If You're 11-25 and Have No Friends, Don't Miss This Video!

[00:02] there was chatting and friendly, while you sat alone, unable to make friends, don't miss this episode! In this episode, I'll explain why one person, wherever they go, becomes friendly with everyone, and everyone loves them

[00:15] and gathers around them, while another person can't even make one friend their whole life. Is this second person introverted and boring, which is why people don't befriend them? Is it because of these things that they're always the third wheel in their relationships with their friends, hanging out together but not

[00:29] talking, and forgetting about them completely? You'll find out all this in today's episode, and most importantly, you'll learn exactly what you can do to completely change things. Instead of having one friend, you'll have 100! Good evening, friends! Welcome to a new episode of "It

[00:45] Came to My Mind," the beloved program. To my heart, I mean, I get really excited while making this episode. It just popped into my head. This episode has two special things. The first is that we got a new microphone for everyone who was complaining about the sound. We got a new water tank, we

[00:59] poured a lot of water into it! The second thing is that we're going to talk about friends. This episode is for you if you don't have friends, or you feel alone most of the time, or even if you have friends but feel lonely among them. Yes, you're together, a group and everything, you go out and hang out

[01:13] together, but you know, you feel like they're together more and you feel alone even when you're with them. If you feel what I'm saying, then believe me, this could be one of the most important episodes Because honestly, I swear to God, for the past

[01:28] explaining the world of friends and relationships and all that stuff. I wanted someone to explain to me why some people... He's social, knows how to make friends, and knows how to interact with people. But he's just sitting on the sidelines, unable to get to know anyone. He might go somewhere for months,

[01:43] stay for about a year, and not make a single friend. What you'll hear in this video will have a scientific explanation to help you understand why this is happening to you. But more importantly, I'll give you the essence of the 23 years I've lived and experienced in relationships with friends and colleagues. I'll give you

[01:57] the summary of all that in this video, so please, I beg you, focus on every word you focus on every word you hear from the beginning here in this video. On March 13, 2024, the picture you see in front of you was published. It's a very ordinary picture: two people

[02:10] sitting in a wheelchair with their wife standing behind them. But what you don't know is that this seemingly ordinary picture, as soon as it was published, caused a huge uproar. What happened was that the person who posted it had shared it in a Facebook post. This post was telling a story The story of the two people

[02:23] sitting in wheelchairs that you saw in the picture, and as soon as their story was told, this post spread in a terrifying way. What is their story? The two you see in front of you are named Jan and Jason. They met in school when they were 10

[02:36] years old and were best friends. They were so close that they was going well until five years later, when they were 15,

[02:49] Jason suffered a tragedy that turned his life upside down. The tragedy was that Jason had been suffering from an illness without realizing it, and this illness had been eating away at him for years without him noticing. Then one day, when he was 15, Jason suffered a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. This stroke meant that

[03:05] Jason would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Jason says that when his friends from school found out, they all rallied around him and supported him. They visited him frequently, and the support was overwhelming at first, going back and forth to the hospital. But he says

[03:19] that after a few months None of them even asked about him anymore; they were all preoccupied with their studies and other things. Except for one person, John Jason. He says that John used to come to him every day, sit with him, study with him, and keep him company all day. Even when Jason was running errands, John would carry him and

[03:34] take him. John loved him very much and was incredibly supportive. Their relationship continued like this year, then two, then three, until John and Jason were both 35 years old. Just as they reached that age, the second tragedy struck. John was driving his car when he had a

[03:49] very severe accident. He suffered a compound fracture of his spine. As soon as he arrived at the hospital, the doctors performed numerous surgeries to try and save him, but unfortunately, it was too late. The shocking news was that John now had the same disability as his lifelong friend Jason: he was

[04:05] paralyzed from the waist down. Of course, from that point on, it became incredibly difficult for John and Jason to be together. they're both sitting together. But look at the death, guys! Jason never left his friend's side and stayed by his side every day, just like John did for him. He cheered him up and

[04:21] comforted him, and the two of them grew even closer. You know, amazingly, they're both over 50 today, and they still meet up and see each other almost every day, even though each of them has their own life, family, and loved ones now. They still meet up just like before.

