[0:00] mr. Rogers nice haircut looking
[0:03] extremely dilthey today as our geo hello
[0:08] so cards in the table I have never read
[0:12] an Archie comic the perspective you're
[0:14] getting from this video is from someone
[0:15] who can't judge the show as an
[0:17] adaptation because I'm meeting the
[0:18] characters for the first time what I
[0:20] have absorbed through social osmosis as
[0:23] there is a blonde and a brunette
[0:24] fighting over a redheaded boy he's
[0:27] probably named Archie and there's
[0:29] another guy in there somewhere who eats
[0:31] a lot of hamburgers and wears a crown
[0:34] yeah that's all I got so let's watch
[0:37] Riverdale originally airing on the CW it
[0:40] started in 2017 and has nearly four
[0:42] seasons completed as I write this I sure
[0:45] hope nothing important happens in season
[0:47] four so I don't regret making this video
[0:48] so soon maybe all the characters will
[0:50] just chill out all season long and take
[0:52] naps and little people pile oh boy there
[0:57] is something in Riverdale that feels
[0:58] very genuine and sweet but how is a show
[1:01] so self-aware that in the first episode
[1:03] it'll point out the one of its
[1:04] characters fits the gay best friend
[1:06] trope to a tee it's real eating still a
[1:08] thing
[1:09] it's being the gay best friend still a
[1:10] thing
[1:14] but not self-aware enough to realize
[1:16] that it's not really funny to point out
[1:18] that he's a cliche in the episode you
[1:20] introduced him because you're the reason
[1:22] he's a cliche
[1:23] you know before I even saw Riverdale
[1:26] YouTube really wanted me to watch all
[1:27] these videos titled things like
[1:29] Riverdale's writing is cringe for 10,000
[1:32] minutes there are just so many of these
[1:34] videos our family will eat like kings
[1:36] all winter this provides me with a
[1:38] question I want to answer why is
[1:41] Riverdale's writing so cringy the first
[1:46] reoccurring thing that jumps out to me
[1:47] about Riverdale is the show keeps
[1:49] running up to me and telling on itself
[1:51] four things it doesn't want to fix check
[1:54] yourself I'd date ladies fo lesbian
[1:56] kissing hasn't been taboo since 1994 but
[2:00] to me there's nothing more amateur than
[2:02] age-inappropriate casting don't worry
[2:04] you may be a stock character from the
[2:05] nineties teen movie but I'm not our show
[2:09] is insecure it needs a hug it wants some
[2:12] hot chocolate it needs a little bit of a
[2:14] pep talk to stop this analysis from
[2:16] getting to blood for the blood god I'm
[2:18] gonna try to go out of my way to praise
[2:20] the show and I think it's done something
[2:22] right for example I like jugheads crown
[2:25] beanie I think it's a clever translation
[2:27] of the comic book characters crown it's
[2:29] unique but not distracting to me and it
[2:31] helps the poorly maintained illusion
[2:32] that the character has a limited
[2:34] wardrobe because he's poor some folks
[2:36] who grew up with this character might
[2:37] hate that he looks like a moody hipster
[2:39] but I'll accept the miz' Mele hipster
[2:41] because I don't know them however the
[2:43] people working on the show think
[2:44] jugheads hat is stupid how do I know
[2:47] that well I could tell you it's because
[2:49] I've watched a lot of interviews but
[2:51] mostly I know that because they told me
[2:53] using Jughead in case you haven't
[2:55] noticed I'm weird I'm a weirdo I don't
[3:00] fit in and I don't want to fit in
[3:03] have you ever seen me without this
[3:05] stupid hat on that's weird it's like
[3:07] watching a ventriloquist who's not even
[3:09] trying to hide the fact that they're the
[3:10] one talking in the compilations of
[3:12] Riverdale's worst lines this clip always
[3:15] shows up in there somewhere there is
[3:17] something so deeply uncomfortable about
[3:19] him talking about his hat like he's the
[3:21] Phantom of the Opera so if you don't
[3:23] know Jughead wears this hat because the
[3:25] character he's based off of wears a
[3:27] crown the character talks as if he's not
[3:30] in control of whether or not he wears
[3:31] the Hat every day and in a way he's not
[3:33] Jughead Jones wears the crown because
[3:35] he's Jughead Jones but the fun of
[3:38] fiction is getting us to believe that
[3:39] the fake people are alive that they've
[3:41] lived a life that started before the
[3:43] events of the story and that they make
[3:44] choices big and small on their own let's
[3:48] take a similar thing jugheads name is
[3:50] kind of silly and the show can't change
[3:52] his name because he's an iconic comic
[3:54] book character when sheriff Keller asked
[3:56] Jughead if he's ever been bullied he
[3:57] goes yeah
[3:58] my name is Jughead and that comes off as
[4:00] a real reaction as someone who had to
[4:02] walk into kindergarten with that name
[4:04] the trouble is the Hat is treated the
[4:06] same as his name as an inherited problem
[4:08] from the source material an
[4:09] aesthetically unpleasant thing they
[4:11] can't get rid of in the real world these
[4:13] two things are the same problem but in
[4:15] the fictional world they're not the
[4:17] character didn't pick his name but he
[4:19] chooses to wear the hat every day the
[4:21] crown beanie could be a gift from
