Everything Wrong With EVERY Matrix Movie (That We've Sinned So Far)

[00:11] Did you hear that?

[00:12] >> Hear what?

[00:13] >> Are you sure this line is clean?

[00:14] >> Later, when they find out the call was

[00:16] traced, it somehow doesn't occur to

[00:17] Morpheus or Trinity that Cipher is

[00:18] either bad at his job or just a dick.

[00:23] >> POLICE IN YOUR HEAD. WHY DOES Trinity or

[00:26] anyone for that matter from the

[00:27] Nebuchadnezzar need to physically jack

[00:29] into the Matrix to keep an eye on Neo?

[00:30] Doesn't Morpheus watch him and see and

[00:32] guide his every move in the office

[00:34] building in just a few minutes? I love

[00:36] this opening scene as much as anyone,

[00:38] but it's still pretty unnecessary in the

[00:40] grand scheme of keeping an eye on Neo.

[00:42] >> I think we can handle one little girl.

[00:44] >> Hey, how come the agents don't already

[00:45] know it's Trinity? How come they didn't

[00:47] leap into one of the cops in room 303

[00:49] with Trinity at gunpoint the second they

[00:50] burst into the room and saw her or once

[00:52] she started kicking ass?

[00:55] That's impossible.

[00:56] >> I'm guessing Agent Smith and his two

[00:58] partners go around with the Men in Black

[00:59] memory eraser after these missions.

[01:01] Doing impossible stunts, jumping into

[01:03] other people and taking over their

[01:04] bodies. This gives away the idea of the

[01:06] Matrix to normal people. Right.

[01:12] [music]

[01:13] Agent sees Trinity running, but instead

[01:14] of shooting her or chasing after her,

[01:16] decides to watch her run away as if he's

[01:18] never seen running before.

[01:23] Why is the light swinging? I admit it's

[01:26] a cool shot, but it wasn't hit by debris

[01:28] or even the wind when she dove through

[01:29] the window and it stopped swinging in

[01:31] the next shot as evidenced by the light

[01:33] not moving. The agents have to visually

[01:35] confirm someone like Trinity in order to

[01:36] know exactly where she is. So, how did

[01:38] the agents know to morph into this truck

[01:40] driver? How did they know which phone

[01:42] booth she would be headed for? Trinity

[01:43] is a dead woman if Agent Smith doesn't

[01:45] stop and wait here for a few seconds to

[01:47] give the movie's plot a chance to even

[01:48] happen. Come to think of it, why did he

[01:50] even feel compelled to turn the vehicle?

[01:52] Couldn't he have just smashed into the

[01:53] phone booth on his way down the street?

[01:55] Truck does a Fred Flintstone tire spin

[01:56] to buy Trinity even more time to barely

[01:58] escape. Truck is always further away

[02:00] than it was the last time we saw it so

[02:01] that this escape is possible.

[02:03] >> We have the name of their next target.

[02:05] The name is Neo. We'll need a search

[02:07] running.

[02:08] >> Why are the humans able to use computers

[02:10] inside your computer program to find a

[02:12] person by his alias faster than Well,

[02:15] computers are? How do you not know who

[02:17] and where Neo is instantly?

[02:23] Neo is somehow awakened by online chat.

[02:26] What is this [ __ ] on Neo's computer

[02:28] monitor?

[02:29] >> My own personal Jesus Christ.

[02:30] >> Movie hits the Jesus metaphor a little

[02:32] square on the head.

[02:33] >> Something wrong, man? You look a little

[02:35] whiter than usual.

[02:36] >> That's racist.

[02:37] >> It's called masculine. It's the only way

[02:39] to fly.

[02:40] >> Movie promptly dates itself 9 minutes in

[02:42] with a reference to masculine of all

[02:43] drugs. Why not angel dust or speedballs?

[02:46] I know Morpheus could probably tell

[02:47] these [ __ ] were coming to Neo's

[02:48] apartment, but how the did he know the

[02:50] girl with the white rabbit tattoo would

[02:51] turn her shoulder to expose the tattoo?

[02:54] And how did he know Neo would see it?

[02:55] Isn't this follow the white rabbit just

[02:57] a bit too koi when the fate of the world

[02:58] is in the balance?

[02:59] >> My name is Trinity.

[03:01] >> Trinity

[03:02] >> as in father, son, and holy ghost. Wait,

[03:04] does this movie have religious

[03:05] symbolism?

[03:07] >> And it will find you.

[03:09] >> Why was it so important to have Neo go

[03:10] to the club just to tell him the Matrix

[03:12] is real and it will find him? I mean,

[03:14] couldn't you have typed that on the

[03:15] computer instead of follow the white

[03:16] rabbit? Computer software company has no

[03:18] mechanisms in place to determine when

[03:19] flaky employees are just sitting in

[03:21] their cubicle meditating instead of

[03:22] doing actual work. It seems like Trinity

[03:24] could have given him this phone last

[03:25] night at the club, but Morpheus relies

[03:27] on FedEx to send it to him. Hell, they

[03:29] could even have been talking well before

[03:30] Neil went into work today and he could

[03:32] have avoided this altogether. Also, this

[03:33] phone is conveniently delivered just

[03:35] before the agents show up. How is

[03:36] Morpheus able to see Neil's location and

[03:38] guide him through the building? But the

[03:39] agents who are connected to this entire

[03:41] computer system called the Matrix have

[03:43] no idea where Neo is.

[03:44] >> Why is this happening to me? What I do?

[03:48] >> Computer hacker and illegal software

[03:49] salesman asks why me as FBI people chase

[03:52] him around his workplace. I know we're

[03:53] in the Matrix right now, but why doesn't

[03:55] this thing carving its way into Neo's

[03:56] belly button leave any blood anywhere?

[03:58] >> Then go to the Adam Street Bridge.

[04:00] >> Morpheus gives Neo a meat location on a

[04:02] tapped phone and miraculously no agents

[04:04] are there waiting for him when he

[04:05] arrives.

[04:06] >> Think you're bugged. Not that it's

[04:07] mattered from the time you left your

[04:08] apartment to go to the Atom Street

[04:10] Bridge to getting in a mysterious car.

[04:12] Also, why bug Neo in the first place?

[04:14] Can't you just track his movements

[04:15] through the Matrix itself? Remember,

[04:18] >> all I'm offering is the truth, nothing

[04:20] more.

[04:21] >> That statement actually couldn't be less

[04:22] true.

[04:29] >> Dramatic thunder and lightning is

[04:30] dramatic.

[04:31] >> It means buckle your seat belt, Dorothy,

[04:33] cuz Kansas is going bye-bye.

[04:37] Dramatic thunder and lightning is

[04:38] repetitive. Here's that guy Morpheus was

[04:40] interested in. Better disconnect him and

[04:41] totally forget why he woke up in the

[04:43] first place. Neo pulls out this IV

[04:45] without knowing what it does or whether

[04:46] it keeps him alive.

[04:47] >> We have only bits and pieces of

[04:49] information.

[04:49] >> So all the stuff that doesn't make

[04:51] sense. We'll just chalk up to that.

[04:52] >> Birth to AI.

[04:54] >> AI? You mean artificial intelligence?

[04:56] >> Well, you're a hacker, so yeah, you know

[04:58] what AI means.

[05:00] >> We don't know who struck first, but we

[05:02] know that it was us that scorched the

[05:04] sky.

[05:04] >> What? How and how does that keep the sun

[05:07] out? Did they blow up the sun? How is

[05:09] that accomplished? How do you know about

[05:11] this very specific detail and nothing

[05:13] else?

[05:14] >> The oracle prophesized his return.

[05:16] >> Prophecy that one man will save us all.

[05:17] Cliche.

[05:18] >> I believe that search is over.

[05:19] >> What is it that made Morpheus think Neo

[05:21] was the one? He's a computer hacker who

[05:23] works at a software company. No skills

[05:25] in the area of badasserie. Nothing

[05:26] incredibly notable accomplished in his

[05:28] life. What was the one thing that said,

[05:29] "Yep, this dude is totally worth going

[05:31] through lots of trouble to unplug from

[05:33] the matrix." near the Earth's core where

[05:34] it's still warm.

[05:35] >> Oh, come on. It's probably a lot more

[05:37] than warm, right? Sun doesn't have

[05:39] anything to do with the core

[05:40] temperature. That is hot because of a

[05:42] variety of factors, including

[05:43] radioactive decay and awesome science

[05:45] stuff. Even if he's talking about the

[05:46] mantle, that [ __ ] is too hot. People

[05:48] would be burned alive going to Zion.

[05:51] >> Wa!

[05:52] >> Squiddy's sweeping in quick.

[05:54] >> Why do the human ships have radar-like

[05:56] ability to detect squiddies at greater

[05:57] distances than the squiddies can detect

[05:59] human ships? Why didn't the machines

[06:00] just put motion detection sensors all

[06:02] over the place so the human ships would

[06:03] be unable to move at all without being

[06:05] spotted? Why are the squiddies

[06:06] programmed only to look for electrical

[06:07] signatures of the human ships instead of

[06:09] biological signs of life or hell large

[06:11] metal things that are hovercraft shaped?

[06:13] >> The matrix.

[06:14] >> Do you always look at it in coding?

[06:16] >> Well, you have to.

[06:17] >> Wait, so when Morpheus was guiding Neo

[06:18] through the office cubicles, was he

[06:20] actually looking at falling green lines

[06:22] of code? Is this movie actually saying

[06:24] these people learn how to see real

[06:25] images in this code? Isn't Cippher

[06:27] jacked into some machine back at the

[06:29] ship? Is everyone asleep? There's not

[06:30] one person who could just happen to walk

[06:32] by and see Cipher hooked into the Matrix

[06:33] and see him talking with an agent. And

[06:35] how does Cipher get back? I thought it

[06:37] required someone back at the ship to

[06:38] wake you up and get you out of the

[06:39] matrix with a hard line. Is this the

[06:40] first time he's eaten since he got here?

[06:42] After all that training and [ __ ] he

[06:43] should be well aware of the awful

[06:45] non-matrix food.

[06:47] It's very cool, but how do they make a

[06:49] connection on this call if there's no

[06:51] one on the other end to pick it up? Like

[06:52] Neo will be racing for a ringing phone

[06:54] by the end of this movie. And if he

[06:55] could just pick it up instead of getting

[06:56] shot, he'd establish the connection and

[06:58] transport back out. But leaping into the

[07:00] Matrix, they still use real phone lines,

[07:02] but it's apparently just for show. I

[07:04] honestly don't know.

[07:06] >> [ __ ] it.

[07:07] >> We're in.

[07:08] >> Wait, they went back into the Matrix to

[07:09] see the Oracle. So, is the Oracle part

[07:11] of the Matrix or is she plugged in

[07:13] somewhere? Don't even bring up the

[07:14] sequels when you defend this [ __ ]

[07:15] either.

[07:16] >> I can only show you the door. You have

[07:17] to walk through it.

[07:18] >> What an [ __ ] What was said was for

[07:21] you and for you alone.

[07:22] >> Which is why I told you what the oracle

[07:24] told me while we were on the elevator.

[07:30] >> Deja vu.

[07:30] >> This has kind of always bothered me even

[07:32] though it's actually really cool and I

[07:33] accept it as a fantastic idea. But this

[07:35] is not deja vu as we humans normally

[07:37] experience it. You don't see something

[07:39] and then see an absolute repeat of it 2

[07:41] seconds later and go, "Wow, dja vu." And

[07:43] you usually experience something and

[07:45] feel like you've done it before, but it

[07:47] feels like you did it long ago. and

[07:49] chuck this up to plot convenience, even

[07:50] though it's awesome. The hole wasn't

[07:52] there when they opened the door, so they

[07:54] basically kicked a hole in the wall

[07:55] without anyone hearing it. Amazing.

[07:59] Neo should definitely be dead from these

[08:00] bullets, but it's not time for this

[08:02] movie's bad guys to have good aim yet.

[08:04] >> You must get Neo.

[08:06] >> Damn, Smith is taking this like he's a

[08:07] mannequin or some

[08:10] Yeah. No, still not time for good aim.

[08:13] Why are there like no agents down here?

[08:15] Stopping the guys from going back to the

[08:16] ship is an important part of the plan.

[08:18] In fact, why don't they send 20 or 100

[08:20] agents for a mission like this?

[08:22] >> You all look the same to me.

[08:23] >> That's racist. Tank takes two hits from

[08:25] the electricity gun, but lives and is

[08:27] basically fine. Even while only one

[08:29] brief shot from the same gun later takes

[08:30] out Cipher completely.

[08:31] >> That red pill right up your ass.

[08:33] >> You can see Morpheus blink at the wind

[08:35] power of Cipher's pee in pill.

[08:37] >> Just pull a plug here.

[08:38] >> Murderous traitor conveniently kills

[08:39] good guys in the order of their

[08:41] importance to the remainder of the

[08:42] story.

[08:43] >> No, I don't believe it.

[08:45] >> I don't believe it either. The leader of

[08:47] every ship has given codes to Zion's

[08:49] mainframe computer.

[08:50] >> So you can't just send a message to Zion

[08:52] and say, "Yo, change the codes. They got

[08:54] Morpheus and they're going to make him

[08:56] talk. Peace."

[08:57] >> Those are agents holding him. Three of

[08:59] them.

[08:59] >> I know. I can't believe it's not more

[09:01] either.

[09:02] >> That's why I have to go.

[09:03] >> Why? Because I believe in something.

[09:06] >> What?

[09:06] >> Neo stopped short of explaining himself

[09:08] twice in a row so that Trinity and Tank

[09:09] have to ask him what the hell he's

[09:11] talking about.

[09:12] >> Every mammal on this planet.

[09:14] >> What mammals? Are there still other

[09:16] mammals out there? Are they hooked up to

[09:17] the matrix, too? Dreaming about being in

[09:19] fields and getting taken down by

[09:20] mountain lions? Because there sure as

[09:22] hell aren't any other mammals in the

[09:23] real world, what with the sky scorched

[09:25] and all? Why are you talking about all

[09:26] the planets other now dead mammals in

[09:28] the present tense, you ass? Still not

[09:31] time for good aim. Using lift instead of

[09:32] elevator proves we're not in an American

[09:34] city.

