Masters of the Universe: Full Breakdown & Transcript

[00:00] Masters

[00:02] of the Universe

[00:05] >> They don't make studio logos like this

[00:07] anymore with the wild synth score.

[00:08] Gunship even does an homage to this logo

[00:10] and this was the height of Cannon Films,

[00:12] the company at least partially

[00:13] responsible for you knowing what

[00:14] Electric Boogaloo is. The design in this

[00:16] film rules. They took the Filmation's

[00:18] version with the big fangs and made it

[00:20] more human looking, but I love the way

[00:21] the teeth turn into the arch.

[00:28] And no, friends, you're not hearing John

[00:30] Williams' Superman theme. This is He-Man

[00:32] or Motu. And you read that right, Rocky

[00:35] and Karate [music] Kid composer himself,

[00:36] Bill Conti, is responsible. Perfect

[00:38] transition, no notes. It's the one

[00:40] explosion that gave the bad guys control

[00:41] of Castle Grayskull during the credits.

[00:46] And no, friends, it's not Darth Vader,

[00:48] it's Skeletor. Ironically, Cannon

[00:50] pitched this movie as the '80s Star

[00:51] Wars. There's so much to say about Frank

[00:53] Langella's iconic turn as Skeletor, but

[00:55] I'm going to start with something

[00:56] inconsequential. He's using the Havoc

[00:58] Staff like a walking stick and it wraps

[00:59] around But the heels really tie his

[01:01] ensemble together.

[01:02] >> Grayskull

[01:04] is ours.

[01:05] >> No!

[01:11] >> Mine.

[01:13] >> And this is a perfect introduction for

[01:14] him because if he's speaking, he's

[01:16] milking it. I also love that this is the

[01:17] reveal of Skeletor's face, but all we

[01:19] can focus on is the slow finger roll

[01:21] onto the staff.

[01:22] >> Someone is speaking to me.

[01:26] >> The three different angles of him look

[01:27] rad. It's like the school photo I always

[01:28] wanted but never got. You can attempt

[01:30] this aesthetic now with varying results,

[01:32] but back then it just was. He-Man had a

[01:35] bob with bangs and it rocked, but I

[01:37] won't fault them for Dolph's mullet with

[01:38] bangs.

[01:42] >> Kick!

[01:47] >> If you're new to He-Man and that sword

[01:48] confuses you, one of the most fun things

[01:50] about this universe is the blending of

[01:51] fantasy and sci-fi. Star Wars laser

[01:53] blasters and Lord of the Rings swords

[01:55] and sorcery, called sword and planet for

[01:57] some weird

[01:58] I am excited for the new Masters of the

[02:00] Universe, but if He-Man doesn't block

[02:01] lasers with his sword, I will walk out

[02:03] hugging. Also, if Camilla Mendez doesn't

[02:05] have a shag perm cut with headband, I

[02:07] will walk out. I kid, it looks like they

[02:08] went with a more cartoon {slash} comic

[02:10] accurate Teela in the new one, and I

[02:12] just

[02:13] we don't get this look anymore, and

[02:14] we've lost something along the way.

[02:16] Speaking of comic accuracy, Mr.

[02:17] Man-At-Arms.

[02:18] >> A skeleton's voices were hunting me

[02:20] down. A million blessings upon you for

[02:23] saving my life.

[02:24] >> Billy Barty's voice is so iconic,

[02:25] especially if you grew up on Willow and

[02:27] UHF. It takes a magnetic talent to have

[02:29] created a brand new character for this

[02:30] movie that stayed a fan favorite and was

[02:32] added to the primary lore.

[02:33] >> Now, why are you so important to

[02:35] Skeletor?

