We've seen it done a million
[3:02] times. Not trying to reinvent the wheel,
[3:04] which I think is fine, but I don't think
[3:06] it executes it that well. I do think
[3:09] Supergirl being so different from
[3:10] Superman is a positive thing, though.
[3:12] Her being like the exact opposite of
[3:14] Clark, I think, is great, and it's a
[3:16] good thing to explore. This movie does
[3:19] not explore it very well. But I will be
[3:22] honest here, sports fans. I think Millie
[3:24] Alcock can be a good Supergirl. The
[3:26] script here was just complete
[3:28] irredeemable ass. And there was no
[3:30] saving that. But I do think Millie
[3:32] Alcock can play this character well if
[3:35] there are some better writers around it
[3:37] for sure. And another thing that really
[3:39] shoots this film in the foot is how
[3:41] desperately it wants to be Guardians of
[3:43] the Galaxy. It feels like they plugged
[3:46] James Gun's formula into chat GPT and
[3:49] asked it to try and emulate it the best
[3:50] they could. And that's how a lot of
[3:53] Supergirl plays out on screen. It tries
[3:56] so hard to hamfist boner jams into so
[4:00] many sequences to elevate it and it it
[4:03] just fumbles. Especially one action
[4:06] scene in particular set to a awful cover
[4:10] of Jimmy Eat World. the middle. It I
[4:14] can't even describe to you how out of
[4:16] place that felt. Like the action in the
[4:18] movie is pretty solid and there's a lot
[4:20] of it which I appreciate. So, a big
[4:22] compliment I can give to the film is
[4:23] that it's not boring in terms of like
[4:26] what you're seeing on screen. It's
[4:27] boring in terms of narrative and how
[4:29] predictable it is and been there, done
[4:32] that. But at least there's quite a bit
[4:33] of action and the visuals for the most
[4:35] part are solid. Albeit there are couple
[4:38] instances where it falls apart in that
[4:40] department. But overall, it was fine
[4:42] there. But they keep ruining some action
[4:46] moments by trying to be James Gun. Like
[4:52] I'm trying to avoid like a ton of
[4:53] spoilers, but I don't even really know
[4:55] why. So, we're going to get into some
[4:56] spoilers. Now, it is established very
[4:58] early on how Cara doesn't view Earth as
[5:02] her home. She feels very out of place
[5:05] there. So, why the [ __ ] would she be
[5:07] playing Earth music? That doesn't make
[5:09] sense. It makes sense for Star-Lord for
[5:12] obvious reasons, but why why would she
[5:14] want all of these Earth tunes to be
[5:17] surrounded by at all times? And when
[5:20] they're shooting these sequences set to
[5:22] this music, it just doesn't hit at all.
[5:25] It feels so out of place and it feels
[5:28] like it's only there to remind you of
[5:30] like, remember when James Gun did it?
[5:32] We're doing it, too.
[5:34] It just felt very cringe, unfortunately.
[5:38] Now, one thing I do think that they did
[5:39] a good job with though is Lobo. Now, I
[5:42] know Jason Mamoa has been a fan cast for
[5:44] Lobo for a long time. I was genuinely
[5:46] impressed with how well he played that
[5:48] character. I like Lobo a lot. I've
[5:51] talked about him a lot on stream, and I
[5:53] actually think he's very good in this
[5:54] film for how little he appears in it.
[5:56] He's not like a big character by any
[5:58] means, but he is a reoccurring
[5:59] character, and every time he's on
[6:00] screen, it is a treat. I think the lines
[6:02] that get him kind of suck major ass, but
[6:05] at the very least, he is great in the
[6:08] action sequences. Taking the chopper for
[6:10] a spin, blowing [ __ ] up. He's got his
[6:13] hook and he like pudge from Dota 2,
[6:15] yanks him back and [ __ ] for his target.
[6:18] Like, he was very good. But the same
[6:21] can't be said about how they use
[6:23] Supergirl and her abilities here. They
[6:27] perpetually nerf her. She nerfs herself
[6:29] obviously by going to red sun planets
[6:31] and drinking. But from then on when
[6:35] she's actually on the mission to save
[6:37] Krypto and you know get the antidote
[6:40] from Crim, the amount of things they had
[6:43] to figure out in order to like diminish
[6:46] her abilities is just almost laughable.
