Video WtQ64nSbdY4

[00:01] community college where my friend is a teacher. We're going to learn about a concept that will help you learn more about yourself. If you watch this video, things. Because years ago, my buddy Dalon taught me this concept. It's

[00:16] called the Jiari window. And I cannot quit thinking about it. Let's go meet to talk about. He does know I'm filming, but he doesn't know why. So, let's go but he doesn't know why. So, let's go get smarter every day.

[00:30] get smarter every day. >> [music] >> You're doing well. How are you, man? Is this what you Is this how you dress when

[00:43] >> Absolutely. >> Ah, that's cool, man. This is Dalon Woodall. We're buddies. And uh can I cut the uh Can I shut the door here? going to talk about? >> I have no idea what we're going to talk

[00:55] >> What are you teaching today? So, this is a New Testament survey class. And so, we're talking now about uh the book of Acts and the [clears throat] development of uh the Christian faith as a distinct faith tradition that comes out of the

[01:09] something distinct and different. >> I can tell you're different. You're in professor mode. [laughter] >> I can You're totally in professor mode. >> I have never met Professor Dalen. I know my buddy Dalon. [laughter]

[01:23] amazing. Okay, great. >> This is my buddy, Reverend Dalon Woodall. Soon, you're a professor basically right now. That's my title for know what it is. [laughter] >> Dalon's brilliant years ago, D.

[01:38] >> that I can't get out of my head, and I want to talk to you about it today. >> I don't even know if you remember this, so I'm shooting cold here. Um, >> you told me about this thing called the Johari window.

[01:50] >> Yeah, I do. >> Okay. Are the gears turning right now? >> I I remember where we were when we had that conversation. >> Yeah. I think we were having lunch.

[02:02] >> Okay. >> And our children. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. So, you gave me this mental tool. >> right? >> And it has changed the way I think about

[02:15] >> Yeah. >> And I want to talk to you about it. >> Yeah. I think it does that. >> I I I have read up on it a little bit. >> Okay. But I think that people would benefit from having this framework in

[02:27] >> And I just want to show it to you and I'll get you started with it. here. Come on over. >> It's like pop quiz on the Jihari window. psychologist, right? No, I'm not. >> But you're a reverend.

[02:41] >> And you're incredibly emotionally intelligent. >> And I you you told me this and it it changed me. Will you hand me one of >> Let's go blue. >> Let's go blue. So, we're going to go

[02:53] >> So, the Jihari window, as I understand it, as you taught me, [laughter] >> is a framework for how to think about yourself in the world. >> And so, we'll start here. The first column here,

[03:07] >> Mhm. >> Okay. I'll let you go from here. others. >> So, that'd be here. >> So, that'd be here. >> Yeah. Known to

[03:20] others, right? Uh-huh. So, this is not known to self, >> Just you can just say not self. >> Yeah. >> Uh-huh. >> Uh-huh.

[03:32] >> Right. Yeah, I think that's right. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> right? >> Can you explain it to me?

[03:44] >> Can you explain it to me? >> Yeah. So this quadrant here are things that you know about yourself and that others know about you. >> Okay. >> Right. And so you know you're an

[03:57] engineer. Yeah. >> That will go in this quadrant. You know that you are a content creator and other creator. You know that you're a dad and other people know that you're a dad.

[04:10] believer. >> Yeah. examples. >> Okay. quadrant. >> So another quadrant are things that you

[04:23] >> Okay. >> Right. And so this this could be like >> You know that you're >> you're outing me right here in front of everybody. >> Hypothetically if you had a back injury.

[04:38] Okay. Right. Um but but it could also be emotional things. Yeah. >> So, so secrets. >> Yeah, sure. >> Okay. Secrets and feelings. >> Yeah.

