We can't invent a robot better than these ferrets

[00:00] I met some ferrets that do a better job

[00:04] The road trip took me back

[00:06] to the county of Derbyshire,

[00:07] and I parked up at a small rural farm

[00:09] that’s the home

[00:12] Which does need some explanation.

[00:18] The first question is:

[00:19] is the National Ferret School

[00:23] or a school for ferrets?

[00:24] Also, what is a ferret?

[00:26] So, this is where we keep our ferrets.

[00:29] This is the traditional way

[00:31] We believe the Romans carried ferrets

[00:34] because they spread the rabbit,

[00:35] and the only way to get a rabbit,

[00:37] or the best way to get a rabbit

[00:39] is to have something chase it out,

[00:40] ergo the ferret.

[00:42] And so people respected them,

[00:44] and they kept them in large enclosures

[00:48] And that’s exactly what we do now.

[00:50] Correct.

[00:51] So we should see a Pavlovian reflex now...

[00:53] Because when I come to feed them, I go...

[00:59] Oh hello!

[01:02] Those are ferrets.

[01:03] And James, who runs the ferret school,

[01:06] Uh, literally, this is his book.

[01:08] And so the school is both for people:

[01:10] to learn ferret handling and care

[01:13] and also to train ferrets.

[01:15] Because it turns out they can be

[01:18] and not just for hunting rabbits.

[01:20] So, ferrets are...

[01:22] I’m going to get my terminology

[01:25] They are indeed.

[01:26] And ferrets are domesticated

[01:29] Right.

[01:30] So many domesticated ferrets have been

[01:34] -Oh, that they’ve cross-bred?

[01:36] -Right.

[01:39] And the more I see of wild polecats,

[01:42] the more certain I am that these are them.

[01:44] -Did that one just sneeze?

[01:46] (laughs)

[01:47] My apologies, I was not able

[01:51] I don’t know how queasy your viewers are,

[01:55] Right okay.

[01:56] So at whatever stage in the day,

[01:58] and then you’ll see furry locusts descend

[02:02] And you see,

[02:04] Awh.

[02:05] Don’t worry, I’m not going to show

[02:08] But I did have one concern

[02:11] and to explain why

[02:14] I need to make a callback to 1977.

[02:17] Ow. Ow. Ow!

[02:19] I’m sorry. Ow!

[02:21] Richard Whiteley, legendary

[02:24] host of game show Countdown

[02:27] joked that when he died,

[02:29] his obituary would read:

[02:30] “Ferret man dies!”

[02:32] The clip of him being bitten by a ferret

[02:35] got played around the world,

[02:36] often with a big audience laugh

[02:39] And it seems like a bit of harmless fun,

[02:41] but despite the laughter of the crew,

[02:43] the man’s clearly in a lot of pain.

[02:45] It’s alright, let it go.

[02:49] It is hurting me.

[02:50] It was rushed out.

[02:52] Emergency centre.

[02:53] Complete blood transfusion.

[02:55] Intravenous antibiotics

[02:58] But thank God

[03:01] (laughs)

[03:03] Oh, I fell for that completely!

[03:06] I’m assured that the ferret was fine,

[03:09] but not wanting to end up

[03:12] I let James handle the ferrets.

[03:14] In you come.

[03:16] Oop.

[03:17] Hello.

[03:19] Whoops.

[03:20] -You want to come in?

[03:23] I imagine they’re smart enough

[03:25] -Nope.

[03:26] They’ll go under your feet to see what

[03:29] (laughs)

[03:32] Hello.

[03:33] Oh hi!

[03:34] I would think you would pick up the aroma.

[03:36] Yes, a little bit.

[03:38] Okay.

[03:39] But there are 20 ferrets in here.

[03:41] There’s going to be a bit of laughter

[03:43] because there were ferrets

[03:47] Thankfully, only the outside

[03:49] The specific name for these

[03:52] -Uh-huh.

[03:55] Yes.

