[0:04] In all my years of playing video games,
[0:06] I have never felt morally conflicted
[0:09] about being a
[0:11] fan. You likely know what Counterstrike
[0:14] is, but what do you really know about
[0:16] Striking a Counter?
[0:20] massively popular FPS that began as a
[0:22] Half-Life mod in 1999 and proceeded to
[0:25] take over the entire online universe
[0:27] with its groundbreaking realistic
[0:29] approach to strategic combat. Virtual
[0:32] slot machine that allows miners to
[0:33] gamble. Counterstrike has been around
[0:35] for a quarter of a century. Sorry, hold
[0:37] on. What? Um, let's go back over here.
[0:41] What? What's up? What's going on?
[0:42] Entering the world of Counterstrike is
[0:44] like trying to scale a massive building.
[0:46] A building with two sides. Well, most
[0:48] buildings traditionally have four sides,
[0:50] but I'm not exactly a geomet or
[0:52] anything, but Okay. So, do you just like
[0:53] want to do this part or I mean, yeah.
[0:56] All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can do
[0:57] it. This side is communitydriven
[0:59] innovation paired with passionate
[1:01] storied competition together sculpting
[1:04] modern esports and all FPS games forever
[1:07] for eternity period. Final answer. And
[1:10] then there's this other side, one of
[1:12] frequent racism, rampant cheating, and
[1:16] gambling. A side where several of your
[1:18] own teammates will call you a creative
[1:20] slur and then try to vote kick you from
[1:22] the match. A side that makes you
[1:24] question your own active participation.
[1:26] Many of you have surely seen the
[1:28] Coffeezilla series on CS Gambling. It's
[1:31] an excellent deep dive on how and why we
[1:33] got to where we are with the billiondoll
[1:35] skin economy Valve has manufactured.
[1:38] Because make no mistake, Valve is an
[1:39] amazingly talented game industry icon.
[1:42] And they've also very intentionally
[1:45] crafted a highly addictive slot machine
[1:47] system for virtual skins that are worth
[1:49] real life money in a game that's free to
[1:51] play that has no enforceable age limit.
[1:53] Along with wild untamed snakes, weird,
[1:56] highly sexual mobile game ads, and
[1:58] anything to do with the Paul Brothers,
[2:00] gambling belongs over here in the zone I
[2:03] like to call Wait, what are you doing?
[2:04] Get away from my son, you freak [ __ ]
[2:06] But I'm a 30-year-old man. What if I
[2:08] want to gamble? What if I want to dress
[2:10] up my virtual kill Barbie and spend
[2:12] hundreds of hours playing a game in
[2:13] which I unearth every slur ever
[2:15] invented? You're not my dad. [ __ ] you.
[2:17] You're not my dad. What the [ __ ]
[2:19] Clearly, millions of people choose to
[2:20] play this game every night. But why? Why
[2:24] exactly do you all keep coming back for
[2:26] more and more and more? Is it just the
[2:28] gambling? People played this game before
[2:30] it had the gambling. You know, I make a
[2:32] living out of talking about video games
[2:34] and researching different topics like
[2:36] speedrunning or esports or why my
[2:37] underwear's game design is outdated and
[2:39] I should probably throw them in the
[2:40] trash. I've had them since high school.
[2:41] But what if for once in an attempt to
[2:44] understand something, I actually
[2:46] participated myself? What if I tried to
[2:50] get good at
[2:54] Counterstrike? This is the story of how
[2:56] Counterstrike took over my life.
[3:11] [Music]
[3:22] Source was the first Steam game I ever
[3:24] played after my friend Terry showed me
[3:25] in middle school. I was 12 and I was
[3:28] horrible at it. I didn't know the point
[3:30] was to be planting a bomb or defending.
[3:32] I didn't know how to buy guns. Dude, I
[3:34] don't think I knew if I was in the
[3:35] United States of America. So, I played
[3:38] iceworld deathmatch or office deathmatch
[3:40] or bots on office hostage mode. Look, I
[3:43] don't know why I liked Office so much.
[3:45] Okay, pre-teens, we like cubicles. We
[3:47] feel safe and nurtured in here. But in
[3:49] high school, I began spending a lot of
[3:51] time with my dear dear friend Jake, aka
[3:53] Shig, who is very good at Counter
[3:56] Strike. I'd go over to his house all the
[3:58] time and watch him play Source on this
[4:00] total piece of [ __ ] gateway like
[4:03] all-in-one family PC that probably
[4:05] barely managed 60fps, but he fragged out
[4:08] like that song [ __ ] had a 5090 duct
[4:11] tape to its ass. Jake eventually taught
[4:13] me how to play a bit of CS:GO years
[4:15] later, and it was always a very fun
[4:17] time.
[4:18] Holy [ __ ] I got a kill. Holy [ __ ] I
[4:20] got a kill. All right, watch out, boys.
[4:23] I'm feeling hot. I'm feeling like a hot
[4:24] boy. But CS:GO never fully stuck, and I
[4:27] still much preferred watching versus
[4:30] playing, whether it was Jake grinding
[4:31] away in ranked or occasionally watching
[4:34] esports. I had only dipped a
[4:36] metaphorical toe in the metaphorical
[4:39] pool. But if I was going to really do
[4:40] this and try to get good, I needed a
[4:43] clear goal. Okay, ball boy, do your
[4:46] stuff. Yes, sir. So, Premiere is the
[4:48] primary ranked mode in CS2 and rates a
[4:50] player from 0 to 30,000 points. Jake,
[4:52] aka Master Shig, has reached 23,000 and
[4:55] at one point was ranked 663rd in all of
[4:58] North America. So, needless to say, he
[5:01] is objectively pretty capable at
[5:03] plugging in his computer mouse. So, when
[5:05] I say get good, it's in huge air quotes
[5:08] and is relative as [ __ ] One player will
[5:10] tell you that anyone under 15k is dog
[5:12] stool and another person will say that
[5:14] 5k was a huge achievement for them and
[5:17] both opinions are mine. After observing
[5:20] my abilities over Discord, Master Shig
[5:22] declared that 10K would be an
[5:25] appropriate goal for me. 10K would
[5:26] likely be described by most as you're no
[5:29] longer a pipsqueak and you might know a
[5:30] thing or two, but you still really ain't
[5:33] [ __ ] sort of like an eighth grader at
[5:35] the end of middle school who has no idea
[5:37] how [ __ ] high school is about to be.
[5:39] At this point, however, I was given more
[5:41] of a fourth grader vibe. In order to
[5:43] even get my initial rank, I had to first
[5:46] win 10 placement matches so the game
[5:48] could properly assess my striking
[5:50] abilities. Unfortunately, I didn't
[5:52] record any of these matches, but trust,
[5:54] you don't need to see what happened.
[5:56] Eventually, I received my starting rank
[5:58] of
[5:59] 3,747, essentially making me the LeBron
[6:01] James of sucking ass at Counter-Strike.
[6:03] Only way to go up from here, though, is
[6:05] up, right, chat? Right, Twitch
[6:08] chat? Wait, am I not on Twitch? Who just
[6:11] gave me these 50 gifted subs, then?
[6:14] Where did these come from? Who the [ __ ]
[6:17] are you? Real quick, here's a very brief
[6:19] explanation of Counter-Strike rules for
[6:21] my mom, who also watches my videos.
[6:23] Thank you, mom. Great to have you here.
[6:25] Long time son. First time
[6:28] [Music]
[6:30] uh son. Take it away, Teensy Peeny. Hi
[6:33] everyone. I'm Tinsy Peeny, a fast
[6:35] talking little son [ __ ] who's here to
[6:37] explain stuff. So try and keep up.
[6:39] Counter-Strike is a 5v5 team-based game.
[6:41] Terrorists versus counterterrorists.
[6:42] Terrorists try to plant a bomb at one of
[6:44] two bomb sites. Counterterrorists have
[6:46] to defend those A and B bomb sites and
[6:48] uh defend them. You buy guns and
[6:50] equipment using money gained from the
[6:51] previous round. And if you die, you lose
[6:52] all of that equipment and you have to
[6:54] spectate for the rest of the round.
[6:56] Okay, so Tinsy is like his sidekick. He
[6:59] has a sidekick now. What the [ __ ] This
[7:01] is not in the script. Rounds are won by
[7:03] either killing the entire opposing enemy
[7:04] team, successfully planting and
[7:06] detonating a bomb after a short timer.
[7:07] Or on the CT side, if that bomb gets
[7:09] planted, you diffuse the bomb within
[7:10] that timer, regardless of who is left
[7:12] alive. Win or lose, if you're alive at
[7:13] the end of a round, you get to keep all
[7:14] of your guns and equipment. So sometimes
[7:16] it's worth hiding and just saving if you
[7:17] know you're probably going to lose the
[7:18] round. You switch sides after 12 rounds
[7:20] played and first team to win 13 rounds
[7:22] wins the game. But you have to win by
[7:23] two. So if it gets to 1212, it goes into
[7:25] overtime. So mom, check this out. With
[7:27] CS being a very team oriented game, I
[7:29] would describe the act of solo queuing
[7:31] as a masochistic dice roll sent from
[7:34] hell for demented souls. Luckily, I
[7:36] somehow have friends. This is my Michael
[7:38] aka Goob aka Master Shig's younger
[7:41] brother. He's one of those little
[7:42] bastards that just picks up a game and
[7:44] is immediately good at it and can
[7:45] somehow emote do a douge on your corpse.
[7:48] So, you got Grand Champ 1 and Rocket
[7:50] League. Honestly, [ __ ] both of you and
[7:51] your like gaming dynasty family. And
[7:54] this is my Eric, aka Rick, aka Big Body
[7:57] Operations, who has been a COD demon for
[7:59] eons on controller, but recently built
[8:01] his first gaming PC and has been quickly
[8:04] learning how to hit flicky clicks with
[8:05] his Ricky tips. All right, first Premier
[8:08] game of the season. Let's [ __ ] go. I
[8:10] got my boy Rick. I got Nuke, an
[8:12] excellent map. Probably my favorite map.
[8:13] I cannot wait to start this journey. Two
[8:16] of my teammates immediately start
[8:17] shooting people through the walls while
[8:19] perfectly bee hopping across the map.
