---
title: 'But WHY is Riverdale''s Writing so Cringey?'
source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=CF0PTwMhgF0'
video_id: 'CF0PTwMhgF0'
date: 2026-06-30
duration_sec: 2053
---

# But WHY is Riverdale's Writing so Cringey?

> Source: [But WHY is Riverdale's Writing so Cringey?](https://youtube.com/watch?v=CF0PTwMhgF0)

## Summary



## Transcript

mr. Rogers nice haircut looking
extremely dilthey today as our geo hello
so cards in the table I have never read
an Archie comic the perspective you're
getting from this video is from someone
who can't judge the show as an
adaptation because I'm meeting the
characters for the first time what I
have absorbed through social osmosis as
there is a blonde and a brunette
fighting over a redheaded boy he's
probably named Archie and there's
another guy in there somewhere who eats
a lot of hamburgers and wears a crown
yeah that's all I got so let's watch
Riverdale originally airing on the CW it
started in 2017 and has nearly four
seasons completed as I write this I sure
hope nothing important happens in season
four so I don't regret making this video
so soon maybe all the characters will
just chill out all season long and take
naps and little people pile oh boy there
is something in Riverdale that feels
very genuine and sweet but how is a show
so self-aware that in the first episode
it'll point out the one of its
characters fits the gay best friend
trope to a tee it's real eating still a
thing
it's being the gay best friend still a
thing
but not self-aware enough to realize
that it's not really funny to point out
that he's a cliche in the episode you
introduced him because you're the reason
he's a cliche
you know before I even saw Riverdale
YouTube really wanted me to watch all
these videos titled things like
Riverdale's writing is cringe for 10,000
minutes there are just so many of these
videos our family will eat like kings
all winter this provides me with a
question I want to answer why is
Riverdale's writing so cringy the first
reoccurring thing that jumps out to me
about Riverdale is the show keeps
running up to me and telling on itself
four things it doesn't want to fix check
yourself I'd date ladies fo lesbian
kissing hasn't been taboo since 1994 but
to me there's nothing more amateur than
age-inappropriate casting don't worry
you may be a stock character from the
nineties teen movie but I'm not our show
is insecure it needs a hug it wants some
hot chocolate it needs a little bit of a
pep talk to stop this analysis from
getting to blood for the blood god I'm
gonna try to go out of my way to praise
the show and I think it's done something
right for example I like jugheads crown
beanie I think it's a clever translation
of the comic book characters crown it's
unique but not distracting to me and it
helps the poorly maintained illusion
that the character has a limited
wardrobe because he's poor some folks
who grew up with this character might
hate that he looks like a moody hipster
but I'll accept the miz' Mele hipster
because I don't know them however the
people working on the show think
jugheads hat is stupid how do I know
that well I could tell you it's because
I've watched a lot of interviews but
mostly I know that because they told me
using Jughead in case you haven't
noticed I'm weird I'm a weirdo I don't
fit in and I don't want to fit in
have you ever seen me without this
stupid hat on that's weird it's like
watching a ventriloquist who's not even
trying to hide the fact that they're the
one talking in the compilations of
Riverdale's worst lines this clip always
shows up in there somewhere there is
something so deeply uncomfortable about
him talking about his hat like he's the
Phantom of the Opera so if you don't
know Jughead wears this hat because the
character he's based off of wears a
crown the character talks as if he's not
in control of whether or not he wears
the Hat every day and in a way he's not
Jughead Jones wears the crown because
he's Jughead Jones but the fun of
fiction is getting us to believe that
the fake people are alive that they've
lived a life that started before the
events of the story and that they make
choices big and small on their own let's
take a similar thing jugheads name is
kind of silly and the show can't change
his name because he's an iconic comic
book character when sheriff Keller asked
Jughead if he's ever been bullied he
goes yeah
my name is Jughead and that comes off as
a real reaction as someone who had to
walk into kindergarten with that name
the trouble is the Hat is treated the
same as his name as an inherited problem
from the source material an
aesthetically unpleasant thing they
can't get rid of in the real world these
two things are the same problem but in
the fictional world they're not the
character didn't pick his name but he
chooses to wear the hat every day the
crown beanie could be a gift from
someone special like Arnold from hey
Arnold's little blue hat or maybe it's
just that something about the symbolism
appeals to him thus why when he tags his
name on a building he takes the time to
include a crown
maybe he's declared himself king as a
way of saying he has value or control
