It's Actually Here

[00:02] here. The Trump mobile device, it's finally arrived. This thing must have went around the world six times and back, but it finally made it into my lap. [laughter]

[00:21] then and then it it actually never came through Trump mobile. Uh big spoilers. Tr- the T1 device that that [ __ ] thing fell into the backrooms, I guess. That order is never

[00:36] being fulfilled, I don't think. This [snorts] one actually was a gift from a happy Trump mobile customer who felt bad for me, so they had their fun with it. I was actually I was big-time acting, by the way. I actually got tears

[00:51] I opened the floodgates, and now it And to think that I haven't been recruited to a blockbuster film since The Hunger Games, huh? What a what a tragedy. But um anyway, I

[01:05] This is a real Trump mobile device. It's It's not empty. I can tell it's not But I refuse to open the sarcophagus yet. Not because I'm afraid of like a mummy's curse or anything, but because I'm saving it to experience it with my

[01:19] I'm saving it to experience it with my friends. A gift is best experienced with others, the ones that you cherish the most, family and friends. Man, I was acting so hard my body is confused

[01:34] on the emotions to feel. Yeah, as I said, this isn't my T1 device, the one that I put the hundred clam deposit on to reserve. This isn't Charles White's

[01:46] T-Mobile device. This came from someone who already used it, rode hard, put away wet, and then offered to send it to me. And well, I been so happy. The Grinch's heart grew three sizes today. So yeah, big shout

[02:02] Tech Tips for putting this puppy in my lap here. I guess mine's just never coming. I [laughter] I suppose I'm just Squidward Patrick have fun with their Trump mobile devices while I was never going to get

[02:17] one. That was the plan, I suppose. But put this in your pipe and smoke it, Trump mobile. I did get one. And I can't wait to crack it open, break the seal on it. Well, the seal's broken. You can see

[02:30] that. The [clears throat] whole ass is prolapsing here, but It's like the Ark of the Covenant to me. It's going to [ __ ] melt my flesh the second I look at it. So like I said, I do want to save this for a bigger video

[02:44] like actually doing it justice to get into the nitty-gritty. And I know a done that already done that, far smarter than me. But I want to recruit someone and find like [ __ ] John telephone.

[02:57] telecommunication tech better than anyone else on the planet and I want to put this through the ringer. And then I want to fondle it and do all kinds of stuff to it and and see and see how it responds. I don't know.

[03:10] with it than just like unbox it and [ __ ] know that I did get it. Except Trump mobile never sent it to me. I still have not received any contact from Trump mobile on the whereabouts of my device.

[03:25] What the [ __ ] man? There was however one dumb [ __ ] out there that tried to scam me pretending to be Trump mobile telling me that telling me that my device was ready to ship, but there was a litany of spelling and grammar

[03:37] mistakes in there, which I guess cuz I bet half the team's [ __ ] sketchy enough to not respond. It didn't seem official, but that's the only

[03:50] semblance of contact I've had with anything even loosely adjacent to Trump mobile. I must have put in 10 total calls with their customer service. I think I know the reps better than their own families know them at this point. I

[04:04] was a frequent flyer there with the the HQ's hotline there. Never got an iota of anything helpful in terms of information. Do you remember in like episode 3 of this journey, one of the customer service reps told me that I'd

[04:18] be hearing a follow-up in like a month or so about my Trump mobile device and sorted out that way. Well, that didn't happen. That was a [ __ ] lie. Everything that could go wrong with a business I feel like is wrong with Trump

[04:30] mobile. Like from the product, from everything I've seen about it and I've been trying my best not to spoil it, but I have caught little glimpses of spoilers there with like some of the specs. But I am I am again trying my

[04:43] I want to be ooh'd and aah'd and surprised and experience it, you know, as a virgin here, the Trump mobile virgin. But from what I've seen, mobile virgin. But from what I've seen, just everything about this is [ __ ]

[04:56] just everything about this is [ __ ] trash. It was like a year past deadline pushing and pushing and pushing and then for a little while it looked like it and then they eventually I guess relented and just made something to push

[05:10] I don't know, man. I can confidently say I've never had a worse experience trying to spin my money on something and purchase something. What an grueling

[05:22] experience. Just a [ __ ] full-blown headache top to bottom. And if not for the generosity of other people who miraculously did receive it, I still would just be here with my dick in my hand and nothing to show for it, down

[05:36] $100 on an the imaginary Trump mobile device that I picture in my Trump mobile device that I picture in my head. Like I still would have nothing. wonder if they will ever actually ship me something. I'm so curious or send me

[05:50] an email. Cuz the whole thing is that I need to finish paying for it. I still of the money because I still haven't received my my follow-up email to do so. And there's nothing for me to follow to do it. It's just so garbage. But anyway,

[06:07] doesn't matter now. Let's Let's not dwell on the negatives. We have dwell on the negatives. We have gold. We have the Tesseract. So, uh probably next week sometime, I'll do a a bigger bigger video with this.

[06:22] Feel free to comment and let me know all kinds of fun little activities to try it make it as thorough as possible. This [ __ ] might be a [ __ ] 4-hour mega documentary on the Trump mobile device. Just feel free to go hog wild with ideas

[06:38] some of that. Oh, holy Toledo, one other thing I forgot to mention when going through this montage of misery with the Trump mobile, their [ __ ] data breach. >> [laughter] >> They had a full-blown data breach along

[06:51] >> They had a full-blown data breach along the way. Just huge security boo-boo. The like actually, I mean it. I think I think everything that could go wrong with a product went wrong with this. And the experience couldn't have been worse

[07:05] That being said, what could one little peek hurt? I've What What are the odds that they put like a brick in here just to really [ __ ] I I I We've got to at least We've got to confirm, you know, proof of life here.

[07:19] here. Cuddled on up. It's there. I refuse to look any further. I can see

[07:34] it sleeping peacefully. I can see that it's resting comfortably. I I know it's here without a doubt. Looks to be in pristine condition. Just waiting for me. But don't don't worry,

[07:50] princess. Very soon we'll we'll be able to get to know each other. Anyway, I'll stop yapping about yeah, let me know if you have any cool ideas for

[08:03] ways to test it and things to do with it. It's a [ __ ] phone. >> [laughter] >> But still within reason things to do animal out of it or anything. Anyway, anyway, that's really about it. Yeah.