[02:36] >> Speaking of voices, yes, Dolph

[02:37] Lundgren's voice is dubbed. However,

[02:39] it's dubbed with his own voice. The

[02:40] director wanted to do a Hercules in New

[02:42] York, but Lundgren's contract wouldn't

[02:43] allow it, so instead he ADR'd all his

[02:45] dialogue to the director's liking. The

[02:47] costume and set design in this movie go

[02:48] above and beyond. This film gets a lot

[02:50] of hate for a lot of reasons, but nobody

[02:52] can argue with how it looks. We The

[02:53] Norrians are a peaceful race, trusting

[02:56] in every way. A woman came to see me.

[02:58] How could I know she was from Snake

[03:00] Mountain? SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

[03:01] >> That would be Evil-Lyn.

[03:02] >> Yeah, man.

[03:03] >> Sheesh, how could you have possibly

[03:04] known with the name like Evil-Lyn?

[03:07] Rude.

[03:08] >> I don't like inventions.

[03:10] >> And that's why we're finally getting

[03:11] Orko in the new one. Again, like

[03:13] everyone else in this movie, Karg's hair

[03:15] is undeniable, but the face is nightmare

[03:17] fuel.

[03:17] >> He-Man, we made it. Look.

[03:20] >> The more you get to know Gwildor, the

[03:21] more it makes sense that he didn't clock

[03:23] Evil-Lyn.

[03:23] >> He's taking your power.

[03:25] >> I can withstand him until dawn arrives.

[03:27] >> I always enjoy a good ticking clock in a

[03:29] movie, it ups THE STAKES.

[03:30] >> I DARE ANYTHING.

[03:32] I AM SKELETOR.

[03:34] >> Just an ounce of his confidence and

[03:36] bravado would fix literally all of my

[03:38] problems. Another thing we lost in the

[03:39] modern era of movie making are these

[03:41] scenes where the director must have

[03:42] said, "Okay, just get some coverage of

[03:43] the Storm Troopers." I mean, dang,

[03:45] Skeletor Troopers. Just get some

[03:47] coverage of them firing. Everyone else

[03:48] just play along." And so, Skeletor is

[03:50] just sort of reacting-ish in the

[03:52] background of the shot.

[03:53] >> STOP HIM.

[03:54] >> FLIP. LOVE THE TOUCH of the laser beams

[03:56] bending near the door since it's like a

[03:58] wormhole.

[03:59] >> I must possess all or I possess nothing.

[04:03] >> Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

[04:04] Honestly, there's probably a Motu Star

[04:06] Wars story out there somewhere that

[04:07] needs to be adapted.

[04:09] >> [laughter]

[04:12] >> God, the '80s were weird and kind OF

[04:14] MEAN.

[04:15] >> OH, NO.

[04:17] >> OH, AND HE GOT HIM BACK. I've been

[04:18] waiting for a moment where we see more

[04:19] of him, but it simply cannot wait. Dolph

[04:21] Lundgren's workout routine.

[04:23] >> Good journey.

[04:23] >> Good journey.

[04:24] >> Good journey.

[04:25] >> Goodbye, sad, implies endings played

[04:28] out. Good journey, happy, mysterious,

[04:30] implies a continuation. I'm in. Maybe a

[04:32] new Courteney Cox was in this, but the

[04:33] real question is did you recognize her

[04:35] best friend Rachel Geller's mother

[04:36] immediately or do you have a normal

[04:38] brain?

[04:39] >> If you break up with Kevin Corbin, you

[04:41] will regret it for the rest of your

[04:43] life.

[04:43] >> Can confirm. Grounded for Life never

[04:44] should have been canceled.

[04:45] >> Best thing for you to do right now is to

[04:47] get 3,000 miles away from Kevin, my

[04:49] house, this town, and everything, and

[04:51] just start out fresh.

[04:54] >> I do love what an absolute 180 this

[04:56] whole scene is from the rest of the

[04:57] film, and I think it actually fails the

[04:59] Bedel test since they're talking about

[05:00] Kevin the entire time.