over his life but that's just a bunch of
stuff I just made up absolutely none of
it is necessary because it's a gray
beanie with a unique rim look I promise
I promise I promise I promise at
absolute worst
it's a questionable fashion choice being
made by a high schooler just chill out
think happy thoughts okay hot chocolate
big fluffy blankets little mittens for
fuzzy kittens because of the patrons we
got a higher quality mic we can do ASMR
now I'm going to speak in a low voice in
crumpled paper
I believe in you you should have more
confidence in your decisions realize I
need to dissect the scripts a little
more name I know you do what you like
this you go [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]
my line out of the office one thing that
would demolish most of these cringe
writing lists is if the characters stop
talking the way people tweet semi
ironically Veronica Kevin and Sheryl are
the biggest defenders because Veronica
and Sheryl are so important to season
one you may switch from Veronica
focusing to a Cheryl focusing and since
both characters are talking like this it
feels like it's everyone even though
it's technically just these three people
and then there are the references they
come in two types dialogue and in
visuals Riverdale's use of visual
references is fine a lot of them are
really cool I like in this intense
moment where the stovetop popcorn is
about to explode like and scream I love
how the license plate on this car that
they push into the marsh is the same as
the one from Hitchcock's Psycho some of
them can be actually smart and adds
something like miss Grundy is always
looking over her heart-shaped sunglasses
like Dolores from Lolita but miss Grundy
is in a victim like Dolores she's a
predator like Humbert Humbert
get it that's kind of cool other times
they can be a little ham-fisted like
Betty's dead slowly turning into
Hannibal Lecter once he's in prison but
what's really getting me down is
Riverdale's use of references in
dialogue it made me realize how annoying
references can be when not specific or
targeted enough it is not funny to
acknowledge the existence of other
things on its own if Jughead a guy who
lived and worked at the drive-in that
mainly plays old movies compulsively
reference those movies this would be
fine even if the jokes fell flat it
would still feel like the character
failing to be funny or if Veronica and
her mom Hermione did it that would mean
two people were doing it but you could
argue Veronica learned the habit from
her mom instead it's everyone every
episode people in the inner circle
people outside the inner circle their
parents their foes almost
everyone has the same way of spouting
references and the teens rarely
reference anything from after the 2000s
we get like a shrek and Suicide Squad
reference what was the like Suicide
Squad and all this time I thought you
were a lover not a fighter
I've got layers there might be a
character in your story who's a bit of a
film buff who enjoys making obscure
references so no one specifically in the
room seemingly just to enjoy the sound
of their own voice but without a setting
that warrants it like all the characters
are film students it might start to feel
unnatural and alienating can I suggest
if you love putting references in your
fictional narratives try to establish in
your mind what a character's interests
are once you know that make sure the
references come from their specific pool
of knowledge try to consider the
characters age in how they grew up then
decide how up-to-date they are with pop
culture or how much knowledge they would
have of things before their time my
brain is so desperate to make the
references mean something that the most
suspense I ever felt watching this show
was when Betty and Veronica were forced
to drink slow-acting poison but you know
not for the reasons they wanted me to so
this was a part of a series of trials
from Simbi baddies and they can't get
the antidote until they pass all the
trials the episode goes on for a little
while and then Veronica and Archie kiss
and I'm like wait is that gonna get him
sick then a while later Betty kisses
Jughead and I remembered that the first
scene where Betty and Jughead kissed
Jughead enters the room referencing
Romeo and Juliet and I'm like oh the
poisons gonna get transferred from the
kiss and they're not gonna have another
antidote for the boys oh no and I just
made that up that's not what happened
Chekhov's gun be damned - silly me for
bothering to remember something
so the references aren't just jarring I
have ziplock ties less disposable than
these references they're not
foreshadowing they're not thematically
important they confuse the setting
they're never important to
characterization they simply never
matter their little black holes in the
dialogue it's so great in life what
answers are straightforward just stop
just stop doing it here's a list of
things you should be doing
oh look at that doing the references
isn't on there I would say that Betty
and Veronica have already been adults
you run a business living yeah Betty go
does her own thing but also Jughead does
too aren't you kind of need some
