[0:09] I had to go rewatch the trailer to make
[0:10] sure the contents of the dead man's
[0:11] chest weren't revealed because having
[0:13] heartbeats over the title card feels
[0:15] like such a giveaway once you know. And
[0:16] the subtitle underwater like this,
[0:18] gorgeous. What a fantastic opening shot.
[0:20] It's a wet and rainy movie, so
[0:22] overflowing teacups feel right. But this
[0:24] entire sequence is a tutorial in visual
[0:26] storytelling. Elizabeth's bummed with
[0:27] Alanis Morissette playing in her head,
[0:29] and just seeing the East India Trading
[0:30] Company coming ashore lets us know
[0:32] they're cooked. I want to be like, no
[0:33] way a horse would ride in a rowboat like
[0:35] this, but I have no reason to think this
[0:37] isn't 100% in camera. Horse on a boat.
[0:39] >> The warrant for the arrest of one
[0:41] William Turner.
[0:42] >> This warrant is for Elizabeth Swann.
[0:44] >> My mistake. Arrest her.
[0:46] >> But what of Jack?
[0:47] >> No.
[0:48] >> Dang, he's smooth.
[0:49] >> Sick burn.
[0:50] >> Perhaps you remember a certain pirate
[0:52] named Jack Sparrow.
[0:53] >> Captain.
[0:54] Captain Jack Sparrow.
[0:57] >> Captain Jack Sparrow.
[0:59] >> Is
[1:00] >> Theme kicks in just at the mention of
[1:01] his name. This was featured in the
[1:03] trailer, and I really can't blame them
[1:04] because it looks dope.
[1:11] Now, that's an entrance. Jack always
[1:13] gets a good one.
[1:15] >> Not quite according to plan.
[1:17] Complications arose, ensued, were
[1:19] overcome.
[1:20] >> I would have bet you real money that we
[1:22] had a counter for Jack and Barbossa's
[1:24] >> Shining.
[1:24] >> I don't know, like batting above your
[1:26] average, but for vocabulary and grammar.
[1:27] >> I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your
[1:29] request.
[1:30] >> But apparently not. So I'll just have to
[1:32] win the best ones again.
[1:32] >> Captain, I think the crew would be
[1:34] expecting something a bit more
[1:36] shiny.
[1:37] >> And the Royal Navy chasing us all around
[1:39] the Atlantic.
[1:40] >> And the hurricane.
[1:41] >> All in all, it seems some time since we
[1:43] did a speck of honest pirating.
[1:45] >> Tight turn of phrase.
[1:49] >> What did the bird say?
[1:51] >> First hint that Captain Jack has it all
[1:52] entirely under control.
[1:53] >> So what purpose would be served in
[1:54] finding whatever need be unlocked
[1:56] without first having found the key while
[1:58] I was here.
[1:59] >> The real treasure of our Jack speaks is
[2:00] that he gets his points across in the
[2:01] most condescending way possible.
[2:03] >> So,
[2:04] we're going after this key.
[2:06] >> You're not making any sense at all.
[2:08] >> And because Bootstrap shows up and Jack
[2:10] decides cannibals are preferable to Davy
[2:12] Jones, we get sidetracked. But the next
[2:14] thing to do is in fact go find the key,
[2:15] so he's just being a jerk.
[2:17] >> Any more questions?
[2:18] >> Even the guy who can't speak has
[2:19] questions.
[2:20] >> How have you been what to sleep lately?
[2:22] The captain seems to be acting a bit
[2:23] strange.
[2:25] >> Uh
[2:25] >> Well delivered.
[2:26] >> Something's got Jack vexed. Vexes me.
[2:29] Terribly vexed.
[2:30] >> I don't know why I care, but that's
[2:31] definitely Cambodia and Malaysia, etc.,
[2:33] which makes this the Philippines. And
[2:34] while maybe this is Palau or Guam, the
[2:36] scale seems off, so I think Gore
[2:37] Verbinski was trying to tell us about
[2:38] secret uncharted islands off the coast
[2:40] of Asia.
[2:40] >> Why is the rum always gone?
[2:44] Oh.
[2:47] That's why.
[2:48] >> Knowing thyself.
[2:52] It would be quaint to say nah at this
[2:53] point because things get so so so much
[2:55] grosser, but I'm already getting the
[2:56] tingle up my spine just from the sound
[2:58] design of the mollusks.
