Yoshi and the Mysterious Metacritic Score

[00:00] There are only two books in the world. Harry Potter and the Magic Spell or Lord of the Rings and the Magic Ring. Which one is the mysterious book that Yoshi is reading? They won't tell you.

[00:13] That's the mystery. Now this gigantic stack of 70 books, that's actually 70 copies of the Prima strategy guide for Glover. Those aren't novels. The book with the mustache, that's half on top. How can you hold a book with boxing gloves on?

[00:27] It seems so mysterious. Who is that? Luigi? Luigi? Kirby. Seems I've made some mysterious new friends. It's a mysterious game.

[00:40] Mysterious indeed. I got a magnifying glass. Look at this. Something like Where's Waldo? Meet Sherlock? Shooey? That's not Louie. Louie is Louie. Who's that? He is. King Dedede.

[00:52] Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop. It's the yellow flower. Oh, it actually tells you what the enemies taste like in this one. That's a big innovation.

[01:04] I wonder what Bowser tastes like. What? This is... What? He's not supposed to be able to do it. That's where baby Mario goes. Oh, so this game is like trying to like unfold all the unique mechanics of like the enemies, the creatures.

[01:19] Oh, that's such a cool idea. They love to be here. It's the purple man. Oh, I got purple guy on my head. I'll wash him off in here.

[01:33] Yay. Yay. Anytime you put like a sliding thing in the game, that instantly bumps it up from like a 7 to an 8. Oh, this is cool, man.

[01:50] Good, good, good. This is such a beautiful looking game. Look at how you scatter the leaves into the air. Oh my goodness. I think our flowery new friend deserves a proper name. Let's call him Flozo because he's like a flower, but he's also a big bozo.

[02:05] Flozo, rock it into. Oh, now this is all the stuff that we've learned about it. You have to pick which color Yoshi you want, man. It's like Yoshi's story. Only problem with that game was he knew whose story it was just by reading the box art.

[02:18] Yo-yo? This game doesn't have levels. It has habitats. Anybody who refers to this as a level of agro-bearing mind and pain. BEES! FUN! I just came up with the name for this.

[02:30] Yos Bees. Yos Bees. Yos Bees. Ah, don't kill em, man, come on! Bees taste good. Mmmmm. I've learned that bees have no defenses against the egg.

[02:44] Look at my beautiful collection of flowers. Oh, oh bees! Get a bag of... What should I say, oh bees? What if I ground pound this a little flower again? Oh I sprouted him Oh we can still get him though okay It like a picnic Can I eat them still Oh yeah

[03:04] Oh, this game is getting good now. Get them, dude. Wait. They're lovely, Eddie. Oh, this game is cool.

[03:18] No wait don't kill me no don't kill me! Wait can I be right Yoshi? Let's try get a bee to ride Yoshi. Ow!

[03:30] What if I just eat the flower now? Oh you get a whole, oh it's like a whole combo meal I see. Now do Flozos like to eat apples? Yes.

[03:43] Oh that turns on red. Now here's some hot peppers. Eat that Yoshi. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! No she is a stone cold killer. AAAAAH!

[03:55] Ha ha ha! Who made me? Made me! Why do you guys hate me? Because I destroyed all of your hives? What did you do? Oh uh... This is a stealth section.

[04:07] Hmph! They don't know, they don't know. Heh heh heh heh. Bah! They don't know, they don't know. Heh heh heh. My mysterious book is filling up with creatures of many varieties.

[04:24] Oh, oh. Charlie. 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 2, 6, 5, 6, 6, 7, 8.

[04:39] I don't know who this is that I'm looking at right now, but he jumps in the paintings. Meanwhile, jumps into books. So he's smarter than Mario. Now what if I feed him to Pfeffer? What is he going to say?

[04:54] Now the more you learn, the more it fills up your star meter. See, I'm 63 knowledgeable right now about this game. Don't even ask me how many stars I have in Glover. After reading that incredible guide. You're useless.

[05:06] He's not useless. What if you're in a situation where you need someone to eat 20 bees? Shut your yap and get moving. Bowser Jr. is so poorly behaved. That's bad parenting.

[05:19] I don't even see any resemblance to the father. Is there a person on Animal Man now? Oh, baby. Oh, this is getting cool now, man.

