S̶i̶l̶k̶s̶o̶n̶g̶ NakeyJakey is Outdated

[00:00] Hey, howdy, how's it going? That's your girl. I'm making chicken. I ate it. I sleep one, two, two, three. 10 years ago, on Monday, November 30th, 2015, I uploaded a YouTube video called Games

[00:23] That Should Bang, Grand Theft Auto 5, and Metal Gear Solid 5. I always did have a knack for short click-bady titles. For seven of those ten years, Team Cherry, a very small game developer from Australia, was

[00:36] working on one thing. The highly anticipated sequel to their hit-game Hollow Knight, Colin Silksong. Silksong finally came out in September to everyone's surprise and proceeded to crash every gaming

[00:50] storefront known to man, and I proceeded to play the absolute devil out of it. So naturally, being a YouTube video essayist critic who gives a shit, I thought to myself, oh, I just got to make a video about this.

[01:05] But then I had even more thoughts. Thoughts about myself and my experience as a game critic. Thoughts about what value game critics even hold. Thoughts like, why do I, of all people, a dumbass from South Dakota with a high school level

[01:21] education possess any right or platform to cast my, but now thoughts into an oversaturated sea of men standing in front of green screens going, are you a 22 to 34-year-old male that remembers nostalgia, remember Xbox, remember Mountain Dew, and your innocence, remember the

[01:39] Titans? Wait, isn't that like your whole thing? Yeah, and your thing is constantly saying stupid shit like, this is too linear, and this is too outdated, and if every game isn't either Fallout, New Vegas, or Dark Souls, me,

[01:52] and my ball are gonna growl at you. But you are not the one at least trying to make Starfield. You are not the one at least trying to make the last of us part two, bro.

[02:04] You are not the thinker. You are the one barely managing to write a script right now in between your pro-long bathroom sessions of scrolling YouTube shorts for 30 minutes, and you are the one who just used the wrong your back there. Okay, what is happening, right?

[02:17] It even qualifies as a good sequel in the eyes of the self-appointed online critic YouTube fucker anyway. Is it getting more of the same but bigger, better, and more badass? Is it the overt?

[02:29] Ha ha, remember that one? Fan service? Is it defying expectations and just pissing everyone off and saying, all right, fuck it. Here's Ryden. Have fun. He's gonna get his gummy worm out later. And he does naked gummy worm cartwheels too. Yeah, it's probably a lot of those things, I'm like a case by case basis.

[02:43] That's the genius title going to be this time, you 10-year yoga yapping, yocal bitch. Team Cherry's game design is outdated. It's different this time, damn it. How about Team Cherry's game design is frustrating.

[02:55] Team Cherry's game design is brilliant. Team Cherry's game design is punishing, satisfying, obtuse, enthralling, clever, good, bad, complicated, simple, but it's not just one fucking word, when you finally realize after doing this trivial slot for a decade, that nothing in no one can ever be summed up by

[03:12] just one...

[03:42] Okay, so I'm definitely going through some sort of midlife crisis as far as the trajectory of my career goes, but all of that aside, I really do want to make a good, interesting

[03:57] review on silk song, but what even is a good review when everything is so incredibly subjective? I mean, I guess my hope is that when you're watching my videos, you're always seeing it through the lens that this is one man's deranged thoughts and not an objective opinion

[04:11] that everyone should have. But what if my videos had a numbered score at the end of them, and that score was aggregated on Metacritic, and that score brought down the overall Metacritic rating, and now the

[04:23] developer failed to meet the publisher's expectations and people lose their jobs. I mean, fuck it, Microsoft kills companies that get good Metacritic scores. Suddenly, a subjective opinion carries a lot more responsibility with it.

