How to Make Yourself Insanely Attractive

[00:02] start. 100 milliseconds means one-tenth of a second. What can you do in this time ? You can hardly even blink your eyes in this time. But research at Princeton discovered that opinions about you are formed within 100 milliseconds. Are

[00:14] you trustworthy or not, smart or not, likeable or not? And the scariest part is that when people get more time i.e. 1 second, 5 seconds or even a full 1 minute, their answers still do not change. This means that whatever is

[00:27] decided in the first 100 milliseconds is final. But wait, if everything gets decided in 100 milliseconds then how are those people winning who are average in looks and do not have any special talent. But why do people still follow such people

[00:39] what you think it is. Attraction is not about looks everywhere, in your school, in groups, online. If it were this way, the

[00:51] so? [MUSIC] No. Neither is money an attraction nor is confidence an attraction. So what is this attraction after all? Today I am going to tell you the same in this video. But first, understand that it's not just about not dating. That teacher

[01:03] answers are correct. What is that? Attraction. The group where plans are made What works there? Attraction. What is that Instagram profile that people visit but don't follow ? Attraction. It is a kind of

[01:19] invisible force that is silently controlling your entire life. And if you don't know how it works, then someone is already using it on you. So we will decode all the secrets of attraction in this video.

[01:31] So like it for the algorithm and play it at 1.25x for a better experience. Because from today onwards you are guaranteed to learn to look at people very differently. So let's first talk about the place where the pressure of attraction is

[01:43] highest, that is, in social and romantic settings. And the biggest lie that attraction only means good looks. But there is a study that will change your entire perspective. Researchers

[01:58] features and same phases. But one group was shown only that photo and the other group was told along with that photo that this person is kind, helpful, a good person. That is, a context was given. And do you know what the result was? The second

[02:12] rated the same faces as significantly more attractive. They were exactly the same faces. But just because of the context his entire perspective changed. This thing is called halo effect. The Halo Effect basically says that if your brain

[02:25] sees one good thing in anything, it assumes everything else to be good, means, if you find even one thing off in your first impression of someone, like he is not making eye contact brain decides that this person is boring. In a way, this guy

[02:40] is incompetent. Not worth my time. You won't even wait a second to listen to what he says. Your brain is subconsciously sending a signal to the other person's brain. That too every second. Now this thing is completely in your hands. You can decide

[02:54] what signal you want to send. But the main question is how do we control this signal now ? So you just observe one thing. First, look at a nervous person. Speaks very fast. Waves his hand. Cannot stay at one place.

[03:07] Now remember someone whom you considered genuinely confident. His body is in slow moments. There are measured words. Takes causes in between. Now this is programmed this way. Your brain associates speed with danger

[03:22] and quickness with a kind of control. That is why whenever someone subconsciously says that this person is not afraid of anything. It feels completely safe in itself. [MUSIC] And it's

[03:34] You have to keep this thing in mind even when you are talking. absorb it. Because whenever you take a pose, the person in front will associate that pose

[03:46] with silence. And that silence in a way shows that you are very comfortable with yourself. Which intern indicates that you are very confident. Hello guys, sorry to interrupt the video. But I had to tell you all a very important

[03:59] announcement. I have listened to you. [Music] A lot of you were saying, brother, bring more psychological content and more videos. So I've created a new psychological challenge, the name of which might be appearing on your screen right now. In

[04:11] fact, I will mention its link in the first line of the description also. [Music] So I want you to go and subscribe to it right now because all the psychological content that comes out in the future will come on that channel. So make [music]

[04:23] sure you subscribe to it. And sorry to interrupt your video again. You which you might find a little strange. If you want someone to like you, do what your common sense tells you. Go do something for that [music].

[04:36] Help him. Give me a favor. Isn't it? But doing this can be the biggest mistake of your life. Because Benjamin Franklin had a rival in the early 1700s. To put it bluntly, a man who hated him intensely. Now Benjamin Franklin did

[04:49] not give her any favors to woo her. Instead, I asked that guy for a favor. He said that give me some time to study ? Now the guy was a little shocked but still he gave that book. But Benjamin Franklin's arrow hit the target perfectly. The

[05:02] fellow slowly and gradually became Franklin's friend. See at which age he hated them and at which age he still wanted to be friends. All this happened because Franklin asked him for a favor. It sounds a bit crazy.

