Are Assassins Just International Ninjas?
41sThe host's humorous take on Assassin's Creed remakes and ninjas creates shareable meme potential.
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[00:00] Hello everybody. July is here or almost
[00:02] here or possibly well underway already.
[00:04] Whenever you're watching this, hopefully
[00:06] you've got the time to play some video
[00:07] games because there are some brand new
[00:09] ones on the way. Here are July 2026's
[00:12] biggest game releases.
[00:22] Before we get started, just a friendly
[00:24] reminder that we do our very best to
[00:25] make these videos as accurate as
[00:27] possible, but release dates are subject
[00:29] to change. whether it's because of a
[00:30] sudden delay or perhaps a lastminute
[00:32] launch date announcement. Also,
[00:34] sometimes we forget a game or get some
[00:35] details wrong. So, for best results,
[00:37] always check your local listings. And
[00:39] please be kind. We're only human. Now,
[00:41] on to the games. On July 2nd, Groove is
[00:44] in the heart. And also on Nintendo
[00:46] Switch, Rhythm Heaven Groove. That is
[00:48] the long overdue new installment in the
[00:50] quirky musical button matcher features
[00:51] more than 80 mini games and you can play
[00:53] with up to three friends at once. On
[00:56] July 7th, if you're not quite done
[00:57] ripping and tearing until it is done,
[00:59] well, neither was ID. Doom the Dark Ages
[01:02] gets a major expansion in the form of
[01:04] Revelations, which adds new story
[01:05] content, new enemies, and a new weapon
[01:07] in the form of a hella sick chain spear.
[01:10] Gnarly, that is on everything that Doom:
[01:11] The Dark Ages is already out for. Still,
[01:14] that day is Moonlight Peaks on both
[01:15] Switches and PC. This is a nocturnal
[01:18] sanguinarian spin on Stardew Valley in
[01:20] which you play as Dracula's kid, and I'm
[01:22] guessing the old man isn't too thrilled
[01:23] on your career choice. Is there a bigger
[01:26] insult to a bloodrinking nobleman than
[01:27] to spend your time toiling like a
[01:29] peasant growing vegetables? Well,
[01:31] possibly falling in love with a
[01:32] backpacking doofus, voiced by Andy
[01:34] Samberg, but that's a whole other story.
[01:36] Speaking of awesome, that cape thing is
[01:38] killing it. If being a vampire farmer
[01:41] sounds stupid and you think you're too
[01:43] edgy and cool for that, on July 9th, you
[01:45] can be a pirate ninja instead in
[01:47] Assassin's Creed Black Flag Reynct. As
[01:50] I'm sure you're well aware, this is a
[01:51] groundup remake of the fan favorite
[01:53] entry in Ubisoft's historically accurate
[01:55] parkour murder simulator. Aside from the
[01:57] obvious visual overhaul, this adds a
[01:59] slew of quality of life improvements and
[02:01] some new story content as well. That
[02:03] one's on Xbox Series, PS5, and PC. And I
[02:06] don't care what anyone says, assassins
[02:07] are just international ninjas. Italian
[02:10] ninjas, Egyptian ninjas. They're just
[02:12] ninjas from different places that aren't
[02:14] Japan, except for that one where they're
[02:15] from Japan, in which case that's just a
[02:17] regular ass ninja. Still that day is
[02:19] backyard baseball the first new entry in
[02:21] the superdeformed sports series since
[02:23] 2015 which lets you engage in that great
[02:25] all-American pastime by controlling a
[02:27] gaggle of barely humanoid avatars voiced
[02:30] by a star-studded cast that includes
[02:32] Mark Maguire and Sammy Sosa. If I
[02:34] encountered one of these horrid things
[02:35] in real life and it opened its mouth and
[02:37] spoke to me with an adult man's voice, I
[02:39] don't think I could continue to function
[02:40] in society after that. Anyway, that's on
[02:43] Mac and PC with console versions on the
[02:45] way at some point. Okay, let's do this.
