How the SAS Really Works: An Insider's Account

[00:00] I'm a Krishna Thapa. I am an ex-Gurkha, mountaineer  and served for almost 20 years with the SAS.   And this is everything I'm authorized to tell you. 

[00:13] Over my career I managed to work with Delta Force,  SEAL team and units around the world you know,   Norwegian, Canadian, Australian... but  you know SAS, we are the only unit in  

[00:28] the world who can operate from desert  to jungle to mountain and sky or water.

[00:44] The motto of SAS is Who Dares Wins. It embodies  the courage, commitment and dedication.  So my SAS  career began from '03. This is where the moment actually I wanted to dedicate it to my officer  

[01:03] So he called me one day and said Kris we're going to send the first Gurka trials from   the Royal Gurkha rifles for the SAS selection.  And you are one of them and we've been sent  

[01:16] uh maybe about 30 or 40 of us from there.  Two of us managed to pass in the first time.   The first stage is what we call is the aptitude  uh selection. The you know basic test of your  

[01:31] mental and your basic navigation. And once you  have that aptitude and document everything pass   then this is where the real selection start is the  what we call is the hill phase or you know the first  

[01:45] uh four weeks of uh mainly focusing on physical  and navigation. Normally in the wider army we work   in a team we work in a purely chain of command and  someone told you someone guide you but this is the  

[02:00] first time you have on your own start with the  8 mile and tomorrow is 9 mile. Every day longer   distance longer route last test is uh which is  16km but you have the full kit about 20-25 kg  

[02:19] with the weapon. In my time in '04 when it started  in January, 375 applicant and only 80 were passed.   When I going through we call the very famous uh  VW valley in the Brecon Beacons you go down and you go  

[02:37] up and down and maybe second week what happened  was my uh knee crack and it's like and next thing   you feel your leg is heavy and still you don't  it's like you don't stop, you keep going.  

[02:51] And in the morning I wake up and then I couldn't  straighten my leg. My leg is frozen like like this   and I like I got 20 minutes I need to I can't  move. So I have to like rub you around, and I  

[03:05] start speaking with the you know like colleagues  like and they were like now Kris you need to go   to the medic you know it's my... you're going to lost  your leg now. You know it's all this your mind   is gone crazy and like oh my I'm representing  the Gurkhas cuz I'm here cuz I'm my officer my  

[03:19] commander told me you know I I don't want to let  down you know and I'm like okay let's I will go   today anyway somehow I'll you know like limping  but still like 16 miles with you know, like 20kg  

[03:31] and weapon in certain time it's not complete  you have to complete in time but the problem   is I don't know how am I going to lost my leg or  am I going uh be okay or I'm still damaged then I  

[03:47] uh try to move physically lifting with the hands  one up and then keep going and look around no   one's there I drop my backpack and then you  know sat down look up and it's like is this it  

[04:02] you know is that what is your legacy of Gurkhas  and dream you feel the fresh breeze and you see   the cloud and you... I must have fell, you know, like  flat out sleep. And I see the vision of my dead  

[04:17] grandmother. I see my grandmother looking  at me and then I open my eyes and I'm like,   "Oh my god." And I just wake up, grab my backpack  and then run again, run and still manage to get in  

[04:33] the finishing line. It's probably the first  time I'm sharing this story. There you go.

[04:45] From there what we call second phase is the uh jungle.  We flew to the Borneo and then this is about four   to five weeks and this is where they looking at  the uh survival skill in jungle and hot and humid  

[05:04] and also we focus on the you know safety on the  weapon system how under the high pressure under   the high demanding environment in the jungle  can we put our focus and attention what is need  

[05:19] to be done to be honest this is where one of the  profound moment for me in my selection because I   was born in jungle and I am from pretty much hilly  region and be being a Gurkha cuz we are renowned for the  

[05:32] you know like jungle soldier or the warriors you  know who can live outside nomadic way. I said like   okay I go to jungle and trees then I'll be fine.  Mmmm- That was the biggest mistake.  

