The YouTuber Who Made a Real Anime.

[00:08] videos. I mean, when I started this, never expected to get this many subscribers. I hope you all continue to enjoy my reviews and I hope I get to >> I've been working on this for a freaking year now. So, I have put quite a bit of

[00:21] >> I wanted to try doing something that I really enjoy doing and seeing if I can guys stick with me through this journey I'm about to take in my life. But to properly get my points across, I wanted to tell you a story. It's my story.

[00:47] project come true? [music] Like many of you, I discovered anime when I was a lot younger. And like a few of you probably thought it would be a kick-ass thing to make my own one day.

[01:00] But eventually I grew up and reality kicked in. I came to terms with my negative art skills and found other ways to show my passion that would eventually blossom into a career. >> Do you know what a YouTube is?

[01:13] >> From then on, my relationship with anime changed permanently. This was no longer changed permanently. This was no longer just a hobby for me. This was my job. But as my career grew, there was still that one [music] unobtainable dream I

[01:25] held on to. Even though I'm just a YouTuber, even though I'm just a [music] YouTuber, even though I'm just a [music] fan, what if I could make my own anime? I wrote a screenplay, pitched it to a real anime studio in Japan and got the

[01:39] chance to work with real veterans in the industry to bring my vision into a reality. And the final result was an 18minute short film, Barn, The Boundaries of Adulthood. [music] But what we rarely get to see behind the

[01:53] screens, behind the story, is what does it take to finish a creative endeavor like this. What [music] is it like to actually be a creator? This isn't a documentary on how anime is made. This is my diary of everything I poured into

[02:07] this one project. My experience, my feelings, [music] my insecurity, everything a creator goes through when making a project like this. [music] where inspiration comes from, how ideas evolve, just how much you have to

[02:20] sacrifice, and what it's like seeing it all come together. [music] I want to show you guys everything. For the world, it was 18 [music] minutes, but for me, it was 2 years of my life. All to make [music] a little boy's dream come true.

[02:37] This is the story of how I made an anime. anime was an incredibly expensive venture that I could not do without the

[02:53] help of all of the sponsorships that I have taken on my YouTube channel for the past 2 years, which is why I'm very happy and glad to say that this [music] Displate offers a wide range of metal

[03:07] posters with vibrant, highquality prints constructed from durable steel. I actually got to choose some of my favorite ones from their store and I had so many different designs from so many different IPs. This includes officially

[03:21] brands. For anime, they've got licensed designs from shows like Free Ren, Gundam, One Piece, [music] Dandan, JJK, Fate, and loads more. And if none of the option of uploading your own custom designs as well. So, you just saw one of

[03:36] the arcane posters I chose, but I also am a big fan of Elder Ring as well. So, of course, I was going to get an Elder Ring poster. And I'm also very excited with Displate, and we are [music] developing some barn display plates as

[03:50] business days for your posters to arrive once you order them. And when they do minutes. The magnetic [music] mounting system requires no tools, screws, or nails. That means no damage to your walls. And once the magnets are up, you

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[04:17] gigup for 33% off one or two disc plates and 38% off if you buy three or more. Thank you very much to Display Plate for sponsoring me today. And with that said, sponsoring me today. And with that said, I hope you guys enjoy this documentary.

[04:37] anime reviews to moving to Japan to making their own real anime projects? Well, it all started right here in the trash taste office. The messy trash

[04:50] taste office. Jesus Christ, this place is a dump. >> Do you remember? I think [music] it was 2 or 3 years ago. mailin like pops in. She mentioned that Katakawa had [music] some like excess budget that year or

[05:04] excess like funds that they wanted to maybe put into some experimental [music] animation project. Meen was just pitching us ideas like a trash taste the idea of a trash taste anime opening as something a bit cheesy and gimmicky

[05:19] for our [music] brand. But there was something here, specifically here. I for me personally, it's always been my [\h__\h] dream just to make an anime. You

[05:32] was like, h, I think I see an opportunity here. An opportunity to do something that most anime fans could only ever daydream about. I had no ideas, no experience, no artistic talent

[05:45] to speak of. But I felt like if I let this opportunity slip by, I would never get this chance [music] again. So, I raised my hand. Actually, I want to do something. I said, I want to make an anime short film. And Bailey was like,

[05:59] an idea?" >> I reply, "No." an idea, you can pitch something." What's the deadline? I asked 2 and 1/2 months. [music] And right then I realized there might be a problem. We

[06:15] were going on tour [cheering] in America for 2 months, leaving me with two weeks to write a screenplay, having never written a screenplay in my life, about this hypothetical anime with no idea what it was going to be about to one of

[06:29] the most established anime companies in the industry. No problem, I replied confidently, knowing full well that this sounded like an issue future me would have to deal with. [\h__\h] you, passed me. So, I needed an idea fast. Kakawa is a

[06:44] juggernaut in the anime space that produces every range of anime you can think of. [music] But if there's one genre they do make and they make a hell of a lot of, >> it's E isai. They have some of the most

[06:56] popular, well-known, and decorated titles under their umbrella while producing heaps of new ones every year. So I thought if there was a genre of story that had the highest chance of getting green lit, it was this. And it

[07:08] was for that reason I chose to make an issue. and only that reason. Absolutely no other reason regarding my likes and tastes. But if you're not familiar with the world of anime, isekai has a certain reputation I wanted to avoid. I didn't

[07:23] I wanted to approach it from a different angle. Isseekai is all about getting transported to another world, very often a fantasy world where a character goes defeat a demon lord. Maybe they're just out there chilling. Or maybe they're

[07:36] just drowning some hot anime elf [\h__\h] But if there's one aspect of isekai I rarely get to see, it's this idea of when the protagonist gets to come home protagonist gets to return to their original world. But I hadn't seen

[07:51] [music] that excitement of coming home for the first time after being away from it for so long. And as someone who grew up in multiple different cultures, living in multiple different countries, it was a

[08:06] multiple different countries, it was a feeling that I was really familiar with. That was it. That was my angle. Here's the idea. My isekai world would be people can travel freely between them. More akin to traveling a country before

[08:20] commodity. I'd use my experience of what it was like moving to a different country and adjusting to a new culture and try to portray that through the protagonist. I wasn't 100% sure of the journey they take, but I did have a

[08:34] concrete idea about the feelings I wanted the ending to portray. And [music] with that in mind, with time running out, all I could really do was just sit down and write. And that's what I did. No plan. I just locked myself in

[08:48] a room for two weeks and tried to put all my feelings on paper that could be crafted into a story. And this is it. My very first screenplay. Untitled anime isekai short film. [music] 2 weeks of my

[09:02] blood, sweat, and tears poured into this. And it sucked cuz of course it did. I had no idea how what I was doing. And I couldn't learn that in two weeks. It was about this guy

[09:17] looking for a three-letter name because I really wanted a short name as I would be typing that name out multiple times on the screenplay and that name popped apparently [music] Japanese and Welsh origins. So cool.

[09:33] >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> S moves to this fantasy world and has a hard time adjusting to life there. Then he finds out his mom died and he comes

[09:45] back home to realize that home is never going to be the same again. It was a mess. It barely had any structure. It had unlikable characters and I was so engrossed in crafting this emotional scene that I forgot I had to write a

[09:58] competent story around it. Unsurprisingly, I never heard back from Katakawa. But even though I'd written complete [music] garbage my first time, I had a lot of fun. >> Were you proud of it at the time? At the

[10:12] time, I was definitely proud of it. I still really liked the ending scene of it. Back then, I just didn't realize how bad the leadup to the ending was.

[10:29] to come here today. Been a big [music] fan for all your work. So, I wanted to personally say thank you. So, I was filming a video where I interviewed the up by Twin Engine who are the production company behind anime like Dodoo Door,

[10:42] Hell's Paradise, Shikonoko, and of course Vin Saga season 2. So, I was just having a casual conversation behind the scenes with some of the staff members, and I off-handedly mentioned that it would be cool to make an anime short

[10:56] coincidence, [music] there was a producer there who heard me. there was a producer there who heard me. And then they asked me,

[11:08] actually already have an entire screenplay. [laughter]

[11:22] revisions I need to do before I'm ready to submit it. And by revisions, I actually meant rewriting the entire thing from scratch.

[11:38] I [\h__\h] hate you. Pass me. That's fine though. Plenty of time. It was not like I was in the middle of one of the busiest years of my life or anything.

[11:52] Europe lined up for another tour. [music] mistakes. Every free moment I had on tour, I was just reading screenplays.