[02:49] >> If you're repulsed by the idea of a
[02:50] baseball game about cartoon children,
[02:52] perhaps a football game about n
[02:54] photorealistic college students is a
[02:55] slight improvement, maybe. Well, in any
[02:57] case, you can toss around the old pig
[02:59] skin with members of your alma moater in
[03:01] EA Sports College Football 27, which is
[03:03] on Xbox Series, PS5, and PC. If you
[03:06] rolled credits on Grand Blue Fantasy
[03:08] Relink and found yourself disappointed
[03:10] by its depressingly finite amounts of
[03:12] Ragnarok, well, great news because Grand
[03:14] Blue Fantasy Relink endless Ragnarok is
[03:17] a major expansion that includes plenty
[03:19] of new content. And based on the title,
[03:21] it's also an all you can eat smores
[03:23] board of a Norse styled apocalypse. Or
[03:25] maybe it's just a cool sounding subtitle
[03:27] for a JRPG. I don't know. That one's on
[03:29] both PlayStation Switch 2 and PC. On
[03:32] July 10th, Digimon Story Time Stranger
[03:34] comes to Switch 2. Now, mind you, it's
[03:36] imperative you put the colon in the
[03:38] right place in this title because
[03:39] otherwise it sounds like Digimon
[03:41] Storytime Stranger, which sounds like
[03:42] some sort of suspicious interloper in
[03:44] the children's section of a public
[03:45] library. And apologies have already made
[03:47] that joke when this game was released
[03:49] last year for Xbox Series, PS5, and PC.
[03:52] Also on the 10th is Echoes of Einr, an
[03:54] allnew action RPG based on the anime
[03:57] Sword Art Online, which ironically is a
[03:59] single player game and presumably
[04:00] doesn't require you to be online to play
[04:02] it. So, I guess it's more like Sword Art
[04:04] Offline. Either way, that is on PS5,
[04:06] Xbox Series, and PC. Usually, rogue
[04:08] lights cause time to speed up because
[04:10] you get sucked into a feedback loop and
[04:11] keep saying one more run. But on the
[04:13] 13th, you can do some time meddling of
[04:15] your own in Ascend to Zero, an isometric
[04:18] action rogike with some neat time
[04:20] manipulation mechanics. That one's on
[04:22] Xbox Series and PC. If you'd prefer
[04:24] something a little more grounded,
[04:26] there's forensics, Crime Scene
[04:27] Detective, which will let you carefully
[04:29] examine the ground and the walls and
[04:31] other surfaces in a place where
[04:32] something very bad happened. Are there
[04:34] bodily fluids on everything? Probably,
[04:36] but it's up to you to find out what kind
[04:38] of bodily fluids exactly and also
[04:40] probably solve a crime or something like
[04:42] that. That one's on Xbox Series, PS5,
[04:44] and PC. On the 15th is The Mound: Omen
[04:47] of Cthulhu, a Lovecraftian, and
[04:49] firstperson co-op survival horror that
[04:51] will mess with you and your friends
[04:52] heads by distorting your perceptions of
[04:54] reality the further into it you venture.
[04:56] That one's on Xbox Series, PS5, and PC.
[05:00] If you want to distort your perception
[05:02] of video games about trains from
[05:03] relaxing simulations enjoyed by
[05:05] mildmannered railway enthusiasts into
[05:07] something completely extreme that should
[05:09] appeal to loud people with backwards
[05:11] hats. Dense Attack is a literal training
[05:13] sim that is even more literally off the
[05:15] rails. I probably told you about this
[05:17] game last month, but it got delayed to
[05:19] July 15th. That's on the newer consoles
[05:21] and PC. If you want to play a baseball
[05:23] game that features realistic human
[05:25] beings playing in an actual regulation
[05:27] stadium, not just weird big-headed
[05:29] warlocks waddling around in a vacant
[05:31] lot, well, you're in luck because
[05:32] eBaseball Pro Spirit looks like a
[05:34] nononsense sports sim that captures all
[05:36] of the thrills of the old ball game.
[05:38] That one's on PS5 and PC. A day later,
[05:41] there's Heaveho 2, the follow-up to the
[05:43] hit 2019 physics-based party game, which
[05:46] now features online co-op in addition to
[05:48] offline and a bunch of new gadgets that
[05:50] should make the experience even more
[05:52] hilariously frustrating or perhaps
[05:54] frustratingly hilarious. That's on both
[05:56] Switches and PC. Still on July 16th,
[05:59] also on both Switches and PC, is Cold
[06:01] Sept Begins, the first new entry in the
[06:03] Card Battler RPG dating back to the Sega
[06:05] Saturn that hasn't had a new installment
[06:07] in a decade. What is Cold Sept, you ask?