[05:06] Remember, this song I'm not going to do

[05:07] the whole thing. This song is called

[05:08] Living in a Box by a band called Living

[05:09] in a Box. Somehow they have a Wikipedia

[05:11] page and I don't. Until we meet again.

[05:14] >> We were all supposed to go to the beach

[05:15] that day, but I said I had [music] to

[05:17] study cuz I wanted to spend the day with

[05:18] you. So, we did complain and kept

[05:20] meeting instead.

[05:21] >> Lesson learned. They should have taken

[05:22] the ferry.

[05:23] >> I wish I could change things.

[05:25] >> Yeah, we all do, but that's just not

[05:26] possible no matter how much McGuffin

[05:28] synthesizer magic you stumble upon.

[05:30] >> Kim, look at this thing.

[05:33] >> Woah, that is incredible. What is it?

[05:36] >> I'd like to spend a day being this

[05:37] enthralled about finding trash in a

[05:39] cemetery, but when I saw this film as a

[05:40] kid, I was so jealous they found it.

[05:42] Now, as a dad, I cannot believe Julie

[05:44] picked up a smoking, blinking, beeping

[05:46] object of unknown origin. Where are her

[05:48] pair Oh, right.

[05:49] >> This is one of those new Japanese

[05:51] synthesizers.

[05:52] >> Amazing conclusion. Japan, where science

[05:54] and magic are one. I also remember

[05:55] thinking, "How does he know how to play

[05:57] the portal gun?" But it ends up being a

[05:58] main plot point, so I allowed it. The

[06:00] cape swoop just so he can sit is so

[06:01] wonderfully extra.

[06:02] >> How accurate?

[06:04] >> Within a parsec, Eon.

[06:06] >> Now we're really sticking out our tongue

[06:07] at Star Wars because that could make

[06:09] sense. She's listing space and time.

[06:11] Granted, from our point of view, that

[06:12] could be on Earth before any life had

[06:14] formed or somewhere near Proxima

[06:15] Centauri.

[06:16] >> Oh, faith, sorcerers.

[06:18] You won't be lonely long.

[06:20] >> He's such a sassy bee.

[06:25] Dang, '80s teens just didn't know how

[06:27] good they had it, at least with regard

[06:29] to synth music. The visual effects are

[06:31] certainly of their time, but they do

[06:33] genuinely work for the feel of the film.

[06:34] The whole thing feels like a weird

[06:35] dream. That actually is Venice High

[06:37] School. Looks the same on Google Maps.

[06:38] >> Blade.

[06:41] >> That trill. I do remember being

[06:43] disappointed that Beast Man was the only

[06:45] henchman from the original cartoon to

[06:46] make it into the movie. That said,

[06:48] Blade, Saurod, and Karg are all solid

[06:50] substitutions, knowing full well that

[06:51] Saurod will be the first to go out.

[06:53] >> Yes, sorcerers.

[06:55] Good.

[06:56] >> With all that makeup, Frank really has

[06:57] to sell his acting with his eyes, and

[06:59] dang it, does he ever. This is a classic

[07:01] action movie trope, but it's definitely

[07:03] why they call him Blades.

[07:08] Beast Man sound design is something

[07:09] special. Like, maybe he just needs to

[07:11] clear his throat, which is really the

[07:12] most unsettling thing. And that's why

[07:14] they call him Darks. Just an absolute

[07:16] cake of beef.

[07:19] And that's why they call him Doors.

[07:22] >> GET AWAY FROM ME!

[07:23] >> TOTALLY FAIR. As heroic as we know

[07:24] He-Man to be, he's dressed like a

[07:26] weirdo, and I ain't trusting anyone

[07:27] while being chased. But once you see the

[07:29] hair for long enough, you just

[07:30] involuntarily calm down. And then you

[07:32] get picked up like a tiny little girl.

