[00:02] .  It so happens that my boyfriend is 25 years old, although I am 32. That is, I am almost 7 years older than him.  And I talked about this on my Instagram, and I got hate from random people there, like, you're an old woman, he's using you, and
[00:17] then the nineteen-year-old will leave.  By the way, I talked about this in my Instagram highlights.  Go ahead and take a look.  The response from the audience was crazy.  But what really hurt me wasn't the hate from random people, but a voicemail from a relative, a
[00:31] close person, in which she said: "Don't show off your boyfriend. You'll break up. Then you'll find someone else, and you 'll show him off too, or something . Who will you be in the eyes of other people?"  And you know, essentially, I shared
[00:43] my joy, my happiness.  And instead of being happy for me, it turns out that my closest people started to suppress me .  And this is what disappointed me the most.  It's kind of hard for me to show up on the blog anyway.  That is, the blog is
[00:59] part of my work.  Yes, I do sometimes make personal content, because it warms up the personality well.  This is reflected in sales.  That is, this is my job, yes, and it’s already hard for me to show up.  And then, when those closest to you are putting you out, it’s
[01:14] doubly difficult.  And so, you know, right here, what will other people think of you , right?  This is where the root of the whole problem lies.  From childhood we are taught to live not as we want, yes, that’s it, but as if we won’t be ashamed in front of other people.  In
[01:29] Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, and Uzbekistan , in general, in our countries, we have , in general, in our countries, we have words like uyat, stydaba, da, shad ideit.  What, what will people say?  This is so deeply ingrained in our
[01:43] culture that we even have words for it.  And sometimes I think how many lives these words have broken, how many people have not started businesses, blogs, left unhappy relationships, and
[01:57] tried to live their own lives.  And if I had spent my whole life, uh, listening to Elem Nedate or Wyatt and worrying about what people would say about me, [sighs heavily] I would never have quit, I would never have left with us, I would never have
[02:11] quit my beloved job, yes, because my relatives, my mother first of all, were super against it, since I had a great job, in general childhood they always told me: “We want you to work somewhere there, so that you have your
[02:25] own office there, so that you work for a company.”  That is, they always instilled in me the mindset that I should be employed.  And when I quit, of course, everyone was super against it.  But despite this, of course, I quit.  Again,
[02:39] if I had listened to Elm Not Date, I would not have started the YouTube channel at all.  When I started it, at first no one really knew about it, but then my videos started
[02:51] getting good views, 100,000, 200,000, and some relatives, it turns out, found me and showed me to my family.  And then, ah, my family told me: “The whole of Kyrgyzstan is watching you , so watch your
[03:07] language, watch what you say.” Although I never really said anything like that.  I always had an expert channel , and even that, ah, triggered them.  Uh, and they always hinted to me, like, don't stick your neck out , don't say anything
[03:24] unnecessary, yes, but it was always difficult for me, but I still overcame it in myself, because YouTube is my love.  I've always wanted to do this.  And thank God I didn't listen to Wyatt.  Uh, if I had listened to him, I wouldn’t have started a YouTube
[03:38] channel, I wouldn’t have received a silver play button, I would n’t be living my wonderful life at the ball now, and I wouldn’t be earning the money I do .  If I worked for us, I would earn three, four times less than I do now.  And
[03:51] you know, the worst thing is that even now, despite my entire journey, yes, despite the fact that I provide for myself there , I stand on two legs, I am generally a grown woman, but it was still painful for me to listen to this voice.  I'm still
[04:05] afraid to show my relationship openly, even though I provide for myself , yes.  And I thought, if I'm so scared, what's it like for girls, young women, who don't have this support, who depend on their parents, who
[04:21] depend on their husbands, it's doubly, triply, just, uh, well, harder for them to show up.  And it turns out that they are living a life that is not their own, but lives for the approval of others.  But in general, this voice from a relative, mm, as if I had
[04:39] zero anger towards it, it was just painful to listen to it.  [sighs heavily] Because I understand that this is not malicious intent, it is fear.  It is a fear that is passed down from generation to generation. They themselves lived like this, they were extinguished, yes, now