[3:03] See, now I can say nope. And Bootstrap
[3:05] is the first of Davy Jones's crew we
[3:06] meet who also happens to be the one with
[3:08] the most humanity left, which makes him
[3:10] even more horrifying.
[3:11] >> Everything went wrong after that.
[3:14] >> Even a little more nope.
[3:15] >> That is the devil himself and it's ALL A
[3:17] PLOT.
[3:18] >> DO WE HAVE a heading?
[3:20] >> Run, land.
[3:24] >> One of my favorite bits gives little
[3:26] scared noise and answer on the second
[3:27] one.
[3:27] >> Run, land.
[3:32] Jack's hat.
[3:34] BRING HER ABOUT.
[3:35] NO, NO, leave it.
[3:37] >> And that's how they know to be scared.
[3:39] This is such a fun transition because it
[3:41] was the middle of the night when Jack
[3:42] came down for some rum. The crew was
[3:43] asleep. And then the monkey throws the
[3:44] hat overboard and we spin around the hat
[3:46] to daytime or at least sunrise.
[3:48] >> Huh?
[3:49] Ah, Vangaster Island.
[3:51] >> So, I looked up what the Turks are
[3:52] saying, but the truth is you really
[3:53] don't need a translation. It's a good
[3:55] hat, they both clock it. The Kraken gets
[3:57] a perfect build-up in this movie. Its
[3:58] first showing is just a shimmer under
[4:00] the water, only really giving us a hint
[4:01] at its size. And regardless of any
[4:03] in-universe explanation, this is the way
[4:05] to build tension around the monster
[4:06] without showing anything more. But, in
[4:08] universe, it's a pretty small fishing
[4:09] boat. It seems like the entire thing
[4:10] might have fit right inside its mouth.
[4:12] >> Mr. Swann.
[4:13] Governor Swann still. Do you think I
[4:15] wear this wig to keep my head warm?
[4:17] >> I mean, maybe? I don't know you.
[4:20] >> And then I intend to return here to
[4:21] marry you.
[4:22] >> Properly?
[4:23] >> Eagerly, if you'll still have me.
[4:25] >> If it weren't for these bars, I'd have
[4:26] you already.
[4:28] >> Well done, Governor.
[4:29] >> Keep your weather eye on the horizon.
[4:31] >> I thought that weather was an adjective
[4:32] in that idiom, and I always thought it
[4:34] was sort of rude. You keep your decrepit
[4:35] eye on the horizon, but I actually think
[4:37] he's telling her to watch the weather.
[4:38] It's like one noun, weather eye. I don't
[4:40] get pirate's logic.
[4:41] >> Captain Jack Sparrow, heard he was
[4:43] [music] dead.
[4:44] >> Singapore. That's what I heard.
[4:46] >> Jack Sparrow
[4:47] turn up in Singapore.
[4:48] >> Jack Sparrow,
[4:50] give him a message.
[4:52] >> [music]
[4:54] >> Can I ask you about Jack Sparrow?
[4:55] >> This whole sequence speaks to Jack's
[4:56] main goal as a pirate, not riches, but
[4:59] notoriety. Dude did well, but really I
[5:00] just loved this random setup on the
[5:01] shore.
[5:02] >> What is island just south of the streets
[5:04] where I trade [music] spices for
[5:06] delicious long pork?
[5:08] >> Ha, long pork. Wait. Oh, oh, oh, no.
[5:13] Also, I was curious what other languages
[5:14] translated it as, since long pork is a
[5:16] bit of an English euphemism for human.
[5:17] Some said cold cuts, Japanese said for
[5:19] seasoning meat, but then they start to
[5:20] get more explicit. Simplified Chinese is
[5:23] super delicious human meat, Latin
[5:24] America Spanish is exquisite human
[5:26] flesh, but the best is the French. De
[5:28] delicieux ragout d'humain, delicious
[5:30] human stews.
[5:31] >> A familiar face.
[5:33] >> Don't eat me.
[5:34] >> I'm not going to eat you.
[5:35] >> Ha, silly Will. I forgot the main thing
[5:37] that parrots do, repeat.
[5:39] >> Long say say you lucky simp tip.
[5:42] >> Sounds like an insult, but he's trying
[5:43] his best to save Will's life.
[5:44] >> Savvy?
[5:45] Polly kicky lick
[5:48] POLLY KICKY LICK!
