---
title: 'Why Venting Makes You & Others Feel Worse, Not Better'
source: 'https://youtube.com/watch?v=1SXDXdngX2M'
video_id: '1SXDXdngX2M'
date: 2026-09-27
duration_sec: 65
channel: 'Andrew Huberman'
---

# Why Venting Makes You & Others Feel Worse, Not Better

> Source: [Why Venting Makes You & Others Feel Worse, Not Better](https://youtube.com/watch?v=1SXDXdngX2M)

## Summary

This video challenges the common belief that venting is the key to feeling better. It explains that while venting strengthens relationships, it often leaves problems unsolved, leading to co-rumination. The speaker shares a two-step approach: validate and empathize first, then broaden perspective and problem-solve.

### Key Points

- **Venting Strengthens Bonds** [00:00] — Venting is good for strengthening bonds between people, but it doesn't solve the underlying problem.
- **Validation Alone Isn't Enough** [00:28] — If a conversation only validates without problem-solving, the problem remains, and the person leaves feeling good about the relationship but not better about the issue.
- **Co-Rumination Is Harmful** [00:28] — Just venting leads to co-rumination, which can be harmful.
- **The Advisory Board Approach** [00:45] — The speaker's advisory board first validates and empathizes, then works to broaden perspective and think through the problem.
- **Problem-Solving Leads to Improvement** [00:58] — When the speaker reaches the problem-solving stage, they are usually in good shape.

### Conclusion

Venting alone strengthens relationships but leaves problems unsolved. The key is to pair empathy with perspective-broadening to move from co-rumination to actual problem-solving.

## Transcript

A lot of people think that the key to feeling better is to vent your emotions. There's research on this. Venting is good for strengthening bonds between people. It's good to know that, you know, we're buddies now.
I could call you up if I'm struggling. You're going to listen to me and empathize with me. That's great for our relationship. But if all you do is just validate what I'm going through and you don't take the next step to additionally help me look at that bigger picture and problem solve, I leave
the conversation feeling really good about my relationship with you, but the problem is still there. So just venting ends up leading to what we call co-rumination, which can be pretty harmful. The people on my chatter advisory board, they know to first validate, empathize with me,
learn about what I'm going through. They've got my back. They communicate that powerfully. But then once they do that, they start working with me to broaden the perspective, to try to think through that problem, which I'm having difficulty doing sometimes.
when the chatter is really, really loud. And, you know, typically when I get to that stage, I'm in pretty good shape.