[04:35] When this post went viral, everyone was amazed by this incredible friendship, and honestly, I wasn't surprised at all. It's a beautiful thing. But what surprised me was that some of the comments were upset. Of course, you're probably thinking, "What's with all this nonsense? What are they upset about?" Well,

[04:48] these people are really upset because they do n't have any friends at all, and that's what made me make this episode. I ask myself why so many people don't know how to make friends, and even if they do have friends, they're always the other side of the group. You'll find that the whole group talked and

[05:02] agreed to go out, and he's the last to know, maybe no one even contacted him. He might get a last-minute invitation, and then the group takes pictures and posts them, and when he sees them, he gets upset and bothered inside. He keeps asking himself, "Why didn't they ask me? Is it

[05:17] because my personality isn't good or boring, so people avoid me? What's the reason?" Honestly, it's frustrating. If you feel this way, I understand completely. I know how completely. I know how

[05:32] not just psychologically damaging, it's also physically harmful. This might be the strangest thing you'll ever hear from me. Now, a scientific study has been published confirming that isolation and social loneliness, meaning not having friends,

[05:45] affects the heart as if you smoked 15 cigarettes in one day. Can you imagine the danger of not having friends and being alone? I don't want to scare you, but let's start talking and understand why some people are social and know how to make

[06:00] friends while others don't. For example, when someone goes to a new place alone, they're usually stressed and anxious on the way, feeling uneasy, like something's wrong. They arrive, the anxiety completely takes over. Some people might even experience

[06:16] trembling and a rapid heartbeat due to the tension, even though it's or even just a little bit of it, so I want to tell you not to worry, you're not alone. There are so many, so many people like this, and I don't know how to explain it, but the surprising thing is that I used to be one of

[06:32] those people. I used to get so nervous whenever I went to a new place. The anxiety would always be all over my body, I swear to God. Sometimes, I was so nervous that my whole body would be dripping with water from the stress. And look, it was

[06:46] impossible for you to tell me to go somewhere new and make friends there. That was just impossible. I mean, what would I say to people in a new place? 'Let's get to know each other?' Of course, I couldn't do that at all. I mean, I'm serious, I'm not joking. But you know, there came a time when this

[06:59] started to bother me a lot, and I started to research because I wanted to know what was causing it. I see people getting to know each other and it's so easy for me, so why is it like this? When I started to research this, I found that the reason was psychological. Well, this problem is rooted in several things that unfortunately

[07:12] happened in childhood. Some parents love their children very much and are extremely protective of them, fearing they might fall in with love their children very much and are extremely protective of them, fearing they might fall in with them. But these parents are overly restrictive, to the point that a

[07:27] child during childhood—a crucial period for exploration and discovery—is confined to school and home, with no opportunity to socialize. Their parents don't even allow them time to play with friends. Naturally, this overly isolated child grows up, and when they reach a

[07:43] certain age, life forces them to open up to the world, whether it's high school or university. This is where the clash with reality occurs, and the disaster happens. This young person finds they don't know how to interact with people, how to make friends, or anything else.

[07:58] How does he deal with people? He hasn't had any friends since childhood because he was isolated, or maybe he had one or two friends, but when it comes to dealing with people, he's practically inexperienced. So when life forces him to interact with others, his reaction is, "What is

[08:12] this world? Why is this person talking to me like that? Why is this person treating me like that?" When he sees people's behavior and reactions, he experiences a kind of shock and doesn't feel safe around them at all. When this person sits with himself and reflects, he tells himself, "I was more comfortable when I was alone." And

[08:25] he's not lying; he is more comfortable and alone, and he feels a strong sense of femininity when he's alone. So, involuntarily, this person develops an unconscious idea that when he's alone, he'll be okay and feel safe. None of the bad things that

[08:39] bad people do will happen to him when he's alone. It makes him love solitude even more, and loneliness becomes part of his identity and personality. He stays like this for a year, then a second, then a third, until suddenly life turns its back on him and says, "

[08:55] Everyone else has friends except us!" Then this person's eyes become blind to everything else. He looks around and sees that everyone else has friends, and he doesn't have a single one. The problem is, even when he tries to make friends, he can't. "Why would I go up to someone and say, 'I want to get to know you'? What

[09:09] nonsense!" So, he doesn't know how to make friends, and this person remains trapped in a cycle of depression and loneliness. "You're describing me, Shehab! I swear, everything you said applies to me exactly!" There's also an important point to make so as not to be too harsh on the parents,

[09:22] but because you're probably thinking to yourself... Oh, if they hadn't restricted us when we were little and had let us be more open to the world, we wouldn't be like this now. I completely understand what you're saying, but please excuse them. He's their child, and they're very protective of you. Also, remember that a

[09:35] parent's perspective on the world makes a difference. If the surrounding environment isn't ideal—the area you live in, the country you're in, the news you're constantly exposed to, especially if it's negative—then parents want to isolate their children, to keep them safe.

