Why Agreeable People Earn Less
45sReveals a controversial link between personality and salary, sparking debate on gender pay gap.
▶ Play ClipAI Summary
Being agreeable in the workplace has both advantages and disadvantages. While agreeable individuals are good team players and give credit to others, the downside is a tendency to not effectively advocate for their own interests, which can negatively impact salary over time. This is a key factor in the gender pay gap, and the speaker offers advice on how to negotiate for better pay by balancing assertiveness with disagreeableness.
Chapters
[0:00]
Advantage and Disadvantage of Agreeableness
Being agreeable is good for teamwork and giving credit, but it negatively predicts salary over time because agreeable people are less likely to put forward their own interests.
[0:16]
Agreeableness and the Gender Pay Gap
Agreeableness is part of the reason women are paid less than men. The speaker directs this advice particularly to women in the class.
[0:28]
Key Factors in Salary over Time
Salary depends on skills, abilities, position, social network, and whether you actually ask for more money. Simply asking is crucial.
[0:45]
The Nature of Salary Negotiation
Instead of simply asking, you must tell your boss you need to be paid more or something they don't like will happen. This is not a threat, but presenting an alternative.
[1:04]
How to Negotiate Effectively
State what you do, why it's useful, why you must be paid more, and present your opportunities if they refuse. The boss often needs an excuse to give you a raise, so you must put your case forward powerfully.
[1:31]
Balancing Disagreeableness
You must put your case forward disagreeably, but not too disagreeably, or you risk being seen as difficult or getting fired. The key is finding the right balance.
[1:50]
Negative Emotion and Self-Doubt in Women
Women, often higher in negative emotion, tend to underestimate their utility in business settings. Their flaws stand out more than their strengths, leading to self-doubt in negotiations.
[2:27]
Consequences of Winning Negotiations
Winning negotiations leads to more promotion opportunities and revenue, but also increased responsibility, which can be unpleasant for agreeable people who dislike being disliked and conflict.
[2:51]
Motivation of Agreeable People
Agreeable people are primarily motivated by maintaining intimate positive relationships and seeking to be liked, which makes them conflict-avoidant.
To get a pay raise, you must overcome agreeableness and self-doubt, and present a powerful, balanced case to your boss, including alternatives. While this can lead to career advancement, it also brings more responsibility and potential conflict, which may be challenging for agreeable individuals.
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85% Legit"The title accurately reflects the content — the transcript directly discusses strategies for asking for a pay raise, addressing the psychological and behavioral aspects involved."
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Study Flashcards (7)
What is the primary downside of being agreeable in the workplace?
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What is the primary downside of being agreeable in the workplace?
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Agreeableness negatively predicts salary over time because agreeable people are less likely to put forward their own interests.
According to the transcript, what is part of the reason women get paid less than men?
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According to the transcript, what is part of the reason women get paid less than men?
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Agreeableness is part of the reason women get paid less than men.
0:16
What does the speaker say you should do instead of simply asking for more money?
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What does the speaker say you should do instead of simply asking for more money?
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You should tell your boss that you need to be paid more or something they don't like will happen, presenting it as an alternative, not a threat.
0:45
Why does the speaker say the boss often needs an excuse to give you a raise?
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Why does the speaker say the boss often needs an excuse to give you a raise?
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Because everyone is asking for money all the time, and the boss needs a reason to give you a raise over others.
1:17
What is the risk of being too disagreeable in a salary negotiation?
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What is the risk of being too disagreeable in a salary negotiation?
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You might be seen as a son of a bitch, get nothing, or even get fired for being mouthy.
1:37
Why do women tend to underestimate their utility in business settings, according to the speaker?
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Why do women tend to underestimate their utility in business settings, according to the speaker?
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Because women are often higher in negative emotion, so their flaws stand out more than their strengths, leading to self-doubt.
1:50
What is the primary motivator for agreeable people?
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What is the primary motivator for agreeable people?
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The maintenance of intimate positive relationships and being liked.