[09:37] So, these guys with radios heard the

[09:38] call for backup in the lobby, but didn't

[09:40] deem it an important matter until all

[09:41] the backup SWAT guys died, too. Why are

[09:43] they bursting in to tell Smith about it

[09:45] instead of leaping into the SWAT guys 30

[09:47] seconds ago and killing Neo?

[09:49] What the hell is this agent waiting for?

[09:51] THEY DON'T SEE YOU.

[09:53] >> OH, now he pulls out the gun. And as you

[09:56] can see, pulling it out now has terrible

[09:57] disadvantages, like Neo being able to

[09:59] dodge the bullets.

[10:03] >> Only human.

[10:04] >> Even agents with artificial intelligence

[10:05] have to say some [ __ ] just before

[10:07] they kill someone so that the hero can

[10:08] be saved at the last second.

[10:10] >> Dodge this. However, when the roles are

[10:12] reversed and the good guy has to say

[10:13] some [ __ ] but apparently there is

[10:14] not enough time for the bad guy to get

[10:16] saved. Honestly, I know he's the one and

[10:18] everything, but even the one would have

[10:19] a hard time seeing the agents he wants

[10:21] to kill and the Morpheus he doesn't want

[10:23] to kill from this perspective,

[10:24] especially with the sprinklers going

[10:25] crazy on the inside.

[10:28] [groaning and screaming]

[10:30] I guess Morpheus just finally realized

[10:31] there are no handcuffs. This This is the

[10:34] one and only moment in the movie when

[10:35] the bad guy has good aim. when he's

[10:37] being rained on by sprinklers firing

[10:39] blind from behind a wall.

[10:41] >> The Oracle,

[10:42] >> she told you

[10:44] exactly what you needed to hear.

[10:45] >> Okay, fine. We're going to go with that

[10:47] Star Wars stuff where Obi-Wan said

[10:48] Anakin Skywalker was dead. And then

[10:50] later we find out, oh, it was just a

[10:51] perspective I had that wasn't misleading

[10:53] in any way whatsoever. [snorts] But did

[10:55] Neo really need to hear the Oracle's

[10:56] prophecy about Morpheus sacrificing his

[10:58] life for him and he'd have to make a

[11:00] choice? Wouldn't he have made the choice

[11:01] to try and save Morpheus anyway? Also,

[11:03] why did she literally spell out the

[11:04] future for everyone else that saw her

[11:06] and only get all reverse psychology on

[11:07] Neo? This spelling of authorized proves

[11:09] we're not in an American city. I

[11:11] guarantee you there are hundred other

[11:12] homeless people reacting to things like

[11:14] pedestrians, air, the sky, the traffic

[11:16] lights with just as much enthusiasm as

[11:18] this guy does, and it doesn't set off

[11:20] any alarms in the Matrix. How does the

[11:22] information from this just woke up

[11:23] vision stand out to the machines as

[11:25] important from all the other homeless

[11:27] people are seeing and getting excited

[11:28] about all over the city?

[11:29] >> Neo, I want to tell you something.

[11:31] Something that can wait until after

[11:32] we're back on the ship, but feel the

[11:33] need to delay you with right now. Train

[11:35] drives through an empty station and

[11:36] never stops because it only comes during

[11:38] dramatic moments. Cliche.

[11:39] >> Uh, help. Need a little help. The door.

[11:42] >> The one can't find a door in plain view,

[11:45] which was his only option. How is it

[11:47] possible that none of the Nebuchadnezzar

[11:48] crew remember this building from the

[11:50] opening scene like Agent Smith does?

[11:52] Especially Trinity, who wasing there.

[11:57] [music]

[11:58] Even though Neo's mind believed himself

[11:59] to be dead, the power of boners is far

[12:01] stronger.

[12:02] >> And then I'm going to show these people

[12:03] what you don't want them to see. For

[12:05] instance, the two sequels to this movie.

[12:07] Also, the two sequels to this movie.

[12:15] Okay, we get it. The Matrix digital

[12:19] programming. This is Neo's dream about

[12:21] Trinity dying. And it's so detailed he

[12:23] dreams of the guy clocking out at the

[12:24] end of his shift.

[12:26] Was

[12:28] the motorcycle rigged with C4 or

[12:30] something? Ah, a full 0001% of the

[12:32] bullets fired in this scene found their

[12:34] target. Opening scene was just a dream

[12:36] cliche. Also, so much for that I'm going

[12:38] to show these people a world without you

[12:40] mission that Neo promised at the end of

[12:41] the first Matrix.

[12:42] >> I can't say I fully understand your

[12:44] reasons for volunteering.

[12:45] >> Well, I can say it. The guy that played

[12:46] Tank got all divish and demanded too

[12:48] much money, causing the screenwriters to

[12:49] invent both Link and his reason for

[12:51] joining the crew.

[12:52] >> That's right.

[12:52] >> That can't be.

[12:53] >> Why not? Morpheus somehow heard this

[12:55] conversation all the way back here.

[12:56] >> Morpheus, glad you could join us.

[12:58] >> Naobbi.

[12:59] >> Movie finds a clunky way to let us know

[13:00] what Naobbi's name is.

[13:02] >> We're going to do what Commander Lock

[13:03] ordered us to do. We'll evacuate

[13:05] broadcast level and return to Zion.

[13:07] >> So, why the meeting? Why didn't everyone

[13:09] head back to Zion after the order? Is it

[13:11] so Morpheus could suggest one of the

[13:12] ships stay behind?

[13:13] >> How did you know someone was here?

[13:15] >> This dude is somehow unaware of Neo's

[13:16] supernatural powers. Also, showdown

[13:18] number one with Agent Smith pushed to

[13:20] later in the film because I guess Smith

[13:22] just wants to play games and be koi, but

[13:23] also probably the script. Look, I get

[13:25] it. You're trying to show that Neo is

[13:27] soing awesome at fighting that he's

[13:28] really only humoring these [ __ ] and

[13:30] even with upgrades, they still can't

[13:31] beat him. The problem is that's [ __ ]

[13:33] boring. And also, I think the Wowskis

[13:35] are the only people on planet Earth who

[13:36] forgot Neo could disintegrate agents by

[13:38] jumping into them because he doesn't do

[13:40] any of that in this entire movie. Also,

[13:42] I truly believe this movie suffers from

[13:43] the same issue plaguing most Superman

[13:45] movies. The hero is too indestructible

[13:47] for us to give a [ __ ] during the action

[13:48] sequences. All right, now that I've

[13:50] killed these agents, time to fly out of

[13:51] here and go to the oracle's apartment

[13:52] all of a sudden.

[13:53] >> Is Neo okay?

[13:54] >> Okay, Morpheus, you should have seen

[13:56] him.

[13:56] >> It was exactly like the first movie,

[13:57] only way more boring. Also, it was

[13:59] Trinity who asked the question, but

[14:01] Morpheus is the one with the phone. So,

[14:02] how did Link hear her? And why did he

[14:04] specifically address Morpheus with that

[14:05] answer?

[14:06] >> He's doing this Superman thing.

[14:07] >> Oh, so he's breaking someone's neck.

[14:09] Also, DC Comics Rubber Neo number one.

[14:11] If the oracle's true message in the

[14:13] first movie was know thyself, and it

[14:14] was, then why are Neo and the others

[14:16] completely powerless to do anything

[14:17] without hearing from her again? Last

[14:19] time they were positive they needed her

[14:20] advice and she told Neo he wasn't the

[14:22] one. An outright lie.

[14:27] Stalking these people are jacked into

[14:29] some sort of flight control matrix down

[14:31] in Zion. Why the four movie rips off the

[14:34] robot mech suits from aliens. Also, this

[14:36] [ __ ] quit doing his job before the

[14:37] gate closed completely. Slacker. I want

[14:39] the ship ready to go as soon as humanly

[14:41] possible.

[14:42] >> I thought that was the point of your

[14:42] ship coming back anyway. You needed to

[14:44] recharge. You have 36 hours to go back.

[14:46] I guess this is a long way of me saying

[14:48] unnecessary orders. Also, this is just a

[14:50] bunch of clips and a mag light maybe and

[14:52] I think a meat thermometer.

[14:54] >> What is it between them?

[14:55] >> Neo knows there's a deeper story here

[14:56] because the script said exposition scene

[14:58] at the top of the page.

[14:59] >> What is it between them?

[15:00] >> Morpheus and Log Naobi.

[15:02] >> Also, Neo plays the pronoun game. So,

[15:03] that Trinity has to ask who the hell he

[15:04] means by them.

[15:05] >> Doesn't have anything better to do.

[15:06] >> You know what they say about the life

[15:08] you save? It's worth two in the bush.

[15:09] You either saw the Animatrix or you

[15:11] didn't. Either way, you're probably

[15:12] wondering why they crammed this stupid

[15:13] kid into this movie.

[15:14] >> I told you, kid. You found me.

[15:15] >> Neo makes a casual reference to a far

[15:17] better Matrix film. Steampunk Office is

[15:19] steampunk.

[15:19] >> I don't care about oracles or prophecies

[15:21] or messiahs.

[15:22] >> Bad guy speaks for the audience. Neo,

[15:24] >> not everyone believes what you believe.

[15:26] >> Come on. You mean all the stuff Neo did

[15:28] in the first movie is simply a legend.

[15:30] Nobody knows the story of how Neo flew

[15:32] into an agent and destroyed him.

[15:34] Everyone was like, that Morpheus, he's

[15:35] always telling tales. God damn, it's

[15:37] [music] good to be home.

[15:38] >> Home is a piece of [ __ ] This pandown

[15:40] shot is kind of cool, but it greatly

[15:42] exaggerates the size of Zion's

[15:43] population and requisite housing

[15:45] infrastructure requirements.

[15:47] >> Needy people cockpock. Also, the

[15:49] philosophy that Neo is some sort of

[15:50] Jesus becomes mind-numbingly literal.

[15:52] >> Where's my [ __ ]

[15:53] >> How many girlfriends would let you refer

[15:54] to them as your [ __ ] My guess is none.

[15:57] Awesome badass chick Gina Torres from

[15:58] Alias Firefly and Angel gets about 30

[16:00] seconds in this movie.

[16:01] >> Tank and Dosa believed it. After all

[16:03] that [ __ ] with Tank surviving in the

[16:04] last movie, this movie decides that Tank

[16:06] died somehow without explanation since

[16:09] then. Basically, you tank

[16:11] >> been seeing Neo do the things he can do.

[16:13] >> Like what? Flying and calmly beating up

[16:14] agents. We saw all that in the first

[16:16] movie.

[16:16] >> I give you Morphe.

[16:18] >> Polarizing figure Morpheus somehow gets

[16:19] cheers from 99% of the crowd. Discount

[16:23] stomp. And who designed these things?

[16:24] Dr. Seuss. It's obvious the Wowskis

[16:26] decided to put a weird rave scene in the

[16:28] first act of both this and the first

[16:29] Matrix movie. What's not obvious ising

[16:32] why we haven't had sex in ages. We're

[16:33] dying to [ __ ] But hang on a few minutes

[16:35] while I light all these candles. So,

[16:37] here we are at the 30-minute mark

[16:38] dancing. PG-13 sex in an R-rated movie.

[16:41] Hardly any ass kicked at this point, and

[16:43] we're at the exact same spot plot-wise

[16:45] as we were 20 minutes ago.

[16:47] This is sort of like Neo thinking about

[16:49] baseball so he doesn't climax too soon.

[16:50] Also, did the orgasm make him think

[16:52] about the nightmare, or did the

[16:53] nightmare assist in the orgasm?

[16:54] >> All that matters is this.

[16:55] >> Wait, what? They obviously can't take

[16:58] physical items with them through the

[16:59] phone line. So, is this envelope

[17:01] symbolic? The [ __ ] I am so confused

[17:04] right now. Does this mean that if Neo

[17:05] answered the call intended for Trinity,

[17:07] he could be inside Trinity? That sounds

[17:09] really dirty, but seriously, once Agent

[17:11] Smith takes this dude's body, why does a

[17:13] phone call transportation system still

[17:14] allow him to transport? I figure you

[17:16] have to contain the same DNA of the guy

[17:17] you're transporting into, or else the

[17:18] Matrix wouldn't allow it, right?

[17:20] >> I just haven't been able to sleep much.

[17:21] >> We interrupt this Matrix sequel to bring

[17:23] you boring.

[17:24] >> Old men like me don't bother with making

[17:25] points. This movie is definitely going

[17:27] to make up for its violation of the

[17:28] asskicking protocol later on, but the

[17:30] question is, will I still be awake by

[17:32] the time it gets there?

[17:33] >> Neil, he's from the oracle.

[17:34] >> Wait, that's not that's not the

[17:37] important message from the envelope that

[17:38] can't possibly have come through the

[17:40] phone line from a computer program into

[17:41] the physical world, is it?

[17:43] >> You know, I don't believe in this stuff,

[17:44] >> but I [music] do. It's always brought me

[17:46] luck.

[17:46] >> You maintain a belief system that is

[17:48] based on luck. You know, it took me a

[17:49] while to figure out this was Agent Smith

[17:50] inside this dude's body. I mean, we saw

[17:52] him twice, but both times he wore

[17:54] sunglasses. or was in shadows. So, at

[17:57] this point, he just seems like the

[17:58] random dude who hates Neo or discount

[18:00] Cipher from the first movie.

[18:02] >> Stupid kid ex Machina.

[18:03] >> Bane.

[18:04] >> Seriously, this dude's name is Bane. Did

[18:06] his parents know that one day he would

[18:07] be possessed by Agent Smith and become a

[18:09] bad guy? Batman much. Good luck. So, he

[18:11] could easily stab Neo right now, right?

[18:13] Neo isn't in the Matrix. Doesn't have

[18:15] access to his badass powers, and there

[18:17] are a million Agent Smiths in the

[18:18] Matrix. So, even if he fails and dies,

[18:20] who cares? You were going to take a

[18:21] chance and stab him in the back. So, why

[18:23] not now? Also, why a knife? This dude

[18:25] has access to guns, right?

[18:27] >> Or am I still in charge of our def?

[18:28] >> Oh, look, more talking. I like kung fu

[18:30] as much as the next guy. But is it

[18:32] always supposed to be this boring?

[18:33] >> I had to be sure of what? That you are

[18:35] the one.