[12:05] screenplays of movies I like, screenplays of different shows, screenplays of anime even. I was just trying to absorb as much information as I could. I watched YouTube tutorials on writing, creating characters, world

[12:19] building. I was going to plan every single story beat before I put a single word on paper. But most importantly, there was one big change that would infinitely increase the chances of this particular project being green lit. All

[12:34] the research I did led me to one conclusion. I think this needs a cute anime girl in it. So, I added a new character. Her name was going to be Ren. Why Ren? I don't know. Something about the name Ren just appealed to me. I

[12:48] couldn't exactly tell you what it is. I just think Ren is a beautiful and simple [music] name. There's no deeper meaning about it. There's no deeper meaning. I didn't think too deeply about it. I just went with how I felt. And at that exact

[13:02] moment, it just felt right. >> I was also looking for another to suck, right? [laughter] >> How the [\h__\h] did you know? >> I would keep die. But now, what if I tell a dual story? A human moving to a

[13:15] fantasy world and a being from a fantasy world moving to Earth. I could japose would both find different personal answers. Dy would find his home in the place he moved to, and Ren would realize that the place he feels most at home is

[13:29] where she came from. But I'd need their stories to intersect in the middle stories to intersect in the middle somehow. But how? Wait, my parents basically mirrored Dy story. They moved to England and built

[13:42] their new life there where they had me. What if they're related? Dy is the father and Ren is actually mirroring the journey her dad took when he was her age. Bingo. So, I had the story idea mapped out and all that was left to do

[13:56] was just write. And this was going to It was so far out when I got the deadline that I knew Christmas was going to be the only time I could do anything about this project. This wasn't the

[14:10] first Christmas that we didn't spend with family. But this definitely was the with family. But this definitely was the first Christmas that I barely got to see first Christmas that I barely got to see Sydney. Um, and she barely got to see me

[14:22] >> I did not see Gart a lot that Christmas holiday. A lot of it if I really wanted to be by him, I just kind of like started reading manga next to him on the wouldn't talk to him. I just be in the same vicinity of him and honestly that

[14:37] >> The only thing that kept me from burning out was the fact that I just enjoyed every little bit of this process. >> When you see your partner feel like like besides you just want to support them. She's just an amazing wife, an

[14:54] amazing person. I couldn't have asked for someone more supportive because she for someone more supportive because she said, "This is your dream. [music] I can sacrifice this one Christmas if you shoot for your dreams." And this is the

[15:08] result of all that untitled isekai project. This is technically a V3. I made it in time just about and I submitted it and then I waited

[15:21] submitted it and then I waited and I waited and I waited a little more and I waited and I waited a little more and then I thought, ah, you know, some things just aren't meant to be and that's okay. And then they called me in

[15:35] that's okay. And then they called me in for a meeting. So, I have just gotten for a meeting. So, I have just gotten out of a very long meeting with Twin Engine and they told me

[15:48] and they told me yes, it's really happening. I'm actually making my own anime.

[16:19] became a monk at when I was a kid. I remember going in every morning. I'd do remember going in every morning. I'd do my prayers here, meditate here, and it's my prayers here, meditate here, and it's surreal being back cuz it looks exactly

[16:34] how like I remember it. Home is always been such a weird concept for me because I don't think I've truly ever felt attached to one singular place or had a

[16:46] country I really called my home. I have always kind of just drifted from one place to another, kind of like trying to find my home in every place I go to. >> I have a Thai mom and dad and I was born and raised in England, but I was the

[17:03] only Asian kid in the area I grew up in. [music] And even though I had friends, I had a happy childhood, some part of me always still felt like an outsider marker. But then when I go to Thailand, I also couldn't shake this feeling

[17:16] I also couldn't shake this feeling [music] of being out of place.

[17:35] And that's why I think I rarely speak Thai when I'm on camera. >> deep down. >> I know I'm secretly scared of being judged by any Thai person watching it. Maybe not completely consciously, but

[17:53] kind of. >> Something about that scares me. because I still feel a really close connection to the country. >> What is Thai culture to you? >> Thai culture aside from the music or the

[18:11] Muay Thai or, you know, anything else the cameras see. is going [music] to visit your grandma and

[18:27] she cooks way too much food for you and she constantly [music] asks you to eat and so do all your aunties and uncles. No matter how full you are, no matter what you're feeling, whether you've eaten or not, they will just always tell

[18:41] you just just eat. Eat a little bit more. If there was a part of myself that felt like I was at home, it's not necessarily a place, but it's the

[18:53] memories I have of that time and spending time with my family and the spending time with my family and the people I really care about.

[19:13] So, I'm at Studio Daisy right now and I'm about to meet the director and have my first meeting. I'm pretty nervous, but let's see how this goes.

[20:01] some of these early meetings Because here were some veterans that had worked here were some veterans that had worked in the anime industry for years.

[21:32] the producer and the writer ask me questions about my intentions, why I wanted to tell this story, what I wanted to say through these characters. It kind to say through these characters. It kind of made me realize exactly why I wrote

[21:46] this in the first place and what part of me I really wanted to put into it. I me I really wanted to put into it. I really want to hit home the theme of either finding a home or coming home. So, it's more of like a homecoming kind

[21:59] of series. And [music] they came back with my script and they said, "This is actually going to be about a 30 to 40 minute short film. you have the budget

[22:11] for half of that. It was honestly a blessing in disguise because I think it just gave me the opportunity to add [music] a little bit more of myself into [snorts] the story that I didn't even knew I wanted to until I started

[22:26] rewriting it. [music]

[22:39] a good group of friends, good group of people that you connect with and sometimes [music] you don't connect with a culture and the culture to me is people. Part of the big reason why I [music] chose to make home Ethania was

[22:54] because I didn't want the concept of home to be tied down to one singular home to be tied down to one singular [music] country. Uh to me was always a kind of place that could be anywhere that anyone could relate to. One thing I

[23:08] that anyone could relate to. One thing I will ask for is I like to stay away from western kind of architecture. I think it would be cool to have more eastern >> Does it have something to do with that? You're from Southeast Asia.

[23:22] >> Um it also has something to do with just I've seen a lot of >> this kind of architecture design in uh a lot of [music] fantasy worlds. So originally this world of Ethania, this fantasy world was more akin to your

[23:37] typical Tolkenesque fantasy world or your typical isekai world. I had two weeks to write this. I did not have enough time to do some proper world building. I didn't mention this before, but Ren was actually an elf girl. Why an

[23:51] elf? I don't know. I think I was just going through an elf phase that year and >> Does it [snorts] need to be an elf? >> No, it doesn't.

[24:07] I'll have to look into I think East Asian mythology then to see what kind of >> Thankfully, because of this process, I was like, actually, I want to completely pivot and do something different that I haven't personally seen, but I think

[24:22] would be pretty [\h__\h] cool. I want to make a world that revolves around make a world that revolves around Southeast Asian mythology. Southeast Asian mythology. >> [music]

[24:46] want to be like directly Tai because it's still another world in that sense. I guess on the topic of the world, the monsters and everything, I found some things that I think have potential. That is yak which just kind of means giant in

[25:01] Thai. I think this is the most equivalent to an oni like a Japanese oni and gauda. A lot of Southeast Asia and Thailand in general have a lot of Thailand in general have a lot of interpretations of that.

[25:17] >> A lot of the temples it's do with like Thai mythology. I guess the English name is Naga. There was one creature that kept popping There was one creature that kept popping up everywhere. The naga,

[25:30] >> a divine serpent creature that can sometimes take human form, but each country has its own interpretation of it. In Thailand, our version of it, we refer to it as pyanag. And if you go to any tide temple, you'll probably have a

[25:42] good chance to see some kind of statue depicting it. We're at a temple that has a lot of blessings towards the naga. The naga is actually kind of a national symbol of Thailand. Anytime you go to any temples, it might not be this

[25:59] extravagant, but you're probably going to see a naga somewhere. Since we're basing this on like Southeast Asian mythology, I think the the Naga has like godlike entity. >> So, we had a few mock-ups for what the

[26:16] Naga was going to look like. >> He was thinking like maybe should be way. It's in the direction you would like it to have, >> but I did not want it to feel oppressive. It should give off the

[26:29] feeling of like something that's like a higher being and intimidating, but not higher being and intimidating, but not so much threatening.