[4:22] someone special like Arnold from hey
[4:24] Arnold's little blue hat or maybe it's
[4:26] just that something about the symbolism
[4:27] appeals to him thus why when he tags his
[4:30] name on a building he takes the time to
[4:31] include a crown
[4:32] maybe he's declared himself king as a
[4:34] way of saying he has value or control
[4:36] over his life but that's just a bunch of
[4:38] stuff I just made up absolutely none of
[4:40] it is necessary because it's a gray
[4:42] beanie with a unique rim look I promise
[4:45] I promise I promise I promise at
[4:47] absolute worst
[4:48] it's a questionable fashion choice being
[4:50] made by a high schooler just chill out
[4:52] think happy thoughts okay hot chocolate
[4:55] big fluffy blankets little mittens for
[4:57] fuzzy kittens because of the patrons we
[5:00] got a higher quality mic we can do ASMR
[5:02] now I'm going to speak in a low voice in
[5:05] crumpled paper
[5:06] I believe in you you should have more
[5:11] confidence in your decisions realize I
[5:18] need to dissect the scripts a little
[5:20] more name I know you do what you like
[5:22] this you go [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]
[5:23] my line out of the office one thing that
[5:35] would demolish most of these cringe
[5:36] writing lists is if the characters stop
[5:38] talking the way people tweet semi
[5:40] ironically Veronica Kevin and Sheryl are
[5:42] the biggest defenders because Veronica
[5:44] and Sheryl are so important to season
[5:46] one you may switch from Veronica
[5:48] focusing to a Cheryl focusing and since
[5:50] both characters are talking like this it
[5:52] feels like it's everyone even though
[5:55] it's technically just these three people
[5:57] and then there are the references they
[5:59] come in two types dialogue and in
[6:01] visuals Riverdale's use of visual
[6:03] references is fine a lot of them are
[6:05] really cool I like in this intense
[6:07] moment where the stovetop popcorn is
[6:08] about to explode like and scream I love
[6:11] how the license plate on this car that
[6:13] they push into the marsh is the same as
[6:14] the one from Hitchcock's Psycho some of
[6:17] them can be actually smart and adds
[6:19] something like miss Grundy is always
[6:21] looking over her heart-shaped sunglasses
[6:23] like Dolores from Lolita but miss Grundy
[6:25] is in a victim like Dolores she's a
[6:27] predator like Humbert Humbert
[6:29] get it that's kind of cool other times
[6:32] they can be a little ham-fisted like
[6:34] Betty's dead slowly turning into
[6:36] Hannibal Lecter once he's in prison but
[6:38] what's really getting me down is
[6:39] Riverdale's use of references in
[6:41] dialogue it made me realize how annoying
[6:44] references can be when not specific or
[6:46] targeted enough it is not funny to
[6:48] acknowledge the existence of other
[6:50] things on its own if Jughead a guy who
[6:53] lived and worked at the drive-in that
[6:55] mainly plays old movies compulsively
[6:57] reference those movies this would be
[6:59] fine even if the jokes fell flat it
[7:02] would still feel like the character
[7:03] failing to be funny or if Veronica and
[7:06] her mom Hermione did it that would mean
[7:08] two people were doing it but you could
[7:09] argue Veronica learned the habit from
[7:11] her mom instead it's everyone every
[7:14] episode people in the inner circle
[7:15] people outside the inner circle their
[7:17] parents their foes almost
[7:18] everyone has the same way of spouting
[7:21] references and the teens rarely
[7:23] reference anything from after the 2000s
[7:25] we get like a shrek and Suicide Squad
[7:28] reference what was the like Suicide
[7:30] Squad and all this time I thought you
[7:33] were a lover not a fighter
[7:37] I've got layers there might be a
[7:40] character in your story who's a bit of a
[7:42] film buff who enjoys making obscure
[7:44] references so no one specifically in the
[7:46] room seemingly just to enjoy the sound
[7:48] of their own voice but without a setting
[7:51] that warrants it like all the characters
[7:52] are film students it might start to feel
[7:54] unnatural and alienating can I suggest
[7:57] if you love putting references in your
[7:59] fictional narratives try to establish in
[8:01] your mind what a character's interests
[8:03] are once you know that make sure the
[8:05] references come from their specific pool
[8:07] of knowledge try to consider the
[8:09] characters age in how they grew up then
[8:11] decide how up-to-date they are with pop
[8:13] culture or how much knowledge they would
[8:14] have of things before their time my
[8:16] brain is so desperate to make the
[8:18] references mean something that the most
[8:20] suspense I ever felt watching this show
[8:23] was when Betty and Veronica were forced
[8:25] to drink slow-acting poison but you know
[8:27] not for the reasons they wanted me to so
[8:29] this was a part of a series of trials
[8:31] from Simbi baddies and they can't get
[8:33] the antidote until they pass all the
[8:35] trials the episode goes on for a little
[8:37] while and then Veronica and Archie kiss
[8:39] and I'm like wait is that gonna get him
[8:42] sick then a while later Betty kisses
[8:45] Jughead and I remembered that the first
[8:47] scene where Betty and Jughead kissed
[8:49] Jughead enters the room referencing
[8:51] Romeo and Juliet and I'm like oh the