[18:35] >> That dumbass fight we just saw proves

[18:37] Neo is the one. Also, Sarif plays the

[18:39] stop short game so that Neo has to ask

[18:40] him what the hell he meant by I had to

[18:42] be sure.

[18:42] >> You do not truly know someone until you

[18:44] fight them. movie sets up a ridiculously

[18:45] delicious premise, but then never

[18:47] delivers on it by having something

[18:48] unexpectedly badass happen. Like Neo

[18:50] having to fight Morpheus or Trinity or

[18:52] someone he thinks he knows in order to

[18:54] find out they're actually traitors or

[18:55] something. Instead, no, just a saying.

[18:58] [ __ ] you, Angel dude.

[18:59] >> You do not truly know someone until you

[19:01] fight them.

[19:01] >> Also, I keep telling my potential

[19:03] girlfriends that, but I always end up

[19:04] bloodied at the antique shop.

[19:05] >> The ones doing their job, doing what

[19:07] they were meant to do, are invisible.

[19:09] >> I think the movie could basically have

[19:11] started here. Sentinels are going to

[19:12] attack Zion. Let's go to the Oracle.

[19:14] Awesome ideas about the Matrix and Rogue

[19:16] programs. Boom. This is the scene that

[19:18] finally sets the movie into motion.

[19:20] >> Because you're the one.

[19:21] >> That's not what you said last time.

[19:22] >> Seems like every time we meet, I got

[19:25] nothing but bad news.

[19:27] >> No, you got nothing but riddles and

[19:28] instructions, lady. You have never had

[19:30] anything resembling news. Hey, can I go

[19:32] back with you guys? Can you send me to a

[19:34] place where I can get out of here? No.

[19:36] Okay, I'll fight 100 Agent Smiths then.

[19:38] Oh well. So, this fight goes on for 6

[19:40] minutes. Agent Smith was a formidable

[19:42] adversary in the first movie, but

[19:43] hundreds of Agent Smiths are no match

[19:45] for Neo in this one. Feel free to use

[19:47] the restroom at this point. This fight

[19:48] has a lot of sound and fury, signifying

[19:50] nothing. Wait, this is a place where any

[19:51] [ __ ] can walk by and see this? If so,

[19:54] why is this the first person stumbling

[19:55] on this fight? Neo gets punched in the

[19:57] face a zillion times, but his glasses

[19:58] keep on ticking. This reminds me, why

[20:00] doesn't Neo just go ahead and fly the

[20:01] hell out of here? Rubber Neo number two.

[20:03] Also, this is a classic example of a

[20:04] scene that looked fantastic on the big

[20:05] screen opening weekend, but then can

[20:07] never really be viewed at home again

[20:09] without the experience being soiled by

[20:10] how obvious the CGI becomes. Finally,

[20:12] the 100 Aiden Smiths get smart and pile

[20:14] on Neo instead of doing the one by one

[20:16] silliness that all bad guys do in fights

[20:17] like this. But even that proves totally

[20:19] pointless. Neo could crush Superman with

[20:21] his penis if he wanted to. Haha, they

[20:23] can't fly. But why? I mean, he can in

[20:26] the next movie. He's not a human being.

[20:27] He's a computer program, but he still

[20:29] somehow has to earn or learn the ability

[20:31] to fly. And now there's more than one of

[20:32] them.

[20:33] >> How is that possible?

[20:34] >> I don't know.

[20:34] >> No worries. I'm sure they're just

[20:35] waiting to explain that in the third

[20:36] movie. Right.

[20:38] >> Right.

[20:39] >> Comprehension is not a requisite of

[20:41] cooperation.

[20:42] >> This [ __ ] sounds just like a

[20:43] machine. Let's get him. Also, harmonica

[20:46] Nicholas.

[20:46] >> Because some things never change, Jason,

[20:48] [music] but some things do.

[20:49] >> Why don't any of these citizens turn

[20:51] into an agent when they see Neo and

[20:52] Morpheus? Morpheus is addicted to people

[20:54] who don't want to use the stairs. Why

[20:55] don't any of the citizens eating at the

[20:57] Marovvenians restaurant turn into agents

[20:58] when they see Neo and Morpheus in there?

[21:00] >> Action.

[21:01] reaction, cause and effect.

[21:04] >> Since when did programs get so damn

[21:06] wordy and preachy? Every character Neo

[21:08] runs into in this movie has a master's

[21:09] degree in philosophy. Truth

[21:11] >> is we are completely

[21:16] >> cake orgasm.

[21:17] >> I am so sick and tired of his [ __ ]

[21:19] on and on. Pumpus prick.

[21:22] >> Man, lots of people in this movie keep

[21:23] saying what the audience is thinking.

[21:25] >> Kiss.

[21:25] >> I'm going to help you, but only if you

[21:26] kiss me, cliche. What? That's not a

[21:29] cliche. That's just completely stupid.

[21:32] Okay, well, no cliche, but still plenty

[21:34] of sin for this [ __ ] Come on. I

[21:36] mean, this is Monica Baluchcci, man.

[21:37] Make that [ __ ] count. Kissing her like

[21:39] you do Trinity would not be hard. You

[21:41] know, I'm serious about this because I'm

[21:43] taking off my sunglasses. This kitchen

[21:44] doesn't have the end fight scene from

[21:46] the raid too happening in it right now.

[21:47] >> They do dirty work.

[21:49] >> Why the long introduction when you're

[21:50] just going to kill them?

[21:51] >> How many people keep silver bullets in

[21:53] their gun?

[21:53] >> Wait, these guys are werewolves? The

[21:55] Oracle said stuff like that was

[21:56] possible. Now the movie's forcing me to

[21:58] debate whether it's better that we never

[21:59] see the werewolves or just be happy that

[22:01] I got the reference. I'm torn.

[22:03] >> You can either run to the restaurant and

[22:05] tell my husband what [music] I have done

[22:06] or you can stay there and die.

[22:08] >> Praphanie lets one henchman live to tell

[22:09] the husband because promise to help

[22:11] implies simultaneous promise to harm.

[22:13] Apparently

[22:16] >> that's racist. Nobody here has any

[22:18] powers that can make this fight

[22:19] interesting either. We interrupt this

[22:20] Matrix sequel to bring you the force.

[22:22] Also, why doesn't he do that kind of

[22:23] more often? Also, why is he even using

[22:25] weapons anymore after realizing he can

[22:27] do like that? So, this is still going.

[22:29] You know, fights aren't good because

[22:30] they're longer. They're only good when

[22:32] you feel like the hero could be in

[22:33] danger. Okay, so I understand that the

[22:34] keys change the rooms that you go into,

[22:36] but how do you change a room from the

[22:38] outside and not be in that same room

[22:40] yourself? See, here are guys who should

[22:41] be fighting Neo. These dudes have

[22:43] amazing powers and would present a

[22:44] challenge. But they're the only

[22:46] characters in this whole movie who do

[22:47] anything cool. Hm. We have the ability

[22:49] to become Vapor. How do we ever get into

[22:50] this car? Is the knife part of this

[22:52] twin's program where it turns to vapor

[22:54] when he turns to vapor? If not, why

[22:56] doesn't he just turn other things into

[22:57] vapor by touching them? That could come

[22:59] in handy. You know what? This movie

[23:00] needs some good slow motion about now

[23:02] for no reason. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

[23:04] Bullet holes appear and disappear all

[23:06] over this scene, but we aren't really

[23:08] into nitpicking little details like

[23:09] that. Are these people somehow oblivious

[23:11] to the war zone that has been coming up

[23:12] on their ass for 5 minutes? Oakland,

[23:15] man. Also, empty highway behind Chase is

[23:17] super empty.

[23:18] >> Shots fired. Where the [ __ ] has this

[23:20] radio guy been this whole time? He's

[23:22] just now calling in. Shots fired. Dude,

[23:24] you are fired. Now that he's out of

[23:26] bullets, now's the time to vaporize over

[23:28] to the other car. Where did all thising

[23:29] traffic behind them come from? Wait, so

[23:31] while the agent does this, what is the

[23:33] twin doing? He has an absolutely huge

[23:35] opening to kill Morpheus and Trinity and

[23:36] make off with the key maker. This van is

[23:39] honking, I guess, for the incredible

[23:40] scene of watching a guy turn into vapor

[23:42] and land in the middle of the freeway

[23:43] unharmed. I mean, are the people who

[23:45] live inside the Matrix muggles or

[23:46] something? They don't see magic right in

[23:48] front of them. This computer programmed

[23:49] cop has terrible aim. Conveniently timed

[23:51] truck with convenient motorcycles is

[23:53] convenient. These two make this jump,

[23:54] but only through the power of editing.

[23:56] How the hell are agents coming from all

[23:58] over, leaping into all these [ __ ]

[23:59] drivers, and smashing the hell out of

[24:00] her in the keymaker? I guess this is the

[24:02] only person on the entire freeway who

[24:04] noticed the motorcycle. What? How did

[24:06] these cops know to drive down the exit

[24:07] ramp? And how could they be sure it was

[24:09] a completely empty exit ramp that they

[24:10] could enter the freeway with? Cool shot,

[24:12] but as we've seen, people getting

[24:13] possessed by agents go through all these

[24:14] convulsions before changing. The

[24:16] placement of the sword on the side of

[24:17] the truck jumps several feet between him

[24:19] stabbing it and him needing to stand on

[24:20] it. The next action I take will require

[24:22] the removal of my sunglasses. Oh, look.

[24:24] The sword jumped back up to the top of

[24:25] the truck just in time for him to grab

[24:26] it in his hour of need.

[24:28] >> Gotcha.

[24:28] >> What? Then you're meant for one more

[24:30] thing. Deletion.

[24:31] >> Okay, so do it already. Why has the

[24:33] agent not already killed the key maker

[24:35] five times by now?

[24:36] >> Neo, if you're out there, I could use

[24:38] some help.

[24:39] >> Morpheus says a prayer to Neo and it's

[24:40] answered. Of course, Neo saves the day.

[24:42] No one in this scene enters it at any

[24:44] time other than the exact perfect

[24:45] second. We interrupt this Matrix sequel

[24:47] to bring you a teaser trailer for the

[24:48] next one.

[24:48] >> There is a building. Inside this

[24:51] building, there is a level [music] where

[24:52] no elevator can go.

[24:54] >> Welcome to the most confusing scene in

[24:56] movie history. Up is down, left is

[24:57] right, and everything is happening all

[24:59] at once and not at all. While also being

[25:01] discussed and explained in what appears

[25:02] to be the same room where Neo first met

[25:03] Morpheus, which would be a stupid place

[25:05] for them to go, but like I said, there's

[25:07] so much wrong and weird with this entire

[25:08] scene. I'm just going to roll the dinger

[25:10] for a couple seconds.

[25:12] Did he say Paul?

[25:13] >> You know, pound-for-pound, Roy Jones is

[25:14] the worst actor they could have gotten

[25:15] to say this terrible line.

[25:17] >> But like all systems, it has a weakness.

[25:19] >> Of course it does. Sure, as Morpheus

[25:21] said, there are no accidents. Just

[25:22] really convoluted ways to get Trinity

[25:24] into the Matrix when Neo doesn't want

[25:25] her in there.

[25:26] >> In 5 minutes, [music] I'll tear that

[25:27] whole goddamn building down.

[25:28] >> Yeah, we saw the dream at the beginning

[25:29] of the movie. Too bad there's no

[25:31] suspense now. Well, this timing is

[25:33] perfect, actually. Do you mind fighting

[25:35] with us for a little bit? Just for a few

[25:36] moments while our friends fix the power

[25:38] station crisis that we don't even know

[25:39] about so that we don't die when we open

[25:41] the door. Awesome.

[25:42] >> Hold it right there. Little lady guard

[25:44] sees badass chicken leather walk into a

[25:45] restricted area and thinks of the words

[25:47] little lady. The Mr. Smiths behind Neo

[25:49] are just [ __ ] worthless. They let Neo

[25:51] do whatever he needs to do before

[25:52] attacking him again. Also, some of these

[25:54] Mr. Smiths are obviously not Hugo

[25:55] Weaving. Mr. Smith goes to Bowlington.

[25:58] You'll know which door are in you.

[26:00] >> Man, this dude was riddled with bullets,

[26:02] but thankfully he had exactly enough

[26:03] breath to give Neo the instructions.

[26:05] You'll know which door.

[26:06] >> Yep, it's so obvious.

[26:08] >> I am the architect.

[26:10] >> Remember that earlier scene that I said

[26:12] was the most confusing one in movie

[26:13] history? Yeah, about that. See, I hadn't

[26:16] actually watched any further than that

[26:17] point in the movie when I said that.

[26:18] >> Here goes some of my answers. You will

[26:20] understand, and some of them you will

[26:22] not.

[26:22] >> It's a convenient thing to say when the

[26:23] audience decides they have no clue what

[26:25] the is going on.

[26:26] >> You say white prick.

[26:27] >> Did he say you old white prick? Cuz

[26:29] that's racist. So Link told her the bad

[26:31] guys were headed her way and to get the

[26:33] hell out of there. and she goes and

[26:34] waits for the elevator.

[26:35] >> Thus, I redesigned it.

[26:36] >> You can tell this is a movie from 2003

[26:38] when George W. Bush gets equated to

[26:39] Hitler.

[26:40] >> There are two doors. The door to your

[26:41] right leads to the source and the

[26:43] salvation of Zion. The door to your left

[26:45] leads back to the Matrix to her and to

[26:47] the end of your species.

[26:49] >> So, basically no different from the

[26:50] choice Batman has to make in Batman and

[26:51] Robin, previously on the Matrix

[26:53] Reloaded.

[26:53] >> What was that? It's moving faster than

[26:55] anything I've ever seen.

[26:56] >> First off, you know with your whole

[26:57] heart what that is. Second off, it can't

[26:59] be much faster than when Neo came out of

[27:01] the mountains to save Morpheus and the

[27:02] Keymaker from that truck crash at the

[27:03] last minute. This is [ __ ] awesome. A

[27:05] dozen years before Man of Steel, this

[27:07] movie stole Superman's Thunder just a

[27:09] little bit. And by the same studio, too.

[27:11] Holy [ __ ] he caught it.