[26:42] that the Naga was going to be a part of the world, it was almost like the world The Naga in the Tai version can actually control the flow of water and the flow control the flow of water and the flow of rain. It is a water serpent first and

[26:56] >> Since the village is a farming village, water should be a very important aspect [music] in the village protection. Apparently, the groundwater is seeping out from the dragon's layer. [music] So, >> the dragon is also seen as a god

[27:10] representing water or something. And every 100 years, the water completely that [music] the dragon is being at its >> We had a relationship form between the local inhabitants and the creature. We

[27:24] had a culture form. The landscape change. [music] Just everything just change. [music] Just everything just started to fit into place.

[27:37] where the most important parts are and then add on to it and then um start >> Okay. Well, to me, the most important scenes Well, to me, the most important scenes are probably the ending scenes. Um, cuz

[27:51] are probably the ending scenes. Um, cuz that's when the feeling of coming home and, you know, that warm feeling is that's where I put most of my focus on. Everything else is kind of just leading up to that moment. Through this entire

[28:06] process, there was still one thing we could not figure out. How were we actually going to end this anime? The original ending, I think, had Ren and original ending, I think, had Ren and Dye come back and reunite, and they had

[28:20] this tearful reunion. And [music] a lot of this ending hinged on this conversation that they were going to have where they kind of reflect on the journeys they both took and what their realization was about where their home

[28:37] realization was about where their home was. >> Wonder how many minutes it would take for us to just do that. >> One thing that I learned from Aashan is that since we were trying to cut out as

[28:51] much screen time as possible, dialogue takes a lot of time. looking at a computer screen. I like having physical post-it notes in front

[29:04] of me. But since I'm working with Hosakasan, we need a document that she can see as well. The real challenge we had to go through was how do I portray

[29:17] the feeling and excitement of coming home visually?

[29:29] by herself without someone specifically telling her. It's basically the same ending as the original script. I do really like the idea of someone Uthanian who found a home in Japan. It's her first meal with someone else from

[29:43] Uthania. And that's what makes her realize she really misses home. We could not figure it out. No matter how many times we reworked things, no matter how she has a conversation with her dad for the first time. That means the last

[29:57] scene. we can focus more on the visual climax of it rather than her having another conversation with her dad's when she gets home.

[30:17] was probably going to have to have a compromised vision of the ending. We were behind schedule. We couldn't figure it out. and I didn't know where to turn it out. and I didn't know where to turn to for inspiration.

[30:34] especially during the making of this project. And one of those videos happened to be the Manora dance. Now, this is a traditional Thai dance whose origins base back to an old Thai folktale about a kinara of the same

[30:50] name. Now, the kinara or kinari are basically these half bird, half humanlike creatures in Thai mythology. And I don't think I knew it then, but I think just seeing this video as I was so engrossed in trying to figure out a

[31:03] direction for this story, my subconscious mind just told me the answer because I don't normally dream, but that night I had [music] the most but that night I had [music] the most vivid dream.

[31:19] a.m. because the sun was kind of out, peeking a bit but not really. He just darling." And I'm freaking out cuz I'm thinking like, "Okay, something bad has wake each other up unless something important has happened. And then he said

[31:32] the" And I'm just sitting here like half awake like, "What?" He's like, "Yeah, I just dreamt it." And then all he said to me is, "She's got to fly.

[32:22] girl. She was going to be a kinari. Initially, I wanted Ren to have completely physical wings and, you know, go fullon with the halfh human, half bird concepts, but I think keeping the NG wings was enough.

[32:45] characters were just words on a page. And now that we had finalized the ending, the entire story line, it was time to pick a character design.

[33:11] character designs by Studio Daisy, and I'm about to go through them. I'm about to go through them. I got sent four different designs from four different character designers. All of their own interpretations of Ren and

[33:25] of their own interpretations of Ren and Die. I'm actually really nervous for some reason, but All right, let's see. All right, let's start with a Oh, wow. All right, let's start with a Oh, wow. Okay, so we have Ren age 8, Ren, age 21,

[33:39] Okay, so we have Ren age 8, Ren, age 21, die age 21, and die 36. Damn, is that a zatty right there? This really set the standard because god damn, do I love this art style. First of all, Ren very much reminded me of some of the designs

[33:55] from Army Goddess, especially this drawing in the middle right here. But I just thought I wanted a little bit more of a grounded story. I wanted something that felt a little bit more down to earth. I mean, look at Dai, man. He

[34:10] looks a little bit too heroic and that wasn't the energy I was going for with Dai. I do think A has a really cool design and cool aesthetic. I'm not sure if it would work as well for the atmosphere I'm going for. Okay, let's

[34:25] see option B. We got one for D and we got one for Ren. [snorts] Ooh, I like that. I I like her expression. Oh, I I really like her expressions. Oh, she looks so cute as a kid. Okay. Oh my god, she looks

[34:40] >> Looking at Ren's face, especially looking at Ren's smile, especially when she was younger, just filled her with such joy. And that was the exact kind of such joy. And that was the exact kind of joy that I was hoping Ren would exude.

[34:56] I'm a huge fan of Ren's character design right here. I like the vibe she gives off and the [music] character is the character design simple but you can easily recognizable and I just like the feeling the feeling of this uh very

[35:13] much. Let's have a look at DY's character design from the same artist. doesn't look as cool as the first artist. D here looks a little bit more

[35:28] stoic. My only issue with Dy's character designs as it is is again he looks too heroic. He looks a little bit too much like a protagonist where I kind of wanted Dye to be a little bit more plain. I had the approach with him that

[35:45] plain. I had the approach with him that I wanted him to have as plain of a character design [music] as possible at the start of his journey. I wanted to through the difference in character designs between how much more

[35:59] personality he seems to have when he's older as opposed to [music] when he's younger. They have definitely taken a lot of inspiration from Southeast Asian clothing right here. The clothing most of all was something that just stood out

[36:15] of all was something that just stood out to me. It just gave me that Thai kind of like inspired vibe that I hadn't really seen before in any other anime shows. [laughter] face, man. Seeing all these characters come to life. Ooh, this

[36:30] artist has given me a lot. I had a vague idea of what Ren was going to look like. But something that's more important than having an aesthetic that I like or having a character designer that I like is what I wanted to do was make sure

[36:44] that the character design matched Ren's personality, matched Ren's [music] personality, matched Ren's [music] energy. Ren. Ah, okay. Okay. energy. Ren. Ah, okay. Okay. Oh, she's really adorable as well.

[36:57] [laughter] They gave me plenty to pick from [music] in both Ren's older form and Ren's younger form. I just saw this and I just I just could not help but

[37:10] smile, man. Oh, the pout face, her happy face as well. [\h__\h] this brings such a smile to my face, this brings such a smile to my face, man. Oh my god. I really really loved

[37:24] the innocent look that they gave her while also giving a little bit of personality as well. This this Ren pouty face. M god damn I love pouty faces. Okay, so

[37:36] we've gone with more of the fairy wings for this addition of Ren. It wasn't kind of the wings [music] I was imagining a kinari canara to have. Aashi really wants to give her not physical wings but

[37:51] magical wings. So this very much plays into that. But in terms of just her art and her facial expressions, immaculate die. Okay, this is this is

[38:03] more how I envisioned a normal person to look, which is how I imagined Dye to be world and found the home that he wanted to settle in. This was perfect for

[38:16] to settle in. This was perfect for younger Dye, but I was concerned with how he would look as a father. Last one.

[38:31] Oh. [laughter] Oh, she she looks she looks good in this one. [music] Like more than everyone, she does give off like a daughter vibe. I love this design [music] so much. Again, there there is there is

[38:45] not a single bad design in here. You had no idea how hard it was to pick one design out of all of these. I love the creative decision to incorporate a little bit of her wings [music] on her head. Right here, I see they've captured

[38:59] head. Right here, I see they've captured Ren's innocence perfectly, but in her order design, her emotions are a little bit more subdued. I imagined her to be a little bit more expressive. Okay, let's see. Die. Oh, okay. Oh,

[39:16] that's my man. That's Dye right there. I like how he seems a little bit more normal. not super heroic, but you can see from when he's 21 to 36, there is [music]

[39:28] there's a warmthness uh that you can see that he's [music] gotten from being more comfortable in Uthania. It's so subtle the way that you can see his character change from [music] when he's 21 years

[39:41] change from [music] when he's 21 years old and when he's 36 years old. I love alone, you could see how much more comfortable he is with himself when he gets older. This is This is incredible. >> Is already capable of doing anything for

[39:55] [snorts] like all up to you. >> Okay. >> All right. That was everything. This is This is going to be hard. I'm going to have to think about this and I'll take my decision to the next

[40:10] meeting. This is one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my career, I think. But every one of these has been amazing. >> I'm thinking too much. [laughter] cuz it's such a hard decision. So, now that

[40:24] we [music] really really needed to finalize their names. And Ren and I were in my head always meant to be placeholder names. As I said, they were just short names that I chose because I was didn't want to

[40:38] [music] type out a long name every time I typed out their name. So, we had a long meeting where we would discuss what their names were going to be, their full their names were going to be, their full names. And eventually, we [music]

[40:50] were so attached to these names that we still wanted Ren and Dy to be there somewhere. I've had friends who have adopted pets that have told me something similar where they refer to them as a name with the intention of one day

[41:06] changing it and then when the time actually comes, they just can't. It [music] just that name is them and they can't imagine any other name but them. And that's what I felt about [music] Ren.