[05:47] What makes the hardest thing is when we land about uh 4 or 5 a.m. in the morning, flew from here overnight, There will be no brief. They will give you timing. That's it.  When we land about three or four of our guys already  

[06:00] hands up like it's 40°. And then everyone's  like, "Oh, never been here. It's hard to breathe."   And four guys are like, "Oh, it's not for me."  Then we land and like, "Okay, drop your bag. You  

[06:14] got two hours. Put on your gear." And then outside  in the beach you got 40 people here running on the   group session and we are keep running you know  like remember we have not slept and suddenly you  

[06:29] know one or two people drop, you know, because of the  heat and then the DS will stand up and goes and   like how many how many finger, that's like two,  it's like "oh he's fine, he's still alive." Then we  

[06:42] start lifting our leg with our own hand and this  is where I realize you know if If you can run,   run. If you can't still run, still walk, still  you can walk. And if you can't still walk,  

[06:54] you can crawl. A lot of us will give up. But  the the the willpower has to be there. But the   then when you come to the finishing line and  we never know whose pass and who will fail. But the  

[07:06] important is, they never shout at you. You  know that's probably one of the misconceptions   you know of TV and videos. They will say "middle" and  and this group will go this side, this group in  

[07:20] this. It's not the line you are looking for. It's  the willpower, the you know, like the courage,   the bravery within you. But I came with my  own ego. Everything collapsed on day one.  

[07:34] I think 80 of us went from 375, and  then out of uh 80 I think it's about   uh 30 pass, make through the final line. But out  of 30, 20 of them pass when you come to UK.  

[07:53] They will call to the room and they will say okay you  pass or you make it to the next stage or not.   There is a lot of character building there is a lot of  Psychology, a lot of you know the observation behind  

[08:05] the scene. They have the cameras everywhere.  They have the you know day and night observation.   Basis on that they constantly observing behind the  scene. They will give you oh one minor mistake you  

[08:17] haven't done your lace properly. You haven't put  the cammo cream on properly, and you haven't held   the weapon properly. So all the time one of the  basic fundamental is our hands has to both hand  

[08:30] to be on the weapon throughout. But the measure is  both hands off. If there's no hand on the weapon,   that's a major, you fail. One major, you fail. And  then if there's one hand that mistakenly comes off, 

[08:44] sees or this is found out, that's a minor. So all  this you know over the course of the weeks and   you know roughly "Oh I'm in the 10-11 minor, you know, I did one" you know, like then in your  

[08:57] mind is already know. What I mean is you already  when they say oh on the final day even though   you completed, come back, you didn't make it  because ABCDE... and then you're like, "yeah, I got it."

[09:16] One of the last stages is what we call the Escape and  Evasion, which is E and E. But that's where we test   sleep deprivation and also the physically fatigue  you know, the whole night. One of the examples is they  

[09:30] will put you into the sandbag, and then you know a  tractor comes and grab you, in the January deep into   the cold water not knowing how long when you're in that for. Freezing cold. Come out and then they will put into  

[09:44] the stress high stress intensity position all  night. Then that creates this special environment   for example uh you know monotonous, put the lights  on, put the candle on, is shivering not knowing  

[10:00] what's going on. One of the guys and a girl come up  and try to threaten you, you know with   the life and but obviously we've been given uh  information that can be shared. On that note, so  

[10:15] this is what you know one of the key information  we can give: your name, rank, number, and you know   uh the specific mission. So if you give anything  more than that, we fail. So that is the criteria  

[10:31] we've been already briefed. And then the test or  the examination is to come create the environment   smooth and very normal, and then they  come with an aggressive way or a passive way,   

[10:46] or an active way. So this is one of the tricks they do.  And other one is they what they create... you   are hungry, you are tired and you know, like  waiting, and they put you inside, drag you inside  

[10:59] this you know room and come to the beautiful  hotel. You know like, five star you know like   swimming pool and cafe and biscuits. And then a  beautiful you know woman come and then like "oh  

[11:14] do you want a coffee do you want biscuits?" And  you know you are in a dilemma, not able to sleep not   able to eat last couple of days, as long as you  are not saying and changing any or signing any   documents, you'll be fine. And you keep eating then  they're like "oh do you need all this beautiful food  

[11:30] and fruits you're eating?" And suddenly they will ask  a question, and so basically test your awareness.   still one of these uh tricks is that they will come with the genuine, the uh genuine

[11:44] solicitors or genuine people.  They will go through your paperwork and like   "Oh, you are about to move your house, we know  you're going to buy a house." And actually, oh yeah  