[05:15] you will know this thing. When that guy helped Franklin, two options came to his mind. Either he accepts that I did a favor over my rival, truth. Or decide that no, no,

[05:28] probably why I helped him. What does your brain do now? That's why Brain chose the easy option and changed his feelings. This is called cognitive dissonance in psychology. See, whenever your actions and

[05:42] beliefs do not match, your brain modifies the beliefs to talk practically then its application is very simple. Ask anyone for a small favor like, friend, please recommend which book should I read? Or brother, tell me a good

[05:55] coffee shop where I can go. If you want to develop a friendship with anyone then these are one of the best conversation starters. Here you are basically Now after understanding this, another thing comes which is validation. Now

[06:08] validation is just part of your brain's wiring. Look, every person at some level desperately wants someone to listen to him. Someone take him seriously. Someone should make him feel that brother, what you say also matters. And majority of people do

[06:21] not do this in conversation. Majority of the people are just waiting for the other person to become if you want to implement it practically then what do you have to do? Just three words to remember. The first is then, the second is what and the third is happened. What happened after that?

[06:36] sharing a story, then just interrupt and say what happened next. Just with these three words you signal to the other person that I am genuinely interested in your world. I am actually interested in what you are saying. And that

[06:49] genuinely interested in listening to me, that feeling is very addictive. The person in front of you will be drawn towards you again and again because you are giving him something that no one else is giving him. So by now you've seen

[07:03] how attraction works in social settings. But there is another world where the rules tell you with an example. There must be one boy or girl in your group whom everyone likes. Teachers, friends, seniors, everyone. And neither are

[07:16] you sitting on the other side and watching that guy is not doing anything special. Not the best looking. But perhaps for some reason, when he comes into the group, the energy of the entire group changes. And

[07:29] whenever any teams are formed, projects are made or any plan is made, his name comes first. And you come to the other side. You are the person who is doing everything right. Studies, behavior, everything. But still, in a way, you are invisible to everyone.

[07:43] is very frustrating because maybe you are starting to feel that there is not your fault. There is only one thing you have not been taught and that is perceived in simple language, how important people consider you. Look, understand this thing

[07:59] carefully. I am not talking about how important you think you are, but how important people think you are. These two are completely different things and this is the gap that can explain everything.

[08:11] Look, that guy who is everyone's favorite, his talent is no more than yours, but his brain has understood one thing which your brain has not yet understood, that every person is subconsciously working like a calculation in every interaction. Everyone

[08:23] just thinks what will I get by spending time with this person. So if talking to you gives someone energy, laughter or learns something new, then people will automatically be drawn towards you. But on the other hand, if after talking to you

[08:35] people get complaints, negativity or just awkward silence, then people will move away from there. Look, while all this is happening, no one will slowly you will see that people are moving away from you. So now the question arises that

[08:48] what should we do to counter this thing? Remember the first rule: be the one to give first. Meaning, help anyone genuinely without any expectations. that brother, this work was really very good. Include someone new in your group

[09:02] who no one is talking to. All this seems like very small things when you hear it. But behind this a very powerful mechanism works which is the law of reciprocity. Whenever you give something to someone without any reason,

[09:14] an invisible depth is created in his brain. Meaning, he will never consciously think that I have to return this favor. But subconsciously his brain will register this thing. His brain will register that this person is valuable to me.