[04:51] >> And these can be things that you're intentionally sort of keeping from others, right? That you don't want them to know, right? Um or things that maybe you recently learned, right, that you you would be willing to share, but

[05:07] come yet, >> right? So this this top quadrant is the >> What do you mean? >> Well, I say that because these are

[05:19] things that you are unaware of and that others know. >> So So the uh the blind spot >> that's a that's the blind spot, right? >> that's a that's the blind spot, right? And the the central implication of the

[05:32] Jihari window, right, is that there are parts and pieces of our personality and identity that are mysteries to us. that we don't have perfect self-nowledge. And I think that was kind of how we we we brought this up in the

[05:46] context of the initial conversation we were having. And we have this incredible uh inclination and we live in a culture, right, that says to us because our wants and needs and desires are so present and so loud, we know ourselves well. But the

[06:01] reality is we are coming to know ourselves as others are coming to know ourselves as others are coming to know us and that we have blind spots. >> Okay. What's the next the next quadrant here?

[06:13] here? >> So, um this quadrant here. that you don't. >> That's just the unknown. >> Yeah. It's the unknown known. That's Rumsfeld. [laughter]

[06:26] >> Unknown. Unknowns. >> Is this going to be a Smarter Every Day? >> Yeah. What do you mean wow? >> I just thought you were doing this for fun. >> No, man. So, [snorts] I found out where

[06:38] the name Jihari comes from. >> Wow. >> It's the two people that came up with it. Joseph Luff and Harrington. >> They just put their two names together. >> Wow.

[06:51] >> That now that that makes me so happy. >> Lon Ingram first talked about the Jihari window in 1955. This is a reprint from 1961. But I want to briefly make sure we understand the pains of the window. We've got four areas, right? The first

[07:05] one, arena. That's the public stuff. We understand that. The Teddy Roosevelt, man in the arena. Right down here, we have this area called the facade. I didn't explain this very well, but what the facade is is it's not so much the

[07:17] lie that you're telling people, but it's the truth you're withholding. Dalon mentioned my back injury. I chose not to tell people about that till Dalon outed me, and I'm outing myself here because I get to control the edit here. But the

[07:29] because you're not ready for people to know or you don't necessarily want certain thing or you have inner feelings and secrets. So the facade is a very interesting area. So it's it's that

[07:42] stuff that you're withholding. So Lu and Ingram called that the avoided or the hidden area. That makes sense. They call this area the blind area which I'm calling the blind spot. That terrifies me cuz the idea of someone knowing

[07:54] something about me that I don't know, I don't know why that just scares me for probably all kinds of self-esteem issues reasons. But but that's that's a scary part there. And then of course we have the mystery down here. So those are the

[08:06] four panes of the Jihari window. Why do you think the Jihari window is is >> I think the Jihari window is valuable because it forces us to confront, you know, the reality that our knowledge of ourselves isn't perfect, right? Um and

[08:19] and it forces us to confront the reality that people will notice things and see >> Yeah. >> Right. Um and and those are essentially and our movement throughout life and throughout the world. Right. We have to

[08:35] be open and available to the reality that we're still learning who we are >> and that others might have insight into who we are that we haven't noticed. >> we have to be open and available to the reality that we have blind spots. That's

[08:49] critically and crucially important. That changes the dynamic of human >> So, do you think ultimately the Jihari window is about relationships or is it uh self-awareness? >> I think it is about self-awareness, but

[09:03] self-awareness directly impacts relationships. So, I think it's really hard to disentangle self-awareness from relationships because having self-awareness directly impacts the health of our relationships. Like, if a

[09:17] person is unaware, right, of what their issues and their flaws are, that's going to manifest itself and and negatively impact their relationships. But if they are aware, right, if they're honest about their flaws and their issues, if

[09:29] they're aware, right, and they're progressively working to resolve them, relationships. No man is an island. We are in community. We are in relationships with people. And the question isn't whether or not we're in

[09:42] relationships with people or society. The question is whether we are in good people in society. >> I see. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I feel things talking about this

[09:54] [laughter] like like when you when you gave me this tool to think about myself. >> I remember seeing your eyes light up. I was speeding past this like you know the Jari window. You're like wait what? >> What's [laughter] that? And then I told

[10:06] conversation became about that and then I thought that was just going to go in the giant pile of other random things I've told you and then you brought it up talked about it with one of your one of your kids and I was like oh you're still

[10:19] thinking about that. [laughter] >> I am dude. I mean like I think that's one of the most beautiful things about our friendship is that uh >> you help me with the blind spots. >> I think I feel like you do.