[07:34] Also, I'm like 85% certain I went to

[07:35] youth group with someone whose mom had

[07:36] this haircut. Considering most of us

[07:38] would be pooping our pants at this

[07:39] point, this is absolutely badass. Badass

[07:41] good girl. It's not even a full second

[07:43] long, but this shot of Karg behind Julia

[07:44] is so creepy. I think it's that he's out

[07:46] of focus and also turns toward the

[07:48] camera, but because the focus is on

[07:49] Julia, it takes a second for the

[07:50] audience to realize what we're seeing.

[07:51] This is the type of stuff that would

[07:52] absolutely keep me up at night as a kid.

[07:54] As an adult, I obviously know better.

[07:56] You just don't go to sleep.

[07:58] Fabulous. Happy Pride Month everybody. I

[08:00] mean, she's basically single, but we all

[08:02] become single when blunt beefy steaks

[08:03] hug us. I love the way they're sitting

[08:05] like two gal pals having a chat. All

[08:06] right, I'll do something. I'll take you

[08:08] for a little ride. Let's go. I said it

[08:09] in my Top Gun video and I'll say it

[08:11] again. If you need someone to tell a

[08:12] young punk he's had enough of their

[08:13] guff, you get James Tolkan.

[08:15] >> Did you have any luck?

[08:16] >> Not as much as you, apparently.

[08:18] >> Teela being jealous is amazing. She

[08:19] won't even shake Julia's hand. Feels

[08:21] like a good time as any to point out the

[08:22] 80s-ness of Teela's fit. It's a bodysuit

[08:25] that has a thong detail.

[08:27] But the most skin we see is actually

[08:29] Lundgren's bungerens.

[08:30] >> The people must know that I am

[08:32] Grayskull.

[08:33] >> Again, if you're new to He-Man, the guy

[08:35] sporting a Grayskull as a face saying he

[08:37] wants to be known as Grayskull might be

[08:39] confusing because his name is actually

[08:41] Skeletor. Well, technically it's Keldor,

[08:42] but that's for another day. But

[08:43] Grayskull is Well, we don't we don't

[08:45] really know. It's a castle that grants

[08:47] you the power if you control it. It was

[08:48] a king at one time, the name of a rebel

[08:50] group. Like finding money in an old

[08:52] winter coat, the smell of old books on

[08:53] rainy days, but I think we can all agree

[08:55] that the true Grayskull is the friends

[08:56] we made along the way.

[08:57] >> We We fought with the Eternians, but

[09:00] we're outnumbered.

[09:02] >> To be fair, they did finally retreat

[09:04] because they were Well, evenly numbered

[09:06] if you count Julie. But Beast Man gives

[09:07] Karg a look because not only were they

[09:09] not outnumbered, Beast Man got wrecked

[09:11] by an emo high schooler.

[09:15] >> [screaming]

[09:16] >> Called it. I did not, however, see simp

[09:18] man coming.

[09:19] >> We We live only to serve you.

[09:22] >> So, Skeletor called them mercenaries,

[09:24] which implies they're free agents like

[09:25] Vader's bounty hunters, but when you

[09:27] want to make your big bad team even

[09:28] scarier, you have guns for hire gravel.

[09:30] >> Oh, oh, careful. Careful.

[09:34] >> [laughter]

[09:35] >> It really is the little things, you

[09:36] know? That was the most 80s laugh I've

[09:37] ever heard. Now you understand why we

[09:39] were deathly afraid of microwaves as

[09:40] kids.

[09:41] >> Hey, woah. You can't just take that.

[09:43] >> Oh, yeah? You just watch me.

[09:44] >> Can you imagine if a cop IRL could do

[09:46] that? Like some kind of crazy asset

[09:48] forfeiture. 7 seconds of Burger King.

[09:50] But okay, I've seen this in a few

[09:51] movies. Are people still putting trash

[09:52] in the sink? Is that a thing people do?

[09:54] Also, he put seemingly still good fruit

[09:56] in there. I have questions.

[09:57] >> GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE!