[41:22] That's Ren. It's like I can't call her anything else but Ren. She's Ren. Actually, now that I had taken so much inspiration from Southeast Asia, from my home country, I wanted to give her a Thai inspired name. Normally, we have a

[41:36] very very long full name. Actually, my name is very short for a Thai name. In Thai culture, the longer the name, the more like prestigious it is. So, I went more like prestigious it is. So, I went with

[41:57] >> which just means a girl that brings joy. We went with dai for drai

[42:12] [music] which is actually a combination of my mom and dad's family name. And then once we decided on the names and [music] we we decided on the names and [music] we locked it in, there was just this weird

[42:25] moment in the meeting where we all just sat down [music] and it just all suddenly started to feel real. They suddenly started to feel real. thought was going to happen because in my mind I'm like [music] a name is just

[42:41] a name. It doesn't matter. These characters are here to tell a certain story, have a certain journey. But then as [snorts] soon as we started to name them as soon [music] as their names were finalized, there was so much about their

[42:53] finalized, there was so much about their character that suddenly just bubbled up so many aspects of their lives that we didn't really think about until their names were there. Like for example, Dai Arai or Arai Dai because his name begins

[43:08] with the a sound, he's probably going to be at the front of the assembly line when he's in school. So, we didn't really think about that. But now that we knew that, there was this moment in the meeting where we started to stand up and

[43:21] think, how would he stand if he's at the front of the line? He'd probably stand like this or he probably stand like that because the teachers are watching and he so he doesn't get scolded or anything like that. And it was a part of so much

[43:36] like that. And it was a part of so much of their character came out that I didn't know was going to happen until that moment. And it was just [\h__\h] magical. That's so interesting how we're finding so much

[43:48] about his backstory from just his name alone, right? alone, right? >> Do you like Ren and Dai? he was in his younger self. Uh [music] but older Dai is chill man. [laughter]

[44:05] but older Dai is chill man. [laughter] He's just someone who I don't know. He He's just someone who I don't know. He has his he has a simple way of showing his affection, but he doesn't want to outwardly show it. He's never

[44:20] too forward about [music] it. But the way he can show his love and the way he can show his affection in just very subtle ways, I think [music] um it's kind of adorable actually for

[44:33] um it's kind of adorable actually for for someone that's older than me. Uh Ren for someone that's older than me. Uh Ren is a [\h__\h] mess. Uh and she is very naive. She goes with her gut feelings without thinking about it too

[44:49] much. And honestly, I probably wouldn't hang out with Ren if she was a real person. But also, she's my baby. And [music] But also, she's my baby. And [music] I knew that she has to learn a lesson in

[45:03] I knew that she has to learn a lesson in her own way through her own journey. And them to be able to learn themselves. God, I'm talking about them like real So, I don't know if this is going to go in the documentary or not. I I'm not

[45:19] in the documentary or not. I I'm not sure, but uh I think uh I think I've made my decision. I mean, I've been looking through all of I mean, I've been looking through all of these designs for quite a while now, and

[45:32] I just I just keep coming back to this I just I just keep coming back to this one. I just just seeing this design, one. I just just seeing this design, seeing her aura, her air, this is

[45:45] [bell] this is this is Ren.

[46:15] inspiration for the story that I wrote. the story that I wrote. And every aspect of this project just reminded me of [snorts] what I was going through at that time. And

[46:32] aside from just [music] having to make myself look professional, make everyone seem like everything was going well or everyone seemed like I was able to [music] manage everything just fine and just perfect

[46:47] just perfect cuz I just I wanted to get it right. I [music] I needed to get it right. This this is my dream. This is this is my dream vision. This is

[47:02] so many aspects of my life, so many aspects of my parents' life, my my [music] experience being put into this thing. And there [music] there was this point where

[47:15] we didn't know what was going to happen next.

[47:31] I almost cried [music] seeing this earlier because I was like, "Ah, that's that's in." I really really liked the original character design I was given, but there was just aspects of it that did not

[47:45] match up [music] to Ren's character. She was a little bit older than how I envisioned. She had a little bit more maturity to her in in her features. But one thing I learned is that you can easily change the feeling of the age of

[48:00] a character by I think it was changing the either the size of the head or the headto body ratio. And it was so weird cuz there was this moment in the meeting where they literally did it live and something in your brain is just like oh

[48:14] years. the ratio but I'm like yeah that's that's woman >> teenager. There were so many aspects too of her character design that I took for

[48:27] of her character design that I took for granted that play a huge role in her personality. [laughter]

[48:46] >> We quickly had to move to the next phase of the project. A lot of things were discussed at the same time. I didn't do any clothing, but I would like to keep love this one.

[49:00] >> I like the contrast between the straight and just a little bit poking out. >> I think that's about good. [music] >> Damn, I'm just realizing that's that was my old haircut. [laughter] >> I will have a think about the English

[49:14] >> I will have a think about the English title then. Um, if there are any suggestions for like something that could work for Japanese, I'm open to suggestions as well. I think the title should have something to do with home.

[49:26] What about a light novel title? >> I moved to another world, but I couldn't find my real home, so I moved back. [laughter]

[49:43] >> Ban. [music] Yeah, >> I don't think I've made so many decisions in my life. I would come out of these meetings [music] completely drained from just decision fatigue.

[49:58] Working with people who are very very decorated in the industry, working with so many veterans, so many people who so many veterans, so many people who have talents that I will never have and

[50:10] having to communicate what I think is best for my vision. I just felt like should I be here? Do I even deserve to

[50:22] >> There'd be times I missed him. There'd be times where I'd be in the same house and it'd feel like I haven't seen him in months because he'd be working so much months because he'd be working so much on this during meetings, fixing his

[50:34] know, even when he wasn't doing that, he had to travel a lot and that was hard. I wanted to ask >> if it's okay if I uh >> if it's okay if I uh >> recommend certain staff members or I I

[50:49] >> The only big staff member missing at this point was the composer. And if you're familiar with my YouTube work, you know that music is a massive aspect in everything that I make. So for this project, I didn't want the music to just

[51:03] be good. I wanted it to embody the soul of the project. And those were some big shoes to fill. Luckily though, I knew a guy or should I Luckily though, I knew a guy or should I say a mate.

[51:23] >> My name is Kevin Bangan and I am the composer for B. Maiden Abyss and just [music] seeing that sunrise scene. Didn't know who

[51:35] composed it. I didn't even know that he wasn't Japanese at the time, but [music] that scene made such a deep impression on me because it was a scene that just allowed [music] Kevin's music to speak for itself.

[52:01] just wanted to achieve that same feeling of just let Kevin's music do the of just let Kevin's music do the talking.

[52:20] It was like he was proposing. It was so weird. Uh like in such a lovely way, but it was just like ah, you know, I'm doing this thing. Uh, I'm making an anime. I'm then before he could even ask us, just like, yes. Like, yes, I'll do it. No

[52:35] problem. Done. Easy. >> So, we get Kevin on and he is very, very all like, all right, I'm going to send you some rough ideas to try and get a feel of this project. And I was

[52:49] thinking, [music] okay, it's going to be some simple instrumentals or just some going in the right directions. [music] And I remember this moment when he sends me his very very early ideas and I just think this this is your rough drafts.

[53:06] think this this is your rough drafts. This is insane. initially did write some demos that were way way bigger in [music] scale than

[53:20] what the final sound ended up being. It was very sort of like, [music] you know, British garden sort of, you know, almost down to Abby sort of uh grandiose in and things [music] like that. And that was just straight up the wrong approach.

