Dead Games Review: Full Breakdown & Transcript

[00:00] A lot of being a Twitch Schumer is riding the current wave. There's a momentum behind a current game that's out, that everybody likes, it's very hot, like Metcha Chameleon right now, for example. And I've done this in the past, played games like Only Up, or a Suika game, and it seems like everybody's playing it until it

[00:15] eventually dies out, as we wait for the next hot game to come out. I had a thought recently, there's a lot of games out there. In fact, there's a lot of dead games out there that are probably really fun to play if somebody just gave them a try. So that's exactly what I did.

[00:27] I got a list of about 10 dead games, and for reference, that's anywhere from zero average players to like a hundred. And I forced my friends to sit down and play them with me. After every game, we give our thumbs up or thumbs down, and today we're going to find out what the diamonds and the

[00:40] rough truly are. And if you want me to play more dead games subscribe, it's a transaction, this is a transaction time, you subscribe, and I give you what you want from me, which is more dead games. A lot of them are really cool actually. This game has sold over a million copies,

[00:53] there are currently, and I'm not exaggerating the number, zero people playing it right now. And what's the code? It's a great question. Explain the name. Mount your friends. I see. Why is his, uh, never mind. What, what, what, what are you guys noticing? His shlong is out.

[01:09] And it reminds me of a movie. You know what I'm saying? It's like everyone's saying free the nip. You know, cleavage is, is, is human. And then a guy just lets this shit hang in all the sun. Oh, I like the skin. Oh, that you do.

[01:29] Oh my god. Oh my gosh, you're cruising. Yeah, control is way easier. Whoa. Whoa. You played this before, Lutty? No, I actually raised the only one who has. Get a process. No, you press. Oh, it's Joe.

[01:49] You're eliminating. Okay, you want to reach out with controllers? I'm down to leave. And yeah, I'm down. I'm down to leave. I don't know how to, uh, oh, yeah, exit to menu. Look at that. That was easy. Create server in, oh, invite friends.

[02:03] Bing. There's only four people. I should just make a public server. Hold up. All right. Other people are going to be able to join. Right. There's zero people playing on. No, but I think I think there's one person watching one of us that's going to open the game. Let me just try it. I'm sure there's literally no one here. It's all you guys. No one gave it.

[02:19] All right. All right. This is for real this time. And I'm going to do a slightly different variation. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. That's a little bit harder. Harder? Oh, we need to go the right way. It's about going to the right. Not about going up.

[02:33] Yeah. There you go. There you go. Okay. I'm ready. You sent that shit. I could be nice. That's evil. What was that evil? What the?

[02:48] That's evil. Boom. No, no, it's nice. I'm not in anyone's way. Uh-huh. Yep. Yep. Swinging around. Nice. Nice. 20 seconds. 20 seconds. 20 seconds. Nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare.

[03:03] 15 seconds. Not talking. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. No, no, no, no. Nice. Such a villain. Oh, he's going to launch.

[03:16] He is nonverbal. That's how you know. I'm thinking about launch. Like so hard. Maybe he's waiting. Oh no. Oh, you have to be connected. Wait, can we restart? Um. It's no. I'll get photo to skip it.

[03:32] One more? Oh no. They're trolling. They are trolling. I press his start by like four times. I vote the skin. Okay. You can't. There's a five minute cool down.

[03:44] There's a five minute cool down right now. This is like the movie I've seen meetspin. I saw the the all grown-up version lemon party What is that lack of lemons? Yeah, yeah, it was actually really disappointing when you go on a theater

[04:08] Do you think that game would have had more sales if it was animals instead of dicks wait what Speak to that. I don't know you're sitting here. Oh like it would cater to more audiences If there wasn't a slinging slong if there wasn't a slinging shot, well, you can do the safer work version

[04:23] My hot take is it would ruin its artistic integrity. I think the fact that they went for swinging penises is a mark in my life at the more. Yes W next game you might have heard of this game

[04:37] It's probably the one on the list you probably all have or maybe have played or heard of it sold like two million copies There's 34 people playing it right now. It's called witch it. It's basically a prop hunt So go you should be hiding right now. You only have 30 seconds

[04:51] 10 seconds y'all I would be coming at him if you're not one already and stop moving. Are you guys ready? Yeah, all right here. I come and I'm looking for witches Squeaks is in the market Laking wait, what the hell barrel?

[05:07] Gigi brownie's caught squeaks. I need your limb Rick now. There's only one way to save your ass You're going to want to cut the grass

[05:23] Wait, is that bars with the fuck is the alarm? I know I see him and it's a very good. Is it good? You're vouching. It's it's I'm vouching. I'm gonna want to cut the grass What is it? Oh?