[11:56] you know you are. You are in your real life.  And how the hell do they know? Anyway they will   find out. And that's like, it's genuine, you know.  It's your solicitor from the safe field you know   "Come here, you are looking to buy this house, look  at this," and then they were like, "but you have to  

[12:12] sign this one so that your family will start get  into whatever business" or house or whatever or   day-to-day, you know, medical whatever that could  be. Actually I think one or two guys have failed  

[12:24] in this one because they signed the document and  unfortunately they have to go back again and and   start whole process, next time.  uh they will not reduce the standard.  You know, they will just maintain cuz it's been  

[12:44] going for you know like almost 100 years and  then they will just maintain. I think that   standard is the truly character building,  character choosing. Joining the Gurkhas from Nepal    is the most happiest and also I realized that I have made my parents happy. But I think  

[13:03] passing the SAS section is truly that is where  the moment I realize find my own path. You know   I able to evolve from my parents' dream to my  ancestor dream than I am living my own dream.

[13:24] I am from obviously from the land of the Himalayas and from nearby mountain called Annapurna which is far west of Nepal uh geographically. And historically, my grandfather was a Gurkha. My father was a failed Gurkha  

[13:42] and they had a dream for me to join before I was even born,  to be the Gurkha. I was living my parents' dream   when I was actually joining the Gurkhas, and that was  in uh 1995. I tried the first time, I failed. I had  

[13:59] to pack my bag and walk back to the mountain, and  almost devastated that I wasn't able to achieve   my ancestral dream. You know, then I realized I'm going  to prepare more so that I'm going to guarantee next  

[14:13] time, which is in 1996. Nepal is one country in the  world still the 90% population goes towards the   temple, goes towards the worship. As a first son  from my family, I was born into this. To carry on  

[14:28] the ritual, carry on the traditions. And then  I became a leader of my whole tribe from my   area, about a hundred people. Gurkhas are from the Himalayas of Nepal. Gurkha is a Sanskrit word. The 'Go' is a  

[14:43] sense, and 'ka' is a protective, Protector. Those who  protect. Whatever information come from outside and   able to master from within ourselves is 'Gurkha'. There  was one or two Gurkhas before me from other  

[15:00] Gurkha units. Maybe less than 20-30 years now  Gurkas are starting to come to the SF selection.   There's quite a lot of interest from the young generation  too. And if they are, especially you know have a  

[15:17] little bit of established education and system. And  then, because theyare already quite fit in terms of   physically. But just have the mental ability and  then, education you know, intellectual education  

[15:29] to adopt the information and pass through. That's  what the hardest part is. The first thing I said   joined the Gurkhas, cuz in 1996 my parents parents  and everyone, evenmy grandmother, you know  

[15:44] you know everyone is like so happy and joyful. And  then you know, uh in uh '04 when I said I joined   SAS, and they are in Nepal, I called them  and they said like "why you go to the  

[15:58] why you went to the SAS? Go back  to Gurkhas." And it's just because you know that's   probably that's what I said you know if you don't  know you don't know you know, they have no idea  

[16:10] about the SAS. You know, they live in the mountains.  They only knew was the Gurkhas is the best from where   they are. And that's their values. But then that's  what I realized, you know this is the time to  

[16:22] find my own dream. And this is the time  to make my own path. But the hardest thing for me is   compared to that is passing the selection and  move from the community the Gurkhas and Nepalese  

[16:34] culture, the brotherhood, to completely shift to  the new place. It is lot of shock in a way for   being a boy from Nepal coming to UK and going to  the SF. It's just one extreme to extreme. 

[16:49] It is challenging, you know. Including  like cultural shock, to language, to the food and   keep understanding everything like British sense  of humor. No Nepalese food, no Nepalese speaking  

[17:02] community. No culture. And when you come to the UK, the  first thing you go to the cook house and you know   you you see the knife and knife and fork and also  uh bakes beans and sausage and bread. And truly I  

[17:18] couldn't believe people live daily their life with  the sausage and beans. You know I asked "how can   I survive with this?" You know day one, week one. But  the interesting thing is now I can't live without it.  