[53:36] And G very me on that one. I was like, "Yeah, okay. I see that now." So, I just had to go really back to basics and like just, you know, piano, couple of pads maybe, and maybe I don't know, just like a solo instrument, just doing a melody

[53:50] and try and start from there and then figure out how that would be able to be expanded upon in a in the in the correct way.

[54:26] a significant amount of reference to Thailand uh meant that I needed to study up pretty hard um because I wasn't overly familiar with a lot of the knew a couple but you know not enough. >> I heard you uh bought also like the Thai

[54:41] bamboo flute as well. Is that right? >> You mean this thing or anything? >> Oh yes. Yes. >> Gave me just a huge list of all the instruments that I could potentially use. And yeah, it was like 14 different

[54:53] instruments. Wasn't about using all of them. It was just about trying to find a couple that really kind of would work within the sort of wider context of the within the sort of wider context of the score. Uh we figured out that the the

[55:05] the qui and then also the can would just just be and then also the can would just just be so perfect for both a aesthetic sort of reference and also a featured sort of instrument as well. Things like that

[55:19] >> I got your back. And uh yeah, just keep this feedback coming, man. Just be honest. If it's not, if you're not digging it, just tell me.

[55:44] [music] many things outside of my control. Like if we made a decision, I [music] couldn't come back and change it after the fact. We would need to stick >> Fits the theme and fits the feeling. And this is totally different from YouTube

[55:59] [music] for example where I can film something and if I'm not happy with it then I can either [music] just refilm it or ask Alan to edit it in a way or I can just edit it myself. I have so much freedom in what I can do. The parallel

[56:13] here is that [music] um everything that I've done for Gant I am doing something that he has done [music] himself previously. This project Bon is such a such [music] a new experience for him because he is having to give feedback

[56:29] that he himself has never done before. >> Have you ever seen or like done storyboards before? >> Uh never. I've seen story boards but >> Uh never. I've seen story boards but only um only from you know documentaries

[56:43] and filming it myself. So I've never been involved in the process of making storyboards. >> I know I should probably wait till tomorrow to go through this, but I got it and I'm too [\h__\h] nervous to go to

[56:58] sleep. So I [music] want to go through this now. I'm very nervous, but I'm very very excited at the same time. So I'm going to go through it now. You know, I

[57:10] was trying to stay positive, trying to like, hey, this is cool. This is a happy moment. But deep down inside, when I got to the

[57:23] But deep down inside, when I got to the ending, I [music] didn't feel the ending, I [music] didn't feel the emotions that I thought I would feel. So emotions that I thought I would feel. So that was the first look into

[57:35] this short film. And that scared me because I just thought to myself, if I wasn't [music] feeling emotional, how was anyone else going to feel emotional? In the original screenplay, I

[57:50] imagined before Ren taking flight, she would [music] she would be running. Um, she would be like slowly running a little bit like one and two steps at first and slowly get faster and faster and faster. Kind of like this feeling of

[58:04] like being free again, being back at home. I thought that scene would be a [music] little bit longer just to really emphasize that feeling. >> To me, that was such an important part of [music] the climax, of the emotional

[58:19] of [music] the climax, of the emotional buildup for that climax.

[58:33] actually put my foot down and I was like, "No, this is going to be in this anime." And I wanted it exactly the way I thought it was going to be. I didn't

[58:45] I thought it was going to be. I didn't just tell Hashan verbally. I actually wrote down step by step in screenplay format exactly how I wanted the scene to play out without having seen the final product and without having seen what the

[58:59] final thing was going to look like. I really had to learn how to put my trust in other people in other people who knew more than me. And that terrified me.

[59:12] [music] My first reaction to seeing this design My first reaction to seeing this design was, "Oh my god, this looks amazing." My was, "Oh my god, this looks amazing." My second reaction to this was, "Oh my god,

[59:26] how are they going to animate this? [music]

[59:39] animate the naga? Is it going to be too busy? And most importantly, can you even busy? And most importantly, can you even make this look good in animation? make this look good in animation? And then right in the middle of this

[59:53] important period, right in the middle of working on this dream project, I got some news that kind of just made everything feel irrelevant.

[1:00:10] So, I'm currently in Thailand, as you can see from my background, for an unplanned trip because my mom has got to have some because my mom has got to have some emergency surgery

[1:00:26] because they did a health checkup and they found they did a health checkup and they found a tumor on her kidney.

[1:00:40] chance that it's cancer.

[1:00:58] describe what I was feeling at that time. Obviously, it was a shock to hear the news. It came out of nowhere as things like this sometimes do. And

[1:01:16] I'm not great at talking about my emotions. I'm not great at telling emotions. I'm not great at telling people about my problems. So, not a lot of people knew actually. I told Connor, I told Joey, I told some

[1:01:29] I told Connor, I told Joey, I told some of my close friends. Um, but [snorts] in terms of like the anime team and most people I I was working with, no one people I I was working with, no one really knew the severity of what I was

[1:01:43] going through. And on the surface, I think I was pretty good at hiding it. But I think I deal with these types of situations in my own way. And I think one of my ways of coping with it

[1:01:58] was just trying to keep myself occupied and trying to keep myself busy because I was afraid that if I had a moment to really think about and comprehend

[1:02:14] what my family was dealing with at that time. Um, I think I would have just had a hard time and just shut down. Maybe seemed like his response to that was

[1:02:30] to be as productive as possible and do everything he could to maintain a sense of control in the things that he was doing. Difficult to gauge exactly how he >> When your own family is facing a health scare, it's scary. Like, you know, I

[1:02:45] love his parents. They're like my own parents to me. But to see Garn be so scared like that was almost scary for me cuz I've never seen him like that before. >> My mom, like a lot of Southeast Asian

[1:02:59] moms, finds their own way of showing love. Part of a big a big way that my mom shows love is she shows her love in her cooking. Every time I'd go back home, she would cook for me and she'd always force me to

[1:03:14] eat as much as I can. Come on. You know, you're you're looking a bit thin. Eat you're a bit tied. Eat some more. And I think it was my mom's way of showing love. And I remember this one trip. She

[1:03:31] And I remember this one trip. She she was sitting down and she was still doing well. This was before she had to go through surgery. before she had to go through surgery. And she cooked me a meal.

[1:03:52] I'm sorry. [gasps] I don't know if I'm going to be able to I don't know if I'm going to be able to cook for you for much longer. [snorts]

[1:04:20] I and I didn't know what to say back. the projects. It was almost like a switch. It just took one day and then I

[1:04:35] switch. It just took one day and then I went from seeing everything great about about what this [music] could potentially turn into and then suddenly potentially turn into and then suddenly I saw all my fears and anxieties coming

[1:04:49] into fruition. And for some reason I just could not unsee it. I started secondguessing every decision I'd made. and

[1:05:04] and I just wasn't sure anymore. song, the climax song of this entire short and this was something I was super

[1:05:19] pumped for. And then after listening to the visual And then after listening to the visual story boards, it just did not hit me like I thought it would. right now. I just I don't think there's enough

[1:05:33] buildup because there's I can hear the potential.

[1:05:46] [music] too happy to be honest. So, uh I saw G's point of view straight away. Even though the director was happy with the first draft, I also felt that, you know, even though [music] the song was more bangeresque in nature, uh, we

[1:05:59] emotional gravitas and I agreed with that perspective and we just needed to get the director on side and the best person to do that was Gone, not me. >> I'm getting a little worried. Not that I don't think that Kevin can produce

[1:06:13] something really, really good. Um, I think in this meeting myself and Studio Daisy had a little bit of a different vision with exactly how the ending song

[1:06:27] should play out, exactly how the climax should play out. >> My definition of a good collaboration is trust. And so, you know, I trust Gant to tell me when it doesn't work. And hopefully, and I believe he does, trust

[1:06:40] me, to just be there by his side in his corner batting for him. >> I just had this nagging thought sometimes where I would think, what if this is not as good as I think it is? What if it's is not as good as it is in

[1:06:57] my head? [music] And to be clear, I never thought that anyone on the team was doing a bad job at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite. There were so many talented [music] people working on this project,

[1:07:12] so many people who are way more experienced than me. And I could see how great of a job that they were doing. I was scared that I was scared that I was the problem. I was scared that I

[1:07:27] was out of my depth. What if there was a choice I made at [music] the end of a 4-hour meeting that turned out to actually be bad? What if I was pushing through my own personal tastes that [music]

[1:07:42] weren't actually the best for this project? And I think all these thoughts were just my own self trying to drown out this thought of

[1:07:58] what if my family doesn't get to see this.