[8:21] Welcome to Counter-Strike 2. [ __ ] this
[8:23] kind of feels like a ball moment. Hold
[8:24] on. Prior to starting this journey, I
[8:26] heard tale of how egregious cheating
[8:28] was. But this was the first time I
[8:30] witnessed cheating so blatant it wasn't
[8:32] even up for discussion in my first
[8:35] ranked game. Me and Rick spent most of
[8:37] the game in spawn
[8:39] uh practicing and I tried to conduct an
[8:42] honest interview with the cheaters by
[8:44] simply asking why. Why spend all the
[8:47] money on cheats and prime matchmaking to
[8:49] play Premiere just to risk getting your
[8:52] account banned? There are so many people
[8:53] who use cheats that are way more low-key
[8:55] and harder to detect to further their
[8:57] perceived ability while competing for
[8:59] money or growing their streaming career.
[9:01] Wait, Clara, but this this isn't that.
[9:05] Obviously though, instead of responding
[9:06] to me, they said a bunch of crazy [ __ ]
[9:08] in chat at the opposing team who were
[9:10] obviously pissed off and said a bunch of
[9:11] predictable [ __ ] which was exactly
[9:13] what the cheaters wanted and expected
[9:16] and feed off of. Anyways, we won the
[9:18] game 13 to zero and I ranked up to 4,280
[9:21] after doing absolutely nothing. Yeah. Hi
[9:23] again. So, uh, Premier's ranking system
[9:25] is complete horshit, by the way. Py, I
[9:26] don't know who you are, but I swear to
[9:28] God I have only talked about the first
[9:30] game, so please just let me move on. No,
[9:33] no, this will only take a second.
[9:34] Premier uses an ELO system like chess
[9:35] where a player gains or loses points
[9:37] relative to the ELO of their opponent.
[9:38] So if you play against someone with an
[9:39] ELO higher than you and win, you'll get
[9:40] more points than you would if you played
[9:41] someone with a similar or lower ELO than
[9:43] you. And if you lose against someone
[9:44] with a higher ELO than you, you won't
[9:45] lose as many points because you're kind
[9:46] of expected to lose. That all make
[9:47] sense? No, honestly, who cares? Great,
[9:50] cool, awesome, chill system for chess
[9:52] where it's 1 v one. Counter-Strike is
[9:54] not 1v1. It's 5v5. And last time I
[9:57] checked, the pawn couldn't team kill you
[9:58] and call you a Did you ever consider
[10:00] that vow? So when you queue up, it looks
[10:01] at all the ranks of the other team and
[10:02] then your team and says, "Hey, if you
[10:03] win, you'll get this much and if you
[10:04] lose, you get this much." This gesture
[10:05] makes me feel like I moderate something
[10:06] important. Why would he ever moderate
[10:09] some? What the hell? But say you get
[10:11] into a game and drop 30 kills and play
[10:12] out of your damn mind while your
[10:13] teammates [ __ ] their pants and spawn and
[10:14] do jack diddly squat the whole time.
[10:16] Sorry. Individual performance bears zero
[10:18] weight on this number. And what's really
[10:19] [ __ ] cool is that there's also this
[10:20] whole win loss streak system where if
[10:22] you start winning games in a row, you
[10:23] gain more bonus points that way. And if
[10:24] you start losing games in a row, you
[10:26] gain more bonus points to lose that way.
[10:27] So, I think you can see how this all
[10:29] adds up to kind of make a person want to
[10:31] go baddy, right? Oh my god, Tinsy, just
[10:33] shut the [ __ ] up. And how it can maybe
[10:35] reinforce really toxic behavior that
[10:37] already exists in the community, right?
[10:38] Face it, an alternative matchmaking
[10:40] system actually does put a weight on
[10:41] individual performance where you won't
[10:42] lose as many points if you do really
[10:44] well. But not Premiere, not the stupid
[10:45] [ __ ] I signed up for. I could be playing
[10:47] Tony Hawks Underground right now, but
[10:48] no, I had to choose the slur game. Game
[10:50] two. Okay, Karma kicked in to tip the
[10:52] scales and we got our asses kicked. Me
[10:54] and Rick did better than our teammates,
[10:56] but that's like saying a rat ate trash
[10:57] better than a slightly uglier rat. What
[11:00] the hell is this man? Who is this
[11:01] flashbang even for, Jacob? Holy [ __ ]
[11:04] Game three. The demo file corrupted, but
[11:06] my notes say, quote, "Cookie kept being
[11:08] toxic and was starting to throw, but me
[11:10] and Eric kept it cool and had several
[11:12] clutches. Great teammates, too,
[11:13] especially Brian."
[11:15] So, shout out shout out Brian. Game
[11:18] four, solo queue on Dust 2. Coach Jake
[11:20] watching over Discord. This one started
[11:22] out a little tough, but thanks to Master
[11:24] Shig's tips on simple stuff like not
[11:27] [ __ ] running through fire out long
[11:30] doors while you have the bomb. Jesus
[11:31] Christ, snake boy. We gradually brought
[11:33] it back largely thanks to great
[11:35] teammates who were actually willing to
[11:37] work together. Go
[11:39] on. Oh,
[11:41] counterterrorist.
[11:44] I'm glad we got that. Hey, young cheesy.
[11:47] I got lost in a smoke grenade on a very
[11:50] important round.
[11:51] Oh, I can't I don't hear that. Where am
[11:57] I? I think you're doors now.
[12:01] Oh my god.
[12:06] Yep.
[12:08] Yeah.
[12:16] We got this though. He needs to push
[12:17] long, bro. Yo, push long, Grandma. [ __ ]
[12:20] Push up behind them. They won't see
[12:25] it. Nice. Okay.
[12:28] GG's. Great job bringing it back, gang.
[12:31] It's a pleasure. We successfully secured
[12:33] the W. After the game, Shig coached me
[12:35] on smart grenade usage and helpful
[12:37] specific throws. Let's just say whenever
[12:39] you're falling back long and they're,
[12:41] you know, coming back this way, you
[12:42] could time it to where this flash always
[12:44] works for me. Like let's say this is
[12:46] smoked off, you can even push it because
[12:48] it's really hard to react to. You just
[12:50] bounce it off here and then you go take
[12:53] it like this and they should like I've
[12:54] [ __ ] people so many times. If like
[12:56] you're here and like you know they're
[12:58] coming up like you could hear them
[12:58] coming up, I would just bank it off the
[13:00] wall there. Oh, I didn't even think
[13:02] about banking it. Then they have to back
[13:04] up, you know, and they can hardly cross
[13:06] and it's just easier. They're exposed
[13:08] more that way, too. He also gave me a
[13:09] pro tip on how I should individually
[13:11] hotkey all the nade types instead of
[13:13] slowly cycling through them with four by
[13:15] default, which was weird at first to get
[13:18] used to, but oh my god, it made a world
[13:21] of difference. But most importantly, he
[13:23] taught me to do the Terminator 2 theme
[13:25] whenever I won.
[13:30] Wow, that's a pretty cool sounding song.
[13:32] Good thing he didn't play the actual one
[13:34] though, cuz I would have sued his ass
[13:35] into an early grave. Hi, I'm Jakey.
[13:38] Jakey and Jakey and
[13:41] Teensy. Thanks to Rocket Money for
[13:44] sponsoring this video. My ultimate goal
[13:45] in life is to save up for a a really
[13:47] cool jet ski so I can ride out on the
[13:49] open sea away from all my problems. So,
[13:52] I really want to get on top of all of my
[13:53] expenses. Well, today's sponsor, Rocket
[13:56] Money, is here to help. Rocket Money is
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[14:28] overdrafts and late fees. I also have a
[14:30] billion subscriptions that I have no
[14:32] recollection of ever signing up for that
[14:34] I want to cancel. Who even are you?
[14:36] Cancel. Cancel. Cancel. Get out of my
[14:38] life. Cancel. Once you connect your bank
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[14:41] your subscriptions in a single list.
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[14:53] head to
[14:54] rocketmoney.com/nakyjaky or click the
[14:56] link in the video description. Thanks to
[14:57] Rocket Money for sponsoring this video
[14:59] and thanks to Tinsy Peeny for taking the
[15:01] my throne as the most annoying character
[15:04] in the JCU. Back to you,
[15:06] Jbone. [ __ ] probably wishes
[15:08] people called him Jbone. Loser loser.
[15:10] Game five, I played with Gooby and
[15:12] Ricky. And thanks to Gooby Goat doing
[15:14] the gooby
[15:16] most. Nice. Go. Nice.
[15:29] Come on, big daddy. Big body walnuts
[15:32] playing big body hungry.
[15:35] Last one secret. Oh, just hang back,
[15:37] man. He's got to come to you.
[15:40] Orbeez Savage.
[15:42] My occasional moment of brain activity.
[15:45] One super lit on he's playing right now.
[15:50] And another teammate looking extremely
[15:52] clean.
[15:54] Oh, off the top to a Wow.
[15:57] Wow.
[16:01] We earned a hard fought W. Let's go.
[16:04] That's a GG.
[16:07] All right, dude. I got my promotion game
[16:09] next. Hi again. Okay, so another really
[16:11] cool thing that Counter-Strike does is
[16:13] promo games where if you get to a
[16:15] certain threshold, aka 5, 10, 15k, etc.,
[16:17] you first go to $4,999 and have to win
[16:20] that game in order to rank up.
[16:21] Essentially, at those points, you have
[16:22] to win two games in a row. Game six,
[16:24] promo game for
[16:26] 5K. Not going to lie, chat, we got
[16:28] straight up destroyed by a five stack
[16:29] who were just very clearly better than
[16:31] us. They did super convincing fake
[16:33] pushes into sites that got us all sorts
[16:35] of crossed up. I once again didn't know
[16:37] if I was in the United States of
[16:39] America. We lost five to 13. Game seven
[16:42] with Gooby running it back on Mirage
[16:44] against another five stack with three
[16:46] anime profile picks, four if you count
[16:48] the hedgehog. [ __ ] was looking very iffy
[16:50] at first, but then we decided to become
[16:52] dynasty warriors and lock the [ __ ] in.
[16:56] No, another one. Another one there.
[17:03] Nice.
[17:06] What the [ __ ] How did that not kill?
[17:11] Firebox and Tetris. You may have heard
[17:13] my teammate just call out Tetris, which
[17:14] no doesn't mean we get to go play that
[17:16] game now, unfortunately. He means to say
[17:17] that an enemy is at this spot called
[17:19] Tetris. There's all sorts of call outs
[17:20] for specific places on a Counter-Strike
[17:22] map. Like this is vent. This is bench.
