Overcoming Trauma and Finding Purpose — Full Transcript & Summary

[00:03] group as me progressing, studying, graduating, having careers, having dreams, having plans, and I didn't have any of that. I didn't have dreams, I didn't have plans, I did

[00:16] I didn't have dreams, I didn't have plans, I did n't have a simple family, a large family where there were many problems, a lot of

[00:32] difficulties. I was born a somewhat sickly child, I was born a somewhat sickly child, and I was kind of strange because I didn't like to socialize. I had difficulty eating certain foods.

[00:49] At that time, nobody knew what autism was or anything like that. And as I autism was or anything like that. And as I grew up, I went through several abuses,

[01:01] grew up, I went through several abuses, both by men and women. So it was a very heavy, very very heavy, very difficult childhood in that respect, and each time I

[01:15] closed myself off more. Then came pre-adolescence, adolescence, and the abuses continued. And since we emanate what's

[01:27] inside us, as I was full of pain related to the as I was full of pain related to the abuse, the energy, the energy I generated around me, was that I was an easy person, let's say,

[01:43] in popular language, and I never was. So that bad energy, that pain inside me because of the abuse, led to a

[01:57] because of the abuse, led to a bad reputation. Right, and that attracted more and bad reputation. Right, and that attracted more and more abuse, so I didn't receive respect from either men or women,

[02:12] women, and that completely paralyzed me. Later, I had children. I got married, had children, and when my children were born, I saw that they were different too.

[02:28] So then I understood that they were continuing what I already was, and over time we discovered that they were autistic. So I began to understand what I was, what I really was. I was inhibited in many

[02:45] really was. I was inhibited in many things, but I had a very high intelligence in many other areas. I was a super creative person; I had a world inside me of creativity, intelligence, and

[02:59] creativity, intelligence, and understanding of things. At the same time, I would say something very wise to someone, and the person would be astonished, " My God, where did that come from?" At the same time, I would ask the most

[03:13] idiotic question someone could ask about anything. inhibited. So, in my adolescence, I saw the people who

[03:29] lived in the same group as me progressing, studying, graduating, having careers, having dreams, having plans, and I didn't have any. I didn't have dreams. I

[03:41] had a plan, but I didn't have a life. I only counted on the next day. I thought, "Until tomorrow, who knows, maybe I won't be here anymore." So, I tried to commit suicide several times.

[03:54] My family has no idea how many times I did it, how I did it. So, I was an island, you know? People didn't participate

[04:07] in my suffering. They didn't get inside my suffering. They looked from inside my suffering. They looked from afar, thought I was strange, judged me, but couldn't see what was really happening

[04:21] to me. Then, at the beginning, before the pandemic, I met a therapist who lived in the neighborhood where I lived. Seeing

[04:34] my son's need for therapy, I told her she would see my son, and I told her she would see my son, and she started seeing him. In the second session, I was like, "I don't have words to say what I saw

[04:48] happen in my son's life." I was very enthusiastic because I saw that this therapy really worked. It wasn't like the others we had already been to—many other therapies, both me and my

[05:02] children—and I felt the urge to do it too. I said, "Who knows, maybe now I can get rid of what weighs me down, which I don't even know what it is." I had no idea what was weighing on my shoulders, my mind, my heart. I

[05:19] thought I had already overcome all of that because, after all, we believe in God. After all, we have faith. After all, we receive prayers from so many people, right? So I thought, no, I've already overcome all of that, but the weight wouldn't go away, the blockage wouldn't go

[05:38] away. And when I started therapy with this TRG therapist, the first session was wonderful because scenes came to mind that I never

[05:55] imagined bothered me, and there was a kind of unlocking, you know? In those first sessions, there was a complete unlocking. And I'll summarize one of the first things that happened was that I started drinking water again. I used to

[06:12] not drink water; sometimes I would get by with a small 250ml glass a a small 250ml glass a day. So, when I was 29 years old, I even had bladder atrophy. It atrophied, it became like a deflated,

[06:26] atrophied, it became like a deflated, rigid ball, you know? From not drinking water for so long, I had kidney stones, and every time I drank water, it would get stuck here. " How come it won't go down? It won't go down?" And I