[1:08:10] hear. And And I feel really bad looking back because

[1:08:23] the team that I should have even though I knew that everyone was so capable and it was my own demons that I was fighting with. And I didn't recognize

[1:08:36] that at the time. And it kind of continued that way until the actual day continued that way until the actual day of the surgery.

[1:09:16] >> We heard the news and it was good news. And it's just like that. After the doctor just confirmed that one line, it was almost like every worry, every

[1:09:32] anxiety, the heavy air just immediately washed away. And it was like we all had our lives And it was like we all had our lives back at that moment.

[1:10:22] >> on AX Lite. So stay tuned everyone. If you've never been to Anime Expo, it legitimately gets [\h__\h] crazy. It's the home crowd. It's Anime Expo. I have nothing to be worried about. [cheering]

[1:10:36] It's just different cuz this is this is this is me. This is >> this is me I'm about to [music] uh show off there on stage. >> Don't you live around here though? >> That's [\h__\h] terrifying.

[1:10:58] of relief than when we got the news that the surgery went well and she was clear of cancer. We still had a long road to go. She still had a long road of

[1:11:10] recovery, but I remember [snorts] telling her, "Matt,

[1:11:25] being the best case [music] scenario that it could be. I think for seeing him go through that and then suddenly be someone so relieved and happy >> after clearing my heads and after working with [music] everyone to get the

[1:11:39] new drafts for the story boards, the music, the everything, [music] I kind of realized that all my anxieties were just that dumb anxieties. This was just a

[1:11:51] normal part of the creative process. And I was just being overly worried and overly fearful when I shouldn't have been because I was working with so many

[1:12:03] amazingly talented people. But at this point, I also realized that I didn't have any time left to be worried or anxious about how this project was going anxious about how this project was going to turn out because Anime Expo was just

[1:12:16] 2 months away. And at this point, there was still a lot left to do. So, there was just one thing that could be done. We just needed to finish it.

[1:12:32] studio where we're going to be recording all of the music for today.

[1:12:45] I don't know why, but uh there's a lot more musicians here than I initially more musicians here than I initially imagined.

[1:12:57] there. Way more than what I was expecting. And I had this moment where I expecting. And I had this moment where I realized, oh, oh, this is really happening. This this this [laughter] feels real. Oh

[1:13:11] >> Oh, >> they want you to say something for caught. >> Oh, I'm I'm not I'm not prepared for this. I have to say something.

[1:13:24] very much for being a part of this project. This is a dream project of mine I've had ever since I was a kid. Uh, this is a story I wrote about being far away from home and finding what my home

[1:13:39] countries, traveling around the world in many different places. And I use my experience to put that into a fantasy world and living in a world that feels

[1:13:51] completely different to our own. I was scared. I was a little bit nervous that scared. I was a little bit nervous that like what I experienced previously, I wasn't going to feel the emotions I thought I was going to feel in that

[1:14:05] moment. And I remember sitting down and just hearing them do a little snippet of their rehearsals. I instantly realize, "Oh, this is going to be an emotional day." Oh, it sounds so different when you hear

[1:14:20] it live. >> [music]

[1:14:36] >> Oh, well, that's an easy answer. Uh, I knew I had it when Gant had a big [\h__\h] smile on his face. So, yeah, it was uh Yeah, I I knew we were going to be okay from there. >> Okay, it's amazing.

[1:14:50] any technical understanding of music, not not that I have much to begin with, but any technical understanding of music was pretty much gone at that moment. Um, all I knew was I felt [music] a lot of emotions and it

[1:15:05] the end of the day, I'm going to be tired from smiling. I cannot stop smiling today. One thing I found funny though was just One thing I found funny though was just the dichotomy of Kevin's directing style

[1:15:19] when he has to direct and compose in Japanese

[1:15:31] go gets an amazing take and he's like, "Yeah, [\h__\h] great take, mate. I think >> Yeah, that was strong. Thank you. >> We got some nice [\h__\h] in there. >> We got some nice [\h__\h] in there. >> Cool. Cool. Yeah.

[1:15:45] >> So, I've made it known to Kevin and I've made it pretty known that one of my favorite tracks and one of the tracks I was looking forward to the most was the flute track. Um, because obviously the flute was a sound that I'm very very

[1:15:59] familiar with. And every time I go to Thailand, that is a sound that I always remember and hear. Well, I've either just entered my grandma's house right now or entered a Thai massage.

[1:16:13] >> Nostalgic melodies are a funny one because they're new, but they need to conjure up memories kind of straight away. So, you need to almost garner a an associative memory with something even before you've actually heard it for, you

[1:16:28] know, more than one time. Sometimes I watch a show and I can feel the sense of nostalgia for a memory that I didn't have or a life that I didn't live. But in this particular case, it was almost like

[1:16:43] rediscovering a memory that I didn't know was locked inside me. know was locked inside me. Holy [\h__\h] [music] re-remembering a part of my childhood that I'd forgotten. For just that brief

[1:16:58] instant, I felt just like a kid again, going back I felt just like a kid again, going back to my grandma's house.

[1:17:50] the first thing I did? Of course, I phoned my mom.

[1:18:23] cameraman Paul who's filming the entire day. Uh he listens to us and he's like I don't know a single word of Thai, but I understood that 100%. I know what proud mom sounds like.

[1:18:36] Cup. Okay. Cup. >> Okay. they're going to show me some of the cuts that they've just finished.

[1:19:09] to look. This was something that we've worked so much on.

[1:19:36] >> [laughter] >> I will say that ohan has taken my screenplay, what seemingly line by line, and perfectly laid it out on screen. It's turned out the exact way I wanted it to.

[1:20:06] >> And then we get to the voice acting session and this was also surreal as [\h__\h] So we were only given permission to record in the production booth. So, unfortunately, you don't get to see the recording booth, but you get to hear all

[1:20:21] recording booth, but you get to hear all of the performance. cast was going to be there in the room. Um, everyone was very polite, but I was

[1:20:38] very, very intimidated just to [music] see this many talented voice actors in a see this many talented voice actors in a room together.

[1:20:50] session and I just hear a live playbyplay script read from the entire playbyplay script read from the entire cast reciting everything perfectly. I didn't even know it was rehearsal. I thought we were recording.

[1:21:14] and [music] hearing the voices specifically while looking at the animation just brought yet another extra quality just brought yet another extra quality to them that I didn't envision.

[1:21:43] >> So, first off, I am really, really happy that Mikawasan did such an amazing job portraying Orin. I just loved this natural [music] quality to her voice natural [music] quality to her voice that has the energy that I envisioned

[1:21:57] without sounding too over the top. [screaming] time, I I think she should almost sound like she's surprised um that [music] rejections. >> I remember speaking to her. Uh we all

[1:22:14] during the script read and I was surprised actually about how much she actually related to Ren's character [music] and her entire journey.

[1:22:29] Fore [music]

[1:23:43] >> in the original script. The last line uh was going to be Ren saying and I wanted to end on that line because I thought this is it. This is the line that encapsulates [music] what this story was about [snorts] and

[1:23:59] had a hu huge discussion with [music] Hosakistan and Ohashan about whether that should be the last line. um [music] because I had to trust in them because they said that's a very powerful line, but there

[1:24:14] that's a very powerful line, but there might be a better way to [music] end it that also fits in visually with the story that Ohashan wanted to tell [music] in his storyboards. Just hearing Mikawasan hit that last line,

[1:24:37] >> I knew Hashi made the right choice cuz that line has stuck in my mind uh even that line has stuck in my mind uh even to this day.

[1:24:53] Uh so there is a line where Dai said pay the far >> and we we flagged it up as uh what what is his phrase cuz I assume that Ohashi

[1:25:05] is his phrase cuz I assume that Ohashi just wrote a fake phrase but just wrote a fake phrase but oh okay >> bird but means means open. Fa means lid.

[1:25:18] >> bird but means means open. Fa means lid. >> Again, I was adamant that I did want uh the Ethanians to not be speaking Thai. [music] And eventually, we came to the conclusion that we didn't need to change it because

[1:25:30] Thai being translated to Japanese via katakana, as I came to realize, was something that no Thai person was going something that no Thai person was going to be able to recognize. Um, so we uh

[1:25:42] kept that in as a little Easter egg. >> G. Nice to meet you. >> But by far the most emotional moment for me was hearing on the final song.