[06:10] Well, I looked it up and apparently it
[06:11] is a port manto of cold and concept. I
[06:14] called it told you that. If you want to
[06:16] get some exercise or work out some
[06:18] aggression or potentially just break a
[06:20] lamp for fun, there's fitness boxing 3,
[06:22] your personal trainer on Switch 2. If
[06:24] you'd rather only simulate getting some
[06:26] exercise because it's too damn hot out
[06:28] to be jumping around breaking lamps,
[06:30] look no further than Instant Sports 2.
[06:32] That is a casual pick upandplay
[06:34] collection of 10 sports mini games which
[06:36] can be played instantly by one to four
[06:38] players on PS5 and Switch. Meanwhile, on
[06:41] PC, there's Hyper Primeate, which looks
[06:43] sort of like Donkey Kong 64. If Donkey
[06:45] Kong 64 was an ultraviolent firstperson
[06:47] shooter about speedrunning levels using
[06:49] nauseatingly fast parkour skills.
[06:52] There's also Happyy's Humble Burgatory,
[06:54] which looks sort of like Overcooked. If
[06:56] Overcooked was an ultraviolent
[06:57] firstperson co-op survival horror game
[06:59] about running a fast food restaurant and
[07:01] also running away from that thing. If
[07:03] you want to go viral in the literal
[07:05] sense, Pathogenic is a roglike shooter
[07:07] where you play as a germ trying to
[07:09] infect a human host. If you'd rather
[07:11] play as a human in a time before anyone
[07:12] knew germs existed, there's the guild
[07:14] Europa 1410, an economic sim where you
[07:17] climb the social ranks in the Middle
[07:18] Ages without ever washing your hands.
[07:20] Both of those are on PC. Leaving early
[07:23] access on PC that day and launching for
[07:25] all the other new consoles is Ratatan,
[07:27] which is kind of like Patapon, but with
[07:28] Rattas and Tans instead of PAS and
[07:31] pawns. I don't really know much about
[07:33] Patapon, but when I started working at
[07:34] IGN way back in 2015, they gave me Greg
[07:37] Miller's old desk, and all that was in
[07:38] it was a handle of rum, a 2 L bottle of
[07:41] orange soda, half a dozen PSPs in
[07:43] various states of disrepair, and a
[07:45] single copy of Patapon. What does it
[07:47] mean? Besides special effects, one thing
[07:49] that made Star Wars stand out when it
[07:51] was first released in 1977 was that
[07:53] unlike the sterile, squeaky clean look
[07:55] of earlier sci-fi films, this galaxy
[07:57] far, Far Away had a distinctively grimy
[07:59] used future aesthetic. But if you're a
[08:01] neat freak and can't stand that
[08:02] disgusting mess, the Powerwash Simulator
[08:05] 2 Star Wars pack lets you blast the
[08:06] scum, villain, carbon scoring, and
[08:08] mediclorans off a variety of grebly
[08:11] covered surfaces. That's on everything
[08:12] that Powerwash Simulator 2 is already
[08:14] out for. On July 20th, there's Raccoons
[08:17] to Riches, a roglike deck builder in
[08:19] which you play as a raccoon wearing
[08:20] old-timey attire and managing a
[08:22] business. I was about to talk some crap
[08:24] about putting clothes on a raccoon, and
[08:26] then I remember that I've had a stuffed
[08:28] raccoon wearing a Hawaiian shirt and
[08:29] sunglasses on my living room wall for
[08:31] almost 15 years. So, maybe I should make
[08:33] like the varmint in this game and mind
[08:35] my own business. Which, fun fact is what
[08:37] you call a group of ferrets. A group of
[08:40] raccoons is called a gays. And anyone
[08:42] who tells you otherwise on a podcast is
[08:44] a fool and a liar. I'm not going to name
[08:45] names here. On July 23rd, there's
[08:48] Disgaya Mayhem, which puts a real-time
[08:50] action focused spin on the combat in the
[08:53] traditionally orderly turn-based JRPG
[08:55] series. That's on PS5, both Switches,
[08:57] and PC. Exclusively on Switch 2, there
[09:00] is Splatoon Raiders, a single player
[09:02] take on Nintendo's hit series about
[09:04] teenage seephalopod vandals, which you
[09:06] can also play co-op with your poorly
[09:08] behaved, disgusting human friends. On
[09:10] Switch One and PC, there's Helix Descent
[09:12] and Ascent, which is a neat
[09:14] monochromatic puzzle adventure game.