[8:57] poisons gonna get transferred from the
[8:58] kiss and they're not gonna have another
[8:59] antidote for the boys oh no and I just
[9:03] made that up that's not what happened
[9:04] Chekhov's gun be damned - silly me for
[9:07] bothering to remember something
[9:09] so the references aren't just jarring I
[9:12] have ziplock ties less disposable than
[9:15] these references they're not
[9:16] foreshadowing they're not thematically
[9:18] important they confuse the setting
[9:20] they're never important to
[9:21] characterization they simply never
[9:23] matter their little black holes in the
[9:26] dialogue it's so great in life what
[9:28] answers are straightforward just stop
[9:30] just stop doing it here's a list of
[9:31] things you should be doing
[9:32] oh look at that doing the references
[9:34] isn't on there I would say that Betty
[9:36] and Veronica have already been adults
[9:38] you run a business living yeah Betty go
[9:41] does her own thing but also Jughead does
[9:45] too aren't you kind of need some
[9:46] guidance but she and Sheryl are still
[9:48] teenagers but if you sat down and
[9:51] watched any one episode of Riverdale you
[9:53] would probably find Archie Andrews to be
[9:55] extremely inoffensive as a character the
[9:57] show works hard to sell you on the idea
[9:59] that he's very sweet and well-meaning
[10:01] everybody talks Archie up as if you were
[10:03] the perfect precious puppy like pal and
[10:06] you know what I'm sold Archie is a
[10:08] cinnamon roll he's as pure as the driven
[10:11] snow I want you to imagine a version of
[10:22] Breaking Bad where at the end of every
[10:23] season and occasionally halfway through
[10:25] a season Walter White has an epiphany
[10:28] that he's being a naughty boy and so his
[10:31] personality almost successfully resets
[10:33] to the harmless chemistry teacher he was
[10:35] in episode 1 but the stakes and level of
[10:38] danger he's in continue to climb at the
[10:41] same rate it was before this is for the
[10:43] most part what Archie Andrews is like he
[10:46] never learns his lesson and something
[10:48] about it feels so accidental I've seen
[10:50] critics talk about poorly written
[10:52] geniuses and I realize now that there is
[10:54] such a thing as poorly written naivete
[10:57] Archie has a terminal case of
[10:59] protagonist boy syndrome despite the
[11:01] fact that he's not the main character
[11:02] anymore I should know I'm just assuming
[11:05] he was sometimes the main character
[11:06] because the comic was named after him
[11:08] Archie is underdeveloped compared to his
[11:11] friends Betty Veronica and Jughead have
[11:13] their own deep conflicts and themes that
[11:15] continue to come up every season but I'm
[11:17] not sure what Archie's conflict is the
[11:20] one that reoccurred every season is that
[11:22] he isn't sure what he wants to do for
[11:23] work after high school which is more
[11:25] realistic for his he n'ajjer however
[11:27] it's not Veronica or Jughead trying to
[11:29] survive their crime entangled families
[11:31] or Betty wrestling with the fact that
[11:33] she might become dangerous to other
[11:35] people if the world keeps pushing her it
[11:37] puts Archie mentally in another world
[11:39] away from his friends
[11:40] Archie continues to dip his toes into
[11:42] the water of being a bad person however
[11:44] unlike
[11:45] the show seems unwilling to treat Archie
[11:47] as creepy instead it always forces his
[11:50] hand in the name of self-defense I'm one
[11:53] of those Riverdale fans who's really
[11:54] said the main for spend so much time
[11:56] apart but you know Betty doing private
[11:58] sleuthing isn't that bad
[12:00] Archie on the other hand really can't
[12:03] carry a subplot by himself I think they
[12:05] need to stop sending Archie on these
[12:07] protagonists boy side plots where he's
[12:09] ten thousand miles away from his friends
[12:11] getting shivved in prison or fighting
[12:13] off bears however if the show is
[12:15] revamped - Archie fighting off bears in
[12:17] prison that would be a different story
[12:19] if the show carries on how it's been
[12:22] carrying on everyone's just gonna keep
[12:24] snickering about the latest Archie
[12:26] misadventure because they can't believe
[12:27] this dude who keeps repeating the same
[12:29] mistakes is still alive he's
[12:32] accidentally messing with the tone it
[12:33] either makes his friends look silly and
[12:35] dramatic or it makes him look like he
[12:37] has no real problems like it just looks
[12:40] goofy if next season Veronica's dodging
[12:43] bullets in Jughead and Betty are hiding
[12:44] dead bodies in the woods and where's
[12:46] Archie oh he's in his room scrolling
[12:49] around college bored like well I thought
[12:50] school wasn't for me but maybe I want to
[12:53] be a dentist and then the plot kicks
[12:55] down his door and is like hey kid
[12:56] Iram wants to murder you again you know
[12:59] he's the one from a stable background to
[13:01] me they should let Archie be the
[13:03] wholesome foundation for his friends to
[13:05] come together that he was always meant
[13:08] to be sometimes I think I understand
[13:10] what they're going for with him he's
[13:12] like the human version of pops chocolate
[13:14] shop he represents the sweeter side of