[04:36] I'm not saying mine necessarily does thank God, but still, if your opinion is potentially going to be seen by millions of people, and it's the thing that pays your bills and you throw a sponsor in the middle of it, it all just starts to get a little weird if you

[04:49] think about it too much, which I definitely am not, I would never. But at the same time, obviously, we need criticism. No one has all the time in the day to shovel through mountains of music, movies, TV shows,

[05:03] and games to figure out what's good and what's dog shit. Games are even weirder though because they demand something of you, an active participation where what could be extremely hard and inaccessible for one is binky, dinky, bullshit, baby,

[05:15] tummy time for others. Not to mention, some are asking you for $70 or $80 now, and even the good ones can still release as a stuttering, shader-compiling, unreal amount of issues, engine 5, RTX on DLSS

[05:28] 8D, DVD, DVD, DVD, DVD, dead, I'm on the board, sorry. But even if Silksong is your cup of tea, which it certainly is mine, it is also really fucking hard. Not much has certainly been established, but is it too hard?

[05:43] And is it so hard that the Metacritic score should be lowered because of its too hardness? And what does too hard necessarily even mean? What does too hard even look like?

[05:55] What does too hard feel like? What does too hard sound like? Okay, you're cut off, so let's try to break down hardness into two things, difficulty and punishment. I came across this really great comment by user Jade Malo on Reddit during the Silksong

[06:10] difficulty discourse that broke down the fundamental difference between D and P really well. Difficulty is the mechanical demand on the player during gameplay, how fun. Whether it's precise physical inputs during a platformer or action game, or mental

[06:26] acuity or problem solving ability during a puzzle or strategy game. And punishment is what happens when the player fails to meet those demands. You fall into a hole, you gotta restart the line.

[06:38] You die from a boss, you gotta go back to the bonfire. You accidentally skip a cutscene where you didn't mean to in a Kojima game and now you are just so fucking confused. Who is Mr. Korndog, man, and how am I ever supposed to figure out what his favorite microwavable

[06:50] frozen snack is? Celeste, really high difficulty, extremely low punishment. Difficulty on my made up graph here is like an eight, punishment is like a one. If we split the difference, we can calculate an overall bullshit factor of 4.5.

[07:03] Balotro over here is like the polar opposite. Pretty low second to second difficulty demand on the player, let's say like a two, however, very high punishment because when you fail, you have to start your entire run over, but each run is pretty short, so I don't know, let's say like a seven, giving an overall bullshit

[07:18] factor of 4.5. But what about something like Resident Evil? Mechanically, it's pretty difficult, mostly just because the fucking tank controls. But it's really the punishment that is often brutal. Game rooms are the only checkpoints in the game, so if you die, you will always go back

[07:31] to the last time you saved. But in order to save, you have to use these ink ribbon items, and there's a finite amount of them in the game. God damn. So a difficulty demand of like, I don't know, 5, but a punishment of like 9, and if we have

[07:46] our hamster crunch our numbers, we can get a bullshit factor of 7. Ooh, definitely not a game for everyone. But what about Resident Evil 4? Mechanically, it's a lot more demanding now because it's full on action, but the punishment

[08:00] is way more chill. You get an automatic checkpoint at the beginning of every new room you waltz into, so if you die, it's okay, we aren't just trying it. So although the difficulty demand is a bit higher, let's say 6.5, I don't know, none of these

[08:12] numbers are real, but the punishment is more chill, let's say like a three, giving a bullshit factor of 4.75, making it way more accessible to way more gamers, leading to way more people actually reaching the end of the game, which you should, there's a jet ski. Oh my god, I just spoiled the fucking jet ski, I'm so fucking sorry.

[08:26] Also Mark Brown of Game Maker's toolkit dropped a video about silk song and difficulty, and basically just explained everything I just did, but way better and more effectively, and he also used the graph, and I watched that, and I was like, man, I did not go to college.

[08:39] Okay, that's enough for that, I think it's time for me to talk. You know, no, actually you shut the fuck up and wait a second, because I actually made merch for once to commemorate this whole 10 years of dog shit thing on ballcreative.store,

[08:52] but you know what, I'm gonna take the talking stick for a second, okay? We got some serious pieces, okay? You guys remember the thank you for watching, Ariel Fond, also sometimes I've written it down. Do you remember the Tom Hanks shirt?

[09:04] We got a Jacob Hanks shirt now. There was that one time I sat on a ball, a ballcreative LLC, we got the big graphic on the back, ballcreative.store, okay? All right, lawyer, it's your turn, go keep our lights on.