[17:31] You know I think that's the story of our life  isn't it. I'm very fortunate I had the best comrade   and commander in in SAS. They recognized that, and  they uh they found that I have I'm struggling and  

[17:47] they helped me you know to burden. And one  of my uh good friends from the regiment they took   me under their wings, and like "Kris, you need to  go start drinking, go to the pub, you need to go   to the gym." I said like, oh wow never done that  never drunk before. By that time commander who  

[18:04] understood and he told rather than he telling me  to adopt. He told the guys to go and hang around   with me and then that's how helped me to you know  make them aware as a teamwork and understanding more  

[18:19] and create that space for me. Rather than I create  this space for them. I think that's what truly   ingenuity and I truly have the honor and serve  with the special guys in the world who is able to  

[18:32] sense the community and also the valued welcome  in the culture. Once you serve in the   uh British army so many years I think then we are  not entitled to get to British citizenship  

[18:48] until you retire. But once you retire, then you  can apply to be a British citizen, yes.

[19:00] I'm not allowed to give any names, any specific  mission name and then specific place or any you   know uh tactics or way of conducting drills.  Legally, you know I can't share that.  

[19:16] One of the key uh, you know rituals in a way or we  we go through is what we call is the On the spot   uh debriefing. Which is any uh attacks or any mission  what we call is 5 minute on the spot talking  

[19:33] about the key... pointing out the places and times that  has to stick with the memories. Then we go back   when we have a tea and coffee, and then we go through the process

[19:48] You know, I have operated, you know, pretty much quite around the world over the years. Definitely in the UK and then also Bosnia and also in you know central Asia  

[20:01] and one of them is in Italy and then that was  to teach again the local and SF forces and   how to encounter the undercover uh terrorism  and then how they influencing the you know  

[20:16] uh uh locals community. And you know business  so that to cope with that. One of my first   uh you know mission is in uh Afghanistan, and  in it was in 2004. So we call it threat-specific  

[20:31] mission. And you have to be very experienced  and knowledgeable about what you are doing.   But I was a very young guy. However I think I have had  the ability to speak and to you know translate  

[20:43] the you know because I used to speak 9 languages  before. Obviously we were, you know, monitoring   where a lot of weapons and ammunition were crossing the border from the other side  

[20:55] of the uh country to Afghanistan. So one  of this mission I've been uh I have to lead was   the local um ANSF, which is the Afghanistan Special  Forces. So my job is to uh to guide uh navigation  

[21:12] to bring you know with the with the uh  aeroplane and land in safely and to help   the local forces how to uh capture, how to find  information, and how to you know bringing uh and  

[21:28] then make them you know, detentions. My biggest  moment is obviously summiting Everest and also   summiting K2 in Pakistan. And also jumping in  Arctic, you know, in the minus 40° in nighttime. Not  

[21:46] only jumping but also we had to survive in night  time then everything is tactical. Tactical means no   lights, no speaking. Everything quiet. Jumping out  from plane in the night freezing when you open the  

[22:02] uh goggles, jumping out and all the eyelids are  frozen and then still you know close eyes   and rub it off. And then at night time, no lights.  And we have to find our backpack because all the  

[22:17] bags and everything will drop by the parachute  before. And we have to escape and evade in night   time in the snow. Then we have to find the target,  we have to establish the communication. And it's  

[22:29] pretty tough. I think the most dangerous situation  for me is that, you know, I can answer   in couple of ways. But I think most profound way  is when you see some you know your own friend  

[22:43] colleagues you know in front of you dying. You  know, that's probably the most profound   moment of life. And not about death, but realizing  why them? Why not me? I think those are the most  

[22:57] uh life-changing moment for me. But physically you  know sensorily, I think maybe jumping in nighttime   from aeroplane when we have been told that you  have to land in 100m in nighttime, pitch black  

[23:12] from thousand of feet above the sky. In pitch black  with the full gear, and then if you uh if you miss   the landing zone by 100 meter then you'll be gone.  In that moment in time, our own senses will lie  

[23:28] to us. We have to have have a faith and a trust in  the team we I have behind me. And also the love and   compassion we left behind in the house, you know, closed  door with our families. That's probably the uh I  

[23:44] I found very you know moment of realization what  what value it is to be alive. You know when you see   your own colleagues and also the other people in  front of you dying and gasp for the last breath  

[23:58] And yet again you need to stand up, dust off, and  then you know carry on your duty and responsibility...  uh then we carried a lot upon our shoulders. I think  those are the moment and time uh the reason has to  

[24:13] be more deeper and darker and more profound than  truly who we are. We have to accept we, at the end of day   we are just living human. We are not super human.  You know who was still made up from the elements.

