Never Let Your BRAIN Feel Lonely Again

[01:20] video is very important for you because the loneliness which you consider as normal adulting has been declared a pressing health threat in 2023, which means it can be as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness is

[01:35] affecting 43% of adults in India alone. Meaning one out of every two is affected. In this video, first of all there is a test in which I will share with you five sciences. From this you will be able to understand how much impact loneliness has on you. After that

[01:50] we will also know how loneliness is quietly destroying what is happening inside your body. And in this video I will tell you about some shifts which are not bookish things. These are tested and evidence-based practices that will directly challenge your loneliness

[02:05] that will directly challenge your loneliness and and show you a practical way out of this loop.

[02:45] alone or do you just feel that way because the difference between the two is huge. Does it really happen that we forget things when there is no one to listen? We are not talking about the loneliness you feel when

[02:58] your friend cancels your outing plans. Nor are we talking about the loneliness that you feel when your friend is unable to pick up your call. There comes a point in everyone's life when they feel lonely. This is normal. But the loneliness epidemic we are talking about here is actually

[03:11] This is normal. But the loneliness epidemic we are talking about here is actually whether your loneliness is a temporary phase or you have become a victim of chronic loneliness, then right now I am going to give you five signs. While listening to them, see

[03:25] which signs you can relate to. You mark yourself there and then see how many marks you have overall. The first sign is feeling invisible even while being among your loved ones. You have friends, family, and people to talk to.

[03:41] But you always feel a wall in front of you. Ca n't share my thoughts. Ca n't connect with anyone. Something good or bad is happening in your life, only you know about it or someone else. The second sign is that the brain overthinks every normal thing.

[03:57] Your brain starts seeing even normal neutral situations as rejections. Someone left your message on the scene and took it to mean they didn't like you. They hate us. No old friend

[04:10] old friend asked about my well-being like before. It means I have done something wrong. I don't have that thing. Research shows that people who feel chronic loneliness develop a lower degree of social anxiety. Meaning they

[04:23] constantly scan for rejection, which further distances you from people. The third sign is a feeling of emptiness, a void, and that and that always remains in the background. Meaning, no matter how the day is going. Sometimes you are laughing, having

[04:37] fun, you are feeling fine but there is a kind of emptiness in the background. He comes in peacefully every now and then during the day. You even keep yourself busy but that emptiness does not go away. You always feel that gap. That

[04:51] is not situational. He acts like a background. The fourth sign is the like a background. The fourth sign is the increased too much. Whenever you are alone, you start scrolling through reels or shots for no reason

[05:05] or suddenly open old chats or galleries and start looking at them. Actually, when the brain does not get human connection in real life, it starts not get human connection in real life, it starts

[05:20] loop continues and you become more and more lonely. Fifth sign: Not feeling like getting up. Sometimes this happens to you, for example, you are completely asleep. You have slept for a full hour but as soon as you wake up in the morning you feel tired. Without any physical work, there is

[05:35] a strange heaviness in the body. Science says that chronic loneliness increases your stress hormones like cortisol. This means your loneliness is not just in your mind. It is also affecting your body physically.

[05:50] How many of these five sciences did you tick? How many could you relate to? Because if you are relating to these signs then you must watch this video further. The three important life shifts that I will tell you in the end will help you a

[06:03] lot in getting out of any kind of loneliness. When I was researching this video, researching [music] on loneliness, we found a lot of sessions. Some such creative and impressive sessions were also found. That too not only in India but at the global level. The

[06:17] five sciences that we saw are not just our story or the story of just a few people. In fact, people in every corner of the world are noticing this science within themselves. This loneliness is a global crisis which affects every country and every person. Earlier people were

[06:31] lonely because the world was not so connected. Making a call was never as easy as a tap. But the surprising thing is that today when digital connection is at its peak, how has human connection reached zero? Let me take you on a little world tour.

[06:45] Then you will see for yourself what measures people are taking in different corners to avoid this cloneliness. Our first stop is the world's fourth largest economy, which also leads the world in loneliness. According to Japan Numbers,

[06:59] 39% of Japanese people feel lonely. But the methods that people there are devising to fight this isolation are as strange as they are fascinating. His first example is Shoji Morimo. Their official profession is rent to do nothing. Meaning

[07:15] taking money for doing nothing. This is strange, isn't it? Shoji Morimo rents himself out to people. People hire them so that someone can keep them company. They are paid just to provide companionship. Meaning a profession that has

[07:29] arisen only from loneliness. People are paying money just to have someone sit quietly with them. paying money just to have someone sit quietly with them.