[09:51] wrong with that, and there should be some middle ground, but that's what happened. You'll go and gather up your friends, blame them for what, and even if you do, how will they fix it? There's a phrase I want to make into a poster and put up in this room: we might not be

[10:05] 100% responsible for the problems that occurred. We are 100% responsible for solving it. You are responsible for solving this problem, even if your parents are the cause. We don't want to place the blame solely on the parents. But the issue of loneliness and not having friends can't be

[10:19] reduced to just one reason. Anyone who tells you that is being very superficial. The issue is much bigger and deeper than that. Let me surprise you and tell you that you might not have friends and you might be alone because of a bullying incident that happened to you in school when you were little, from someone who became your classmate

[10:32] or from the next class. Imagine this incident; you might have even forgotten it and can't remember it. This incident could be a huge reason why you're suffering from loneliness and not having friends because the incident itself might be forgotten, but its impact is still there.

[10:46] Don't forget. Okay, guys, you've made me open up and exposed myself. What should I do if you're going to make me go and see... People and I say to them, "Good evening, I want to get to know you." I won't finish the episode, I swear to God, I really won't finish the episode. Because, man, I have

[10:59] Good evening, I want to get to know you." I'm one of the friends. If someone makes you think that's the solution, then unfortunately, that's not the solution, and that's a very naive view of the subject. The solution is like this: make a cup of tea and sit with yourself in a respectable setting, take a deep breath, get a

[11:15] pen and paper, and ask yourself, "Do I love myself at all, or not? Do I love myself and accept myself, or not?" This question is seriously, seriously, seriously, seriously important. Grab a pen and paper and write down what you accept about yourself and what you don't accept. Because believe me, if you don't love yourself and

[11:30] don't accept yourself, you won't have enough confidence to go and make friends. Your self- image is shaky, so it's perfectly natural that your mind will see this as the image that, if you went and introduced yourself to someone, they wouldn't accept you. Even notice this when you're sitting in a

[11:44] new place alone, or even if it's not new but you don't know anyone there and everyone is already friends and you want to befriend someone. You'll find a voice inside you saying, "No, don't, they won't accept him." And look at this part: sometimes, to avoid blaming

[11:57] yourself and your personality, you throw it at the other person. Like, "No way, those kids are so annoying, who are they to be friends with?" They'll say, "What's wrong with that? I don't need that." They're all worse than each other, so that's the perfect excuse to stay alone. This proves to yourself

[12:10] that solitude is truly the best thing in the universe. So what's the solution, my friend? The solution is to go back to pen and paper. Why do we deserve to have good friends? Why do people deserve to have me as their friend? Write, write, don't be afraid. Write: I'm a kind person. I'm an honest person. I'm

[12:24] very helpful to my friends. I'm someone who, when I love people, gives to them and does things for them. Believe in what you wrote about yourself and train yourself to accept yourself. Because, please, give me one reason why people should accept you if you don't even accept yourself. You're not kind and gentle with yourself, so

[12:40] you want people to be gentle and kind to you? You haven't even done that for yourself. Do what I told you and go, my friend, to a new place where you don't know anyone, and I'll tell you exactly what to do to lose this reservation. I want to tell you now that, by God, one

[12:53] of the most enjoyable moments of my life is going to a new place where I don't know anyone at all. So I started by getting to know people, meeting new people, making new connections, and so on. So now you've gone to a new place, you like yourself, and you want to meet people and make friends—that's a great thing. You're not going to just walk up to someone and

[13:07] say, "Good evening, I'd like to get to know you." That's a bit of a strange approach, even though it's perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with it. But not everyone understands it. As a person, I'd see it as perfectly normal. I'd see it as a sign of the person's kindness; they approached me directly and said they wanted to get to know

[13:21] said they wanted to get to know their gesture and take it very seriously. Someone else might say, "What does he want?" and so on, and that