[05:35] Wait, wait, I just saw this change Stop it run, I know you're still here, bro My chicken to stop with the fucking ghoul on my screen

[05:51] You're around here somewhere Yes, Ray, Ray to stop for your riddle. Okay Look up look down. I can be underground

[06:06] Above and around You'll find me safe in sound Three seconds two, one

[06:22] Here Okay, that's okay, okay, okay, let's do this. Let's do this. Brony. You'll be the you'll be the seeker

[06:34] Let's just do no moving from here. You can't move. Okay. You're riddle, please blood You would hold me to illuminate your way June is the month that they make if you're gay

[06:48] Okay, he's a candle. Okay, Ray

[07:00] Wonder Bob snails name is Gary. I believe I'm based off a song by Katie Perry firework Whoa, that was good. That was so good. I was so good. Wait, that dude. What the hell?

[07:12] I thought when I got one if you're hungry, you might like to share I am quite similar to what some may call a pair If a little poop comes out, they call it a shart, but if you're me, you go near the start

[07:28] bars bars bars bars bars Where you came out of? Okay, okay, so what is by here? Oh? I I got one I got one

[07:42] You can't move I can't run around. No, yeah, fair. I got you. Okay, Ray location based it, please. Okay, I'm limerick

[08:01] Oh, she's so bad. It's tough. Of course, it's good. Nay. They eat me on a beautiful sunny day Okay, I think so okay, right for okay, okay, I'll come back to you squeaks. What do we got? Yes?

[08:17] Careful with stray dogs for their bite at night Look in the sky and it will ignite

[08:29] It's just right My self in the sky with a firework that was epic. I won't lie to you. Okay, so just Ray Ray I'm pretty much told you everything you needed to know

[08:46] Find me I fear She's been eating some hay bells am I near her am I near? Yeah, you're near. Are you dead ass? It's not near the chicken turn around

[08:59] Shit Ray is such a sway Where were you? Three hay bells as a fucking pair due to the race That is finding the best spot and then start a race for more minutes

[09:12] It's so hard to come up with lines. Well congratulations, Ray. You're now the seeker all right Final hiding spots

[09:24] Let her you ready The item most desired when your name is a cuck

[09:38] Unfortunately, I have stuck next to the bald fuck Okay squeaks take it away Magic magic pick a card. I look like I'm on the set of the yard Okay, Leslie go go for it

[09:51] You're Becoming a chair right now, maybe the norm but oh

[10:05] Funny enough I can't even transform She's still away Wait you are I saw you flying. Can she do that I'm getting out of here. You can't move you can't fucking move

[10:18] You are fucking I'm trying to get upright. I'm trying I fell I fucking right Okay, new new location new locations. Are you all on the roof? I am on the roof. Yep. I'll come clean blood It's maybe chairs back to back

[10:34] Go to the spawn and you're right. You'll find coming on the which underneath the light They're they're literally

[10:49] Skip skip skip skip. I hate this game. I hate this game. What a protoplasm eyes mad cuz bad love I actually hate this game Okay, let's go there. Let's try a new map and let's have squeaks to

[11:01] Yes, you're not here. I come I want a riddle from bloody. Okay, okay Um Wow look at you could you get any fatter if you want to find me you got a look for a ladder

[11:16] Bars okay, I want a riddle from hey, you sweat. I found you I want a riddle from Leslie It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining if you look down your pants. You might find me

[11:37] Wait, oh, what? Okay, Ray Some might look it's look it's squeaks and say he might or should be hairier

[11:52] But you might find me between a wall of wood and a barrier I feel I feel I'm pretty essential you might Um

[12:05] Wonder what my credentials Okay, okay, okay, okay, I got I got one for it. I got one for it. Oh, oh I don't need one though

[12:22] Ray thumb up thumb up. Yeah, oh wow. I'm surprised. I hated it. No, no, no, I just I don't have patience I get boring Leslie thumb up thumb down. Okay, boogie

[12:34] Um up Okay, guys, this next game is the largest game that we are going to be playing today their peak player base was 45,000 concurrent players

[12:47] They sold about 5 million copies They're currently sitting at 32 players Okay, let's bring it back. We're bringing this game back from the dead. It's called battle right. Oh my god I shut the I don't own it up. I used to love this game

[13:03] Wait, why are you level 15? Wait Leslie? Why are you watching? I am watching a vod of me playing this game eight years ago right now You're a founder dude. I was I was I'd literally play this game eight years ago

[13:19] Ready up losers ready ready ready ready ready ready ready ready shit. Okay How does this work we just fight each other? I think it's kind of like a MOBA based combat system like QWE some abilities

[13:32] Maybe it's all I choose to skip we haven't even started. I heard MOBA. I'm out. All right. Here we go We stay together separate. Yes, I think I said together. This is awesome. I'm fucking him up. I'm fucking him up