2:51
💡 Key Takeaways
📊
Agreeableness and Salary
Directly links the personality trait of agreeableness to lower salary outcomes, providing a concrete, testable claim.
💡
Gender Pay Gap Explanation
Offers a psychological explanation for a systemic economic issue, grounding it in personality psychology.
0:16
🔧
Effective Negotiation Script
Provides a practical, actionable framework for negotiating a raise, including presenting alternatives.
1:04
⚖️
Balancing Disagreeableness
Highlights the delicate balance needed in negotiation, avoiding the extremes of passivity and aggression.
1:31
💡
Conflict-Avoidance of Agreeable People
Explains the core motivation of agreeable people, which is key to understanding their behavior in negotiations and leadership.
2:51Full Transcript
[00:00] Now the advantage to being agreeable then is that you're good in teams and you're
[00:03] very much likely to give other people credit. The downside of being agreeable is that
[00:07] you're not very good at putting forward your own interests. And so one of the
[00:11] things that predicts salary across time, for example, is agreeableness and it predicts it negatively.
[00:16] And so it's part of the reason why women get paid less than men. And
[00:19] this is something for the women in the class to really listen to. Because how
[00:25] you get paid across time depends on a very large number of things, right? It
[00:28] depends on your... How you get paid across time depends on a very large number
[00:31] of things, right? It depends on your skills and your abilities and your position and
[00:35] your social network and all of that. But the other thing it depends on is
[00:38] whether or not you actually go ask for money. Or maybe that you don't even
[00:41] ask. Because actually you don't ask for money. You tell people that you need to
[00:45] be paid more or something they don't like will happen. And I don't mean as
[00:49] a threat. I mean that you have to be willing, when you're negotiating, to have
[00:54] an alternative. You go talk to your boss who isn't going to give you money
[00:57] because everyone wants money, right? It's a competitive game. Who isn't going to give you
[01:00] money because everyone wants money, right? It's a competitive game. You're going to have to
[01:04] be, you're going to have to go there and say, look, here's what I do.
[01:08] Here's why it's useful. Here's why you have to give me more money. And this
[01:12] is my opportunities if you don't. And then you're not taking your boss's money anyways
[01:17] because it's very seldom, very frequently the case that he's working for a whopping big
[01:21] company. But he needs an excuse to give you money because everyone's asking for money
[01:26] all the time. And so you have to put your case forward powerfully. the time.
[01:31] And so you have to put your case forward powerfully and disagreeably. Now, you don't
[01:37] want to do it too disagreeably, because then he's going to think that you're a
[01:40] son of a bitch, and maybe he's not going to give you anything, and maybe
[01:42] you'll get fired for being mouthy and all of that. And that certainly happens to
[01:46] people who are too disagreeable. You've got to get the balance right, but it's definitely
[01:50] the case. And the other thing that happens to women that's also worth noting, and
[01:53] this is probably because they're higher in negative emotion, is they tend to underestimate their
[01:58] own utility in business settings, right? Because if you're trying to evaluate
[02:05] what you're like and you're more tilted towards negative emotion, then the things that you
[02:10] do that are wrong are going to stand out more on the foreground than the
[02:14] things that you do that are right. So if you go into a negotiation and
[02:17] you're uncertain already because you have self -doubts and then you're agreeable in the negotiation,
[02:22] what's going to happen is that you're not going to win as often. And winning
[02:27] in a business setting or in a career development setting means more opportunity for promotion.
[02:32] setting or in a career development setting means more opportunity for promotion and more revenue
[02:37] generated. Now the downside of that of course is as you climb the business hierarchy
[02:41] is that you also have to take on more responsibility and that responsibility is sometimes
[02:46] unpleasant as well especially to people who are agreeable because you're not necessarily liked if
[02:51] you're in a position of authority and agreeable people really like to be liked. It's
[02:55] their primary motive motivator because they're concerned about the maintenance I would say of
[03:00] intimate positive relationships.
[03:07] and that also makes them conflict avoidant.