[06:42] had a lot of vomiting since I was a child, so I vomited almost every day. I vomited almost every day. I would eat, drink water, and vomit, you know? very skinny. And in that specific session,

[06:58] skinny. And in that specific session, know it was related—it was a scene I experienced with my mother when I was a baby, during a time when I had measles. The whole

[07:15] scene came up during therapy, and I saw my mother shaking me, her distress, you know, because I was vomiting so much, and she was shaking me and saying, "You ca

[07:28] n't drink water, you can't drink water or you'll vomit!" And drink water or you'll vomit!" And that froze me up. So what stayed in my subconscious was, "You can't drink water because if you drink water

[07:42] you'll vomit." And on that day of therapy, vomit." And on that day of therapy, when I managed to free myself, when when I managed to free myself, when that pain left with all that weight,

[07:56] the first thing I did was feel very thirsty, a great desire to drink water. I left where I was, went to the kitchen, and drank two glasses of water in a row because I found it very funny because it went down easily and didn't cause constipation. I was

[08:13] drinking, then I grabbed another glass and drank again, and I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't understand how my throat had been unblocked. I even thought I had some kind of throat problem, some malformation; that's what I

[08:27] before. That was one of the things that impacted me a lot. When I felt that, it was when I got

[08:40] rid of the blockage because when I experienced the first abuse, when I was 2 years old, I didn't remember suffering that abuse at age 2. When it happened, the words the person

[08:55] happened, the words the person used to offend me, those words were etched in my life: " You are nothing, you are nobody, it's no use trying, it's no use wanting to do anything because you won't

[09:10] succeed." Those words blocked me. So I couldn't study, I couldn't finish anything. Everything I started would stop; I couldn't continue, even though I had a great thirst for knowledge and

[09:27] thirst for knowledge and study. And when that session passed, when I managed to unblock, I saw my whole life marked by that sentence: "You can't do anything." And when that sentence

[09:43] fell away, it no longer made sense in my life. I felt a desire... It was enormous to life. I felt a desire... It was enormous to have to study and complete the course to graduate, and that's what I did. I started studying, I studied 13

[09:58] hours a day, that's how hungry I was, you know? And it was right in the first year of the hungry I was, you know? And it was right in the first year of the pandemic, and I graduated. And since then I have n't stopped helping people, people from all walks of life, and

[10:14] people from all walks of life, and today I understand what I was born to be, today I understand what I was born to be, I was born to be a therapist, you know? And I imagine that if I had had a normal life without all the afflictions I

[10:27] went through, I probably would have gone down this same path, you know? Because that's what's in my heart, it's the ease I have, I have an ease in getting to know people, in discerning who they are, and I'm able to understand what they

[10:43] 're trying to express. Maybe even because I'm a mother of children with special needs and I live with my children and try to understand them even when they can't when they can't express themselves. How do you feel today?

[10:57] Today I feel fulfilled. I don't stop studying. I finished a master therapist course, and when Professor Jair talked about many other courses he has ahead, I can't wait

[11:10] has ahead, I can't wait to continue. So, even though I'm older today, I have a new career, which I've been working on for a year and a bit, I've been working on for a year and a bit, and I don't plan on

[11:25] stopping. Thank God, today I talk about all this, and it doesn't hurt me at all. about all this, and it doesn't hurt me at all. I look back, and nothing hurts anymore; there's I look back, and nothing hurts anymore; there's no more pain, only the memory,

[11:40] but not the pain. If you could imagine Jair sitting here in my place, what would you say, Professor? One day you used the

[11:57] example of the example of the Parable of the Wedding Feast, and you said that the man went out to look for ordinary people for his wedding. So he went to the valleys,

[12:13] looking for all kinds of people, and many people came to the wedding feast. And I am one of those people you found in the valley, a person who was on the margins of everyone, a person who had nothing, couldn't do anything,

[12:30] a person who had no education, a person who didn't believe in themselves. So I am one of those people themselves. So I am one of those people you rescued from the valleys so that I could have

[12:45] you rescued from the valleys so that I could have a profession, a career, a mission, and I will never abandon my mission. What I love most is helping

[12:57] people and seeing the results of what TRG does in their lives.