[09:17] Okay, thank you, I guess now it's my turn with the talking stick. Hi, I'm Jakey, Jakey, and Jakey, a turn of law. Thank you to RocketMoney for sponsoring today's video.

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[10:26] Take control of your finances today. Click the link in the description, or scan the QR code on screen right now to get started for free. Thanks again to RocketMoney. Wow, for sponsoring this video, and now let's get back to the Naked Jacob Power Hour.

[10:38] What's he doing this time? He's probably... Check this out. He's probably so outdated. He's just like a mangled bag of bones in the sawdust, but he's still wearing a really

[10:51] cool tap out shirt that says something like, paint his just freakiness leaving the body in a snapback that says, whatever. Okay, I'll miss you.

[11:03] But within DNP, there's more specific types of F, or friction, some being nice heavenly friction, and some being evil little frickers, or more like split friction.

[11:17] Go ahead and write that down. I'm going to need that freaking frictionary to keep up with this guy. And yeah, I am the teacher's pet in case you were wondering. Going back to Resident Evil, you could argue the high punishment is necessary, though, because it provides stakes.

[11:29] It gives you something to lose, makes you think more carefully about your decisions the next time. But most importantly, that friction is a fundamental tool to immerse you into a world that is supposed to make you feel poor, lost, and scared, or PLS.

[11:46] Please write that down as well. You got it, teach, I'm still the teacher's pet. Example of a bad friction, a little fricker, grand theft out of trilogy on the Sony PS2. You drive across the big ass map to start a mission.

[11:59] During the mission, you drive back to the other side of the big ass map, somewhere along the way you die to some random bullshit. To awaken at a hospital with less money, none of your weapons, and on top of that, now you get to drive all the way back across the map just to start the mission over again.

[12:14] GTA IV added the immediate retry text message, which was huge and then Red Dead Redemption and onward just had full on automatic checkpoints during the missions. Where for better or worse now, there's like zero stakes, vastly decreasing the punishment

[12:26] to like a one, while also making the difficulty like a two or three, calculating a bullshit factor of two, making them extremely accessible to gamers of all skill levels and sold like a trillion copies. I don't really know, man. I never really played.

[12:38] I've got a game cast. But it has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that in the year 2025, AD, gamers love getting the ass beat. Dark Souls, especially at the time of its release, was like triple nine difficulty punishment

[12:51] bullshit factor. It is straight up obnoxious to a new player, but it also wouldn't be nearly as memorable or meaningful an experience if it didn't beat your ass in the manner it does, while also having such a rich world full of unexplained secrets making you say, please.

[13:06] But Dark Souls is far from perfect and also has some really bad frictional aspects as well. Aka how nothing is balanced at all and you can get cursed by frogs and some runbacks are just obnoxious to be obnoxious in some areas run like shit and some areas just aren't finished.

[13:22] But Dark Souls inspired a billion games after it, including Hollow Knight. While playing silk song, I thought about a lot of different Souls games. But more specifically, Elden Ring, Shadow of the Urd Tree because I feel they have a lot

[13:35] in common. Urd Tree, more so than any Souls game prior, cranked that difficulty knob so goddamn high and nearly broke off the Miyazaki Flux capacitor. But it also had relatively low punishment a lot of the time, at least when it comes to many

[13:48] of the boss fights. From soft gradually realized that, hey, um, do you guys think that maybe forcing the player to do a runback every single time they want to attempt a really hard boss might be a pointless

[14:03] waste of time that offers no stimulating challenge beyond proving you can do the same thing over and over again? Per chance? Yes. But we can still do the fucked up swamp level, right?

[14:15] Well, yeah. I mean, come on. Oh see, come on, come on, come on, I love working here, we're also fucked up. That's why most bosses have a checkpoint right outside the door.