[24:33] So SAS is completely what we call specified mission  and an implied mission. So what that mean is you will   be given the tasks and it's you is up to you, but you still have to show the plan and process and  

[24:50] it's a deliberate movement. And also we  has to come up with the minimum uh three to four   course of action, and then we sit down on the team  and what is the mission. Like, we sit down round  

[25:02] table and go through the mission and tasks and  responsibility and kit and equipment what we   need. So it's actually  uh decided by the whole team, but normally when we  

[25:15] have a smaller team let's say four-man, six-man team  then everyone has to be involved you know regardless   of whatever your knowledge, you not  knowledge. Regardless of your rank. I think that's   what actually the great difference between the  other unit and SAS units, you have to share and you  

[25:34] have to put input. So basically for me is over my  20 career, pretty much we had the same team. 'Cause   we join in the pretty much same time. We have  the, what we call is a team skill... communication  

[25:48] or medical of first aid on the  ground. You should able to choose some language and   you should you should master the you know like cyber. So these are the side jobs  

[26:04] we have to choose. Everyone has to have  an infill skill. Infill skill is you need to   specify, demonstrate and test and practice both day  and night, all conditions for either skydiving either  

[26:22] the driving on the ground, diving. So we have  to choose one of these specific skills when you   pass. My infinite skill is obviously mountain. The  way I use and have been used is any area specific  

[26:38] which involve the mountain and climbing and rope  and height, including the you know, like building   or underground or the shopping center. Anyway, we  involve the rope, harness, helmet or the mountain,  

[26:54] ice, snow. So that I then will be kind of you  know, in leading on this one. During the selection   process you got a choice. You got have a choice to  which group and you can apply for oh I want to go  

[27:06] this group or uh mountain or the boat or skydive  group whatever you prefer but it's not guaranteed   you're going to get that. It's a  training, repetitive training, training and training.

[27:21] You can put the blindfold, everyone can try. In fact, you know, whatever you do um in the daytime, put the   blindfold and then try to operate the system how  hard it's going to be. One thing I can guarantee  

[27:34] is the guys who pass the selection, they are  uber, you know, sensitive. If you have any of the guys   walking into the building... guaranteed those who  pass they they could detect a single thing here.  

[27:48] They can understand and perceive the situation  very faster. I still got one of my best friends   you know, I'm out, some of them are still  serving. You know, head of a department, and they  

[28:00] still you know are my closest friends one of them  I still regularly visit and share and the stories.

[28:12] I am one of the highest non-commission  warrant officer. Class 2, My last post was head of   the mountain warfare in the 22  SAS. When you join, regardless of whatever rank you  

[28:29] are come from uh before in the British army or armed  services, RAF, marines... any rank. But when you join the   SAS you became trooper, we call the trooper or the  rifleman. You start from a zero level. The ranking  

[28:44] system is doesn't uh really work like a normal  army, but it works on experience and commitment and   what post you got. That comes  from the judgment of the commander and the leadership.  

[28:58] I think that's the beauty of of the SAS unit, is that a lot of people don't know we specialize   and hone in from the day one week one. I was very  lucky if I'm honest with you. I've been promoted  

[29:10] very in faster than lot of them. Because I  happened to be in the right place right time. And I   had a great support from my my commander. So basis  on that uh then you know um I was very fortunate  

[29:27] and I promoted to lance coral only one only after  two years and then and then after the two after   two years then what we call is we do the like I  say I'm a mountain you know specialist. I join the  

[29:40] mountain troop and then when you do the mountain  course when you do good the how the system work   is you go outside the world, and work as a civilian  mountain guides around the world. You gather  

[29:55] the kind of knowledge and information how the  environment not only with the area and atmosphere   but also understanding the geologic geography and  the way the rock in everything more detailed.  

[30:08] And then second is obviously full corporal. Full  corporal is that we wear the two stripe but in   regimen we don't wear any uh dress and insigna. We  don't wear any ranks, and normally we wear you know  

[30:23] like normal, we call the working dress. Fit for the purpose and mission and task   wherever we going. And then normally if you do  you know the job well and no warning and no signing  

[30:38] any any difficulties, then every 2-3 years, you just  promoted you know behind the scenes. But because no   one wear it and no one you know we don't salute,  we don't, we aren't aware the responsibility.  