[10:01] >> TOM PARIS is obviously not surprised at

[10:02] all to see an alien monster.

[10:04] >> Have you seen

[10:06] this [music] object?

[10:09] >> Seriously though, Evil-Lyn has some

[10:10] insane tech all based around getting the

[10:12] truth.

[10:14] >> I see only He-Man.

[10:16] Where are the forces that you spoke of?

[10:18] >> Also, just noticing Blade's Shredder

[10:19] shoulder pads and I've decided he's what

[10:21] a committee would come up with tasked

[10:22] with combining Shredder, Deacon from

[10:24] Waterworld, and Lord Humungus, which is

[10:25] why he's so rad.

[10:26] >> This is the native girl who is helping

[10:29] He-Man.

[10:30] >> This may prove useful.

[10:32] >> Back when Chekov's family photo needed

[10:33] to be spelled out. And we'll take it.

[10:35] Sick practical transport. Love the

[10:37] detail of the red glow from its engine

[10:38] on the ground.

[10:42] Speaking of transports, it's fantastic

[10:44] that Gwildor's conversion of the ice car

[10:46] to neutrinos makes it sound like a jet

[10:47] engine.

[10:48] >> It runs on neutrinos now.

[10:50] >> Any other subtitles say lucrinos or

[10:51] ayucrinos? But that's clearly not what

[10:53] he says, and we know time travel is part

[10:54] of his skillset.

[10:55] >> If we dress like this, no one will

[10:57] recognize us.

[10:58] >> What the hell is that?

[10:59] >> See?

[11:01] >> I'll be honest, [laughter] that one got

[11:02] me. Good stuff, Gwildor. Dolph

[11:03] Lundgren's workout routine. We've

[11:05] finally found the answer to where's the

[11:06] beef?

[11:06] >> He-Man, someone's following us.

[11:08] >> What the hell is that?

[11:09] >> The disguise worked again. I love when a

[11:11] production is so proud of the stuff they

[11:12] built. Fun shot.

[11:13] >> You think they don't like us? No,

[11:14] they're just lonely. They miss us.

[11:18] >> It wouldn't be an 80s action scene

[11:19] without calm, snarky banter. We used to

[11:21] make movies in this country.

[11:26] I'm starting to think Skeletor's goons

[11:28] really just hate musical instruments.

[11:33] Woman at arms.

[11:35] >> If you're not making bad jokes mid life

[11:36] threatening situations, I'm not

[11:38] interested.

[11:38] >> I'm going to put you away for 850 years.

[11:42] >> Gwildor has a lot of quirky looks in

[11:44] this movie, but I like to imagine that

[11:45] one is just surprised that humans can

[11:46] live to 850. See, she's wearing the same

[11:48] outfit as the picture, so keen eyed

[11:50] viewers knew that Julie's mom didn't

[11:51] miraculously resurrect. Dang, high

[11:54] school Julie, right in the middle of

[11:55] your future ex-boyfriend probably

[11:57] getting shot. Moms, am I right?

[11:59] >> you so much.

[12:01] >> Evil hug again.

[12:02] >> I don't believe it.

[12:03] >> That's good, you shouldn't.

[12:04] >> You won't believe this.

[12:05] >> HE SHOULDN'T.

[12:07] >> NO!

[12:08] >> ABSOLUTE MASTER CLASS IN A HOW TO SCREAM

[12:10] NO in a campy movie. The pitch, the

[12:12] volume, the hands in the hair and

[12:14] covering the face.

[12:15] >> THAT WOMAN TOOK THE KEY!

[12:16] >> TOOK? TOOK? Really can't stress how much

[12:19] cooler everything just became. This shot

[12:21] is really something. The score is still

[12:22] Imperial Marching as best it can, but

[12:24] because of the context of the rest of

[12:25] the film, the scene can come off as

[12:27] campy skeleton sitting on a big prop.