guidance but she and Sheryl are still
teenagers but if you sat down and
watched any one episode of Riverdale you
would probably find Archie Andrews to be
extremely inoffensive as a character the
show works hard to sell you on the idea
that he's very sweet and well-meaning
everybody talks Archie up as if you were
the perfect precious puppy like pal and
you know what I'm sold Archie is a
cinnamon roll he's as pure as the driven
snow I want you to imagine a version of
Breaking Bad where at the end of every
season and occasionally halfway through
a season Walter White has an epiphany
that he's being a naughty boy and so his
personality almost successfully resets
to the harmless chemistry teacher he was
in episode 1 but the stakes and level of
danger he's in continue to climb at the
same rate it was before this is for the
most part what Archie Andrews is like he
never learns his lesson and something
about it feels so accidental I've seen
critics talk about poorly written
geniuses and I realize now that there is
such a thing as poorly written naivete
Archie has a terminal case of
protagonist boy syndrome despite the
fact that he's not the main character
anymore I should know I'm just assuming
he was sometimes the main character
because the comic was named after him
Archie is underdeveloped compared to his
friends Betty Veronica and Jughead have
their own deep conflicts and themes that
continue to come up every season but I'm
not sure what Archie's conflict is the
one that reoccurred every season is that
he isn't sure what he wants to do for
work after high school which is more
realistic for his he n'ajjer however
it's not Veronica or Jughead trying to
survive their crime entangled families
or Betty wrestling with the fact that
she might become dangerous to other
people if the world keeps pushing her it
puts Archie mentally in another world
away from his friends
Archie continues to dip his toes into
the water of being a bad person however
unlike
the show seems unwilling to treat Archie
as creepy instead it always forces his
hand in the name of self-defense I'm one
of those Riverdale fans who's really
said the main for spend so much time
apart but you know Betty doing private
sleuthing isn't that bad
Archie on the other hand really can't
carry a subplot by himself I think they
need to stop sending Archie on these
protagonists boy side plots where he's
ten thousand miles away from his friends
getting shivved in prison or fighting
off bears however if the show is
revamped - Archie fighting off bears in
prison that would be a different story
if the show carries on how it's been
carrying on everyone's just gonna keep
snickering about the latest Archie
misadventure because they can't believe
this dude who keeps repeating the same
mistakes is still alive he's
accidentally messing with the tone it
either makes his friends look silly and
dramatic or it makes him look like he
has no real problems like it just looks
goofy if next season Veronica's dodging
bullets in Jughead and Betty are hiding
dead bodies in the woods and where's
Archie oh he's in his room scrolling
around college bored like well I thought
school wasn't for me but maybe I want to
be a dentist and then the plot kicks
down his door and is like hey kid
Iram wants to murder you again you know
he's the one from a stable background to
me they should let Archie be the
wholesome foundation for his friends to
come together that he was always meant
to be sometimes I think I understand
what they're going for with him he's
like the human version of pops chocolate
shop he represents the sweeter side of
the show and he has to do battle with
the dark side but like I don't know how
to break it to the show that Archie
Andrews is not the leader and the center
of the universe he's just the tallest
boy what he actually is to me is support
he's the friend everybody loves he's the
tank okay let him be the tank he's good
at it I don't think he's a bad character
I think he's being misused and his time
is being wasted my favorite Archie
moment is when he is punching through a
river of ice to save a friend and his
hands are bleeding and he just keeps
punching as Veronica Betty and Jughead
watch in horror and the reason I love
this is because his friends are
calculating their schemers they're
cautious they don't know what to do but
Archie knows and maybe the
smarter answer but he just goes for it
because there's no time Archie is direct
and the fact that he takes the straight
path and the obvious answer is valuable
and can save them hip Riverdale's main
characters have been accused of being
archetypical you better believe it's
side characters are softcore doomed
despite being marketed as a show for
teens Riverdale is drowning and
contracting and gentrification drama and
just general drama from the adults the
show refuses to have an actual teen
antagonist and so a big deal criminal
like Hiram Lodge gets to look real silly
as he chases down some high school
sophomores and let us not forget Alice
Cooper who changes personalities more
often than her husband changes eye
colors then there is one of my personal
favorites Cheryl blossom who has this