[05:31] This thing is cool. That was horrible. In all your fault, Yoshi. What a waste of time. What if Bubble Lord gets dirty? Oh, now he dressed dirt bubbles. Oh wait the evil mode Evil bubbles of deception Yeah Oh my god Oh he eating the apple Now that calms him down Now he just like the orange mode Wait orange mode is big mode This one creature has like so many like facets about him

[06:03] There's still more mechanics with the bee that I haven't uncovered. I can't believe this. Wait, what's this? I got a little turnip. I got a turnip mode.

[06:15] Oh no! The bubbles are now. Love bubbles can turn bees into allies. No, they just pop them out of the way. Dang bees.

[06:27] I mean, yoast bees. I've almost done my chapter four already, just from flowing chapter one. Just combined with the temporary yoast bees. Say goodbye to you.

[06:40] Oh, look, it's flowing everywhere. Oh, they're cool on there. They're cool on this. Is this game a prequel, The Last of Us? Is that how it all started?

[06:57] Oh, the spores are infesting my Flozo. This poor creature wasn't tough enough to handle the puffs. Oh, no! He's been infected. First they took our grass.

[07:09] Then our water supply. Then the humans fell. On the flip side, Yoshi got six gold stickers for his little book. I can't believe the game hasn't crashed yet. I have every surface covered in these flower things.

[07:23] And they just go everywhere every time you touch one. Those guys are called the Flood from Hellymo. How does this only have an 80? Does Nintendo start charging like $10 an hour after Chapter 2? I don't understand.

[07:35] Maybe it's just very front loaded. Maybe all the good creatures are in Chapter 1. See now we've got this guy, I don't know, kind of a Glover-like creature. Where'd he go?

[07:47] Hey, come back. Come back with my money. That girl that's terrific. No wonder he's got some of these books. Now the green one has a blue one, and he's got a pile of leaves on him. Okay, when he puts him on a balloon, what's happening with this green guy?

[08:04] He's so crazy. Right there, now he's getting away. There. God, Jeff, some Yoshi. Oh that turns him into a bouncy ball. Woah he's killing me!

[08:16] Ah! Blue guy, get in there and get that flower. Oh he does get it. Good job. Hey, hey come back. Give it up. Give it up. Give it up.

[08:28] Give it up. There he goes! Now this is a fake old Nintendo character. Kirby, Kirby Dream Land, Kirby's up with yarn. What's cool about Kirby is that he can actually eat Yoshi and absorb my skin. and absorb my powers.

[08:41] He's bubblegum and death? No! I'm in the goop. I'm being frowning for the goop. You are my hero. He can eat Kirby I mean Yoshi Kirby ate Yoshi Who is that Oh I think I spawning more of them every time I jump on one of these

[09:05] Oh, you can go on them all in a row. Oh, now it's getting crazy. Now it's just getting crazy. Look at this. Oh, that! Me fuck the one!

[09:20] Go, Yoshi, go. Oh, mungle! I'm like jumping around with a golden bumblebee inside of a gigantic curvy suit.

[09:36] Now what if I round a house? Now this creature is half bird, half dark. I call him Dark Bird.

[09:48] And he works like a platform, too. This is a little bird umbrella that has the ability to change yellow butterflies to blue, which is incredibly important in the post game. This is Yoshi's great great uncle, Uncle Bowser.

[10:01] OH! Yoshi! Get him out! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Oh this game is cool man!

[10:16] This is Henry. He's a fisherman. Take down. BAPE! BAPE! I got him! I got him!

[10:28] I got him! It's gonna be a big one! Be careful! You're almost there! I got him! I got him!

[10:40] I got a fish for this guy up here. A big one for a fly! Wow! Like a fly! Oh wait, somebody's fishing for me. I'm going to fall for it.

[10:54] This one is sweaty because he doesn't have a little hat. See, the one I have is in the hat. Oh, we got him. We got him. Okay. There's going to be a big one. Hit bow.

[11:06] Oh, yeah. Lower the rod. Lower the rod. The outer line's going to break. The outer line's going to break. The outer line's going to hit. Oh, man. Pick the apple.

[11:18] Get it. Get it. Get it. Rocks off in the bank. Rocks off in the bank. Yeah. It's gone. 80 is nonsense for this. This is the most futuristic game I've played this year easily.

[11:31] The only way to even start making 80 make sense, we got to drop Crimson Desert down to a 33. Forza dropped that down to a 64. Samson bumped that up to a 53 because Tindleson is a funny name.

[11:46] Thank you.