[14:28] Now they can have a boss that two shots you with a never ending 20 hit combo without fully maximizing that bullshit meter to where I stop playing. Although, sometimes I got pretty fucking close. Some of those fuckers were just way too fast, it's like they went back to making Sekiro bosses,

[14:44] but with Dark Souls 3 combat. And you just get to die a billion times until you can finally differentiate which combos actually end and which ones just extend between infinity. And I soloed the last boss at launch before they nerfed him, and I footage of it to

[15:00] prove it. So don't you dare reduce any possible criticism to get good, buddy. I had a whole video about Earth Tree that I actually canceled because it just wasn't very good. And a lot of my complaints at the time did sort of just boil down to skill issue.

[15:15] But I had a pre-release review copy and everything courtesy of Bandai Namco. I probably should have put the video out. Actually, that's my bad. Sorry about that one. My theory is that the main reason many people are saying Skong is too hard is because when

[15:31] they up that difficulty knob, they did not also adjust that punishment knob accordingly. Combat platforming and bosses are all typically much more demanding than a lot of Hollow Knight 1.

[15:43] Certain enemies hit you for two masks. Most bosses hit you for two masks. Hell, even environmental hazards sometimes hit you for two masks. And you only start with five, so if my calculus is correct, that's a three mistake wiggle room

[15:56] you're rocking with. And even when you finally get a six mask after hunting down four different mask shards, you still die in three hits because six divided by two is still three. So why don't I just start with six masks to make that first new mask actually hit once

[16:08] I got it? You got me over here doing fucking bug math. But like Hollow Knight 1, the punishment for failure is having to repeat sometimes long, short, but oftentimes tedious, run back sections just to get another crack at a boss you have

[16:22] zero knowledge on. And three mistakes to quickly try and learn that boss before once again walking your white bug ass back to eight mile. Which this is really the core nugget and central thing I was trying to get to this whole time.

[16:34] When is it fun to repeat stuff? Because okay, in an effort to be a fair critic, per chance we look at it a different way. One could argue silky is actually predominantly a platformer that just heavily features combat

[16:46] and in many platformers, the punishment for failure is having to complete many sections that you have already completed because that's where the sense of accomplishment often stems from. It's like fighting Bowser at the end of a Mario level, but this Bowser booth's creativity.

[16:58] And finally beating Booth Bowser might not be as satisfying if the stakes of really not wanting to do that fucking run back again weren't there. Remember stakes and punishment and friction and all that stuff. Well, we talked about it.

[17:12] Also, I felt that proving I can get to the last judge boss fight over and over didn't really add anything to my eventual sense of accomplishment when I beat it. It's just a bunch of time spent I know I will never get back. But hold on there, Yogi Bear.

[17:25] To counter my counter, I then read the article, Hollow Knight Silk Song's hardest checkpoint and why I like it by Lee Brady. On my favorite gaming publication, I've definitely heard of before trueachievements.com.

[17:37] And Lee made a pretty damn compelling argument in favor of this notorious run back's inclusion. Essentially saying that this sharp jump in difficulty right at the end of Act 1 is a final test

[17:49] to the player to make sure that they can hang once it gets really fucked up in Act 2. The player fueled by their impatience and frustration will likely get much better at platforming simply because they want to get through this ass play as fast as possible.

[18:04] Lee even discovering shortcuts along the way via nail bouncing which is certainly a skill Act 2 wants you to be pretty fucking good at. And with this particular now infamous run back to the last judge, I surprisingly might actually

[18:17] side with Lee Brady on this one. You know what? Fuck it. Shout out trueachievements.com. They should pay me for all these shout outs they're getting. But also in perchance, let me just say this when I finally did beat the last judge, I fucking

[18:30] died from the explosion because my dumbass put the controller down. Bro, most bosses do like an explosion effect thing when they die but this one actually fucking exploded. And now I get to do all of that over again because apparently I send a lot in a past life.

[18:44] But even if you're in the camp that thinks runbacks are a key component of this game, what about all the runbacks that don't really have anything going on? If every death requires me to mindlessly run back to a bathroom.