forced mean-girl personality that is
paradoxically well not forced the mask
never slips this is just who she is
she's the realest fakest Mean Girl it's
like the feeling you get when you walk
too close to a visual illusion and it
stops working hey I can't see the boat
anymore and my eyes hurt I have a strong
belief that no one has figured out what
to do with Cheryl after season one with
the case of her murdered twin brother
they solved it but now you're left with
someone without a strong motivation
where nothing else has ever stepped up
but I'm mostly just crossing my fingers
that the thing with Jason blossom stays
dead done and buried okay well they
unburied him but he's still dead and
done you know two out of three ain't bad
anyway for whatever reason Cheryl is
strictly prohibited from ever breaking
original characterization new things
happen to her and she reacts to them as
they come but they have no effect on her
like the way her brother's death did and
this is a problem because her brother's
death was the first thing that ever
happened in the story if you're watching
the show and trying to take it seriously
Cheryl is your worst nightmare if you're
watching this show with friends as
something to laugh at Cheryl is a
beautiful goddess providing you with a
bountiful harvest of cringy quotes the
best thing that ever happened to Cheryl
is her relationship with Tony because if
Veronica or whoever comes up to them
before Cheryl can open her mouth Tony
could just be like whoa real character
here to translate and you know what I
like that when Tony is sad because she
misses the serpent's Cheryl just goes
out on a mission and returns like so I
bought you a girl gang we
can teach them archery in my yard and
become plot relevant someday do you love
it say you love it there is this almost
patronizing and possessive edge to their
relationship that is openly acknowledged
and criticized by Tony without the
wheels completely falling off the wagon
so yeah I'm a fan
however the oddest and most admire all
thing about Cheryl is how she just
demands to be an important member of the
cast despite how little she has to
contribute past season one the show
bends to her will she gets to be in the
surface without doing in the dance and
she gets a special red jacket because
she likes red why is the camera doing a
slo-mo is it drools all over her when
the shot isn't attached to anyone's
eyeballs isn't that what the explanation
typically is when a camera is liran on a
lady placement of the shots together
makes it look like it's from Veronica's
perspective Veronica doesn't like Cheryl
Archie and Jughead are sitting on the
side of the table to see this too but
neither of them like her and no one's
really happy to see her or flustered by
her there's nothing really significant
to this moment it isn't a reveal what's
not unusual this is just Cheryl's
reintroduction in the first episode of
season 3 to me this is sort of Cheryl's
perspective of herself and she wants a
sexy slo-mo musically scored love
interest introduction she just gets one
the writers are literally obsessed or
Madeline's agent did a fantastic job
with her contract and deserves to be
taken out for some milkshakes and this
brings us to Keven Keller who I'm gonna
focus on to try to make a point about
Riverdale's inability to keep tabs on
these chickadees Kevin seems way more
important in the first few seasons than
he actually is every season he just
falls off the face of the earth for a
few episodes at a time and then
reappears when we need access to
whomever is his plot adjacent boyfriend
at first it doesn't seem to offer a
supporting cast member right
but soon kevin begins to fill any
miscellaneous voids when we need a
student who's not one of the main four
who's gonna be the kid of the sheriff
connecting us to Riverdale's law
enforcement who's gonna run the talent
show
Archie's joining the wrestling team we
needed ood Oh Kevin
and my personal favorite who's gonna get
sucked into a cult and have his organ
harvested dares our boy all of Kevin's
platonic relationships are weird and
poorly defined if Kevin talks to another
boy like Archie or Jughead i partially
expect a loading screen to pop up if you
listen closely you can actually hear the
writers hastily messaging each other at
3:00 I am trying to remember if he's
ever spoken to Reggie what happens with
the girls his Kevin slides into the gay
best french room he meets a girl and the
girl now trusts him more so than other
girls so it's like he maxes out
friendship points with every girl he
meets but the friendship is
simultaneously incredibly trusting and
incredibly shallow in my opinion one of
the cutest friendship moments with one
of the main four and Kevin happens off
screen it's when Veronica sleeps over
his house to do recon on his dad not to
be confused with the time Betty broke
into his house to steal from his dad and
when we see Veronica and Kevin after
they've gone to bed Veronica is in
Kevin's bed and Kevin is sleeping on the
floor this made me smile because it
means either
Veronica browbeat him into giving up his
bed or he just gentlemanly let her have
it it's cute it's like they have an