[10:32] >> Yeah. And so and and so this is what I would like to do at So I'm going to uh say that. >> Oh, I mean it. So dude, this is this is a little scary, but >> so for me in my own relationships, this

[10:47] >> right? >> And so if I have the ability to somehow >> right, >> so that I know more about myself,

[10:59] right? If I can make that area bigger >> ah >> can like jihari window theory now >> if we have the ability to expand what we think we can grow as a person >> right

[11:13] >> right >> and I've read about it so in order to move from the known to self >> and the not known to self the stuff that >> in order to move over here into this area into the blind spot you have to

[11:26] >> yeah you have to have people >> they have to know you. >> And they have to there there has to be enough of a relationship there where you >> Yeah, sure. >> So being vulnerable here. Yeah.

[11:38] >> I would like to ask you. >> Ooh. [laughter] right place. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> What is a blind spot that Dustin Sandland has that you think it would be

[11:53] Sandland has that you think it would be valuable for me to know? So you're in a generation that even even though you're a STEM person, a science person, an engineer, like you come from a generation where like human

[12:06] relationships were much more important, you kind of grew up outside of the internet even though you're you're very much on the internet now, right? Yeah. And so I would say a blind spot would be that you're like highly relational,

[12:19] but you're in a a context where relationships work differently. So relationships work >> and I think how the contemporary culture think that's maybe a blind spot. Does

[12:34] >> Yeah. Yeah. I think like what relationships are like in contemporary culture is like much more transactional, >> right? But this is what happens when you have like the internet and parasocial

[12:46] relationships and people like are not connecting with people in the same way. That explains the loneliness epidemic and this kind of thing. So I think the or like your inclination to build relationships in a certain way is

[12:59] contemporary culture. Does that make sense? relationships effectively. effectively. >> No, I'm I'm saying that your your

[13:11] assumptions for what other people might be looking for in relationships um are different than maybe what they're actually looking for in relationships. >> Oh, okay. Okay. So, does that make

[13:23] >> Yeah. >> Okay. So, sometimes I miss relational. So, I miss relationally. Okay. That's I'm going to have to think about that >> for a while, >> the rest of my life. [laughter]

[13:35] Don. >> Um I would say that >> and dude, just like I might not be ready to publish this on the video. >> Yeah, sure. To >> I mean like use the use the relationship

[13:48] capital we have and just and just tell me what are my blind spots. Um, you're a me what are my blind spots. Um, you're a white guy and what that means is your your view of the world isn't necessarily going to naturally

[14:01] um relate and connect with people that come from a context different than >> So, like you don't know what it feels like to be pulled over by the cops as a >> Yeah. >> And so, when I tell you a story about me

[14:13] getting pulled over by the the police or whatever, you you're going to perceive that differently because you're you're you're a white guy. Not that there's >> you're saying I may see the injustice and be irritated by it, but I still

[14:25] >> what it's what it's like. Yeah, for sure. And so your um I think maybe your sure. And so your um I think maybe your ability to perceive needs to be aided by

[14:37] relationships because it has been shaped by the kind of life that you have have have had. So that's like a cultural, you know, kind of blind spot. understand. Sure. >> Because that's the point of the

[14:52] >> Sure. >> So, I'm going to say I will take that >> Yeah. >> Okay. I think I think this relationship helps in that area. >> Well, and I think when we

[15:05] are wanting to develop or when we need to develop the ability to perceive, we need help. We need scaffolding. You see what I'm saying? We have to be again just for the purpose of the exercise available to the reality that we have

[15:18] people that we trust, right? That can help us bring those kinds of things to >> what else you got? >> Um,

[15:30] let's see. I think you're I think a blind spot that you have [snorts] is this is you're like a famous person on

[15:45] this is you're like a famous person on the internet, you know? And so like that impacts the way people like approach you, you know what this all the time, like when we're out eating and stuff and people come up to

[15:58] Sandlin?" You know what I mean? um you you do a really good job of like relationships um and those interactions with people, but I think that like

[16:10] >> I'm holding my breath. [laughter] >> Go ahead. >> No, I think that I think you're blind to how much >> Okay. >> You know what I mean? Like just think