[17:24] This is car even though it's not a car
[17:26] anymore. Uh this is Donkey Kong. You can
[17:28] tell by the
[17:34] barrels better. No, that was great
[17:36] comms. Other teammates also had very
[17:39] good comms this game. Don't be afraid to
[17:41] get them med. They don't really hold it
[17:43] well.
[17:45] To give them what? Head. Give them head.
[17:49] Did you say don't be afraid to give them
[17:50] head?
[17:52] I mean that's I had this nice little
[17:54] moment which was a big deal for me.
[17:56] Planning one apps.
[17:59] That's planner dead. One van, one
[18:02] apps. How's guy
[18:06] apps? Nice shots. Good
[18:09] [ __ ]
[18:12] Beautiful. Amazing. Great times. GG's
[18:14] all around. All right, game eight. Back
[18:16] to the promo for 5K. Let's see what we
[18:18] can do. Me and Goob had this random dude
[18:20] on our team who really loved Goob's
[18:22] name.
[18:23] Wa.
[18:25] Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. W.
[18:31] I like goo.
[18:35] Good work. Where you from? Goo. How did
[18:38] he just say to me? Goomba is from
[18:41] Gubana. It was a really good time
[18:43] giggling with the team, which is really
[18:45] what it should be all about. Should be.
[18:48] But we um also got our asses kicked and
[18:51] 5K eluded me yet again. Nice.
[18:56] Oh, wait. No, not nice. He just got on.
[19:00] He
[19:00] smoked me. GG's. At this point, it was
[19:05] pretty clear which areas of my play
[19:07] needed a lot of work. Yeah, aka
[19:09] everything. Big ass mouse pad and lower
[19:11] sensitivity were crucial tips from
[19:13] Master Shig to really lock in on my
[19:15] accuracy and ability to track targets. I
[19:18] needed to get used to whipping around my
[19:20] entire arm and not just my wrist.
[19:22] Crosshair placement, aka not just aiming
[19:24] at the ground while you're moving
[19:25] around, but instead putting your
[19:26] crosshair at head level at predictable
[19:28] spots where an enemy's head might be on
[19:30] some object permanence [ __ ] Goob showed
[19:32] me some pre-fire workshop maps to help
[19:34] study common spots that enemies might
[19:36] be. So, I started incorporating those
[19:38] into my warm-up routine. Accuracy while
[19:40] you're moving around in CS is generally
[19:42] horrible. Okay, this isn't Call of Duty
[19:44] where even if you're sprinting, you have
[19:46] like laser accuracy. But at the same
[19:48] time, a moving target that's strafing
[19:50] around is much harder to hit. CS objects
[19:52] in motion tend to stay in motion though,
[19:54] so counter strafing is vital. Aka, move
[19:57] one direction, immediately tap the
[20:00] opposite direction to stop moving,
[20:02] shoot, move the other direction,
[20:04] immediately tap the opposite direction
[20:05] to stop. You get the idea. Rinse and
[20:07] repeat. Mix it up. Mix up the timings.
[20:10] Throw in some crouches in there. All of
[20:11] these things were much, much easier said
[20:14] than done and needed a lot of practice,
[20:16] but were clearly imperative in order to
[20:18] start winning more gunfights. Game 10
[20:21] once again with Goo once again a promo
[20:23] match. I really wanted to get past this
[20:25] 5k barrier. I called the save and rush
[20:28] mid and this somehow
[20:36] happened. No, no, another one. Two
[20:39] more. Nice.
[20:45] Holy [ __ ] There's there's an AK you.
[20:48] Yeah.
[20:50] Where should Where should I watch Jake?
[20:52] He could go down suicide. I don't know.
[20:57] Nice job. I hit some solid OP shots.
[21:00] Taking me back to my ice world
[21:02] deathmatch days.
[21:13] Last one on. Jump up.
[21:18] Nice
[21:21] [ __ ] Shampoo my couch.
[21:24] It got really close for a bit, but
[21:27] thanks to Goob and everyone else winning
[21:29] most of their duels, we kind of popped
[21:31] off winning 13-6. Let's [ __ ] go,
[21:35] baby. Nice job, guys. There we [ __ ]
[21:37] go.
[21:39] Yeah. Wow. That solid performances all
[21:41] around. Proud of you, boys. Hell [ __ ]
[21:43] yeah. Good game. 5K, the first major
[21:46] milestone in my journey, was now
[21:48] achieved. Partially thanks to my own
[21:50] inconsistent abilities, but if I'm being
[21:52] honest, mostly thanks to luck of the
[21:54] draw teammates and at times cheaters on
[21:56] my team. So, wow, Premiere, thank you.
[21:58] So cool. To celebrate 5K, I spent real
[22:01] life money on agent skins.
[22:03] Unfortunately, I think it's time to talk
[22:04] about the gambling, you bouncy bastard.
[22:06] All right. Yeah. No, let's let's get
[22:08] into it. On the one hand, cosmetics in
[22:10] video games are usually the biggest
[22:12] motivator for me. I've talked about this
[22:14] before, but I'm someone who when playing
[22:15] Elden Ring is so much more stoked by a
[22:18] new armor set than another [ __ ] spell
[22:20] that's allowing me to minmax my stats.
[22:22] I'm trying to minmax my lats. I'm trying
[22:25] to minmax my lats my latitudes and my
[22:27] latitudes. I'm trying to max I'm trying
[22:29] to
[22:30] maxim Oh my god. I'm trying to maximize
[22:33] my attitude. And it is no different with
[22:36] CS. The amount of style and expression
[22:38] that is possible with the plethora of
[22:40] skin combos, it's insane. I love it.
[22:42] Combine that with all of the sticker
[22:44] crafting, the HUD color, the view model,
[22:46] you can truly personalize this game to
[22:49] feel like it's yours. And I quickly
[22:50] realized that a fully black and white
[22:52] loadout would be possible. So, to help
[22:54] motivate myself on this hell journey, I
[22:56] set certain skins as goals for hitting
[22:59] specific ranks. It felt fun to have like
[23:01] a reward system, even though at the end
[23:02] of the day, it's still just me spending
[23:04] my own money. I wasn't going to get any
[23:06] of these skins by trying to get them
[23:07] through cases with [ __ ] gambling.
[23:10] Hell, I was only going to purchase them
[23:11] directly from other players. But some
[23:13] skins can get crazy expensive. Knives in
[23:16] particular. For example, Master Shig
[23:18] very generously gave me this Bright
[23:20] Water bayonet back in like 2018 that I
[23:22] think was worth like 120,$130, something
[23:24] like that at the time. That knife is now
[23:26] worth like 350 real human dollars. But
[23:29] regardless of the value, most skins are
[23:32] originally sourced by opening cases. And
[23:35] by purchasing them from others, I would
[23:37] still inherently be supporting the
[23:39] ecosystem of opening cases. Is opening a
[23:42] case fun? Do people like watching
[23:44] opening [ __ ] cases? Yes, of course it
[23:47] is. I'm human. I'll admit it. But just
[23:49] like gambling is fun. And just like
[23:51] gambling, when you buy a case, you need
[23:53] to feel very okay that you are saying
[23:55] bye-bye because you are very likely not
[23:57] going to make that back. Why do you
[23:59] think they sell them? To lose money? No.
[24:02] They expect you to keep buying them,
[24:04] which everyone does when you inevitably
[24:06] don't get the exact thing that you
[24:08] wanted. The exciting potential of a
[24:10] 0.21% chance of getting a knife. That's
[24:13] what people make entire careers out of
[24:15] chasing while also spending way more
[24:17] money on cases than they're making back.
[24:19] Even though the sponsored gambling site
[24:20] in their stream likely gave them all the
[24:22] money to blow away in the first place to
[24:23] influence others with way less money to
[24:25] go gamble all their money away, too.
[24:26] Jesus Christ. Good. N, Drew, go watch
[24:29] Drew's video on online gambling. It's
[24:31] very good. I love that sweet, sweet
[24:32] smell of dew on the grass in the
[24:34] morning. Yeah, the game is rated M, but
[24:36] we all know that doesn't mean [ __ ]
[24:37] Grand Theft Auto Vice City was rated M.
[24:39] I played it when I was like 10. And I'm
[24:41] a YouTuber now. That's horrifying. And
[24:43] these cases are such a crystal clear
[24:45] gateway to even more casino-like
[24:47] gambling sites that Valve does very
[24:48] little to shut down, which is a huge
[24:50] focus of the Coffeezilla series I was
[24:52] talking about that coincidentally came
[24:54] out as I was personally going into this
[24:56] whole world myself. In my videos, I feel
[24:58] I often have a pretty clear opinion and
[25:00] like thesis on why I believe something
[25:02] and then I say all this [ __ ] to try
[25:04] to prove that opinion and blah blah
[25:06] blah. This isn't one of those videos. I
[25:09] love cosmetics. I love that I can buy a
[25:12] $5 slate AK and like some 30 cent
[25:14] stickers and make a snake 47 based on a
[25:18] YouTube short I saw. I'm excited to see
[25:19] what other sticker crafts other people
[25:21] do, assuming it's not a [ __ ] slur.
[25:23] But I also didn't want to inadvertently
[25:25] support minors getting addicted to
[25:27] gambling while shooting virtual guns
[25:28] with my friends. If I felt so strongly
[25:30] about all this, should I have just shut
[25:32] the [ __ ] up and stopped using any skins
[25:34] in some hopeless protest? Should I have
[25:36] just stopped playing Counterstrike? Does
[25:38] the video just end right
[25:41] here? No, because I kept going.
[25:46] [Music]
[25:52] Counter-Strike was consuming all hours
[25:54] of my day, even when I wasn't playing
[25:56] it. If I wasn't playing, I was watching.
[25:58] If I wasn't watching, I was learning. If
[26:00] I wasn't learning, I was probably
[26:02] dreaming about snipers. I was glued to
[26:04] my phone, getting super invested in the
[26:06] Shanghai Major, learning more about each
[26:08] team, and witnessing the absolute
[26:09] destruction of players like Donk and
[26:11] Monosy. But there's so many targets, and
[26:14] he can often prove enough on his own.
[26:17] And can this little nuisance pull off an
[26:19] unbelievable clutch to keep his team in
[26:22] it? Yes, he can. These [ __ ] kids,
[26:24] dude. Or I was taking my new puppy Doy
[26:27] out to go potty or Doy helped me find
[26:30] cheap black and white skins.