[5:49] >> POLLY KICKY
[5:50] >> [cheering]
[5:51] >> CUZ THAT WOULDN'T EVEN BE POSSIBLE FOR A
[5:52] EUNUCH.
[5:53] >> Perhaps I can ensure a fair trial for
[5:55] Will if he returns.
[5:56] >> A fair trial for Will ends in a hanging.
[5:58] >> I enjoy that she knows that. It's not
[5:59] like they were wrongfully accused.
[6:01] >> I'm here to negotiate.
[6:03] >> I'm listening.
[6:05] I'm listening intently.
[6:07] >> Now that I've had time to look at it and
[6:08] found this map, suddenly they're not
[6:09] uncharted islands. I believe it's
[6:11] Okinawa. Beckett is one of the primary
[6:12] things that separates these two movies
[6:14] apart from Black Pearl because while
[6:15] Norrington was a fun adventure type
[6:17] villain, it never felt like he had teeth
[6:18] the way Beckett does. Tom Hollander is a
[6:20] big reason for that. He's a few notable
[6:22] baddie roles, but nothing touches the
[6:23] small psychopath Isaacs and Hannah for
[6:25] me.
[6:25] >> You know you can't read.
[6:27] It's the Bible. You get credit for
[6:28] trying.
[6:29] >> Interesting thought. Discuss in the
[6:31] comments.
[6:34] >> What's going into him?
[6:36] >> Must have seen a catfish.
[6:37] >> Honestly, top tier joke. He was so quick
[6:39] with it, too. Look, I get it. I sort of
[6:41] even appreciate what happens to a
[6:43] person's brain that sees an uneven
[6:44] toenail, but there's got to be a line,
[6:46] man. There's got to be.
[6:48] >> See, the Pelagostos believe that Jack is
[6:50] a god in human form.
[6:52] >> Dang, Gibbs loves a good tale. You know
[6:54] he was frantically tracking all the
[6:55] details as this whole thing unfolded.
[6:56] >> Where's the rest of the crew?
[6:57] >> These cages we're in
[6:59] weren't built till after we got here.
[7:02] >> And he's good at it. That's an amazing
[7:03] line.
[7:09] As whimsical as this music is, that was
[7:10] some real ingenuity and resourcefulness,
[7:12] which obviously took Will Turner to come
[7:14] up with.
[7:14] >> [screaming]
[7:15] >> Come
[7:16] on!
[7:17] Is that all you got?
[7:18] >> The first, but not the last time that
[7:20] Marty is helpful. I always wondered why
[7:21] the rope snapped so easily, and my new
[7:23] head cannon is that it's cuz it's human
[7:24] hair. And I'm sure you've always clocked
[7:26] the pointy teeth, but did you ever
[7:27] notice the
[7:29] skins? It's amazing what you can get
[7:30] away with, or at least allude to when
[7:32] you don't draw attention to it. Even
[7:33] more ingenuity.
[7:35] >> [screaming]
[7:36] >> The close-ups.
[7:38] >> Looks like a lady's skirt.
[7:41] >> That sounds like typical crass pirate
[7:42] speak until you understand that in the
[7:44] analogy, they're the lady and you
[7:46] realize it's actually quite progressive.
[7:47] And the second time Marty is DOING HIS
[7:49] BEST.
[7:50] >> [screaming]
[7:53] >> AND THIS IS SUCH A GREAT ADVENTURE
[7:54] SEQUENCE from Jack and the crew escaping
[7:56] all the mishaps they go through until
[7:57] they get back to the Pearl's pure fun.
[8:00] I like that they're sad. It wasn't just
[8:02] about eating him. They really believe
[8:04] whatever it is that which they believe.
[8:06] >> We have a need to travel upriver.
[8:08] >> By need, do you mean a fleeting as in
[8:11] say a passing fancy?
[8:13] >> Look at Gibbs getting in on the grand
[8:14] eloquence. Oh, my my bad.
[8:19] But not to be outdone.
[8:21] >> No, a resolution on using it.
[8:24] You want you to find this.
[8:26] Incapacitatorially finding and or
[8:28] locating and detecting of a way to save
[8:30] your dolly bell old what's her face.
[8:32] >> Savvy?
[8:33] >> Incapacitatorially isn't a word and yet
[8:36] we all know what he's saying even if
[8:37] he's secretly also telling Will he's
[8:38] going to be immobilized on the Flying
[8:40] Dutchman.