[27:12] >> I know. Amazing. You saw this before,

[27:14] remember? Also, at the speed Neo was

[27:16] flying. Wouldn't this basically have

[27:17] been like a 747 crashing into Trinity?

[27:19] We'll explain his hand somehow reaching

[27:21] into her with the use of green digital

[27:22] characters. Also, I don't know whether

[27:24] I'm supposed to think this is amazing or

[27:26] be turned on. Why didn't he just pull

[27:27] the bullet out with the force? Neo has

[27:29] been powered up from Superman Jesus to

[27:30] God Almighty.

[27:33] >> I can't take this.

[27:34] >> I really relate to this guy. This guy is

[27:36] the audience. Only my amazement is more

[27:38] anger based than his.

[27:40] >> Guess this makes us even.

[27:41] >> Yeah, you saved me with a miracle kiss

[27:42] that shouldn't have worked. I reached

[27:44] inside your body and took a bullet out

[27:45] and restarted your heart. But yeah,

[27:47] we're even. Women, that's impossible.

[27:50] Someone in a sci-fi movie declares

[27:51] something impossible cliche.

[27:52] >> I have dreamed a dream. We interrupt

[27:54] this second Matrix movie to bring you

[27:55] lay miser rob movie has the balls to

[27:57] come up with a fantastic cliffhanger

[27:58] ending after 2 hours of relative

[28:00] boredom. It's the hammer. The hammer is

[28:02] my penis. Also, weren't there way more

[28:03] than just three of those sentinels back

[28:04] when they threw the bomb? Aren't the

[28:06] rest of them right behind those first

[28:07] three and killing all these fools right

[28:08] about now? Here's a cliffhanger ending

[28:10] for your ass. By the way, I had already

[28:12] sort of forgotten about Mr. Smith Bane

[28:14] and what he looked like. So, seeing him

[28:16] upside down does me no favors. First

[28:17] time I saw this, I was like, "Who the

[28:19] [ __ ] is that? Evil Neo?" Come back in 6

[28:21] months. We guarantee you'll be less

[28:22] pissed off about this movie. Then

[28:30] for dramatic purposes, patients in this

[28:32] ship's infirmary are placed headto-head,

[28:34] giving us the yin-yang Neo Smith shot we

[28:36] didn't know we wanted.

[28:36] >> I bring word from the Oracle. You must

[28:38] come at once.

[28:39] >> I won't tell you where, though, even

[28:40] though that's crucial information. We

[28:42] assume you can figure it out for

[28:43] yourself. Only this girl and her parents

[28:45] at the terminal, yet they ignore her

[28:46] enough so that she can just start

[28:47] chatting up Neo and stuff.

[28:48] >> This isn't the Matrix. That's where the

[28:50] train goes.

[28:51] >> Thankfully, she's full of exposition.

[28:52] Oh, look. They knew where to meet Sarif

[28:54] without him saying anything about

[28:55] location. Wowee. One sin for regular old

[28:58] mortality for causing this franchise to

[29:00] have to recast a role that was already

[29:01] perfectly cast.

[29:02] >> Do you know what happened to Neo?

[29:04] >> Yes, he is trapped in a place between

[29:07] this world and the machine world.

[29:09] >> This train man is cool and all, but the

[29:11] movie never even once tries to explain

[29:12] how Neo controlling the Sentinels in the

[29:14] real world caused him to end up in this

[29:15] train limbo.

[29:16] >> He has placed a bounty on your lives.

[29:18] You must be careful at all times

[29:20] >> because prior to this moment, you did

[29:22] not need to be careful.

[29:23] >> Sati, come here, darling. Leave the poor

[29:26] man in peace.

[29:26] >> You've coughed up enough exposition on

[29:28] him for one day.

[29:29] >> I am sorry. She is still very curious.

[29:31] >> If you were really sorry, you'd have

[29:32] stopped her from bothering Neo long

[29:33] before this. Also, he's a goddamn

[29:35] program. How did computer programs get

[29:37] so emotional and irrational?

[29:38] >> I just have never heard a program speak

[29:41] of love. It is a human emotion.

[29:44] >> No, it is a word. What matters is the

[29:47] connection the word implies.

[29:48] >> Clever dialogue, but you're still

[29:50] suggesting machines have emotions, which

[29:51] is not only weird, but goes against what

[29:53] this series of films has spent a lot of

[29:54] time trying to prove.

[29:55] >> I see that you are in love.

[29:57] >> Computer program in another region place

[29:58] can see Neo's love for Trinity just by

[30:00] looking at him. This motherucker is not

[30:02] running fast enough to outrun the

[30:03] Oracle, let alone Sarah, Trinity, and

[30:05] Morpheus. Also, in the last cut of the

[30:06] turn styles, this dude was nowhere near

[30:08] this far ahead of them.

[30:13] Damn it. guy who runs super slow only

[30:15] needs a threec car subway going by to

[30:16] disappear like vapor. Also, even if that

[30:18] head start is somehow a good one, which

[30:19] it isn't, these [ __ ] still just give

[30:21] up.

[30:22] >> Why?

[30:22] >> That is a karma.

[30:23] >> You believe in karma.

[30:24] >> Dialogue like this really, when you boil

[30:26] it all down is why both Matrix sequels

[30:28] end up being more boring than

[30:29] entertaining. It's

[30:29] >> over my big dead ass.

[30:33] >> So be it.

[30:34] >> Classic case of a bad guy waiting too

[30:35] damn long to just do what he was

[30:36] threatening to do. Even with the element

[30:38] of surprise, Sarif and Gang only managed

[30:40] to kill one of the five gun check dudes

[30:41] on the first spray. But whatever. Slow

[30:43] motion guns and rape music. Party time,

[30:45] am I right? Just a reminder, no one in

[30:47] the actual club, which has the coat and

[30:48] gun check just outside, can hear this. I

[30:51] know clubs be loud, but damn. Jesus,

[30:53] this room is a coat and gun check room.

[30:55] It is only this large with huge concrete

[30:57] columns everywhere so that this action

[30:59] sequence can take place. Discount rave

[31:00] scene from either of the two previous

[31:02] matrixes. Or is it matrices? Oh, who

[31:05] cares? I get why they're all three

[31:06] backtoback going through the dance

[31:08] floor, but why do they have to be

[31:09] constantly spinning? Wouldn't staying in

[31:11] relative stationary direction give each

[31:13] of the three a better longer look at the

[31:14] surroundings near them as opposed to

[31:16] constantly spinning and scanning.

[31:17] >> Hey

[31:20] DJ wearing headphones and a loud ass

[31:21] club that couldn't hear gunfire in the

[31:23] next room somehow hears the maravvenian

[31:24] yelling at him. Also gas attack victim

[31:26] DJ also DJs. Does every person at this

[31:29] bondage nightclub know and respect the

[31:31] meravenian enough to be basically

[31:32] soldiers for him? I mean not one of them

[31:34] is going to complain about why the music

[31:35] stopped. Are none of these club goers

[31:37] drinking and or drunk? I couldn't even

[31:39] tell you the owner of my favorite

[31:40] nightclub if he walked up to me in a

[31:41] spandex bodysuit and pinched my ass. Or

[31:44] is this just the mayor of Indian's work

[31:45] headquarters and all these people are

[31:47] henchmen and the dancing is just a

[31:48] byproduct of having so many latex laden

[31:50] hotties all together in one room.

[31:52] >> I am curious though as to how it

[31:56] actually happened.

[31:57] >> Yeah, you and me both, buddy.

[31:58] Unfortunately, the movie ain't got no

[32:00] clue itself how that happened, so you'll

[32:02] just have to get over it and move on.

[32:03] Trinity starts kicking ass and none of

[32:04] the gun toing henchmen do anything

[32:06] allowing Morpheus and Serif to also

[32:08] start kicking ass without any good guys

[32:09] getting shot despite all logic and

[32:11] reason. This chick down here does not

[32:12] shoot Trinity the entire time she

[32:14] watches and catches the gun. I can't

[32:16] help but wonder how many other gun toing

[32:17] [ __ ] are just offcreen also not

[32:19] shooting Trinity.

[32:24] Latex Bondage Club Mexican standoff.

[32:26] >> She'll do it if she has to. She'll kill

[32:29] every one of us. She's in love. Thank

[32:32] god the third movie finally paid off

[32:34] that completely weird and emotionless

[32:35] true love's kiss in the bathroom scene

[32:37] from the last movie.

[32:38] >> I can't leave yet. I have to see her

[32:40] >> now.

[32:40] >> No, at some later point in time. What

[32:42] the hell, Trinity? You get to see the

[32:44] oracle, but your boyfriend, who is the

[32:46] one can't?

[32:47] >> I was hoping to have these done before

[32:49] you got here.

[32:50] >> Well, you are the oracle, right?

[32:51] Couldn't you have just started making

[32:52] the dough a few minutes earlier since

[32:54] you knew when he was coming?

[32:55] >> I think it's time for a tasting. Take

[32:58] the bowl to Sarah and find out if

[32:59] they're ready. Salmonella. If you

[33:01] rearrange the letters on the fridge, it

[33:02] spells, "You wasted a bunch of time

[33:04] looking at fridge letters for humorous

[33:05] anagrams and came up empty."

[33:07] >> And you are all that stands in his way.

[33:10] >> Smith.

[33:11] >> Man, the oracle is the [ __ ] master of

[33:13] the pronoun game. She wrote the book on

[33:15] that [ __ ]

[33:15] >> What is he?

[33:16] >> He is you, your opposite, your negative.

[33:20] The result of the equation trying to

[33:22] balance itself out.

[33:23] >> Okay, fair enough. But Neo is the sixth

[33:25] one. And we already saw Smith himself

[33:27] say in the last movie that his newfound

[33:28] power was a new development in the

[33:30] repeating Matrix cycle. And he said that

[33:32] way before Neo broke the cycle by saving

[33:34] Trinity instead of Zion. So what I'm

[33:36] saying is you're full of lady.

[33:38] >> I need time.

[33:38] >> Okay, this is one of the movies biggest

[33:40] problems to serve the story and the eb

[33:41] and flow of the action in the film. Neo

[33:43] spends a super long time just thinking

[33:45] about what he should do. Even though the

[33:46] oracle just told him in the last scene,

[33:48] he already knew what he needed to do. If

[33:49] we weren't trying to line up parallel

[33:50] crescendos, then Neo would immediately

[33:52] head for the machine city right now and

[33:54] end the war before Zion gets attacked.

[33:56] Agent Smith somehow controls this

[33:57] building's power. Okay, fine. But why is

[34:00] he shutting off the lights one at a time

[34:01] for drama?

[34:04] >> Agent Smith is addicted to cookies.

[34:05] >> What did you do with Sy?

[34:07] >> Cookies need love like everything does.

[34:11] >> You are a bastard.

[34:12] >> Well, you're the one that had Sati alone

[34:14] with you in an abandoned building when

[34:16] you knew Smith was coming. So, here's

[34:17] Neo still seeing visions of the place he

[34:19] already knows he needs to go. Still not

[34:22] going.

[34:22] >> These squids are sneaky bastards. Could

[34:25] be a trap.

[34:25] >> But wouldn't you have picked them up on

[34:27] your scanners? Haven't we seen multiple

[34:28] times already that you can do that?

[34:30] Also, discount inside the space monsters

[34:32] throat scene from Empire Strikes Back.

[34:33] >> What did you tell you?

[34:34] >> The same thing she always does. Exactly

[34:36] what I needed to hear.

[34:37] >> Oh, that's useful. Thanks. Overhead shot

[34:40] of supposedly smallass Zion suggests

[34:42] there are millions more inhabitants than

[34:44] originally believed. Movie repeats

[34:45] Matrix Reloaded's mistake of thinking we

[34:47] give a [ __ ] about these two.

[34:54] >> What the [ __ ] is going on over here?

[34:56] >> What the podorn pencil neck like you

[34:59] doing volunteering for my call?

[35:00] >> That's racist. And do the Zionborn

[35:02] people harbor some kind of

[35:04] discrimination or ill will against

[35:05] people born in the pod farm? If so, why

[35:07] isn't that flushed out a little bit

[35:08] more? I can even see it. The sneeches in

[35:10] Zion, those are the ones with plugs on

[35:12] their mugs. Movie repeats Matrix Reload.

[35:14] mistake of thinking we give a [ __ ] about

[35:16] >> Give me a chance, sir. I won't let you

[35:17] down

[35:18] >> again. I mean,

[35:19] >> I'm sorry that I took so long.

[35:21] >> So are we.

[35:21] >> If we leave inside the hour, [music] we

[35:22] should reach Zion as the machines do.

[35:24] >> Imagine when you could have arrived if

[35:26] Neo hadn't taken his sweet ass time on

[35:27] this decision.

[35:28] >> What if I blew that EMP?

[35:30] >> This guy has been playing his part

[35:31] correct the entire time for days. But

[35:33] now he decides to monologue and

[35:35] basically warn this chick about his

[35:36] evilness before killing her. How did

[35:37] Trinity and Neo actually lose chemistry

[35:39] as a couple as these movies go along?

[35:41] How is that possible? It's not like they

[35:43] had a ton to begin with. Did Lucas guest

[35:45] direct these scenes?

[35:46] >> I ain't saying goodbye.

[35:47] >> I'm not saying goodbye. Cliche. She

[35:49] survives this.

[35:50] >> Mr. Anderson.

[35:51] >> This phrase alone does not immediately

[35:53] cause Agent Smith light bulbs for Neo

[35:55] and Trinity. And that's some [ __ ]

[35:56] Now, I know this is Agent Smith we're

[35:58] talking about here. And his ego is

[35:59] nearly as big as Shawn Penn, but still

[36:01] sinning for the bad guy wasting time and

[36:02] not killing him already. Thankfully, the

[36:04] shards from that light she smashed on

[36:06] Bane's head a few minutes ago are handy

[36:07] to help her cut her binds. I realize

[36:09] she's probably limited in what she can

[36:10] do to help. But doesn't turning on the

[36:11] lights limit your boyfriend as much as

[36:13] it does the enemy.

[36:14] >> Blind Messiah.

[36:15] >> Messiah. Man, trilogy that doesn't want

[36:18] you to miss the Jesus parallels really

[36:19] doesn't want you to miss the Jesus

[36:20] parallels. Even now that he's blinded

[36:22] Neo, Smith still feels the need to mess

[36:24] with him instead of just punching him in

[36:25] the ear and then killing him with a gun.