[26:31] Counter-Strike encounter pee on the
[26:33] floor was basically my entire day. The
[26:35] group chat I started with Shig, Goob,
[26:37] and Rick was constantly active. It felt
[26:39] so fun to have a tight-knit community
[26:41] where we all shared the same goal of
[26:43] improving and would constantly hype each
[26:45] other up. It all felt super motivating
[26:47] to keep going.
[26:53] Boys, I'm not going to lie to you. I am
[26:55] [ __ ] viciously high right now. Nice.
[26:58] This was a very important game to me
[27:00] because it felt like it was the first
[27:01] time where I was actually starting to do
[27:04] things differently, expecting certain
[27:06] angles after practicing pre-fire maps
[27:08] over and over. Nice. Crosshair placement
[27:11] not always being dog
[27:13] [ __ ] Nice. Using utility with some
[27:16] amount of brain cells, I can confidently
[27:18] say that I was improving, if only a
[27:21] little bit.
[27:26] Oh my god, I just [ __ ]
[27:31] came. Ultimately though, it wasn't
[27:33] enough, losing a close game 11 to13. But
[27:36] as Master Shig then told me, ELO may be
[27:39] lost, but knowledge is gained. Shake
[27:42] Scriptures 3:17 Chapter 900 game 14. I
[27:46] solo queued and played very average to
[27:48] my ability with good teammates who were
[27:50] actually very communicative and kind.
[27:52] Yo, Rim, could I get a buy? Yeah, I got
[27:55] you. Thanks, baby. It's easy to assume
[27:58] random teammates will likely be toxic or
[28:00] racist when solo queuing, but I was
[28:02] happy to be proven wrong more and more
[28:04] often as I kept playing. After all,
[28:06] millions of people play this game, and I
[28:08] think the shittiest voices are just
[28:10] often the loudest. I had this one v one
[28:12] bomb plant featuring some super nervous
[28:14] aim.
[28:18] [Music]
[28:21] We're gone. We're gone. We're gone.
[28:36] Terrorists win. I remember having crazy
[28:38] anxiety during this game to the point
[28:40] where my hands felt a little shaky. More
[28:42] like shaky jaky. Hope that's not
[28:45] foreshadowing. We started throwing a
[28:46] pretty significant lead as the game went
[28:48] on.
[28:55] Good shot.
[28:57] But we fortunately got it back together
[28:59] and finished 13- 10. Well done. Good
[29:02] [ __ ] gang.
[29:05] After this game, I flew from New York to
[29:07] Tennessee to stay with my lady, who was
[29:09] still living in Nashville at the time,
[29:10] but I brought my laptop and a monitor to
[29:13] keep the grind going. You could say I
[29:15] was trying to be a Tony Hawk clone for
[29:17] the PS1. Yes, that is a grind session
[29:20] reference in the chat. Game 15, one of
[29:23] the worst ever. We simply couldn't
[29:25] counter their smokes and executes on CT
[29:27] side. I hit a couple doinks with the
[29:30] scout, but honestly, that's the only
[29:32] real highlight. Man, no scope. Teammate
[29:35] went AFK halfway in. What is he doing?
[29:38] Oh, is he not here? I nearly clutched
[29:40] one round.
[29:48] No.
[29:49] Nice. You've But couldn't find the
[29:52] [ __ ] bomb because I have tonka truck
[29:54] brain. Where the [ __ ] was it, dude?
[29:56] Jesus Christ. I suck. I hated every
[29:59] second of this game. We lost one to 13.
[30:03] Game 16 was another struggle. I somehow
[30:06] ended up top damage, but dude, I still
[30:08] did the dumbest [ __ ] Why did I not just
[30:11] play time in this 1v one when I had bomb
[30:13] planted in a spot where I could see it
[30:15] from a safe place? Got to be CT, right?
[30:22] Maybe behind me. [ __ ] a [ __ ]
[30:26] Ah, should have just played the time.
[30:29] Yeah, there's a way better hiding spot I
[30:32] could have been in. That was stupid.
[30:35] My bad. This loss was a new low. It
[30:37] somehow felt different from the others.
[30:39] Like, I knew better at this point and
[30:41] still completely [ __ ] it up. There was
[30:44] zero consistency to my gameplay.
[30:49] Good try, guys. You guys had some good
[30:51] rounds.
[30:53] Yeah.
[30:56] I guess after that game, I flew back to
[30:58] South Dakota for Thanksgiving, but
[31:00] brought my laptop in case I wanted to
[31:02] sneak in a practice session. This was
[31:04] apparently a horrible idea. I tried to
[31:05] play a casual game and quickly got vote
[31:07] kicked for not immediately planting the
[31:14] bomb, which I guess was my bad, but it
[31:17] still didn't feel great. But honestly, I
[31:19] needed to step away for a bit. I had to
[31:21] get my mind off CS and remember the rest
[31:24] of my life existed, too. So, I played
[31:26] other games with my family and helped my
[31:28] nieces and nephew make a zombie movie,
[31:30] which was way more fun because none of
[31:32] them scream slurs at me.
[31:35] No, that's dramatic.
[31:40] Admittedly though, after a few days,
[31:43] brother, I was jonesing pretty hard for
[31:45] some CS. This damn game demands so much
[31:48] of you, but scratches such a specific
[31:50] itch. An itch I didn't really know I
[31:53] had. It was the first time since playing
[31:55] Dark Souls 1 that a game effectively
[31:57] ruined all other games for me at the
[31:59] time. Nothing else was hitting as hard.
[32:02] The snappy animations, the sounds, the
[32:05] fantasy of whipping out the dig, hitting
[32:08] one more headsh shot, and hearing that
[32:09] slide click after a reload. God damn, it
[32:12] all boomeranged in my mind. Valve really
[32:15] got my ass. I wasn't just dipping a toe.
[32:18] My whole ass foot was slipping into that
[32:20] CS pool now. Boy, I came back after
[32:23] Thanksgiving feeling recharged,
[32:24] motivated, and eager to play. Starting
[32:26] with some casual comp games with the
[32:28] boys and girls. Shout out Dean. The
[32:30] thing about CS is that because it
[32:32] requires so much focus and teamwork,
[32:34] every [ __ ] in a casual game is that
[32:36] much funnier. And then Shig drops like
[32:39] 40 kills and everyone thinks he's
[32:40] cheating.
[32:42] Oh. Oh, what the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] was
[32:45] that? Okay, let's play. Let's play,
[32:47] brother. I'm looking at my Instagram.
[32:49] Let's see.
[32:54] Feel like the goddamn Tomb
[32:57] Raider. Let's go. A ramp. A ramp.
[33:04] Yo, look at Shake. Get his foot up for
[33:06] y'all. Oh, everybody.
[33:09] [Music]
[33:15] I got tattoos of shoes on my feet, so I
[33:17] know how to wear shoes. I'm just letting
[33:19] all you guys know. I'm going to hop.
[33:21] Right on. Right on, dude. Just thought
[33:23] I'd kind of let you guys know it's
[33:26] situation. Hold on. Molly [ __ ] Molly
[33:29] [ __ ] up. Double kill. Mommy wants
[33:33] more. Mommy's hungry. That's just the
[33:36] beginning of what mommy can do. So, I'm
[33:38] going to I'm going to throw a frag into
[33:40] this site so I can peek it.
[33:44] Minnesota. I went there once when I was
[33:45] a child cuz my cousins used to live
[33:47] there and uh I was scared I was going to
[33:50] get a swirly.
[33:52] Hold on. I think we do the same thing.
[33:53] Go B and then change our mind and go A.
[33:56] Changing our mind.
[34:01] All right. I changed my mind. Go A.
[34:03] Change my mind. Let's go B. Okay, let's
[34:05] go B.
[34:07] Uh, I don't know. I'm changing my mind.
[34:08] Let's go back A. I'm not feeling it no
[34:10] more. I'm not feeling it. N I didn't
[34:12] shoot you. Lucifer, do I sound like a
[34:14] cougar?
[34:16] That real quick.
[34:18] Get off. Get it off. Get it off. Hey,
[34:22] check this out.
[34:24] I did it before I sprayed it.
[34:27] [Music]
[34:35] Yo, you respected it so much. But you
[34:39] did it. That's the thing. Gooby or goat?
[34:43] Gooby to go. Gooby to go. Goop. Make
[34:47] your famous goat sound.
[34:54] What the?
[34:57] That was definitely a sound. Game 20. I
[35:01] had decent CT side starting off, but
[35:03] T-side is where things really came
[35:05] together
[35:12] [Music]
[35:14] on
[35:17] site. I'm
[35:20] down. I got a shot through the smoke on
[35:23] cat.
[35:31] [Music]
[35:36] I was on site. Likely because of the
[35:38] pre-fire maps, I got accused of cheating
[35:40] for the first time, which Shik said is a
[35:42] right of passage when you start playing
[35:44] well. So, I guess I popped my cheater
[35:47] cherry. I'm really sorry I said that.
[35:49] Please don't clap.
[35:54] Terrorists win. GG's fellas.
[36:00] Game 24 was sent as a trial from the
[36:02] powers above to test my patience. I was
[36:05] somehow always a day late and a bullet
[36:07] short. I had very quickly learned that
[36:09] nothing is free in this abusive game.
[36:12] Nothing. Well, I mean, yeah, unless
[36:13] there's a cheater on your team, unlike
[36:15] other multiplayer games that might say,
[36:16] "You know what? Your bullet was close
[36:18] enough. We'll give you the kill." Oh,
[36:19] you meant to jump up here. Ah, that's
[36:20] okay. We'll give you upies. Oh, you're
[36:21] in last place. Don't worry, we'll rubber
[36:23] band the speed of the other carts for
[36:24] you. Bro, the only rubber band in
[36:25] Counter-Strike is flick directly into
[36:27] your favorite eyeball. SH pointed out
[36:29] that I was often the one trying to call
[36:31] for any kind of strats on T-side. And he
[36:34] was right. Usually out of necessity, I
[36:36] would throw a loose plan out there
[36:37] because no one else was saying anything.
[36:39] And it typically helped to have some
[36:41] sort of unified game plan. Okay, I think
[36:44] we play mad slow. I think we let them
[36:47] use all their util and then creep B.
[36:50] Yeah, man. Just keep playing like that.
[36:52] Just keep uh keep not dying and winning.