[13:45] And he's so mad about it. I'm fucking him up too. I'm fucking him up too. I want them off. He can't wait. Wait squeeze. Come here squeeze. Come here Wigs. Yeah, um are you alive? Yeah

[13:58] Killer ass. She's one shot Oh I don't know what to play. Maybe we need a swap team. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll play a cookie. I'll play a cookie

[14:12] Oh, Jesus Christ. They fucking my shit up. I'm targeting. I'm targeting let's target one target one. I mean coming coming coming coming I need help. Oh, yeah easy. Oh my god. I'm gonna talk to the target talk You can hold your dad. I died

[14:25] Get him. Get him. Get him. She's one. I get it. I get it. Well, I don't get it Wait, why don't you play it down on my team? Well, we were we were now we will try and now he tries

[14:40] What you know wait, where were you aiming the whole time? How come Leslie is bad when she has the most hours that I know Luda didn't say that I'm gonna pull I'm gonna pull one I'm gonna pull one okay up here Leslie up here Leslie. Yep. Just pay attention to the direction of your

[14:56] You're targeting me. I hate this game. I do not believe it. You're both so tanky. Yeah, we are just

[15:10] I'll swap my character. I'll swap my character Enemy slain. Oh my god. I didn't even get to own Uh-oh I got stuck to back. Oh my god. What is so

[15:26] I don't need slain. No way, dude Enemy slain shit, bro

[15:42] They're trying to keep the orb from us. It's a spacing game. It's a spacing game. No, they're grabbing it Oh I hate how much the priority of the orb in the middle of the game

[15:55] Slain Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, next GG Okay, guys, can we put quickly go down the list? Squeaks them up. Yeah, I'll give you that a thumb up Leslie thumb up thumb down

[16:09] Ray thumb up I'm giving it a thumbs down. I will give it a thumb up It's win equals fun. Am I sure the game honestly is that it's there's too much shit going on Like I've like fucking eight different smells and like modifier. It's like too much

[16:24] If you guys don't know this game has died twice It's not even that old. It's like a two-year-old game. It peaked at 6,000 concurrent players. It has like probably 100,000 to 200,000 Sales the main issue people have with it is it's capped at 60 FPS. It's crashing my whole stream one moment

[16:41] Yeah, no, this is This is crazy. My mouse is locked to a quarter of the screen This is the kind of game that I would take as a sponsor and then say wow the movement's great

[16:53] This game had zero players Like right before I said to get on and now it is exploded to 21 players Which is it's it's the peak for the week. Everybody up ready up ready up. I

[17:07] The thing does pop up. I'm losing my You are people are so bad at this. I hope they don't pop up over the ready button. It's so

[17:19] I'm so fucking excited Yeah What the hell did people pay $20 just the cue dodge just to make us go through this over? No, that's what that was happening here. Why aren't they writing it up?

[17:31] You we have to fight for gigantic rampage now available on steam for $10 We're like gigantic garbage We're in we're in we're in there's literally nothing that can stop us now the devs cute up

[17:43] GG make a different game. I'm gonna be mean Okay, oh wow the sexy 60 FPS actually feels really good I'm getting my shit fuck. I'm getting my shit fucked. I want to deep. I want to deep. I want to deep I don't know what's a really we're going to f we're going to f

[17:57] Yeah, I'm back up running. They're on me. They're on me. They're on me. Yeah, it's just one. He's weak. He's weak. He's low Okay, he's down. He's down. He's down nice nice nice. Okay, we're pushing after all we're pushing after Okay, wait, they locked this we got to go around what the fuck what the fuck happened? I'm like

[18:13] That's Dude, this is fucking awesome Guys, this is actually fucking sick the movement in this game is unrivaled

[18:27] I'm solving characters my mouse is invisible. I shit you not. I cannot see my mouse Where are we going now? Where are we going now? Oh, I can lock on to things. Uh, go back to our spawn our spawn near the guardian

[18:40] Okay, they're on our guardian. There's a killer. I feel what the fuck who's insane, okay? What GG guys? Let me tell you that was some of the most fun I've ever had fuck dude actually well played y'all

[18:53] Here on a background of actually Uh, let's go down the line

[19:07] Thumbs up thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down I've never seen more potential And just so much just everything was wrong

[19:19] Okay, this next game is the newest game. We're gonna play it today. It's less than a year old has like a hundred players online Okay, okay, it's called cheese roll Oh

[19:33] Oh my god, wait, I'm so good at this game. I'm supposed to collect the cheese or what it's first down the hill Wait, what? I grabbed Ray

[19:50] Yes, yeah, why missed get fuck I thought that was me I'm just fucking good at this shit. I guess

[20:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know why I'm the cheese whisper This is actually a game for embrace Spies what the fuck with that I don't make funny. I don't say all this game for Filipino people

[20:18] Impressive not a race Where are people? We have a flag

[20:40] Oh, that was oh my god My first cheese come here Yeah, baby

[20:55] You're fucking your cheese, bro Are we on the moon wait, where is this? I give it an ease up. It looks easy. This gets my Ludwig Gold star

[21:10] Ludwig Gold star applied everyone gets one of those star. Yeah, actually thumb up I could tell that the game was was good. I just was bad at it I give this a solid Thumbs up. I'm gonna play this again

[21:24] and finally I would I would give it a thumbs up for friendship. I think it's a good friend game This next game is our most dead of the day two people have opened this game today And I think one of them was one of my mods again. What's again. What's game? What's game is called?

