[00:02] Wii with my son. Okay, and she fell in love with this Like fell in love with this thing. Like she was so "Joseph." She was playing all day with my son. She's like, "Joseph." She
[00:16] couldn't wait to tell "Joseph, Joseph, come here." That's how my mom points. She said it's circle, pull back, and then hit. I swear. "Joseph, come come here." "Come come come here."
[00:31] "Come here. You here." "Joseph." "Um I was playing I was playing um"
[00:43] "that video game." My mom will never remember what that that thing's called. It's called a Wii. You know how easy Wii is? My mom will remember all the other big words to describe it except for Wii. And it's
[00:58] like an hour of her just "Joseph, I was playing with your son um the the the video game." "That uh that's wow. What I forget that I forget what it's called the video game where you play the games. It's uh
[01:14] where you play the games. It's uh manufactured by Nintendo."
[01:28] that game." "It is so much fun, Joseph. It is really good. It's you interact with it and it really gets my heart going. I get very
[01:40] really gets my heart going. I get very good exercise from it." "I really enjoy I said, "Well, Mom, let's get one for you." "Oh my god, I would like that a lot." So, she got one. We got her one, right?
[01:53] So, I go visit her. I just visit her. I I just discovered my mom is a [\h__\h] talker. A [\h__\h] talker, like a person that talks A [\h__\h] talker, like a person that talks [\h__\h] I had no idea my mom was capable
[02:07] of doing this. We're playing First of all, I just go to visit her. Okay, she's got the Wii. Okay. This is like a month later after she bought it. And we're sitting on the couch. It's 11:00 at night. There's nothing on. And my you
[02:19] sitting there. And she's like, "Joseph." Yeah. She's like, "Um
[02:31] do you want to uh challenge me to a game of Wii?"
[02:50] She's like, "Oh, okay. This is going to be fun." So, she gets up and she puts the game in in the console, right? And And she
[03:02] only has one game. It's Wii Sports. It's the one that it came with, the free Right? So, she puts it in there and she closes it, right? And then And then she does it. She goes, "Joseph, uh go ahead and pick one of your games.
[03:17] go ahead and pick one of your games. What sport do you want to play?" I don't know, bowling. She's like, "Oh, that's my favorite."
[03:34] a Wii, you can make your own character. She's made a character. She's made a character. And this character looks just like her. It's got She's got short black hair, glasses, a red turtleneck, a [\h__\h]
[03:47] glasses, a red turtleneck, a [\h__\h] mole. I go, "Really?" She goes, "Yeah." And I pick it I pick Joe and it's just a bald [\h__\h] guy. She goes, "Haha, it looks just like
[04:02] She goes, "Haha, it looks just like you." And she's looking at the screen. She lines up like this. She's lining up.
[04:16] Like she's got like she's lining up like this looking at the TV. like this. Bow. And she releases the ball. She She would And she hits it like this. She goes, "Bow."
[04:32] Perfect right-to-left hook. Boom. Strike. My mom goes, "God damn it." "God damn it." "God darn."
[04:53] played in a while. I throw it like this. The ball flies up in the air. Hits the lane. Goes in the gutter. My mom goes, "Oh my god, Joseph." >> [laughter] >> "Are you retarded?"
[05:15] pick up like six. Right? Now it's my mom's turn again. Right? Now she's standing like this.
[05:28] >> [laughter] >> She's pretending there's an air vent. My mom really thinks she's in this [\h__\h] bowling alley.
[05:46] And she lines up. She walks towards the screen like this. Perfect right to left hook again. Bam, strike. She claps her hand, powder. What strike. She claps her hand, powder. What the [\h__\h] Where did THAT COME FROM?
[06:07] >> MY MOM GOES, JOSEPH, just choose another game. My average is 245. You have six. >> [laughter] >> Let's reset. Let's start all over again. Choose another game.
[06:22] So, I'm like, all right. I was like, I think to myself, tennis. tennis. I can outrun this 63-year-old [\h__\h] talker.
[06:34] Tennis. That's what I go. Mom, tennis. She goes, that's my second favorite. Now my mom's dribbling the ball like this.
[06:54] [applause] >> She serves it. Boom. She hits the serve. ball. I swing at it. I miss. I go, what the I swing at it. I miss. I go, what the hell was that? She goes, that's an ace.
[07:12] Read the manual. >> [cheering] BAM. SHE HITS IT BACK. NO WAY. I GO, oh yeah. She goes, oh no way, Joseph. I go, oh yes, Mom. She goes, get that one. I GO, I GOT IT. AND SHE GOES, GET THIS
[07:27] ONE. I GO, I GOT IT. AND I GO, BOOM. AND I HIT IT AGAIN. And then my mom goes, Joseph. I go, what? She goes, slice. She says, slice. The ball barely goes the TV. >> [laughter]
[07:43] >> I dived, the ball flies up in the air. My mom goes, "JOSEPH, GAME OVER." My mom goes, "JOSEPH, GAME OVER." >> [applause and cheering] thank you for watching the videos, but uh who am I doing it with? It's me, it's
[08:00] Jo Koy. I mask of me. Who doesn't have a mask of themselves? Right? Everyone does. Anyways, subscribe. Subscribe now. And you know what? You
[08:13] here. And more pictures of me with a mask on, without clothes. Wouldn't you want to see that? I would. I know this is weird for me to even say, but my son doesn't know what
[08:27] rice is the way I knew rice. Rice was [\h__\h] everything to me. Rice was breakfast, rice was lunch, rice for dinner. there going, "Oh, Filipinos eat breakfast?" Yes, we do. It's It's just
[08:41] last night's dinner with an egg. That's all the That's all that is. That's all we ate was rice. That's the key to an Asian household,
[08:56] That [\h__\h] is always cooking. There's always a pot of rice cooking. The rice cooker's always on. You can get locked in an Asian person's house and all the lights are up. You can find the kitchen.
[09:10] light. And there's the [\h__\h] rice right there. other day. I go, "Jo, go go grab a bag of rice." He ran down a couple aisles,
[09:25] ass bag of rice. It's in his hand like that. And even he was supposed to get, I started reflecting back to when I was his age. The bag of rice I had to get was the size of this [\h__\h] stool.
[09:45] had to drag that [\h__\h] back to my mom. >> [laughter] with Chinese writing on the front. It said 50 lb at the bottom of it.
[09:59] My mom would sit that in the back of the kitchen next to the trash can. Top just ripped open. Inside that bag was a coffee mug with a broken handle. She called that a measuring cup.
[10:19] you how to make rice and this is the only time I'm going to teach you. How do I do it? You take a couple scoops of rice, Joseph. Put it in the pot. Put water in the pot. Squish it around.
[10:35] Clean the rice like that. If the water's cloudy, the rice is dirty. Pour that Put more water in there. Squish it around. If the water is still cloudy, the rice is dirty. Pour that water out.
[10:48] Continue the process, Joseph, until the water is clear. When the water is clear, add water. It's ready to cook. Well, then how much water do I add? Just fill it to this line right here, Joseph.
[11:11] I want the world to know that right now. I want the world to know that right now. This is an ancient [\h__\h] secret. this is how you do it. You don't need a measuring cup and you don't need a
[11:24] [\h__\h] rice cooker. All you need is rice, a pot, and this [\h__\h] line right rice, a pot, and this [\h__\h] line right here.