He's Doing Awful Stand Up Now

[00:00] I just watched something that I still

[00:01] can't believe is real. It's just so

[00:04] painfully pathetic.

[00:07] Last night on stream, there was one guy

[00:08] in chat for like the two and a half

[00:10] hours I was playing Wacky Games saying,

[00:13] "You've got to check out Ned Fulmer's

[00:15] standup." And for some reason, it didn't

[00:19] process what that meant up here. I

[00:21] thought he had made a video called

[00:23] standup where he was doing some kind of

[00:25] like I don't know artsy think piece or

[00:28] something reflecting on his infidelity

[00:31] and how cheating affected him cuz all he

[00:33] does now is make videos about how he

[00:36] cheated on his wife and the effect that

[00:38] it's had on him and like almost going on

[00:40] this like self-pity tour about him being

[00:43] the victim. Even did the podcast where

[00:46] he talked about him cheating directly to

[00:48] her. just brutal, awful garbage. So, I

[00:53] looked it up this morning because it got

[00:54] me curious. No, the standup refers to

[00:57] him doing standup comedy. And you'll

[01:00] never guess what his material consists

[01:02] of.

[01:03] >> Yeah, if you don't know me, um, don't

[01:06] Google me.

[01:08] Uh, I am Ned Fulmer. Oh, that was so

[01:12] uncomfortable. And um yeah, I used to be

[01:16] famous at BuzzFeed for trying new

[01:18] things. Then I cheated on my wife. Turns

[01:21] out that was the one thing I should not

[01:25] have tried that was new. I swear to God,

[01:28] Ned is like Spongebob with the ripped

[01:30] pants. He just keeps bringing up one

[01:33] thing, the cheating, and he's making it

[01:35] his whole brand now. He completely

[01:38] torpedoed his whole career because of

[01:42] him cheating and instead of just moving

[01:44] on and doing something else, he

[01:46] desperately clings to like internet [ __ ]

[01:49] and has made him being a cheater his

[01:52] whole thing. So now he does like a

[01:54] humiliation ritual, you know,

[01:56] terrorizing open mic nights here with

[01:59] this [ __ ] trash. It is I like it's

[02:03] incomprehensible

[02:04] to a sane mind. So, this video is about

[02:07] him like leading up to the standup

[02:09] getting coached on how to do standup.

[02:12] And every step of the way, he tries to

[02:13] find every excuse to mention him being a

[02:16] cheater. It's not even comedic. It just

[02:19] makes people already rightfully dislike

[02:21] you. Like, they're not even laughing at

[02:22] you. They're not even laughing with you.

[02:24] They're not even laughing. You're just

[02:26] telling them that you're a piece of

[02:28] [ __ ] Like, so the response, he does the

[02:31] exact same routine twice, and the

[02:32] response is always the same.

[02:35] Haha.

[02:37] Like like it makes no sense. He talks

[02:40] about cheating like those washed up

[02:42] peaked in high school losers talk about

[02:44] the time they were football quarterback

[02:46] for a single spring season. And balln

[02:50] knowowers will recognize that he's

[02:52] literally verbatim repeating something

[02:54] he said on that infamously

[02:56] trash podcast where he was just talking

[02:59] about why he cheated to the woman he

[03:02] cheated on. And he even said this exact

[03:04] thing line for line, bar for bar, beat

[03:07] for beat of, oh yeah, don't Google me.

[03:12] It's so weird. And I think the reason

[03:15] he's doing this is because he wants to

[03:18] just get like views off the absur the

[03:20] absurdity of it. He knows no one's like

[03:22] in his corner on his side. So he's

[03:25] hoping by playing into it and reminding

[03:27] everyone of it, they'll tune in for the

[03:29] train wreck. And it's not even working.

[03:32] This has 63 likes. I think it had like

[03:34] 10,000 views or something. But I've seen

[03:37] like a lot of people made videos around

[03:39] it. Like when I typed in Ned Fulmer

[03:41] standup, his was like the last one on

[03:43] the first page. So people are like

[03:46] pointing at him and throwing tomatoes,

[03:48] but they're never actually trickling

[03:49] back down to his channel cuz no one

[03:51] wants to see this [ __ ] man. It's so

[03:54] [ __ ] peculiar.

[03:56] made me

[03:58] check a lot of the privilege from past

[04:01] experiences

[04:03] being an influencer and stuff. But, you

[04:05] know, I've been practicing self-care

[04:07] lately. Uh, things like crying on the

[04:09] toilet and uh doom scrolling Tinder. You

[04:13] know, I got very discombobulated in the

[04:15] middle of my set. I got off track. I

[04:18] kind of forgot things. Uh, what else?