[1:25:58] >> This one's almost wanted to get it perfect. wanted to get it perfect. >> This came out of just so much anxiety >> This came out of just so much anxiety about whether this final song was going

[1:26:12] to hit. uh like I knew what I needed to achieve after the first version wasn't tone uh with Gant. >> What I would say is that we do a fake >> What I would say is that we do a fake language based on Thai and Japanese

[1:26:27] >> The ending song did have some intricacies, not just because of the fact that we're creating a, you know, a lyrical uh language that, you know, lyrical uh language that, you know, didn't exist before.

[1:26:42] just like just just talk just >> just start talking in Thai and then I'll pick out some words. Uh I would avoid guy uh that means chicken in Thai. >> Got it. Understood. >> I met Sarah Elaine. Uh but she had done

[1:26:57] >> I met Sarah Elaine. Uh but she had done the vocals for Isabella's Lullabi. Uh she's done the vocals for a few songs of Xenolade. [music] And I believe she grew up or was born in Australia. I don't know. I mean, I [music] I try to to to

[1:27:11] say when I'm here, I say, "I'm from Australia, but but what is what [music] is Australian?" And when I'm there, it's a multicultural country, but then you're enough, but you're not Asian enough. You're not Japanese enough. [music]

[1:27:23] You're not Australian enough. So, there is no home for me. I live here. The one reflected in this song was the feeling and

[1:27:35] excitement of coming home. >> The uh the first sort of like draft of that was way too upbeat and didn't speak to the emotionality. to the emotionality. >> I just wanted it to be perfect.

[1:27:49] >> I just wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to convey the emotions of this entire short film. But the first time hearing that song is a moment I'm

[1:28:01] going to remember for the rest of my life.

[1:28:19] hearing that song performed, >> I just couldn't stop thinking, "Yeah, this is it. this is it. I'm home.

[1:28:47] >> Oh, this is uh this has been an emotional day to say the least. I'm a little bit drained. Not just because it's been 7 hours, but my emotions have it's been 7 hours, but my emotions have been all over the place. But uh from my

[1:29:00] untrained ears, that went [\h__\h] great. [laughter] Throughout this entire process, one thing I've learned is that I thought I knew who Ren and Dai was. I thought I knew who Ren and Dai was. And then every person who has added a

[1:29:15] little bit of their own experience, their own skills, their own talents [snorts] to Ren and Dai has changed them little by [music] little in the best way

[1:29:28] I can imagine. It's almost seemed like your babies grow up in real time to become different people than what you thought they would be, but you're still thought they would be, but you're still happy about the people they became.

[1:29:46] because [music] there's not so many things left to do and it's getting close to uh finish time. So, we'll have to see. We'll have to wait and see how the rest of the [music] project goes.

[1:30:07] It is close to 3:00 a.m. right now and I just received the final files for Barn just received the final files for Barn and

[1:30:20] I don't know. I watched them and I've seen it so many times. I have in these past two months gone over every single frame, every voice line, every little

[1:30:32] frame, every voice line, every little detail you can possibly think of. And detail you can possibly think of. And just now I think

[1:30:44] the deadline. We had completed everything on time and the only thing left to do was to tell the world about it. No pressure, right? Well, there it is, boys and girls.

[1:31:01] Well, there it is, boys and girls. Beautiful, foggy Los Angeles. It is the morning of the biggest day of my

[1:31:13] career, I guess. [laughter] But thankfully, the day that we planned to premiere it was on the first day of Anime Expo. Uh, which is great because Anime Expo. Uh, which is great because if it was on a later day, I think, uh, I

[1:31:28] wouldn't have been able to do any of the work that I should have been doing. I don't think I've ever quite been as nervous as right now. >> The biggest moment of my career

[1:31:50] scheduled and up. And uh you know, I haven't really thought what people are going to think thought what people are going to think about this yet. I've been so engrossed

[1:32:04] in just getting this project done. >> Doesn't the panel actually like end at 8:30 today? >> Oh. Oh,

[1:32:21] okay. That was a close one. The trailer is uh something that came in way later than what we expected, but [music] we managed to get it in on time, right before we needed to premiere it in front of I think 2,000 people was what

[1:32:35] asked to host the Geeks [music] Plus panel and everyone at Geeks Plus thought that that was the right decision. Welcome to the stage, Dylan Goo. because were announcing a lot of different projects. I seem to be the right person

[1:32:49] for the job >> and I thought I was the right person for the job as well. Uh this is not my first panel. I've run many panels. Uh and one thing I was not expecting [music] was how nervous I was going to be for

[1:33:06] this one panel. There was this moment where I turned up just a little bit early to this panel and I just have a moment without having to rush, having to think about rushing to my next event, my next meet up, my [music] next panel and

[1:33:21] I just thought >> two years of my life about to uh about to go public. I don't think it had truly hit me until that point just what this journey was going to lead

[1:33:36] just what this journey was going to lead to. And then when that happened, I start [\h__\h] it. My body, [laughter]

[1:33:52] why is it doing that? It's never done that before. Oh god. I'm not even sure if it was nervousness. It was just >> I think it just hit me the gravity of what I'm what I'm about to do. >> What this means?

[1:34:08] >> Yeah, I know. >> Are you nervous? >> Nope. I am. Yeah. Back. >> Okay. [laughter] All right. Sometimes my mind says something [music] and my

[1:34:23] logical part of my brain says that's [\h__\h] But the primal part of my brain says no, you should listen to it. And [music] right then the primal part And [music] right then the primal part of my brain was screaming, "What if

[1:34:37] people don't like this? What if two years of your life ended up a waste? What if this doesn't hit the same kind of excitement [music] or reception that you think it's going to hit

[1:35:07] trying to professionally host it, but inside I was absolutely [\h__\h] [music] bricks. And so we get up to the point where I have to announce it and I am so [music] nervous that I actually skip a slide that we needed to go through.

[1:35:23] Outside of trash taste, I've actually been working on a little project myself. >> Uh, and [music] I've been working on it for a while and uh I don't know what else to say. Oh, before that I completely forgot the video starts

[1:35:40] and I can't even begin to [music] describe I can't even begin to [music] describe the emotions of what came next.

[1:35:56] one of your videos that ended up really sticking with you? But if I had to pick one, there is one that still stands out to me and it was a

[1:36:08] line I wrote when I was talking about Porter Robinson's shelter. And I remember this line vividly, like something along the lines of, "This man has shown that you can live the weed dream. You can go out and make your own

[1:36:23] dream. You can go out and make your own anime. All you need is fame, a [\h__\h] ton of cash, an international music producer, backing from some anime studios and companies, and a great vision with a burning passion. Easy,

[1:36:38] vision with a burning passion. Easy, right?

[1:37:23] am >> [music]

[1:37:39] [cheering] [music] [music] [cheering]

[1:37:52] >> [screaming] [music] [applause] [music]

[1:38:21] >> SO, UH, YEAH, I'm making my own anime, guys. [cheering] Director of my anime.

[1:39:12] You cried. >> I I cried watching you cry. I tried not >> I I cried watching you cry. I tried not to get emotional, but

[1:39:26] >> Oh, [\h__\h] man. >> I I don't know how to uh >> G made a video called Taking My Next Step. I've heard the news. Apparently, >> I'm really, really impressed. Giga, congratulations, brother. Original work

[1:39:41] by [music] Gar. Dang, that's his last name. for him, man. >> It looks legit, though. Cinema

[1:39:54] cinema, that looks that looks expensive. >> And you actually watch the trailer and project is a genuine studio. >> It looks really good. I got to say, from >> listen, Gig, he has the clout for it. >> Once you get into the position of where

[1:40:08] you're finally releasing your own anime, that's when you know you've kind of made it. Seeing everyone's reaction, just every single bit of anxiety you had just every single bit of anxiety you had just evaporated on the spot. And

[1:40:22] and now I'm just excited to show the world the full product. And that's it. One more stage left. See you guys at the premiere.

[1:40:55] in my sunshine. Good. Um, I'm not going to say that my movie is meant to be above John Wick, but I mean that's what Grand Cinema but I mean that's what Grand Cinema Sunshine is saying.

[1:41:15] >> Um, well, I am nervous. I've done stuff like this many times in my life, uh, including the panel where we announced including the panel where we announced this anime, but I don't know. This just

[1:41:29] this anime, but I don't know. This just feels different. I can't believe this is really happening. It's just

[1:41:42] all these seats just to see a little thing that I made. Um, that's a lot of >> This is literally the meme of just like me showing up to my mom's funeral or premiere. >> Those aren't those aren't messies.