[18:59] I gotta run to a bathroom and shit my pants. If every death requires me to mindlessly run back to a boss room without any actual challenge thrown my way, then what is the point of the runbacks inclusion at all other than just

[19:12] adding hours to my overall play time? I'm legit asking you, yes, you, whoever is watching this right now, am I being a crazy impatient iPad baby? I'm legit asking you right now, be honest with me, go down in the comments, let me know,

[19:27] do I need a binky and a binky and a baby Bjorn to cruise around in, let's start a fucking, let's start a poll, let's hear from the people, let's get a started, shout out Black Eyed Beast, let's get it started.

[19:39] Do not look up the original lyrics that song though. And do not even get it, Black Eyed Beast started on the dirty dog shit piece of hogwash, hog calling contest that is quarrel tower. Having to wait for Hornet to wake up, play the song again, wake up again, launch up into

[19:56] the room, get into the room, and then finally attempt the marathon of three separate Hell and a Cells full of freaky flyer miles that take a billion fucking hits to kill, every single

[20:10] time you die is so wildly unnecessary in fucking infuriating, I'm spitting right now, honestly that runback of just having to wait for Coral Tower piss me off more than any of the actual

[20:25] fights in this game because it turned out the hardest boss was the fucking clock in my house, but you would not believe his backstory, it's demented as shit. The nicest thing I could say about Coral Tower is that at least your fucking weapon tools don't run out because you're going into a dream, I use the hunter's crest, you're a hunter,

[20:45] you're a hunter, you're going into a dream, you get fucked up by Krozen, this is just bloodborne. I know how many people I have recommended Bloodborne to who quickly bounced off it just because the beginning is so goddamn impossible to a new player, I have been racking my brain

[21:01] for years trying to understand why Bloodborne chose to have finite healing vials and bullets, I really want to understand the seemingly obtuse design choice of letting the player easily fall into the negative loop of, I'm dying because I used up all my blood vials but I can't

[21:17] get more blood vials because I can't stop dying, alright well my whole point is that when it comes to many aspects of silk song, it's kind of the same shit, if you want to use the very cool tool weapons during very difficult boss fights, you're first gonna have to stock

[21:32] up on shards by grinding enemies or by purchasing shard bundles, I actually gamified the crap out of this once I was in act 2 by getting really good at fighting these big guys in this long ass hallway, and I just do it until I had like a thousand rosaries to spend on shard bundles

[21:46] and everything else that's expensive as fuck because the rosary economy is in the gutter, no bosses can't even afford to have any, you are so seriously PL asked up for so much of this game if you don't grind because the majority of bosses give you jack shit, like

[22:02] even dropping a couple Benjamin's would really help me out, I think what they wanted to do with shards is give you an extra incentive to engage with enemies while you're out exploring other than just rosaries, but I think you could still achieve that if resting at a bench,

[22:17] at least always refilt your tools like 30%, hell no I'm at it, do the same thing for Bloodborne, and at least give me like 3 blood files, okay 2, okay 5 just give me 1 god dammit

[22:30] Bloodborne has super tedious runbacks and overly punishing difficulty and fucked up birds that will make you want to throw up, it also has one of the most engrossing worlds that I've ever experienced in a video game that shoves its claws deep into your fucking skull and

[22:43] refuses to ever let go and some of the finest boss battles ever crafted by human ants, it is one of the best games I've ever played that it's extremely hard to recommend to any of my friends, put Silk's song in that fucking mad live and now we're finally getting somewhere,

[22:57] okay critical jitter could go fuck off and flick his clitical, okay in go get analytical spiritual miracle, you're now just talking with a 30 year old man who really loves a game about bugs, I want to tell you about a bench, this is a bench in Tomkin Square Park East Village,

[23:25] New York, I sat on a piece just like this for dozens of hours in 2020 while I was writing a video called Naughty Dogs Game Design is outdated, saying an entire company's game design is outdated

[23:37] is certainly a choice, yeah but I do stand by the vast majority of what I said in that video and I continue to have strong feelings about that game and that story to this day, not because I don't

[23:51] want it to exist or oh fuck that game I don't care it's the opposite it's actually because I care so much about it existing at all but I also think with the culture of YouTube and advertising at large if you want your stuff to actually be seen by an audience you also kind of got to play

