TRG EXPERIENCE - IVANILDA CHAVES

[00:01] start something you're probably very used to, okay? I'm going to ask you to close used to, okay? I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and

[00:15] [Music] breathe. What was it that I saw, that movie, that story, and actually I have many worst and actually I have many worst moments, I'm going to choose one because I

[00:30] think it's the one that impacted me the most, which was when my father which was when my father got sick. I was 8 years old and my father was

[00:42] got sick. I was 8 years old and my father was very healthy, and suddenly I was very attached to him. I'm the youngest daughter of nine siblings, eight siblings, so... siblings, eight siblings, so... uh, I was very attached to my father, more

[00:56] attached to my father because my father was very strict, my mother was very strict, and my father was more easygoing with me. Uh, and my vision of my father was always that of a caring, attentive father

[01:14] who gave me protection. And then, at 8 years old, my father got sick. He started feeling very strong pains, and about a month passed. Uh,

[01:28] a month passed. Uh, we lived in the countryside, in the interior of Minas Gerais, in a city called Aricanduva, and my father... Aricanduva, and my father... ah, my mother's family went to

[01:41] Aricanduva and brought my father back. "We went to Belo Horizonte because in the nearest town, Capelinha, there weren't enough doctors to take care of him, and we enough doctors to take care of him, and we were very poor. My uncle... Oh, and

[01:55] several people came in a Volkswagen Beetle, I don't remember exactly, but what hurt me the most was waking up in the middle of the night to my father screaming in pain. For many years, I

[02:10] pain. For many years, I couldn't talk about it without couldn't talk about it without choking up and crying, and that was one of those moments, you know, there were many... that was the hardest for me.

[02:25] So, my father... I would wake up at 4 in the morning to him screaming in morning to him screaming in pain, and several times I woke up at 4 pain, and several times I woke up at 4 in the morning even as an adult, but I never

[02:39] cared that it was just that. Then my father came to Belo Horizonte for treatment and never came back, so I didn't have a goodbye to my father

[02:55] [Music]. And for many years I couldn't And for many years I couldn't talk about it, and TRG helped me to be talk about it, and TRG helped me to be able to look at this story today

[03:08] and see it as just the story of a girl, a sad story that still brings me sadness, but it doesn't bring me pain. So, for me, I found

[03:23] TRG looking for help for depression I had, and I've always been a very cheerful person." Despite this sad story, I always tried to be

[03:36] cheerful and upbeat. I was never a downcast person, so I worked in a place where nobody even knew I had depression because I was always fine. I was sometimes kind of angry,

[03:54] but I was always trying to smile, to be cheerful, to help people. I went to a psychologist who helped me, but then I noticed it coming back. And then Jair appeared with

[04:13] that video, and I always helped people everywhere I worked, and this video appeared, and I worked, and this video appeared, and I got curious and decided to take the

[04:27] mini-course. In the mini-course, he told us to think about a moment to think about a moment that was difficult for us,

[04:42] and if it was a very difficult moment, to try to visualize it on a screen. In the countryside where we lived, there was a horizon right in front of my window, so I imagined myself in that horizon, looking at the scene of

[05:00] my father's illness. I did it several times. He said, "Do it until you feel, uh, feel that it's not hurting you anymore." I did it, and to my surprise, it anymore." I did it, and to my surprise, it really did. That scene made me feel

[05:16] really did. That scene made me feel lighter, and I decided to take the lighter, and I decided to take the TRG course. I thought, "Oh, I'll do it, right? Even if I do TRG course. I thought, "Oh, I'll do it, right? Even if I do n't want to be a professional, because I

[05:30] have a degree in accounting, which is totally different, I could at least solve my problem." So I took the course thinking about solving my

[05:43] problem because I thought, "Well, I'll pay for a therapy session, and with the money I 'll spend on about 10 sessions, I can pay for the course." So I'll take the course, and then I'll be course." So I'll take the course, and then I'll be entitled to the angel. I took the course, and today

[05:59] I see many people. It was a moment when I wasn't at my I wasn't at my peak of depression or sadness. It was a moment when I realized that everything I thought I had

[06:14] worked on with psychology was returning. And then I said, "Well, I'll look for something different, right?" But I

[06:27] right?" But I was emotional, I seemed to be fine. Then I realized how much I wasn't, I was stuck. I

[06:41] accepted earning little even though I had potential, and not to brag, but I 'm an intelligent person, I have a lot of... I always try to learn about

[06:53] things, and even though I had potential, I felt stuck. felt stuck. so I worked a lot and earned very

[07:08] little, and for me, everything was fine; I was being well well paid. So I diminished myself as a paid. So I diminished myself as a person, and then I realized that besides

[07:21] this issue with my father, there were other scarcity blocks, other blocks of feeling diminished.

[07:35] difficulty; people highly value those who have money, and those who do highly value those who have money, and those who do n't, you're not valued. So I grew up with this block of devaluation, and TRG helped me

[07:51] devaluation, and TRG helped me understand that I have value, and that if I don't value myself, no one else will. So I else will. So I resolved not only the issue with my father, which

[08:06] was one of the most difficult moments of my life— difficult moments of my life— not having a proper goodbye to him—but not having a proper goodbye to him—but

[08:23] In adulthood, I thought it was already resolved. I resolved another issue, which is recording videos, speaking in front of a

[08:36] speaking in front of a camera. For me, that was something very difficult, very difficult indeed, to the point of stuttering, of not wanting to... I didn't want to say anything about what I wanted to say, but today I can already record

[08:53] but today I can already record videos, not for work—I have many referrals, so I don't have much need to record videos to sell—but I wanted to record them to show my clients that it's possible to

[09:08] overcome a block, and one of those blocks was this. That's why I wanted to come here and give this testimonial, because I'm living proof that TRG works. How do you feel today?

