Drunk Man's Escape Plan Goes Wrong — Full Breakdown & Transcript

[00:00] Drunk man's brilliant escape plan gets worse every second. Oh, this is brand new.

[00:12] Oh, he got the pepperonis out. Look at those areolas, man. That's aggressive. Holy, that's like the focal point, too, there, of the thumbnail.

[00:24] Oh, they got the riot shield out. responding officers into an unprecedented hunt. Perfect. Stand by.

[00:39] Hello? The male exited the vehicle and with a tether of sense and locked the door. Ma'am, can you step out of the vehicle, please?

[00:51] Can you step out of the vehicle, please? Is there anybody? He's got tickets just to fly inside. Okay. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. We went for a drive and then we came back.

[01:05] Oh, they were hot boxing. Horn check. The 24-year-old man the officer is looking for has vanished into the wild. Went for a drive. My left butt cheek.

[01:19] Hey, get him on the horn. I want to talk to him. Well, I'm going to have you hang tight for now. Yeah, of course. Okay. Open and toss under driver's side seat.

[01:32] Open and toss back seat here. No, it came from the dealership. Yeah, I think they left it in there. A little treat to celebrate the purchase. He looked a little anxious when he got out there and like waddled his way inside like a zombie.

[01:52] That's what I was thinking. Okay, so where were you? decorative beer yeah I totally was it was just more of like a little knick knack

[02:04] really just ties the interior of the car together really there's two people on this planet that when pulled over by

[02:18] cops the first instinct would be to get out of the vehicle and run inside that feels like a recipe for disaster That just doesn't seem like a good plan. I feel like that'd be more anxiety-inducing than anything.

[02:33] But I don't know. Maybe I just... Maybe I just don't get it. I have a hunch she was drunk driving. But it could be anxiety.

[02:47] That's a to-be-determined. Let me take a good look at them. No, it is not. ...found their knocks, officers decide the best course of action is to clear the house. The story about the find inside is far different from what they anticipated.

[03:00] Oh, I thought something happened to pump the riot shield, but like, oh, he didn't answer the door. Okay get the fucking riot shield out Did we bring the bazooka The department bazooka So we made a rainbow six entry

[03:16] Yeah. Yeah, we had to run our strats. We had to retake site. ...decide the best course of action is to clear the house. For what they are about to find inside... Can they do that?

[03:28] I don't know enough about, like, maybe the jurisdiction here, but over suspicion of drunk driving because the the traffic stop was over going

[03:40] what 12 over the speed limit 13 over the speed limit whatever it was and then he goes inside I guess I don't know but now they come in there with the fucking riot shield and shit I guess maybe it would go into like the category of like a pursuit or something

[03:53] I don't know oh god he's got the gadgets out Oh, Lord Sledge just showed up.

[04:15] Oh, I can't help that. That's what he thought that meant. The world's smallest apartment. Eh, fucking pop every door.

[04:28] We're going over here. Alright, we'll pop this one, then that one, and thanks to the double door we're gonna hit that one with C4. We got the briefing charges, right?

[04:40] Come on! They've got... God, they're... They got the blitz straps, bro.

[04:52] They probably went to his room. Wow this place is empty. Does anyone live here? Did he just go into a random house?

[05:08] Bro where the fuck are they? The back room? What?

[05:20] What is this? Get yourself known right now! Hands! Right now! Hands! Hey! What's going on? There's some furniture here. What's going on?

[05:33] No! Okay, exactly! Come out! No! Why do you want to- Get out! What the f*** did I do? What did I do?

[05:45] Oh, shit! Come out with your nipples in the air! Alright. Good heavens. He's got the tactical titties out. Be careful, officer. He's unpredictable.

[05:57] You won't like him when he's shirtless. You're being detained for unlawful areolas.

[06:09] That was not me, dude. That was me. Huh? That was me? I did not go nothing like that. I been here the whole time Okay What That an interesting strategy

[06:35] SpongeBob hoodie goes hard though. Yep. Yep. I'm not lying. I'm driving. I'm driving. Oh, yikes. When we get here, you tell all three of us he was driving. Nice try.