[03:56] “Putorius” is where we get the word

[03:59] Oh okay.

[04:00] -And “furo” is a thief.

[04:02] So these guys are technically called

[04:06] Incredible. And that, I presume,

[04:10] -That’s the nest box, yes.

[04:12] I’m smiling a lot here, but also,

[04:14] they are trying to climb up my leg.

[04:17] Yes.

[04:18] Well, the thing about ferrets,

[04:21] is that they are nosy.

[04:23] So when you were doing

[04:25] you were ferreting out the information.

[04:27] Yes, I was!

[04:28] Ferrets always want to know:

[04:30] What is up there, what is through there?

[04:31] What’s around that corner?

[04:33] That’s what they do.

[04:34] So, 20 ferrets, if I had 20 sheep,

[04:37] 20 cows, a herd,

[04:38] 20 ferrets, it’s a business.

[04:40] Because as soon as you put a couple

[04:43] doing their business.

[04:44] Right! Oh. Yes, hello.

[04:47] They’ve...they have

[04:49] I’m working on the assumption

[04:51] and in the same way that a farmer

[04:55] you do not name individual ferrets here.

[04:57] No, but what we do do is we implant a chip

[05:01] and we can scan that,

[05:05] So are you breeding them?

[05:06] They do that on their own.

[05:08] (laughs)

[05:09] We supervise it.

[05:10] Yes.

[05:11] Sorry...

[05:13] someone is very, very interested

[05:16] Hello.

[05:18] Yes. Hi.

[05:19] A vet once described ferrets

[05:23] -Yeah. I can believe that.

[05:25] A juvenile ferret,

[05:28] is called a kit.

[05:30] The males are hobs,

[05:31] and the females, jills.

[05:32] How to tell those apart...

[05:34] The easiest way to tell

[05:37] The jills, the females,

[05:41] But if you look at that guy,

[05:45] -Yep.

[05:46] And the hobs can be twice the size

[05:49] So at some point,

[05:51] and you’ll have to separate them out?

[05:52] Well, these are just this year’s, these

[05:57] By this time next year,

[06:00] except when they’re doing their duties.

[06:02] Aside from the obvious, though,

[06:04] those ferrets have other duties,

[06:05] one of which is to chase out rabbits

[06:08] by diving down into the rabbit-holes.

[06:10] Rabbits are considered

[06:13] and unpleasant as it might be,

[06:17] almost all landowners are required to kill

[06:23] In practice, that’s not happening

[06:26] but certainly, farmers would appreciate

[06:30] when other options are available.

[06:34] But that’s not the job

[06:36] There are other reasons

[06:39] And training them

[06:42] What I will do, when we start using them

[06:46] is take an adult out

[06:50] and then it follows through,

[06:54] in the same way that most animals do.

[06:56] It’s how they train foxhounds.

[06:58] They couple them together.

[07:00] So, they literally learn the ropes.

[07:02] But other than that,

[07:07] Because one of the first questions

[07:11] is do they bite?

[07:12] They have teeth. They are capable.

[07:14] -Yep.

[07:16] And my doctor’s warned me about it.

[07:19] -Yes!

[07:20] Yeah, no, same, same, I’ve got that.

[07:22] -So I avoid that.

[07:23] So, we start handling them at four weeks.

[07:25] Their eyes start to open

[07:27] There is this big pink thing

[07:30] and they learn quickly

[07:32] Quite the opposite.

[07:33] Then they don’t bite.

[07:34] And then we start doing the Pavlovian bit

[07:38] of conditioning them

[07:41] Food.

[07:42] One of those is really trying to get

[07:45] Yes, I get through a lot of boots

[07:47] They love climbing.

[07:49] And all we try to do in here,

[07:51] this, if you like,

[07:53] So, we’ve got pipes,

[07:55] we’ve got branches,

[07:56] we’ve got all this substrate here

[08:00] and they just learn

[08:03] It keeps them fit and healthy,

[08:05] and no matter how hot or cold it is,

[08:08] somewhere in here

[08:11] So, in the cold,

[08:15] In the winter,

[08:18] If there’s too much, they drag it out.