[04:21] What else? Um, you know, you could say

[04:23] I'm just I'm in the middle of a rebrand.

[04:25] You know, I'm embracing my jaded dadbod

[04:28] Ben Affleck back tattoo aesthetic. You

[04:31] know, I'm less daddy and I'm more every

[04:34] other weekend father.

[04:37] Yeah. No, I'm kidding. I have a great

[04:39] relationship with my kids. Bro, this

[04:42] guy's charisma is like my Trump phone.

[04:44] It just doesn't exist. It's actually

[04:46] impressive how devoid of life his

[04:50] speaking is. And that awkward stick can

[04:54] definitely work for a lot of talented

[04:55] comics. He is neither talented nor a

[04:58] comic. I don't really get what even made

[05:02] him think about doing standup in the

[05:04] first place beyond just giving people

[05:07] more ammunition to clown on him. It

[05:10] really might be a fetish for him at this

[05:11] point. I think that's definitely not off

[05:13] the table. These aren't even really

[05:16] jokes. He's not even telling jokes. He's

[05:18] just letting people know that he's a

[05:20] loser. But it's not even in like a

[05:22] comedic way where you'd like

[05:23] uncomfortably laugh at it. You just are

[05:25] sitting here watching a really weird

[05:30] specimen confess to being a piece of

[05:33] [ __ ]

[05:34] And that's really it.

[05:36] >> This experience has aged me. You know,

[05:37] I'm like the uh Yeah, true.

[05:41] I'm like the uh Obama before the

[05:44] presidency verse after meme. Um, except

[05:47] instead of killing Osama bin Laden, I

[05:50] killed my brand sponsorship

[05:51] opportunities.

[05:53] >> Yeah, right now the only brands that'll

[05:56] sponsor me are Boner Pills and Better

[05:59] Help.

[06:00] >> Pretty solid.

[06:01] >> Pretty solid. Yeah. No, actually

[06:03] BetterHelp rejected me too. My Boner

[06:06] Pills and BetterHelp line. Someone

[06:08] heckled like, "Hey, those are actually

[06:10] pretty good sponsors." I was like, "Oh,

[06:12] this is this is a different crowd."

[06:15] That's the only actual laugh that he

[06:17] gets throughout the set there when he

[06:18] says the experienced aged him. And it's

[06:21] because it's so bad that the people

[06:24] there who are also comics couldn't

[06:26] believe that he even bothered saying

[06:28] that [ __ ] It was so low that they

[06:30] laughed at him for it. And then he goes

[06:34] into like one of his lines about the

[06:36] Moner pills and better help. And then

[06:39] the laughter is gone. Also, one thing

[06:43] that he loves about his set is to assume

[06:46] everyone is just online all the time.

[06:48] So, we'll understand like Better Help

[06:51] and why that'd be like a joke here

[06:54] because of their reputation. And like he

[06:56] even opens his set about being social

[06:59] media famous like

[07:02] he's trying to cater to a specific crowd

[07:05] that is not going to open Mike Knights

[07:08] in the first place.

[07:10] I'm just trying to rebuild my life with

[07:12] integrity one day at a time. And I'm

[07:15] grateful to be here. Thankful to you all

[07:18] for having me. And I'm so so thankful to

[07:22] Boner Pills and BetterHelp for

[07:24] sponsoring today's set. Thank you. Thank

[07:25] you so much.

[07:28] >> Made some friends.

[07:30] >> Whoa. A lot of sad dudes get him to

[07:34] stand up after they get a divorce.

[07:37] >> Thanks for having me. Thanks for having

[07:39] me. Oh man, that was

[07:40] >> You got cooked. I got cooked pretty bad.

[07:42] >> YOU GOT COOKED, BRO. You're going to go

[07:44] therapy tomorrow for this.

[07:46] >> This is a good PSA for being faithful to

[07:48] your wife throughout this whole

[07:49] experience.

[07:50] >> Can't keep your dick in your pants,

[07:51] you're going to wind up bombing in the

[07:53] pool room at a Mexican restaurant

[07:56] 10:30 at night.