[06:48] That is a crazy strat from her, bro. Why is she... She's not even dating him, by the way. He was literally in there with a different woman. What is their relationship that she's willing to go to jail for him?

[07:03] That's an interesting strategy. Why don't you help me with the car, quick. Okay, so who else lives here? It's just me and a woman that lives here.

[07:15] Okay, who is the female in there? That's me. She's our friend. She came over and we're just- So, two different- Four?! Who's the female inside? Inside? Yeah.

[07:27] The one you arrested was- Oh, she doesn't know! It's the only person. Well, there's another female in there. That's why I'm asking if you know who it is. There's no other female. Oh, fuck.

[07:43] Oh, no. Oh, she didn't know. She had no idea. She was willing to go to jail for him.

[07:56] And she had no fucking clue that he literally dropped her off, went inside to a different woman in bed, and brought out his fucking huge nipples, dude.

[08:09] Wow, that's tough. That's tough. That's brutal. That's brutal. What am I under arrest for?

[08:23] What am I under arrest for? You guys illegally searched my house, got the wrong guy. What am I under arrest for? Dude, they got the wrong guy. Dude, the guy ran out back a little, bro! I don't even remember running into the right guy, man.

[08:35] I like that idea. I drove him! The drunk driver you're looking for, he fucking scooted out the back! I'm gonna tell you a story. Guys, I got out that car. What am I under arrest for?

[08:47] Were you hit? I know. Where? Well, that's not... Huh? I didn't even know you were home.

[08:59] They blew up the neighbors door! I did nothing wrong. Oh, fuck, that poor neighbor. I'm gonna remember and write. I know it. Oh, and you know they're not paying for the repairs either.

[09:13] I got the wrong person, and I hope I will be in court. You're literally kicking someone out the door. You got a... Yeah, I was looking for a new camp. Oh, a shout out?

[09:26] But he just plugged it Paid actor Maybe Wow

[09:38] Jiggles is just kind of popping off.

[09:50] Oh, a nice shimmy? Attaboy. This guy's got the sauce too, man.

[10:08] Oh, he's confirming the anxiety story. He's got tiny nipples. I was deceived by the disproportionate areola to nipple ratio.

[10:23] Look at how small those are. That's like a chia seed. Oh, you can't see it in here. I didn't mean to block it.

[10:35] They're like little pebbles. There's a fucking warehouse. Yeah, we're taking them to like two very odd locations for the FST and now this.

[10:47] Got them in garages and shit. was found with, and she would explain that she lived there as a tenant. Earlier that morning, the man had slipped into her home through the common laundry door between their

[11:00] houses without permission, barged into her room, and asked if he could sleep on the floor. What? And then she was half asleep. She didn't question him, and instead gave him blankets before officers broke into her home looking for him.

[11:12] That is an unbelievably sweet neighbor. What? So he barges in and asks to sleep on the floor, unannounced, and you let him? What?

[11:24] ...an officer. He was later released on a $500 signature bond. He resisted? He was found guilty due to a no-context plea of resisting obstructing an officer. The other charges were dismissed. What was...

[11:36] I guess I don't really get it. What? What was the resist? The other two were the more obvious ones. I guess I don't really get it. Nor do I understand

[11:48] what the escape plan was besides, I guess, just barging into the neighbor's house, which wasn't really an escape plan. He just tried to take a safe zone. By the end, even the judge wasn't sure if he was driving or not. Let's see. I can't imagine there's any world

[12:02] that it's not him. You can see him go into the house. He doesn't really do anything to

[12:14] to deny himself at all. I feel like that's not really what's up for dispute.

[12:27] That could be anyone. True, it could be. Could have been Shadow Clone Jutsu while he was inside. It is possible. Definitely his sweatpants, though. Must be a very popular brand of sweatpants.