[12:29] But, use Jóhann Jóhannsson's The Beast

[12:31] from Sicario and it becomes an

[12:33] all-timer. Plus, they really got those

[12:34] trees moving. Wait, the air centurions

[12:36] are robots? That dude just flat out blew

[12:38] up. The mark of a good B movie is at

[12:40] least one shot like this left in where

[12:41] He-Man's sword clearly fell off his

[12:43] back. Heck yeah, getting flashbacks to

[12:45] Drago wrecking Rocky. And this was the

[12:46] only logical outcome of giving him that

[12:48] hair. We need to see the layers in the

[12:50] wind.

[12:53] Nice shot, anti-Skeletor trooper. Aim.

[12:58] >> [screaming]

[13:00] >> Look, I want to make fun of Evil-Lyn for

[13:01] just holding the key like that out in

[13:02] the open, but it's apparently the way

[13:04] you do it. If this movie has shown us

[13:05] anything, it's that the key needs to be

[13:07] cradled like a baby.

[13:11] And let's give He-Man some kudos here.

[13:12] As far as we know, this is his first

[13:14] time ever on a hover disc and Foe is

[13:16] dodging blaster bolts. Flying around

[13:18] like a guy who definitely isn't on a

[13:19] blue screen sound stage.

[13:22] Sword kill.

[13:23] >> I'm more worried about getting us out of

[13:25] here before they find us.

[13:26] >> Heck yeah, extremely effective shot. The

[13:28] distraction of both the dialogue and

[13:29] Gwildor's tracker compass thing makes it

[13:31] so you realize Skeletor is there too

[13:32] late.

[13:34] >> I damn you.

[13:35] >> We never find out what a dork Tim is and

[13:37] I can only assume it's a racial slur.

[13:38] You got to give He-Man credit for

[13:40] wrecking as many fools as he can knowing

[13:41] full well that he's cooked. And it's

[13:43] enough to encourage his comrades to join

[13:45] in. The trooper tipping is maybe the

[13:46] funniest shot of the film, but I love

[13:48] that they attempted to make us think

[13:49] that was planned by having Skeletor

[13:50] laugh at it.

[13:51] >> I'll perish with them on this primitive

[13:54] and tasteless planet.

[13:55] >> Tasteless? Get this man some meat on a

[13:57] white stick.

[13:59] >> This is our fight.

[14:01] >> Self-sacrifice.

[14:02] >> Well said, He-Man.

[14:05] Oh, no buddy.

[14:06] >> There's a word that the queer community

[14:08] would use to describe Skeletor. I just

[14:10] can't quite remember it right now. It's

[14:12] serving something. I don't know. But

[14:14] he's charismatic, unhinged, obviously

[14:16] nefarious, and at all times theatrical.

[14:18] Blade is stoked to have He-Man's sword.

[14:21] >> At the Morat.

[14:22] >> Campy while still unstoppable?

[14:24] Narcissistic? Sure, but triumphant. It's

[14:26] hard to tell where the beard ends and

[14:27] the hair begins, but that's a beautiful

[14:28] beard. Wow, win for making me feel sick

[14:31] out of nowhere. Just put her out of her

[14:32] misery. God, I wish that thing would

[14:34] shut up.

[14:37] >> Oh.

[14:38] Thanks. Helpfulness.

[14:39] >> I don't know. I I just if I hear a tune

[14:41] a couple of times, I can usually

[14:42] remember it.

[14:43] >> In my head this wasn't originally a

[14:44] He-Man script and was only adapted to it

[14:46] later. No, this is a story about a high

[14:48] school keyboard player with perfect

[14:49] pitch who saves the world through the

[14:50] power of song.

[14:51] >> All right, I'm just a stupid keyboard

[14:53] player in a high school band.

[14:55] There's a million of me.

[14:56] >> Only one of you, Kevin.

[14:59] Only one of anybody.

[15:01] >> We all need a Gwildor on our team.