[24:07] the game a little bit and Naughty Dogs Game Design is outdated is a lot more intriguing and succinct than Naughty Dogs Game Design is super insanely impressive in a thousand different ways in one of the best third person shooters ever but the clear dissonance between how the cutscenes and gameplay

[24:21] handle the incredibly graphic violence that is central to the story feels empty outlandish and outdated. Saying that Fallout 3 is garbage sounds pretty brutal but then you watch that video and you're like

[24:33] yeah man especially compared to New Vegas Fallout 3 is pretty garbage but also without Fallout 3 there is no New Vegas or Skyrim so obviously there is merit to that game but Fallout 3 is garbage is a lot

[24:45] more intriguing and succinct than Fallout 3 is important but is also a really bad RPG with very poor writing and narrow choices that completely disrespect the design philosophy of prior entries in the series. I mean to be fair I probably would click on a video title that as well by the way in no

[25:01] world is this me going after each bomber guy of all people are you fucking kidding me I wouldn't worse I wouldn't worse than I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy I love bro and his videos do not misinterpret me for the love of God but on YouTube at large when it comes to gaming video essay review

[25:18] type videos there does seem to be a specific tone in type of video that is popping up more and more often I'm speaking with the attitude that I know better than the people who actually manage to create something against all odds and I want my viewers to also feel a sense of superiority

[25:34] because hating stuff is easier than making it also I think Margot Robbie is meant like once again to myself included bro we are not the thinker I promise I'm doing this because I just really care about the medium and I'm not just carelessly looking around for things to shit on but have I

[25:50] mentioned that I 100% of this game and played it for 80 hours and frequently felt like I was having a once every 10 years transcendent gaming experience because that all feels pretty important too yes this game is probably too hard for a lot of people and has some frictionary design concepts that I am

[26:06] not that crazy about but I am crazy about this game so crazy that it put me in an existential crisis listen to this bug is that even a design concept I don't even want just give it a 10 already and

[26:22] let's fucking move on playing through the vast majority of this game without looking anything up definitely led to some really difficult moments but it also gave me what I am finally after years and years and years realizing is my favorite emotion that is possible from playing a video game child

[26:39] like wonder this shit is endless this world feels infinite how are there this many different enemies in this many different bosses in this many different bug NPCs in this many amount this

[26:52] word is starting to feel weird I've said it too many times amount of secret walls that open up entirely new areas every bug sings their own individual song do you realize how many fucking bugs are in this game I whip my needle out constantly and was so consistently shocked by the results I

[27:10] mean just look at this shit I know a lot of you just fucking spin past that spoiler warning at the beginning of the video and

[27:34] now maybe you'll go play the game and you should because I guarantee you will still be so surprised by so many things in this game because this video would need to be like nine hours long in order for me to spoil all of it learning to move through this world with the speed and precision and grace

[27:49] of like an offer on roller skates we had to mention counter strike one time is you for it like I you you can't really explain to someone how good this game feels unless they actually play it because of all the animations she does the fucking Castlevania shit the bosses in silk song have such an incredible

[28:05] pacing to them so many fights feel like this pitch perfect harmonious duet that you and bro are singing together until someone eventually dies discovering the mist slowly realizing the lost woods

[28:19] ass style way to navigate it reaching the exhaust organ encountering the mother fucker maestro inside responsible for your soundtrack experiencing what is arguably my favorite boss fight in the whole game

[28:34] and then on top of that you get a fucking periability are you pulling my leg off right now stop experiencing that shit on a steam deck in bed at like 4 a.m. has already cemented itself as one of my

[28:47] favorite memories from any game I have ever played oh the runback for phantom is kind of annoying though because it's just these mindless gaspats you better shut the goddamn hell up right now do not

[28:59] make me send you back to mr. corn dog because I fuck well I'll fucking send you back to the corn dog bro who gives a shit that the runback is a little annoying do you hear this music playing right now I mean I don't because I'm in a fallout shelter but you it's you do I'm sure it's

[29:15] night it must be nice must be nice Christopher Larkin what gives you the goddamn right you have the audacity to write music this good and not put the main battle theme on Spotify what the fuck yes this