[13:16] the show and he has to do battle with
[13:17] the dark side but like I don't know how
[13:19] to break it to the show that Archie
[13:21] Andrews is not the leader and the center
[13:23] of the universe he's just the tallest
[13:25] boy what he actually is to me is support
[13:28] he's the friend everybody loves he's the
[13:31] tank okay let him be the tank he's good
[13:34] at it I don't think he's a bad character
[13:36] I think he's being misused and his time
[13:38] is being wasted my favorite Archie
[13:40] moment is when he is punching through a
[13:42] river of ice to save a friend and his
[13:44] hands are bleeding and he just keeps
[13:46] punching as Veronica Betty and Jughead
[13:48] watch in horror and the reason I love
[13:50] this is because his friends are
[13:52] calculating their schemers they're
[13:53] cautious they don't know what to do but
[13:55] Archie knows and maybe the
[13:57] smarter answer but he just goes for it
[13:59] because there's no time Archie is direct
[14:02] and the fact that he takes the straight
[14:03] path and the obvious answer is valuable
[14:06] and can save them hip Riverdale's main
[14:08] characters have been accused of being
[14:09] archetypical you better believe it's
[14:11] side characters are softcore doomed
[14:14] despite being marketed as a show for
[14:15] teens Riverdale is drowning and
[14:17] contracting and gentrification drama and
[14:19] just general drama from the adults the
[14:22] show refuses to have an actual teen
[14:24] antagonist and so a big deal criminal
[14:26] like Hiram Lodge gets to look real silly
[14:29] as he chases down some high school
[14:31] sophomores and let us not forget Alice
[14:33] Cooper who changes personalities more
[14:35] often than her husband changes eye
[14:37] colors then there is one of my personal
[14:39] favorites Cheryl blossom who has this
[14:41] forced mean-girl personality that is
[14:43] paradoxically well not forced the mask
[14:47] never slips this is just who she is
[14:49] she's the realest fakest Mean Girl it's
[14:52] like the feeling you get when you walk
[14:53] too close to a visual illusion and it
[14:56] stops working hey I can't see the boat
[14:58] anymore and my eyes hurt I have a strong
[15:00] belief that no one has figured out what
[15:02] to do with Cheryl after season one with
[15:04] the case of her murdered twin brother
[15:06] they solved it but now you're left with
[15:08] someone without a strong motivation
[15:10] where nothing else has ever stepped up
[15:12] but I'm mostly just crossing my fingers
[15:14] that the thing with Jason blossom stays
[15:16] dead done and buried okay well they
[15:18] unburied him but he's still dead and
[15:19] done you know two out of three ain't bad
[15:21] anyway for whatever reason Cheryl is
[15:24] strictly prohibited from ever breaking
[15:26] original characterization new things
[15:28] happen to her and she reacts to them as
[15:30] they come but they have no effect on her
[15:32] like the way her brother's death did and
[15:34] this is a problem because her brother's
[15:35] death was the first thing that ever
[15:37] happened in the story if you're watching
[15:39] the show and trying to take it seriously
[15:41] Cheryl is your worst nightmare if you're
[15:43] watching this show with friends as
[15:45] something to laugh at Cheryl is a
[15:46] beautiful goddess providing you with a
[15:48] bountiful harvest of cringy quotes the
[15:50] best thing that ever happened to Cheryl
[15:52] is her relationship with Tony because if
[15:54] Veronica or whoever comes up to them
[15:56] before Cheryl can open her mouth Tony
[15:58] could just be like whoa real character
[16:00] here to translate and you know what I
[16:02] like that when Tony is sad because she
[16:04] misses the serpent's Cheryl just goes
[16:06] out on a mission and returns like so I
[16:08] bought you a girl gang we
[16:10] can teach them archery in my yard and
[16:12] become plot relevant someday do you love
[16:14] it say you love it there is this almost
[16:16] patronizing and possessive edge to their
[16:19] relationship that is openly acknowledged
[16:21] and criticized by Tony without the
[16:22] wheels completely falling off the wagon
[16:24] so yeah I'm a fan
[16:26] however the oddest and most admire all
[16:28] thing about Cheryl is how she just
[16:29] demands to be an important member of the
[16:32] cast despite how little she has to
[16:34] contribute past season one the show
[16:36] bends to her will she gets to be in the
[16:38] surface without doing in the dance and
[16:40] she gets a special red jacket because
[16:42] she likes red why is the camera doing a
[16:55] slo-mo is it drools all over her when
[16:57] the shot isn't attached to anyone's
[16:59] eyeballs isn't that what the explanation
[17:00] typically is when a camera is liran on a
[17:03] lady placement of the shots together
[17:04] makes it look like it's from Veronica's
[17:06] perspective Veronica doesn't like Cheryl
[17:09] Archie and Jughead are sitting on the
[17:10] side of the table to see this too but
[17:12] neither of them like her and no one's
[17:14] really happy to see her or flustered by
[17:16] her there's nothing really significant
[17:18] to this moment it isn't a reveal what's
[17:20] not unusual this is just Cheryl's
[17:22] reintroduction in the first episode of