[09:27] I can't get away from this. And then after doing this thing, the same thing happens which you always wanted. Everybody talks to you. Your name appears everywhere. You are included everywhere. But here is a big mistake which almost

[09:40] Look, many of us might have heard this advice that be vulnerable, be real, share your problems. And this advice is not wrong because whenever you are real in front of someone, trust is built. But there is a fine line

[09:53] difference in this and due to that fine line difference, attraction can convert into repulsion. You have to understand the difference between the two words. The first is Scar and the second is Wand. Scar means something bad happened to you. Now you've gone through it and

[10:06] you can talk about it. You are able to say that yes brother this happened to me. it was hard. But now I am fine. Whenever you say such a thing, the other person will develop a lot of respect for you. But on the other side comes

[10:18] wound. That means you are still in the same pain. And in every conversation you are throwing the same pain on the other person. That means your words are always like, friend, everything is bad. Something is not going right. no one understands me. Look, the person in front

[10:31] will hear it for the first time. Will sympathize a second time. But from the third time onwards he will start avoiding you. he will definitely run away from you. Because no one wants to be with a person who drains their energy. So always

[10:46] make this a big rule of your life that first process it yourself, write it, think about it, talk to a trusted person and then when you feel that this has now become my past story. I have nothing to do with this right now, so go and share that thing.

[10:58] look attractive. Before that it's just a kind of weight that you're putting on someone else's shoulders. And when you feel that this has now become my past story, I no longer have any connection with it, only then go and share it with the other person. Because at that

[11:11] moment that vulnerability will become attractive. Before that, you will just keep putting your weight not attractive at all. After that there is another important thing that I want to point out. Have that whenever a difficult situation arises, a scene happens, there is drama in the group

[11:26] or someone panics, have you ever noticed who people look towards? Does he look at the loudest person ? No. People always look to the calmest person in the group because our brain

[11:39] look for calmness in a crisis. Our brain subconsciously assumes that the person who is the calmest must have some plan and I want you to be that person in your group. Next time a chaotic situation arises, stop.

[11:53] Wait for 3 seconds. Just be quiet, be calm and then speak. Remember, those 3 seconds of silence will make you the most powerful person in that room. And this is the thing I want you to remember for life. After 2 years, when you go for an interview, go to college,

[12:06] go to any group discussion or in any high pressure moment of life, you have to remember that you have to remain calm for just 3 seconds because those 3 seconds will decide everything for you. So, so far we have seen social and group dynamics.

[12:20] But there is another type of attraction which is completely different from these two. But now we are going to talk about a type of attraction which is very rare, which is intellectual attraction. So tell me one thing, has it ever happened to you

[12:32] that you are talking to someone randomly, maybe in the bus, in tuition or in some gathering and suddenly you come to know that that person also watches the same TV series that you play. Just rewind your mind and remember what

[12:46] exactly happens at that moment. 2 minutes ago you were strangers and after 2 minutes you are talking as if you know each other for years. And all the processes that happen in between like building trust, breaking awkwardness, being comfortable, everything gets

[12:59] this is not any type of magic. Basically your brain is taking a shortcut. And a simple concept works behind this which is similarity attraction effect. And if you listen to its mechanism, you will enjoy it a lot. Your

[13:12] a core inside your brain. Your identity, your real me. Which basically defines who you are after all? Now whenever you meet someone who shares a specific thing with you, be it a TV show , a series, a game or even the same genre of

[13:28] music, your brain takes it in very massively. He thinks that if this one thing matches then this person will definitely understand me on a deeper level. It is possible that our world view matches, values match, sense of humor matches, everything

[13:41] happens. But only in assumptions. That's why you instantly click with this person. Basically, your brain decides here interest becomes even more powerful when that shared

[13:54] interest is very rare. For example, if both of them like cricket then it is a But what if you find someone who watches the same anime that no one else in the class watches ? That bond with that person will

[14:07] go to a different level because rarity creates exclusivity. Your brain basically thinks that there are very few people in the world who can understand this thing and this person is one of them. This person is special to me. This is my human.

[14:19] That's why no doubt you are able to spend a good time with your common friend. with whom your niche interests match gives you a different feeling. your brain is doing this thing automatically without telling you.