[16:23] about this for a second. Like we live in a moment that's being called the the >> Yeah. >> Where people feel less connected to people in their real life than ever

[16:38] before. But when me and you are out eating lunch, people are willing to cross this enormous social barrier to just come and say

[16:50] hello. That's huge. And that it never like registers to you how big of a sacrifice someone's making walking across a restaurant to talk to a time. >> Shoot, dude. I

[17:03] have across. >> Yeah. I mean, it's it's a huge chasm. >> right? >> It's never been harder in human history than it is right now for a person to

[17:17] walk up to a stranger. That's what all of the sociologists and psychologists are saying. That's what all the data is pointing in that direction. And it happens to you all the time. >> And I don't understand that.

[17:29] >> And you don't understand how big of a deal that is for people. And like that's why we go right back to our conversation. And I'm just like I'm like you don't quite realize what just happened here. That's a that's a person

[17:43] who maybe doesn't have any deep or meaningful relationships with you, but restaurant. I think I think that's maybe something you're you're blind to is how >> This is making me want to vomit. >> What [laughter] What do I write here?

[17:59] >> Um ability to influence. >> Okay. Influence. Okay. >> So, in order to go here, you have to have the relationship.

[18:11] >> Uh-huh. >> into the things that other people don't >> That's right. Yeah. Sure. >> So, you have to like you [snorts] have to be able to open up in order to go into this quadrant.

[18:25] >> That's right. Yeah. >> And the last thing I would say is I found personally that in order to go into the unknown unknown, right, >> not known to self, not known to others, >> like you you ask questions to get here,

[18:38] >> right? You're just totally thinking about this as an engineer. This is so got a system." >> Yeah, [laughter] >> I am. I think here for me personally, the only way to get to expand my

[18:51] >> Of the consciousness. >> The only way to do that for me is is >> Yeah. And I and I think that >> or Yeah. [snorts] For me, like God knows these these things. And I and and so again the the the root system of this

[19:09] right is the acknowledgment that there are things about ourselves that we don't are things about ourselves that we don't know. But faith says God knows all know. But faith says God knows all things. Faith says that God knows and

[19:26] understands the things about me right that I don't know or understand. And so the only way to make progress in my life, in my growth, in my relationships, in my understanding of the world, in my ability and capacity to be a positive

[19:41] and productive person is by getting in touch through prayer, through spiritual touch through prayer, through spiritual formation with God who has the answers that no one else has. And that's what faith is.

[19:55] >> Okay. Dalon and I were talking about expanding this arena, this known area about yourself. And we we talked about two ways you can do that. You can expand two ways you can do that. You can expand down into the facade area by disclosing

[20:10] things to other people. You can expand over into the blind spot area by asking for feedback from people that know things about you. I mentioned that one way I explore this unknown down here is through prayer because that's the the

[20:23] know about myself. But maybe you're not a person of faith. And um maybe even if you are a person of faith, another way you could expand down into this unknown area is just by being in situations that you weren't expecting or um and you see

[20:39] how you react. Whenever I explore and I'm a curious person, I like to be in places and areas that I don't know a lot of things about and ask questions. I end how I react to that situation. Oh, that's very interesting. So, I think

[20:54] unknown that we didn't mention here, but I I just want to make sure that um this doesn't sound like a hitting you over the head with a faith type video. I think is fascinating and there are many ways to get down into the area of the

[21:07] unknown or the mystery about yourself. This episode of Smarter Everyday is sponsored by Kiwi Co. which is awesome. Basically, it's a kit [music] that gets sent to your house. It's a subscription and these boxes come in [music] and you

[21:21] there's all kinds of fun stuff that you get to build together. Let's build a bottle rocket blaster together. After this, we will slow-mo a rocket, and out of the nozzle. I'm assuming it's laminer, but we're going to slow-mo it.

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[22:05] I didn't see a little light, but I wonder if I can shoot the camera. [laughter] Okay, cool. Yeah, I think we're ready. I've got a computer set up here in the garage controlling two high-speed

[22:21] cameras. And I want to shoot this rocket three times. I'm going to fire it first with just air. I saw a vapor cloud in here earlier. I want to see if we can see it. I want to fire [music] it second with water. That provides momentum going

[22:33] ultimately makes rockets go. [music] And then I'm going to use the citric acid and baking soda that they give us in the kit. So, let's see what we can see. All right. Air first. Should be pressurizing.