[17:24] season 3 to me this is sort of Cheryl's
[17:27] perspective of herself and she wants a
[17:29] sexy slo-mo musically scored love
[17:31] interest introduction she just gets one
[17:34] the writers are literally obsessed or
[17:37] Madeline's agent did a fantastic job
[17:39] with her contract and deserves to be
[17:41] taken out for some milkshakes and this
[17:43] brings us to Keven Keller who I'm gonna
[17:44] focus on to try to make a point about
[17:46] Riverdale's inability to keep tabs on
[17:48] these chickadees Kevin seems way more
[17:50] important in the first few seasons than
[17:52] he actually is every season he just
[17:54] falls off the face of the earth for a
[17:56] few episodes at a time and then
[17:57] reappears when we need access to
[17:59] whomever is his plot adjacent boyfriend
[18:02] at first it doesn't seem to offer a
[18:04] supporting cast member right
[18:05] but soon kevin begins to fill any
[18:07] miscellaneous voids when we need a
[18:08] student who's not one of the main four
[18:10] who's gonna be the kid of the sheriff
[18:12] connecting us to Riverdale's law
[18:13] enforcement who's gonna run the talent
[18:15] show
[18:16] Archie's joining the wrestling team we
[18:18] needed ood Oh Kevin
[18:20] and my personal favorite who's gonna get
[18:22] sucked into a cult and have his organ
[18:23] harvested dares our boy all of Kevin's
[18:26] platonic relationships are weird and
[18:28] poorly defined if Kevin talks to another
[18:30] boy like Archie or Jughead i partially
[18:32] expect a loading screen to pop up if you
[18:34] listen closely you can actually hear the
[18:36] writers hastily messaging each other at
[18:38] 3:00 I am trying to remember if he's
[18:40] ever spoken to Reggie what happens with
[18:42] the girls his Kevin slides into the gay
[18:44] best french room he meets a girl and the
[18:46] girl now trusts him more so than other
[18:48] girls so it's like he maxes out
[18:50] friendship points with every girl he
[18:51] meets but the friendship is
[18:53] simultaneously incredibly trusting and
[18:55] incredibly shallow in my opinion one of
[18:57] the cutest friendship moments with one
[18:59] of the main four and Kevin happens off
[19:01] screen it's when Veronica sleeps over
[19:03] his house to do recon on his dad not to
[19:05] be confused with the time Betty broke
[19:07] into his house to steal from his dad and
[19:09] when we see Veronica and Kevin after
[19:11] they've gone to bed Veronica is in
[19:13] Kevin's bed and Kevin is sleeping on the
[19:15] floor this made me smile because it
[19:16] means either
[19:17] Veronica browbeat him into giving up his
[19:19] bed or he just gentlemanly let her have
[19:22] it it's cute it's like they have an
[19:23] actual dynamic they sorta do in season
[19:26] one but these moments get kind of a few
[19:28] and far between
[19:29] I like this clip though you do you a
[19:30] girl I'll be back what was it like
[19:36] before she got here I honestly cannot
[19:40] remember
[19:40] Kevin's main dilemma throughout
[19:42] Riverdale was loneliness he really wants
[19:44] a boyfriend but he can't find one in
[19:46] Riverdale there just aren't that many
[19:47] fish in the sea for him it's actually
[19:49] not really a sea at all it's more like a
[19:51] plastic pool for toddlers with a little
[19:53] turtles printed on the side of it so he
[19:55] can only hook up with guys in the woods
[19:56] any boyfriends he gets throughout the
[19:58] story bail on him or bail on him or bail
[20:00] on him off this mortal coil how original
[20:02] or veil on him again or bail on him by
[20:05] getting raptured that's actually
[20:07] original either the writers really want
[20:09] him to be single or perhaps you know I'm
[20:11] just gonna go with the first thing am I
[20:13] allowed to just not propose a second
[20:16] thing the show should probably be
[20:18] connecting how unfulfilled his platonic
[20:20] relationships are into this dilemma
[20:21] there is basically one scene in this
[20:24] entire show where he gets mad at his
[20:26] friends and still stuff isn't lining up
[20:28] in his season 2 episode 3 speech in the
[20:31] aftermath of the black hood killer a
[20:33] murderer whose MO is stabbing sinner
[20:36] and at the bar for what a sinner is is
[20:38] so low that he tried to eliminate to
[20:40] teenagers for doing drugs in the woods
[20:42] sidenote why are you murdering children
[20:44] in the woods for doing vague pixie stick
[20:46] drugs what even is this moral value
[20:49] system I'm sorry I'm getting distracted
[20:50] anyway
[20:51] Betty has gone to confront Kevin about
[20:53] hooking up with dudes in these very same
[20:56] woods but Kevin's speech quickly goes
[20:58] off on a tangent about Betty going dark
[21:00] Betty the show's cute nickname for
[21:01] Betty's alter-ego when she dissociates
[21:05] for when you're exploring your BDSM
[21:07] sexuality which again you're allowed to
[21:10] do you mean that time she snapped and
[21:12] tried to boil and drown a sex offender
[21:14] dude and a hot tub ask yourself if Kevin
[21:16] gets one speech where he gets to cut to
[21:19] the bone about how ignorant his friends
[21:20] are of his problems why include this the
[21:23] bit that actually matters the pale pink
[21:25] milk chicks part almost reads as if it