[07:42] forces us to think that loneliness is not an ordinary feeling. Loneliness has been a big issue in Japan for a long time. And in 2009, Japan identified another major threat, Hiko Mori. This is an

[07:57] extreme form of social isolation where people lock themselves in a room for months and years and are completely cut off from the outside world. Concerns grew further when there was a dangerous surge in sickness rates after COVID-19 and the numbers of these hikikomori started

[08:12] increasing rapidly. Then the government there considered this isolation not just a personal struggle but a systemic national crisis. And for this reason, in February 2021, the Prime Minister of that country, Suga,

[08:32] Saka [music] Had appointed a Minister of Loneliness. Just imagine this situation that the entire country had to set up an official government ministry for the feeling which we keep ignoring considering it to be normal adulting. If you're wondering

[08:46] why people in Japan are trying so many weird things, let's meet the Lonely Generation of the USA.

[09:07] Millions of people in the US today are These are not ordinary chatbots. This AI understands our likes, our dislikes and our fears and becomes a perfectly customized partner. Who never fights with you, who

[09:22] says only what you want to hear. And it didn't stop at just chatting. People there have become so emotionally attached to these AI bots that some people are that some people are

[09:38] a woman named Rozana Ramos officially married an AI chatbot named Eren Cartai, and she says she has never felt such a connection with a real person. He listens to me more than the actual like relationships that I had.

[09:54] So now you tell me that you should consider machines and technology as your partners. Sharing daily life with them, is your partners. Sharing daily life with them, is which are world leaders. At one place people are searching for human beings for companionship.

[10:07] Elsewhere, humans are looking for alternative AI. Now let's go to the place which you all and I were waiting for. Next top is our own India. The higher the population of our country, the higher is the state of loneliness. We

[10:22] put DND status so that people ask us what happened? Everything is fine. Well, apart from joking, if I tell you that there is a website where you can pay money and rent a stranger as your friend. For evening coffee, morning

[10:35] job or night chat. I myself was surprised to see this and you too will be shocked to hear that such a website exists. Its name is Friend on Rent. Where you can rent to a friend. I mean, just imagine that friends will also start coming on rent. Have you

[10:47] ever thought of such a shocking thing ? Now let me ask you a personal question. How many of you use dating apps? Hinge, Bumble, Tinder. Many of us often think that this app is just a means to find love or relationship. In fact,

[11:01] it has become a way to pass time, meet new people and socialize. And if you also use any of these dating apps, then somewhere deep inside you also know

[11:21] fall in these categories. Check your phone, when was the last chat you had with GPT to tell them your problems? Because in today's time, machines seem more accessible than human connection. Well

[11:33] now people are doing different weird things to get out of loneliness. But is it really as serious as WHO or other countries are treating it? I mean, what will happen if you stay alone? So far

[11:48] we have talked about how chronic loneliness feels ? Now let's talk about what she does from inside with the body, with the mind and this partner is a bit heavy but it is very important for you to know. Imagine there is a guy, he has friends, work, routine, everything

[12:02] seems fine from the outside. But deep inside he does not feel genuinely connected to anyone. He feels alone in his life. Now it is not just a feeling but has become a biological event. Even after sleeping for 8 hours, in the morning it feels as if there is no energy in the body. There is

[12:17] a strange heaviness throughout the day. If family members or friends say something, then without any anger and later one wonders to oneself why have I become so irritable. Picking up the phone and scrolling through reels, shots for hours and not realizing when

[12:33] two hours passed. If this is happening to you or someone you know, it's not just ordinary fatigue or boredom. This is a kind of warning system of your body. In scientific terms, when we feel lonely for a long time, our

[12:47] nervous system [music] goes into a constant alert state. Because of this, your stress hormone, cortisol, remains constantly high. And when cortisol system [music] starts to weaken. And a

[13:03] chronic inflammation starts growing inside. This is the same inflammation that fuels heart disease , increases diabetes, and accelerates plaque buildup in the brain. Dr. Cole is a researcher at the NIH. He has very rightly

[13:16] explained that loneliness acts [music] as a fertilizer for other diseases. Meaning loneliness itself is not a disease. It acts as a base that allows other diseases to grow rapidly in the body. Now think, when the body system faces stress all the time,

[13:30] it has a direct impact on our heart. The American Heart Association reports that people who feel constantly lonely have so much pressure on their blood vessels that the risk of heart attack increases by 29% [music].

[13:45] And the risk of stroke increases by 32%. Now its effect is not only on the heart but also on the brain. A massive study of 600,000 people found that loneliness increased the risk of dementia by 31%. It has

[14:01] nothing to do with age or depression. This is directly linked to the fact that the brain did not get the social connection it needed. This is the reason why according to WHO, loneliness is a major factor behind more than 8.7 lakh deaths in the world every year.

[14:18] experts say that loneliness is as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Because both of them silently damage your body from within. And this is why countries like UK and Japan had to appoint a separate Loneliness Minister for this serious issue.