[6:49] So she gets poisoned with a drink while
[6:52] she's, you know, looking for Crim. So
[6:55] then when Crim shows up, they're kind of
[6:56] on equal footing to a certain extent
[6:58] because now she's all wobbly and
[6:59] poisoned and trying to chug milk to coat
[7:01] her stomach. And then they even have the
[7:04] final battle take place on a planet that
[7:07] has a green sun and a yellow sun. So
[7:12] when the green sun's out, she's on
[7:14] death's door withering away and then the
[7:18] yellow sun comes out and she's powered
[7:19] up again. So, she spends the vast
[7:21] majority of this film in a depowered
[7:23] nerf state, which I just think is
[7:25] underwhelming. And it doesn't make it
[7:26] seem like Crim's all that powerful
[7:28] because he's able to survive endure some
[7:32] of Supergirl's attacks. Although, she
[7:34] never really fights him until the end.
[7:36] It's just a couple of like a little bit
[7:38] of slap boxing to to a lesser degree.
[7:41] So, he never really feels scary or like
[7:44] a big bad. Like, yeah, he's very
[7:46] unlikable. He's an easily hatable
[7:48] character. you know, he killed an
[7:49] innocent family. He shot a dog. He's
[7:51] kidnapping little girls to make them
[7:53] brides. He's a very bad guy, but he
[7:56] never seems like a really strong villain
[7:58] that's on equal footing with Supergirl
[8:00] or anything. And there's even a sequence
[8:02] where while she's poisoned and stumbling
[8:05] around, she starts to get her strength
[8:06] back. So, she fights some of the guys.
[8:08] And then Crim escapes and is about to
[8:12] kill one of the children. And Ruthie,
[8:15] the girl that's been accompanying uh
[8:18] Supergirl on this journey, is flanking
[8:20] him with her sword about to kill him.
[8:23] And then Supergirl takes her away
[8:24] saying, "No, you can't do that. Revenge
[8:26] is bad. It's going to [ __ ] you up. This
[8:27] isn't going to bring them back." And
[8:28] then he instantly goes and kills that
[8:30] girl and kills her parents. And
[8:32] Supergirl gets there after it happens.
[8:35] Ruthie makes a really good point saying,
[8:36] "If you would let me kill him, they
[8:37] would still be alive. Your decision has
[8:39] literally cost them their lives." And
[8:41] she's right. But Supergirl still takes
[8:42] this moral high ground even though
[8:44] throughout the entire film she's just
[8:45] been an [ __ ] about everything. Oh, I
[8:46] see the truth in people this and that.
[8:48] And now all of a sudden she's taking
[8:48] this moral high ground to prevent her
[8:50] from killing this man for revenge. But
[8:52] Ruthie's right. Had she killed him, it
[8:54] would have saved those innocent lives
[8:56] again. So I agree that blood's on
[8:58] Supergirl's shoulders there. Like that's
[9:00] on her hands. And it feels like it
[9:02] wasn't like a gradual buildup or
[9:04] anything. Like she says, you know,
[9:05] revenge isn't really that good, but
[9:06] she's been jaded throughout the entire
[9:08] movie. She's been, you know, very
[9:10] clearly down in the dumps about
[9:12] everything going on and she has no
[9:15] desire to be like a hero or anything
[9:17] moral like that. But now all of a sudden
[9:18] she takes her away. No, don't do
[9:20] revenge. Let these innocent people die
[9:22] instead and then lectures her about it.
[9:25] It felt so odd and like it just came out
[9:28] of nowhere really. It didn't feel it
[9:30] didn't feel like it built up to that.
[9:32] And it certainly didn't help that there
[9:34] were immediate repercussions for it.
[9:36] Also, it also seems like Supergirl kept
[9:38] forgetting how her powers work. She can
[9:40] see through walls. Like, there should
[9:41] never be a time where Supergirl can't
[9:43] find Crim or what she's looking for in
[9:47] any of these situations. She can see
[9:49] through walls. And she uses it like two
[9:52] times in this movie. So, why doesn't she
[9:54] use it at the most important moments?
[9:56] It's just the only way a lot of things
[9:58] happen in this film is by her being
[10:00] constantly nerfed or just forgetting,
[10:02] whoopsie, I have these powers that could
[10:04] pretty much solve this right away. But
[10:06] anyway, I'm not going to keep yapping
[10:08] about it. It just wasn't very good. I
[10:10] don't think it's, you know, down there
[10:12] with bottom three of DCU or anything
[10:15] like that, but this definitely isn't
[10:18] where you want to go right after
[10:19] Superman. This is a a step backwards for
[10:22] sure. Anyway, that's really about it.
[10:24] See?