[21:27] was written for a different character
[21:28] who wasn't constantly inserting himself
[21:30] into Betty's love life season one Kevin
[21:32] definitely comes off more like someone
[21:34] vicariously living through her or just
[21:36] loving the drama at first I thought the
[21:39] discrepancy was on purpose that this was
[21:40] going to tie back into those themes that
[21:42] everyone in Riverdale is wearing a mask
[21:44] I thought maybe they were playing into
[21:46] this idea that Kevin was LARPing being
[21:48] that gay best friend archetype I started
[21:50] wondering if this was more of a persona
[21:52] that he had to psych himself into but he
[21:54] wasn't totally comfortable with the
[21:55] persona wins him friends with girls like
[21:57] Veronica but at the end of the day they
[21:59] stay the personas friends but I can't
[22:02] find evidence the discrepancy was on
[22:03] purpose I find something very compelling
[22:06] about this I see someone who is
[22:07] desperately lonely and their platonic
[22:09] friendships are nothing but a drain on
[22:11] them there is a legitimate criticism of
[22:13] his friendship with Betty because
[22:15] sometimes it does feel like she's
[22:16] judging him she never laughs at his
[22:18] dirty jokes and she seems skeeved out by
[22:20] his casual hookups but it all gets
[22:22] washed away because the specifics of the
[22:24] situation wherein he finally gets to
[22:26] make that criticism is so absurd it was
[22:29] almost like it was organized to take all
[22:31] the bite out of his argument you just
[22:32] want to roll your eyes and yell go home
[22:34] Kevin develop a character quirk and come
[22:36] back when you're ready you know it's
[22:38] okay if the group only cares about each
[22:39] other and sometimes their parents but
[22:41] the world the Riverdale would feel more
[22:43] real if you kept better track of the
[22:44] relationships between the main cast and
[22:46] the supporting gas
[22:47] Riverdale's struggling with this I don't
[22:49] think the show is willing to confront
[22:50] the fact that Kevin is emotionally their
[22:52] lunch box friend when they put lines in
[22:54] like this your mother is here best
[22:58] friend wait jugheads in this plot line
[23:00] oh he probably means platonic only so
[23:02] Archie actually you know she's closer to
[23:05] Veronica these days your best friend
[23:07] Kevin Oh No who told ever never that him
[23:12] oh that makes me sad it was written in
[23:16] the cards for I'm not sure you've
[23:24] noticed this but Riverdale has been
[23:26] criticized for sexualizing teens a lot
[23:30] not like showing teens having
[23:32] relationships with sex but leering on
[23:34] them with the camera and putting
[23:36] together choreography that would likely
[23:38] not get approved for school events you
[23:40] know the kind of stuff that would
[23:42] probably make more people take pause if
[23:44] the characters were played by teen
[23:46] actors closer to the characters age the
[23:48] show can just straight-up forget how old
[23:50] its characters are like when Kevin does
[23:51] a Freudian slip that breaks the fourth
[23:53] wall accidentally calling Archie a
[23:55] millennial but like most millennial
[23:57] street guys he needs to be told what he
[23:59] wants so tell him hey I know what
[24:02] Millennials Street guys really need to
[24:04] be born before the first Shrek movie it
[24:06] may be like a t-shirt it's got a picture
[24:08] of a worm on a string on it with a curse
[24:10] word I'm just talking about what I want
[24:12] now anyway the most famous example of
[24:14] Riverdale sexualizing a teen character
[24:16] that they got raked over the coals for
[24:18] is Betty Cooper high school sophomore
[24:22] does a pole dance in a biker club filled
[24:24] with adults including her mom and her
[24:26] boyfriends dad of course no one stops
[24:29] her they give her a leather jacket and
[24:31] welcome her into the serpent's gang the
[24:33] pole dance if you're not in the know is
[24:34] the price of admission for would-be lady
[24:36] serpents because it's such a mad world
[24:42] it's supposed to be creepy but I don't
[24:44] think it is the only thing actually
[24:46] creepy about this is the weird auto-tune
[24:48] to perfection singing and the real world
[24:50] implications my icy 20-something dancing
[24:54] on a pole looking bored and then I see
[24:57] the characters react to the fact that
[24:58] she joined the serpent's and just kind
[25:00] of forget that
[25:01] this part happened or you know the
[25:03] alarming underlying psychological issues
[25:06] the character is going through that
[25:07] caused this and stuff like this to
[25:10] happen
[25:11] quote dark Betty unquote feels so safely
[25:14] contained only emerging to do something
[25:16] tragically edgy or sexy then swan dive
[25:19] out of existence for 10 episodes the
[25:21] show manages to take all the power out
[25:23] of dark Betty's bite when Betty brings
[25:25] the black wig on vacation with her to
[25:27] wear while having sex with Jughead who
[25:29] do you think this moment will mark the
[25:30] beginning of the end where the lines
[25:32] between Betty and dark Betty start to
[25:34] blur more I was looking for the lighter
[25:35] as proof and found all your secret toys