[30:52] We go by what is, you know, who is what. Basically we  just go by the experience, and knowledge what they   going to give us. And that's what we respect  for them. The third one is the sergeant  

[31:04] uh which is a three stripe and which is then  from sergeant onwards then you you have pretty   much given the responsibility of either second  in command, or sometimes you end up leading  

[31:17] the smaller team. Then once you uh be the staff  sergeant which is warrant officer which is the   last rank. It has to be pretty much a dedicated  position permanently more than two years so that  

[31:32] you're going to get that job and it come with a  huge responsibility both you know like morale and   understanding the mental health understanding  the whole situational awareness understanding  

[31:44] the kit and equipment and you are chief of the  department that is the highest rank you reach   uh, before if you decided to commission officer.  I was given to this role after that is to be head  

[31:58] of the mountain troop in the in the whole you know  regiment, so that's that's why I've been you know   given this post and that was my highest ranking  and that was my I think 13 or 14 years point.

[32:16] I have got these two, um uh we call mala in  Sanskrit in Nepalese and uh and obviously this   is uh one is my own cultural signifies the  Buddhist and Hindus or the you know ancient wisdom  

[32:34] and this one is what we call is uh given before  we when we join the soldier and then we need to   have to have with us when we deploying, especially in the war And his uh we have two when you are  

[32:50] have a biggest uh casualty of mass death in the  battlefield then one piece will stay with us on   the ground with the body, and other will come and get given to the family or the headquarters. So that  

[33:06] signifies 100% that's you because what happened  is when the chaos of the you know like bomb and   bullet and mass casualty messed up face messed up  body it's hard to define and find the identified  

[33:20] person. So that's the reason if it is stay with  you then that's you. So it's it's a proven with   the Gurkha we have called the very special knife  which called the pride of the Gurkhas. uh it's  

[33:32] been carried in Nepal we call Kukri. Kukri is  a bespoke design. When you join the Gurkhas we given two uh different Kukri, one is the  day-to-day working uh you know Kukri which  

[33:46] is designed to chop and you know and then the cut  and whatever day-to-day operation, and then other   one is what we call is the ceremonial. Normal to wear when dressed, and then you know the specific dress  

[34:00] and occasion. But it has got this immense value  because of our ancestor from the First World War,   Second World War. Maybe a lot of people don't  know whenever we go to the operation we do do   given the special knife you know uh which is you  know fundamentally you know is part of our kit is  

[34:18] a knife stay with you. But also not for the fight  but also survive, you know you know day-to-day life   when you go survival situation. I think kukri will  be great to have with us the you know ancestral  

[34:31] and DNA came with the Gurkhas a thousand years, but  however I think into this modern world you   know into this more technosavvy. You know we need  to have an equally you know more demanding and more  

[34:46] sophisticated weapon, and but when I when I was  uh you know in in the SAS we got the M4 and then   the Glock 17 This is the pistol and you got the  shotgun and and different shape and size of the  

[35:02] body armor. And then you know also the you know  vest and then the you know west and but also these   everything including kit and communication you  know helmet to the body armor to the weapon to  

[35:16] the knee to the you know hair and ear protection  that can be uh safe and that can be designed as it   you know specifically mission because whenever  we go for let's say urban or climbing in the  

[35:32] urban building uh in a multiple building or  the cave or on the ground or the you know   uh uh that that has a specific uh needs of the  kit and equipment. Obviously we can't go on the  

[35:46] full kit you know when you're doing little  bit technical and you know more uh you know   um undercover stuff but whenever you go full you  know kind of assault or the full combat mode then  

[36:01] you go with a different setup according to the  threat and then the assessment we can change the   kit and equipment and way we dressed and then we  carry the uh kit and equipment as well I I think  

[36:15] what is this important is uh every caliber has a different range and and you   know like smaller the caliber smaller the range  but the whole aim is to you have to still cover  

[36:28] the certain distance you know from A to B to C  and C to D. The commander will come up "I want this to   be this many seven point or this weapon and I want  this this weapon." And but you know then we'll sit  

[36:44] down, then "who's going to carry what?" And some of  them you might choose "Oh I'll carry this one."   Often we carry the local, you know weapon or you  know whatever that place has the local uh weapon  

[36:58] like AK-47 or the equivalent of you know any other  old which is used by the local people and   local force. And we yeah that is the little bit  odd but you know it's still the weapon.  