[09:16] Elsewhere in the realm of mostly black
[09:17] and white games, there's the Boss Rush
[09:19] sidescroller, Guray. And finally, if you
[09:22] want to point at and possibly click on
[09:23] some dinosaurs, Therapods is a wordless
[09:26] prehistoric adventure game that looks to
[09:27] have some old school Lucas Art
[09:29] sensibilities, though hopefully its
[09:30] puzzle logic isn't quite as obtuse.
[09:33] Those last two are just on PC for now.
[09:36] On the 24th, there's an extremely hard
[09:38] game, a co-op physics game that looks
[09:40] like a shell of a good time, assuming
[09:42] nobody cracks under pressure since that
[09:44] might ruffle some feathers. Look, I'm
[09:46] clearly not having my best egg and bird
[09:48] pun, so I'm let this one go. That's on
[09:51] PC. On the 27th, there's Skills and
[09:54] Raids, a party-based extraction RPG
[09:56] where you have to manage your team
[09:58] members abilities and cool downs in real
[09:59] time. And this game has some really cool
[10:01] art, but man, maybe workshop that title.
[10:04] I'm not sure if this is an SEO or
[10:05] algorithm play, but it kind of reminds
[10:07] me of those businesses that name
[10:08] themselves common search terms like
[10:10] Breakfast Restaurant near me. Anyway, if
[10:12] you want to play a game that has skills
[10:14] and also raids, skills and raids has
[10:16] skills and also raids and it's on PC. If
[10:19] you'd like to revisit a classic game
[10:21] from the turn of the century with a
[10:23] fresh coat of current gen paint, look no
[10:25] further than Halo Campaign Evolved. This
[10:27] is a complete overhaul of Bungie's
[10:29] seminal shooter rebuilt in Unreal Engine
[10:31] 5 with a dash of brand new content and
[10:33] some features that weren't in the
[10:34] original, like being able to play the
[10:36] entire campaign in third person. As the
[10:38] title suggests, this is just the
[10:40] campaign, which is unfortunate
[10:41] considering how beloved that multiplayer
[10:43] was. That one's on Xbox Series, PC, and
[10:46] >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait,
[10:48] wait wait wait wait wait.
[10:49] >> PlayStation 5. Halo is on PlayStation 5.
[10:51] I can't. That's weird. It just feels
[10:53] weird to say.
[10:54] >> I lost something once.
[10:57] I lost something I couldn't live
[10:59] without.
[11:01] My identity.
[11:03] >> Congratulations, Halo. You're on PS5.
[11:05] That's I'm not against it. It's just
[11:06] It's just strange. If you want to
[11:08] revisit another beloved game released in
[11:10] late November 2001, and that recent
[11:12] Gothic remake didn't cut it for you, you
[11:14] can also play the original RPG that day
[11:17] in Gothic Classic. That one's hitting
[11:19] all the PlayStations and Xboxes on July
[11:21] 28th, and it's been on Switch since
[11:23] 2023, and it's been on PC since 2001, I
[11:26] guess. Still on the 28th on PC and Xbox
[11:29] series is Go North, a cozy adventure
[11:31] centered around mazes and puzzles. And
[11:33] man, this month's episode really seemed
[11:35] like it was going to be a breeze. And
[11:36] then Steam Nextfest went and happened
[11:38] when I was midscript, and suddenly the
[11:39] script got a lot longer. On the 29th,
[11:42] Mistfall Hunter hits PC, Xbox Series,
[11:44] and PS5, which is a dark fantasy
[11:46] extraction RPG. So, kind of a solid
[11:48] blend between the tense PvP gameplay
[11:50] loop of something like Tarov or Marathon
[11:52] or Arc Raiders, but with a heavy
[11:53] Soulslike influence. And it might sound
[11:55] like a combination of two things we
[11:57] already have a whole lot of, but there's
[11:58] quite a bit of positive buzz for this
[12:00] one after a recent beta. On July 30th,
[12:03] there's Kusan City of Wolves, which
[12:05] clearly has some Hotline Miami DNA, but
[12:07] swaps out the 80s synth wave for Korean
[12:09] hiphop and looks to have a bit more
[12:11] customization to suit different play
[12:12] styles. That one's on both PlayStations,
[12:14] the newer Xboxes, Switch, and PC.