[09:24] Today I feel like I've never felt in my life. Today I feel fulfilled as a professional, I feel valued as a

[09:36] professional, and I understand the value I have more than people sometimes have more than people sometimes see in me. I see myself as very valuable, I see myself as great, despite my

[09:51] small size. I see myself as a size. I see myself as a great person, I see myself as someone who great person, I see myself as someone who lived in the countryside, the only

[10:03] lived in the countryside, the only thing I had was a 10-minute walk to my aunt's house. So I lived in a place surrounded by mountains where I couldn't be

[10:15] by mountains where I couldn't be seen, and today I live here in Belo Horizonte. I've lived in Belo Horizonte for 30 years. It was one of my blocks; I didn't like to talk about... Where I came from, because

[10:29] for me, people wouldn't value me, they wouldn't appreciate me. If I said I came from the If I said I came from the countryside, and today I talk about it countryside, and today I talk about it very naturally, I lived in the

[10:43] countryside, I carried buckets of water on my head, there was no running water in the house, so if you wanted to drink quality water you had to fetch it in a bucket, and for me it's very natural to talk about this. And

[10:59] if someone listens to me, some friends who studied with me from fifth to eighth grade, many never knew this because I was ashamed, and today for me it's natural, it's part of my history, and

[11:14] I'm even proud of it. And I have no doubt that therapy helped me feel proud of my history and proud of

[11:28] myself, and understand how much my story can impact the lives of others who perhaps live what I live today, what I lived in the past, being ashamed of their history, not wanting to talk about their fears, not even knowing, right? In

[11:45] fact, I didn't even know I had blockages. I discovered them after I started therapy, when I realized realized I was very afraid of being evaluated.

[12:00] So I remember one time I went to do... I took a test for a company, and I didn't pass the test with the psychologist because she said I wasn't capable of she said I wasn't capable of handling a lot of

[12:17] pressure. But I didn't know why; I thought it was due to job because of inability, but no, I didn't get the job because I had so much

[12:29] get the job because I had so much emotional pain that it generated a fear of being evaluated, a fear of perhaps being

[12:41] rejected. ability; it was about a

[12:57] life story. Today I'm a therapist, I see many people, I help many many people, and I can see people

[13:11] people, and I can see people in a different way, with less judgment. So when I see someone very nervous, I don't say, "Wow, what an ignorant person," I think, "Wow, what could I do to help this

[13:25] could I do to help this ignorant person?" Behind that ignorance, there's often a story of a person who was raised with a lot of rigor, a person who was greatly

[13:40] tormented as a child, a person who may have been abused. So that anger they carry is the anger of

[13:52] an adult who abused them when they were a child. So behind an arrogant person, there's often a story. My life was sad, so today I can see

[14:07] sad, so today I can see people in a lighter way, taking a response, a bad response, as something personal, which it isn't. The

[14:22] other day I had an experience at the gas station, and the guy told me to stop at one pump. I didn't realize it, I stopped at

[14:34] another one. He looked at me, started cursing and arguing. I asked him to stop at the asked him to stop at the other one, I looked at him and said other one, I looked at him and said everything was fine. Then he calmed down and I said, "

[14:48] everything was fine. Then he calmed down and I said, " asking me to stop at the other pump, but everything is fine with you." So what I was supposed to take lightly, that ignorant guy, arguing and

[15:07] cursing, turned into something light. It wasn't about me, it was something he was going through. detail changes everything. If you can

[15:22] everything. If you can imagine Jair sitting here with him, what would you say to him? I would say that he helped me transform my

[15:39] that he helped me transform my life. I was a 46-year-old woman when I met TRG three years ago, without expectations,

[15:53] 3,000, very happy with the... I was earning 3,000, thinking I was being well paid. I was someone who no longer believed I could have a

[16:05] better quality of life, be able to travel, be able to able to provide my daughter with a more peaceful life than I had. I

[16:18] had. I was a person without expectations, already was a person without expectations, already expecting to retire with a salary of 2,000, because earning three doesn't even make it as much as

[16:32] two. And today, I'm a woman who will be 50 years old in July, and I feel like I'm 20,

[16:45] starting my career, a career that I have no doubt will be successful. And I owe that to Jair for that video, right? Have you ever thought about being a

[16:59] thought about being a psychologist? Ironically, everywhere psychologist? Ironically, everywhere I worked, people joked that I was a psychologist because clients would confide in me on the bus, at the bus stop.

[17:13] And today I've turned it into a profession, and I have no doubt that I 'm a

[17:26] 'm a successful professional. If I could go back in time and talk to Ivanil from the past, what would I tell

[17:40] her? I would tell her to live life with... I feel she deserves. I haven't reached that life yet, I'm just

[17:55] deserves. I haven't reached that life yet, I'm just starting to be successful, but I have no doubt that TRG will bring me that, it's already providing it. So today I earn three

[18:07] times what I used to earn working all day. Today I have time to have lunch with my daughter every day. I have time to go for a

[18:19] walk with her at the mall on a Friday afternoon, have lunch, lunch, and without TRG I wouldn't be any of that. and without TRG I wouldn't be any of that. I would be working from 8 am to 7 pm, often

[18:33] until 8 pm, and not being valued for it, and thinking it was normal. Now I feel like a 20-year-old girl at 50.