[36:54] Exactly. Mhm. Little little trick my
[36:57] father taught me. Yeah. Click on head. I
[37:00] realized though that if I was going to
[37:02] continue being this focal, I should
[37:03] probably know more smoke lineups to
[37:05] assist my hairbrain schemes. So, I
[37:08] watched a bunch of YouTube guides and
[37:10] practiced smoke lineups over and over
[37:12] and over again until I felt like I
[37:13] consistently got them. Mostly for Mirage
[37:16] because it was definitely the map
[37:17] popping up the most. Game 26 on, you
[37:20] guessed it, Mirage. And I immediately
[37:22] got the chance to put these T-side
[37:24] smokes into action. Don't be doodling
[37:26] over there again. What' I say? You
[37:28] doodle. You doodle and you're done. You
[37:31] doodle. It's tooodles, [ __ ]
[37:34] You're not going to believe it. This I
[37:35] might go be this round. But through me,
[37:39] I can smoke window.
[37:43] Smoke that for me, please. Well, I'll
[37:44] try. I'm still I think I got it down.
[37:46] Let me see.
[37:48] I got it down. He [ __ ] it up. Get in
[37:51] that corner, boy. Throw that
[37:55] smoke. Good. Feels good. Did it work? It
[38:00] worked. All right, let's go. B, get him,
[38:03] Julie.
[38:06] On side. On side. On. Let's go. Eric,
[38:10] you are a fiend this game, baby. I don't
[38:12] know what's going on. Okay, now we go B.
[38:15] Someone dropped me a smoke. pack and
[38:16] smoke market and uh kitty cat. What the
[38:21] [ __ ] is kitty cat? Is that me?
[38:26] Hey, little step.
[38:31] Well, I'm dead. The real step is dead.
[38:39] We ended first half 10 to2. So, I guess
[38:42] you could say it went pretty swimmingly.
[38:43] Followed by Nice.
[38:49] Oh my god, the bomb ain't even over
[38:51] here. I spent a lot of time dying with
[38:53] minimal impact, but fortunately, Big
[38:56] Ricky was there to pick up the slack and
[38:58] secure the dub.
[39:01] Counterterrorist, dude, you are having a
[39:03] hell of a game. That was like one of the
[39:06] best games I've seen you play. You had
[39:08] like Yeah, most three kills. You had
[39:11] four 3ks. Oh, it put you at 496. So, you
[39:14] have to win two more. That's so what
[39:17] what followed, however, was the first
[39:18] major loss streak of my journey. A 4-ame
[39:21] slaughter that started at
[39:24] 7,357 and ended at
[39:27] 5,963. Back to Tennessee once again.
[39:30] Game 32. We lost 3 to 13. I was just
[39:34] happy I didn't bottom frag. Game 33.
[39:36] Maybe if your Maybe if your skin didn't
[39:38] have a gay flag on it, we would have
[39:39] won. Just saying.
[39:42] It's just a [ __ ] rainbow, man. It's a
[39:44] gay flag. Two of them. I hate Hello. I
[39:48] present to you the muttor's dilemma.
[39:50] Say, for example, your teammates are
[39:52] saying really homophobic and unfunny
[39:54] racist [ __ ] Well, if you mute someone,
[39:55] it means that they also can't hear,
[39:57] which while that is probably for the
[39:58] best, voicecoms are imperative to
[40:00] winning rounds and can be the crucial
[40:01] difference between life and death. So,
[40:03] therein lies our dilemma. Would you like
[40:05] inner peace or would you like a
[40:07] competitive edge whilst being subjected
[40:09] to heinous
[40:10] chicainery? This time I chose competit I
[40:12] chose edge. This time I unfortunately
[40:14] chose edge. We ended up winning 13 to8
[40:16] but at what cost? Seeing my [ __ ]
[40:19] number go up is unfortunately the goal
[40:21] here, but it brought me back to how I
[40:23] felt when I ranked up because of
[40:25] cheaters that first game. It just
[40:27] doesn't really feel that good. Game 34
[40:30] was the hardest carry in the history of
[40:32] carries. I ended the game with 698
[40:35] damage. I provided close to nothing.
[40:38] Yet, we win 13 to8. And my special
[40:40] number still goes up. Yay. Which brings
[40:42] us to game 35.
[40:45] [Music]
[40:48] Okay. Oh my god. It's going to be one of
[40:50] those. It's going to be one of those
[40:53] counterterrorist. No way. Was that
[40:56] bullies? I thought there was someone in
[40:57] the corner there. No, that's too first,
[41:00] but then I seen him. He was just going
[41:02] through the wall. Honestly though, I
[41:04] always wonder like like why? Like
[41:06] obviously haha trolling griefing and
[41:08] stuff, but it's just like how's it fun,
[41:10] bro? Yeah, this game is the perfect
[41:12] antithesis to getting carried. Losing
[41:15] one to 13 because of two insanely racist
[41:18] cheaters that somehow go undetected.
[41:21] Game 36. The CS [ __ ] pendulum just
[41:24] keeps on swinging though because now I
[41:26] win 13 to2 after getting carried the
[41:28] [ __ ] out of while someone on the other
[41:29] team is AFK most of the time. Like, can
[41:31] I just get one normal match? But big
[41:33] number gets to go up yet again. Yippee.
[41:35] Good for me. Yes, Big Number. I love
[41:36] you Big
[41:38] Number. Game 38. I bottom frag with 799
[41:43] damage. Holy [ __ ] But we win 13 to1.
[41:47] And my special number still goes up like
[41:49] everyone else. Yippee. Big number. I
[41:51] love you. I didn't do [ __ ] Number goes
[41:52] up. Are you seeing how bunk Premiere is
[41:54] yet, Mom? I love you. Thank you for
[41:56] watching. Game 39. Once again, weirdo
[41:59] [ __ ] dude. where someone on the other
[42:00] team disconnects super early on. They
[42:03] actually kept it kind of competitive
[42:04] considering it was a 5v4, but then on
[42:06] T-side, we swept them 11 to 5 until
[42:09] three of them disconnected at the same
[42:12] time to only then return a bit later
[42:14] immediately followed by one getting
[42:16] kicked for not passing the Valve
[42:18] anti-che challenge. Yo, [ __ ] a Mr. Beast
[42:20] challenge. That challenge all day. I
[42:21] wish Bro would pay Valve a billion
[42:22] dollars to permanently ban all cheaters
[42:23] instead of just exploiting and
[42:24] permanently damaging the minds and
[42:26] bodies of our youth. I don't give a
[42:27] [ __ ] I hate YouTube. I hate this. [ __ ]
[42:28] you. I work at Arby's now. I just don't
[42:30] get how this guy gets detected
[42:31] immediately and gets kicked before
[42:32] anything actually happens, but the very
[42:34] iconic racist obvious cheer brothers
[42:36] from earlier just somehow go completely
[42:38] undetected. Whatever. Cute number goes
[42:40] up. Yay. I love you number. Oh, you're
[42:42] so cute. You're growing so close. Game
[42:44] 40. Another weirdo blowout. We win 13
[42:47] to1 largely thanks to Goob. At one
[42:50] point, his voice chat stopped working so
[42:52] I tried to communicate via text
[42:54] horribly. If you can he can hear us.
[42:57] Smoke minister.
[42:59] Michael. Don't say no. No. No. Don't say
[43:01] it at all. Oh no. I meant to do.
[43:06] Dude, honestly, that's some [ __ ] I would
[43:08] have Why did I send it anyway? He's
[43:09] dead.
[43:13] [Music]
[43:17] You said you already dead to the other
[43:19] team.
[43:21] That's actually really funny. still
[43:23] changes the context one v one to vote.
[43:28] I had made it to 8K. But did I really? I
[43:31] had won six games in a row and I think I
[43:34] could have [ __ ] did close my eyes Mr.
[43:37] Beast challenge through all of them and
[43:38] it wouldn't have mattered. Regardless,
[43:40] my 8K goal was to finally sell that
[43:42] bayonet knife I had been sitting on and
[43:44] get the cheapest white snow leopard
[43:46] gloves I could. So that's what I did. an
[43:49] expensive ass reward for my meaningless
[43:51] number achievement where I mostly did
[43:53] nothing. Sure, why not reward myself
[43:54] with my own money for doing practically
[43:56] nothing. It was becoming increasingly
[43:58] obvious just how many games at my skill
[44:00] level were total blowouts. A close
[44:03] competitive game was really rare to
[44:05] find. Game 48, however, was one of those
[44:08] rarities. Let's
[44:13] go. They know you're going to be there.
[44:15] They know that. Flash back.
[44:21] Oh,
[44:23] nice.
[44:25] Let's go.
[44:27] Very clean. Thank you, baby.
[44:31] [Music]
[44:39] It's
[44:41] [Music]
[44:43] just one's cat.
[44:49] One more cat.
[44:50] [Music]
[44:53] Cat.
[44:56] Oh my god. Ah.
[44:59] Oh, just play safe. Catch a cat. Yeah.
[45:01] Don't even peek. Peek.
[45:05] I got to move.
[45:10] [Music]
[45:14] That works.
[45:19] Oh, nice try. I thought I had him. So
[45:23] close bro.
[45:26] One connected.
[45:29] He's on sight.
[45:31] H. Nice. To your left.
[45:36] Triple. Could be anywhere.
[46:06] [Music]
[46:13] Oh, I'm so bad. Damn. Nice try. Nice
[46:16] try. That's just unlucky. Bit more to
[46:18] the right.
[46:19] Ah, he panicked a little there. Mhm.
[46:23] Feels good. No, I did. It's true. Got to
[46:27] get the nerves down. I just couldn't
[46:30] stick the landing. Once again, for what
[46:33] felt like the billionth time, I fumbled
[46:36] under pressure. We did go on to win 13
[46:39] to1, but it did not really feel like a
[46:41] victory because A, we were super carried
[46:44] by this one guy who dropped 3,500
[46:47] damage. Jesus Christ. And B, I couldn't
[46:50] stop thinking about those two clutches I
[46:52] nearly had, specifically the second one
[46:54] where I couldn't track this person even
[46:56] though they're 5 ft in front of my
[46:58] [ __ ] face. But somehow things always
[47:01] found a way to get worse.