[14:35] Now if I want to execute this practically, how will I do it? There are two things. First of all, never hide your weird interests. I am not very serious here. Whatever you like, whether people call it cringe or whatever,

[14:47] you should share it with the world. Because that's what will , you are hiding exactly the signal that will bring your own tribe to you. Now comes the second thing, when you talk about your passion, don't

[15:03] apologize. Never say, " Sorry brother, I am a little nerdy." Never devalue yourself because whenever you talk about anything with excitement from within, your eyes sparkle. Speed ​​increases. Your hands start

[15:16] shaking and that energy is very contagious. This time people are attracted by your energy. Now that excitement of yours openly share one of his weird things with you. And remember, whenever two people

[15:31] share their real interests without any filter, that's where a real connection only at the surface level. So just remember one thing, whatever weirdness you have is weirdness is basically a kind of hidden magnet that you have that you can attract

[15:46] So till now we have seen three things basically social setting, group dynamic and intellectual connections. But there's another world where these rules apply but with a twist [music] because in that world

[16:00] With any type you can't show body language , can't show eye contact, ca n't show energy. But still, some people create such a strong connection through that screen you know them personally. So I'm talking about social media attraction.

[16:14] So if I were to explain social media attraction to you, if you have opened someone's social media account. Suppose you opened his Instagram for just 3 seconds. So in just those 3 seconds you decide whether this guy is interesting?

[16:26] give it my time or not? Just try to imagine this thing. In 3 seconds someone is judging your entire personality without meeting you, without hearing your voice , without knowing you. And you also do this thing subconsciously

[16:40] In real life you have a lot of tools. Like body language, eye contact, tone of voice, energy. But online you have a screen, a And just think about this thing.

[16:54] With all these limited things you have to do whatever you do naturally in real life. works which is non-age parasocial bond. Meaning basically that feeling when you though you have never met him. If you have a favorite creator, Uber,

[17:08] streamer, anyone who you think, dude [music] this guy is just like me, man. He will definitely understand me. If you talk to him some day, look, you have never met me nor has he ever heard your name, but you genuinely feel

[17:20] that you know him or that he will understand me. Now tell me how did this feeling develop from just one thing, which is stories. Look, you will forget facts, you will forget statistics, but you will always remember stories, stories [music]. Whenever someone is

[17:34] telling you a story, your brain is not processing it as information, experience. Here your brain is basically feeling the same thing that the storyteller is feeling. That's why your eyes fill with tears while watching any sad movie

[17:47] or you start crying when any emotional scene comes. Even though you know that this is just acting, the brain does not understand this difference. So if I take this to the online world, suppose you get 92% in 10th. You have to

[17:59] tell it online. So if you write that you got 92% in class 10, then no one is going to just modify it and write it in such a way that your hands were shaking on the day of the result. The website

[18:11] crashed, brother. Papa was standing next to me. Was not saying a single word. But when I finally opened the page and saw the numbers, everything became blurry because brother, tears came to my eyes. I was not giving any information. But in one they seemed to be just facts and in the other they

[18:24] seemed to be a kind of experience. You just have to do exactly this. Whenever you are sharing anything on social media, create a story. Whether you are making it with a photo , text or a story.

[18:36] You can easily make a story out of anything. And one thing that is most important in the online world But this does not mean that you wake up every morning and put your entire life on the internet. Do put your entire life on the internet. Do

[18:49] processed. Your journeys, [music] your struggles, your failures, all these things you can share online in the form of a story. is the biggest currency and trust can be built only when the other person feels that the

[19:03] person sitting in front of him is real. It has not applied any type of perfectionism filter. this thing is the rarest in this generation. Everyone wants to look perfect here. Everyone has to project the best version of themselves. And in all this, if you find a genuinely

[19:15] real person with perfection and honesty, then he looks so refreshing that people get attracted towards him. So basically, never be to look cool. Your goal should be very simple

[19:28] he should feel that I am a real person. I am a human being just like him and I we covered a lot of things in this entire video. Psychology, experiments, tricks, concepts. But even if you forget everything, just remember one thing. Look, the

[19:44] most attractive people aren't the ones who look the best or talk the most. most attractive people are those who make you feel that you matter to them. I wanted to keep this video very

[19:56] short, simple and to the point. I hope you liked this video. I will meet you in the next video with another interesting topic. Till then, keep hustling, keep learning and as always keep inspiring.