[00:00] Okay, let's see the politician toss this tarantula. Man, it's loud.
[00:13] Holy, what are they listening to in there? Even slow?
[00:28] It's very loud. I'm just saying we're in North Carolina. Oh, okay. Amen! We're in the religion. Yes. Oh, okay. I'm Catholic. Praise! Yes. Please? Please?
[00:42] My god, it sounds like we've entered a boss fight here. Why is it so loud? What are they doing? Is it a ritual? Holy Toledo, bro.
[00:55] Undertaker music. Hey, Tito. Were you told to switch your deck cabs? He's lost your mind. This guy looks insane. I don't know who this guy is. This guy looks like a science experiment, like, out of a fantasy game.
[01:11] Like, that looks like one of the guys you free from a cage and he goes ballistic. Is that the politician? Discount Rick Flair. She summoned him with her music.
[01:23] Imagine, hey, I heard the gospel. You mind if I come in? I was around the corner and I just, I heard the songs. I couldn't help it. Yes.
[01:37] How long have you been living here? June 3rd. Okay, so you've been here for a while. I don't know if they should have, but that's not anything of my, I don't know if that is. Did they broke the door down? What door? They broke the door down. So she can't say anything because there's no lock.
[01:50] I don't know if they disassembled the door or something. This is a house of horrors. What? So they rented out the lower level. She was in the lower level. There's no locks on the door. So she has to barricade the door to keep them from getting in?
[02:03] What the fuck? I don't know what they're charging you here, but it's... You're overpaying. This is terrifying. And then they're up there conducting some kind of occult summoning.
[02:15] Literally the house from Hello Neighbor. I thought it was just right.
[02:27] Okay, no rowdy rowdy. I'm just a boy. I'm just a boy. All right. All right. Let's get it on. What? Who's that, man? Mastuka? They got a gym concert going on here?
[02:42] I would pay for it. There's just an investigation. And somehow that triggered her. I'm a little scared. She looks terrible. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
[02:55] He's probably hearing it all the way up there too with the volume here.
[03:07] No, no, I need my thank you, Jesus. I can't turn it down. Are you crazy? What's wrong with you? Absolutely not. Bro's like Dobby.
[03:19] He's tweaking. I'm going to tell you right now, he's on some shit. Because you're right. The guy who said that he keeps resetting his emote, you're right. This guy keeps going back to, like, neutral emote. It's weird. That guy is on some shit. Jacqueline Vasquez.
[03:31] The dispute drew police attention after officers responded to a call the night before when Marissa confiscated Jacqueline's Instacart order. What? Can you grab all that and sort it? I don't know what she needs.
[03:43] We need to give them back to the Instacart guy because right now I'm going to have to go and buy them a new possession. She's trying to set the movie home situation. Is your six-year-old son deaf?
[03:56] Did you take away his hearing with all that music? No, she can't do that. They have to evict her. How many fucking friends does she have show up to this house?
[04:08] Good Lord. She's got Dobby over there moving and grooving to the deafening music, and now another guy in the middle of the night reporting in for duty as one of her friends? What is happening? This is like a crazy little circus.
[04:28] You stole her shit! Like what do you mean? Ah, nice.
[04:40] She's a genius Galaxy brain She is such an insufferable asshole
[05:03] Holy Wow But she got a lot of friends She got a lot of visitors that come through I going to tell you right now
[05:30] if it's if it's Dobby that guy ain't disassembling shit That guy can't even see straight right now. That guy's on another plane of existence. Dude's probably trying to get at the door handle with a toy hammer.
[05:42] Like, they're probably not making a ton of progress there.
[05:56] It's like kids playing. Yeah! That is creepy.
[06:28] Sounds like SpongeBob and Patrick being worm bait. The fly door is so soft, just come around, I'll open the fly door. She's opening it now.
[06:42] Uh oh. Officer. They're coming down, P5O, come! No! Although the first 911 call ends here, Jacqueline's laptop captures what happens next, and it only gets stranger.
[06:55] Oh, that's so fucked. Ugh. They have fart spray too?
[07:16] What the fuck? Bro, this is actually unhinged. Okay, so she got the fart spray out after throwing a live tarantula at her. And then she's like throwing Caltrops out there.