[47:03] [Music]
[47:20] Seven losses in a row. My impressive
[47:23] cute new record. I went from
[47:27] 8,269 to
[47:29] 6,97. I thought I had to be improving
[47:33] from playing so much. So why is this
[47:35] stupid number still going down? And then
[47:37] Master Shig told me something that
[47:39] wasn't the immediate solution I wanted,
[47:41] but unfortunately the truth. Yes,
[47:43] Counterstrike isn't chess. Yes, it's a
[47:46] team game, but in order to progress in
[47:48] Premiere, you have to be the carry. You
[47:51] have to be top damage. You need to be
[47:53] the one clutching out rounds and making
[47:55] the difference. Yes, I was slowly
[47:57] improving from all the practice and play
[47:59] time, but I still wasn't having the
[48:01] impact I needed if I wanted to
[48:02] significantly rank up. Unfortunately, I
[48:05] think 6K was the accurate ELO for me. I
[48:08] had to stop blaming factors other than
[48:10] myself. But as the days went on, when it
[48:13] came to my performance, unfortunately, I
[48:16] had very clearly plateaued. Game 64.
[48:19] [ __ ] Okay, this was a great start. Uh,
[48:23] spirits were high and I was playing
[48:25] well. What's good? What's good? Yes.
[48:27] Don't be don't be don't be shy. I have a
[48:30] secret for you, my friend. Okay. I have
[48:33] a secret. Help me.
[48:36] Help me. I tell you, man. You I tell you
[48:38] to help me. You No, I was coming. You
[48:40] were right. You were right. [ __ ] your
[48:42] secret, man. [ __ ] my secret. You were
[48:44] right. Well, I thought you were saying I
[48:45] have a secret. Like you were going to
[48:46] tell me something.
[48:48] [Laughter]
[48:51] What? Bro, I thought you wanted to be
[48:53] friends. Oh, that's so [ __ ] funny,
[48:55] bro.
[48:57] Bro, help me, man. Second time. Oh, stop
[49:02] flanking.
[49:07] You have no
[49:11] Oh. Oh, you got it. You got it.
[49:15] What? What?
[49:18] Save sniping. Same. That guy needs to
[49:21] shut
[49:25] up. Where? Where?
[49:28] [Music]
[49:30] He goes. Diffuse.
[49:33] Diffuse. The bomb.
[49:37] I miss.
[49:40] Good [ __ ] bro. How
[49:46] did the save, but Oh, go for it. You got
[49:57] the Yeah.
[50:04] Oh my god.
[50:06] Three in a row, baby. Dude, what? Bro,
[50:11] wait. There was one more left. Here we
[50:13] go. That's three times. It was one of
[50:15] those games where I was actually having
[50:17] a major impact beyond trying to call a
[50:20] strat or saying dumbass goofy type [ __ ]
[50:22] to my team. But this next bit, uh, dude,
[50:26] it it honestly cringes me out to watch
[50:28] it back. So, usually when I play
[50:29] Premiere, I'm also streaming on Discord
[50:31] to someone like Shig or my brother
[50:32] Isaac, but I'm also using pushto talk
[50:35] and CS for the in-game voice chat. So
[50:38] sometimes when I'm saying stuff or
[50:39] reacting, I'll often hold my push to
[50:41] talk button out of habit.
[50:44] They pass it. Bro, just finish him.
[50:47] Jesus Christ. Jesus. Yeah. The [ __ ]
[50:51] 2v3. They could do this though. We have
[50:52] an AK.
[50:56] [Music]
[50:58] That would look mean.
[51:01] I don't I don't want to troll him. I
[51:03] shouldn't have [ __ ] in game chat
[51:05] that. that like he's done. What did you
[51:07] say in the game? I didn't I just laughed
[51:09] on Mike cuz I was in disbelie like No,
[51:12] he knows. I'm pretty sure he knows. He
[51:14] was like, "Okay, that was terrible."
[51:16] I've done [ __ ] like that, too. It's
[51:18] whatever. We've all We're all learning.
[51:20] He doesn't have a rank. Yes, clearly
[51:22] this guy had a god awful spray in this
[51:24] moment, but 90% of the time I do, too.
[51:28] If I whiffed like this and some dumbass
[51:30] was screeching on the mic, I would
[51:32] definitely mute him. And I assume that's
[51:35] exactly what he did. I did actually
[51:37] continue to play well over on T-side.
[51:48] [Music]
[51:51] You tried to get rid of the bomb and
[51:52] they threw it right back at you, but it
[51:54] worked out.
[52:01] Okay. Oh,
[52:05] burn the body.
[52:08] Hide the sprays. Hide the [ __ ]
[52:10] evidence. Thank you. Close the door.
[52:15] But then this happened. Just go.
[52:20] Damn. Yellow. Come
[52:29] on. Oh, he pushed through. Nice.
[52:33] Yeah, he must have felt like too.
[52:37] Yellow, you have bomb. Come downstairs.
[52:39] Come downstairs. Go down the stairs.
[52:40] Don't peek it. Don't peek it. Oh, just
[52:42] come down. Come down. You have bomb.
[52:45] What are you doing? Yo, where are we
[52:47] planting? Yo, mayonnaise is up top. What
[52:49] are you doing, bro? God, bro,
[52:53] [Music]
[52:54] you should say that to the other team,
[52:56] too.
[52:59] No respect.
[53:02] You have We win that. We We win that.
[53:04] You Oh, yeah. That's so That's just
[53:08] That's just like on purpose being
[53:09] stupid. Like he one shot
[53:12] with bomb. Like what? By yourself. You
[53:15] told him. You told him go down the
[53:18] stairs like immediately. Yellow. If
[53:19] you're going to have bomb, drop it
[53:21] before doing some [ __ ] like that. Maybe
[53:23] he did need you because there's no
[53:26] excuse. Yeah. But if you have there's no
[53:28] excuse if you have [ __ ] bomb. Don't
[53:30] even say it. Yeah, that's Yo, yellow or
[53:32] blue? Could I get a AK?
[53:38] Yellow. Yellow. Yellow. Drop. Drop the
[53:41] AK. Yellow. I think he muted all of us.
[53:44] We will grab your yellow. Can I please
[53:46] have a gun? Jesus Christ. That's my
[53:49] fault. No. He's a [ __ ] dick licker.
[53:53] Oh,
[53:57] J. I don't think I've ever seen you like
[53:59] this. You can hear me try to rationalize
[54:01] all my choices and words and obviously
[54:03] my friends are going to support me. But
[54:05] I knew the truth. I knew how I actually
[54:08] felt in this moment. I was a [ __ ]
[54:10] hypocrite. This whole time I'm over here
[54:12] criticizing toxic teammates that flame
[54:14] you or blame you or just say mean [ __ ]
[54:16] for no reason. But here I was just like
[54:19] Jake said. Yeah, I don't think I've ever
[54:21] seen you this mad, Jakey.
[54:24] I was becoming just like them.
[54:36] Hundreds of hours in, 64 premier games
[54:39] played, and even more comp games with
[54:41] the gang added on top, I had fully
[54:43] become a part of the Counter-Strike
[54:45] community. I had started out pretty
[54:47] level-headed with definitely a kill them
[54:48] with kindness approach when faced with
[54:50] any toxicity, and I often had the
[54:52] surprising pleasure of playing with so
[54:54] many pleasant teammates. contrary to the
[54:57] stereotype. But over time, I case
[55:00] hardened and got way too invested
[55:02] specifically on the value of this cursed
[55:05] number. The next day, I immediately got
[55:07] back into the grind with the boys and it
[55:09] was all too familiar territory. A win, a
[55:13] loss, a win, all games with average to
[55:17] below average impact. a continued
[55:19] capital P plateau followed by another
[55:22] loss and then another loss and then
[55:26] another loss and wow, holy crap, Lois,
[55:29] you guessed it, another loss. Each game
[55:32] somehow uglier than the prior. This loss
[55:34] streak and what preceded had me feeling
[55:36] like I truly had nothing left. And I was
[55:40] right back at 6K. I stopped playing for
[55:42] several days after this. I simply had to
[55:45] for my sanity. I went out, saw friends,
[55:48] saw my friends at their setups. A site
[55:51] that provided a surprisingly stark
[55:54] reminder. Regardless of who your
[55:56] teammate or opponent is, they are also a
[55:59] human sitting at some sort of setup.
[56:02] Maybe it's this one. Maybe it's this
[56:04] one. Maybe it's a Leaprog tablet.
[56:07] Sitting on Rick's couch that evening, we
[56:09] somehow ended up watching I Got Faded
[56:11] First Day Back at School, a video essay
[56:13] on Red Dead 2 by Fulcrum uploaded in
[56:16] 2023. I'm just starting content
[56:19] creation. What would you give like you
[56:21] do things like what would you give if
[56:23] you start over right now? If you
[56:24] starting over, how would you do it?
[56:26] Would you like and how what's your
[56:27] advice, brother? The only moment you
[56:30] fail is when you give up. You feel me?
[56:32] You can't give up. You're going to um
[56:34] take L's. You're going to lose money,
[56:36] but [ __ ] you got to keep pushing like
[56:37] for like what you want to do, bro. Like,
[56:39] it's not going to be easy. It's not
[56:41] going to take place overnight, but just
[56:43] know like the only moment you fail is
[56:45] when you give up. How the [ __ ] did
[56:47] YouTube know this was exactly what I
[56:49] needed to hear. Also, I needed to get
[56:51] absolutely obliviated first day back at
[56:54] school. I desperately needed to switch
[56:56] up my mental game. I simply had to be
[56:59] very okay with the idea of this cursed
[57:02] number potentially dropping all the way
[57:04] back to 3,000 where I started cuz it
[57:07] wouldn't mean I'd stop. ELO may be lost,
[57:10] but experience is gained. Returning to
[57:12] the game days later, playing casual comp
[57:14] games with the lads, something began to
[57:16] snap into focus. When I played comp, I
[57:19] wasn't hyperfocused on the win or loss.
[57:21] I was only focused on achieving moments
[57:23] where I really did something regardless
[57:25] of the end result. These moments,
[57:27] moments often only witnessed by the
[57:30] other nine souls on that server. That is
[57:33] Counterstrike. That was the very simple
[57:36] answer as to why millions log on every
[57:38] night and get the [ __ ] beat out of them
[57:40] again and again and again only to do it
[57:43] the next day. The potential contained in
[57:45] every round for you, your friends, or a
[57:48] complete stranger to witness something
[57:50] incredible regardless of the score line
[57:52] or favorable odds. And also,
[57:55] unfortunately, a lot of people log on
[57:57] just to gamble. Counterstrike was no
[57:59] longer just a goal or a thing for me to
[58:01] beat. It's a brutal highway that never
[58:05] ends. You will never beat this game, but
[58:07] that brutal, unrelenting road contains a
[58:10] beauty I feel eternally grateful to
[58:13] experience with my friends. Regardless
[58:15] of our jobs, our kids, or our zip codes,
[58:19] that road is always going to be there.