[29:34] theme one that often plays during those hell and assails is one of my favorite songs in the entire game it got me fired up every single time I heard it and somehow has the perfect concoction of like determination and fear and uncertainty and I just really like it and you decided to leave it off

[29:52] the official soundtrack mr. Larkin because someone hmm wanted to see my ball growl and let me just also say this she's an old dog but she still barked the way this game conveys the crooked nature of

[30:08] this corrupt bug world through its environments dialogue and gameplay is second to no one I can't note some my phone to remember things like a door that I would need to return to or an NPC I just thought was really interesting and I liked finding loam hearing his pain grunting and dialogue running

[30:25] on the little treadmill next to him to only eventually be rewarded with one rosary along with loam's praise it all paints such a vivid and devastating picture of what's going on here it's similar to

[30:39] the confession booth you can pay 25 rosaries for it literally does nothing you can do it a billion times it will always do nothing and that's amazing one of the only times I look something up in this game was

[30:51] in bile water the most bullshit part of this game by far and now infamous platforming gauntlet through poison where one of your rewards is a fake bench that drops you right back into poison my brother mentioned that there was actually another secret bench to make the most brutal run back in the game by

[31:07] far easier and I just got really tired of trying to look for it so I eventually caved and googled it but that search inadvertently revealed to me that there was actually a charm I could get in an area I didn't even know existed that would help with the poison would I have found that area on my

[31:23] own if I didn't look it up maybe but probably not if every area in this game was as frustratingly obtuse in punishing as bile water I certainly would not love it as much as I currently do but I can admit

[31:36] that there is value in having something in the age of online discussion be so hard that it requires help from others to overcome and that every possible inch in secret will be discovered eventually

[31:49] through that shared connection so what's the point of this entire video and what I have apparently decided to yap about this time honestly I think I'm still trying to figure that out myself this is a

[32:01] game that I clearly have many problems with but I am simultaneously so overwhelmed with gratitude that it even exists at all and it's $20 this game is cheaper than the t-shirts I am trying to sell to you

[32:16] Teen Cherry you're fucking up my whole thing I have been doing this for 10 years now and I feel like I have learned a billion things about writing and making videos but I also feel like I haven't learned

[32:28] a single fucking thing and I still have no idea what I'm doing I think I'd like to keep making videos for the next 10 years if you know if you or anyone else watching is still watching but we both know my upload frequency has become less and less over time and I think I'm still trying to pinpoint

[32:47] exactly why but I hope I figure it out and in the meantime thank you so much for watching my video and for watching any of the videos I told myself I wasn't gonna fucking cry any of the videos in the

[33:01] past 10 years and I will see you next time.

[33:31] but also per chance we just try and figure it out right now instead.

[34:01] I'm sorry I need your car I'm late for my youtube video sorry dude I've been sitting here for weeks

[34:17] and I've just been racking my brain day after day night after night wait hold on I want to hit this jump real quick and line this up still got it I think as far as the like why is my upload

[34:29] schedule been more infrequent I think it to playboy x you gotta stop I think it comes down to two main reasons that I've been thinking about a lot the first one unfortunately I think is an unhealthy one where I care way too much what other people think wait hold on I want to try to do a barrel roll

[34:47] off this ramp and it's not limited to just videos anyone that's a fan of my music which I appreciate that I think that I it's even worse when it comes to that and I'm actively working on music and I

[35:01] really want to release it but I think I it's never good enough and it always just fucking cringes me out or I hate it or whatever and I think I'm playboy you gotta cut it out dude I think I have a very irrational fear of like my worst case scenario is uploading a video and being the oh here's this

[35:19] fucking guy again guy you know what I mean oh here's this fucking guy again doing the same formula doing the same nostalgia oh he's on the ball he's on the green screen which it's like it's not that that's really reductive just like it's really reductive of me to suggest that so much of YouTube

[35:35] gaming is like oversaturated you know see of guys standing in front of thumbnails because it's not there's so many people that are consistently putting out really thoughtful interesting videos so

