---
title: 'Why I Don''t Lend Money to Friends or Family — and What to Do Instead'
source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=soVg_4Izg5k'
video_id: 'soVg_4Izg5k'
date: 2026-08-05
duration_sec: 66
---

# Why I Don't Lend Money to Friends or Family — and What to Do Instead

> Source: [Why I Don't Lend Money to Friends or Family — and What to Do Instead](https://youtube.com/watch?v=soVg_4Izg5k)

## Summary

The video discusses the awkwardness and potential relationship damage of lending money to friends and family, and proposes a gift-based alternative.

### Key Points

- **The Problem with Lending to Friends/Family** [00:01] — Lending money to friends or family can create awkwardness and ruin relationships, especially if the borrower doesn't pay back.
- **Personal Anecdote** [00:14] — The speaker feels guilty even following up on small amounts like $20 or $30 for split dinners, illustrating the discomfort.
- **The Gift Solution** [00:26] — Instead of lending the full amount, give a percentage of the requested amount as a gift, with the condition that they never ask for money again.
- **Benefits of the Gift Approach** [00:39] — This approach avoids awkwardness if the money isn't paid back, and is better than saying no (which hurts the relationship) or lending the full amount (which creates the original problem).
- **Call for Audience Input** [01:05] — The speaker asks viewers to share their stance on lending money to friends and family in the comments.

### Conclusion

The video suggests that giving a smaller, conditional gift is a better alternative to lending money to friends or family, as it preserves the relationship and avoids awkwardness.

## Transcript

is to lend it to friends and family. So, let's pretend somebody asks you for $2,000. You might feel obligated to give it to them because of your relationship, doesn't pay you back? It can get really awkward and it can end up ruining the
relationship overall. I already feel guilty enough trying to follow up with people who owe me money for, let's say, a split dinner and that's usually only a $20 or $30 expense. So, the solution I have here is one that my dad taught me,
which is that if you feel a really deep obligation to help your friends and percentage of what they're asking for just as a gift. So, if someone is asking for $2,000 and you're in a position to help, maybe just be like, "Hey, here's
$200, but only if you never ask me for money again." You are still helping and now there's no awkwardness if they never pay you back. Yes, you still had to come than the alternative scenarios. The first is that if you say no, that can
really hurt the other party and the second scenario is that if you say yes and you lend them the full $2,000, then you're stuck in the original situation But, what do you guys think? Do you have the same stance that I do? Let me know
the same stance that I do? Let me know in the comments.