[8:40] >> Is there a female presence amongst us,
[8:43] yes?
[8:44] The ghost of a lady, widowed before her
[8:46] marriage, I figure. A virgin too, likely
[8:48] as not.
[8:49] >> Love Elizabeth just painting the gunnel
[8:50] in the background while they discuss
[8:51] whether she's a virgin ghost or a
[8:53] widowed spirit. And yes, that phrase
[8:54] works. To pay is to apply pine pitch or
[8:56] tar and this is the gunnel of the ship.
[8:58] I don't care if it's not something
[8:59] anyone would ever say.
[9:04] Fantastic shot sending us from the sea
[9:05] to the river.
[9:06] >> Imagine this, the roar of the Kraken and
[9:09] the reeking [music] odor
[9:10] of a thousand rotting corpses.
[9:12] >> This time Gibbs unsettled himself. Part
[9:14] of me thinks Tia Dalma's place looks
[9:16] awesome and the other part of me is
[9:17] already itching from the bug bites.
[9:18] That's Britney Spears I'm a slave for
[9:19] you snake.
[9:20] >> You have a touch of destiny about you.
[9:25] >> Hey, so who was going to tell me that
[9:27] well, yes, obviously we all know this is
[9:29] Naomie Harris, that she's the same
[9:31] Naomie Harris that plays Selina? How How
[9:34] am I just realizing that? Why did my
[9:35] brain separate them into two people who
[9:37] both somehow played Eve and James Bond,
[9:38] but otherwise what? I knew I knew right
[9:41] away.
[9:42] >> I brought payment.
[9:44] Look.
[9:47] >> It might feel like an unworthy payment,
[9:48] but knowing how much Jack loves shooting
[9:50] it.
[9:50] >> Your key go to a chest. What is inside?
[9:53] Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a
[9:57] valuable nature?
[9:58] >> Nothing
[9:59] bad, I hope.
[10:01] >> Ragetti's a little flinched jewels as he
[10:02] stumbles upon his true treasure.
[10:05] >> The black spot.
[10:08] >> Hey, it could work.
[10:13] Love that the monkey obviously
[10:14] recognized Barbossa, but not as quickly
[10:15] as I recognized his boots. Match cut.
[10:17] >> If you do happen to get captured, just
[10:19] say Jack Sparrow sent you to settle his
[10:21] debt. Might save your life.
[10:23] >> Technically true as in they won't kill
[10:26] you immediately. Tricky tricky Jackie.
[10:28] Gibbs was right about the breath and the
[10:29] face sucking.
[10:30] >> A fearsome creature with giant tentacles
[10:32] that'll suction your face clean off.
[10:34] >> I can't imagine how many iterations of
[10:36] this they had to go through when
[10:37] storyboarding before they landed on
[10:38] something not gory, but still gross and
[10:40] haunting enough to give me personally
[10:42] nightmares. They really take the part of
[10:44] the ship thing literally and yes, I
[10:45] obviously love and hate every single one
[10:47] of them.
[10:48] >> Down on your marrowbones and cry.
[10:50] >> No clue what he even means, but it's
[10:51] obviously a win. Even their intestines
[10:53] are fish.
[10:57] Fantastic introduction of just his peg
[10:59] leg underwater at first or crab leg? Peg
[11:02] crab leg? Crab peg leg?
[11:04] >> You feel [snorts] pain.
[11:06] >> He blows the match out with his severed
[11:08] tentacle, which is horrifying and
[11:10] amazing. I'm sure I won't shut up about
[11:11] it, but the CGI of Davy Jones is
[11:13] mind-bogglingly fantastic, which is only
[11:15] slightly less impressive than Bill
[11:17] Nighy's performance.
[11:18] >> I can offer you
[11:20] an escape.
[11:22] >> Don't listen to him.
[11:23] >> And if there are any brief moments where
[11:25] he uncanny valleys, it only adds to his
[11:26] presence as nightmare fuel.
[11:28] >> To the depths.
[11:31] >> Fun anecdote, we recently watched this
[11:33] on vacation with an 8-year-old, a
[11:34] 10-year-old, and a 13-year-old, and only
[11:36] the 13-year-old knew what happened.
[11:37] >> Will you serve?
[11:40] >> I will, sir.
[11:43] >> His excitement at the exquisite delight
[11:44] of capturing a new soul is pretty
[11:46] unnerving.