[36:27] I can see you.

[36:28] >> Movie also never explains how Neo was

[36:30] the first and only of all the ones that

[36:32] could see and control machines outside

[36:33] the actual Matrix, but whatever. Cool

[36:36] shot, I guess.

[36:36] >> Sorry, but I think you're going to have

[36:38] to drive. Why can't he drive the ship

[36:40] when he can sense and feel everything

[36:42] now? Just what inarnation are these

[36:43] screens behind lock supposed to be

[36:44] showing? And how is this information in

[36:46] this graphical display any kind of

[36:48] useful? Movie rips off the robot mech

[36:49] suits from the Matrix Reloaded.

[36:53] >> All right,

[36:54] this is it.

[36:55] >> Movie shows us a vast shot of APUs, then

[36:57] shows us their commander giving the

[36:59] pre-war speech in a speaking voice the

[37:00] third row is probably struggling to

[37:02] hear.

[37:02] >> If it's our time to die, it's our time.

[37:05] >> Well, that's inspiring.

[37:07] Robot roll call. Holy Christ, would you

[37:09] look at that?

[37:10] >> So, you can scan for Sentinels. What was

[37:12] that worry again earlier when you

[37:13] thought they might be ambushing you?

[37:14] They're inching along trying to sneak up

[37:16] on millions of Sentinels, but everyone

[37:18] is in the cockpit. Probably so that they

[37:20] have to scramble and waste time manning

[37:21] the guns when they made a stupid noise

[37:23] to alert the Sentinels to their

[37:24] presence.

[37:26] I knew it.

[37:26] >> Systems the gun to.

[37:28] >> Yeah, late much. Blatant Star Wars

[37:30] homage is Star Wars. The proper piloting

[37:32] of this hovercraft will require the

[37:34] removal of my sweater. This dome

[37:35] concrete ceiling is capable of being

[37:36] pierced without the whole thing raining

[37:38] down on [ __ ] And we've known for

[37:39] ages what direction these [ __ ] were

[37:41] coming from. But sure, yeah, let's wait

[37:43] until the last second to train our guns

[37:44] on the spot.

[37:45] >> Knuckle up. [screaming]

[37:46] >> Knuckle up. Machine drillers are

[37:48] basically self-reviving transformers.

[37:49] Machines wait forever to send the full

[37:51] strength of Sentinel forces. Then the

[37:52] Sentinels join five streams into one for

[37:54] the main assault, making themselves much

[37:56] easier to target for the few guns that

[37:57] exist in this dock. The Sentinels are

[37:59] terrible at finding humans until the

[38:00] humans shoot rockets at them. How is a

[38:02] giant ass hover ship faster than these

[38:04] [ __ ] The Sentinels blow off a

[38:05] hover pad in two seconds flat, but how

[38:07] much you want to bet it takes them

[38:08] forever to get the rest of them off? We

[38:09] can hack into the matrix and put humans

[38:11] inside a computer program wearing and

[38:12] carrying anything we want. But when it

[38:14] comes to targeting computers, just

[38:16] triangles, dog, that's all we can offer.

[38:18] Sorry, yo. Damn, these hovercraft are

[38:19] built like tanks.

[38:20] >> Cap. You see that?

[38:21] >> That's the radio. Stop him.

[38:23] >> You haven't even tried to use the radio

[38:24] to call Zion once. Why protect what

[38:26] you're not using? Also, call Zion on the

[38:28] radio before the radio gets destroyed.

[38:30] God damn it. The Sentinels are terrible

[38:32] at finding humans until the humans shoot

[38:33] rockets at them. Either these Sentinel

[38:35] arms have the aim of Stormtroopers, or

[38:36] else these girls are luckier than Andrew

[38:38] Luck on a luck dragon.

[38:39] >> No one can pilot mechanical.

[38:40] >> I bet there's at least one person who

[38:42] can. And I bet the movie tells us how

[38:43] awesome a pilot that person is about 153

[38:45] times. We blow an EMP inside there,

[38:47] we'll lose the dock, sir, we already

[38:49] lost the dock. Open the gate.

[38:51] >> How in the [ __ ] are you giving to

[38:53] Morpheus later about blowing the EMP

[38:55] when you went out of your way to help

[38:56] him do it? Before they finalized

[38:58] character names for the script, this

[38:59] dude's name read as 100% dick guy number

[39:01] one.

[39:02] >> HE'S NOT RESPONDING. Taking critical

[39:04] damage, sir. You lost control.

[39:06] >> Relatively random carnage has ironic

[39:07] timing.

[39:08] >> Oh dear, woman, you can drive.

[39:10] >> We ain't home yet.

[39:11] >> How did you hear that? You don't have a

[39:13] headset on anymore. Are all his comments

[39:15] just broadcast shipwide? This guy

[39:17] wouldn't be alive anymore if entire

[39:18] swarms of Sentinels weren't constantly

[39:19] passing him by. There are clearly more

[39:21] than enough Sentinels here to keep this

[39:22] guy from making an ammo run, let alone

[39:24] eventually saving the day. And while

[39:26] we're at it, how come the super strong

[39:27] exo suit things can only carry two boxes

[39:29] of ammo at a time? That's a design flaw

[39:31] if I've ever seen one. Cool shot, I

[39:33] guess. But what the hell are these

[39:34] Sentinels doing? Showing off? Is it like

[39:36] a machine version of Ribbon Ballet

[39:38] Gymnastics or something?

[39:39] >> HEADS UP. THEY'RE COMING DOWN.

[39:40] >> SO WHAT? THEY DON'T do anything to you

[39:42] when they fly past you anyway. What's

[39:43] the worry? None of the 10,000 sentinels

[39:45] swarming and eating and killing Muffi

[39:47] noticed the delicious teenage human

[39:48] dangling off the back. Maybe they read

[39:50] the script.

[39:51] >> Hurry, there's no timing.

[39:53] >> I didn't finish the training program.

[39:54] Movie repeats Matrix Reload its mistake

[39:56] of thinking neither did I. [sighs]

[39:59] >> But you did finish the dying with one

[40:01] eye open program.

[40:02] >> Get to the main deck. Charge the EMP.

[40:04] >> Yeah, cuz that's not something you could

[40:05] have done earlier or anything.

[40:07] >> You I believe

[40:09] >> you believe what? That there is no

[40:11] spoon? That shooting this thing will

[40:12] open the door? That Neo is the one? You

[40:14] already believe that, didn't you? Why

[40:16] are you wasting time to say this thing?

[40:17] Also, I guarantee Neo does not give a

[40:19] [ __ ] about whether or not you believe.

[40:21] You know, even if they survive this

[40:22] machine attack, everyone in Zion is

[40:24] going to die of smoke inhilation anyway.

[40:25] You're miles underground after an EMP.

[40:27] Where's all this light coming from right

[40:29] now?

[40:29] >> You're a hell of a pilot.

[40:30] >> After telling us for two movies that

[40:32] Naobbi is a hell of a pilot, and then

[40:33] actually showing us Naobbi in the act of

[40:35] being a hell of a pilot, Repetitive

[40:36] Movie feels compelled yet again to tell

[40:38] you she's a hell of a pilot.

[40:41] Thank god this dock is on fire right

[40:43] now. Am I right? Or else none of us

[40:45] would be able to see you in order to

[40:46] cheer you.

[40:47] >> Did I miss something, Commander? I

[40:48] thought we just saved the dock. What's

[40:50] the problem with you people? You can't

[40:52] think but 5 minutes in front of your

[40:53] face.

[40:54] >> You were the one who ordered the dock

[40:55] door open so they could do the thing

[40:57] they did that you're now being a dick

[40:58] about. Dick.

[40:59] >> That EMP knocked out almost every piece

[41:01] of hardware in every APU.

[41:03] >> Why only almost every piece of hardware?

[41:05] It knocked out every Sentinel. Even the

[41:07] ones outside the dock already escaping.

[41:09] But the good guys still have some

[41:10] equipment left that works.

[41:11] >> Save the dock, Captain. Just handed it

[41:14] to him on a silver platter.

[41:15] >> Well, you did. But whatever. Semantics,

[41:18] I suppose. I guess we're using those

[41:19] minimally lasting damage EMPs where

[41:22] everything can be restarted instantly

[41:23] except the dead sentinels, of course,

[41:25] >> because he's the one who believes in

[41:27] miracles. [snorts]

[41:27] >> Meanwhile, back at the three electrical

[41:29] conduits. Also, why did the machines

[41:31] build the fields of humans so far away

[41:32] from the machine city? Was it just for

[41:34] dramatic timing purposes?

[41:36] [music]

[41:38] >> Gotcha.

[41:39] >> Wait, what? Did the Sentinel ghost come

[41:42] through the ship, but not its physical

[41:43] body? Are they currently fighting

[41:44] against both physical and ghost

[41:46] sentinels? Go up over them. What? The

[41:49] >> sky is the only way.

[41:51] >> But we're in a hovercraft, Neo. There's

[41:53] a limit to how far we can hover from

[41:55] things like Earth.

[41:56] >> You made it.

[41:57] >> Premature self. Congratulations.

[41:58] >> I wished I had one more chance to say

[42:01] what really mattered.

[42:02] >> Which I will do here in a moment,

[42:03] provided I don't run out of breath and

[42:04] die during this setup.

[42:05] >> But you brought me back. You gave me my

[42:08] wish. One more chance to say what I

[42:11] really wanted to say.

[42:12] >> Just say it already. Gasp crying. Oh,

[42:15] sure. It takes him 6 hours to think

[42:17] about whether or not he's sure about his

[42:18] mission. But morning Trinity, that over

[42:20] in seconds. The blind Neo can see light

[42:22] thing is cool for sure, but this makes

[42:24] it look like he's got no idea if he's

[42:26] stepping on solid surfaces or about to

[42:27] plunge to his death. Literal deos

[42:30] xmacha. Also, were the machines like

[42:32] we'd better at least appear human when

[42:33] we negotiate with this human cuz that

[42:35] way he won't realize we're machines.

[42:36] These sentinels land and then instead of

[42:38] attacking, they just stalk forward. Then

[42:40] the humans respond by not attacking.

[42:42] This is a weirdass battle. And if you

[42:44] fail, I'm wrong.

[42:46] >> The machines just accept this. Thunder

[42:49] and lightning indicate the Matrix had

[42:50] gone to [ __ ] How do all the identical

[42:52] Agent Smiths know which one of them is

[42:53] the true original one that gets to fight

[42:55] Neo? And while we're on that subject,

[42:56] what was the point in making all the

[42:58] Agent Smith clones if you were still

[42:59] going to fight Neo with just one of

[43:00] them? I realize Smith winning is exactly

[43:02] how Neo wins. But Smith doesn't know

[43:04] that. He should be attacking Neo with

[43:05] all the Smiths.

[43:06] >> It ends tonight.

[43:07] >> I know it does. I've seen it.

[43:11] That's why the rest of me is just going

[43:13] to enjoy the show.

[43:15] >> A couple problems here. First off, how

[43:16] is Smith getting visions now? Didn't

[43:18] Neil get visions previously, too, in

[43:20] this very movie? I know they're yin and

[43:22] yang and all that, but why would Smith

[43:23] gain visions and Neo lose them? Why

[43:25] didn't Neo have any visions of this

[43:26] event? Second, are you actually telling

[43:28] me cockiness is the reason Smith chooses

[43:30] to fight Neo as one man instead of an

[43:32] army of millions? Cuz I'm pretty sure

[43:33] the real reason is special effects cost

[43:35] kung fu flex of defiance. This is the

[43:37] second huge exploding slow motion ball

[43:39] of water shot in the last 3 minutes.

[43:41] It's a cool effect and all, but the

[43:42] movie will show us Neo's revelation

[43:43] about how he needs to die to kill Smith

[43:45] here in a few moments. So, my question

[43:46] is, what's his plan right now? Bite to

[43:48] the death with each of the millions of

[43:49] Agent Smiths one at a time. Damn, this

[43:51] movie is more in love with its slow

[43:52] motion exploding water effects than it

[43:54] is with the story or any of its

[43:55] characters.

[43:57] Superman is addict metropol. Oh, wait.

[43:59] Yeah, no need to fly to the location of

[44:01] impact. Walking dramatically will

[44:02] suffice. Also, production saved a ton of

[44:04] money on rain machine rental and green

[44:06] camera filters by shooting on the road

[44:07] to predition set.

[44:08] >> You believe you're fighting for

[44:10] something for more than your survival?

[44:13] Can you tell me what it is? Do you even

[44:16] know?

[44:16] >> Yeah. Um, he's fighting to end the

[44:18] machine war with humans. He's actually

[44:20] come here prepared to die. Honestly,

[44:22] you're the most in the-dark character in

[44:23] the film right now.

[44:24] >> Only a human mind can invent something

[44:26] as incipid as love. But the program dude

[44:29] back at the train station went to great

[44:31] lengths to waste lots of my time by

[44:32] explaining that machines too feel love.

[44:34] So now I'm confused. Plastic punch.

[44:36] >> He saved us.

[44:37] >> The military commanders aren't even

[44:38] positive the Sentinels are leaving for

[44:40] real and for good. But sure kid, go run

[44:42] and tell all of Zion that the war is

[44:43] over without any actual proof. All you

[44:45] know is that this current battle is

[44:47] paused and maybe over. Why is the

[44:49] chancellor hanging out 15 yards behind

[44:50] the front lines? Oh, sure. When the

[44:52] Sentinel army was approaching, you held

[44:53] a sweaty naked dance party in here. But

[44:55] now that the war is over, it's just

[44:56] hugs. I demand quick flashes of

[44:58] interracial nudity. Reluctant

[45:00] peacekeeping machine show respect to

[45:01] Neo's dead body instead of just

[45:02] logically turning it immediately into

[45:04] liquid fuel. I have your word.

[45:07] >> What do you think I am?

[45:09] >> Human,

[45:09] >> right? Because the machines haven't ever

[45:11] lied or been deceitful this entire

[45:12] series.

[45:20] >> Freeze. Do not move.

[45:22] >> Get it? It's like deja vu. Get it? Do

[45:25] you get it? Do you get it?