[22:45] And it's There was a cloud. I saw it. Let's go There was a cloud. I saw it. Let's go look at the slow-mo.

[23:03] this time we should have water in the rocket for momentum. Oh, this thing's rocket for momentum. Oh, this thing's going to go, man. [laughter] [music] Oh my goodness.

[23:23] [laughter] Oh, that was great. Oh, that was great. [music]

[23:40] of laminer flow, but not. But you can see that it's doing [music] the thing. pushing the rocket up. It's a momentum balance. That's how rockets work. And instructions say we're supposed to add citric acid and baking soda to this. I

[23:55] think it'll make it more bubbly. [music] Let's see what happens. Baking soda. Citric acid. All right, here we go. Oh, yeah. So, a lot of the gas is coming yeah. So, a lot of the gas is coming from [music] that chemical reaction now.

[24:12] Oh. [laughter] Oh, man. Okay.

[24:32] actual science. The one on the left is going slow because there's too much [music] the right filled the bottle up with air faster and the cork popped. So, fraction [music] and it's accelerating faster. This is actual science and

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[25:27] sponsor. Big fan of Kiwi Co. you know, you've really helped me refined my you've really helped me refined my relationship with this concept because when it was introduced to me, my initial inclination was to think that it was

[25:42] just about self-awareness, right? But again, no man is an island. You know, again, no man is an island. You know, our self-awareness, ironically, isn't just about ourselves. very little that we do in life is just about oursel.

[25:59] want you to meet somebody. Please, please, please, please, please. >> Okay. So, your students are here. So, I should let you go. Last thing. This is my my my brother, Reverend Dalen Woodall. Um, working on his PhD. So, are

[26:13] Woodall? Are you Dr. Reverend? >> Reverend goes first. Yeah. >> Oh, does it really? Okay. So, so uh if people want to learn more about or just website? >> Yes. Dalenwoodall.com.

[26:26] students here. Dalenwoodall.com. And you have a Substack and all that kind of there. And Yep. >> Thank you, man. >> for sure. >> Bye. Okay. Dalen is in there teaching

[26:38] now, but um I want to briefly talk about uh the Jiari window. It's been valuable to me because I want to get better at relationships. I think they are valuable. I think they are more valuable than material possessions. They're very

[26:54] important. Um, it's really interesting when they're authentic and real. And, um, I'm scared of my blind spots. [laughter] I don't know why. Is it ego? Is it that I am scared of looking dumb? Or I'm I'm

[27:10] scared of like why why am I scared of my blind spots? I am. I very much am scared blind spots? I am. I very much am scared of my blind spots. I don't know why, but uh I think sometimes if people love me enough to tell me what those blind spots

[27:24] are, and often those are hard conversations, I can grow. And often when I have real conversations with people that I'm close to, and I confess things to them, and I reveal things and disclose things, I think I can also

[27:39] grow. So, I think these conversations are important because they're going to make us better. There's different ways that can happen. Um, in the context of a that can happen. Um, in the context of a safe relationship, but also, uh, yeah,

[27:53] safe relationship, but also, uh, yeah, therapy is a thing. Yeah, counseling. I lot here to unpack. I don't know where this lands for you, but I do want to explore this because I think the sense of who we are and the self-awareness is

[28:07] valuable. So, anyway, I love people. I love you. Thank you for watching Smarter Every Day. Dalen's right about the parasocial thing. Don't right about the parasocial thing. Don't know what to do with that. Um, but yeah,

[28:21] thanks for taking the time to watch. Uh, I'm a guy like in real life. I'm not know what to do with that that Don told me about, but I think it is a thing that me about, but I think it is a thing that we uh I need to think about. So, anyway,

[28:37] that's it. Um, even now I I there's people walking around and I I feel weird because [laughter] of how I'm making them feel. I'm not self-aware. All right. Anyway, that's it. I'm Destin. Um, yeah.