It Took Me 30 Years to Realize What I'll Tell You in 11 Minutes

[00:01] you this. Unfortunately, the things that you are chasing right now are not what you are actually looking for. And I know those things personally because I spent most of my life chasing those things, too. Today, I want to share my journey

[00:13] to the simplest truth that took me over 30 years to understand so that you don't waste the next 5, 10, even 20 years of your life going after the wrong things, too. So, in order for me to really explain, we are going to have to go back

[00:27] a few years to the young Monique. So, when I was younger, I didn't feel like I was picked. And I'm going to be real today and lay it all out there. I am not watering nothing down. I just was a person that felt like I wasn't wanted. I

[00:41] was bullied, I was rejected, I was talked about. And this was family situations, this was school situations, this was with just people in general. And when you grow up that way, it forces you to learn something early. You learn

[00:56] how to become whatever keeps you safe. And so, that's when I started being a chameleon. And I would adapt to any situation. And I actually thought that that was a wonderful trait to have. But looking back, I realized I wasn't just

[01:10] adapting, I was adjusting myself to fit inside other people's comfort of what they thought I should be, how they thought I should act. And that was so that I wouldn't get rejected again. And so, here's lesson number one. If you

[01:24] spend your life trying to be digestible for other people, you'll end up Because you cannot build a life trying to be what everyone else approves of. And aside from just doing what people

[01:37] thought I should do, I also did whatever society said I should. You know, be responsible, be smart, do the safe thing. And I'm not saying any of those things are wrong, I'm just saying they are incomplete. Because let me tell you

[01:50] one thing, the system teaches you how to survive, but it does not teach you how to be free. And people are out here still living by rules that were created for a world that does not even exist anymore. So, they end up rejecting new

[02:03] things just because they don't understand it. So, what I did, I've did what society said. I went to college. I got me a master's degree. I became a nurse practitioner. I had a stable career. It was respectable. I made good

[02:16] money. I was doing everything they told me was right. And still, something felt off. And I was like, is this it? And I learned that it does not have to be. And so, that decision led me from making $90,000 in an entire year to making

[02:31] 90,000 every single month. So, when I talk about chasing money, I am not out here just saying stuff. I'm not guessing. I chase financial freedom. was in the Olympics, and I caught it.

[02:45] still hit me in the face. Why at this point do I still feel lost? Why do I feel heavy? Why do I feel like I'm not free? And right around that time, I learned something that changed my entire life. Most people are not stuck because

[02:59] they are lazy. I definitely was not lazy. But, the reason that most people are stuck is because they do not feel like they are in control. And this is everyone will tell you that all you need is discipline. Just do it. Just push

[03:14] through. Be consistent. And guess what? Discipline works until it doesn't. Because most of the discipline that people are using is borrowed. It is borrowed from fear. It is borrowed from shame. It is borrowed from trying to

[03:27] prove something. It's borrowed from deadlines. That's why people can have discipline for a season and then crash. But, control is different. Control is internal. It's awareness. It's regulation. It's choice. It sounds like

[03:43] I am in this moment right now, and I understand what's going on. I notice what I am doing. I can pause. I don't feel hijacked. And when you have control, discipline doesn't feel forced anymore. It actually follows. And I'm

[03:57] going to give you one of the realest examples of my life. It's one that I share often. At my heaviest, I was over 300 lb. And I ended up losing 140 lb. And I can hear my auntie saying right now, "Don't

[04:11] you can find it again." And I definitely don't want to find that. So, I'll just say I defeated those pounds. And that's why I can say it is not just about discipline all the time because most people would just really have you

[04:25] thinking that this all that you're missing. For me, it was emotional, it was trauma, it was stress, it was food, it was the relationship that I was taught to have with food throughout my life. It was also my mind. But one thing

[04:38] I can tell you for sure, my life did not change until I stopped feeling powerless in my own body. Because up until even when I was financially free, I was struggling. I was still trapped. So, money could not fix that. In fact, it

[04:51] actually made it worse because money made food more available to me. I had freedom to eat more, freedom to numb more, freedom to avoid more. But you control. Now, another thing that took me a long

[05:06] time to realize was that I was living in survival mode. And when you're in survival mode, you know that feeling when everything is urgent, everything feels heavy, everything feels like a threat. And you make decisions out of

[05:20] protection. You are no longer asking yourself, "Who do I become?" But you start asking yourself, "How do I protect what I already have?" One thing I can tell you is that survival mode may look productive, but it is exhausting. You

[05:33] can be busy every single day of your life and still not be moving forward. Because survival mode keeps you reacting to fear and pressure instead of choosing on purpose. But freedom, freedom is different. It is quieter, it is slower,

[05:49] it doesn't rush you. And one of the hardest shifts I had to make was learning how to go from survival mode to moving in intention. That meant letting go of urgency, letting go of proving, letting go of me trying to convince

[06:04] other people that my life made sense, and trusting myself enough to choose peace over panic. And that's why in 2026, right now, I need you to hear me when I say this. Stop chasing financial freedom like it is the finish line.