[07:29] Booby-trapping the stairs so she can't leave. that's insane home alone it's a lot less sophisticated than home alone
[07:43] she has everything in her inventory yeah my wife butchie he took down the door I don't believe that for a second I sooner believe he ate the door
[07:57] Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus. God, look at how horrifying this creature is. Oh!
[08:09] That guy's haunting. You know he's done some crazy shit in his life. Like some deplorable, demonic shit. No, but the tarantula is down there that I just saw!
[08:23] Oh God, that's a big one. And she's filming me crying, by the way.
[08:45] She bought the tarantula it seems solely to torment her with it. So she bought it just to fucking use it as a weapon.
[09:14] I have to know, how is your campaign going? Did she win? Let's see. Marissa Simonetti. Oh here's a mugshot. Uh something tells me not too well.
[09:33] I'm guessing that probably didn't win. Yes. Yes, good. I even like how the officer's like good.
[09:50] I just don't want to... Aggression. I don't want to be hurt. I'm scared. So we're handled completely differently. I can... Listen, we're playing die-dope now with the ocean. How many staff are here? Two. Okay. Well, let's fight them. Yeah.
[10:02] It's running into that plastic thing right there. There's no lid, but that's dirt for where the spider was. You put it back in the tank? I'm putting that back in. I know. She poured tacks all over every stair. Like, tacks and push-ins and nails. What a crazy lady. With an even crazier sidekick. I know. I know. I know I know I know I know I know I know sidekick What a crazy lady With an even crazier sidekick
[10:27] Why are they doing that? She's still banging the pans together. That's when this case takes a bit of a plot twist as we discover Marissa is not the homeowner,
[10:39] but renting out the house while subletting the downstairs as an Airbnb. What a strategy.
[10:53] What a scheme. What a scheme. Marissa, she's seeing ten steps ahead. Wow. I'm gonna laugh at that.
[11:08] I can't believe it. profile in his name and directed unsuspecting men to his home. This lady needs to be locked up immediately.
[11:20] She is just a danger to civilized society.
[11:34] Yeah, and she was running for office. That's right. Oh, here it comes. Now the audio is definitely a little low now that they're just talking normally without the music blaring.
[11:49] It was actually hurting me through the video. All right. You're good. Thank you so much. Thank you for that. However, you're under arrest. Why? First of all, you're under arrest. I did not assault her. I did not assault her.
[12:01] I did not assault her. I did not assault her. I did not assault her. Mike? Another one of her friends showing up?
[12:31] He's with you this whole weekend, so I'm assuming she doesn't have full custody over her son. I can't imagine why. she's engaging in sonic warfare in a home she doesn't even own while tormenting the illegal tenant downstairs
[12:46] for the Airbnb she is running out of it, subletting. I can't believe that they wouldn't let, like, a child stay with her full-time. Mm-hmm. I would like to open our family living room.
[13:00] What the hell is that? My son couldn't be left abandoned. Mike! Hey, Mike. What the hell is our family wizard?
[13:13] The fuck is that? Never heard of that shit in my life. I want to meet Mike. Can we talk more to Mike?
[13:28] Can you provide me with some more on Michael? Please. I'm begging. Who is he? And we're gonna explain that. Hold on. What?
[13:41] My hands are f***ing wet! I'm sure they do. They're not meant to be comfortable. No! No, really, man. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out.
[13:53] Okay, well, I really don't care if you trust me. I'm trying to give you the answers that you're asking for. I'm trying to give you the answers that you're asking for. And if you don't want to listen, that's fine. And if you don't want to listen, that's fine. Wow, what a monster.
[14:11] She's awful. Again, she was running for office, by the way. In an unusual detour, officers transporting Marissa stopped to help restrain a man in custody from an entirely separate case.
[14:29] Oh my, this is eventful across the board. The officer's picked up a side quest.
[14:54] Option number three is cooking. That's a question that everybody wants to know. It's all pretty hazy and...
[15:07] Yeah. Help me understand the tarantula. What's with it? Bamboozle. I knew I'm running for office. This is going to blow up. And so I thought... Bamboozle. That's not a response, but all right. It's a little funny. It's a little Home Alone-like.
[15:19] I mean, it's kind of comical, right? But you went out and bought a tarantula to do that Has any of you ever seen the movie Home Alone After Marissa implies Jacqueline is a squad She a reporter Karen going to question her on Jacqueline clone
[15:33] Says she paid money to stay there. So she says she gave $1,500. She says that she did. Did she? She did stay for a period of time. Was that $1,500 for two weeks? Who knows?