[13:33] would make your approach seem a bit suspicious. So what should you do? First of all, please get rid of the idea that the person in front of you won't accept you, or that they don't want to get to know you, or that if you approach them, you 'll be a burden and ruin things for them. I do n't know what this is all about, and all that stuff is

[13:47] completely wrong and untrue. Why? Because most people actually want to know, but they're in the same boat as you. Like I told you, a lot of people are like that. A lot of people don't know how to make friends. Very few people have the soft skills or the ability to approach and get to know

[14:03] bit difficult then. So, like I said, people in a new place generally want others to approach them and build relationships. So, simply put, if you have someone in the place you're in or at the time you're in. For example, if you're

[14:18] you want to get to know the person next to you, and the lecture is going on for a long time, you can drop a comment like, "Hey, when is this lecture going to end?" Or, if it's hot, say, "Oh my God, it's so hot! Aren't you and the story and the narrative and all that, and he'll ramble on for a bit.

[14:32] Then ask him an open-ended question about himself. An open-ended question means something he'll ramble on about. For conversation with him, ask him, "Is this your first time taking this course, or this lesson, or this lecture? Did you choose this department for the first time, or because of the group?" Throw him a question that he'll ramble on about, and let him

[14:46] talk. Honestly, people love nothing more than rambling on about themselves. It would be great if you could ask him a question that gets him to ramble about his achievements. That would make you a real gem! This guy would become your friend. Let him talk freely, and then you can pick up on his stories and ask him about things again. He'll talk even more and ramble on. The most important thing is to be fully

[15:00] engaged and focused on him. If he says something and show your surprise. If he says something upsetting, then be really upset. This is serious, and I don't know what else to say. You speak to him in a slightly upset tone, but pay attention to what he's saying. While he's talking, you chat with him too. You'll find

[15:16] the topic will develop over an hour or two. The conversation will continue to flow, and from what he says to you, his introduction of himself, his personality, his style, and his manner of speaking—all

[15:40] talking to him and introducing yourself, there's a 95% chance he'll feel the same way you did—that see how things are. Let's meet again," or something similar. If you're here and you come regularly at the same time,

[15:52] we'll meet up. He'll say, "Sure, great," and you'll get his number and give him yours, and things will go very smoothly. Then your relationship with this guy will deepen, and the depth will be gradual. How deep do you want him to be your friend? It's important that the

[16:05] depth is mutual, not one-sided. What you do for him, he'll do for you exactly the same, or something similar. You'll feel it; you'll feel that this person cares about you. The most important thing is not to be a burden on anyone. You have your own life and many things to do, and at the same time,

[16:18] you have your friends. Always listen to your friends very carefully and pay attention to what they say. This makes them feel incredibly comfortable talking to you. Always comment on the things they do, even the small ones, and praise them a lot. Believe me, if you do this... People will love you immensely. Be

[16:33] very open in your interactions. Don't underestimate anyone, no matter what they do, because that person could completely change the course of your life without you even realizing it. As for your friends who are always going out, doing things, and making plans without even talking to you, or even inviting you over for a proper meal, honestly, my advice is to

[16:46] try talking to them, find out what the problem is, and do the things I just mentioned. If you feel they're still doing things that bother you, then you what to do or not to do then, but as a

[16:59] person, if I sincerely try to improve my relationship with them and they're still doing the same things, then honestly, as a person, I'll just ignore them and keep quiet. All of what I told you in this episode isn't a set of rules; it's based on my personal experience.

[17:12] At 23 years old, you need to understand that your elementary school friends are different from middle school friends, high school friends, and university friends. Yes, some people continue those friendships, but not everyone does. After all that, you'll find that your closest friends—the ones you can let into your home without worry, your inner circle—

[17:26] will be only two or three. The rest are your friends, and I don't know you, but that's your inner circle. The I don't know you, but that's your inner circle. The sincerely, and above all, you must love yourself. Believe me, if you do this, you'll have many more

[17:41] friends. Going to a new place alone for the first time will be one of the most enjoyable experiences you'll have in your life. You'll have a lot of fun, and it will give you a huge boost of self-confidence every time you do it because you'll meet new people, build new relationships, and these people might actually add something to your life.

[17:55] You're not boring, you're not a bad person, you just need to love yourself. That's enough, and use the cameras I told you about in those videos. Believe me, instead of just one friend, you'll have 100. And as usual, don't forget to share.