[25:37] why in god's name do you have this
[25:39] cabaret wig where's it when she has sex
[25:41] with Jughead is that true Elizabeth I
[25:48] how would you even know that I was
[25:53] guessing guessing Betty is it is it true
[26:00] this moment doesn't move the plot
[26:02] forward you will only remember this as
[26:04] scorching secondhand embarrassment and
[26:06] another example of chick being creepy I
[26:09] think the sound effect here was trying
[26:11] to communicate that Betty's digging her
[26:13] nails into her palm even though we can't
[26:14] see it I just want to be able to squeeze
[26:18] my hand and make it sound like I'm
[26:20] pulling a legendary sword out of a rock
[26:22] then no one would mess with me everyone
[26:24] would just give me all of the worms the
[26:27] best most extreme example of dark Betty
[26:29] when she is both dangerous and
[26:31] dissociating and also just aesthetically
[26:33] notable because she's visible in full
[26:34] costume is its first occurrence you see
[26:38] there is no progression or rather
[26:39] regression on the dark Betty front a
[26:42] mental illness is currently defined as
[26:44] unusual persistent patterns of moods
[26:46] thoughts or feelings unusual in the
[26:48] context of your society that are hurting
[26:51] your quality of life in Riverdale
[26:53] Betty's mental illness is a finisher
[26:55] move she can use on people who cross her
[26:56] it's hard to nail down what exactly
[26:58] Betty is supposed to have but this is
[27:00] not too much of a problem for me because
[27:02] in real-life duo diagnoses are a thing
[27:04] and sometimes when one thing goes wrong
[27:06] a whole bunch of things start to go
[27:08] wrong I'm not completely disgusted by
[27:11] the werewolf like way they treat her
[27:13] mental ill
[27:14] to an extent sometimes people just
[27:16] suddenly act out I've come to appreciate
[27:18] that the world has no shortage of
[27:20] functional or seemingly functional
[27:22] people working hard trying to keep
[27:23] things together behind the scenes some
[27:25] of them in treatment others not I am
[27:28] however insulted by the storm of words
[27:30] like insanity and madness paired with
[27:32] the lack of anything meaningful or
[27:34] notable to say about the subject but
[27:36] he's risk seeking behavior and her
[27:38] violent impulses are like a skill tree
[27:40] of magic available to her because her
[27:42] father was a serial killer however in
[27:44] the last episodes of season three it
[27:46] reveals itself to really be maybe more
[27:48] of a medical problem
[27:50] Betty apparently has the mao-a gene also
[27:53] known as the serial killer or warrior
[27:55] gene it's real and inheritable it's
[27:58] usually coupled with the traumatic
[27:59] childhood but women are excluded for
[28:01] most research about it what little
[28:02] research I could find suggests it the
[28:04] way it interferes with neurotransmitters
[28:06] would make Betty happier without enough
[28:07] testosterone she wouldn't experience the
[28:09] loss of impulse control and thus the
[28:11] negative consequences associated with
[28:13] having the gene in the first place so
[28:15] we're back to square one I really feel
[28:17] like you shouldn't use a gene that has
[28:18] never been mentioned in universe as an
[28:20] end-of-season dramatic reveal that's
[28:22] supposed to be weighty and upsetting it
[28:24] just seems silly and probably insulting
[28:27] to someone with real problems I think
[28:29] the reason why seems like Betty
[28:31] striptease will always be read as
[28:33] Riverdale back out it again is because
[28:35] they never found a mature way to talk
[28:37] about her issues so people will always
[28:38] assume that it's just shallow oblivious
[28:41] fanservice and that sounds pretty fair
[28:43] to me because they've never given me a
[28:45] reason to have more faith that they
[28:47] thought this through
[28:48] with all my sarcasm Snipes and
[28:51] snickering you might think that I hate
[28:52] this show but I don't and you know what
[28:55] I'm not alone because half the channels
[28:56] making Riverdale cringe compilations are
[28:58] also making music videos about the
[29:00] characters being in love and you know
[29:02] what I have something nice to say you
[29:03] people have correctly identified the fun
[29:05] part of the show from what I knew about
[29:07] the comic I was expecting it to be love
[29:09] triangle central and I was first
[29:10] impressed with this scene
[29:13] that case mine putting in a word I've
[29:16] heard every flavor of boy horn actually
[29:18] to clarify Betty and Archie aren't
[29:20] dating but they are and gaming she's
[29:24] asking to the semi-formal that that's a
[29:26] clip from the first episode and I like
[29:27] how it subtly moves away from some of
[29:29] the cliches of teen dramas instead of
[29:31] Betty silently sulking about Veronica
[29:33] going after Archie Veronica is informed
[29:35] of Betty's intentions and so Veronica
[29:38] can make the decision to just chill out
[29:40] and this keeps her from looking like a
[29:41] stock mean girl but wait there's more
[29:44] the show will not pretend that Betty
[29:46] owns Archie just because she's a nice
[29:48] girl who has a crush on him this is some
[29:50] advanced protagonist writing okay soon
