Spitting on a Cybertruck

[00:01] It's very rare that in our lifetimes we see a vehicle be designed from nothing and come into fruition. fruition. This vehicle evokes a lot of emotions

[00:13] This vehicle evokes a lot of emotions for people and Yeah. But nevertheless, it has been a vehicle that has inserted itself into modern culture.

[00:28] modern culture. But can the vehicle itself be separated from the man behind it? Now, I have been a fan of Tesla since it began. I'm all for people creating new things. But as the years went by and we've seen

[00:44] But as the years went by and we've seen this in American history where magnates and captains of industry, the more successful they become, successful they become, the farther they seem to retreat from

[00:57] reality. Now, I'm thankful that we're able to Now, I'm thankful that we're able to witness the ascent and possibly descent Because the emotions that this thing reacts

[01:15] the motion the emotions that that people feel toward this truck are very very feel toward this truck are very very strong. So much so that I don't know if you can separate this from the man.

[01:29] from the man. To drive this car is to say that you To drive this car is to say that you love the idea of being ruled. You love love the idea of being ruled. You love the idea of bowing down to money.

[01:42] the idea of bowing down to money. You want to get on your knees and say that the unbelievable fat throbbing hyper [ __ ] of capitalism tastes good and

[01:54] the only thing you want more is for the boot to step on your face as you choke on its [ __ ] I don't think you understand how poor the build quality really is. This

[02:09] is a knife edge. Right here. This thing will literally cut yourself. I I could pierce my skin with the edges that are on this.

[02:22] If we had some produce or something, you could just see like a like a like a a cucumber or anything to represent human flesh. Like this is represent human flesh. Like this is literally scratching me. And

[02:43] so I don't wreck the bolstering of seats right like this. I grab the rails. But when you grab the rails, you're just grabbing stamped steel up like this.

[02:55] the There hasn't ever been a car this hateful to the human form. Yeah, when you go to grab the outside here this edge at least is beveled slightly. It's like, okay, they took

[03:13] deburred that piece of stainless steel. seeing that these things rust. Look at that. that. Look at this.

[03:34] You can get your fingernails underneath the DRLs. It's Oh, that's where we spit on it. Can't touch that. >> It's still there. Are you just going to keep it like that?

[03:47] Uh you know what? I'm a little bit of a proud brat badge. >> Okay. It's no worse than the fingerprints. Oh, that's right. Oh, it's like a DeLorean. It is not like

[04:01] a DeLorean. Uh I apologize. I am farting like crazy. This This panel just pulls away. This doesn't match. But again

[04:16] it's like this is just tech slop for people who don't care. It's like no matter how bad or how much I make fun of this car, the people who want to align themselves with brolegarchs

[04:32] won't care how bad it is because this is a sign because this is a sign This is a rolling signifier of their This is a rolling signifier of their obsequious bowing to those

[04:44] obsequious bowing to those whose net worth is equivalent to a small country. It's it's like the ultimate suck-up mobile. It's separate audio. Like

[04:57] Like a kid who stands near the teach This is a car for kids who stood near right next to the teacher at recess because they hoped it would suck-upness would

[05:13] would grant them uh favored nations later.

[05:29] And there's also a bit in the back that we didn't Okay.

[05:49] feet out of respect to you. All right. It's Cybertruck time. Oh, that's drive. That's reverse. So we're in reverse.

[06:03] Okay. >> Instantly the Oh, this my my yoke is heated. I do like a heated steering wheel.

[06:17] [ __ ] you. Where How do I turn my my heated steering yoke off? Two menus. Two menus. All right. All right. So imagine Uh where's my there? Imagine you're doing

[06:30] the disco. Which way does your right hand go? Right. It goes up, right? Uh-huh. So bottom one left, top one right. Wait, what? So on the steering >> Yep. Got you.

[06:44] It's it's just a spoiled rich kid who hangs out with comedians and thinks he's funny, too. This is my first drive-by-wire anything.

[06:56] I am in a very wide vehicle that's very very twitchy. I have enormous blind spots here. I don't even have the rearview mirror there. I got to look down there. The

[07:09] world is behind me. The the world is fake. Any sort of opposition that I have to anything is represented without depth of field, without depth perception. Other people in my life the the pedestrians and Oh,

[07:27] the the pedestrians and Oh, okay. All right, Philly. Here we go. is quick. You lose anything back there? No, I just

[07:41] my elbow hit the Again, I keep looking up here for a there. And I can't look You literally check. You have to drive as if you are driving

[07:55] a a Penske truck or something. Is this yours? >> That's mine. That's for the mirror. So Let me show you. So They give you this mirror. Yeah.

[08:08] though, if you were to turn your head and look in the back, you can't see outside anyways because the the cover's down. Uh-huh. So you're forced to either run it with the cover open, which apparently hits your fuel economy,

[08:22] or you got to use the digital. Now, okay. All that's fine. You can live with that. But the biggest issue is if you have a long load and the tailgate's down, like if I have to carry like plywood Yeah. then

[08:35] you're looking at the ground. Oh, no. >> So you are now just driving a box truck. Right. Can't open your glove box without going through a menu. No.

[08:52] Th- This is a car for people totally devoid of the human experience. Cybertruck two cars behind us?

[09:06] Yep, there is. I should flip I should flip him off from here from this car. Do it. And just look back >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, all four of us though.

[09:19] No, all four of us though. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn it, this sucks.

[09:33] but I'm still I'm still going to flip him off.

[09:51] Yeah, there are no There's no oh [ __ ] handles. None. yeah. It's interesting your battery life doesn't say how many miles you have left. If you tap on it. The battery There you go. Oh, okay.

[10:05] Yeah, one of the more unhinged things that they added uh in the recent times is Grok. So, you can just be in your car having a with Grok. >> With Grok.

[10:17] Just getting your own echo chamber feedback loop the entire time. Yep. where uh someone called in and he said the caller says, "I'm worried about my dad because he was telling me he's having

[10:30] spiritual experiences with AI." I'm like, "Oh, no." It's It's actually becoming more and more prevalent. Just people like almost psychosis-induced >> It's like those of us who grew up before all of this, we know that like it's just

[10:44] all fake. And I'm so excited. >> It's not real. Yeah. And there's no no >> No. Oh, this the big ass [ __ ] wiper. >> And it And it makes the windshield worse.

[11:00] And the jets are in it. It's like you have your own, you know, homeless guy coming by to clean >> Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't spray the entire time. It only sprays on the upstroke. Mhm. So, on the downstroke, it strokes

[11:14] And it just smears stuff. It literally is like a like a the homeless person All right, no one behind me and just him in front of me, so it's

[11:26] It It It's moving in ways it shouldn't. But then, I have no confidence in the build quality, so I'm not going to attempt to whip this in any way. I think that's why you're not doing self-driving. No. Well, first of all, I

[11:39] don't know what menu I have to go through to do it. Yeah, where is there? Yeah. It says start. >> start. Like I think if we didn't have a direction and we wanted to make go left,

[11:52] the turn signal >> on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, there's there's your double. Mhm. Sure, but like you're still going to get this. >> And then that's not enough. Yeah.

[12:06] No, you're supposed to wear your Black Rifle Coffee hat to shield it from the sun. Or a hat that has the American flag, but the flag stripes is just different uh calibers and ammunition, different

[12:20] calibers and ammunition, different rounds. seen with this? >> Yeah.