actual dynamic they sorta do in season
one but these moments get kind of a few
and far between
I like this clip though you do you a
girl I'll be back what was it like
before she got here I honestly cannot
remember
Kevin's main dilemma throughout
Riverdale was loneliness he really wants
a boyfriend but he can't find one in
Riverdale there just aren't that many
fish in the sea for him it's actually
not really a sea at all it's more like a
plastic pool for toddlers with a little
turtles printed on the side of it so he
can only hook up with guys in the woods
any boyfriends he gets throughout the
story bail on him or bail on him or bail
on him off this mortal coil how original
or veil on him again or bail on him by
getting raptured that's actually
original either the writers really want
him to be single or perhaps you know I'm
just gonna go with the first thing am I
allowed to just not propose a second
thing the show should probably be
connecting how unfulfilled his platonic
relationships are into this dilemma
there is basically one scene in this
entire show where he gets mad at his
friends and still stuff isn't lining up
in his season 2 episode 3 speech in the
aftermath of the black hood killer a
murderer whose MO is stabbing sinner
and at the bar for what a sinner is is
so low that he tried to eliminate to
teenagers for doing drugs in the woods
sidenote why are you murdering children
in the woods for doing vague pixie stick
drugs what even is this moral value
system I'm sorry I'm getting distracted
anyway
Betty has gone to confront Kevin about
hooking up with dudes in these very same
woods but Kevin's speech quickly goes
off on a tangent about Betty going dark
Betty the show's cute nickname for
Betty's alter-ego when she dissociates
for when you're exploring your BDSM
sexuality which again you're allowed to
do you mean that time she snapped and
tried to boil and drown a sex offender
dude and a hot tub ask yourself if Kevin
gets one speech where he gets to cut to
the bone about how ignorant his friends
are of his problems why include this the
bit that actually matters the pale pink
milk chicks part almost reads as if it
was written for a different character
who wasn't constantly inserting himself
into Betty's love life season one Kevin
definitely comes off more like someone
vicariously living through her or just
loving the drama at first I thought the
discrepancy was on purpose that this was
going to tie back into those themes that
everyone in Riverdale is wearing a mask
I thought maybe they were playing into
this idea that Kevin was LARPing being
that gay best friend archetype I started
wondering if this was more of a persona
that he had to psych himself into but he
wasn't totally comfortable with the
persona wins him friends with girls like
Veronica but at the end of the day they
stay the personas friends but I can't
find evidence the discrepancy was on
purpose I find something very compelling
about this I see someone who is
desperately lonely and their platonic
friendships are nothing but a drain on
them there is a legitimate criticism of
his friendship with Betty because
sometimes it does feel like she's
judging him she never laughs at his
dirty jokes and she seems skeeved out by
his casual hookups but it all gets
washed away because the specifics of the
situation wherein he finally gets to
make that criticism is so absurd it was
almost like it was organized to take all
the bite out of his argument you just
want to roll your eyes and yell go home
Kevin develop a character quirk and come
back when you're ready you know it's
okay if the group only cares about each
other and sometimes their parents but
the world the Riverdale would feel more
real if you kept better track of the
relationships between the main cast and
the supporting gas
Riverdale's struggling with this I don't
think the show is willing to confront
the fact that Kevin is emotionally their
lunch box friend when they put lines in
like this your mother is here best
friend wait jugheads in this plot line
oh he probably means platonic only so
Archie actually you know she's closer to
Veronica these days your best friend
Kevin Oh No who told ever never that him
oh that makes me sad it was written in
the cards for I'm not sure you've
noticed this but Riverdale has been
criticized for sexualizing teens a lot
not like showing teens having
relationships with sex but leering on
them with the camera and putting
together choreography that would likely
not get approved for school events you
know the kind of stuff that would
probably make more people take pause if
the characters were played by teen
actors closer to the characters age the
show can just straight-up forget how old
its characters are like when Kevin does
a Freudian slip that breaks the fourth
wall accidentally calling Archie a
millennial but like most millennial
street guys he needs to be told what he
wants so tell him hey I know what
Millennials Street guys really need to
be born before the first Shrek movie it
may be like a t-shirt it's got a picture
of a worm on a string on it with a curse
word I'm just talking about what I want
now anyway the most famous example of