[11:47] >> What is your purpose here?
[11:48] >> Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
[11:52] >> What is your purpose here?
[11:55] >> Jack Sparrow
[11:56] sent me to settle his debt.
[11:58] >> Even Will knows there's at least a 75%
[12:00] chance that Jack is screwing him over.
[12:06] Absolutely amazing teleportation. You
[12:08] can almost see it coming, but it still
[12:10] startles us. I love that it takes the
[12:11] crew a beat to notice.
[12:13] >> Technically, I was only captain for 2
[12:14] years, then I was viciously mutinied
[12:16] upon.
[12:17] >> Then you would have pulled a captain,
[12:18] but have you not introduced yourself all
[12:20] these years as Captain Jack Sparrow?
[12:24] >> I mean, that's not even a deal with the
[12:25] devil type Faustian outcome. He's just
[12:27] speaking the truth.
[12:28] >> Just how many souls do you think my soul
[12:30] is worth?
[12:31] >> 100 souls.
[12:33] >> I truly don't think anyone else could
[12:35] pull this off. Bill has this way of
[12:36] speaking as if words hurt his mouth and
[12:39] he amps it up to 15 in this performance,
[12:40] which makes sense because Davy Jones'
[12:42] anatomical structures wouldn't make
[12:43] speaking easy.
[12:44] >> But I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with
[12:47] this? Can you condemn an innocent man to
[12:50] a lifetime of solitude in your name
[12:53] while you roam free?
[12:56] >> Yep, I'm good with it.
[12:58] >> True Jack Sparrow captain Jack Sparrow
[13:00] moment.
[13:04] And there's nothing like making the
[13:05] previous movie's baddies be terrified of
[13:06] the current movie's baddies to set the
[13:08] stakes.
[13:08] >> And how do you intend to harvest these
[13:10] 99 souls in 3 days?
[13:13] >> Gibbs always a first mate.
[13:15] First.
[13:18] >> [music]
[13:22] >> This probably seems ridiculous if only
[13:23] they glanced up. And yet, if there's one
[13:25] thing I've learned about men at sea,
[13:27] it's that superstition becomes religion.
[13:29] Probably the scurvy. Also, this platform
[13:30] would block their view. Sometimes they
[13:31] capture the original ride so perfectly.
[13:33] >> You can tell I don't ever shy away from
[13:34] a fight.
[13:35] I figure I should get out and see the
[13:37] world while I'm still young.
[13:38] >> Optimism. And I don't give a ass rats if
[13:41] I live or die. Eloquence.
[13:44] >> Me have one arm and a bum leg.
[13:46] >> It's the cruisest for you.
[13:48] Imaginativeness.
[13:49] >> I've always wanted to sail the seas.
[13:51] >> Forever. Sooner than you think.
[13:53] Subterfuge.
[13:54] >> Where are we going?
[13:56] Including those four, that gives us
[13:59] four.
[13:59] >> And a solid bit that you probably see
[14:00] coming, but still gets you to chuckle.
[14:02] We love to be in on the joke.
[14:03] >> The pursuit cost me my crew,
[14:06] my commission,
[14:08] and my life.
[14:09] >> No, man. You stalled the day to let Jack
[14:10] go.
[14:11] >> Commodore, what about Sparrow?
[14:13] Well, I think we can afford to give him
[14:15] one day's head start.
[14:16] >> I'm all for it, but let's be honest.
[14:18] You've always been a bit piraty. I like
[14:20] to think Jack slides behind the pillar
[14:21] and then back out to see how drunk
[14:23] Norrington is, and when Norrington is
[14:24] able to track him, he hires him.
[14:32] He needs a hat, but none will do. Love
[14:34] how the pipe organ mirrors his
[14:35] tentacleness.
[14:41] It's a little more developed in the next
[14:42] movie, but Davy Jones's struggle with
[14:44] emotion is set up right here with this
[14:45] concert. The sharpest of the sharp-eyed
[14:47] viewers notice Tia Dalma's matching
[14:49] locket during their time in her house
[14:50] earlier and put two and two together.
[14:52] So, it's like Calypso shadowing. And
[14:54] sadly, we do need to end here for this
[14:56] week because Pirates movies refuse to be
[14:58] less than 2 and 1/2 hours. So, next week
[14:59] it'll be lots of more gross, terrible,
[15:01] disgusting stuff. Thanks for your
[15:03] patience. Jack Sparrow.