[14:35] So, do you also need AI, rented friends or robots to come out of this epidemic or is there any weapon with which you can turn this loneliness into your strength? In the next video I will tell you about the weapon which

[14:50] looks like loneliness but is its complete opposite. And I'll tell you three shifts [music] that can get you out of this loop. Okay, now we have talked enough. Now I give you a choice. Option A, you just have to sit alone in an empty room for 15 minutes without a phone, without any human being,

[15:06] without any distractions. Option B: You have to suffer a mild electric shock. What kind of choice is this, you say? Everyone will choose option A only. But when Virginia University actually conducted this experiment with people, the

[15:20] results shocked even the scientists. Many people chose to give themselves electric shocks rather than sit alone. One person shocked himself 19 times in 15 minutes. You must be finding this stupid after hearing it, right? So let's do a little

[15:35] test. Imagine you are in the metro or going on a long journey or going on a long journey and you have forgotten your headphones at home. Now you have two options. Option A: You just sit quietly without any headphones or phone and

[15:48] enjoy the journey with your thoughts for 15 minutes. Option B: You take out the phone without earphones. You turn the volume all the way down to zero and just blankly scroll through the reels for the next 2 hours. Tell me the truth, how many people know that they will choose option B only?

[16:04] people know that they will choose option B only? refreshed and 90% of the people must be doing the same. Because as soon as the world becomes quiet , we suddenly start realizing how lonely we are from within.

[16:17] As long as the phone was on and the earphones were in our ears , we kept our minds company, an illusion that we were not alone. But as soon as that distraction is removed, the fear of loneliness hits directly. We start questioning ourselves,

[16:36] not feeling well? I wish I had someone like that in my life whom I could call. You must be tired of hearing about this loneliness, right ? So let me tell you a very interesting story. An interview with a Buddhist monk in which he was

[16:50] [Music] How do you manage to be alone for so long? Now people thought that he would answer with some complex topic like meditation, spirituality, enlightenment etc. said a very simple line. Peace myself vise

[17:05] open the myself long time. He said I am never alone. I am with myself. And perhaps this is the line that the modern world has forgotten to understand. To be

[17:17] line that the modern world has forgotten to understand. To be with yourself. When you learn to sit with yourself without any distractions, without any phone, and you start feeling peace in it instead of fear, then that state is called [music] solitude.

[17:31] From the outside, both of them appear to be alone. But for one, loneliness consumes him and for the other, it is his strength. [Music] While loneliness eats you up from within , solitude heals you from within [Music]. In loneliness

[17:45] you feel cut off from the world. But in solitude you connect with yourself for the first time and it's actually very important [music] for your brain because there are two different systems inside our brain that work in balance. The

[17:58] first is the task positive [music] network. It is active when you use your phone, do office work, talk to friends. It keeps the brain always active which consumes a lot of energy. And the second one is the

[18:11] default mode network. This is the most important part of our brain that gets activated when you sit quietly without any distractions, [music] without any screens. Think of it as the brain's maintenance department that clears out the stress of your day

[18:25] [music]. Filters your emotions and sets your memory in the right place. When we don't give this time to the brain, the system always remains overheated. And this is why people spend some time intentionally with themselves. Their

[18:39] focus is better. His mind remains active. He does n't get extreme irritation [music] over small things. Solitude is not a fancy shock but a genuine need of the body. So the way out of loneliness is

[18:55] feeling comfortable with yourself. [Music] Because unless you can sit comfortably with yourself, you can't genuinely connect with anyone else [Music]. Now let's talk about the thing for which you have come here till the end. Coming out of isolation does not mean

[19:08] that you change your life completely. Try new things every day. For this we need three smart shifts, if you follow them for the next 20 days, then trust me you will see a huge change in yourself. The first shift is the Agora Walk

[19:24] concept. In the Agent Times, the people of Greece used to do a very powerful thing. They called it agora. Agora is basically a place where people gather without any work. I just go out to roam around and think.

[19:41] people believe that 20 minutes walk with yourself fixes everything. Like we talked about solitude earlier. The most important thing to make genuine connections with others is to be comfortable with yourself. So all you have to do is go for a 20-minute walk every day.

[19:57] Go to the park, take a walk around the house. If there is nothing then go to the terrace. Now some people 20 Do I walk for 30 minutes? But I still feel alone. You must be doing it. But when we are talking about a shift , when you are starting a journey

[20:12] , then this is a little different walk than a normal walk. It has three simple instructions that you have to remember. The first rule is no targets. You don't have to go to any shop, nor do you have to go to buy milk or vegetables, nor do you have to keep your goal of 10 steps in mind.

[20:26] You have to walk emlesley. When there is no destination, the brain destination, the brain automatically relaxes. Second rule is no digital arm and no more. No headphones, no podcasts, no phone calls.