[29:53] into the first season the love triangle
[29:55] between the three is dropped and with a
[29:57] weird amount of certainty Betty and
[29:58] Jughead get together and they just kind
[30:01] of stick together what a novel concept
[30:02] for a teen drama the show made me
[30:05] realize I'm burned out on treacherous
[30:06] love triangles and shows that make its
[30:08] characters dating life into a game of
[30:10] musical chairs because they get bored
[30:12] and they want to try something new I
[30:13] slowly realized watching Betty and
[30:15] Jughead that there's this quiet
[30:16] underappreciated dignity to just letting
[30:19] two characters chill out and be a normal
[30:21] couple and then send them on unnormal
[30:23] adventures Archie and Veronica
[30:24] unfortunately operate as business as
[30:27] usual for the genre they might clock in
[30:29] more hours together than what is typical
[30:31] for a show like this but the two do
[30:33] break up and date other people for much
[30:35] of season three but you know it won't
[30:37] last because as Veronica says their end
[30:40] game these subplots are so depressing
[30:43] they feel like extended apologies to
[30:45] Reggie and Josie because their
[30:46] pre-existing characters that aren't
[30:48] being used it's actually kinda rude dear
[30:51] Josie I'm sorry we changed the tone of
[30:54] the show so much that your narrative
[30:56] about a teenage girl trying to build a
[30:58] brand doesn't fit anymore you see I was
[31:01] on a D&D kick and I binge stranger
[31:04] things and then I got jealous that my
[31:07] show didn't have magic so um I don't
[31:11] know
[31:11] changing the genre every season had some
[31:14] unforeseen consequences sorry you're
[31:19] cute though and I want to inject that
[31:21] cover of candy girl parentheses sugar
[31:24] sugar into my veins
[31:25] good luck with your new show sorry
[31:29] love the writers I can't guarantee the
[31:33] writing for the romantic subplots won't
[31:34] tank in the future but I'm gonna keep my
[31:36] fingers crossed that they keep the love
[31:38] triangle suppressed especially the ones
[31:40] between the main four if you're rooting
[31:42] for something else I'm sorry but the
[31:43] plot literally cannot handle a shift
[31:45] that powerful the show structurally
[31:48] resembles three different flavors of gum
[31:49] chewed together and spat out the general
[31:52] bond between Archie Betty Veronica and
[31:54] Jughead is probably the most solid
[31:56] believable thing in the whole show and
[31:57] that's a relief because there was a lot
[31:59] riding on that it strengthens the
[32:01] friendships that stay platonic they
[32:02] don't feel forced and weird and
[32:04] contaminated by drama and backstabbing
[32:06] basically it's like the exact opposite
[32:08] of the Glee cast where a few seasons in
[32:10] you're watching all these people singing
[32:12] on stage together and you're like these
[32:13] people shouldn't be friends that you'd
[32:14] be lunging across the stage trying to
[32:16] kill each other because that's what
[32:18] happens when you play romantic musical
[32:19] chairs with the core characters slowly
[32:21] the dense oppressive tangled roots of
[32:24] in-group friend sess grow wild and free
[32:27] so I don't know nothing about the hot
[32:29] tub scene we don't know her it was a
[32:31] joke okay that they didn't play the
[32:32] tense music okay that didn't happen
[32:34] a [ __ ] kiss right now in the present
[32:37] might be precisely what it takes to save
[32:39] a future bug-head from imploding just
[32:41] shh-shh repress the memory we're gonna
[32:44] sit down and watch our stories and we're
[32:46] gonna get mad at them but we're gonna
[32:48] have fun getting mad at them I did not
[32:50] expect to find a show more extra than
[32:53] Gotham so fast and I loved it I just
[32:55] want 10,000 seasons of Riverdale now I'd
[32:58] like to thank the people who made it and
[32:59] encourage you to watch it especially if
[33:01] you got some buds and/or buddies to be
[33:03] watching it with although I'll warn you
[33:05] if you're going into this with a serious
[33:07] mind it will probably not turn out well
[33:09] oh and one last thing if we do Riverdale
[33:11] again would you like to do a plot
[33:12] analysis or character analysis if you
[33:15] like my content and you deem me worthy
[33:16] you can subscribe to my channel you
[33:18] could go another step by ringing the
[33:20] bell for my channel and you can go a
[33:21] third step by going to my patreon and
[33:24] becoming a patron my patrons are the
[33:26] holiest of all submarino's they're all
[33:28] attractive and polite and you can join
[33:30] them you don't even have to get your
[33:31] organs harvested and your boyfriend
[33:33] doesn't have to get raptured your
[33:34] boyfriend stays exactly where he is
[33:36] either right by your side or
[33:38] comfortable state of non-existence first
[33:41] thing they're gonna midea nollie like
[33:42] foot finish other sites on there yeah I
[33:45] know I'm not on that sign on we keep it
[33:48] very sir sighs I don't know probably you
[33:53] have small little perfect feet that lots
[33:56] of people love okay take your shoes off
[33:58] no I'm going that you're the one behind
[34:01] we keep show those feet show those
[34:04] things yep so good bye