[21:40] Sky noone all right, y'all free for all free for all those teams Okay, so I believe in this game you die if you fall for map what the fuck how do you get back on you get the right click you have to

[21:54] grapple really quickly I like that my right click is grapple it put it in my left hand oh nice this is awesome this is awesome this is the best game of the day

[22:09] hands down best game of the day it's also the most dead god fuck you a lot of wake fuck that was actually really good that was really good

[22:21] right that's bad man putting up an Owen stop it's hard bye bye a lot is it a league coming under you coming under you coming under me

[22:34] what's this game mode king of the hell fuck my stupid chungus life

[22:51] giving it hot good shape on it's not on your team I know just good shot I'm out of ammo this is the worst case

[23:10] I can't do anything to that fuck you Ludwig Ronnie got my shit last one game point I got her

[23:28] I'm done nice nice good points big points big points huge points huge points yeah yeah we were we were so

[23:44] good I give it thumbs up the biggest thumb I think I give it my goal star what two gold stars is that to go stars I give it a thumbs up but not my goals

[23:58] guys look at the player base for steam right now it's the biggest peak it's for it's us for okay are you guys ready for the final game yeah I'm sad though this was so fun okay I will I appreciate y'all doing this guys this game is called jujutsu

[24:13] kaisen curse clash I would like to thank jujutsu kaisen for sponsoring this part of the stream yeah it's jujutsu kaisen curse clash yeah why'd you pick this one okay it's just a dead game because like all it shit right now I think it's shit when I say it's shit I'm referring to the mix the basketball team okay so

[24:27] say the game is shit your eyes see the game is shit no it's the kaisen curse clashes to it's shit yeah you can't hear you can't hear is that weird you accidentally

[24:44] muted you're muted right now I can hear I can't hear you is it TOS to stream the next game yes okay well how about I how would I just eat some cereal

[24:56] what's the score of the game per chance do you know squeeze no I'm not watching it I'm just eating a cereal okay just to be clear though you shouldn't watch it on stream if you are obviously I'm not do you understand I give a shit about copyright law

[25:09] right my bad it's like really fucking bright in here you know oh it's made by Bandai Namco yeah that's what it's made by bandai Namco yeah yeah actually a lot of bad reviews when it

[25:22] first came out but I think people haven't checked out the game in a while I don't how do I start a fucking game wait where's Ray skip skip just playing for an hour fuck off I gave you so much good content today okay yeah yeah what do you like about it what do you like about it say

[25:41] stuff you like about it I like how it runs so bad that we don't have to actually engage with its mechanics it's like they have a unique voice line depending on you do a RB everyone RB let's

[26:00] skip now it's just watching all the way through maybe like interact with each other it's so cute

[26:12] stop fucking shooting me I got too on me I got too on me broughty I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming I'm peppering boogie with some back shots oh my god the stun locking is so annoying how do you use

[26:30] whoa purple oh my god good shit for honey how do you use your old I have no fucking I would love to lock onto Leslie but I'm on one person he's pressing X over and over and I'm dying oh no you

[26:49] did it no watch this it's gonna be epic what are we watching a whole anime what did you at one

[27:04] HP why did we watch a fucking cutscene of you and then you're at one HP Leslie's at one he's big I can't none of my fucking what is I doing anything yeah for some reason I'm hitting

[27:17] blood away oh I killed up we won that was an experience I'd like to use my gold star you're to use it you're to use your gold star you're to use it you're to use it let's just go down

[27:32] the line speak thumb up thumbs down dragon no I'm not playing I think I may surge in there Leslie thumb up them down that's a thumbs up for me appreciate that right I love crunchy roll and I love

[27:45] jujitsu kaisen so I'm gonna give it a thumbs up there we go three thumbs up pretty good rating all things consider pretty probably worth the $25 you can get with all to me I like the cutscene though the cutscene was sick yeah the best part of it was a cutscene that came as fucking ask for my butt my god

[27:58] response was over and I already got paid that game is fucking horrible holy shit okay everyone's favorite game good on the list I can kick things off I liked jujitsu kaisen curse clash the most