[15:02] >> Men who crave power look back on their

[15:06] mistakes of their lives, pile them all

[15:09] together, and call it destiny.

[15:12] >> The Sorceress, as the kids say, has got

[15:14] bars. Stoked. Dolph Lundgren's loincloth

[15:18] routine. I mean, Dolph Lundgren's

[15:19] workout tape. I mean, I Lundgren's at

[15:21] cat piece. I mean, Dolph Lundgren's

[15:22] workout routine.

[15:25] Bulge. And that's why they call him

[15:26] Whips.

[15:27] >> Jeez, [laughter] even with the obvious

[15:29] stunt driver, that was a short stop. The

[15:31] '80s, man. The '80s.

[15:34] Think we might be witnessing Skeletor

[15:36] have a realization about his preferences

[15:38] in real time?

[15:41] >> I,

[15:42] Skeletor,

[15:43] am master of the universe.

[15:46] >> Right down the barrel. Terrifying, and

[15:48] it works because he's talking into the

[15:50] the camera thing or whatever. There are

[15:51] a few shots in here that I guarantee a

[15:53] few people have tattooed on themselves.

[15:55] >> I am more than man,

[15:57] MORE

[15:58] THAN LIFE.

[16:02] GOD!

[16:03] >> [screaming]

[16:04] >> YEAH, HE'S HE'S SERVING IT. Whatever it

[16:06] is. Frank Langella has stated that this

[16:07] is one of his all-time favorite roles

[16:09] he's played, and it absolutely shows.

[16:11] Dude is having fun vamping and makes it

[16:13] fun to watch. Beast Man is not a fan of

[16:15] the bright lights.

[16:16] He thinks iconic, snatched, fabulous.

[16:19] Shantay, you stay.

[16:20] >> Tell me about the loneliness of good,

[16:23] He-Man. Is it equal

[16:25] to the loneliness of evil?

[16:27] >> With offer plausible deniability, it

[16:29] sounds like a taunt, but it really feels

[16:30] like he's reaching out to find common

[16:32] ground. After the car and the wall being

[16:34] transported as well.

[16:35] >> You promised not TO HURT THEM.

[16:37] >> I LIED.

[16:38] >> HONESTY.

[16:38] >> [snorts]

[16:41] >> IF THE '80S DID ONE THING WELL, it was

[16:42] get us to root for the grungy cop. Cuz

[16:44] dang it if I'm not hyped for Lubic. Yes,

[16:46] using one goon as a weapon against

[16:48] another goon is always a win. They're

[16:50] always really quick shots, but Dolph

[16:51] does this plain face like no one else.

[16:54] The full gold outfit is genuinely

[16:55] creepy, and that helmet is an 11 out of

[16:57] 10. Nice. Not enough heroes swinging

[16:58] across the screen these days.

[17:00] Hollywood's lost the plot. He-Man's

[17:01] power set is never really established in

[17:03] this movie. He's Dolph Lundgren, enough

[17:04] said. But I like it because his biggest

[17:06] ability seems to be determination.

[17:08] Getting zapped, try harder, get good.

[17:14] There it is. And while I kind of wish

[17:15] the syntax was closer to the cartoon,

[17:17] Lundgren went his own way with it,

[17:19] maybe. The lips are out of sync, so who

[17:21] could say?

[17:21] >> From my MEMORY FOREVER.

[17:22] >> YOU ARE A FOOL.

[17:23] >> YES! [screaming]

[17:24] >> LOVE THAT HE CUTS HIM OFF. APPARENTLY,

[17:25] THE actual reason there's no one else in

[17:26] the throne room is the film's funding

[17:28] got held up, so the director paid for it

[17:29] himself to stay on schedule. So, they

[17:31] shot this with a skeleton crew, pun

[17:32] intended. But, whatever the reason, it

[17:34] sincerely makes this fight much more

[17:35] dynamic and interesting to watch.

[17:37] >> LET THIS BE OUR FINAL BATTLE.