[08:20] If it looks like it’s getting colder,

[08:23] and they will take it in.

[08:25] There’s a lot of rattling

[08:28] And I assume at some point...

[08:30] Careful with the feet...

[08:32] Oh, he’s coming back down, okay.

[08:33] My camera was jumping around there,

[08:35] because the ferret was turning round,

[08:36] back and forth, inside a piece of tubing

[08:41] which seems like it shouldn’t be possible

[08:44] They have articulated vertebrae,

[08:47] So, we all think that we’re fit

[08:50] -Yeah.

[08:52] and they can sit with their chin

[08:55] (laughs)

[08:55] But what none of us can do is put

[08:59] Oh!

[08:59] Or our right ear on our right ankle,

[09:02] And if that was hurting her at all,

[09:05] That’s a very unbothered ferret there.

[09:06] There you go. And over the years,

[09:11] but also most of this comes

[09:13] who taught me a lot.

[09:14] And so he always said, if you pick up

[09:18] maybe it’s just come out of a warren

[09:22] or something down there,

[09:24] then all you do is hold it like thus,

[09:26] and then swing it

[09:31] and you can see just how relaxed it goes,

[09:35] To be clear, the ferret

[09:37] Well, as you can see, look,

[09:41] (laughs)

[09:42] And some will stay like this for five

[09:46] and if the wind’s blowing,

[09:49] But it just works,

[09:50] and I’ve never ever

[09:54] Wow. Yeah,

[09:56] (laughter)

[09:58] -But now, look, she’s up and off again.

[10:01] I don’t know if your microphone’s

[10:03] There’s some noise, certainly.

[10:08] (cheeping)

[10:10] What’s that noise?

[10:11] -That’s the noise that they make.

[10:14] It’s uh yeah...

[10:17] They make that when they’re interested...

[10:21] ....when they’re unsure,

[10:24] But when they’re excited,

[10:27] and they bounce around on all fours

[10:30] and their head goes backwards

[10:33] and a lot of people seeing that

[10:36] and rip you to pieces or something.

[10:37] It’s just having a whale of a time.

[10:39] Here you go, climbing.

[10:41] Oh yeah, happily...

[10:44] ...happily six feet up.

[10:48] Oh, she’s taking the civilised way down.

[10:53] Yep.

[10:54] They bounce very well.

[10:56] And at the moment we’ve got this...

[10:58] Oh! And you were right.

[11:00] There goes...thank you. Thank you.

[11:02] I’m just being very careful with my feet.

[11:04] I’m going to go and recover...

[11:06] my camera.

[11:07] The trouble is, there is now a ferret

[11:11] There we go. Woah. Ha!

[11:13] I’m going to just remove myself

[11:17] -(laughs)

[11:19] The next question is

[11:21] What can you do with ferrets,

[11:24] Well, one thing about humans is

[11:28] narrow pipes that carry cables or stuff.

[11:30] Which is all well and good

[11:32] until there’s a problem somewhere inside

[11:35] and you need to dig all of it up

[11:38] It’d be really useful if you could locate

[11:43] Although, while we were going to set

[11:46] James told me something

[11:49] and it’s fascinating,

[11:52] If you turn to the Old Testament,

[11:54] that’s where God lists things

[11:58] And there is a list of animals

[12:01] ferrets are featured on them,

[12:03] James is right.

[12:04] Ferrets are mentioned

[12:09] “and the ferret, and the chameleon,

[12:11] “and the mole, those are unclean to you.”

[12:14] But that’s the King James Bible,

[12:16] a staple of the Church of England

[12:19] And I’m not a theologian, but,

[12:22] “ferret” in there

[12:25] The original word is “anaqah”,

[12:27] and modern translators are pretty sure

[12:31] which would have been a really common

[12:34] But that’s not certain,

[12:36] it’s in Biblical Hebrew.