[04:54] they are transferring this to us.  But this fear is not mine, it is someone else’s fear.  And I believe the task of our generation is to break this chain.  Because to be happy
[05:06] to disappoint other people, to dislike other people, and to stop living for the sake of other people's approval.  I got these thoughts from this book, I'm linking it here.  It's called Courage to be Disliked.  Courage is not liked by others.  It was
[05:22] thanks to her that I started my YouTube channel.  In general, the main idea of ​​this book is that no matter what you do, there will be people who will not like you. Especially when you start living your own
[05:36] life, start showing up, start doing something of your own, is, you know, this is exactly the law.  And in order to become truly happy, happy inside for yourself, it turns out that you need this kind of
[05:52] courage, you need bravery.  I don't like the courage to go my own way and live for the sake of my the courage to go my own way and live for the sake of my In general, I highly recommend reading this book; when I feel unsettled, I reread it again
[06:08] .  She is really cool, motivating and inspiring.  I advise everyone to read it.  In fact, the best thing I've ever done in my life is not listening to other people's opinions about my life, because I deeply understand that they don't
[06:25] want the best version of me.  They want the version of me that best serves them, not me.  Unfortunately, most people are unhappy, they are not in good
[06:37] people are unhappy, they are not in good shape, they eat unhealthy food, and they live in poverty.  You shouldn't listen to such people especially.  You can't listen when they try to talk you out of doing what it takes to
[06:50] succeed.  In general, an ordinary person will always try to keep you at an average level.  And this is super logical.  If you don't want to be average, at an average level, if you want to be extra, yes, if you want
[07:04] to be extraordinary, then you will do things that are extra for an ordinary person, yes, that an ordinary person will accept. And this is hard to accept, but we have to come to terms with it.  Many people want to see you
[07:19] fail because it justifies the risk they themselves would not take.  And that's why we always need to listen to the people who are closest to our goals, and not those who are just physically closer to us.  So don't accept criticism from those
[07:34] whose lives you wouldn't want to live yourself. If you want to start making content but are afraid that people will judge you and talk about you behind your back, don't worry, it will happen .  Friends will forward your video to chats with friends and write things like:
[07:49] "Oh my God, what cringe."  Who does she think she is?  What, did she decide to become a blogger?  But until the last day of my life, I will not respect those people who have this burning desire to create content and who still
[08:02] give in to social pressure.  I myself was embarrassed for a long time.  7 years ago I started a YouTube channel, and in the first six months of posting I probably got about 100 subscribers.  And because of this, I was experiencing terrible anxiety, because I
[08:15] even quit with us to go to YouTube completely.  Yes, all the relatives knew about it.  And every day when I woke up and still had no results, I thought about how many people are now visiting my page,
[08:27] looking and just cringing at me and my views.  And there will be a period when you will have to plow in silence.  And almost no one talks about this.  But the most difficult thing about content on social networks is not even shooting videos.  The hardest thing is to
[08:40] withstand the pressure from these thoughts.  What will people think of me when I post this?  Yes, these thoughts are the most oppressive.  And people will actually talk about you.  It's inevitable.  The world is full of insecure people who have nothing better
[08:54] to do than throw mud at others.  But if you spend your whole life pushing aside your big dreams for the approval of insecure people, then the people you want to be like will never want to be around
[09:07] you.  So if you want to live an extraordinary life, you will have to withstand the extraordinary life, you will have to withstand the pressure of other people.  Yes, people will judge you.  discuss, wait until you fail.  But that's not what's scarier.
[09:23] The scariest thing is to wake up at 60 and realize that I haven’t lived my life at all.  And I never became myself because I was stupidly afraid of the opinions of others.  And thank God, I had, and still have, enough courage not to listen to others, because when the
[09:37] first results appear, fear turns into freedom.  And I sincerely turns into freedom.  And I sincerely wish you to get through this cringe and achieve the first results, because then everything will be much easier.