[45:26] >> No. Lieutenant, [music] your men are

[45:28] already dead.

[45:29] >> Hey, I remember that line from the

[45:30] Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for this

[45:32] first scene. And then it's on to

[45:33] something new, right? Right. Also, we

[45:35] find out later that Neo created this

[45:37] modal for some reason. And it's a sort

[45:38] of video game free-for-all testing area.

[45:40] But Neo didn't see this. He didn't even

[45:42] join the story until well after this

[45:44] happened. And Seek and Bugs will say

[45:46] something soon here about knowing this

[45:47] story inside and out. But even that

[45:49] doesn't make sense. The only way they

[45:50] know the story at all is if Neo put it

[45:52] in his famous video game, which again,

[45:54] how does he even remember these events

[45:55] so well when he wasn't there? Only the

[45:57] original story was being recorded by the

[45:59] machines as it happened and humans found

[46:01] some way to access the files and

[46:03] underground copies of that video

[46:04] circulated and became legit. Either way,

[46:06] sounds like [ __ ] to me. Even if

[46:08] Trinity told Neo this story later in

[46:10] life, she wouldn't know what the cops on

[46:11] the street said to each other.

[46:13] >> Your rejection's breaking up. Switch to

[46:14] audio.

[46:14] >> He doesn't switch to audio. The video

[46:16] remains fine. And this is never

[46:17] mentioned again. As pointless as this

[46:19] tension is, she might as well have said,

[46:20] "You're late.

[46:21] >> We know what happens next." She kicks

[46:23] their ass off.

[46:24] >> Putting the commentary track inside the

[46:25] actual movie.

[46:35] What? I know this is a computer code

[46:36] world, but she just literally went sue

[46:38] storm. Also, if she can do that, why did

[46:40] she wait until now? And why doesn't she

[46:42] do it again anytime later?

[46:45] How the hell did he know to come

[46:46] directly here? Is this the only other

[46:47] door on this street after the hotel? The

[46:49] hell?

[46:49] >> The more you like, the more you found.

[46:51] Story of my life. [sighs]

[46:53] >> I mean, is that surprising? The more I

[46:54] listen, the more I hear, the more I

[46:56] touch, the more I feel. The more you

[46:57] eat, the more. Am I profound

[46:59] incorrectly?

[47:00] >> I am

[47:02] Morpheus.

[47:02] >> There is zero reason this version of

[47:04] Morpheus couldn't have been played by

[47:05] Fishburn. I mean, other than money or

[47:07] the almighty scheduling, which usually

[47:09] just means money. Morpheus being younger

[47:10] here and even a nanobot in the real

[47:12] world does not necessitate a new actor,

[47:14] but whatever. I'm not sure why this

[47:16] movie is playing in theater 1. I get the

[47:18] sense it should be an eight. If nothing

[47:19] else, this movie is teaching me that

[47:20] modern agents, aka goddamn computer

[47:22] programs, can't aim for [ __ ] They can

[47:24] do intricate kung fu moves, but their

[47:26] computer brains are just not capable of

[47:27] aiming worth a damn, apparently. Okay,

[47:29] lots to unpack here. First of all, this

[47:31] is the office of the most famous

[47:33] designer of the most popular video game

[47:34] of all time. This, it looks like the

[47:36] office of an everyday Wall Street bro.

[47:38] Second, the monitor setup on this desk

[47:39] is chaotic neutral at best, but the far

[47:42] top left laptop is virtually unseeable

[47:44] from Neo's current position.

[47:45] >> Billions of people just living out their

[47:48] lives oblivious.

[47:50] >> Hey, I remember that line from the

[47:52] Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for this

[47:54] second scene. And then it's on to

[47:55] something new, right? Right.

[47:56] >> I mean, omg.

[47:59] >> Saying OMG like this when saying oh my

[48:01] god takes literally no more syllables.

[48:03] It's like taking a shortcut when the

[48:04] difference between the shortcut and the

[48:06] regular route is zero. I'm sure you can

[48:08] understand why our beloved parent

[48:10] company Warner Brothers has decided to

[48:12] make a sequel to the trilogy.

[48:13] >> If you ever wondered at what point self-

[48:15] reference turned into self-parody, I

[48:17] think we found it. Everything is so on

[48:18] the surface already here that there is

[48:20] no audience reward for exploration or

[48:21] nuance. This movie is going from meta to

[48:23] meta real fast. That's the thing about

[48:26] stories. They never really end, do they?

[48:28] >> I don't know. The movie Presumed

[48:29] Innocent sure ended. Apollo 13 ended.

[48:31] Hm. Maybe this is just bad hyperbole.

[48:33] We're still telling the same stories

[48:35] we've always told, just with different

[48:37] names, different faces. The MCU.

[48:40] >> Thomas, you are a suicide survivor

[48:43] gifted with a powerful imagination.

[48:45] >> This will not be the last time this

[48:46] movie uses suicide as a direct metaphor

[48:48] for escaping a fake reality. And it will

[48:50] also not be the last time I sit it for

[48:52] doing so.

[48:52] >> Do you need a refill on your

[48:53] prescription?

[48:54] >> Yeah. I wish this movie was making a

[48:56] statement about overprescribing mental

[48:58] health patients who might be treatable

[48:59] with therapy and exercise alone. But

[49:00] it's really just using therapy and drugs

[49:02] as metaphors for prison shackles, which

[49:04] is an outdated way of thinking regarding

[49:05] mental health. And it's pretty offensive

[49:06] actually. The pills are blue. Get it?

[49:08] Because he took the red pill in the

[49:10] first movie. Do you get it? Do you get

[49:12] it?

[49:14] Ah, taking pills without water or other

[49:16] liquid like some kind of monster. having

[49:17] Christina Richi and wasting her in this

[49:19] single scene. Matrix Resurrections

[49:21] making the timely and original point

[49:22] that maybe we spend too much time on our

[49:24] mobile devices.

[49:25] >> People want us up in their gray space.

[49:27] >> He just said that in a different outfit

[49:29] in a different scene. So, is the movie

[49:30] saying every day is the same but

[49:32] different? Or are these employees just

[49:33] repeating themselves every meeting? Do

[49:34] these all represent times Neo tried to

[49:36] get out or kill himself but then got

[49:37] reset?

[49:38] >> Mindless action [music] is not on brand.

[49:41] >> And the movie will go on to be mostly

[49:42] filled with uninventive mindless action.

[49:44] There are those who think this movie was

[49:45] made bland and unenjoyable on purpose as

[49:47] a kind of commentary about modern

[49:49] remakes and sequels when in reality it

[49:51] is a movie that is making a commentary

[49:52] on remakes and sequels that just so

[49:54] happens to also be pretty bland and

[49:55] unenjoyable. Showing me Neo taking a

[49:57] [ __ ] in a public bathroom. If you look

[49:59] up the word subtle in a dictionary,

[50:00] there would be a picture of this movie

[50:01] and the text would say the opposite of

[50:03] this.

[50:04] >> Obviously, the Matrix is about trans

[50:06] politics,

[50:06] >> cryptofascism. [music]

[50:07] >> It's a metaphor

[50:08] >> of capitalist exploitation. One of the

[50:10] things I think this movie does really

[50:12] well here is skewer all the

[50:13] self-important philosophical articles

[50:15] and thesis written about the original

[50:17] that were just seeing what they wanted

[50:18] to see. And yet most of the critics,

[50:20] even those who liked this movie, seem to

[50:21] think the main theme is about reboots in

[50:23] the iPhone age. Anyway, that's a sendoff

[50:25] for this movie regardless. Get it? In

[50:27] the first movie, he said a place had

[50:28] really good noodles. Do you get it? Do

[50:30] you get it? Maybe you don't want to take

[50:31] these pills. I can get down with that.

[50:33] But putting them all down the sink drain

[50:34] is a plumbing nightmare in the making.

[50:36] Just use the trash, man.

[50:38] >> We need new bullet time. I do 100%

[50:40] believe WB executives said this at one

[50:43] point. So, the sin is for WB executives.

[50:45] >> We [clears throat] need to revolutionize

[50:47] gaming again. Revolutionize gaming

[50:50] again.

[50:51] >> Again, I ask, are they just doing the

[50:53] same meeting over and over? Are these

[50:55] all different incarnations of Neo's new

[50:56] reality? I recognize that the repetition

[50:58] reinforces the remake reboot rebukes,

[51:00] but reckon we can receive a reason for

[51:01] it.

[51:02] >> How do you know if you want something

[51:03] yourself or if your upbringing

[51:05] programmed you to want it? Preachers kid

[51:06] here checking in. And the answer is you

[51:08] don't know ever.

[51:10] >> I should get more therapy, but honestly,

[51:11] I'm too goddamn tired.

[51:13] >> H weird. This movie has already kind of

[51:15] mishandled therapy by making the analyst

[51:17] a literal gatekeeper for Neo. But here

[51:18] we are again disparaging therapy by

[51:20] making it sound exhausting. And while

[51:22] sometimes therapy sessions can be

[51:23] emotionally draining, depending on the

[51:25] subject matter, the characterization of

[51:26] therapy as something to endure has long

[51:28] been a stigma that keeps people from

[51:29] getting help.

[51:30] >> Can I ask something about your game?

[51:32] >> Stop asking if you can ask something.

[51:34] Did you base your main character on

[51:36] yourself?

[51:36] >> For as much as this movie seems to want

[51:38] to decry nostalgia based income

[51:40] streamlining, it sure goes heavy on

[51:42] giving us those hits of scenes from the

[51:43] first movie. Can a thing both chastise a

[51:45] thing and be the thing at the same time?

[51:46] If hypocrisy was a business model, don't

[51:48] you think we'd have figured it out by

[51:50] now?

[51:50] >> My youngest stuck a Lego up his nose?

[51:52] >> Kids, at last.

[51:54] >> Hey, I remember that line from the

[51:56] Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for this

[51:58] third scene. And then it's on to

[51:59] something new, right? Right.

[52:01] >> This can't be happening.

[52:02] >> Do you mean the fire sprinklers? True.

[52:04] They usually have individual heat-based

[52:05] release capsules, so none of the ones in

[52:07] this room should be sensing near enough

[52:09] heat to go off. Unless, of course, they

[52:10] were programmed this way as part of the

[52:12] machine's penchant for cinematic

[52:13] water-based action scenes. Naming the

[52:15] company Deus Machina in the background

[52:16] while the new young digital Morpheus

[52:18] does impossible to shoot all the bad

[52:20] guys does not absolve you from new young

[52:22] digital Morpheus being a Deus Xmachina

[52:24] in this scene.

[52:25] >> I've missed you.

[52:26] >> So, they hid Agent Smith inside Neo's

[52:28] boss at the video game company. Really?

[52:30] I will kindly sit on my porch every

[52:32] Monday for 20 years waiting for someone

[52:34] to deliver me a good reason why. When

[52:35] the machines rebuilt a new matrix, Agent

[52:38] Smith ended up as Neo's video game boss.

[52:40] What the evering [ __ ] with the

[52:41] helling goddamn.

[52:43] >> I heard deja vu outside. Open my door

[52:45] and there you are.

[52:45] >> If the machines are trying to keep all

[52:47] this on the down low, why would they

[52:48] name the cat deja vu? Are they

[52:50] programmed with an Easter egg delivery

[52:51] directive? Look, real talk. I've done

[52:53] therapy a bunch in my life. At my count,

[52:55] at least six different offices, and none

[52:57] of them ever look like Hannibal Lecter's

[52:59] Federal Hill 5,000 ft² apartment. God

[53:01] damn, this is a huge and pretentious

[53:03] therapy office. How can anyone

[53:04] concentrate with all the ego stroking

[53:06] going on in this room's decor?

[53:07] >> Even your dislike of my cat made it into

[53:09] your matrix.

[53:10] >> Wait, I thought you said he came to you

[53:12] after he tried to jump off a building at

[53:14] a party we can see was clearly thrown

[53:16] after the success of the video game. So,

[53:17] how exactly did he name the cat in the

[53:19] Matrix Déja Vu before he even knew you?

[53:21] These machines are sloppy, man. And even

[53:22] when they try to justify their [ __ ]

[53:24] they're easily contradicted. There are

[53:25] so many clips from the other films that

[53:26] I swear I would believe you if you told

[53:28] me you can construct the entire Matrix

[53:30] trilogy from the flashbacks in this

[53:31] movie.

[53:31] >> I fly or I fall.

[53:33] >> Using suicide as an explicit metaphor

[53:35] for escaping a fake reality again. There

[53:38] was a window washer outside the office

[53:39] when Neo was getting in trouble in the

[53:41] first movie. So I guess literally

[53:43] everything has to be the same in this

[53:44] movie.

[53:44] >> They don't look like typical agents.

[53:46] They use bots [music] now skin as normal

[53:47] people. And with that, the movie gives

[53:49] itself permission to mow down as many

[53:50] human appearing people as it pleases

[53:52] since they aren't real humans. You see?

[53:54] >> And that when I did, you would be ready

[53:55] for this.

[53:58] >> A tattoo of a rabbit from a game that

[53:59] millions of people have played. How is

[54:01] this supposed to build trust? For all he

[54:02] knows, you're a stalky, stalky fan girl.

[54:04] >> We don't have to run to phone booths

[54:05] anymore either.

[54:06] >> Mostly because mirrors are more

[54:08] metaphorical and cinematic and phone

[54:09] booths don't exist anymore. But yeah,

[54:11] technology.

[54:12] >> Nothing comforts anxiety like little

[54:14] nostalgia.

[54:16] >> Try therapy and meds. Thanks for playing

[54:18] you think you know mental health. We

[54:19] will see everyone next time when Captain

[54:21] America says nothing defeats fear and

[54:23] PTSD quite like optimism.

[54:25] >> Time is always against us.

[54:27] >> Hey, I remember that line from the

[54:29] Matrix. Some nice fun nostalgia for

[54:31] this. You know what? This is going to

[54:32] happen a lot. So, let's just add 20 sins

[54:34] for this being say the line Bart the

[54:35] movie and move on.

[54:37] >> Hide me. I've been at a company making a

[54:39] game called The Matrix.

[54:41] >> Neo would be an anagram for the one at

[54:43] Cinema Sense.

[54:44] >> We've been checking that company for

[54:45] years. We screened every Thomas Anderson

[54:46] we found. What we didn't understand was

[54:48] that they could alter your DSI.