[58:21] And thinking of that long road gave me
[58:23] peace because it meant I wasn't in any
[58:26] sort of rush anymore. The problem wasn't
[58:28] the game. Okay, like Premiere is
[58:30] [ __ ] and cheaters are horrible, but
[58:32] barring that stuff, the problem was very
[58:34] clearly me. I was explaining how the
[58:37] journey was going to the mother of my
[58:39] dog and how I was getting increasingly
[58:41] tilted culminating with that moment in
[58:43] game 64. And she summed up my problem
[58:46] perfectly by asking one simple question.
[58:49] Who do you want to be in those moments?
[58:51] It's super easy for everyone to be happy
[58:53] and kind when winning, but when
[58:55] everything goes wrong and you're down,
[58:57] who you are in those moments is what
[58:59] actually makes a difference and takes
[59:01] way more effort. I was determined to
[59:03] love this game even when it didn't love
[59:05] me back. I wasn't beholden to this
[59:07] [ __ ] challenge. The stupid challenge
[59:09] was beholden to me, and I was going to
[59:11] enjoy it. I revamped my warm-up routine
[59:13] by incorporating even more workshop maps
[59:15] like spray training and aim tracking for
[59:17] 20 minutes each every day before even
[59:19] thinking about hopping into deathmatch.
[59:21] My lease was up at the end of the month,
[59:22] so I spent most of January apartment
[59:24] hunting during the day and grinding CS
[59:27] in the evening. The grind session on PS1
[59:29] didn't get any easier, nor did
[59:31] controlling my emotions. But all I could
[59:33] do was put my head down and remain
[59:35] consistent every day. My rank wasn't
[59:37] really improving. I was still often
[59:39] bottom fragging, but man, I was
[59:42] definitely having way more fun.
[59:58] Terrorists win. Yo, good game. Far cry
[60:01] from how I've been doing, man.
[60:08] I don't know
[60:09] how he's
[60:14] terrorist 100.
[60:16] Damn. We take that. Yo, thanks for the
[60:19] hard carry, gang.
[60:24] Cat, one of them.
[60:28] Yep. Cat.
[60:29] [Music]
[60:39] Counter.
[60:41] [Music]
[60:53] Nice.
[60:56] [Music]
[61:00] Nice. Red.
[61:03] Let's [ __ ] go, baby. Let's [ __ ]
[61:05] go. Keeping us keeping us in this. I
[61:08] finally secured a new home for my lady,
[61:10] my dog, and I. But all I managed to
[61:12] secure in CS was a very familiar return
[61:15] to 6K. Well, what are you going to do?
[61:18] Valve, however, decided to hit a lick
[61:20] and announced during this time that
[61:22] after a year and some change, it was
[61:24] finally time for season 1 to receive a
[61:27] sequel. You'll never guess the title.
[61:29] And with this transition, every player
[61:31] would need to once again get 10
[61:33] placement wins in order to receive their
[61:35] rank because of course this is happening
[61:37] right now. Apparently, your previous
[61:38] rank is used as a jumping off point and
[61:40] then the placement games will just go
[61:41] from there depending on your
[61:42] performance. After moving my things in
[61:44] the new apartment and getting a bit
[61:46] settled, I decided it was finally time
[61:49] to go to the microenter in Brooklyn. CS2
[61:51] is unfortunately way more demanding than
[61:53] CS:GO. And while ideally most players
[61:55] would want at least a consistent 120ish
[61:57] FPS, CS2 said, "Fuck your CPU. This game
[62:00] is going to run horribly and fluctuate
[62:02] all over the place." So, I got a 9800
[62:05] X3D and a 5080 and an Xbox made by my
[62:08] nephew and a 3D printed Yoga Ball gamer
[62:10] made by Drew Gooden to power my new
[62:11] workhorse. Between my new home, my new
[62:14] build, and my new mentality, it felt
[62:16] extremely good to be back on the server
[62:19] regardless of the outcome. They're
[62:20] pushing up uh chair side.
[62:29] Down.
[62:35] Here comes CT right now. I just heard
[62:38] one try to jump up window. Be careful.
[62:40] Yep.
[62:49] Oh, he's uh he's like on cat beneath
[62:52] windowish.
[62:54] To the right. To the right. To the
[62:55] right.
[62:59] Go.
[63:01] I think you got it. You got her. Have
[63:03] it. You don't have it. You got it. Let's
[63:06] go, baby. We are so back. I have seen
[63:09] this movie
[63:10] before. Mark it.
[63:17] More market.
[63:22] Bomb has been planted.
[63:26] All right. Yeah. Mark it.
[63:30] He's coming from cat right now.
[63:38] Terrorist save. That was the partial
[63:40] save bro.
[63:42] I On sight. On sight. Open the lock.
[63:49] Below window. Below window.
[63:53] [Music]
[64:03] [ __ ] I should have just played time.
[64:06] Beautiful. Oh my god. Beefy business
[64:09] from beefy business, bro. Come on
[64:13] [Music]
[64:17] now. Uh, one more cat. Bomb down low.
[64:22] That's my cat. Nice.
[64:25] Nice. That was weird. Bomb has planted.
[64:30] I
[64:37] think
[64:39] you're exciting.
[64:43] grenade. Let's go, buddy. Bet they're
[64:46] going to come out. Yep. Nice. Bomb down
[64:49] low. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank
[64:52] you. That's Oh, I think I heard him.
[64:54] Yeah, he's up. Wait, what? I heard him
[64:57] scope in.
[64:59] He in a scope. Running the guitar and
[65:01] watching places.
[65:03] Oh, you like that little doinker right
[65:05] off rip.
[65:08] What? Two doinkers.
[65:11] There he is. Dead as [ __ ] There we are.
[65:16] Two CT
[65:18] one stack. Isaac, you guys.
[65:28] Oh, wait. No, got me.
[65:31] You got to get this head shot.
[65:33] Sh. You don't have a choice. Terrorist.
[65:38] That was entertaining, guys. That was
[65:40] great. Yeah, it was a great game. Game
[65:42] 88. It was clear at this point that I
[65:44] was finally becoming someone who could
[65:47] actually perform under pressure and be
[65:49] the difference maker.
[65:53] Flashbang.
[66:00] Bomb has clean.
[66:04] Nice. Oh Jesus Christ. Lovely work.
[66:11] Let's [ __ ] go, baby.
[66:14] Oh, he's double.
[66:17] [ __ ]
[66:22] nice shot. Heard him reloading and so I
[66:24] was like, I think I could peak this.
[66:27] What?
[66:35] Nice sleep.
[66:40] Get bomb down. Smoke off ramp if you
[66:43] can.
[66:46] Bomb has planted on ramp.
[66:52] [Music]
[66:58] Brand left side.
[67:02] Oh my [ __ ] god. Jakey. Holy [ __ ]
[67:10] Come on.
[67:12] Oh, you are playing out of your [ __ ]
[67:14] mind right now. Hell of a try, dude.
[67:17] Thank you. Terrorist mean your aim. Said
[67:20] it, man. It's feeling crispy. You have
[67:22] taken a step. I'm not just blowing smoke
[67:24] up your ass, dude. Like, thank you, man.
[67:26] You're making me want to play really bad
[67:28] right now. That's the That's the feeling
[67:31] I want to. Very good. We're going to
[67:33] play, Jakey. I was kind of It's just
[67:37] You're like a different player. Like,
[67:39] I'm serious.
[67:42] You looked really good. Thank you, man.
[67:45] We ended up losing 8 to 13, but I
[67:48] honestly felt better after this game
[67:50] than probably any other game I had
[67:52] played prior. To hear Jake confirm that
[67:54] I had truly progressed as a player was
[67:57] worth so much more than any possible
[67:59] win. I don't have any footage of this,
[68:01] but after that game, I went to my
[68:02] kitchen to get a bowl of cereal, and I
[68:05] was so deep in thought thinking about
[68:06] what Jake had said, and I was so stoked
[68:08] that while I was cleaning this glass
[68:10] bowl, absent- mindedly, I like slammed
[68:13] it against the counter, and it broke
[68:15] into a billion tiny pieces and I got
[68:17] cuts all over my hands. I was mostly
[68:19] fine. And I just had to clean up a bunch
[68:21] of glass. But clearly I was locked
[68:26] [Music]
[68:32] in down
[68:36] low. Beautiful.
[68:39] On top of uh
[68:41] Ellis flashing
[68:45] flash caught it.
[68:46] [Music]
[68:54] Oh, got it. Outside. One marshmallow.
[69:02] There's no
[69:11] nice good eye on that bomb. Right out of
[69:14] the range of the [ __ ] flames, bro.
[69:19] [Music]
[69:26] Terrorists.
[69:32] God damn, that felt like I was aimbot.
[69:37] I'm going to
[69:39] rotate. Yeah, cat.
[69:46] [Music]
[69:51] Okay,
[69:55] we can't lose the game of three, bro.
[70:00] I [ __ ] woke up my dog with that one.
[70:02] What the [ __ ] Keep an eye out for a
[70:04] cat.
[70:23] [Music]
[70:29] CT. Nice.
[70:32] [Music]
[70:37] All I needed was one more win. Game 97
[70:40] with Rick and Nathan. I'm going just let
[70:43] this play out for a bit. You guys want
[70:44] to go uh fast then?
[70:48] Yeah.
[70:50] [ __ ] [ __ ]
[70:53] Nice. Good [ __ ] Go down. Go down.
[70:58] Vince,
[71:01] he's lit. Got the guy. Vince one ramp.
[71:04] He's super lit.
[71:06] He's coming down now.
[71:13] Just play safe. No, he's he's a double.
[71:17] Yeah, just sit. I got your cross.
[71:22] Terrorist win.
[71:30] Okay, one more. Hey,
[71:34] straight right there.
[71:37] What the [ __ ] Coming.
[71:39] Terrorist win. [ __ ] Let's do it
[71:42] again. Oh. Oh, [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] Oh,
[71:46] Kenny.
[71:49] One behind. Let's go ramp. Let's go
[71:52] [Music]
[71:58] ramp. I want to ramp.