[12:38] And I tried to find an English analogy

[12:41] because even Old English wouldn’t exist

[12:46] So, when the King James Bible

[12:48] in England in the 17th century,

[12:50] those scholars, who were mostly

[12:53] and who’d never

[12:56] let alone seen one, they picked “ferret”.

[12:59] Which doesn’t tell us much about

[13:03] but it does tell us something about

[13:07] It means they were so well known

[13:08] that they were used

[13:11] in the English version of the Bible.

[13:13] You couldn’t eat them, so the only reason

[13:18] And so they hunt with them

[13:20] Anyway, James and I....

[13:22] okay, mostly James,

[13:24] but James and I set up a course

[13:26] Oh, do you want a hand with that?

[13:28] Yes, if you grab that

[13:30] I see it.

[13:31] Problem with this stuff is it’s a pain

[13:37] That’s a huge amount of corrugated pipe.

[13:40] -It’s like fighting an octopus.

[13:43] That’s a tiny square pipe.

[13:45] They’ll go through that?

[13:47] Yeah yeah yeah.

[13:48] That’s a recipe for escape that, isn’t it?

[13:52] Don’t worry.

[13:54] They might just clamber around it.

[13:56] That’s what I was thinking.

[13:58] No, that should work.

[13:59] -That’ll do it?

[14:02] And then catch them at the other end.

[14:05] Oh, wait, I’m sorry. A ferret...

[14:07] a ferret is in this pipe already.

[14:09] Yes. Someone’s just poked

[14:12] (laughter)

[14:16] Hello!

[14:18] What are you doing, girly? Hey?

[14:21] Come on, then.

[14:23] Come on.

[14:24] She’s going to be

[14:27] Yes, she is. I’ll hold very still.

[14:30] Come on.

[14:31] Come on.

[14:32] Ah, you little devil.

[14:34] Just a bit further.

[14:36] Thank you.

[14:37] And it’s not like you could shake the pipe

[14:40] -No.

[14:42] Just keep your eye on it in case...

[14:43] In case there’s another one in there!

[14:45] We had a pipe

[14:47] And that ferret’s first job

[14:50] and if so, where.

[14:51] But if the ferret’s deep underground,

[14:55] This is the telemetry.

[14:57] -Right.

[15:01] This is shaped so it fits under the chin.

[15:04] And you’re not catching anything,

[15:06] This has various controls on,

[15:09] (beeping)

[15:12] And you should be able to see

[15:13] It’s called the Ferret Finder!

[15:15] The Ferret Finder version 3, as well.

[15:17] And if I move it away...

[15:18] (beeping rises and falls

[15:25] Name that tune.

[15:27] I think that might be

[15:29] that’s happened on this road trip so far.

[15:30] No matter how often they have these on,

[15:32] they love to make it

[15:34] (laughs)

[15:35] So, we put it round,

[15:39] -Oh!

[15:41] “That’s tight enough.”

[15:42] Immediately, if you let go,

[15:44] -Right.

[15:46] That looks really tight,

[15:48] -It is indeed.

[15:50] So, there we go!

[15:52] Oh, yes, good point.

[15:54] Let me turn that...

[15:56] (beeping lowers)

[15:58] Oh, you’ve got sensitivity calculation

[16:00] There you go. So you should hear it

[16:04] So, we’ve got all the way up there

[16:08] How fast is a ferret?

[16:10] Turns out very fast,

[16:11] as long as there isn’t a big

[16:14] that looks like a predator

[16:16] You ready?

[16:19] (scurrying)

[16:23] (chuckles)

[16:26] (ferret finder beeps)

[16:28] So, she’s past that.

[16:29] -Oh, that was fast! Hello!

[16:30] And she’s here, look.

[16:33] This will be interesting

[16:35] and she’s not used to doing this.

[16:38] Nope, doesn’t like it. Oh!