[37:14] Yeah, I think the world is changing, ever  evolving. I think to be honest even   my my my career over the more than decades,  I have seen evolving so much everything from   to kit and equipment, to whole mission,  you know culture, everything they have to learn  

[37:32] and you know accept the you know cyber and  what you know cyber and you know the AI how   to integrate with that but also adaptability  and the you know with environment we we we are  

[37:46] going through and the maybe a lot more  working with the you know like kind of   uh humanitarian aid and then the weather and  climate change and definitely um that is a future.

[38:06] I left in uh uh 2022 you know I enjoyed every  moment but also I think what I realized is   once you uh you know pick the certain can post  and rank and you you your position is you know  

[38:21] just you know sitting down and just like a desktop and managing things   and but I think for me it's I still wanted to go  outside you know thrive outside the outside in the   world. And also slowly I was involving quite a lot  with the climbing with especially disabilities   

[38:40] then you know the uh amputees and all the  veterans. And so that's what made me is realizes I   might able to give more you know working outside.  And also the more time with living  

[38:53] time with the families my parents in Nepal my  families in Nepal. if I'm honest with you about   still 90% of those ex-regimen who veterans are  still serving in the private sector there is a  

[39:06] lot to you know share you know what you learn over  the experience and leadership and how to deal with   high threat high stress and yet again uh being  able to see the danger or being able to assess  

[39:22] the situation. I think they definitely got  the special values and the experience on on that   situation. Last year involved military  charity, especially helping the disabled  

[39:35] uh soldiers and also the disadvantage kids  in Nepal. Some of the charities are pilgrim   band of charities which is limbless and Climb 2 Recovery and other veteran charities in climbing  

[39:47] for all the veterans. Gurkha Trust you know, Gurkha Museum. Those are very close to my heart. I end   up running the you know like a mindful retreat two  places. One is in London Surrey Hills, and other one is  

[40:00] the Lake District, uh three to four days retreat. And once  a year in Nepal, we go through the you know the   uh psychology the way of the you know life in  Nepal in Himalayas, the cultural and also the you  

[40:15] know Gurkhas and mindset in Nepal. The culture we  grown up is, whenever someone parents died   the culture that the son has to go two weeks uh  isolation. Then when we come back home, we are not  

[40:30] allowed to touch our kids or the youngest children  in our family. Before we come, then we have to   touch these five elements. We have to connect with  the fire, the water or the or the space and or the  

[40:45] some sort of natural elements. Then we go inside  the house. Every time I come back home from the   overseas conflict and you know the deployment man  I used to come home and I call call my wife I say  

[40:57] like "Oh can you tell my daughter because she's  very young by that time not to come to the door."  Can you create that environment because  I didn't want to hug her straight away because I  

[41:10] come from the you know different energy different  over the month, sometime 9, one years of you know   this energy and the blood. But this is once uh  happened. I think I came back from a mission. I told  

[41:25] her but however she just the young kids I think  she's mostly two or three, and open the door. She   just through the inside the door open her arms and  like "Oh daddy welcome." I said "Oh I can't hug her." 

[41:40] You know this is my culture and I refused to hug  her, and this moment has been uh in my heart for   many years. Then I realized when she became 16  I will ask to forgive and last year she became  

[41:59] 16 I sat down on her sofa. I I would sit down on  the floor and I asked for forgiveness because when   she was three four years old I couldn't hug  her and it's not the reason is is not that I  

[42:14] don't want it to but reason is that to protect  her this is what the reason is our culture is   teaching us and to be honest I think in hindsight  I probably the right thing you know because if I  

[42:26] had have hugged her I must have passed her some  energy or some you what I resist you with this   you know fighting and then the energy I going  through day-to-day survival day-to-day survival  

[42:39] death and death and that but my whole brain my  whole energy is in a defensive mode whole my   uh survival mode I think that's what important for  us to take away is that sometime we misunderstood  

[42:53] uh whatever job or duty or to care but actually  this important is that everyone matter you know   everyone matter and everyone is have the uh, able  to let it go and accept and that's probably the  

[43:07] biggest lesson I have learned and maybe you know  it's could be helpful for people who listening as   well you know you know it's the reason is not you  or them you know it's just the situation we going through.   Hi I'm a producer on authorized account  if you like this episode then you should check  

[43:23] out our new podcast and comment below with the  names of people you'd love to hear us interview.