[06:20] Because you can be financially free, but still be a prisoner in your mind. And if your mind is in prison, your life is in prison, no matter how much money you make. But I didn't say this earlier. When it comes to me worrying about other

[06:35] people and trying to please people, one thing God does is he puts you in thing God does is he puts you in situations to have to face the things course, you can overcome them, especially if they're stopping you from

[06:49] reaching your fullest potential. And that's when I walked into the life of YouTube. YouTube changed my life more than just one way. Because let me tell you something, on YouTube, people will humble you real quick because they have

[07:01] opinions about everything, about your hair, about the way you are sitting, about the tone of your voice, the way you blink your eyes, the way you pout your lips. And so, in the very beginning of me starting YouTube, I would be a

[07:13] little sensitive to some of the comments that people would make. Although, throughout my life, it prepared me for this because I had walls up to already protect myself from the rejection that I used to feel. But even still, the little

[07:27] bit that I did feel from some comments that I would get, it made me think, is this still childhood trauma? Are these wounds that I'm facing? The rejection, the needing to be liked, it was still trying to run my life. So, something

[07:41] that I had to learn and somebody out there right now may need to hear this. Other people are allowed to feel however they feel, but I don't have to live inside of their feelings. Because when you live for other people's approval,

[07:54] you hand them your power and I was done giving my power away. But other than that, something else that I needed to learn was that you cannot take advice you are trying to go. Now, let's be

[08:07] real. How is someone who has never built anything going to tell you who have been out here building brick by brick what's possible? Sometimes people say no to things not because it's impossible, but because it's impossible for them. So,

[08:21] they place their limits on you or their fears. So, you just have to let that roll right on off. So, I told you this was over 30 years of lessons that I had lot, but I feel like I don't want to miss not one of them because at least

[08:37] something in here may be able to help you. And I'm currently out here at the Dead Sea and I felt like this message is so important, especially in this moment, because this place is known for release. And something that I wish that I would

[08:50] have known a little bit earlier when I was out here chasing success is that the real flex is actually peace. The real flex is going to bed and your chest is not tight. The real flex is being able to lay down and not have to replay every

[09:04] mistake that you have ever made in your life. The real flex is waking up and not needing to numb yourself to be able to get through the rest of the day. A good night's sleep is a sign that your soul is not at war with yourself. I'm telling

[09:16] you that I used to really be out here chasing all of these things and still not be okay. And something I really want to stress is that you need to also protect your peace. You do not have to subject yourself to anything, accept

[09:30] anything, put yourself in situations just because it's family. You do not have to stay in things just because you are a Christian. Peace is not selfish and boundaries are not a sin. Let me tell you something. Sometimes the most

[09:43] peaceful thing that you can do is step back. Sometimes you need to. So again, I know all of this is a lot, but if you walk away with just one thing from this, here it is. You are really going to become the person that you want to be

[09:56] when no one is looking. It's the private steps. It's the promises that you make to yourself and keep. The fastest way to build confidence is when you stop lying too because this is one of the realest things I've ever heard. You have to pray

[10:10] like it's up to God because it actually is, but you also have to work like it's up to you because that's important, too. We know that faith without works is just hope. And God will give you provisions, but sometimes that provision is just a

[10:24] seed and a seed won't grow unless you plant it and you water it. So yes, it took me over 30 years to realize that the life that I was chasing was not the goal. The goal was actually freedom. Freedom from people's opinion,

[10:40] freedom. Freedom from people's opinion, freedom from programming, freedom from fear controlling me, freedom from comfort, freedom from my own mind. And if you are watching this right now feeling like you are so behind, listen,

[10:52] you are not behind. You are just waking up. So I hope that this helped you out there. I'm about to go float in this Dead Sea so that I can release some more things and I need you to go out there and be great. Until next time.