[72:01] [Music]
[72:07] Counterterrorists win. And uh let's
[72:09] let's go secret. I'll throw a smoke. Or
[72:12] big body, you throw a smoke. You know
[72:13] what to
[72:15] do. Oh. Uh-oh. Did you unplug the
[72:18] router? No, it's out there. Yeah. I
[72:22] haven't been in here.
[72:24] Uhoh. In the kitchen. Oh jeez. Oh, I
[72:26] Okay, I'm I'm back. I'm back. Yo, sorry
[72:28] gang. My internet crapped out. You're
[72:30] good. I was worried. I was having an
[72:32] okay game, providing a big impact at
[72:34] times, even with my random disconnect.
[72:37] But even in moments where I faltered, my
[72:39] teammates were all there to immediately
[72:41] pick up any slack. Especially big body
[72:43] Eric.
[72:51] Nice Eric. Let's go, baby.
[72:56] and mini weak
[73:01] bomb has been planted. Oh, you saw him
[73:02] squeaky. Want you can use that if
[73:04] needed.
[73:07] Counterterrorist. I saw the tip of his
[73:08] barrel, dude. I thought it was tweaked.
[73:10] That's a good call out, bro.
[73:18] Secret, I think.
[73:24] [Music]
[73:30] It's grown so much.
[73:33] Oh,
[73:35] squeaky. Nice. Oh, [ __ ] You have a
[73:39] molly in case he starts diffusing.
[73:43] [Music]
[73:46] Nice
[73:48] terrorist outside.
[73:51] He's weak on top of marshmallow. Nice.
[73:54] [Music]
[73:58] Oh, let's go.
[74:05] I
[74:08] flash to push around.
[74:13] Nice.
[74:14] [Music]
[74:16] I thought he was coming from outside.
[74:18] Sorry. Sorry.
[74:20] Counter win. Nice work. Thank you,
[74:24] Cammy.
[74:26] Oh my god, there's better rush. They're
[74:29] all
[74:31] Yep. One more round.
[74:38] Oh, you're go. Good [ __ ] Good [ __ ]
[74:40] Good [ __ ]
[74:42] Uh, behind you. Where? To the right.
[74:46] [ __ ] Jesus Christ. No, dude. I've been
[74:48] [ __ ] up by that so many times.
[74:55] He ran down.
[74:58] What's CT
[74:59] [Music]
[75:01] spawn?
[75:04] SP might be I might be heaven right
[75:07] [Music]
[75:23] now. He just ran on secret.
[75:33] Got it. Bomb has been planted.
[75:36] Damn.
[75:38] Okay, you got this.
[75:42] You got a kit.
[75:46] You got it. There you go.
[76:06] Ah, nice try, dude. Tried to look up as
[76:08] fast as I could, dude. My heart was
[76:09] beating out of my chest. 97. I probably
[76:12] should have just faked diffuse and
[76:14] immediately looked up. But I'm guessing
[76:16] my thought in the moment was that I
[76:17] didn't know if I had enough time, so I
[76:19] had to just stick it and couldn't make
[76:21] up my mind. I don't know. I was feeling
[76:23] frustrated by this personal mistake
[76:25] because I wanted this win so bad. And
[76:27] now we need to win two in a row to
[76:29] prevent the game from going to overtime.
[76:31] I had to just shake it off and keep
[76:33] going up. I don't know why I held it
[76:37] [Music]
[76:39] for the most part. What's outside?
[76:44] [Music]
[76:57] Marshmallow. [ __ ] Yep.
[77:03] Marshmallow made it sweet.
[77:11] Nice picture. Good [ __ ]
[77:20] They're planning right now. Hey, bomb
[77:22] has planted.
[77:26] Nice. Huge. Nice work. One more right.
[77:32] [Music]
[77:41] He's
[77:42] bent. Nice. Drop down. Drop down. Drop
[77:45] down. Get the
[77:47] diffuse. Nice. That's everyone. Get it.
[77:50] There we go. It worked. Nice. It worked.
[77:53] That was in amazing.
[77:55] Bomb has been diffused.
[77:58] Huge round. My heart rate is still crazy
[78:00] from that previous round, man.
[78:03] Oh, you guys are doing fine now. You
[78:05] still got two kills despite that. What
[78:08] the [ __ ]
[78:19] Nice. Yeah, they are. There we go.
[78:22] Deploying flash.
[78:24] One more out.
[78:27] One was on high. Okay. Pushing behind.
[78:31] That's bomb. That's bomb. Good [ __ ]
[78:35] Let's [ __ ] go. Let's [ __ ] go.
[78:38] Teags, baby. Oh god, my heart rate was
[78:43] crazy on those last rounds. Let's go,
[78:45] bro. I got 10k. What the [ __ ] 10k. What
[78:49] the [ __ ] Wow.
[78:52] Let's go. You deserve it, man.
[78:56] Holy [ __ ] dude. I'm in like near tears
[78:59] disbelief. Of course that was the
[79:02] [ __ ] game we got it. Holy [ __ ] That
[79:05] had to be it, dude. That had to be it.
[79:07] Oh [ __ ] I'm like shaking. So
[79:11] Oh my god, dude. 10.6. Not even 10 flat,
[79:16] bro. Holy [ __ ] dude. And I got the P250
[79:19] sand dude.
[79:22] You perform so well, I think. Holy
[79:25] matches, dude. Like, good [ __ ] bro. I'm
[79:27] glad I got to witness that. I was in
[79:29] disbelief. Honestly, I think I was still
[79:31] recovering from that one round and
[79:33] couldn't even fully process what just
[79:35] happened. Five months of my life and
[79:38] hundreds of hours later, I finally did
[79:41] it. And eventually, I purchased my 10K
[79:44] goal, the knife I dreamt about for my
[79:46] monochrome setup, an urban mast
[79:48] butterfly for
[79:50] $820, which felt insane to actually
[79:53] purchase, but hey, it was part of the
[79:55] plan, right? And for a couple weeks, I
[79:58] continued playing regularly. I even
[80:00] managed to hit 12K in Premiere cuz my
[80:02] performance remained really solid after
[80:04] that game. But at the same time, I
[80:07] couldn't shake this weird hollow
[80:09] feeling. Part of it was, I think, the
[80:12] reality setting in that damn, now I have
[80:14] to actually sort through hundreds of
[80:15] files and figure out how the hell I was
[80:17] going to make this video. But mostly, I
[80:19] think I just actually missed the grind.
[80:22] As brutal as it was, it felt good to
[80:24] have a specific goal to chase every day
[80:26] and consistently work toward that goal.
[80:29] I fantasized about hitting 10K for so
[80:32] long. But as cliche as it sounds, it
[80:35] turned out the journey was far more
[80:37] interesting than the destination. And I
[80:39] didn't want the journey to end. And even
[80:42] though I had wet dreams about this
[80:44] knife, I was having just as meaningful
[80:46] an experience with the vanilla one.
[80:49] Yeah. Woo. Woo! Let's [ __ ] go. So, I
[80:54] sold it and my gloves and most of my
[80:57] inventory. I sold nearly everything
[80:59] except my trusty Snake K47. And then I
[81:02] went back to MicroEnter. For this entire
[81:04] journey, both Big Body Operations Eric
[81:07] and Shig Jake had been streaming on
[81:09] Twitch. But with how demanding CS2 was
[81:12] on Jake's setup, he barely managed 100
[81:15] FPS and it was even worse while
[81:17] streaming. It meant so much to have a
[81:20] coach like Shig, but it means even more
[81:23] to have a friend like
[81:25] Jake. Ah, [ __ ] I knew this part was
[81:29] [Music]
[81:33] coming. The only reason I'm even a part
[81:36] of this Counterstrike world is because
[81:39] of how many hours I've enjoyed watching
[81:41] Jake play CS since the beginning of our
[81:44] friendship, regardless of our zip codes.
[81:48] So, I bought him a new CPU and
[81:50] motherboard and dedicated RAM because
[81:52] now he could maybe actually play Train
[81:54] without the rain effects making his
[81:56] games stutter and run at 70 FPS. He
[81:59] hates playing Train because of it and I
[82:00] always want to play it cuz I like Train.
[82:02] Uh, also shout out the [ __ ] guys at
[82:05] the Brooklyn MicroEnter. They were so
[82:06] sweet. We have MicroEnter in Brooklyn,
[82:08] New York, baby. We got that bundle. Got
[82:10] the best deals. We got that bundle. Best
[82:14] deals. Thank you, Jake. Mhm. Thank you
[82:17] for
[82:18] being able to enjoy a game with a friend
[82:21] felt far more important and rewarding
[82:23] than a fancy virtual knife I could spin
[82:26] around. Not that I didn't like spinning
[82:27] it around. I'm still human. I I love a
[82:29] butterfly knife and I'm sure at some
[82:31] point I'll, you know, I'm I'm not immune
[82:34] to my love for cosmetics. I'm sure I'll
[82:37] buy another knife at some point. Or
[82:38] maybe I won't. I don't know.
[82:40] Counterstrike is truly more than just a
[82:42] game to me at this point. Yes, it's
[82:44] unfortunately also a vehicle for
[82:45] gambling, and I will always feel
[82:47] conflicted about that side. But it is
[82:48] also the primary way I get to spend time
[82:51] and keep in touch with friends I no
[82:53] longer live near, or even the ones I do
[82:55] live near. It's the sport I now
[82:57] primarily watch. It's the hobby that
[83:00] reminds me that I am capable of learning
[83:02] new skills and quite frankly, growing as
[83:05] a person. My journey with CS isn't done.
[83:09] It never will be. And I know 15K is
[83:12] possible, even though I should probably
[83:14] just go play Face It instead. And that's
[83:16] why starting May 30th, I'm gonna start
[83:18] streaming on Twitch again on a regular
[83:20] schedule to grind CS and anything else.
[83:23] I feel like [ __ ] it. We're going to
[83:24] grind. We're going to speedrun grind
[83:26] session. I don't know. I've taken a bit
[83:27] of a break from playing CS while making
[83:30] this longass video, but I do still need
[83:32] to help Rick get to 10K like he did for
[83:35] me. He streams nearly every night at
[83:38] twitch.tv/bigbody operations. Jake
[83:40] occasionally streams as well if his
[83:42] schedule allows and you can find him at
[83:46] twitch.tv/shigcs. Thank you so much for
[83:48] watching my video. I will see you soon.