The Best Way To Ask For A Raise (And Get It)

[00:00] If you need to ask for a raise or you want to move up in a position, whatever it is, there is this thought that if you are being honest, then you're hurting yourself.

[00:18] Somehow if you're honest, you're degrading yourself worth it in some way. That's just not true. You need to be able to talk with them about it. What I like to do, really in any sensitive conversation, is what I describe as priming the room.

[00:32] I really primed the conversation, but I'll do it like this, so I'll say, let's say you and I are sitting down, let's say you're the employer, I'm the employee and I sit down, and I'd say, I want to make sure, before I talk with you, I just want to make sure this

[00:46] is a room that I can be vulnerable in. This is a room where I can be transparent. I'm talking about the room, I'm talking about you, very different. It's the same thing, I'm just talking about the room.

[01:00] I want to make sure that I'm in a place that we can speak openly and honestly. What I'm really saying is, I want to make sure I can be honest with you, but I'm talking about the room. But what's the dynamic there by not saying them? I want to make sure that you're not making it as personal.

[01:14] Instead of saying, I want to make sure that I can be truthful with you. You see how all of a sudden it says, I don't feel like you're trustworthy. And does that drop their defenses? Yes. Yeah, or I can say, another way to prime the conversation is, I want to talk to you about this

[01:29] because I know you value honesty. I tell them the value you want them to have. Can I'm coming to you this because I know you always encourage transparency. Now, that needs to be true.

[01:42] You know, if they're a bad boss and they don't, then that's deception in a way. But if there's a value that they know that they value, hey, I'm coming to you with this because I know you're open-minded.

[01:54] You know what, you're going to think, I am open-minded. Why yes, I am transparent. I am honest, yes, I am going to. It's just to develop those characteristics immediately. Exactly. All of a sudden they love to live up to that value. That's brilliant. And so whenever you can prime that conversation,

[02:07] you're going to put yourself in a much better position. Another way to detach it, let's go more into this, the raise, or you want to move up, is you still detach it. So instead of, I want to know from you what I can do about when you're putting it personal

[02:21] for them, then it becomes a personal response. They don't put as a filter of the company or the organization. So here's an example. If you came to me and you just did a presentation and I had said, your presentation could use some

[02:40] work. You could do a lot better at this area, this area. Then it feels very personal that you're going to get the thins of because I just criticize you. But if I said the presentation could benefit from some clarity, rather than you could be

[02:55] clearer. There's a difference. And you can detach the you to your presentation. Same concept. So it would be, I want to know here at the company, here at the organization, what options

[03:08] are available for me to have a higher salary or work my way up and you want to do it in terms of my career, my experience, when you can use the word career, that's reminding who you're talking to is, I don't have to be here and I don't have to stay here.

[03:22] I have a trajectory that's personal to me that is separate from you. And the people that are value you for where you're wanting to go will understand that and they want you to keep your career here. So if you can detach from the you language and save things of, I'm looking for what

[03:37] kind of opportunities are here at this company, here at this organization, rather than what you have available, what you can do. Can you pay me more? Right. By the way, I want to interject, that's brilliant because a lot of leaders don't have the authority

[03:50] to do the thing that you're wanting anyway. Never. Rarely. Rarely. And so they're going to, they're going to have to take that up. And I love that advice because that actually makes them a bit more of an advocate for you. As opposed to if you do what you said not to do and it's all this use stuff, they know

[04:05] they're limited, so therefore they're going to shut it down because they don't want to seem limited. Yeah, absolutely. And here's the key. This is probably the number one thing. As you ask them what they would do because most likely they've already been in your position.

[04:18] That's right. I'm curious. What would you do if you were wanting to earn a higher salary here? Love that. And oh my goodness. It's like everybody's favorite thing besides their name is their opinion. Yeah.

[04:30] Absolutely. And they love talking about themselves. Yeah. And so if, oh, well, if I were you, I would do. And then they want to, you know, or you can use it as a storytelling experience. How did you get to your position? How did you, you know, what were some things that I can learn?

[04:43] It's the whole, have something to learn, have something to prove, become the student, let them be the teacher in that conversation. And all of a sudden they'll give you the roadmap for exactly how to do it.

[04:55] Wow. But you can't expect that I want a higher salary and you only have one conversation. You're going to walk out of there with a higher salary. Yeah. That's right. And you can't see it before you get that, that harvest. That's brilliant too because that, if we look at it that way, then that conversation isn't

[05:11] so supercharged. Exactly. And they already know what to expect because like, just what you said, which is a great point, that leaders that most often don't have that ability, even if they are in charge, say, okay, I got to look at the finances.

[05:24] I got to look at the books. What can we afford? Can we do we have room for this? Can we have to do this? It's not just an immediate yes because what they'll do is they'll resent you for it for putting them in that position. A hundred percent. Yeah.

[05:36] Oh, now you're threatening me. Now it's, now you're giving me no choice. It may be look powerless. Exactly. Because a lot of times they're hanging on to power. Yeah. And they're not going to like that because they feel like you put them in a, in a trap you left them with no position. It's either you walk out the door or you need more money instead of having, I need to plan

[05:51] a seed right now and that's, I'm looking at just explaining my career and what opportunities there are here at this company. What would you do if, in the next six months, you're looking at increasing your salary?

[06:03] I mean, and they're going to give you that roadmap and you'll be very clear, is there a path there or not? Yeah.