[15:45] Oh my God. Why would she even do this interview? She is one of those people that you can listen to for a couple of sentences and know right
[15:57] away that you're working with someone with a very, very low level of function in their head. Why would she even agree to do this? Do you have a price?
[16:09] Well, she thought it was for free. What, thought she paid $1500? I don't know what she said. She paid for the time when she was there. She's an attorney. She's smart. She was playing a little game.
[16:21] You sound a little unhinged in that video. Yeah. And at the end of the day, unhinged got her out of the house. What? Are you the homeowner? Ah, so great question. That's a public record, and everybody can research that.
[16:34] Yes. So you are the homeowner. Great question. It's public record. Anybody can research that. She is actually so unbelievably bad at this. I'm getting tilted just listening to her squeak all of these awful dodges out.
[16:47] Wow. Wow. But she was running for office. are you the homeowner or who is john ashley he's the homeowner oh he's the homeowner he's the
[17:00] homeowner i live here okay so doesn't he have to ask for the lease so i guess so before ending the interview reporter karen scullin asked marissa if she feels she is fit to run for county commissioner
[17:12] i'm good creatively solving problems and at the end of the day i didn't physically harm anybody i mean i'm a silly goose it's funny she says she's i like how that's the bar for her like hey listen I didn't fucking hurt anyone physically.
[17:24] I'm just an unhinged psychopath idiot. Like, I'm just a moron. So make sure you vote for me, Adina. I disagree.
[17:39] I don't think that's true. I so badly want to learn more about you, Michael. Tell me your story, man. what were you doing there? What is your relationship to Marissa?
[17:54] Please, Michael, I've got to know. Do you teach her spells? Like, what do you do? Why were you there? Who are you, Michael? Coming from the incident, Marissa was initially charged with fifth-degree assault,
[18:08] later amended to harassment for causing extreme emotional distress. She also faced one count of domestic assault by committing acts to cause fear of bodily harm, and one count of disorderly conduct listing offensive, abusive, boisterous, noisy, and or obscene behavior.
[18:20] Michael held a fifth-degree assault for his role in Marissa's actions, along with disorderly conduct. Michael eventually made a plea agreement and was fined $300 for disorderly conduct. In the months after the incident, Marissa was destroyed in her campaign.
[18:32] Losing by more than 35% in one of the county's worst performances in a decade. Ah, that's how we do it. She launched a civil lawsuit against Jacqueline, Hennepin County, the city of Edina, Edina police and several officers in their individual capacity.
[18:44] While a whole other video could be dedicated to her legal arguments, A post by Marissa indicating she uses chat GPT to represent herself. The court described some of her purported legal citations as a real case. They fit as a summary. More than two years after the incident and with numerous delays,
[18:57] the case ultimately proceeded to trial in the summer of 2026. Despite her failure as a politician, Marissa was able to unite 12 strangers in unanimously convicting her of all charges. She will serve 90 days with four days of jail credit and two years of probation.
[19:10] Should she commit another crime during probation, she will serve a state sentence of one year. She was ordered to write a letter of apology to Jacqueline, attend domestic abuse counseling, obtain a mental health evaluation, and is prohibited from possessing firearms. Her court fines and fees total over $1,000.
[19:23] Before reporting to jail, she posted that God would intervene in her sentence. My name is Marissa Simonetti, and God is going to step in. I will not be fostering a baby tomorrow. So we're just stopping by before we take him into the vacation center. Who's we? You and Michael?
[19:35] She later posted that she filed an emergency notice identifying herself as male, seemingly in an attempt to cause hurdles for the system. At the time of posting, Marissa is currently serving the sentence while simultaneously running for Minnesota Senate. That vote takes place on November 3rd, 2020.
[19:48] She's running again! That's so hype. Wow.
[20:00] Just a genuine crazy person. Actually just unhinged. Cool, Marissa. That's pretty fucking cool. Tell me about Michael. I want to know Michael. I'm assuming sugar daddy like I think that's the obvious like I imagine
[20:17] paying for sex would be my guess because I can see like no other explanation here that's like I just I want to know I have to know he paid for the campaign oh
[20:32] maybe oh that could be it yeah