[1:41:56] >> Yeah, they're not messy. >> Normally, I get nerves before a show, but those are nerves because I have to perform. I am the show. In this case, I

[1:42:09] worse. I actually think it's worse because unlike me being the show, the show is already finished and I just have to sit there and watch and [music] hope

[1:42:23] to sit there and watch and [music] hope that people enjoy the show, which is a different kind of nervousness because I actually have time to think and notice [music] things. I don't know how people are going to

[1:42:37] react. I don't know how I'm going to react. Uh normally when I'm nervous, will tell you that I'm constantly [music] shuffling around. I can never sit still. Just sitting still is the worst thing I can possibly do when uh

[1:42:54] >> I'm not actually sitting down today. I'll just be standing up the entire How did you feel like when Gant said, "By the way, I'm going to make a movie." >> Uh, the first thing I thought was about [\h__\h] time cuz I if anyone if anyone

[1:43:09] in the space can make a good anime or animation, it's it's going to be that >> I'm expecting it to be beautiful because just from the snippet that we saw during AX that trailer, it looked absolutely gorgeous. So, I'm excited to see like 18

[1:43:23] >> [music] >> anything short of I don't know Chinatown, Good Fellas, Gone with the Wind, Benhur, I think, you know, some contemporaries. If [music] as long as we match that quality, I'll walk away from

[1:43:35] [music] >> Um, great job, man. Really proud of you. Uh, amazing accomplishment. I wish I could be as epic as you one day. >> Oh my god. >> I'mma [\h__\h] kill him.

[1:43:51] >> I'm I'mma kill him. Have I learned anything from making this anime? Well, anything from making this anime? Well, making anime is [\h__\h] hard. [laughter] making anime is [\h__\h] hard. [laughter] I don't know if it fully hit me. Um, I

[1:44:03] don't know if it has fully hit me, but I remember talking to my editor and he said one line that really put things in perspective for me. He told me that

[1:44:15] for everyone who worked on this project, this is their job. This is what they do this is their job. This is what they do for a living. for myself. I am doing this project. I have done this project on top of my regular job. And he said,

[1:44:31] on top of my regular job. And he said, "That's pretty [\h__\h] insane." And [laughter] it kind of put things into perspective for me because I'm I perspective for me because I'm I realized that, huh, not only have I

[1:44:43] sacrificed 2 years of my life to do this project on top of doing my regular job, I also paid money to [music] go through this entire process to experience this this entire process to experience this all. And

[1:44:59] [music] I don't know what to think about that. Um, I've been told that only a crazy person would do what I've been doing. I'm just happy that uh I was able doing. I'm just happy that uh I was able to finish this.

[1:45:16] for anime, any [music] anime, even for someone in my position. This project was a peculiar project that did not go through the normal channels that [music] anime projects do go through. It was funded by mainly one person with a bit

[1:45:32] funded by mainly one person with a bit of help from Geeks Plus. And as a creator, as an outsider, someone who came in as a [music] fan, I don't think there's been anyone in my position who's been able to have as much creative

[1:45:47] control over a project as I've had for this one. And yet I still feel like there were so many things [music] outside of my control because this outside of my control because this project doesn't just represent me. It

[1:46:02] represents dozens upon dozens of people all with different skill sets, different life experiences, all who've put a little bit of themselves into this project. I remember looking at the final credits and [music] even for a short

[1:46:19] project like this, it just blew my mind seeing all of the names of everyone who helped me turn my little vision into a reality.

[1:46:32] reality. And I just thought, man, that's so [\h__\h] cool. Cuz it just made me truly realize, damn, anime, any anime, if it's

[1:46:44] actually [music] completed, is a huge accomplishment. And if that anime ends up also being good, we should cherish it like a good, we should cherish it like a goddamn miracle. [music]

[1:47:15] cool. Um, I'm unbelievably happy for him. I mean, he's done so well and he's put so much into this and the fact that it's now come together and it's actually done. Uh, he is a [\h__\h] legend. So yeah, very very proud of my friend.

[1:47:29] yeah, very very proud of my friend. >> Do I think people will like it? Well, I would be lying if I didn't hope that people did like it. I've thought that people did like it. I've thought about this a lot and I know how much of

[1:47:42] an impact I can make with only 18 minutes. I think some people may watch this and not really vibe with this. I think some people may see this as a cool 18minute video and then immediately forget about it when they click on the

[1:47:57] next one. I think there are some people who might not even finish it. And that's just the reality. But the reason I made this [music] is if there is just a fraction of people who connect with just

[1:48:12] a little bit [music] of what I've put into this in the same way that I've had shows [music] connect with me before that have inspired me, then it would have made every part of this process [music] worth it. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's

[1:48:28] weird. I feel like I've been pretty [music] personal to the public before as a YouTuber, you know, whether that be through my videos or me telling pretty personal and intimate stories through trash taste.

[1:48:42] trash taste. But I don't think I've ever felt like I've laid myself out as bare as I have with this one project. To me, anime has always been a special type of conversation between [music] the

[1:48:56] creator and the viewer. I've connected with shows, connected with characters, connected with certain scenes in a way that no amount of words scenes in a way that no amount of words would be able to convey. And this little

[1:49:10] 18 minute animation [music] has communicated a part of me that I would never be able to achieve in all my years never be able to achieve in all my years and thousands of hours doing YouTube.

[1:49:24] and thousands of hours doing YouTube. And to anyone who watches it, I'm just really [\h__\h] thankful [music] that you gave a little bit of time just to see gave a little bit of time just to see this little part of myself.

[1:49:43] been watching his videos for like 15 years. So I really want to come to this and it aligned perfectly for me. >> I was also excited. like an isekai anime that. >> Yeah, I think he has a good sense for

[1:49:55] anime. So, uh you know, I bet he's uh I bet he's written something great. >> As soon as he posted something like on his Instagram, instantly I knew that it especially like on a Sunday where it's very busy.

[1:50:09] >> Um I'm a big fan of uh Garn and his channel and um my dad as well. And uh this premiere, we thought it'd be a good idea to to go watch. So yeah. >> Okay. >> Now it's all over. Did you ever find out

[1:50:24] >> Now it's all over. Did you ever find out where your home was?

[1:51:00] Heat. Heat. [music] [applause]

[1:51:13] [applause] [music]

[1:51:27] you did the same thing for me. You gave me a chance. So, thank you. and I can't wait to see if we can make this bigger. >> I felt your passion through the screen and just in general, your passion is very inspiring.

[1:51:41] >> I hope you do more big things in the future. I'm pretty sure you're going to like surpass this at some point and it will be even more amazing. >> Very proud and seeing like our daughter on screen like that and just seeing like

[1:51:55] very proud. I don't know what else to say. It looks gorgeous. It's perfect. Mommy, really proud of you. >> Well done, Grant. That's your dream. It's our dream as well. Thank you for doing it for for us.

[1:52:30] succeed, it just fills you with the most intense amount of like celebration and >> I could cry. I I don't like seeing G sad. You look like you about to cry like

[1:52:42] >> How do you feel about God making in the anime? >> I'm I'm sweaty. [laughter] I started sweating in my seat. Like it I started sweating in my seat. Like it was it was it was a not a sticky

[1:52:55] >> it definitely makes me want to write my own story. So, I'm very inspired by it. >> And I thought I saw something deeply personal. It was wellcrafted. It was a It was an amazing piece of art. >> I was not in a cult, I think, but I

[1:53:11] saying this? When I heard that he was making an anime, I literally like screamed when I saw that because I was like, "Okay, this is someone who's done anime for such a long time, who's done a lot of reviews, who's done such a

[1:53:24] passion, and he's just very like craving for like the perfect anime, and this is own anime. So, this is something really special. I am so proud of you, Gar. This is so inspiring. Literally leading by example on how to live your dream and

[1:53:41] you call. >> What is this? >> Okay. >> Oh my god. >> Thank you. Oh my god. That's amazing. >> You know the Shila Buff meme in the

[1:53:53] >> Yeah, [laughter] >> dude. That was cinema. That was >> You're a kissy little baby. I love you. I'm proud of you. Appreciate it. >> I don't like seeing you sad and like

[1:54:07] almost crying cuz it makes me want to cry. So, cut that out, bro. All right. really deserve it. And this is your moment. And to you and the staff, >> That's it. I'm out. >> There ain't no way that it ends here.

[1:54:22] That is such a waste. And that is upsetting because we should put more in. We should I need to see more.