[54:50] >> Hold up. They named him Thomas freaking

[54:52] Anderson and had him design a game

[54:54] called The Matrix. And you couldn't find

[54:56] him in here because they checking notes

[54:58] changed his character skin. [laughter]

[55:07] [laughter]

[55:08] >> Keep the loop tight.

[55:09] >> And McGuffin the widgets lance through

[55:10] the Nianis fraud. I need to see movement

[55:13] on that unspecified but important

[55:14] technology. People, let's go, go, go.

[55:18] They went to great lengths to keep Neo

[55:20] alive for 60 years, but now they're just

[55:22] firing missiles that could easily kill

[55:24] him. I can't follow any of this cut to

[55:25] death action. I think at one point I saw

[55:27] a sharpened sucker stick and maybe an

[55:28] elbow to the face. This series, even the

[55:30] two sequels most people don't love, has

[55:32] long been known for inventive and

[55:33] highquality action till this entry. What

[55:35] in the name of Hypercut Mcshaky Cam is

[55:37] this nonsense? And no, it's not a

[55:39] commentary on something. Anyone in the

[55:40] comments that explains sins in this

[55:42] video by saying it's a commentary on is

[55:44] disinvited to the family reunion.

[55:46] >> Think perspective. Closer you are,

[55:48] bigger it gets.

[55:49] >> Advice I gave to my college girlfriend

[55:50] somehow makes it into the script. Also,

[55:52] this works. I think I seen this film

[55:55] before and I didn't like the ending. Eh,

[55:59] he doesn't have a side view of her head

[56:00] and face. He is directly across from her

[56:02] pod. He can maybe see her feet. These

[56:04] machines are designed like bugs and

[56:06] violently grab him by the neck and push

[56:07] him under the amniotic fluid before

[56:09] saving it instead of presenting

[56:10] themselves as friendly because movie has

[56:12] to squeeze every ounce of false tension

[56:13] out of us before we get bored and look

[56:15] at our phones

[56:19] being able to hide from squidies this

[56:20] easily. As they fly around and Neo takes

[56:22] in all the [ __ ] I'm reminded about the

[56:24] first movie and the first time he was

[56:26] pulled out of the Matrix and his eyes

[56:27] didn't work because he had never used

[56:28] them. But now, after not using them for

[56:30] 60 years in the Neutrix, he's able to

[56:31] see perfectly as soon as he's unplugged.

[56:33] What's up, Doc?

[56:34] >> Having a character named Bug say this

[56:36] just because you can't.

[56:36] >> But see, they don't know you like I do.

[56:38] >> But all you know is what he wrote for

[56:40] you, right? You're his program inside

[56:42] the program. And shouldn't the Docbots

[56:44] be able to interpret that coding? This

[56:45] Morpheus is literally a weak faximile of

[56:47] the real thing. And the fact that the

[56:48] movie thinks we're buying into this is

[56:49] dumber than forcehiring a director to

[56:51] sabotage her own intellectual property.

[56:53] >> No, I'm done fighting.

[56:55] >> [ __ ] you know that's not true. And

[56:56] you're just adding to the length of this

[56:57] thing. So get your ass out there and

[56:59] [ __ ] do some kung fu. Nufus thinks

[57:01] the best way to help Neo's physical body

[57:02] would be to fight in the construct, but

[57:04] when Smith was beating the out of Neo in

[57:06] the first movie in the subway, plugged

[57:07] in Neo on the ship was shaking and

[57:09] convulsing and bleeding. I know he's

[57:10] trying to stimulate Neo's mind in the

[57:12] hopes that the mind will help the body,

[57:15] but this is a terrible idea.

[57:18] See, also I'd give all the sense back if

[57:20] this fight scene cut to the Morpheus is

[57:21] fighting Neo kid scrolling on his phone

[57:23] and yawning. So, Neo destroys the

[57:25] fighting realm, maybe the construct

[57:26] itself, and then wakes up in his

[57:28] bedroom. What about his vitals? Did he

[57:30] use the one powers to put all his

[57:32] molecules back into place and hold them

[57:33] there?

[57:34] >> When this new version of the Matrix was

[57:36] uploaded, there was a purge.

[57:37] >> You keep that revenge fantasy violence

[57:39] porn franchise out of my matrix. Do you

[57:41] think once a year WB gives its execs a

[57:43] green light to murder franchises with no

[57:45] repercussions? It would explain a lot.

[57:47] Also, that there was a purge is the only

[57:49] explanation we get for why the Oracle is

[57:50] gone. It's fascinatingly lazy writing.

[57:52] >> Promised peace and they gave us purge.

[57:55] >> They also pee at paradise and put up a

[57:58] parking lot.

[58:01] Sequoa, but everybody calls me Seek.

[58:03] >> If your real name is Sequoa, why do they

[58:05] call you Seek instead of Seek? This

[58:06] would be like shortening Rihanna to Ry

[58:08] instead of Riri.

[58:09] >> You knew my grandfather, Captain Roland.

[58:12] >> Hey, that's really

[58:15] [snorts]

[58:16] >> whenever you're feeling up for it. I've

[58:18] got like a million questions.

[58:20] >> That's not weird at all. But also,

[58:21] aren't we trying to save the world or

[58:23] what? Jesus.

[58:24] >> What is that?

[58:25] >> An exomorphic particle codeex. Oh,

[58:29] >> it gives programs access to this world

[58:31] within limits.

[58:32] >> Didn't the program Smith come into this

[58:34] world in human form in the original

[58:35] trilogy, though? I guess this is a

[58:37] humane way for programs to come to this

[58:38] world, but you make it sound all

[58:40] original and

[58:41] >> Morpheus.

[58:43] Thank you.

[58:43] >> Neato shakes hands with a tiny bot

[58:45] version of his mentor that he partially

[58:47] recreated in a modal, which is to say,

[58:49] Neo knocks Knuckles with a naked nano

[58:51] knowledge neighbor not native to this

[58:52] narrative with nar negative notion on

[58:54] the entire encounter. How does it work?

[58:57] >> Paramagnetic oscillation.

[58:59] >> Oh you movie rejected dialogue for this

[59:01] moment included trans electronic

[59:03] positration. Abso prefect nebulation

[59:05] ticto vagentic speculation and

[59:07] endocronomic supra frustrust.

[59:10] >> Even if it were Trinity and she wanted

[59:11] to be free. We have no idea how to do it

[59:14] >> yet.

[59:15] >> Yet cliche.

[59:16] >> That looks real.

[59:17] >> Bio Sky works kind of like grow lights.

[59:20] >> Wait, is that a weed joke? Is there weed

[59:23] in the year 2247 or whatever? Did Neo

[59:25] ever show any signs of being a weed guy?

[59:27] Oh. Oh, wait. Apparently, grow lights

[59:29] are for any kind of indoor plant, and

[59:30] I've just projected myself onto this

[59:32] scene. [laughter] What? What is weed,

[59:34] though? I certainly do not know. Is it

[59:36] just me or is this old age makeup

[59:37] terrible? It looks like the instruction

[59:39] was to make it look like Jada mixed with

[59:40] the William Shatner mask from Halloween.

[59:42] Cocoon 3. Jada. I'm looking forward to

[59:44] it. But just to be clear, that's not a

[59:46] joke about Jada at all. Just about the

[59:47] makeup department. I wouldn't want to

[59:48] get slapped with a lawsuit.

[59:50] >> Transfer your access codes. You are

[59:52] done, [music] Captain. Oh no. I can't

[59:55] believe she lost her. I don't really

[59:56] give much of a [ __ ] She'll be back.

[59:58] Nothing matters.

[59:59] >> Zion was stuck in the past. Stuck in

[1:00:01] war.

[1:00:02] >> I don't know. They had all those engines

[1:00:03] to keep the city running and the peace

[1:00:05] mosh pits. You grew a strawberry and

[1:00:07] suddenly you're enlightened. I'm sure

[1:00:08] the overandling here is the entire

[1:00:09] point. But who is maintaining this? And

[1:00:11] why are they 15 ft tall?

[1:00:12] >> Nothing can breed violence like scarcity

[1:00:16] >> or oppression or dictatorships or racism

[1:00:18] and genocide. Sporting events in

[1:00:20] Vancouver. And a lot of things breed

[1:00:21] violence as well as or better than

[1:00:23] scarcity. Neo gets in prison, goes to

[1:00:25] his balcony, and is immediately rescued.

[1:00:27] Patting the runtime called, and it's

[1:00:29] filing suit for impersonation. General

[1:00:30] Jada Smith watches the escaped Neo and

[1:00:33] company take off, and she does nothing.

[1:00:35] This will be important in a few minutes

[1:00:36] when she inexplicably sends forces after

[1:00:38] them to bring them all back to IO. Huh.

[1:00:40] But it looks like the mirror reflection

[1:00:42] is of this hotel room we see on the

[1:00:44] right. But the reflections table has a

[1:00:45] chair in the wrong place and a full

[1:00:47] bouquet of orange flowers. While the

[1:00:48] right has a chair way out of sight and a

[1:00:50] single flower in the centerpiece. I

[1:00:51] guess they're hoping people will be

[1:00:52] distracted by that Eiffel Tower. But

[1:00:54] there are loads of differences here that

[1:00:55] I could go on for days about.

[1:00:57] Predictable as ever. Oh, hey. Not quite,

[1:00:59] Agent Smith. It's been like an hour. You

[1:01:01] good? Just chilling in the Matrix

[1:01:03] waiting for Neo to come back so the

[1:01:04] movie can once again wash, rinse, and

[1:01:06] repeat. At least the movie isn't forcing

[1:01:07] some sort of meravenian reference. It is

[1:01:10] you.

[1:01:12] >> Well, as with Morpheus, there is zero

[1:01:14] reason why this should be played by a

[1:01:16] new actor other than again scheduling

[1:01:18] difficulties, which just means money.

[1:01:19] Easy to see how Jonathan Grath, bless

[1:01:21] him, is cheaper than Hugo Weaving is at

[1:01:23] this point. No,

[1:01:24] >> all you have to do is stay out of the

[1:01:25] Matrix and leave the good doctor to me.

[1:01:27] >> Somehow, in the last 60 years, Smith has

[1:01:29] grown more angry at the analyst, who is

[1:01:31] just a new architect, than Neo, which is

[1:01:33] surprising considering Neo is the one

[1:01:35] who beat his ass multiple times over

[1:01:36] multiple films. What the MV is trying to

[1:01:38] say is

[1:01:39] >> the MV? The MV? What the [ __ ] is this

[1:01:41] movie? And can we get to the part where

[1:01:42] the knee and the Trin finally get back

[1:01:44] together? Sure, there's a lot of stuff

[1:01:45] going on here. Not sure exactly what,

[1:01:47] but people seem to be occasionally shaky

[1:01:49] cam hitting each other while the feral

[1:01:51] venian is shouting things like suck my

[1:01:52] silky ass and couch flicks climatey wiki

[1:01:55] piss and and honestly, what more does a

[1:01:57] Matrix fan really need?

[1:01:58] >> Originality

[1:02:00] mattered. The guy yelling originality

[1:02:02] mattered is from the sequel to the first

[1:02:05] Matrix film. And that perhaps is

[1:02:07] everything wrong with this movie. It

[1:02:08] wants to say whatever it wants about

[1:02:10] itself, even if it contradicts previous

[1:02:12] films, and then get all bulletproof if

[1:02:14] someone dares to question the official

[1:02:15] narrative.

[1:02:16] >> I still kung fu.

[1:02:24] [applause]

[1:02:30] While Neo fights Smith inside the

[1:02:31] Matrix, I'm still wondering about how he

[1:02:33] takes all these hits without suffering

[1:02:35] back at the ship in human form. You

[1:02:36] know, like he did even when Morpheus was

[1:02:38] kind of pretend fighting him. He's 100

[1:02:40] years old, godamn it. And this movie

[1:02:42] just wants me to forget that whenever

[1:02:43] it's convenient. Wait, who are these

[1:02:45] people Bugs is fighting? Wait, it

[1:02:46] doesn't matter. Carry on then. Did Neo

[1:02:48] just generate a force field? Why are

[1:02:50] there force fields all of a sudden? And

[1:02:51] more importantly, why would he ever stop

[1:02:53] generating them? Trinity's new vocation

[1:02:55] and his motorcycle builder repairer. And

[1:02:57] like everything else in this film, it's

[1:02:59] a little on the nose. Imagine if Neo

[1:03:01] found her and she was a cupcake

[1:03:02] decorator. And then Neo could be all

[1:03:03] like cupcakes. Wo,

[1:03:05] >> I don't have a lot of time.

[1:03:07] >> Cool. Skip. Old Dr. Hower using this

[1:03:09] bullet time nonsense to slow down Neo is

[1:03:11] certainly [ __ ] but did it have to

[1:03:13] look like actual, too? What's up with

[1:03:15] this janky low frame rate crap? Why does

[1:03:17] this movie want everything to look

[1:03:18] worse?

[1:03:18] >> Did you know hope and despair are nearly

[1:03:20] identical in code?

[1:03:22] >> This movie is full of these little

[1:03:23] pearls of not wisdom that it thinks are

[1:03:25] super deep, but are really just

[1:03:26] nonsense. Did you know that anxiety is

[1:03:27] the only cure for comfort? Did you know

[1:03:29] that an evil bear and a gentle bear

[1:03:30] share almost all the same atoms? And the

[1:03:32] director said, "Yeah, sure. The

[1:03:34] character has been evil monologuing for

[1:03:35] the last 5 minutes and blatantly

[1:03:37] torturing our protagonist. But just in

[1:03:38] case people were still wondering if he's

[1:03:40] truly an [ __ ] let's do the whole

[1:03:41] apple biting thing because I'd hate for

[1:03:43] anything in this movie to be subtle."

[1:03:44] >> You and her quietly yearning for what

[1:03:48] you don't have.

[1:03:49] >> I guess he thinks he can just reboot

[1:03:50] them or something. But even so, why give

[1:03:52] this whole I win, I'm better than you

[1:03:54] speech, detailing your whole plan. If

[1:03:56] you do reboot them, then no one will

[1:03:58] ever remember this speech, making it

[1:04:00] even stupider. It's so odd to me that

[1:04:01] the first three movies went out of their

[1:04:03] way to make the city in the Matrix seem

[1:04:04] like any city or every city. But in the

[1:04:06] fourth movie, they were all like, "Let's

[1:04:08] just do San Francisco." And they call

[1:04:10] that a choice.