[07:57] >> Just watching Ned Fulmer interact with

[07:59] other human beings is like how an alien

[08:02] would try and talk with us. So like he's

[08:04] thanking the guy for having him there

[08:06] and the guy's actually giddy. He is

[08:08] giggling hard about how [ __ ] hard Ned

[08:12] just got cooked because it was a

[08:14] disaster for him. And the way that Ned's

[08:16] responding is it's like inhuman. Like

[08:20] there's almost no real

[08:23] like sentience behind his words. I don't

[08:26] know. Like I' I never really watched the

[08:28] Try Guys, so I'm not overly familiar

[08:30] with Ned, but like the way he talks with

[08:33] others feels really fake and forced.

[08:35] like there's no actual humanity or soul

[08:38] behind it. But yeah, the other comics

[08:40] going up there and just insulting him.

[08:43] That made me laugh. And I think it's a

[08:45] legitimate possibility that that's what

[08:46] he's going for here, just being the

[08:48] punching bag to try and soak some clams

[08:50] off the ad revenue from people insulting

[08:52] him and trying to make content out of

[08:54] people making fun of him. So, he's

[08:57] always putting himself in these

[08:58] positions for that to be ample

[09:02] opportunities to do so, which I think is

[09:05] just so

[09:08] embarrassing cringe pathetic pitiful

[09:12] almost like it's it's just what the [ __ ]

[09:16] is even the point? Like, just just do

[09:18] something else, man.

[09:20] >> Hello everybody. I'm Ned Fulmer. If you

[09:23] know me, I'm sorry. Uh, and if you don't

[09:26] know me, don't Google me.

[09:28] >> Yeah, I uh don't know if you know uh but

[09:32] I uh I was social media famous at

[09:35] BuzzFeed for trying new things and then

[09:38] I cheated on my wife. Turns out that was

[09:42] the one thing I really shouldn't have

[09:44] tried new.

[09:48] So, he's doing another open mic night.

[09:51] This time I think it's no comics in the

[09:53] crowd. I think this is just like an

[09:55] audience here to enjoy some standup.

[09:59] God rest their souls. They they didn't

[10:00] know what they were in store for here.

[10:02] They were held hostage by Ned Fulmer.

[10:05] This [ __ ] is more painful than like a

[10:07] [ __ ] ISIS beheading video here. But

[10:10] he does get more laughs this time

[10:11] around. I think it comes from a place of

[10:14] like them trying to be nice. So, it's a

[10:17] lot of pity laughs because I just can't

[10:21] imagine anyone genuinely having like a

[10:23] belly laugh or a hoot and a holler with

[10:26] any of his material. Ah, Buzzfeed. You

[10:29] know, I I basically wrote the listical

[10:31] 10 reasons why having a workplace affair

[10:34] will shatter your marriage and career.

[10:38] Like,

[10:41] subscribe.

[10:43] Yep. Good one, Ned.

[10:46] Like I said, these aren't even really

[10:47] jokes, and he doesn't even deliver them

[10:49] as such. It almost sounds spiteful.

[10:52] Like, it sounds like it's coming from a

[10:53] place of like saltiness about how all of

[10:56] this unfolded.

[10:58] And the way he like does the like,

[11:01] subscribe, like the very animated, you

[11:05] know, components there. It reminds me of

[11:08] like back in college when you would have

[11:10] a friend that's had one too many natty

[11:12] lights and they start trying to like

[11:14] tell jokes but they're really [ __ ] at

[11:16] it. It's led me to stand up though. Um,

[11:19] seems like I fit right in. Thank you

[11:21] very much for having me.

[11:24] This real speedrunning my divorced dad

[11:27] telling jokes narrative.