Riverdale sexualizing a teen character
that they got raked over the coals for
is Betty Cooper high school sophomore
does a pole dance in a biker club filled
with adults including her mom and her
boyfriends dad of course no one stops
her they give her a leather jacket and
welcome her into the serpent's gang the
pole dance if you're not in the know is
the price of admission for would-be lady
serpents because it's such a mad world
it's supposed to be creepy but I don't
think it is the only thing actually
creepy about this is the weird auto-tune
to perfection singing and the real world
implications my icy 20-something dancing
on a pole looking bored and then I see
the characters react to the fact that
she joined the serpent's and just kind
of forget that
this part happened or you know the
alarming underlying psychological issues
the character is going through that
caused this and stuff like this to
happen
quote dark Betty unquote feels so safely
contained only emerging to do something
tragically edgy or sexy then swan dive
out of existence for 10 episodes the
show manages to take all the power out
of dark Betty's bite when Betty brings
the black wig on vacation with her to
wear while having sex with Jughead who
do you think this moment will mark the
beginning of the end where the lines
between Betty and dark Betty start to
blur more I was looking for the lighter
as proof and found all your secret toys
why in god's name do you have this
cabaret wig where's it when she has sex
with Jughead is that true Elizabeth I
how would you even know that I was
guessing guessing Betty is it is it true
this moment doesn't move the plot
forward you will only remember this as
scorching secondhand embarrassment and
another example of chick being creepy I
think the sound effect here was trying
to communicate that Betty's digging her
nails into her palm even though we can't
see it I just want to be able to squeeze
my hand and make it sound like I'm
pulling a legendary sword out of a rock
then no one would mess with me everyone
would just give me all of the worms the
best most extreme example of dark Betty
when she is both dangerous and
dissociating and also just aesthetically
notable because she's visible in full
costume is its first occurrence you see
there is no progression or rather
regression on the dark Betty front a
mental illness is currently defined as
unusual persistent patterns of moods
thoughts or feelings unusual in the
context of your society that are hurting
your quality of life in Riverdale
Betty's mental illness is a finisher
move she can use on people who cross her
it's hard to nail down what exactly
Betty is supposed to have but this is
not too much of a problem for me because
in real-life duo diagnoses are a thing
and sometimes when one thing goes wrong
a whole bunch of things start to go
wrong I'm not completely disgusted by
the werewolf like way they treat her
mental ill
to an extent sometimes people just
suddenly act out I've come to appreciate
that the world has no shortage of
functional or seemingly functional
people working hard trying to keep
things together behind the scenes some
of them in treatment others not I am
however insulted by the storm of words
like insanity and madness paired with
the lack of anything meaningful or
notable to say about the subject but
he's risk seeking behavior and her
violent impulses are like a skill tree
of magic available to her because her
father was a serial killer however in
the last episodes of season three it
reveals itself to really be maybe more
of a medical problem
Betty apparently has the mao-a gene also
known as the serial killer or warrior
gene it's real and inheritable it's
usually coupled with the traumatic
childhood but women are excluded for
most research about it what little
research I could find suggests it the
way it interferes with neurotransmitters
would make Betty happier without enough
testosterone she wouldn't experience the
loss of impulse control and thus the
negative consequences associated with
having the gene in the first place so
we're back to square one I really feel
like you shouldn't use a gene that has
never been mentioned in universe as an
end-of-season dramatic reveal that's
supposed to be weighty and upsetting it
just seems silly and probably insulting
to someone with real problems I think
the reason why seems like Betty
striptease will always be read as
Riverdale back out it again is because
they never found a mature way to talk
about her issues so people will always
assume that it's just shallow oblivious
fanservice and that sounds pretty fair
to me because they've never given me a
reason to have more faith that they
thought this through
with all my sarcasm Snipes and
snickering you might think that I hate
this show but I don't and you know what
I'm not alone because half the channels
making Riverdale cringe compilations are
also making music videos about the
characters being in love and you know
what I have something nice to say you
people have correctly identified the fun
part of the show from what I knew about
the comic I was expecting it to be love
triangle central and I was first
impressed with this scene