[16:43] You’re right, she doesn’t like that.

[16:44] The ferret looked at me,

[16:47] and then promptly went back to the start,

[16:49] something we only knew

[16:52] -She’s gone back.

[16:56] (chuckles)

[16:57] Decided did not like the clear pipe there,

[17:03] Let’s try her again.

[17:04] I’ll stay behind this time

[17:08] (ferret finder beeps)

[17:10] So fast!

[17:15] It was, it was me standing there.

[17:19] And then a tiny pipe.

[17:20] That’s a tiny...

[17:22] I’ve got no idea where...

[17:24] Now you’ve got

[17:26] This is salmon oil.

[17:27] This is their treat.

[17:29] They’d trade their granny for this.

[17:31] (makes kissing noises)

[17:36] Hello?

[17:39] (makes kissing noises)

[17:42] Good girl. Come on then.

[17:44] Good girl, what’s this?

[17:46] Awh.

[17:48] Mm-mm-mm.

[17:51] So clicking...

[17:53] Yep.

[17:54] ...that just tells her you’ve done well,

[17:58] We don’t give them lots of it,

[18:02] But I think she’s done a really good job

[18:04] -With a completely new layout...

[18:07] ...with clear bits in it and some idiot

[18:11] Yeah, that’s a pretty good job, that is.

[18:12] And she’s never run through

[18:14] So, the pipe is not blocked.

[18:16] But there is a second use for ferrets

[18:19] Sure, there are robots you can send in

[18:22] you could send a snaking camera down there

[18:25] but as I’ll show you in a bit,

[18:29] And it’s also probably better

[18:32] What if you already have

[18:35] and you want to put a new piece

[18:37] -High-vis vest.

[18:39] It’s a high-vis vest for a ferret!

[18:41] There you go.

[18:43] And again, probably tries to make it

[18:46] because that’s what they do.

[18:49] You’ve had some experience with that,

[18:55] Round there, fasten it up

[18:57] And again, you have to remember

[18:59] that these guys can breathe in,

[19:03] although you may think

[19:06] I can guarantee

[19:09] So, she has a line on the end.

[19:10] This is a Heath Robinson device

[19:13] that feeds it out without it tangling.

[19:16] We made the run a bit simpler for this,

[19:17] because the corrugated pipe wasn’t

[19:21] And so the plan is:

[19:24] we attach the string to the camera,

[19:26] we send the camera back down for

[19:30] Oh, she’s moving!

[19:31] Because that’s how cable-pulling works:

[19:33] the ferret can’t carry a camera,

[19:36] And this is a real thing that happens

[19:39] including, famously, for the TV coverage

[19:43] Hello!

[19:47] Nope.

[19:48] Didn’t like the, uh...

[19:50] I think didn’t like me there.

[19:52] That might have been me.

[19:54] There she goes.

[19:54] Yep. I need to learn

[19:56] That string,

[19:57] once it’s through, can be used to pull

[20:01] and so on, and so on, and so on,

[20:02] until the cable you want

[20:04] And there she is. Hello!

[20:07] Why not just use a robot?

[20:09] Or a simple machine?

[20:10] Well, granted, my camera on a stick

[20:14] but if you want a perfect demonstration

[20:18] let’s just say running the camera through

[20:22] So, ferret ran the cable.

[20:25] Cable attached to stick.

[20:28] Stick attached to camera.

[20:30] Ferret’s-eye view whenever you’re ready.

[20:32] Okay.

[20:33] Go!

[20:51] Go on.

[20:54] It was a valiant effort.

[20:56] Hang on.

[20:58] Try that.

[21:01] Turns out there are many things

[21:03] might still be the best way to do it.

[21:05] Well, it wasn’t one smooth run,

[21:08] Yeah. I’m amazed it did.

[21:09] -Thank you very much, sir.

[21:12] Next time, or right now

[21:14] an ancient ritual

[21:17] where I end up

[21:20] That’s not clickbait,