[17:42] >> AND I totally believe that the clashing

[17:44] of the Havoc Staff and the Power Sword

[17:45] sent them to a pocket dimension for

[17:47] their final confrontation. Also, just

[17:48] like to point out that Skeletor is using

[17:50] his helmet as a shield. Badass bad guy.

[17:52] Why wait three movies to throw your

[17:54] gray-robed electric-powered big bad down

[17:56] a bottomless shaft?

[17:58] Bottom.

[17:59] >> Victory!

[18:00] >> Victory!

[18:03] >> Victory.

[18:04] >> Honestly, the most unkempt moment in the

[18:06] entire thing, and it belongs to Dolph.

[18:08] >> I got a castle.

[18:09] I got a view, I got clean air, I got a

[18:11] beautiful woman, huh?

[18:13] >> Dude works fast. I mean, it was the

[18:14] '80s, they were just awarding pretty

[18:15] ladies to all the victors. That's the

[18:17] real lore you don't know about. Chewie

[18:18] didn't want a medal, he opted for hot

[18:20] Wookiee tail. You know what? I'd never

[18:21] speak so crassly about Malla.

[18:23] >> Don't

[18:24] don't say goodbye.

[18:27] Say good journey.

[18:29] >> I always want to mock these sappy

[18:30] moments, not because I don't love me

[18:31] some sap, but because they met like 6

[18:33] hours ago, max. But, here's the thing,

[18:35] high-stress situations can definitely

[18:37] create fast bonds, so I'll allow it. She

[18:39] just got baby oil all over her cheek, I

[18:41] mean hugging.

[18:42] >> We will wait for you back.

[18:45] >> Love that she said the line, but they

[18:46] faded it out in the editing, so we get

[18:48] the fun surprise. Dang, that's some deep

[18:50] wall art, Julie. But, how will we know

[18:52] she was sleeping if she isn't in this

[18:54] awful oversized nightgown? Look, we know

[18:56] it's real, but you got to wonder if

[18:57] Julie had a millisecond of fear that

[18:59] Evil-Lyn was messing with her again.

[19:00] Would have been a fun touch to put the

[19:01] mom in the same outfit, but I'm glad

[19:03] they didn't. HGA all day.

[19:08] That's how you end a movie. No, no, my

[19:10] mistake. That's how you end a film. I

[19:12] will be back.

[19:13] >> Ha! You will not, but they did a

[19:15] post-credit scene way before it was

[19:17] cool. What more can you even say about

[19:18] MOTU 1987? It's kind of bad, but mostly

[19:21] in a so bad it's good kind of way, while

[19:23] still being really fun when it's not

[19:24] bad. It's a movie of its time, and Frank

[19:26] Langella serves.

[19:28] The craziest thing to me is finding out

[19:29] years later that Dolph Lundgren is

[19:30] actually a great actor, but sometimes

[19:32] you just can't overcome the B-ness of a

[19:34] movie. I honestly wasn't all that

[19:35] excited for the new one, not because it

[19:36] doesn't look awesome, but I'm dead

[19:38] inside and nothing brings me joy. No,

[19:39] that's that's not it. I don't know, but

[19:40] whatever. I am now. Might even go see it

[19:42] on the big screen. But I'm taking a

[19:43] break next week to get ready for my

[19:44] kids' dual birthday parties and to mark

[19:46] this moment in time, prepare to have

[19:47] your minds blown if you've been here

[19:49] since 2017. Nine and five. That's right,

[19:52] we're all old because this is the last

[19:53] year my boy isn't single digits. Anyway,

[19:55] I'll be back the week after with a fun

[19:56] one.

[20:01] >> [cheering]

[20:05] [screaming]

[20:07] [music]

[20:07] >> You guys

[20:08] You guys

[20:11] I will be back, hey Skeletor.

[20:14] >> [screaming]

[20:14] >> I couldn't take it