[35:48] I was talking to a really nice bartender the other night you know you know who you are he asked me how did you even get started making videos like what led you to it and I was also pretty drunk but I I think I gave him a pretty honest answer of like I consumed a lot of YouTube and I just had the

[36:04] thought oh I wonder if I can do that oh oh god this could not get worse and I I think that I wonder if I can do that is a very powerful feeling and um phrase that it is led at least me personally

[36:19] to doing a lot of things that I've had a lot of creative fulfillment out of but the second reason and one that I don't think it's as unhealthy and I never want to put something out that I don't care about and obviously that's only a luxury I can afford if I can afford it for better or worse

[36:36] I know what it feels like to be absolutely juiced up and passionate about a project and the downside the double edge sort of that you know exactly how it feels when you don't feel that because I know what

[36:49] it feels like to feel inspired by something or what direction I want to be pulled in it's just not necessarily in the same way that it has been which was discovering this formula of mine and figuring out

[37:01] how I can express different things about different ideas or you know whether it's more nostalgic or more critical or just something I wanted to talk about or whatever that's it's been an incredibly life changing and life affirming I don't know if I'm using that in the right way of you know as someone

[37:18] that didn't really have any sort of path lined out post high school I think that it's been a really really rewarding 10 years that has required navigating and learning a lot it's not something that I ever want to stop doing I think it's just that the the typical format is that is what I'm feeling

[37:36] is outdated I think that along with making more videos and finally releasing more music and really pushing myself on that front and stop getting way too in my own head about it I think my actual like wet dream I probably shouldn't praise it like that it's something that I've already

[37:55] publicly talked about but with ball creative I I really do want to expand into other things and obviously game development but I also know how difficult of an undertaking that is I also know what

[38:07] it feels like to really be curious about something and you know the whole I wonder if I can do that and so I know that that is the route that I am headed down and it is a dream of mine to do that with my brothers but I think the further dream if I'm being really honest is the idea of

[38:24] we make something and whatever you know I'm pretty sure shotty sloppy piece of shit that it will be especially as a first game and making games are so fucking hard and that some fuck on youtube makes a

[38:38] video called naky jake's game design is outdated that is my absolute dream because I know that person only made that video because they care so much the only reason you stay up at night writing a script

[38:53] or film yourself which is weird as fuck what I'm doing right now if you could see the way my camera is set up in my hallway I got McDonald's delivered and it looked like I'm filming a fucking snuff film filming yourself is weird as fuck and so I would know that that person only made that video

[39:10] because they care about gaming or about youtube or about just talking some shit so much that they spent time making something and I think that that that is that's the whole thing I think that's the

[39:24] that's the best thing I think that the best things are inevitably outdated every single one of my favorite games what I'm presently playing definitely included is outdated or heavily flawed in some way

[39:38] that's partially what makes them so beautiful as you can see the cracks in between of like the human passion that went into it because it's not just some fucking AI fed slop Michelle you're

[39:53] fucking outdated GTA 4 true nostalgia bro shut the fuck up at times I think that this is maybe my favorite game ever made and it is so heavily flawed rock stars game design is outdated it says the guy

[40:05] who's made a billion videos about rock star and is currently playing one right now I love that video and I'm really proud of myself for making it especially at the time when I did but also like red dead redemption to might be the greatest story ever told in a video game but as this game design

[40:21] was outdated a decade ago actually though what are they doing over there with the follow anniversary edition dude follow it for being like it runs worse and it's $60 for a game that's what now 10

[40:35] years old it says old is my fucking YouTube channel like I love Todd and I want Elder Scrolls 6 to be really good but man they are really burning a lot of bridges with their fans dude anyways if you're

[40:48] seeing this right now or if I'm just somehow I should probably talk more into the mic or if I'm just somehow telepathically communicating to anyone who has ever watched one of my videos I truly mean it

[41:01] thank you I'm not gonna cry this time I'm probably gonna cry thank you so much and I'm not going anywhere I want to keep making stuff it just might be a little different and I all I can do is try it

[41:17] so if you ever feel like I wonder if I can do that oh I know I was gonna cry I wonder if I can do that fucking do it I'll see you next time

[41:54] you