that case mine putting in a word I've
heard every flavor of boy horn actually
to clarify Betty and Archie aren't
dating but they are and gaming she's
asking to the semi-formal that that's a
clip from the first episode and I like
how it subtly moves away from some of
the cliches of teen dramas instead of
Betty silently sulking about Veronica
going after Archie Veronica is informed
of Betty's intentions and so Veronica
can make the decision to just chill out
and this keeps her from looking like a
stock mean girl but wait there's more
the show will not pretend that Betty
owns Archie just because she's a nice
girl who has a crush on him this is some
advanced protagonist writing okay soon
into the first season the love triangle
between the three is dropped and with a
weird amount of certainty Betty and
Jughead get together and they just kind
of stick together what a novel concept
for a teen drama the show made me
realize I'm burned out on treacherous
love triangles and shows that make its
characters dating life into a game of
musical chairs because they get bored
and they want to try something new I
slowly realized watching Betty and
Jughead that there's this quiet
underappreciated dignity to just letting
two characters chill out and be a normal
couple and then send them on unnormal
adventures Archie and Veronica
unfortunately operate as business as
usual for the genre they might clock in
more hours together than what is typical
for a show like this but the two do
break up and date other people for much
of season three but you know it won't
last because as Veronica says their end
game these subplots are so depressing
they feel like extended apologies to
Reggie and Josie because their
pre-existing characters that aren't
being used it's actually kinda rude dear
Josie I'm sorry we changed the tone of
the show so much that your narrative
about a teenage girl trying to build a
brand doesn't fit anymore you see I was
on a D&D kick and I binge stranger
things and then I got jealous that my
show didn't have magic so um I don't
know
changing the genre every season had some
unforeseen consequences sorry you're
cute though and I want to inject that
cover of candy girl parentheses sugar
sugar into my veins
good luck with your new show sorry
love the writers I can't guarantee the
writing for the romantic subplots won't
tank in the future but I'm gonna keep my
fingers crossed that they keep the love
triangle suppressed especially the ones
between the main four if you're rooting
for something else I'm sorry but the
plot literally cannot handle a shift
that powerful the show structurally
resembles three different flavors of gum
chewed together and spat out the general
bond between Archie Betty Veronica and
Jughead is probably the most solid
believable thing in the whole show and
that's a relief because there was a lot
riding on that it strengthens the
friendships that stay platonic they
don't feel forced and weird and
contaminated by drama and backstabbing
basically it's like the exact opposite
of the Glee cast where a few seasons in
you're watching all these people singing
on stage together and you're like these
people shouldn't be friends that you'd
be lunging across the stage trying to
kill each other because that's what
happens when you play romantic musical
chairs with the core characters slowly
the dense oppressive tangled roots of
in-group friend sess grow wild and free
so I don't know nothing about the hot
tub scene we don't know her it was a
joke okay that they didn't play the
tense music okay that didn't happen
a [ __ ] kiss right now in the present
might be precisely what it takes to save
a future bug-head from imploding just
shh-shh repress the memory we're gonna
sit down and watch our stories and we're
gonna get mad at them but we're gonna
have fun getting mad at them I did not
expect to find a show more extra than
Gotham so fast and I loved it I just
want 10,000 seasons of Riverdale now I'd
like to thank the people who made it and
encourage you to watch it especially if
you got some buds and/or buddies to be
watching it with although I'll warn you
if you're going into this with a serious
mind it will probably not turn out well
oh and one last thing if we do Riverdale
again would you like to do a plot
analysis or character analysis if you
like my content and you deem me worthy
you can subscribe to my channel you
could go another step by ringing the
bell for my channel and you can go a
third step by going to my patreon and
becoming a patron my patrons are the
holiest of all submarino's they're all
attractive and polite and you can join
them you don't even have to get your
organs harvested and your boyfriend
doesn't have to get raptured your
boyfriend stays exactly where he is
either right by your side or
comfortable state of non-existence first
thing they're gonna midea nollie like
foot finish other sites on there yeah I
know I'm not on that sign on we keep it
very sir sighs I don't know probably you
have small little perfect feet that lots
of people love okay take your shoes off
no I'm going that you're the one behind
we keep show those feet show those
things yep so good bye