[1:04:11] >> We get it already. Choice is an

[1:04:13] illusion. This is like the fourth time

[1:04:14] you said it already, and I'm still no

[1:04:15] closer to understanding why you don't

[1:04:17] have enough exomorphic particles to

[1:04:19] complete the back of your head. Did the

[1:04:20] exomorphic factory run short on them?

[1:04:22] And we're back in IO. This movie is

[1:04:24] playing hopscotch,

[1:04:25] >> which she exercised with her own

[1:04:27] particular brand of shortsighted

[1:04:30] stupidity.

[1:04:30] >> Do you think they cut a bunch of stuff?

[1:04:32] Maybe. I can't for the life of me

[1:04:33] understand why she was wisfully hoping

[1:04:34] for the best as she watched them fly

[1:04:36] away yesterday, but now she's all pissed

[1:04:37] off about it. The locations aren't the

[1:04:39] only part of this movie playing

[1:04:40] hopscotch.

[1:04:41] >> My father designed the resurrection pods

[1:04:43] where Neo and Trinity were imprisoned.

[1:04:45] >> NO, [screaming]

[1:04:47] WAIT, DO I CARE ABOUT THAT?

[1:04:48] >> A few hours ago. Say, is that Bug

[1:04:51] standing there at detention receiving

[1:04:52] this military mission briefing? Didn't

[1:04:53] you demote her and there was going to be

[1:04:55] a court marshal? I think, right? I love

[1:04:56] how discipline only really matters in

[1:04:58] times of peace.

[1:04:59] >> I need two more.

[1:05:03] >> Are you out of your minds?

[1:05:05] You don't even know what it is.

[1:05:07] >> You're the one that asked for two

[1:05:08] volunteers without giving the mission

[1:05:10] details first.

[1:05:11] >> The passages used to rescue Neo are now

[1:05:13] sealed.

[1:05:13] >> The machines had only left them unsealed

[1:05:15] for something they referred to as the

[1:05:16] plotinduced exhaust port coralering. We

[1:05:19] don't know exactly what it means, but we

[1:05:20] will have to think of a new and exciting

[1:05:21] rescue for what we're temporarily

[1:05:23] calling the third act.

[1:05:24] >> In order to unplug Trinity's body while

[1:05:26] her mind still remains connected to the

[1:05:28] Matrix, I'm going to need a second human

[1:05:30] brain to implement the bypass.

[1:05:31] >> Whatever, dude. Just get on with it. My

[1:05:33] other favorite part is how the machines

[1:05:35] are like, "Oh no, Neo escaped. I bet

[1:05:37] he's coming back for Trinity. Seal off

[1:05:38] his escape routes and post a bunch of

[1:05:40] Sentinels by the tower." But that whole

[1:05:42] area right next to Trinity, keep that

[1:05:44] surveillance free. Wouldn't want to

[1:05:46] overdo it. This is where it gets tricky.

[1:05:48] >> Using the cords and tentacles to

[1:05:50] strategically cover the specific parts

[1:05:51] of the human body our culture has deemed

[1:05:53] inappropriate. Yep. Super tricky. I

[1:05:55] don't think it's very fair that Neo has

[1:05:57] to try and explain everything to Trinity

[1:05:58] and give her a choice while a 100

[1:06:00] heavily armed FBI and SWAT guys all

[1:06:02] stand around eavesdropping.

[1:06:05] >> See, this is Loco. Lies, lies, and more

[1:06:09] lies.

[1:06:11] Smith.

[1:06:11] >> Yep. Because Smith can apparently

[1:06:13] operate in the analyst bullet time when

[1:06:14] Neo can't and also just happens to be

[1:06:16] here at the exact moment Neo needs

[1:06:17] saving for a Smithious Xmacha. Sure, why

[1:06:20] not? If the goal for the movie was to

[1:06:22] create the most confusing and

[1:06:23] indecipherable action scene possible,

[1:06:25] I'd say they hit the jackpot when they

[1:06:26] landed on Mosh Pit with guns. Nicely

[1:06:29] done. Making this movie all about Neo

[1:06:30] and Trinity's love was a mistake. Neo

[1:06:32] and Trinity's relationship was always a

[1:06:34] blandest storyline in the original

[1:06:35] films. While Neo versus Smith never

[1:06:37] failed to crackle, this movie puts the

[1:06:38] boring story line up front and basically

[1:06:40] makes Smith an ally. There's subverting

[1:06:42] expectations and then there's just in

[1:06:44] the bed.

[1:06:44] >> I don't suppose he can still [music]

[1:06:46] fly?

[1:06:49] >> Yeah, that's not happening.

[1:06:50] >> Does this movie want to give any

[1:06:51] reasoning for why things are or aren't

[1:06:53] happening? Or are we just supposed to

[1:06:54] laugh at this projectile dysfunction

[1:06:56] joke and move on? And if so, sorry about

[1:06:58] forgetting to do the laugh part.

[1:07:00] >> How is she? [music] Lifelines are good.

[1:07:02] >> What? When they unplug Neo, he was near

[1:07:04] death immediately and he had to go fight

[1:07:05] Morpheus at a fake dojo to get his mojo

[1:07:08] back, which somehow then kept his

[1:07:09] hundred-y old body together. No one will

[1:07:11] be seated while the Matrix 4 goes full

[1:07:12] Night of the Living Dead.

[1:07:15] So Neo is forces sensitive then. But

[1:07:17] again, how least the movie could have

[1:07:19] done is give us a training montage with

[1:07:20] Obi-Wan Naobbi. I'm not going to show it

[1:07:22] to you. So here's a picture of the

[1:07:24] Catric poster while we chat. But the

[1:07:25] movie will now enter a section that's

[1:07:27] one of the most tonedeaf scenes in all

[1:07:29] of film. As a technicality allows the

[1:07:30] movie to have hundreds of people hurl

[1:07:32] themselves out windows and off

[1:07:33] buildings, triggering everyone from

[1:07:35] folks with suicidal ideiation to people

[1:07:37] still grappling with post 911 PTSD to

[1:07:40] survivors of suicide victims and more.

[1:07:41] The Wowskis deserve a lot of praise for

[1:07:43] the inclusivity of different races and

[1:07:45] sexualities in their films. But between

[1:07:47] this and Cloud Atlas, it's beginning to

[1:07:48] look like they have a blind spot to the

[1:07:50] issue of suicidal imagery. It is

[1:07:51] nighttime when they enter this building,

[1:07:53] but full-on dawn when they exit to the

[1:07:55] roof. That's not how the sun works. Why

[1:07:57] are they shooting at Neo? The analyst

[1:07:59] wants them alive. No. Or has he switched

[1:08:01] to if I can't have them, no one can.

[1:08:03] This whole scene just plays like two

[1:08:04] kids playing with toys. I wouldn't be

[1:08:06] surprised if we cut to one of them

[1:08:07] shouting, "Well, I brought my

[1:08:08] helicopters, the E force field dogs."

[1:08:11] Cool. Awesome. Beautiful. Love it. Wow.

[1:08:14] But um how Okay, so he was going to

[1:08:17] fall, but Trinity is the one now and can

[1:08:19] fly, so she saved him. But earlier in

[1:08:21] the movie, Bug said she saw Neo jump off

[1:08:23] a building and he did not fall. So why

[1:08:25] is he falling now?

[1:08:26] >> We were on our way to remake your world.

[1:08:28] >> Can't the machines just like flash the

[1:08:30] firmware or power it off and back on or

[1:08:32] something? This is all a software

[1:08:33] construct still, right? I'm all for the

[1:08:35] Trinio union, but I have no idea how any

[1:08:37] of this helps either the real world or

[1:08:39] the long-term viability of the Matrix.

[1:08:41] It's almost like to sort it all out,

[1:08:43] they will need some koas. Seoas, they

[1:08:46] need to plant some sequoas is all I

[1:08:48] meant. Please don't make more movies. As

[1:08:49] Neo and Trinity fly into the sky exactly

[1:08:51] like Neo at the end of the first film,

[1:08:52] it's important to note that while I have

[1:08:54] sinned all the excessive callbacks to

[1:08:56] the first three movies, I will still sin

[1:08:58] the fact that they somehow couldn't get

[1:08:59] a Rage Against the Machine song to end

[1:09:01] this movie. Well, it's a rage song, but

[1:09:03] it's a cover of what you ask? The same

[1:09:06] song that ended the first movie. God

[1:09:08] damn.

[1:09:09] >> What we need is a series of videos that

[1:09:13] we call the cat tricks.

[1:09:15] >> They actually filmed this also. Oh, holy

[1:09:18] noles. This movie is 2 and 1/2 hours

[1:09:19] long.

[1:09:25] >> Pills are good.

[1:09:27] >> Pills are good.

[1:09:32] >> Get up here.

[1:09:33] >> Wiggle your big toe.

[1:09:35] >> The answer is out there, Neo.

[1:09:39] It's looking for you

[1:09:41] and it will find you.

[1:09:43] >> And I will kill you.

[1:09:46] Understand?

[1:09:48] Then hit me if you can.

[1:09:55] >> Sweep the leg.

[1:09:59] >> You have a problem with that.

[1:10:01] >> Got the basic layout. Bookstore, cafe.

[1:10:04] Almost everything else is here, too.

[1:10:06] >> Who are the people?

[1:10:07] >> Projections in my subconscious.

[1:10:09] >> It's yours.

[1:10:10] >> Yes. Remember, you are the dreamer. You

[1:10:12] build this world. I am the subject. My

[1:10:14] mind populates. You can literally talk

[1:10:17] to my subconscious. That's one of the

[1:10:18] ways we extract information from the

[1:10:20] subject.

[1:10:21] >> We're going in.

[1:10:23] >> Taking Neo to see her.

[1:10:29] >> See who? The Oracle.

[1:10:39] >> Who is this?

[1:10:40] >> It's Jake from State Farm.

[1:10:42] >> What are you wearing? Jake from State

[1:10:44] Farm.

[1:10:45] >> Uh, khakis.

[1:10:47] >> She sounds hideous.

[1:10:49] >> I'm not afraid anymore.

[1:10:52] Told me that I would fall in love and

[1:10:53] that that man,

[1:10:56] the man that I loved, would be the one,

[1:11:11] everyone.

[1:11:13] Listen up. At the edge of our hope, at

[1:11:16] the end of our time, we have chosen not

[1:11:18] only to believe in ourselves, but in

[1:11:21] EACH OTHER. WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO

[1:11:24] THE NIGHT. We will not vanish without a

[1:11:28] fight.

[1:11:30] We're going to live on.

[1:11:33] We're going to survive.

[1:11:36] Today, WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE

[1:11:40] DAY.

[1:11:41] here right now.

[1:11:43] >> Yes. Steve, don't come yet.

[1:11:45] >> You feel this?

[1:11:48] >> I'll never let go.

[1:11:50] >> All right, guys. Uh, listen this little

[1:11:51] blues riff and be watch me for the

[1:11:53] changes and try and keep up. Okay.

[1:12:07] He's after the Dragon Ball. Is it safe?

[1:12:13] It has begun.

[1:12:14] >> If you're looking for a berserk night

[1:12:16] out in in the New York, I know just the

[1:12:18] place for you. New York's hottest club

[1:12:21] is Whimsy. Condemned by Glad and the EPA

[1:12:24] from Ghostbusters.

[1:12:26] This old wet band-aid found in a in a

[1:12:29] jacuzzi is the kind of place that makes

[1:12:31] you feel weird the next time you see

[1:12:32] your parents.

[1:12:34] >> Oh no,

[1:12:36] they're

[1:12:37] >> my eyes. The goggles do nothing.

[1:12:43] [music]

[1:12:46] >> SPARTANS,

[1:12:48] WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION? [screaming]

[1:13:02] >> COMRADES, our own fleet doesn't know our

[1:13:05] full potential. They will do everything

[1:13:08] possible to test us, but they will only

[1:13:10] test their own embarrassment.

[1:13:12] >> We will pass through the American

[1:13:14] patrols, pass their sonets, and lay off

[1:13:17] their largest city and listen to their

[1:13:19] rock and roll while we conduct missile

[1:13:23] drills.

[1:13:24] >> Get you.

[1:13:25] >> I'm going to get you.

[1:13:26] >> I'm going to swim with you.

[1:13:27] >> I'm going to get you.

[1:13:28] >> I'm going to be your best friend.

[1:13:31] >> Good feelings gone. I am

[1:13:35] kind.

[1:13:36] >> What a beautiful day to be alive. Am I

[1:13:38] right? Problemmo.

[1:13:40] >> No problemmo.

[1:13:41] >> I needed coffee.

[1:13:42] >> Put that coffee down.

[1:13:45] >> Oh, rubber ducky. You're the one.

[1:13:49] >> Life insurance.

[1:13:50] >> Bingo was his name.

[1:13:52] >> All right. You want me to check him out?

[1:13:54] >> It's from way UP HERE. YOU ALL LOOK LIKE

[1:13:56] LITTLE ANTS.

[1:13:57] >> But it wasn't a dream. It was a place.

[1:14:00] And you and you and you and you were

[1:14:04] there.

[1:14:04] >> Do or do not. There is no trying.

[1:14:08] >> Before we get started,

[1:14:10] >> does anyone want to get out?

[1:14:12] >> You never appreciated our relationship.

[1:14:14] >> You think you're my greatest enemy.

[1:14:16] >> Yes. You're obsessed with me.

[1:14:19] >> No, I'm not.

[1:14:19] >> Yes, you are.

[1:14:20] >> No, I'm not.

[1:14:20] >> YES, YOU ARE.

[1:14:21] >> WHO ELSE DRIVES YOU TO ONEUP THEM THE

[1:14:23] way that I do,

[1:14:24] >> Bane? We can't go back.

[1:14:27] >> We have to go back, Kate. The sheeple

[1:14:30] aren't going anywhere. They like my

[1:14:33] world. They don't want this

[1:14:35] sentimentality. They don't want freedom

[1:14:37] or empowerment. You want to be fooled.