[20:38] We all have a habit of running away from our thoughts. That's why we put earphones in our ears. And this is the shield we have to remove. If you feel that you will get bored alone then that is what you have to learn. And as I said above, this is the first step to building a healthy human

[20:53] connection. What is? Solitude. The third rule is observation mode. If you are outside in a park or on the road, observe the people around you. Smile at a child. If there is a shopkeeper in front, look at him and nag him. And if you are alone on the terrace, just

[21:09] look at the surroundings, look at the stars, feel the breeze. The only target is to move away from the screen and connect with reality. The second shift is the guild system. Meaning your own micro community. Now you are walking for 20 minutes daily.

[21:22] Maybe living with my own thoughts does n't seem so scary anymore. So now it's time for the next shift. But before that, a big question. Do you think that one day you will go to a big party and your life will change through magic? You will

[21:34] suddenly have a big group of friends and life will be filled with people. This will not happen. This thinking is wrong. People think that to overcome loneliness, they will have to go to parties or attend big networking events. But this

[21:47] is very temporary. You might feel connected for 2 hours. But after coming home the same But after coming home the same loneliness returns. We do n't want temporary sessions. We need our tribe. A guild of our own. Guild

[22:01] means finding a group of people who share your interests. Those whose goals are similar to yours or who can do something together. As gamers know, missions are completed in the game by forming a guild [music]. We have to do this in real life also. Do

[22:15] n't look for the crowd. Find purpose. And trust me, when you find a connection with purpose [music], it's very special. So what to do? For the next 21 days, you have to find a group near you [music] where people

[22:29] meet for some activity or purpose. Your interest can be anything. If you like acting or dancing, you can join a local theatre group or a weekend dance class. If you like helping people then become a weekend volunteer in an NGO.

[22:42] Be it an animal shelter or teaching music to children or any community workshop going on in the local area , pottery making, painting , cycling club, running club, poetry workshop, whatever your common

[22:55] interest is. Now here you do not have to force anyone to talk to you because both of you have come there for a common activity and a big cause. So social anxiety and awkwardness end in the first step. If you are working together in an NGO

[23:08] , learning something new in a workshop, then the focus is not on the person, but on the work. The focus is not on humans, the focus is on work. And while working together without any pressure, you don't even realize when genuine connections are formed

[23:23] [in music]. The third shift is Rebuild the Core Connections. Ego reset. Mind reset with Agora walk. Got a new tribe from Gil. But now it is the turn of the most important shift. Many times we get disconnected from our closest loved ones just

[23:37] because of some hesitation or a busy schedule. We think that he must be busy in his life. Why should I disturb? Or the other person also stops thinking the same thing. We think there's a simple choice. But

[23:49] its impact on our health is not very deep. Harvard University conducted the longest running study in history, The Harvard Study of Adult Development. They closely tracked the entire lives of 724 people for 85 years. They did blood tests and brain

[24:04] scans to find out what is the secret to a long and healthy life? what is the secret to a long and healthy life? And his biggest conclusion wasn't money, success or fame. That was Core Connections. They found that people who are deeply connected to their family,

[24:18] siblings, and old friends are physically healthier and live longer. Data shows that people who were most satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the

[24:36] sharp for a long time. Memory loss started very late and his brain was able to handle physical pain better [music]. So before looking for new relationships, rebuild your existing core connections. In the next 21 days, take out 10 minutes every day and sit with the elders of the house

[24:53] [Music]. talk to them. Because as isolated as you are feeling, he is probably equally lonely.

[25:09] you? When life starts to get blurry, go back to the people who know your stuff [music]. So if you look carefully, these three shifts are not demanding hours of your time. Just a 15-20 minute walk every day. It's as simple as

[25:24] 15-20 minute walk every day. It's as simple as just 10 minutes a day to sit with an old friend or elders at home [music]. This is not a routine that requires you to put your entire life

[25:37] [music] checklist that will fit comfortably into your life. Give it a trial for the next 21 days and see for yourself. Then compare Day One [Music] and Day 21 and

[25:49] see if your screen time decreased? Did you start talking to an old friend ? Did conversations with elders in the house increase? And does walking alone feel as uncomfortable as it did before? If even one of these things has improved, then understand

[26:04] that you are not running away from loneliness. You are healing him. If you have seen the video till here then related to this video, must have felt it. So let me tell you that feeling [Music] Human. We are humans, that's why we feel like this. And it is possible that

[26:21] someone in your circle is struggling with this thing. Someone from outside might be saying I am fine. You may not be feeling this from within. So I would suggest that you must share this video in your circle, in WhatsApp groups, with friends. If we know that 43% of

[26:34] feel that people should know these things. transformed into solitude. They should know these life [music] shifts. Lastly, a small reminder that perhaps we are all quietly fighting a battle. But now it is

[26:47] our responsibility to fix it and get out of it. See you again in the next video. Till then stay happy and keep sharing happiness. I love you all.