[12:17] Still that day, there's Trxton Extreme.
[12:19] That is a modern spin on the classic
[12:21] Schmup series that's been lying dormant
[12:23] for the last 30 years. And now you can
[12:25] keep on Truckton on all the newer
[12:26] consoles and PC. Meanwhile, Xenolade
[12:29] Chronicles 2 gets an enhanced Switch 2
[12:31] version that day as well. On the 31st,
[12:34] there's Corsair Cove, an intricate city
[12:36] builder that's all about designing and
[12:37] running a shanty town of the Sea Shanty
[12:40] variety, namely a safe haven for
[12:42] pirates. As a '90s kid who grew up in
[12:44] the golden age of pirate Lego sets and
[12:46] the heyday of watching Hook repeatedly
[12:48] on VHS, this looks gorgeous and I
[12:50] applaud any game that puts out a
[12:51] screenshot highlighting that you can
[12:53] drink beer on a roof with a pig. I would
[12:56] do that. That looks like a great time.
[12:58] It's probably unsafe in a variety of
[13:00] ways, but I don't give a St. On the 31st
[13:02] is The Relic: The First Guardian, a dark
[13:05] fantasy action RPG with a heavy emphasis
[13:07] on dark. The combat looks cool, at least
[13:10] what you can make out. But hey, if you
[13:12] could figure out what was going on in
[13:13] those epic battles in that final season
[13:15] of Game of Thrones, you should be able
[13:16] to figure this one out, too. That one's
[13:18] on PS5 and PC with Switch and Xbox
[13:20] versions coming later on. Finally, Paw
[13:23] Patrol Dino World sends those adorable
[13:25] first responder dogs to an island full
[13:28] of dinosaurs. I don't know, guys, this
[13:30] seems kind of like a bad idea. A lot of
[13:31] those dinosaurs eat meat, and they would
[13:33] probably eat the dogs. I feel like this
[13:35] would be a lot less acceptable if they
[13:36] did this with a live action property.
[13:38] Like if they did like an Airbuddies
[13:39] where they go to Jurassic World.
[13:41] Actually, I would rather watch that than
[13:42] Paw Patrol. That sounds like it would be
[13:44] weird. Anyway, who cares what I think?
[13:46] You can help these public servants rack
[13:48] up some fraudulent overtime into
[13:49] Jurassic jurisdiction on everything but
[13:51] Xbox One. Last but not least, Treyarch
[13:54] is threatening to re-release the
[13:56] original Calls of Duty Black Ops 1 and 2
[13:59] on PS4 and 5 sometime this month. They
[14:02] didn't give an exact release date, but
[14:03] they posted two images of men
[14:05] brandishing firearms menacingly, so I
[14:07] think we should take them seriously. I
[14:09] think they mean business. Folks, we did
[14:11] it. I managed to tell you about all
[14:13] these upcoming games coming out in the
[14:15] month of July, which I recently learned,
[14:16] but have always known in my heart is
[14:18] National Hot Dog Month. That's the way
[14:20] you like it.
[14:21] >> Extra mustard.
[14:24] If you're hearing me say this, that
[14:25] means you sat through me talking about
[14:27] all of these games and making my
[14:29] annoying aides, and I didn't annoy you
[14:30] so much that you turned it off and went
[14:32] and watched something else instead. So,
[14:33] thank you for that. As always, a huge
[14:35] thanks to everyone who helped this video
[14:36] come together, Amanda Medina, Logan
[14:38] Plant, and Chris Del Padre. And an even
[14:40] bigger thanks to you for watching. It
[14:42] would be weird if we made these videos
[14:43] and no one watched them. That would be
[14:45] sad. This year is only halfway over, and
[14:47] there have been quite a few major game
[14:48] releases already, but they are only just
[14:50] now starting to really ramp up. and we
[14:52] are putting together a huge look ahead
[14:54] at 2026's biggest game releases still to
[14:57] come. So, keep an eye out for that one.
[14:58] It's going to be a doozy. And in the
[15:00] meantime, I will see you next month for
[15:02] whatever's coming out in August. I don't
[15:04] even know what's coming out in August. I
[15:05] didn't look, but there's going to be
[15:06] some games. See you later.
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