[11:30] I have been trying to make uh more male

[11:33] friends. That's something I've been

[11:34] working on. Um, it can be hard to make

[11:37] male friends in LA, especially if you

[11:40] don't do things like play pickle ball or

[11:43] have a stable relationship. Is it? I

[11:46] hate LA. It's one of my least favorite

[11:48] places in the country. But this is just

[11:50] like very telling that he's just not a

[11:53] good guy, even outside of the cheating,

[11:55] because there are tons of people who

[11:58] have had affairs that still have like an

[12:01] entire circle of friends. This guy, I'm

[12:04] assuming this is coming from a place of

[12:06] honesty cuz all he does is be honest

[12:07] about being a [ __ ] cheater and a

[12:09] scumbag. So, I'm assuming that he

[12:11] actually is struggling to make male

[12:13] friends. And I'm going to tell you right

[12:15] now, Ned, it's not because you're a

[12:16] cheater. You're just a [ __ ] loser and

[12:19] you're probably no fun to be around. And

[12:20] like I said, the way he interacts with

[12:22] people like in his videos that I've seen

[12:25] here is just really uncomfortable. Like,

[12:29] no one's going to want to be around

[12:30] that. He needs to figure out how to

[12:32] actually exist as a normal person before

[12:36] trying to like put together the puzzle

[12:38] pieces on how to be a influencer again,

[12:42] which I think is just the path he should

[12:44] abandon. He should prioritize just being

[12:47] a guy, like just being a decent person

[12:53] first and foremost, but he's trying to

[12:55] just skip that step and I guess speedrun

[12:59] his way to divorce dad telling jokes to

[13:02] make money off YouTube. And hopefully

[13:05] that ends up with him having friends too

[13:07] somewhere along the way.

[13:10] I uh all a lot of my friends in the

[13:12] group chat, they're they're married and

[13:13] they have kids, so the jokes hit

[13:14] different now. You know, my friends,

[13:16] they're like, "Oh gosh, I would just I

[13:19] would pay any price just to have an hour

[13:22] to myself." And I say, "My friends, a

[13:25] price does exist

[13:28] for a mere 50% of your net worth and

[13:31] crippling loneliness. You may have all

[13:34] the time in the world.

[13:36] Yeah, making friends is tough. Uh,

[13:39] dating as a single parent is tough. You

[13:41] know, it's less tequila soda and more My

[13:45] Little Soda pop.

[13:48] That's a K-pop Demon Hunters reference.

[13:52] It's a children's movie that I've seen

[13:54] approximately 84 times.

[14:00] [ __ ] sucks, man. Not much more to say

[14:03] about it. Every single aspect of this

[14:06] sucks. You suck.

[14:10] >> Um, I did go on a date with someone who

[14:12] is polyamorous lately.

[14:15] Uh, they invited me to meet their

[14:17] boyfriend. Actually, I'm like, whoa,

[14:20] this is huge. Meeting the boyfriend.

[14:23] Finally, here's a way to make male

[14:26] friends without having to play pickle

[14:28] ball.

[14:31] Thank you so much. That was his first

[14:33] actual punchline there. I don't think it

[14:35] was a very good one, but it was an

[14:38] actual joke that he told to close out

[14:41] that routine.

[14:43] So maybe we're just seeing him at the,

[14:46] you know, the genesis of a meteoric rise

[14:50] in the comedy space. You know, maybe

[14:53] he's going to start really finding his

[14:54] stride and turn away or find a way to

[14:57] turn his cheating into like the next

[15:00] gutbuster, like actual sides spplitting

[15:02] comedy routine. Ned Fulmer could be the

[15:05] guy to do it. He's He's got all the

[15:09] ingredients to create the perfect comic.

[15:11] No doubt.

[15:12] >> We did get some fun comments on

[15:14] Instagram once we booked Ned,

[15:18] but we did.

[15:20] We did a lot of people calling for us to

[15:23] punish him and I thought he's doing a

[15:26] 6:00 clown show at the Alleian vault.

[15:32] We're doing it.

[15:33] >> Yeah, him getting insulted does keep

[15:35] making me giggle. I I will say that much

[15:38] at the very least. And like one of the

[15:41] other comics said, it is a very real PSA

[15:44] to not cheat on your wife or be like a

[15:47] [ __ ] scumbag because you could end up

[15:49] like Ned Fulmer, this loser,

[15:52] just cruising around beclouding himself

[15:55] publicly for what I believe to be a

[15:59] desperate attempt to once again have

[16:01] that social media fame that he once did.

[16:05] Again, he starts his routine with

[16:07] reminding people of it. He still keeps

[16:10] posting this kind of [ __ ] And honestly,

[16:13] it does feel like he's even a little bit

[16:14] proud of him being a cheater because

[16:18] he's made it his whole personality, his

[16:20] whole brand. So, it really seems like

[16:23] there is a bit of pride with cheating in

[16:26] in his life. I guess at least that's the

[16:29] perception I take away from this kind of

[16:31] [ __ ] I I have no other explanation for

[16:33] that kind of behavior. It's so [ __ ]

[16:35] odd. He is a loser and he's trying to

[16:40] use that as the springboard to launch

[16:43] his internet career again. It's so

[16:46] fascinating to see. It really is. Uh

[16:49] anyway though,

[16:51] I had to yap about this. How could I

[16:53] resist yapping about some [ __ ] like

[16:55] this? It's about it. See you.